9 funny short story jokes to make you laugh

06/27/2025 by

If you’re looking for some funny short story jokes to make you laugh, then I think I have nine excellent ones for you today, dear reader.

If you love a good laugh, then I’m confident some of these will tickle your fancy.

So grab a coffee, relax and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

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Funny short story jokes to make you laugh:

1. The funeral cortège:

Bill was walking along Main Street when he saw a funeral cortège, so he stopped for a moment as a mark of respect.

He noticed that there were two hearses with coffins in the cortège, and the procession was being followed by a man walking solemnly with a pit bull terrier on a leash.

And behind him, there was a long line of about 100 men walking quietly in single file.

Curious Bill spoke to the man with the dog and asked, “Excuse me, sir, I don’t want to intrude on this sad occasion, but your situation seems a little unusual. Whose funeral is this?”

“Well”, the man replied, “The first hearse is for my late wife. She died after this dog attacked her.”

“And the second hearse?” said Bill.

“The second hearse is for my late mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife during the attack, and the dog savaged her to death too”, the man responded.

Bill thought momentarily about the challenges in his own life, and then he said to the man, “Is there any chance I could borrow your dog after the funeral?”

The man smiled and pointed to the line of men behind him and said, “You’ll have to join the queue, buddy.”

2. The power of prayer:

Jackie was invited to give a talk at her local women’s group about the power of prayer.

With her husband Mike in the audience, she recalled how a few short months ago she’d turned to God when poor Mike had suffered an unfortunate accident.

“Six months ago”, Jackie began, “my husband Mike was knocked off his motorcycle and his scrotum was smashed.”

Jackie explained that for Mike, the pain had been unbearable, and his doctors weren’t sure they’d be able to help him.

“The doctors warned us that our lives might never be the same again”, said Jackie. “I can tell you I was scared. Mike was unable to get close to me or the children because every move caused him such extreme discomfort. And that meant he could no longer be touched around the scrotum.”

Jackie paused momentarily to allow the audience to absorb her words.

Then she said, “I’m not ashamed to say I turned to God for help, and I prayed that the doctors would be able to repair Mike.”

Again, she paused and then said, “Fortunately, our prayers were answered, and the doctors were able to piece together the remnants of Mike’s scrotum with wire holding everything in place. His medical team tell me that he will make a full recovery and regain the full use of his scrotum.”

As the audience burst into applause, a lone man walked slowly up to the stage and said, “Hello, I’m Mike, Jackie’s husband, and I just wanted to remind my wife once again that the word is ‘sternum’.”

3. Discovering facts:

As part of her rehabilitation, a patient in a mental hospital was told by her psychiatrist to go out into the nearby town and discover one new fact.

Off she went, and then a few hours later, the patient returned to the hospital to tell the psychiatrist all about what she had learned.

So said her psychiatrist, “Were you able to find out something you didn’t know before?”

“Yes”, said the patient, “I discovered that spiders have ears on their legs.”

“Ears on their legs?” said the psychiatrist. “How did you work that out?”

The patient produced a matchbox and when opened a large spider crawled out onto the psychiatrist’s desk.

The patient then said “Boo!”

The spider scurried quickly across the desktop.

The patient then grabbed the spider and proceeded to pull off all its legs.

She then put it back on the desk and once again said, “Boo!”

Naturally, the spider was motionless.

The patient looked at the psychiatrist, smiled and then said, “Do you see? Without its legs, it can’t hear me.”

4. Jogging Rick’s Memory:

Rick had spent several weeks searching for a new hat that resembled the one he had misplaced.

Finally, he remembered a man who attended his local church who wore a similar hat.

So, Rick decided to go to church on Sunday. He thought that if he sat at the back, during the service, he could sneak out and grab the hat from the rack near the door if he left early.

During the service, Rick sat at the back and listened to the sermon about the Ten Commandments.

Despite his cunning plan, Rick sat and listened to the entire sermon, and instead of sneaking out early, he waited until Mass was over and spoke to the priest as he was leaving.

“Hello, Father,” said Rick. “Believe it or not, I came here today with a plan to steal a hat to replace the one I’d lost. But after hearing your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I changed my mind.”

In response, Father O’Riley smiled benevolently and said, “Bless you, my son. Was it when I started to preach ‘Thou shalt not steal’ that changed your mind?”

“No, Father,” Rick responded. “It was when you mentioned the one about adultery. As you started to preach that, I remembered where I’d left my hat.”

5. Old remedies:

Jack walked into a pharmacy and said to the pharmacist, “Excuse me, sir, do you have anything for hiccups?“

The pharmacist walked from behind the counter, appeared to reach for something high on a shelf, and then he suddenly slapped Jack hard on the back.

He smiled at Jack and then said, “There! Did that help?“

“I can’t tell from here,” said Jack. “It’s my wife with the problem, and she’s waiting outside in the car.“

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6. Unpaid debt:

Bert is in a dispute with his neighbour, and he goes to see a lawyer for help.

