15 Quotes by Penny Marshall

Penny MarshallThe late film director, producer and actress Penny Marshall was a great talent and I’m sure she’s missed by all who knew her well.

Penny Marshall rose to fame in the 1970s with her role in the hit US television sitcom Laverne & Shirley.

Playing the role of Laverne DeFazio, she was funny and she created a character that has proved to be one of the standout comedy characters from the golden age of situation comedy.

If you’re not familiar with Laverne & Shirley then you can purchase this sitcom on DVD from Amazon. Alternatively there are plenty of clips available on YouTube to give you an idea of how good it was back in the day.

You might also find this ABC News tribute to Penny Marshall well worth a couple of minutes of your time:-

In recent years there has been an improvement in the availability of opportunities for women, particularly in show-business. And that’s how it should be of course.

However we have to admire those strong and talented women from previous generations who managed to succeed at their chosen profession, despite a system that was rigged against them. And in Penny Marshall women had a great role model.

She managed to become a successful director of films, an area of entertainment which is still heavily dominated by men to this day.

She was clearly a very smart lady. So here are 15 quotes by Penny Marshall which reflect her personal philosophy.

Quotes by Penny Marshall:

  1. I think everyone’s mother is slightly nuts. ~Penny Marshall
  2. My family is well and that’s what’s important. ~Penny Marshall
  3. I want you to laugh and cry. That’s what I do. ~Penny Marshall
  4. I wasn’t like a girly girl. I was a tomboy. ~Penny Marshall
  5. If you’re not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life. ~Penny Marshall
  6. I have a strange combination of fearlessness and massive insecurity. ~Penny Marshall
  7. In my opinion, life’s more important than show business. ~Penny Marshall
  8. When I’m working, I’m obsessively working. ~Penny Marshall
  9. I do feel it’s important to entertain people. I try to. ~Penny Marshall
  10. The truth is that I’m not a frump. I just enjoy being laid back. ~Penny Marshall
  11. I would much rather feel comfortable and feel beautiful, than to feel uncomfortable, but look fantastic. ~Penny Marshall
  12. Once I commit to something, I complete it. If I say ‘No,’ I mean ‘No.’ I just have to learn how to say ‘No’ more. ~Penny Marshall
  13. I’ll try anything. What are they gonna do, kick me out of show business? ~Penny Marshall
  14. Movie stars are insecure like everyone else. That’s why they go into acting! ~Penny Marshall
  15. Look at YouTube, how many talented people there are. It’s a whole new world of how to express yourself. I don’t know how to work that world, but take advantage of it. ~Penny Marshall

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

15 Quotes by Phyllis Diller

Quotes by Phyllis DillerThe late Phyllis Ada Driver or Phyllis Diller as she was better known was one of America’s greatest comic talents.

She was an actress and stand-up comedienne with an eccentric stage persona.

Self-deprecating humor was her stock in trade, together with wild hair, zany clothes and an exaggerated, cackling laugh.

Phyllis Diller was a very funny lady and one who is greatly missed by fans of good comedy everywhere.

So today I thought it might be quite interesting to explore some of her quotes and observations.

Quotes by Phyllis Diller:

Here are 15 quotes by Phyllis Diller which should make you smile.

  1. You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors! ~Phyllis Diller
  2. The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. ~Phyllis Diller
  3. You know you’re old if they’ve discontinued your blood type. ~Phyllis Diller
  4. I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’ ~Phyllis Diller
  5. Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in. ~Phyllis Diller
  6. The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day. ~Phyllis Diller
  7. Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea. ~Phyllis Diller
  8. Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. ~Phyllis Diller
  9. I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along but it was easy. He was the only one that came along. ~Phyllis Diller
  10. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. ~Phyllis Diller
  11. This woman goes into a gun shop and says, ‘I want to buy a gun for my husband.’ The clerk says, ‘Did he tell you what kind of gun?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him. ~Phyllis Diller
  12. Life is a do-it-yourself kit; so do it yourself. Work. Practice. ~Phyllis Diller
  13. Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, ‘I’ll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,’ never ends in a hug and a kiss. ~Phyllis Diller
  14. This man I was going out with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas but he gave me a bowling ball. ~Phyllis Diller
  15. To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do. ~Phyllis Diller

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You did? I hope so anyway.

