17 quotes to inspire you to be all you can be

  1. quotes to inspire you to be all you can beThe only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. ~Steve Jobs
  2. Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. ~Samuel Johnson
  3. Every artist was first an amateur. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  4. Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. ~Dale Carnegie
  5. Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. ~Mark Twain
  6. You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. ~Christopher Columbus
  7. Use what talents you possess. The woods will be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry Van Dyke
  8. You are what you think about all day long. ~Dr. Robert Schuller
  9. The biggest mistake people make in life is not trying to make a living at doing what they most enjoy. ~Malcolm Forbes
  10. Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive. ~Howard Thurman
  11. Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. ~Mother Teresa
  12. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. ~Conrad Hilton
  13. That’s precisely the question everyone should be asking—why the hell not? Why not you, why not now? ~Timothy Ferriss
  14. The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour. ~Vince Lombardi
  15. It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. ~E.E. Cummings
  16. Do not let what you cannot do; interfere with what you can do. ~John Wooden
  17. Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. ~Henry Ford

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25 funny witty quotes that will seriously tickle you

Funny Witty QuotesI always get the best reaction with blog posts that are full of content to make you smile. That’s natural of course. After all, we all need a good laugh, don’t we? And funny witty quotes are particularly popular with readers.

With that in mind I’ve been trawling my personal journals looking for funny witty quotes which I’ve noted for posterity, and which I hope you’ll enjoy now, dear reader.

So, here are 25 funny witty quotes that I’m confident will tickle you. Certainly they tickled me.

They’re all by Authors Unknown but they’re razor-sharp and funny nevertheless.

So go on take a few minutes right now to have a laugh and enjoy them all.

Funny witty quotes:

  1. ‘Be yourself’ is the worst piece of advice you can give to some people.
  2. Some people just need a sympathetic pat on the head, with a hammer.
  3. HIM: How is it your single? HER: Surely you mean you’re?
  4. Arguing with a fool serves only to prove that there are two.
  5. Only dead fish go with the flow.
  6. The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t hold this much personality.
  7. Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you’re drunk.
  8. There are only two rules in life. No 1: Never ever give out all the information.
  9. You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid who acts just like you.
  10. If you have nothing to be grateful for check your pulse.
  11. Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.
  12. I’ve learned so much from my mistakes I’m thinking of making a few more.
  13. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
  14. We mature with damage, not with years.
  15. Life is short. So smile while you still have teeth.
  16. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
  17. Sarcasm is not an attitude. It’s an art.
  18. I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
  19. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
  20. The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Otherwise, watch out.
  21. The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humour.
  22. Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the privilege.
  23. If you don’t like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalk.
  24. If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving’s not for you.
  25. 129% of people exaggerate.

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Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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11 razor-sharp quotes from some of life’s greatest wits

Razor-sharp QuotesI love razor-sharp quotes, don’t you? I refer to those quotes that are both sharp and very funny, when you give them just a little thought.

Whenever I come across a sharp and witty quote, I always make a note of it in my journal. And today, as I’ve been going through my journal, I’ve picked out 11 razor-sharp quotes that I think are funny and I thought you might enjoy them too, dear reader.

They definitely made me smile, so I hope they brighten your day too. Enjoy them all.

Razor-sharp quotes:

  1. Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that’s what gets you. ~Jeremy Clarkson
  2. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. ~Oscar Wilde 
  3. I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business, but I was in the top one. ~Brian Clough
  4. The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. ~Dorothy Parker
  5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. ~WC Fields
  6. Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. ~Spike Milligan
  7. He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. ~Winston Churchill
  8. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ~Noel Coward
  9. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. ~Woody Allen
  10. A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth. ~George Bernard Shaw
  11. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. ~Mark Twain

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My philosophy on life and success: 18 Quotes by Roy Sutton

Quotes by Roy SuttonNow how many people have been searching for ‘Quotes by Roy Sutton‘? According to Google, not many it seems. Such is the life of a blogger.

However, believe it or not, a reader recently requested some quotes of mine that illustrate my own philosophy on life and success.

So, as I’m a blogger and my raison d’etre is to share my thoughts and ideas, I thought today I’d share some quotes to see what reaction I get from my wider readership.

These quotes certainly reflect my own philosophy on life, success and being the best you can be.

All of these are quotes I’ve shared originally on my Twitter feed (@RoyJosephSutton) essentially as micro-blog posts. In fact, these are the tweets for which I’ve received the most positive responses.

My hope is that if they’ve appealed to another audience then they might just appeal to regular readers of this blog.

As a blogger, you have to believe that you have something to say and you have to be willing to share what you have to say and accept feedback, both positive and negative.

