The 4 steps to financial freedom

Steps to Financial FreedomFinancial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this. ~Dave Ramsey

Many people are searching for the steps to financial freedom. Search the internet and there will be references to seven, eight, nine and even ten steps but I think only four steps really matter.

However before I discuss those steps, let us first think about the biggest cause of people remaining poor, namely the burden of debt.

Statistics suggest that most people these days are heavily in debt. And debt is a burden that enslaves us. Knowing we have debts can be stressful.

What is the underlying cause of such debt? That’s simple. Mostly it’s the overuse of credit cards with little or no thought to how this will affect our financial well-being.

Unsecured debt built up through the excessive use of credit cards is very expensive.

That means even a small sum outstanding on a credit card can quickly become a large debt due to the effect of compound interest if you only make minimum payment each month.

Are you affected by debt dear reader? Are your finances out of control? Would you like to achieve financial freedom?

Steps to Financial Freedom:

Often I hear people say things like, if only I could increase my income I could pay off my debts.

In fact those same people, if they did increase their income, would probably just spend more. And financial freedom would still remain a distant dream.

If financial freedom is your aim then it’s essential that you take control of your finances. And the steps to financial freedom are as follows:-

1. Spend less than you earn:

It all starts with spending less than you earn. If you spend less than you earn you can work on becoming debt free and then start to build capital.

2. Pay yourself first:

You must always pay yourself first. What does that mean? It means that as soon as you get paid each month you take a minimum of 10% of what you earn and put it away somewhere safe immediately.

Never, ever wait until the end of the month to see what you’ve got left.

If you do that you’ll never save anything.

If you take 10% upfront it will just be another debit on your income like taxes and pension contributions. You’ll quickly get used to having only the remaining 90% to live on.

And what do you do with the 10% or whatever you’ve put away?

3. Eliminate credit card debt:

Initially if you have a credit card debt burden then it makes sense to use that money to deal with paying off your debt first because the interest you’ll pay on the debt is always greater than any interest you’ll get on savings.

To pay off your credit card debt it’s essential that you find a way to eliminate the interest element each month so that any payments you then make go against the outstanding balance.

And how is that done?

Well, when you take out a new credit card account it often comes with a period of zero interest, usually six months. These accounts also usually allow you to transfer in an outstanding debt from another credit card account.

So by moving from one card provider to another and transferring the debt across to the new account, you then have a period of six months to make payments against the outstanding balance without accumulating interest on the old debt.

Never, ever use this card to increase your debt. Use it only for reducing your debt.

At the end of the period of zero interest on your new card repeat the process if necessary. Once again, you move to another card account offering you a zero interest period. By focusing only on the outstanding balance it will be paid off quicker.

Eliminating the burden of debt is the first step on the road to financial freedom.

Freedom from debt will give you peace of mind. And peace of mind is a good reason for spending less than you earn.

Once the debt is cleared, what next with the money you’ve paid yourself first.

4. Build capital:

Initially put your money into a savings account. Then, as that builds into a larger sum, you can start thinking about other forms of investment like stocks, bonds and property.

Once you develop the habit of putting some of your money away each month it’s amazing how quickly it accumulates into a decent capital sum and you’ll be on the road to achieving financial freedom.

Conclusion:

Learn to live within your means.

If you live modestly and spend your money wisely, you can ensure that you have enough money when you really need it.

You can also build that nest egg for your retirement and give a little back to those less fortunate than yourself. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself too.

Conversely, gathering too much clutter through excessive spending on things you don’t really need can become stressful, as well as wasteful. The choice is yours.

Financial freedom is achievable and it will give you peace of mind.

You will sleep better knowing you’re debt free.

The steps to financial freedom are really quite simple. Spend less than you earn; pay yourself first; eliminate expensive credit card debt; and start building capital.

Do this and one day your older self will be grateful you made the effort I can assure you.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find this article interesting and useful?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you do I will be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles you might also find interesting:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

How to be financially smart

How to be financially smartI have only myself to depend on for my financial stability. ~Marie Helvin

How to be financially smart? That’s hard, don’t you think?

