Few things in life can beat a good laugh. One thing that is better is making your friends laugh. So if you’re looking for some funny jokes to tell your friends, then today I offer you four of them which I’m confident will raise a smile or two.
So take a few moments to enjoy them and then feel free to on-pass them on to others.
It’s always good to share the smiles.
Funny jokes to tell your friends:
1. The Chapel of Rest:
When I was about seven years old, my father took me to the local funeral parlour, as he wanted to pay his respects to an old work colleague who’d recently died.
This was a man I’d never met but it was important to my father and he thought it would be a good life experience for me to accompany him.
As we waited our turn to view the open casket, I sat quietly in a corner, waiting for the time to pass.
Suddenly, the door to the Chapel of Rest opened and an elderly man I’d never met came out and, as he did so, he smiled at me and said, “Make sure you enjoy your life son. Be happy because it’ll all go by in the blink of an eye. Look at me, I didn’t and now it’s too late.”
With that, the man disappeared through the door onto the street and it was our turn to view the body and pay our respects.
We walked solemnly into the Chapel of Rest and I looked into the open casket.
I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it. The body in the casket was the man who’d just spoken to me.
Well, I was utterly traumatized by the experience. I had nightmares and I was terrified to be alone. I couldn’t sleep without the light on for several years.
It got so bad I had to go for psychotherapy and counselling.
As I got older, gradually I began to cope a bit better, until one day I discovered something that completely changed my life.
I learned that my father’s dead colleague had an identical twin brother.
2. The Driving Test:
Jane arrived home, having just taken her Driving Test for the ninth time.
Naturally, her husband Bill was keen to know how she’d got on this time.
“So honey, how did it go this time?” Bill asked.
“Not good,” Jane responded. “They failed me again.”
“Really?” said Bill, sounding disappointed for her. “What did they pull you up on this time?”
“A rope,” Jane responded, sheepishly.
“A rope?” Bill inquired, looking slightly puzzled.
“Yes, that’s how they got me out,” Jane responded. “The car’s still in the river.”
3. The Infertility Problem:
A farmer went into a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman sitting next to him at the counter said, “Well, how about that? I just ordered champagne, too!”
“What a coincidence,” the farmer responded. “This is a really special day for me, so I’m celebrating!”
“Well, this is a really special day for me too, so I’m celebrating as well,” the woman replied.
“What a coincidence!” said the farmer. As they clinked glasses in celebration the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating, mam?”
“My husband and I have been trying to have a baby,” said the woman, “and my gynaecologist has just confirmed that I’m pregnant!”
“What a coincidence!” said the farmer. “I’m a chicken farmer and my hens were infertile all last year, but today they are all laying eggs!”
“Wow, that’s great!” said the woman. “So, how did your chickens suddenly become fertile?”
“I used a different cock,” replied the farmer.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass again and said, “What a coincidence!”
4. The Confessional Booth:
Father Murphy was taking confessions when a teenage boy entered the confessional booth.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” said the youth, “I have been with a girl of loose morals.”
“Is that you, young Jimmy Walsh,” Father Murphy inquired.
“Yes Father, it is,” young Jimmy responded.
“And you, an altar boy! I’m disappointed in you Jimmy,” said Father Murphy. “Who is this young girl?”
“Oh Father, I don’t want to get her a bad reputation,” said Jimmy, defensively.
“Was it Bernadette Kelly?” Father Murphy inquired.
“No Father,” said Jimmy.
“Was it Patricia O’Connor?” Father Murphy continued.
“No Father,” said Jimmy.
“Was it Teresa O’Sullivan?” Father Murphy pressed on.
“Father, I cannot give you her name. It wouldn’t be fair,” said Jimmy.
“Well, I admire your loyalty to this girl Jimmy, but you’ve sinned and if you insist on remaining tight-lipped, then you must accept your penance,” Father Murphy responded.
“And what will that be, Father?” Jimmy asked.
“You’re barred from serving as an altar boy again for three months.” Father Murphy responded, sternly.
Young Jimmy walked back to the pew slowly and as he sat down, his friend Rory whispered, “How did it go?”
“The plan worked like a charm,” Jimmy responded with a smile. “Three months off and three great leads.”
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