So today I’m sharing my own philosophy with you, dear reader, and I hope at least some of these quotes will leave you feeling empowered to succeed.

Above all I hope you’ll find today’s quotes interesting and thought-provoking.

18 Quotes by Roy Sutton:

  1. Either life’s a great adventure or it’s nothing. So make it a great adventure and enjoy every minute. You only get to go around once. ~Roy Sutton
  2. Yesterday was full of lessons and tomorrow is an endless stream of opportunities. Use yesterday’s lessons to capitalise on tomorrow’s opportunities. You can be all you’d like to be and much more besides. ~Roy Sutton
  3. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Go boldly in the direction of your dreams and don’t stop until you get to where you want to be. ~Roy Sutton
  4. Never again will you be as young as you are today. So forget your age and focus on making the most of life whilst you still can. ~Roy Sutton
  5. Don’t be ashamed of all the challenges you’ve had to overcome. Your story can be an inspiration to others. You may have had it tough but you’re still here and you’ve not allowed yourself to be defeated. That makes you a role model. ~Roy Sutton
  6. Other peoples’ perception of you is none of your business. Don’t be limited by what others think. ~Roy Sutton
  7. No one is perfect. We’re all imperfect. So embrace your imperfections. They’re what make you different from the crowd. ~Roy Sutton
  8. Never fear having a go. Fear only that should you not try you’ll never know what might have been. ~Roy Sutton
  9. Money is simply the scorecard for the transfer of value between people in a society. ~Roy Sutton
  10. People believe what they want to believe, especially when they’re desperate. ~Roy Sutton
  11. We all have a role to play. On Spaceship Earth we’re all crew. We’re all here to make a contribution. What’s your contribution? ~Roy Sutton
  12. Everything involves risk, including not taking a risk. ~Roy Sutton
  13. Greatness is achieved by what you do, not what you say. Deeds will always beat words. ~Roy Sutton
  14. Hatred is fear’s ugly sister. ~Roy Sutton
  15. If you want something then you’ve got to give something in return. There’s always a price to be paid. Nothing’s for free. ~Roy Sutton
  16. Smile whilst you still have teeth! ~Roy Sutton
  17. Life’s too short to be unhappy. ~Roy Sutton
  18. You’ll never have today again. So enjoy it. ~Roy Sutton

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Here is some funny political satire with laughter guaranteed

Funny political satire In the times in which we now live, it seems that intelligent political debate is something from a bygone age.

Perhaps it never really existed at all.

However, the politically correct modern media has created a debate so lacking in intelligent and informed analysis that it has become completely pointless I think.

If you live in the United Kingdom dear reader, then an excellent example for me is the BBC’s Question Time. It may have a new host in Fiona Bruce but it’s still just a lot of hot air I think.

Essentially it’s just a carefully selected bunch of people with rigid views coupled with an inability to understand why others may think the way they do. And an unwillingness even to try.

I suppose that’s just the way it is nowadays.

Nevertheless, it’s not a complete loss to us all because it does offer fertile ground for comedy and funny political satire.

So if like me you think that the BBC’s Question Time has become a mess of evidence-free assertions, class warfare, soundbites and smugness then you might just enjoy this comedy sketch from Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse.

It’s very funny and for me they have truly nailed the nature of what passes for modern political debate.

It made me laugh and I hope it makes you smile too.

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3 short story funny jokes guaranteed to brighten your day

Short Story Funny JokesToday’s short story funny jokes

1. Surprise Party:

Jane had a craving for Heinz beans and unwisely consumed three plates of beans during lunch-break at work one day.

Now, on the day in question, it happened to be Jane’s birthday and when she got home from work her husband Jim, met her excitedly at the door.

Darling, I’ve got a surprise for dinner tonight,” said Jim.

And with that, he blindfolded Jane and led her by the hand, through the house, into the dining room and sat her down at the table.

As Jane sat down, and just as Jim was about to remove her blindfold, she heard the telephone ring in the hall.

Darling,” said Jim, “bear with me for a second whilst I answer the telephone but please, please don’t remove your blindfold until I get back. I want to video your reaction for posting on Facebook. No peeking!

Well, Jane was actually quite grateful for this fortunate interruption because those beans had started to percolate, generating intestinal gases within her that were building up a pressure of such magnitude that she felt like she was about to explode.

She reasoned that Jim would be gone for a few minutes, so she thought it would be safe to seize the opportunity to release this flatulence.

Release it she did and it was not only loud but it smelled like a surfeit of skunks in a garbage dump. It was a truly awful smell.