“How can I help you?” asks the lawyer.

“Well, sir,” says Bert, “my neighbour borrowed $500 and now he won’t pay it back. So, what can I do?“

“Do you have any proof that he owes you this money?” asks the lawyer.

“Unfortunately, no,” says Bert. “We used to be friends, and I thought I could trust him.“

“Right,” says the lawyer, “I suggest that I write him a letter, enclosing a stamped, addressed return envelope, requesting the $5,000 that he owes you.“

“But he’ll say that it’s only $500,” says Bert.

“Exactly!” says the lawyer. “That way we’ll have an admission of guilt should it go to court.”

Moral of the Story: A good lawyer won’t let a lack of evidence get in the way of fighting a case.

7. Windfall:

Wally and Mildred are an elderly couple celebrating their sixtieth wedding anniversary.

They had been childhood sweethearts, and they had recently moved back to the neighbourhood where they grew up.

Holding hands, they walked around the area, and they decided to go back and visit their old school.

The school wasn’t locked, but the classes had gone home for the day.

So, they entered and walked around. Unbelievably, they found their old classroom and the old wooden desk they had shared, on which Wally had carved, “I love Mildred Jones.”

As they were leaving the school campus, an armoured security van drove past and, as it did so, a large bag of money fell out, practically landing at their feet.

Now, there was no one around, so Mildred grabbed it quickly. As they were unsure what to do with it, they decided to take it home.

Once home, Mildred decided she’d sit and count the money. Very quickly, she realised that the bag contained $100,000.

Wally was an honest man and felt that they should return it.

“Nonsense!” said Mildred. “Surely, it’s finders’ keepers. And anyway, we could use a little extra money.”

With that, Mildred put the money back in the bag and hid it in the loft.

The next day, Mildred answered a knock on her front door, and two police officers were standing in front of her.

“Good morning, mam,” said one of the police officers. “We’re investigating the disappearance of a cash bag that fell from a security van yesterday. Did you or your husband see anything?”

Mildred smiled demurely and said, “No, officer.”

At this point, Wally’s conscience got the better of him, and he said, “She’s lying, officer. She’s got the money, and she hid it up in the loft.“

Once again, Mildred smiled demurely and said, “Don’t listen to him, officer, he’s getting senile, and his imagination runs away with him at times.”

“Well, not so fast,” the police officer says. “I think we should listen to what he has to say.”

With that, the officer turns to Wally and says, “Sir, can you tell us the story from the beginning?“

“Well,” said Wally, “when Mildred and I were walking home from school yesterday.“

The two police officers look at each other, and one says, “Let’s go, there’s nothing to see here.”

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with women of a certain age. You won’t win.

8. The admiral and the general:

A Navy admiral and an Army general were fishing together on a lake one day when a storm blew up and their boat capsized.

Not being quite as fit as they once were, both men were floundering helplessly in the water.

However, eventually, the general managed to right the boat and clamber back on board.

He then rescued the admiral from drowning by reaching out to him with one of the oars and then hauling him back in.

As the admiral was dragged into the boat, he struggled for a few seconds to regain his composure.

Then he said, “Please don’t say a word to anyone about this. If anyone in the Navy knew I couldn’t swim, I’d be disgraced.”

The general smiled and said, “Don’t worry, buddy, your secret’s safe with me. I’d hate for my troops to find out that I couldn’t walk on water.”

9. The origin of the species:

As she was getting ready for school one morning, Grace asked her mother, “How did the human race appear, Mom?”

“Well”, said her mother, “God made Adam and Eve, and they had children, and that’s how we all began, dear.”

Two days later, Grace asked her father the same question.

“Well”, said her father, “first there were apes and from them, the human race has evolved.”

Naturally, these responses left Grace a little confused.

So once again, she spoke with her mother and said, “Mom, I don’t understand. You said that we were created by God but dad says we evolved from apes. How can that be?”

Her mother smiled and said, “Well, darling, it’s all very simple. I was telling you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.”

Please share this post with your friends:

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Did any of these funny short story jokes make you laugh? If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

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Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. Please share this post now.

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33 funny jokes for 5-year-olds that’ll tickle adults too

06/21/2025 by

If you’re looking for funny jokes for 5-year-olds, then I’ve curated 33 of them, and I think they might just tickle you too, dear reader. I hope so, anyway.

Take a few moments to enjoy them all, or at least groan at a few, and then share them with the 5-year-olds in your life, and anyone else you think they’ll amuse as well.