It’s much easier to get yourself into a financial mess, wouldn’t you agree dear reader?

Let’s face it, we all want it all and we all want it now, surely?

Certainly it’s not unreasonable to want to have some fun, is it? We all deserve a little bit of fun, surely?

And naturally you want to spend your money on lots of nice clothes and exotic weekends away with your friends too. Life’s too short not too, wouldn’t you agree?

The problem is, if you adopt this approach to life, your money’s spent before it’s earned. And that’s when you’re heading down the road to financial disaster if you’re not careful.

Some readers may argue that it doesn’t matter, as long as you’ve got your ‘flexible friend‘ to pay for everything. Life’s fantastic when you’ve got plastic!

And maybe it is, until you hit your credit limit and the bills start piling up.

Then your wardrobe is cluttered with clothes and shoes you’ll never wear and you’re burdened with expensive credit card debt which you’ll struggle to pay off.

And very soon a small debt becomes a large debt due to the ‘magic‘ effect of compound interest.

How does the story end? Basically it only ends one way. A financial mess, even if it was one you thought you could avoid.

Does this sound like you dear reader? If it does, you’re not alone.

However if you’re in a financial mess and you’re not sure who to blame, then just take a long, hard look in the mirror. The person to blame will be staring right back at you.

It’s not the fault of the government. It’s not the fault of your current or previous employers. Your parents are not to blame either.

You are captain of your own ship. So you must start taking responsibility for yourself and your own financial well-being. However, with a little bit of thought, it really isn’t difficult.

The first step is to stop wasting your money, buying things you don’t need in an attempt to impress people who don’t really care anyway.

If you’re thinking about how to be financially smart then remember this; Credit cards may be a convenient means of paying for things and they tend to be the preferred method of payment these days for young people. However they’re also weapons of mass wealth destruction. That’s a fact dear reader.

If you want to be financially smart then just follow these rules:-

Rule 1:

Never, ever buy anything on a credit card if there’s even the remotest possibility the you won’t be able to pay off your bill in full at the end of the month.

Credit card debt is unsecured which means that it comes with very high interest rates, always!

You must recognize that debt with high interest rates increases rapidly, if all you do is make minimum payment each month.

Rule 2:

Think carefully before you spend.

Ask yourself these questions before you make a purchase, whatever it is:-

      1. Do I really need it?
      2. Will I really use it?
      3. Can I live without it?
      4. Would the money be better utilized is some other way?
      5. Would I be better saving my money?

Rule 3:

Be sensible with your money. Spend it wisely and sparingly. 

Being sensible with your money might sound boring but it’s less stressful than the alternative, trust me. High levels of debt can be very stressful.

Conclusion:

How to be financially smart is not difficult.

The key to this is to avoid getting yourself into a financial mess in the first place. You’ll find that this is the least stressful approach to life.

However, if you’ve already got yourself into a financial mess, then don’t moan about it. Make sure you do something about it instead.

And that starts with paying off debts as quickly as possible and learning to spend your money wisely by following Rules 1, 2 and 3.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find this article interesting and useful?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you do I will be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles you might also find interesting:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

How to build confidence and self-esteem

How to build confidence and self-esteemRealizing your full potential would be an excellent definition for success, wouldn’t you agree dear reader?

Unfortunately that’s easier said than done, of course.

For many, if not most, people what’s going on in their head can be the greatest barrier to achieving their full potential. Could you be one of those people dear reader?

You want to achieve success but you’re full of self-doubt?

You don’t believe you’re worthy enough, perhaps?

You just don’t believe you can do it and generally you find it hard to believe in yourself?

And then there’s that old chestnut from which we all suffer occasionally, namely the fear of being found out.

It all boils down to lacking self-belief, a lack of confidence and low levels of self-esteem.

Ultimately all those negative thoughts prevent you from achieving your full potential and they’re a drain on your confidence and self-esteem too.

Negative self-talk not only drains your confidence, it also drains your emotions and it can rob you of the energy you need to work towards achieving your goals and becoming the person you’d like to be. And becoming the incredible person you really could be too.