However, the relief for Jane was instant, and she quickly used her napkin to fan the air vigorously in the hope that the gas would be dispersed by the time Jim returned.

Well, unfortunately, her gas problem didn’t end there and Jane was forced to release several more minor, intestinal explosions, the smell of which was just unimaginably bad.

However, for Jane, the pleasure of releasing all this gas pressure was indescribable. It was just such a relief, so she wafted her napkin as quickly as possible in a desperate attempt to improve the air quality in the dining room before Jim returned.

Within a few minutes Jim did return, apologising profusely for his absence.

I hope you’ve not been peeking, whilst I’ve been away,” Jim said playfully.

Jane was quick to confirm she hadn’t.

At this point, Jim removed her blindfold, only to reveal that they were accompanied by 12 dinner guests all seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, as they shouted, “Happy Birthday, Jane!

2. Strange Bar:

Jake walked into a Manhattan bar and he sits down at the counter.

He then says to the bartender, “Hey buddy, where can I get some cigarettes?

There’s a cigarette machine over there in the corner by the john,” the bartender replies.

So Jake walks over to the machine and just as he’s about to select his preferred brand of cigarettes, the machine says, “Hey, you’re a freakin’ idiot!

Jake is stunned momentarily. Then he thinks, “That’s really not very nice!” So he returns to the counter without any cigarettes.

As he sits on his stool again, he asks the bartender for some peanuts in an attempt to distract himself from his craving for a smoke.

The bartender passes him a bowl of peanuts and, as he does so, Jake hears one of the peanuts say, “Hey buddy, I like the way you’ve styled your hair.

So Jake says to the bartender, “Hey man, this place is weird. Your cigarette machine insults me and then the peanuts are coming on to me. What is this?

The bartender smiles and replies, “Oh, that’s because the cigarette machine is out of order and the peanuts are complimentary,

Short Story Funny Jokes3. Admission to the Kingdom of Heaven:

Music legend, Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth, the UK’s longest-serving monarch, sadly pass away on exactly the same day.

They find themselves standing together at the Pearly Gates in front of St Peter.

St Peter studiously reviews his cloud-connected, tablet computer momentarily before saying, “Ladies, I have some bad news for you I’m afraid. We’ve had a lot of admissions to Heaven today, so there’s only one place left. Therefore I must ask you both to give me one good reason why you should be the one to take that place. And of course, the best reason will get the place.”

These two ladies glance at each other briefly and then Dolly opens her blouse quickly to reveal her very impressive assets.

She then says to St Peter, “These are the finest in Creation and I’m confident the Lord would want the opportunity to admire the results of his excellent work each and every day for eternity.

Thank you, Dolly,” says St Peter. He then looks at Her Royal Highness, the Queen and says, “Your Majesty, what’s your reason?

Now, right next to the Pearly Gates is a restroom for the convenience not only of St Peter himself but also for every soul standing in line awaiting a decision as to whether they’ll be admitted to Heaven.

Her Royal Highness says absolutely nothing in response to St Peter’s question but she walks into the restroom and flushes the toilet.

She then returns to stand next to Dolly and await St Peter’s decision.

St Peter spends a moment considering the matter and he then says, “Your Majesty, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Naturally, Dolly is less than happy with his decision.

Now just hold it a minute there fella!” says Dolly. “I reveal the finest pair ever created and all she does is flush the john.  And then she gets admitted? How can that be right?”

St Peter smiles at Dolly and says, “I understand why you’re not happy Dolly but you must accept that even in Heaven a Royal Flush beats a pair.

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33 hilarious cheesy pick-up lines to make you smile

Pick-up LinesWe’ve all been there at some point in our lives, particularly when we’re young.

We’re in a bar or a club and we see someone attractive, who we’d like to get to know a little bit better.

The weapon of choice in such situations is the pick-up or chat-up line as a conversation opener with the intent of engaging that person in the hope that it may lead to a date or even romance.

Sadly there are not many pick-up lines that we can truly look back on with pride though.

Here are 33 hilarious but very cheesy pick-up lines that may not stand the test of time but certainly they’ll make you smile right now. Enjoy them all.

