21 witty one liners so good you'll laugh out loud

Now do you fancy a bit of a laugh?

Would you like something to make you smile?

You’d love a laugh but you don’t have the time to enjoy anything too long? Well fear not. It’s important you make at least a little time for a laugh. It will make you feel so much better.

So here are 21 witty one liners guaranteed to make you smile. They made me smile and I’m confident that at least a few of them will brighten your day too.

If you enjoy a laugh which is concise and razor-sharp then this collection of witty one liners is just for you dear reader. So go on have a laugh right now and enjoy them all.

Witty One Liners:

I think the worst thing about driving a time machine will be your kids in the back always moaning ‘Are we then yet?‘ ~Paul F Taylor
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.” ~Ian Smith
Crime in multi-storey car parks? That’s wrong on so many different levels. ~Tim Vine
As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog. ~Gary Delaney
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting! ~Stewart Francis
I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa. ~Rob Auton
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. ~Nick Helm
I’m not a very muscular man; the strongest thing about me is my password. ~Rory O’Keeffe
Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy? I hear you ask. ~Jordan Brookes
One thing you’ll never hear a Hindu say, ‘Ah well, you only live once’. ~Hardeep Singh Kohli
My Dad told me to invest my money in bonds. So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger. ~Nick Hall
If you arrive fashionably late in Crocs, you’re just late. ~Joel Dommett
People say I’ve got no willpower but I’ve quit smoking loads of times. ~Kai Humphries
My friend got a personal trainer a year before his wedding. I thought: ‘Bloody hell, how long’s the aisle going to be’. ~Paul McCaffrey
It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies but before you know it you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road. ~Olaf Falafel
I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’. ~Paddy Lennox
Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, ‘There’s a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him’. ~Carey Marx
What’s a couple?’ I asked my mum. She said, ‘Two or three’. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed ~Josie Long
I think the bravest thing I’ve ever done is misjudge how much shopping I want to buy and still not go back to get a basket. ~Stuart Laws
Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar, Demerara. ~Olaf Falafel
Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge? ~Dan Antolpolski

Please share with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post worth a few minutes of your time?

Perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

If you enjoyed this post then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

21 witty one liners so good you’ll laugh out loud

Witty One Liners:

Please share with your friends:

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

Trackbacks

Speak Your Mind Cancel reply

Recent Posts

Archives