Within us, we all have enormous potential.

That’s a fact that many people fail to appreciate.

We have so much to offer but for many people that potential goes unrealized.

Essentially many of us just waste so much of the potential we have to offer.

How to build confidence and self-esteemSo how do we become more confident and increase our self-esteem? Now there’s an important question.

The late, great Jim Rohn used to say, “Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” And he was right in my opinion.

The more you work on yourself, the more confident you’ll become and the greater will be your sense of self-esteem. It really can be that simple.

In the embedded video included below, Oprah Winfrey gives us her views on why it’s important to work on yourself.

And let’s face it, Oprah Winfrey is extremely successful by any measure, so she’s one person to which we should all be listening, or at least those people for whom success is a goal.

If success is your aim, listening to successful people on a regular basis is a very good idea. Find out a few of their secrets and copy them and you’ll be well on your way to achieving and sustaining success yourself.

This is an excellent video and I can recommend it.

Working on yourself:

If this video has roused your curiosity about Oprah Winfrey’s ideas then she’s written many books and they’re all worth reading. You’ll find them all on Amazon. JUST CLICK HERE

DISCLOSURE: This website is an Amazon affiliate. Should you click on the link included in the text above and you then make a purchase, you should be aware that this website will receive a small commission. These commissions serve only to cover the cost of maintaining this site. Your understanding is truly appreciated dear reader. Thank you.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find this article and the video interesting and useful?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you do I will be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles you might also find interesting:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

25 funny witty quotes that will seriously tickle you

Funny Witty QuotesI always get the best reaction from readers with posts that are full of content to make you smile. And that’s natural of course. We all need a good laugh, don’t we?

With that in mind I’ve been trawling the Internet and my personal journals looking for funny witty quotes which I hope you’ll enjoy dear reader.

Here are today’s 25 funny witty quotes that I’m confident will tickle you. Certainly they tickled me.

They’re all by Authors Unknown but they’re razor sharp and funny nevertheless.

So go on take a few minutes right now to have a laugh and enjoy them all.

Funny witty quotes:

  1. ‘Be yourself’ is the worst piece of advice you can give to some people.
  2. Some people just need a sympathetic pat on the head, with a hammer.
  3. HIM: How is it your single? HER: Surely you mean you’re?
  4. Arguing with a fool serves only to prove that there are two.
  5. Only dead fish go with the flow.
  6. Funny Witty QuotesThe only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t hold this much personality.
  7. Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you’re drunk.
  8. There are only two rules in life. No 1: Never ever give out all the information.
  9. You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid who acts just like you.
  10. If you have nothing to be grateful for check your pulse.
  11. Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.
  12. I’ve learned so much from my mistakes I’m thinking of making a few more.
  13. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
  14. We mature with damage, not with years.
  15. Life is short. So smile while you still have teeth.
  16. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
  17. Sarcasm is not an attitude. It’s an art.
  18. I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
  19. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
  20. The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Otherwise, watch out.
  21. The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humour.
  22. Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the privilege.
  23. If you don’t like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalk.
  24. If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving’s not for you.
  25. 129% of people exaggerate.

Funny Witty QuotesPlease share this post with your friends:

So did these funny witty quotes amuse you dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

3 funny story jokes to make you chuckle

Funny Story JokesHow to impress the girl of your dreams:

Young Josh is a 16 year old, shy and socially awkward guy constantly dreaming of dating a girl, like most young men of his age.

As luck would have it the real object of his affections lives right next door to him. Her name’s Charlene, she’s slim, attractive, cultured and perfectly poised.

However poor Josh is a little too bashful to engage her in conversation.

Nevertheless that doesn’t stop him watching her dreamily from his bedroom window as she wanders across her yard each morning to use the toilet.

One day Josh’s father notices him watching Charlene from his bedroom window.

Josh if you like the girl, why not say hello to her?” says his Dad.

Oh Dad, I’m not very good at talking to girls, I never quite know what to say to them”, Josh responds.