Pick-Up Lines:

  1. Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
  2. Are you Yoda? Because Yodalicious.
  3. Your hand looks heavy can I hold it for you?
  4. Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
  5. Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper!
  6. Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  7. Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
  8. Hello, you’re so hot a firefighter couldn’t put you out.
  9. I must be in a museum because you’re a work of art.
  10. You’re so lovely, you make me wanna go out and get a job
  11. Hi, I’m writing a phone book. Can I have your number?
  12. I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.
  13. Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be pretty cute.
  14. I’m not a photographer but I can picture me and you together.
  15. Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
  16. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  17. I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
  18. Was your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
  19. I’m not a hoarder but I really want to keep you forever.
  20. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  21. Can I follow you? Because my mom told me to follow my dreams
  22. You must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet.
  23. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
  24. I heard you’re good at algebra. Can you replace my X without asking Y
  25. Do you have a band-aid? Because I scraped my knees falling for you.
  26. You really shouldn’t wear makeup. You’re messing with perfection!
  27. I may not be the best looking guy here but I’m the only one talking to you.
  28. Would you grab my arm, so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
  29. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
  30. Do you know if there are any police around here? Cause I’m about to steal your heart.
  31. You look familiar. Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.
  32. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I’m willing to make an exception in your case.
  33. Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

Pick-up Lines

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33 irony and sarcasm quotes subtly conveying contempt

Irony and SarcasmPeople! When they get too much, there are times when we all need to use a little irony and sarcasm for subtly conveying contempt.

We can’t live without people of course but they do drive us all nuts at times too, or is that just me?

Actually I love people. Well, most of the time anyway.

However, I also like to have my little stock of sarcastic remarks, retorts and put-downs ready to use when I need them. And occasionally we all need them, don’t we?

So today I thought I’d share with you 33 irony and sarcasm quotes which subtly convey contempt.

Read them. Enjoy them. I hope some of them make you smile.

And if you’re ever in a situation that warrants a biting comeback then you’ll be well-prepared. I hope so anyway.

Irony and sarcasm for subtly conveying contempt:

  1. You go, girl! And please don’t come back.
  2. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  3. Those who laugh last think slowest.
  4. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than your absence.
  5. It’s obvious that in your profession being stupid is not a handicap.
  6. Look I’m really busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  7. Is being stupid your profession or are you simply gifted that way?
  8. If you’re ever given the keys to the City then the City will need to change the locks.
  9. How is it that when you see light at the end of the tunnel you always manage to extend the tunnel?
  10. If ignorance is bliss then you should be the happiest guy on the planet.
  11. To err is human but to blame it on others now that’s the art of politics.
  12. I’d say something polite but that might encourage you to hang around and that would be more than I could bear.
  13. They said this was a job anyone could do and now I’ve met you I know that to be true.
  14. You’re living proof that inability is not necessarily a liability in the job market.
  15. Irony and SarcasmI didn’t vote for you, I voted to stop your opponent gaining power.
  16. Sorry for the pause but I was trying to imagine you with a personality.
  17. When you say something worth hearing I’ll listen but I doubt that’ll happen any time soon.
  18. Look I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you. You’ve got to do some of the heavy lifting yourself.
  19. My opinion offended you? You should hear the opinions I keep to myself.
  20. I do try to see things from your point of view but your point of view is so stupid.
  21. If what I said is a problem for you then perhaps you could write it down on a piece of paper and then shove that piece of paper up your ass.
  22. You’re reading that book to look good, surely? Certainly, as far as I can tell, you lack the brains to understand it.
  23. You’re one of those people who manage to spread a little misery wherever you go.
  24. I’d enlighten you if I could but I’m not a magician.
  25. You’re living proof that light travels faster than sound. You appeared quite bright until I heard what you said.
  26. It wasn’t my intention to offend you when I called you stupid. I just assumed you knew that already.
  27. Are you really that stingy or do you just have extremely short arms and very deep pockets?
  28. If laughter is the best medicine then your face is the cure for every illness known to man.
  29. I’m not listening but please keep talking. Why wouldn’t I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed?
  30. Not all girls are made from sugar and spice and everything nice. Some are made from sarcasm and wine and everything fine.
  31. You may lack the power of conversation but unfortunately, you don’t lack the power of speech.
  32. If it looked like I give a damn then allow me to apologize for giving you the wrong impression.
  33. I’m not sarcastic by nature; I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

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11 great one-liner jokes that will make your toes curl

Here are another 11 one-liners brought to my attention by readers over the past few weeks and which I thought I’d share with you.

I can’t be sure of their origins but they all made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too dear reader.

These are great one-liner jokes that will make your toes curl I’m sure. I hope so anyway. Enjoy them all.