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21 very corny jokes that will cheer you up guaranteed

Life can be stressful for everyone so it’s important that we all laugh every day.

To help you with that I’ve been collecting more very corny jokes. These all made me smile and I hope they will make you smile too.

Unfortunately, despite best efforts, it hasn’t been possible to identify the original authors of these very corny jokes, so for the moment they remain ‘Author Unknown‘.

However if you’re able to help with that, do let me know. My aim always is to acknowledge the work of others when it is possible.

So here they are, 21 very corny jokes that will cheer you up guaranteed.

Very Corny Jokes:

1. What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

2. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

3. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against each other?

Juan on Juan.

4. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?

It was craving a well-balanced meal.

5. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?

You’re looking a little pail.

6. What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here and I’ll go on ahead.

7. How does a duck buy lipstick?

She just puts it on her bill.

8. What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park your car, man.

9. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?

Make a seizure salad.

10. Why was the poor guy selling yeast?

To raise some dough.

11. Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?

His mummy.

12. How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

13. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He could feel his presents.

14. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.

Do not read it!

15. Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

16. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on?

Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.

17. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad away.

18. How come oysters never donate to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

19. Why did the pig leave the party early?

Because everyone thought he was a boar.

20. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because there’s no point.

21. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke.

Thank goodness it was a soft drink.

Please share these very corny jokes:

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Share the fun and everyone wins.

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And if you fancy some more laughs then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

15 Quotes by George Orwell

Quotes by George OrwellGeorge Orwell was the pen name of the late author Eric Arthur Blair.

As George Orwell he was and he still is widely respected as a novelist, essayist, journalist and critic.

In fact he was arguably one of the great thinkers of the twentieth century, certainly in the English-speaking world.

George Orwell’s best known novels Animal Farm and 1984 are still essential reading for anyone with aspirations of being well-read.

So here are 15 quotes by George Orwell that are I think guaranteed to make you think dear reader.

Quotes by George Orwell:

  1. Big Brother is watching you. ~George Orwell
  2. At fifty everyone has the face he deserves. ~George Orwell
  3. No one can look back on his schooldays and say with truth that they were altogether unhappy. ~George Orwell
  4. If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. ~George Orwell
  5. In our age there is no such thing as keeping out of politics. All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia. ~George Orwell
  6. Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. ~George Orwell
  7. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. ~George Orwell
  8. Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. ~George Orwell
  9. People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. ~George Orwell
  10. But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. ~George Orwell
  11. So much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don’t even know that fire is hot. ~George Orwell
  12. All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting. ~George Orwell
  13. Society has always to demand a little more from human beings than it will get in practice. ~George Orwell
  14. Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper. ~George Orwell
  15. Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting. ~George Orwell

Check out George Orwell’s work:

Did you find these quotes interesting?

If you’re unfamiliar with George Orwell’s work you would do well to check it out. He is one of the greatest writers of all time in my opinion.

If you would like to explore the work of George Orwell further then both Animal Farm and 1984 are well worth reading, if you’ve not read them already.

Alternatively you can explore other books by George Orwell on the Amazon website HERE.

DISCLOSURE: Please be aware that this website is an Amazon affiliate. Should you click on any of the links to Amazon and then make a purchase, you should know that this website will receive a small commission. These commissions serve only to cover the cost of maintaining this site and you’ll be helping to keep it free for every user. Your understanding is truly appreciated dear reader. Thank you.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

5 truly inspirational quotes

Truly Inspirational QuotesWe can all use a little inspiration occasionally, I’m sure you’ll agree dear reader. So here are what I beleive to be 5 truly inspirational quotes.