Look son”, says his dad, “girls just like you to take an interest in them and what they’ve been doing. Just ask her about what she’s been doing.

The following day Josh sees Charlene wander across her yard, heading towards the john at the end of her garden.

Desperate to impress her and thinking he’s spotted an ideal opportunity to follow his Dad’s advice, Josh rushes outside to catch her attention as she’s returning to the house.

Encouraged when Charlene flashes him a smile, Josh is convinced that this is his opportunity impress to her.

And then he hears himself say, “Been taking a dump then, Charlene?

Funny Story JokesThe man and the penguins:

Police officer Maguire is sitting in his patrol car by the side of the freeway when he sees a guy drive past him in a pickup truck which is full of penguins.

With blue lights flashing, Officer Maguire chases after the pickup truck and he pulls the guy over.

Sir, you do know that penguins are a protected species and you can’t drive them around like this in this town?” says Officer Maguire. “I suggest you take them to the zoo.

Having given the guy a polite warning, Officer Maguire then lets him go on his way.

The very next day Officer Maguire is in his patrol car again when he sees the same man still driving around with the penguins and this time they’re all wearing sunglasses.

So Officer Maguire pulls the guy over once again and he says to him, “Hey buddy, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo yesterday.

I did”, the man replies, “and today I’m taking them to the beach.

Funny Story JokesChildren and their teacher:

It’s the end of the school year and the popular kindergarten teacher is receiving gifts from the children in her class.

She asks them to each bring their gift to the front, one at a time.

First up is the florist’s son. He proudly hands her his neatly wrapped gift and she thanks him and smiles.

She then gives the gift a little shake, holds it above her head momentarily and then says, “I bet I know what this is. Some flowers?

That’s right”, says the boy, “but how did you know?

Oh, it’s just a lucky guess“, says the teacher.

The next child to offer a gift is the sweet shop owner’s daughter.

Once again the teacher gives the gift a little shake, holds it above her head momentarily and then says, “I bet I know what this is. It’s a box of sweets?

That’s right”, says the little girl, “but how did you know?

Oh, it’s just a lucky guess“, says the teacher.

The next child to offer a gift is the son of the liquor store owner.

As before the teacher holds the gift-wrapped package above her head momentarily but it’s leaking.

So she touches a drop of the slightly yellow liquid with her finger and then touches her finger on her tongue.

Is it a Chardonnay?” asks the teacher.

No!” the boy replies, a little excited in anticipation of her response.

Once again the teacher touches the leaking, yellowy liquid with her finger and then touches her finger on her tongue.

Perhaps it’s Champagne?” she suggests.

No!” the boy replies, even more excited than before.

So the teacher has one more quick taste of the liquid before saying, “Alright then, I give up, you’ve got me on his one. What is it?

With a beaming smile and great excitement the boy says, “It’s a puppy!

Please share the fun:

So for you dear reader, did these funny story jokes make you laugh?

I hope so. However there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, I would be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. Thank you.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

How to invest your money like the rich do

How to invest your money like the rich doA theme I’m constantly exploring is building wealth by investing money. Partly that’s due to personal interest but I know it’s also a subject in which many readers have an interest too. 

If you can build your own wealth then you can enjoy financial independence. How good would that be?

Achieving financial independence means you can then spend your life doing things you enjoy doing rather than things you’re obliged to do because you have no choice.

So your goal should be to become financially independent as quickly as possible, surely?

The problem for most people is that they spend their money as soon as they get it, and often long before they get it.

If people save at all, it often tends to be with whatever money they’ve got left at the end of the month. And that’s unlikely to be much.

The result is that most people have little or no savings at all, and far too many people are burdened with expensive debt as well.

Such people are destined to spend their lives being poor. That’s sad but true. And don’t forget this; debt enslaves you.

So dear reader do you want to get rich?

I think most people would say that they do but very few people have the fiscal discipline to save money, build capital and make it grow.

Some readers would probably argue that the wealthy have an unfair advantage when it comes to investing their money. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. However there are ordinary folks who manage to get rich so you can too.