Great one-liner jokes:

  1. A girl’s thoughts when she starts dating a guy – Date #1: That’s a really nice shirt. Date #2: Wow. That’s another nice shirt. Date #3: That’s the shirt he wore on our first date. Date #4: OK, he’s only got two decent shirts.
  2. The four sweetest words you can use when people didn’t listen to you? I told you so!
  3. My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I definitely laugh more.
  4. I prefer living in the past. At least the cost of housing was much cheaper.
  5. Military personnel can be charged for losing equipment. In the army you’ll pay $150 for losing your rifle. That explains why, in the Navy, a captain will always go down with his ship.
  6. I gave my wife the silent treatment for an entire week. At the end of it she said to me, “It’s been nice this week, we’ve really been getting on well.”
  7. There’s a new support group for compulsive talkers. It’s called On Anon.
  8. I’ve just found the worst page in my dictionary. The content is disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, disingenuous and disreputable.
  9. Why bother keeping up with the Joneses when you could drag them down to your level. Surely it’s less expensive that way?
  10. For Christmas or birthdays, buy your kids a set of batteries and just put a note inside saying “Toys not included.”
  11. My favourite hobby is going down to the beach and burying metal objects that have the words “Get a Life” inscribed on them.

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So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these great one-liner jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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3 funny story jokes that’ll make you chuckle

Funny Story JokesHow to impress the girl of your dreams:

Young Josh is a 16-year-old, shy and socially awkward guy constantly dreaming of dating a girl, like most young men of his age.

As luck would have it the real object of his affections lives right next door to him. Her name’s Charlene, she’s slim, attractive, cultured and perfectly poised.

However poor Josh is a little too bashful to engage her in conversation.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop him watching her dreamily from his bedroom window as she wanders across her yard each morning to use the toilet.

One day Josh’s father notices him watching Charlene from his bedroom window.

Josh if you like the girl, why not say hello to her?” says his Dad.

Oh Dad, I’m not very good at talking to girls, I never quite know what to say to them”, Josh responds.

Look son”, says his dad, “girls just like you to take an interest in them and what they’ve been doing. Just ask her about what she’s been doing.

The following day Josh sees Charlene wander across her yard, heading towards the john at the end of her garden.

Desperate to impress her and thinking he’s spotted an ideal opportunity to follow his Dad’s advice, Josh rushes outside to catch her attention as she’s returning to the house.

Encouraged when Charlene flashes him a smile, Josh is convinced that this is his opportunity impress to her.

And then he hears himself say, “Been taking a dump then, Charlene?

Funny Story JokesThe man and the penguins:

Police officer Maguire is sitting in his patrol car by the side of the freeway when he sees a guy drive past him in a pickup truck which is full of penguins.

With blue lights flashing, Officer Maguire chases after the pickup truck and he pulls the guy over.

Sir, you do know that penguins are a protected species and you can’t drive them around like this in this town?” says Officer Maguire. “I suggest you take them to the zoo.

Having given the guy a polite warning, Officer Maguire then lets him go on his way.

The very next day Officer Maguire is in his patrol car again when he sees the same man still driving around with the penguins and this time they’re all wearing sunglasses.

So Officer Maguire pulls the guy over once again and he says to him, “Hey buddy, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo yesterday.

I did”, the man replies, “and today I’m taking them to the beach.

Funny Story JokesChildren and their teacher:

It’s the end of the school year and the popular kindergarten teacher is receiving gifts from the children in her class.

She asks them to each bring their gift to the front, one at a time.

First up is the florist’s son. He proudly hands her his neatly wrapped gift and she thanks him and smiles.

She then gives the gift a little shake, holds it above her head momentarily and then says, “I bet I know what this is. Some flowers?

That’s right”, says the boy, “but how did you know?

Oh, it’s just a lucky guess“, says the teacher.

The next child to offer a gift is the sweet shop owner’s daughter.

Once again the teacher gives the gift a little shake, holds it above her head momentarily and then says, “I bet I know what this is. It’s a box of sweets?

That’s right”, says the little girl, “but how did you know?

Oh, it’s just a lucky guess“, says the teacher.

The next child to offer a gift is the son of the liquor store owner.

As before the teacher holds the gift-wrapped package above her head momentarily but it’s leaking.

So she touches a drop of the slightly yellow liquid with her finger and then touches her finger on her tongue.

Is it a Chardonnay?” asks the teacher.

No!” the boy replies, a little excited in anticipation of her response.

Once again the teacher touches the leaking, yellowy liquid with her finger and then touches her finger on her tongue.

Perhaps it’s Champagne?” she suggests.

No!” the boy replies, even more excited than before.

So the teacher has one more quick taste of the liquid before saying, “Alright then, I give up, you’ve got me on his one. What is it?

With a beaming smile and great excitement, the boy says, “It’s a puppy!

Please share the fun:

So for you dear reader, did these funny story jokes make you laugh?

I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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