Truly Inspirational Quotes:

Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid. ~Bernard Meltzer

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. ~Helen Keller

In a president, character is everything. A president doesn’t have to be brilliant. He doesn’t have to be clever; you can hire clever. You can hire pragmatic, and you can buy and bring in policy wonks. But you can’t buy courage and decency. You can’t rent a strong moral sense. A president must bring those things with him. He needs to have, in that much maligned word, but a good one nonetheless, a vision of the future he wishes to create. But a vision is worth little if a president doesn’t have the character – the courage and heart – to see it through.  ~Peggy Noonan

If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~Mary Pickford

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them and every day begin the task anew. ~Saint Francis de Sales

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15 Quotes by Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx, born Julius Henry Marx, was an American comedian, writer, stage, film, radio and television star and part of the successful and immensely popular comedy act known as The Marx Brothers.

Groucho was known for his quick wit and he is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era.

With his siblings the Marx Brothers, Groucho Marx made 13 feature films but he also had a successful solo career in radio and television.

Here are 15 quotes by Groucho Marx which illustrate his quick wit.

Quotes by Groucho Marx:

  1. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you’ve got it made. ~Groucho Marx
  2. I intend to live forever, or die trying. ~Groucho Marx
  3. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. ~Groucho Marx
  4. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. ~Groucho Marx
  5. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. ~Groucho Marx
  6. No man goes before his time, unless the boss leaves early. ~Groucho Marx
  7. Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others. ~Groucho Marx
  8. I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ~Groucho Marx
  9. Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. ~Groucho Marx
  10. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. ~Groucho Marx
  11. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ~Groucho Marx
  12. There’s one way to find out if a man is honest, ask him. If he says, yes, you know he’s a crook. ~Groucho Marx
  13. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. ~Groucho Marx
  14. Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me? ~Groucho Marx
  15. Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? ~Groucho Marx

Marx Brothers Movies:

Younger readers may not have experienced the joy of the comedy from Groucho Marx and the Marx Brothers. Whilst it may be from to another era, it’s still extremely funny and it is worth checking out if you get the opportunity.

Actually the work of Groucho Marx and the Marx Brothers is still available on Amazon. So you can check it out HERE.

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You did? I hope so anyway.

If that is the case then please share them with your friends because when you share everyone wins.

So share them now on social media. If you can do that for me then it will be truly appreciated. Thank you.

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DISCLOSURE: Please be aware that this website is an Amazon affiliate. Should you click on any of the links to Amazon and then make a purchase, you should know that this website will receive a small commission. These commissions serve only to cover the cost of maintaining this site and you’ll be helping to keep it free for every user. Your understanding is truly appreciated dear reader. Thank you.

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

21 thought-provoking quotes about relationships

People; often we feel that we can’t live with them but we can’t live without them either.

While they can be frustrating we are social animals, so we need people and relationships.

The more we understand about relationships the more likely we’ll be in a position to form and sustain successful relationships.

Hence today’s blog post with 21 thought-provoking quotes about relationships to help you ponder and improve your understanding of one of life’s trickier aspects.

Now some people struggle to form successful relationships, whilst others seem to enjoy perfect relationships all the time. Well don’t be fooled by appearances.

All relationships can be tricky because we all have this romantic notion about what the perfect relationship should look like. That notion may be romantic but it’s also inaccurate.

Perfect relationships don’t exist.

Consequently relationships take time, effort and compromise. We must work at them constantly to keep them healthy and beneficial.

Furthermore we must recognise that for a relationship to work it must be balanced. The dynamics within the relationship must be in equilibrium.

By that I mean that within any relationship both parties must feel their needs are being met.

Where the dynamic within a relationship favours one side or the other then this breeds resentment and frustration. That in turn results in friction and disharmony within the relationship, which can be damaging of course.

No one can have it all their own way all the time. Compromise is essential.

However compromise shouldn’t be to the point whereby you’re actively working against your own interests.