How to invest your money like the rich doThe question is where do you begin?

A good start would be to educate yourself in the art of saving, growing your money and building wealth.

Now that doesn’t mean you have to go back to college. You can self-educate yourself by reading some of the many excellent books available on the subject.

Create your own small library of good reference books on money matters.

Identify great investors like Warren Buffett and read what they have to say and indeed copy what they do. If it worked for them then it can work for you too.

In the meantime the video included below offers you some useful insights into how the rich invest their money.

It will cost you nothing to watch this video and it really is worth your time, if you want to work towards becoming financially independent.

And if you’d like to learn more about Warren Buffett’s investment philosophy you’ll find a selection of useful books on Amazon if you just CLICK HERE.

How to invest your money like the rich do:

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find this article and the video interesting and useful?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you do I will be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

DISCLOSURE: This website is an Amazon affiliate. Should you click on any of the links included in the text above and you then make a purchase, you should be aware that this website will receive a small commission. These commissions serve only to cover the cost of maintaining this site. Your understanding is truly appreciated dear reader. Thank you.

Other articles you might also find interesting:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

5 ways to increase your value

Jim RohnIn the video embedded in this post, the late, great Jim Rohn offers you five ways to increase your value.

If earning more money is your aim, then that doesn’t happen by accident of course.

Work is just doing stuff for other people in exchange for money. Essentially work is the transfer of value, so the value you have to offer really matters.

We don’t get paid for the hour of work, we get paid for the value we can deliver in that hour.

So the underlying point Jim Rohn makes in the video is that the amount you earn and the wealth you enjoy is dictated by how much value you bring to life and those for whom you are working.

I can tell you now that Jim Rohn is making an important point here and what he says is true.

Thus knowing how to increase your value is essential, if you’re to increase your income.

If you increase your value, you can have success in abundance; prosperity and wealth can be yours; and the law of attraction will work in your favour.

And remember; if your aim is to make the most of your life then listening to people like Jim Rohn is a habit worth forming. Listen to successful people and you can be successful too.

So take a moment or two now to listen to Jim Rohn and I promise you, you’ll feel it was well worth your time.

Five ways to increase your value:

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find this article and the video interesting and useful?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you do I will be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles you might also find interesting:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

3 funny stories that’ll make you laugh until you cry

Funny stories that'll make you laugh until you cry1. Patrick’s doppelgänger:

Mick is the bartender is a Dublin bar and Patrick is sitting at the counter drinking. Suddenly Patrick says to Mick, “You see that guy over there? Don’t you think he looks just like me?

Yes he does”, says Mick humoring him.

Patrick then walks over to his doppelgänger and says, “Excuse me sir, but I couldn’t help noticing that you and I look so much alike.

You’re right, we really do look alike”, says the guy.

Where are you from?” asks Patrick.

I’m from Rathmines” says the guy.

Which street?” Patrick then asks.

Mayo Abbey Street” says the guy.

Mayo Abbey Street?” says Patrick. “Now that’s incredible. That’s my street too. What number?

I live at 47” the guy responds.

47?” says Patrick. “I don’t believe it! Me too! What are your parents’ names?

Thomas and Bernadette” says the guy.

That’s unbelievable” Patrick responds. “My parents have the same names.

Just then Mick’s colleague Jim arrives on shift.

How’s it going Mick?” says Jim. “Has there been much happening tonight?

Not really” Mick responds, “oh, except for the O’Donnell twins being drunk again.”

2. Pumping out the tank:

A C-5 Galaxy military transport aircraft is being prepared for departure at a US Air Force base in Greenland.

The crew’s waiting for a truck to arrive so that the aircraft’s sewage tank can be pumped out.

Nothing’s going quite to plan and the aircraft commander is growing impatient.

When the truck eventually shows up, the airman carrying out the pumping task on the tank is extremely slow and seems to take an age.

Eventually the commander has had enough and he snaps and threatens to punish the airman for being so slow.