Jokes-for-5-year-olds
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Jokes for 5-year-olds (1-11):

  1. What pie can fly? – A magpie.
  2. What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit? – Nectarine.
  3. How do you start a milk pudding race? – Say go.
  4. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms? – A doctorpus
  5. What do you call a bike that bites people? – A vicious cycle.
  6. Which sea creature is good at math? – An octoplus.
  7. What do you call a Scottish parrot? – A Macaw.
  8. What do you call a pickle that draws? – A dillustrator.
  9. Who was the pizza’s favourite relative? – Aunt Chovy.
  10. Where would seaweed look for a job? – The kelp-wanted ads.
  11. What grace is said before a salad is eaten? – Lettuce pray.

Jokes for 5-year-olds (12-22):

  1. Why do lions eat raw meat? – They don’t know how to cook it.
  2. What food can be eaten in a taxi? – Corn-on-the-cab.
  3. Where would you see hamburgers boxing? – In an onion ring.
  4. What did the dinner plate say to the side plate? – Lunch is on me.
  5. What lies on the forest floor, 100 feet in the air? – A dead centipede.
  6. Which vegetable is most unreliable? – A fickle onion.
  7. What goes up but doesn’t come down? – Your age.
  8. What kind of nut will you find on a wall? – A walnut.
  9. So, how long were you there? – About five foot eleven.
  10. Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.
  11. In what way are cooks cruel to animals? – They batter fish.

Jokes for 5-year-olds (23-33):

  1. Why did the sandwich go to the dentist? – It needed a filling.
  2. How long should you cook spaghetti? – About 30 centimetres.
  3. What is served in glasses but is hard to swallow? – A stiff drink.
  4. Why did the pickle stay home from school? – Because he felt dill.
  5. What did one snowman say to the other? – Can you smell carrots?
  6. What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? – A coconut on holiday.
  7. Why did the orange go to the doctor? – He wasn’t peeling very well.
  8. How did the Irish potato change nationality? – It became a French fry.
  9. Why did the banana go out with the prune? – Because he couldn’t find a date.
  10. What did one strawberry say to another? – I told you we’d end up in this jam.
  11. Which is the best, a hamburger or a hot dog? – A hamburger because hot dogs are wurst.
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30 comedy one-liners that are pure gold

06/17/2025 by

Are you tired of the same old jokes that leave you uninspired and unamused, dear reader? Perhaps you’re looking for some comedy one-liners that might amuse your friends and colleagues.

Well, if you’re looking for some comedy gold, some of these one-liners might leave you in stitches.

This collection of comedy one-liners will leave you with a smile on your face and a chuckle in your heart.

From witty observations to pun-filled gags, these one-liners will keep you entertained and amused.

Whether you’re looking to brighten up your day or impress your friends with your quick wit, these one-liners are sure to deliver.

So why wait? Grab a cup of coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy all these one-liners. They’ll tickle you silly.

Feel free to pass them on.

COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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Comedy one-liners (1-10):

  1. I’m not old, I’m chronologically gifted.
  2. Am I lazy? No, I’m just conserving energy.
  3. I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.
  4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  5. Why did the blond move to LA? It was easier to spell.
  6. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.
  7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  8. Why do they call it a drive-through if you have to stop?
  9. I’m not a light sleeper. I can sleep just as well in the dark
  10. I’m not a great cook, but few people are better at re-heating.

Comedy one-liners (11-20):

  1. I’m not a morning person, I’m a several-cups-of-coffee person.
  2. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
  3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  4. If a chicken crosses the road, then would that be poultry in motion?
  5. I told my wife she was acting like a fool. She replied, “You married me.”
  6. Why did the hedgehog cross the road? He wanted to see his flat mate.
  7. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was about to crumble.
  8. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  9. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
  10. Why does a flamingo lift one leg? Because if it lifted both it would fall over.

Comedy one-liners (21-30):

  1. I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to charge the camera.
  2. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  3. I used to fear the speed bump outside my house, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  4. I told my wife she was acting like a drama queen. She replied, “Long live the queen.”
  5. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  7. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  8. I’m not a fan of politicians. They’re always trying to get in touch with the people they used to avoid in high school.
  9. Why do wives of bus drivers have trouble getting pregnant? Because bus drivers tend to pull out unexpectedly.
  10. What does it mean when your doctor says you have six months to live? The message is you have five months to pay.
COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’ll be forever grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

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33 terrible puns, so bad they’ll make you smile

06/15/2025 by

Puns can be really corny, and terrible puns are the corniest of the lot. Nevertheless, lots of people like them, and I always get a good response when I put a collection of them together.

So today I offer you another 33 puns, corny to the point of being terrible, but they just might make you smile too. I hope so.

Enjoy them all, and please pass them on to your friends.

TERRIBLE PUNS
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Terrible puns (1-11):

  1. Squid puns are inkredible.
  2. With fish puns, any fin goes.
  3. We’re big fans of renewable energy.
  4. Skeleton puns are close to the bone.
  5. With Halloween puns, anything ghost.
  6. Do I like tea? I’m willing to give it a chai.
  7. With music puns, I’ve had too much too tune.
  8. Haunted French pancakes will give you the crepes.
  9. Two blood cells fell in love but alas it was all in vein.
  10. Do busy elephants keep a list of tusks to be completed?
  11. With mountaineering puns, actions peak louder than words.