It would never make sense to do anything that works against our own interests. If we don’t look after our own interests, then no one else will.

So here are those 21 thought-provoking quotes about relationships, I hope you find them interesting dear reader.

Quotes about relationships:

  1. A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up. ~Mae West
  2. When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said. ~Catherine Gilbert Murdock
  3. When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. ~Donald Miller
  4. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you are special too. ~Ernest Hemingway
  5. For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first. ~Suzanne Collins
  6. Cheating and lying aren’t struggles; they’re reasons to break up. ~Patti Callahan Henry
  7. I suffer from girl-next-door-itis where the guy is friends with you and that’s it. ~Taylor Swift
  8. I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me. ~Steve Maraboli
  9. Relationships don’t always make sense, especially from the outside. ~Sarah Dessen
  10. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike. ~JK Rowling
  11. It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favourite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party. ~Nick Hornby
  12. The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. ~CG Jung
  13. There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love. ~Shmuley Boteach
  14. Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys. ~Nicholas Sparks
  15. I know enough to know that no woman should ever marry a man who hated his mother. ~Martha Gellhorn
  16. People like to say love is unconditional, but it’s not, and even if it was unconditional, it’s still never free. There’s always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won’t be happy unless you are. I just don’t want that responsibility. ~Katja Millay
  17. To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect. ~Criss Jami
  18. Every couple have their ups and downs, every couple argues and that’s the thing; you’re a couple and couples can’t function without trust. ~Nicholas Sparks
  19. If a girl starts out all casual with a guy and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a relationship, it will never become a relationship. If you give the guy the impression that casual is okay with you, then that’s all he’ll ever want. Be straight with him from the start. If he gets scared and runs away, he wasn’t right for you. ~Susane Colasanti
  20. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. ~Bill Maher
  21. What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else. ~Stephanie Klein

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

15 funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile

Here is another batch of funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile.

Once again I’ve been searching to find the best smiles I can find just to brighten your day dear reader. I’ve done the hard work, so you don’t have to.

So sit back, relax and enjoy them all. I hope you enjoy these funny one-liners just as much as I did.

And don’t forget your friends.

If you enjoyed these smiles then your friends probably will too.

So please share this post with your friends on social media. You’ll be a hero or heroine and everyone will appreciate your thoughtfulness for sharing.

You can’t lose, so please share them now but not before you’ve enjoyed today’s smiles.

Funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile:-

  1. Never tell your secrets in a cornfield. There are too many ears
  2. Never give up on your dreams. Stay in bed and sleep on.
  3. I used to work as an origami teacher but I hated it. There was too much paperwork.
  4. They’ve just opened a new restaurant Downtown. It’s called Karma and they don’t have a menu. You just get what you deserve.
  5. Our local farmer has started feeding his cows with birdseed. That would explain why the milk is going cheep.
  6. There’s a store on Main Street where you can get dead batteries free of charge.
  7. Why is everything delivered by ship called a cargo and yet if it’s delivered by a van it’s called a shipment?
  8. Change your password to incorrect and then if you can’t quite remember it, your computer will say your password is incorrect.
  9. My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car using spaghetti. Her face was a picture when I drove pasta.
  10. A man delivers a load of bubble wrap. “Where do you want this he asks?” “Oh, just pop it in the corner” was the reply.
  11. A police recruit was asked during his exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He answered “Call for backup.”
  12. I was amused to read the epitaph on the late dentist’s gravestone. It read “He’s now filling his last cavity.
  13. Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.
  14. Why are ghosts always bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
  15. What would you call someone with just a nose and no body? Nobody knows.

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So did these funny one-liners prove to be as funny as you’d hoped dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

25 rib-tickling jokes that are laugh out loud funny

Here’s another batch of short but laugh our loud funny jokes for you dear reader. I hope they give you a few minutes of pleasure to brighten your day.