Sir, I have no stripes, it’s twenty five below zero, I’m stationed in Greenland miles from civilization, and I’m pumping sewage.” the airman responds. “What could you possibly do that would punish me further?

Funny stories that'll make you laugh until you cry3. The artist:

An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in any of the paintings he currently has on display.

Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you”, the owner replies.

What’s the good news?” asks the artist.

Well a gentleman inquired about your work and he asked me whether the paintings would appreciate in value after your death”, says the owner.

Really?” inquires the artist.

Yes, and when I told him they would he bought all thirty of your paintings” the owner continued.

Wow, that’s fantastic news!” says the artist. “So what’s the bad news?

The gentleman said he was your doctor” the owner responds.

Please share with your friends:

So for you dear reader, did these prove to be funny stories that made you laugh until you cried?

I hope so. However there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read today then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, then I would be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. Thank you.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

3 hilariously funny short story jokes

hilariously funny short story jokes1. Jackie and the Game Warden:

Steve and Jackie went on vacation to a fishing resort in Montana.

Now Steve was a keen fisherman and he liked to go out fishing early in the morning. Whereas when she’s on vacation Jackie preferred just to relax and read.

One morning after a few hours of fishing on the lake Steve returned in the boat and, feeling a little tired by now, decided to take a midday nap.

At this point Jackie is feeling in need of a little fresh air so, although not really familiar with their boat, she decided to take it out onto the lake.

So she motored out a short distance, anchored the boat, and then continued reading her book in the peace and tranquility of this beautiful part of the world.

Jackie’s sitting reading for about half an hour when suddenly the Game Warden’s boat pulls up next to her boat.

Good day mam”, said the Game Warden. “What are you doing?

I’m reading a book”, Jackie replied.

Mam do realize you’re in a restricted fishing area?” said the Game Warden.

Does that really matter?” said Jackie. “I’m not fishing I’m reading.

The Game Warden cast his experienced eye over her boat and then said, “Mam I can see your boat has all the equipment for fishing. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’m afraid I’ll have to write you up a ticket.

Jackie smiled and then said, “Officer, if you do that I will file a complaint against you for sexual assault.

Surprised and slightly concerned by her response the Game Warden said, “Mam, what do you mean? I haven’t laid a finger on you?

Perhaps”, said Jackie “but you have all the equipment to do so. For all I know you could start at any moment.

You have a nice day mam”, said the Game Warden, as he re-started his engine and sailed away, leaving Jackie to her reading.

Moral of the story: Don’t mess with women. You won’t win.

2. The silent treatment:

Frank and his wife Liz were giving each other the silent treatment after an argument.

This had gone on for 10 days when Frank realized he needed her to wake him the following morning at 5am so he could catch the 8am flight to Los Angeles for a very important business meeting.

However Frank didn’t want to be the first to break the silence so he left a note on her bedside table which read, “Please wake me at 5am.

The next morning he woke up only to find it was already 9am. So he’d missed his flight to Los Angeles.

Frank was furious and he was about to ask his wife why she hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper on his bedside table. It read, “It’s 5am. Wake up.

Moral of the story: Don’t mess with women. You won’t win.

hilariously funny short story jokes3. A woman’s contribution:

One evening Bill returned home from work only to find his home completely wrecked and upside down. Everything was in a complete mess.

Bill’s three young children were still in their pajamas, eating snacks from the fridge. The entrance rug normally in the hall was lying on the table. The television in the living room was blasting out cartoons loudly. And every item of furniture in the room was covered in stuff.

He walked into the kitchen only to find that the sink was full of dishes. Leftovers from breakfast were scattered all over the counter and it was covered in crumbs too.

So Bill immediately ran up the stairs, dodging toys and piles of clothes, fearing his wife might be gravely ill or that some other misfortune might have happened to her.

When he entered their bedroom, breathless, Bill found his wife lying happily in bed, still in her pajamas, reading a book.

Watching him struggling for breath she smiled and said, “Hello honey how was your day?

Feeling more than surprised and a little confused, Bill asked his wife, “What’s going on? What the hell has been happening here today?