Terrible puns (12-22):

  1. Why don’t frogs wear shoes? They prefer open-toad sandals.
  2. If a plant is sad, do the other plants photosympathize with it?
  3. What did the biologist wear on his first date? Designer Genes.
  4. I went terrapin bowling the other night. It was turtley amazing.
  5. My orange was a funny color. Definitely, a whiter shade of peel.
  6. In the debate about Mexican food, I played the Devil’s avocado.
  7. If I had a ruminant of pride, would I be writing terrible camel puns?
  8. The omelette wasn’t very good, but I’ve put it down to eggsperience.
  9. Sales promotion on French breadsticks. Buy one, baguette one free!
  10. I’ve been to Joshua Tree National Park but it’s not all it’s cactus to be.
  11. There was a wild bamboo party at the zoo. It was utter panda-monium.

Terrible puns (13-33):

  1. I looked at the Indian buffet and thought, “No, I don’t want naan of that.”
  2. My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes. It Taurus apart.
  3. Omelettin’ you have it. Yolks about accidents in egg factories aren’t funny.
  4. The baker smiled and said, “I don’t knead money, I’ve got plenty of dough.”
  5. I’d love to explore the Arctic and boldly go where snowmen have gone before.
  6. What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another? “Sorry, my fault!”
  7. The baker brought out a tray of American-style, glazed, sweet treats. I said, “Donut tempt me.”
  8. A chicken walked into a bar swearing, loudly. “No fowl language, please,” said the bartender.
  9. They served leaf cabbage for lunch in the police canteen but I thought, “That’s beyond the kale of duty!”
  10. Cows were complaining about living conditions on the farm and the leader said, “We’ve herd the problems but hoof you spoken to so far?”
  11. Two Martians land in a field and the first thing they see is a cute little doe eating grass. “I’ve never seen herbivore,” one said to the other.
Terrible Puns
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So did these terrible puns prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

I appreciate your support, dear reader. Thank you.

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31 jokes for children that will make you smile too

06/05/2025 by

Looking for some jokes for children, dear reader?

Like adults, children love to laugh, and telling jokes to children is a great way to bond with them.

So today I’ve put together some very silly jokes that will really appeal to the children in your life, particularly younger children.

Take five minutes to enjoy these jokes and share them with the kids in your life.

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Jokes for children (1-10):

  1. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
  2. Why don’t male ants sink? They’re buoy-ant.
  3. What’s orange and sounds like a carrot? A parrot.
  4. Where does Batman go to the toilet? The batroom.
  5. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse.
  6. How do oceans say hello to each other? They wave.
  7. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  8. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
  9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  10. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.

Jokes for children (11-20):

  1. What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
  2. Why did the M&M go to school? Because it wanted to be a Smartie.
  3. Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything!
  4. What did one hat say to the other? You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
  5. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  6. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
  7. Why shouldn’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
  8. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
  9. What did one tomato say to the other? You go on ahead and I’ll ketchup.
  10. Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away.

Jokes for children (21-31):

  1. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? They dribble all the time.
  2. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.
  3. Why did it get so hot in the ballpark after the game? All of the fans left.
  4. Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? In case she needed to draw blood.
  5. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
  6. Why are ghosts, such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
  7. Why aren’t koalas actually bears? Because they don’t have the koalafications.
  8. Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? They both got six months each.
  9. What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
  10. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
  11. Did you hear about the dog that ate all the Scrabble tiles? He kept leaving little messages all over the house.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these jokes for children made you smile, please share this post with your children, as well as your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. Please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then click on the links below.

Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

JOKES FOR CHILDREN
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37 short quotes that are funny and sharp

05/28/2025 by

If you’re looking for some short quotes that are funny and sharp, dear reader, then I’ve curated 37 little gems for you today.

I’m confident that at least a few of them will make you smile.

Who originally gave us these little gems? I have no idea. But whoever it was, we should all thank them.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all, and feel free to pass them on.

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Short quotes that are funny (1-10):

  1. I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!
  2. I’m not old, I’m just a classic.
  3. I’m not weird, I’m just different.
  4. I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
  5. I’m not lazy, I’m just energy efficient.
  6. I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.
  7. I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair.
  8. I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.
  9. I’m not always right, I’m just never wrong.
  10. I’m not impatient, I just prefer not to wait.