Today’s laugh out loud funny jokes:

  • If I’m nobody;
  • And nobody’s perfect;
  • Then I must be perfect.
  • Why are frogs so happy?
  • They eat whatever bugs them.
  • How do you befriend a squirrel?
  • Act like a nut.
  • Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
  • Because they kept dropping their trunks.
  • What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
  • A chilly dog.
  • What do call you a row of bunnies moving backwards?
  • A receding hare line.
  • Why was the pediatrician always losing his temper?
  • Because he had little patients.
  • What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel it’s good enough?
  • Impasta syndrome.
  • Would you like to hear a joke about construction?
  • I’m still working on it.
  • I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
    He cried and gave me a big hug.
  • My wife was complaining that I never take her anywhere expensive.
  • So I said, “Come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station.”
  • They say 40 is the new 30
  • But try telling that to a traffic cop.
  • Relationships are like algebra.
  • You look at your X and wonder Y.
  • What did the green grape say to the purple grape!
  • BREATH!
  • What do you call a magic dog?
  • A labracadabrador.
  • You could say it was an emotional wedding.
  • Even the cake was in tears.
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes?
  • No eye deer.
  • A guy assaulted me with milk, cream and butter.
  • How dairy.
  • My ex-wife still misses me.
  • But her aim’s improving.
  • I own a pencil once owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
  • Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
  • People didn’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
  • So I decided to raise the bar.
  • The World Tongue-Twister Champion was up before the judge in court.
  • I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.
  • I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
  • It’s a complex complex complex.
  • I hate insects puns.
  • They really bug me.
  • I’ve been trying to lose weight.
  • But it keeps finding me.

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So did these rib-tickling jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

The 30 best bitchy comments that’ll really make you smile

Bitchy CommentsLadies, do you ever find yourself in need of some bitchy comments?

Gentlemen, do you have need for a quiver full of little arrows to pierce even the hardest heart?

Having the right comment to respond on those occasions when you need to put someone firmly in their place?

For those occasions when you need to send out a message that says, you mess with me at your peril.

Well here are 30 great bitchy comments, all of which really made me smile.

Bitchy Comments:

  1. You’re wearing that dress for a bet, surely?
  2. She’s not a drinker but she certainly likes a whine.
  3. I don’t need your drama. Go bother someone else.
  4. Hey, balls just called. They want you to grow a pair.
  5. I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you right now.
  6. I’m not responsible for what my face does when you talk.
  7. There are two things I dislike about you girl. Your face!
  8. Yes I am crazy and you’d be unwise to mess with crazy.
  9. Being opinionated is not the same as being informed dear.
  10. OMG! She’s really been bit with the ugly stick, hasn’t she?
  11. Nice dress! Where did you buy it, Dick’s Sporting Goods?
  12. I’ve met some pricks in my time but you’re the full cactus.
  13. I try to see the best in people but you certainly make it hard.
  14. You’re upset with me? So what! I don’t exist just to please you.
  15. I may have multiple personalities but none of them like you.
  16. Oh, there’s a new man in your life. Does he still have his own hair?
  17. If you want to lose weight girl, you could always shave your legs.
  18. What you think of me can’t be half as bad as my opinion of you.
  19. I’d say something complimentary about you but I’m not that dishonest.
  20. I don’t hate you but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
  21. You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think.
  22. I’m as nice as the next girl until life forces me to unleash the Bitch.
  23. You remind me of a penny. Two faced and not worth much.
  24. I’d beat you with a hammer but you’re not worth the jail time.
  25. You’re such a fake I’m guessing you were made in China.
  26. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your comprehension.
  27. Feel free to judge me when you’re perfect. Oh, that would be never then.
  28. No, I didn’t intend to offend you. That was just a bonus for which I’m grateful.
  29. Don’t hate me because I’m attractive. Hate me because my boobs are bigger than yours.
  30. Leave sarcasm to the professionals, sweetie. You’ll get hurt if you play with fire.

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Thank you.

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