35 short but brilliant one-liner quotes you’ll love

35 BRILLIANT ONE LINER QUOTESI love brilliant one-liner quotes. In fact, whenever I come across some good ones I always make a note of them in my journal. Naturally, I review what I’ve collected occasionally and I thought today I’d share my most recent collection with you, dear reader.

So here are some short but brilliant one-liner quotes that I’m confident you’ll love.

Enjoy them all.

Brilliant one-liner quotes (1-20):

  1. When in doubt, mumble.
  2. Only dead fish go with the flow.
  3. No one’s listening until you fart.
  4. Is it bad luck to be superstitious?
  5. I want to live forever. So far, so good.
  6. Constipated people don’t give a crap.
  7. I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?
  8. Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
  9. There are no real winners in life, only survivors.
  10. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
  11. Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
  12. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  13. If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving’s not for you!
  14. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it homeless or naked?
  15. For every action, there’s a corresponding over-reaction.
  16. You should laugh at your problems, everyone else does.
  17. Research confirms that 4 out of 3 people struggle with math.
  18. I don’t have a solution, but I can offer a critical comment.
  19. Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
  20. Life is like a bird. It’s pretty cute until it craps on your head.

Brilliant one-liner quotes (21-35):

  1. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  2. It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
  3. People make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
  4. The best way to lie is to tell a carefully edited version of the truth.
  5. I know God’s watching me, so the least I can be is entertaining.
  6. People who smile in a crisis have found someone else to blame.
  7. God must really love stupid people. He’s made so many of them.
  8. Laugh and the world laugh with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
  9. We’re all part of the ultimate statistic – 10 out of 10 people will die.
  10. We live in a society where pizza gets to our house before the police.
  11. Progress is made by lazy people looking for easier ways to do things.
  12. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
  13. The hardest thing about success is finding someone who’s pleased for you
  14. The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
  15. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

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