Short quotes that are funny (11-20):

  1. I’m not messy, I’m creatively disorganized.
  2. I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity challenged.
  3. I’m not moody, I just have a lot of feelings.
  4. I’m not stubborn, I’m just persistently right.
  5. I’m not antisocial, I’m just selectively social.
  6. I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.
  7. I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in smartass.
  8. I’m not late, I’m just chronologically challenged.
  9. I’m not a control freak, I’m a control enthusiast.
  10. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
37 SHORT QUOTES THAT ARE FUNNY
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Short quotes that are funny (21-30):

  1. I’m not difficult, I’m just picky about my stupidity.
  2. If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
  3. I don’t have bad handwriting; I have my own font.
  4. I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
  5. I wanted to be a baker but couldn’t raise the dough.
  6. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
  7. I’m not procrastinating, I’m prioritizing in reverse order.
  8. I’m not always right, but when I am, it’s usually by accident.
  9. I’m not messy, I just like to create my own obstacle courses.
  10. I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.

Short quotes that are funny (31-37):

  1. I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing why I’m right.
  2. I’m not a procrastinator, I’m just very efficient at doing nothing.
  3. I’m not forgetful, I’m just experiencing spontaneous memory loss.
  4. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right in a different way.
  5. I’m not nosy, I’m just overly curious about everything and everyone.
  6. I’m not a morning person. I’m a mourning person, mourning the loss of my sleep.
  7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of debt payments.

Please share with your friends:

So, there you have it. My 37 short quotes that are funny. However, were they as funny as you’d hoped? I hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

05/07/2025 by
6 short story jokes

Here are six short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh. They made me howl with laughter, so I hope they’ll brighten your day too. Enjoy them all.

SHORT STORY JOKES
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Short story jokes:

1. The Deaf Debt Collector:

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses subject to their protection racket.

As they were feeling the heat from the Police, they decided to use someone deaf for the job. If someone deaf gets caught, they figured he wouldn’t be able to communicate easily with the Police.

In his first week on the job, the deaf debt collector picks up over $50,000. That’s a lot of money, he thinks, and the deaf debt collector’s greed gets the better of him. He decides to keep the money, and he stashes it in a safe place.

However, it’s not long before the Mafia realises that the collection is late and they send out a couple of heavies to look for the deaf debt collector.

They soon find him and ask the deaf debt collector what he’s done with the money. The problem is that the deaf debt collector can’t communicate with them either, so the Mafia heavies drag him off to an interpreter.

They get to a sign language interpreter and the leading Mafioso then says, “I want ya to ask him where da money is.“

So the interpreter signs, “Where’s the money?“

The deaf debt collector tries to bluff his way out of his dilemma by saying, “I don’t know what they’re talking about.“

The interpreter looks at the Mafioso and says, “He’s saying he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.“

The Mafioso reaches into his coat and pulls out a .44 Remington Magnum handgun, which he points at the forehead of the deaf debt collector, and with real menace in his voice, he says to the interpreter, “Ask him where da money is, and tell him I won’t be askin’ again.“

So the interpreter immediately signs, “Where’s the money? He says he won’t ask again, and I think he’s serious.“

At this point, the deaf debt collector’s nerve goes, and he signs, “The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left by the gate near 72nd Street on Central Park West, and close to Strawberry Fields.“

Getting impatient, the Mafioso looks at the interpreter and asks, “What did he say?”

The interpreter looks at the Mafioso and says, “He says he still doesn’t know what you’re talking about, he thinks you’re an idiot, and he doesn’t think you’ve got the balls to pull the trigger!“

2. The Balloonist and the Programmer:

A man is flying in a hot air balloon, and soon realizes he’s completely lost.

So he starts reducing height, and suddenly spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon a little further and then shouts: “Excuse me, sir, I was wondering, can you tell me where I am? I seem to be lost.“

Taken by surprise, the man looks up and replies, “Yeah, that’s easy. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering about 25 feet above this field.“

“You must work in IT. I’m guessing you work as a programmer?” says the balloonist.

“I do and yes, I am,” replies the man, looking a little surprised, “How did you guess?“

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you’ve told me is technically correct, but it’s of no actual use to anyone.“

The programmer smiles and then says, “Ah, you must be the CEO of a business.“

“Yes, I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how could you know that?“

“That’s easy,” says the programmer. “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.“

3. The Tiger, the Man, and God:

A man is being chased by a tiger.

He’s running as hard as he can, and eventually, he gets to the edge of a cliff with the tiger still in hot pursuit.

The man looks over the edge of the cliff and sees a branch growing out of the side of the cliff just a few feet down.

Having no other option, the man jumps down and grabs the branch just before the tiger arrives at the cliff edge.

The tiger is growling viciously and pacing backwards and forwards along the cliff edge. The man sighs with relief, as he thinks he’s outsmarted the tiger.

At that moment, a little mouse appears from a crevice in the rock, and it begins to chew on the branch.

The man looks down at what is a drop of hundreds of feet. If he falls, it will surely result in his death. So he looks to the heavens and yelled out, “Dear God, if you are there, please help. I will do anything you ask, but please help.“

“You say you will do anything I ask?” Without it being questioned?” a voice booms from heaven above.