Once again Bill’s wife smiled and said, “Remember that argument we had last night when you hurtfully asked me what the hell I did all day?

“Ehhhh, yes I think so”, said Bill, still slight confused.

Well today I didn’t do any of it, so now you know,” his wife responded.

Moral of the story: Don’t mess with women. You won’t win.

Please share the fun:

I hope you found these jokes as funny as you’d hoped dear reader.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today then please share these jokes with all  your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

So go on, please do it now. I will be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

3 funny jokes you can tell your colleagues at an office party

funny jokes you can tell your colleagues at an office party1. Buying a parrot:

Jerry’s wife decides she’d like a parrot for a pet as a birthday gift and of course, she wanted one that could talk.

Naturally Jerry knows it’s important to keep his wife happy, if he’s to be happy, but he doesn’t want to spend too much money on an exotic bird.

However he hears about an auction were exotic birds are being traded and he thinks this might be just the place to purchase a parrot at a reasonable price.

So Jerry arrives at the auction room and he immediately spots a parrot with a reserve price of $100.

That looks perfect,” thinks Jerry.

So bidding starts and they get to the $100 reserve price quickly and bidding is with Jerry at the $100. He thinks the bird is his when suddenly a mystery bidder says $120.

Having the price pushed up at the last minute is an irritation but Jerry is determined to get this bird for his wife.

So Jerry shouts, “$150!” but the mystery bidder then says, “$200!

Jerry is even more determined now and he decides he’ll go on up to a maximum of $500. He thinks to himself, “If I can’t get it for that price then I will just have to withdraw from the bidding.

So Jerry and the mystery bidder continue their contest and the price continues to soar until it reaches $500.

The auctioneer says, “Do I have any advance $500? OK fair warning. Going once…….

It looks like Jerry’s got it at $500, and he waits with bated breath as the auctioneer says, “Going twice…..

There’s no further bid from the mystery bidder.

Sold!” says the auctioneer.

Jerry breathes a sigh of relief.

As he’s paying for the bird Jerry says to the auctioneer, “I hope this parrot can talk. My wife would kill me if she knew I’ve paid this much money for a parrot only to find it can’t talk.”

The auctioneer smiles at Jerry as he says, “Yes, of course he can talk. Who do you think was bidding against you?

2. The bank robbery:

A man with a shotgun and a scarf covering the lower half of his face bursts into a branch of Bank of America.

Freeze! No one move!” he shouts.

He hands a large leather bag to a teller and says, “Fill it with cash and you won’t get hurt.

The teller complies with his demand but as he grabs the cash-filled bag from her, the scarf slips briefly to reveal his face. Quickly he pulls it back into position.

However panicked that a witness may have seen his face he starts interrogating the customers.

Pointing his gun at a couple standing nearby the bank robber growls at the man, “Did you see my face, because if you did I will shoot you dead?

No, I didn’t see your face”, the man says hesitantly.

Are you sure?” says the bank robber.

Absolutely”, says the man, “but I’m fairly certain my wife got a good look at you.

Funny jokes you can tell your colleagues at an office party3. The lawyer at the Pearly Gates:

A lawyer dies and finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St Peter.

St Peter looks at him and then says, “You’re a lawyer. I’m afraid you can’t come in here. There will be a place down below reserved for you.

However using all his courtroom know-how the lawyer pleads his case until eventually St Peter agrees to reconsider.

OK this is what I’ll do”, says St Peter. “You’ll spend the same amount of time in Hell as you did on Earth and then you can spend the rest of eternity up here in heaven.

Fair enough”, the lawyer responds.

Right then”, says St Peter, “we’ll see you again in three hundred and seventy five years.

Just a minute St Peter, what do you mean by three hundred and seventy five years?” says the lawyer, “I’m only sixty two!”

Yes, I know that”, says St Peter, “but up here we go by billing hours.

Please share the fun:

I hope you found these funny jokes you can tell your colleagues as funny as you’d hoped dear reader.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today then please share these jokes with all  your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

So go on, please do it now. I will be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.