The man is surprised to get an immediate reply to his plea, but he yells back, “I will gladly do anything you ask, but please save me.“

“There’s one way to save you, but it will take courage and faith,” says the voice from above.

The man can feel the branch begin to weaken as the mouse continues to gnaw at it, and he can see the tiger still pacing around, growling at the cliff’s edge a few feet above him.

“Please, Lord, tell me what I must do, and I will do it. Your will is my command,” shouts the man in despair.

“All right then, let go of the branch,” the voice from heaven responds.

The man looks down to a fall of hundreds of feet and certain death. He looks up at the hungry tiger a few feet above him, and then he looks at the mouse still chewing on the branch.

He then looks up at the heavens again and yells, “Is there no one else up there I can speak to?“

SHORT STORY JOKES

4. The Mercedes Dealership:

An elderly man returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car he was interested in to a beautiful, busty blonde.

“I thought you said you would hold that car for me until I raised the $75.000 asking price,” said the old man. “And now I’m told you just closed a deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model.“

“Well, sir, what can I tell you?” replied the salesman, grinning. “She had the cash in her hand, and just look at her, she’s stunningly beautiful. How could I resist?“.

At this point, the young lady approached the old man and handed him the keys to the car.

“There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop his asking price. See you later, Grandpa.”

Moral of the story: Never mess with old people!

5. The Genie:

A customer service agent, an administration clerk, and their manager are all walking to lunch when they stumble upon an old, antique oil lamp.

Knowing that an old oil lamp can often house a genie, they enthusiastically rub it in hopeful anticipation.

Sure enough, out pops a genie.

“I am the genie of the lamp, and you can each have one wish,” says the genie.

“Me first! Me first!” says the customer service agent. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”

There’s a poof sound followed by a cloud of smoke, and the customer service agent’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.”

There’s a poof sound followed by a cloud of smoke, and the administration clerk’s gone

The genie then looks at the manager and says, “OK, Boss, I guess it’s your turn now.”

“I want those two back in the office in exactly 45 minutes,” the manager responds.

Moral of the story: It’s always a good idea to let your boss go first.

6. The Mexican Maid:

A Mexican maid asks for a pay rise from the lady of the house.

The wife is not happy about this, so she decides to talk to the maid about her request for more money.

“Now, Maria, why do you want more money?” she asks.

“Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I wanna increase,” replies the maid. “The first eez that I iron better than you.“

“Maria, who said you iron better than me?” responds the wife.

“Jor huzban he say so Señora,” Maria replies.

“Oh, he did, did he?” says the wife. “And what is your second reason?”

“The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you,” Maria responds.

“That’s nonsense. Who said you’re a better cook than me?” asks the wife.

“Jor hozban deed Señora,” Maria replies.

“Oh, he did, did he?”  the wife responds, getting increasingly agitated.

“The third reason eez that I ama better than you in da bed,” says Maria.

The lady of the house is now angry and, through gritted teeth, she asks, “And did my husband say that too?“

“No Señora, the gardener deed,” Maria replies.

“OK, how much is it you want?” asks her employer.

Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these short story jokes, dear reader, please share this post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

And if you fancy some more laughs, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

More fun you might enjoy:

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35 one-liners about life that will raise a smile

05/01/2025 by

I love one-liners about life. The one I love most has to be the following:

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”

Older readers may remember that this was the expression made famous by Marvin the Paranoid Android in Douglas Adams’ classic novel, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

I’m sure we’ve all shared Marvin’s sentiment occasionally when we experience life’s more challenging moments.

However positive we are, life can get the better of us sometimes.

So here are some one-liners about life that are guaranteed to raise a smile or two, as I’m sure at least some of them will resonate with readers.

Life can be absurd at times, and it’s difficult on occasions to believe the evidence of our own eyes and ears.

Nevertheless, our aim must be to remain positive, and to do that, we must learn to laugh at life and ourselves.

Don’t take it all too seriously.

Just laugh as much as you can, and that is the perfect counterbalance to life’s absurdities.

Start now by laughing at all these one-liners, which I’ve collected together to amuse and entertain you, dear reader.

ONE-LINERS ABOUT LIFE
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One-liners about life (1-20):

  1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  2. Life is a terminal disease.
  3. Youth is wasted on the young.
  4. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
  5. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  6. It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
  7. We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.
  8. Being a hypochondriac could save your life one of these days.
  9. Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.
  10. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  11. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
  12. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
  13. I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
  14. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  15. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
  16. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
  17. Just because a road’s well-trodden doesn’t mean it leads anywhere worth going.
  18. As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else.
  19. Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism but stealing ideas from many people is research.
  20. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

One-liners about life (21-35):

  1. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than the police.
  2. You might as well laugh at your problems because everyone else does.
  3. God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.
  4. Dolphins are so smart they can train people to stand at the edge of the pool and throw fish at them.
  5. If I was doin’ any better, I’d have to hire someone to help me enjoy it!
  6. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  7. How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
  8. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  9. I thought I wanted a career but I realize now that I just wanted a decent income.
  10. Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they’re sexy.
  12. Why is it that most nudists are people you wouldn’t want to see naked?
  13. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
  14. Some people will appreciate it others will be irritated by it. Either way, you win.
  15. The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.

Please share with your friends:

So, dear reader, did any of these one-liners about life make you smile?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

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21 stupid jokes that are funny

04/28/2025 by
stupid jokes that are funny

If you’re looking for some stupid jokes that are funny, dear reader, then I have 21 for you today that I’m confident will make you laugh.

So, grab a cup of coffee, relax, and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Stupid jokes that are funny (1-5):

Last week, I went on a first aid course, and the instructor asked me what I’d do if my child swallowed a door key. Apparently “I’d climb through the window,” wasn’t the right answer.

Barber: How would you like your hair cut, sir? Customer: In silence, please.

Yesterday, I was persuaded to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at first, but they told me it’s for blind and disabled kids, so I thought I’d have a decent chance of winning.

Wife: “Just look at that couple over there; how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?” Husband: “Are you mad? I don’t even know the woman!”

It’s been so cold recently that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Stupid jokes that are funny (6-10):

After years of study at university, finally, I’m a PhD, or as I’m better known, a Pizza Hut Deliveryman.

Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common? A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

It is a fact that light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear to be quite bright until you hear them talk.

Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man in central London and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money,” the robber demanded. “You can’t do this I’m a Member of Parliament!” the man replied, “Oh! In that case,” smiled the robber, “give me MY money!“

My wife keeps berating me for being unkind to one of my kids, but I don’t know which one she means. I think I treat Bobby, Cindy, and the fat, ugly one all the same.

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Stupid jokes that are funny (11-15):

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally, I was forced to take his bike away from him.

Q: What can you hold without ever touching it? A: A conversation.

Mike arrives home one evening, unannounced, with his best buddy, Pete, and asks his wife, Jane, if she can make dinner for him and Pete. Naturally, Jane’s not happy and she starts screaming at Mike, as the two men just sit and listen. “What are you doing to me?” shouts Jane. “My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, and it’s too late to expect me to start cooking now. Why the hell did you bring him home anyway?” Mike hesitates momentarily and then says, “Because Pete’s thinking of getting married, so I thought it would be helpful if I showed him what married life is like!“

Jim’s driving home from work when he gets a call from his wife, Irene, on his cell phone. “Be careful on the road, honey. I’ve just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way down the highway,” says Irene. “It’s not just one car,” Jim responds, “there are literally thousands of them!“

Dick and Roger are two elderly gentlemen eating breakfast together in a restaurant one morning. Roger notices something funny in Dick’s ear. “Hey, Dick,” says Roger. “Do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” Dick fiddles with his ear, pulls out the suppository, stares at it momentarily, and then says, “Well, I’ll be darned; now I think I know what I did with my hearing aid.”

Stupid jokes that are funny (16-21):

Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, “Are you two sisters?” “No!” says one, as they both start giggling. “We’re not even Catholic.”

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? A: Dam!

Q: What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A: A can’t opener!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An impasta.

There are three types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can’t.

A guy with a giraffe walks into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The guy decides it’s time to leave. The bartender sees what happened and shouts, “Hey, buddy, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” As he’s heading for the door, the man turns and says, “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.“

Please share this post with your friends:

So, dear reader, were these stupid jokes amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Were they as funny as you’d hoped?

Did they make you smile?

If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

7 funny story jokes that might just tickle you

04/21/2025 by

Funny story jokes always get a great response from readers. So today, I’m offering you seven of them, which I hope you’ll find amusing.

They all made me smile, so I hope at least one or two of these funny story jokes might tickle you

Enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

FUNNY STORY JOKES
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Funny story jokes:

1. The hospital visits:

US President Donald Trump is visiting a local hospital in Washington, DC.

Naturally, he’s determined to meet as many patients as possible, regardless of their ailments.

As he’s walking around the hospital, he eventually arrives at old Charlie’s bed.

“Hello there, buddy,” says the President, “what’s wrong with you?”

“I’ve got an enormous boil on my ass,” old Charlie responds, “and I’m here to have it lanced.”

Looking a little embarrassed, the president smiles at Charlie, then quickly moves on to the next patient.

As soon as he’s out of earshot, the nurse scolds old Charlie for his comment to the president: “Now that wasn’t very diplomatic of you, Charlie, was it? He didn’t need the detail. You could just have said you had a bad back.”

The following day, the Vice President, JD Vance, is visiting the same hospital.

As he’s walking around, he arrives at old Charlie’s bed.

“And how are you today?” the Vice President asks warmly with a smile.

“Oh, I’ve got a bad back,” says old Charlie.

“Oh dear,” the Vice President responds sympathetically. “What with that enormous boil on your ass, you’re not having much luck, are you?”

2. The Sunday service:

It was a Sunday morning, and the pastor noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with a list of names and bearing symbols in the form of American flags in each corner.

The seven-year-old had been staring at this plaque for some time when the pastor walked up and said, “Hello, Johnny.”

“Good morning, Reverend,” Johnny responded. “Can you tell what this is meant to be?”

“Well, son,” said the pastor, “that’s a memorial to those young men and women who died in service.”

“Really?” said Johnny. “Which service, the 8 o’clock or the 10.30?”

3. Miscommunication:

An old man was visiting his daughter and infant grandson.

During the visit, the little boy says, “Hey, Grandpa, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure!” the old man responds.

“Can you make a noise like a frog?” the boy asks.

“Well, I think so,” the old man responds. And with that, he starts making croaking ribbit sounds.

The little boy is delighted and immediately runs out of the living room before returning a few minutes later, dragging a suitcase behind him.

“Why do you need the suitcase?” the old man asks the little boy.

“Because Mom says we can go to Disneyland the day you croak,” the little boy replied.

4. Tricky question:

Son: Mom, how did humans come to exist?

Mother: Well, you see, God created Adam and Eve…..

Son: But Dad said we came from apes

Mom: He was talking about his family; I am telling you about mine.

5. A bit of fun:

A boy is jumping up and down on a big box in the middle of a street in Manhattan, yelling, “Nine!“

An old man is walking down the street, and he stops momentarily to watch what the boy is doing.

“Hey, kid,” says the old man. “What are you doing?“

“Hey, mister,” the kid responds. “You’ve got to try this. It’s so much fun.”

“Fun? Really?” says the old man. “It doesn’t look like fun to me.”

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” the kid responds. “Maybe you’re just too old to try something new.”

Well, the old man couldn’t let that comment go without showing that he could still compete with the best of them.

“Okay, kid,” says the old man, “let me have a go.”

With that, the old man climbs on the box, starts jumping up and down, and yells, “Nine!“

“Louder!” shouts the kid.

Raising his voice, the old man jumps up again and yells, “Nine!“

“Again!” the kid shouts.

The old man jumps a third time, but as he does so, the kid whips the box from under him, exposing an open manhole.

With that, the old man disappears down the manhole, and the boy quickly moves the box back over the top of it.

The kid then gets back on the box, jumps up and down, and shouts, “Ten!”

6. The construction site:

A group of guys working on a construction site were all sitting around drinking coffee and moaning about how their boss still owed them for the last big job.

One of the guys was talking on a cellphone, and his colleagues couldn’t help but listen to him talking

“$1,000?” they heard him say. “Honey, that’s no problem. If you like the coat, go ahead and buy it.”

A few moments pass, and the conversation continues.

“You want a new BMW?” he continued. “It’s $125,000? That’s fine, but make sure you get it fully loaded with all the extras.”

His workmates were looking at each other, thinking how surprisingly generous this guy was being, and wondering how he could afford it all anyway.

Then they heard him say, “It’s now on the market? How much is it? $950,000? Go ahead, but offer $900,000 and see what they say.”

Staring in disbelief, his workmates looked at him as he terminated his call.

He looked at them all, smiled, and then said, “Tell the boss I’ve found his cell phone, his wife called, and I quit.”

7. The golfing accident:

Jack is on a golfing holiday, and he manages to overturn his golf cart accidentally whilst playing a quick 18 holes.

Olivia, a stunningly attractive woman and a keen golfer herself, lives in a villa right next to the golf course, and she hears Jack shouting for help.

Without hesitation, but dressed only in a flimsy bathrobe, she rushes out through her garden gate onto the golf course to assist.

“Are you okay?” asks Olivia as she tries to help. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Jack,” he responds, as he manages to crawl out from beneath the golf cart. “I’m a bit bruised, but otherwise I’m fine.”

Jack couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Olivia was, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her as she said to him, “Look, Jack, you may have some hidden injuries. Come back to my villa and rest for a while. I’ll help you turn the golf cart over later.”

“That’s kind of you,” says Jack, “but I don’t think my wife would be happy if I did that.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Olivia responded warmly, “your wife won’t mind.”

Olivia was so attractive with such a warm and friendly nature that Jack quickly weakened and said, “Well, if you’re sure.”

As they sat in Olivia’s living room, she offered Jack a restorative Scotch and water, and then they chatted for a while.

An hour went by, but eventually, Jack thanked Olivia, saying, “I feel a lot better now, but my wife will be really upset, so it’s best if I go now.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” Olivia responded with a smile. “Your wife won’t even know you’ve been here. By the way, where is she?”

“Probably still under the golf cart, I would guess,” Jack says sheepishly.

Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these funny story jokes, dear reader, then please share this post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

So go on, please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be forever grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

More fun you might enjoy:

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