Amusement

12 funniest jokes you’ll read today

07/18/2026 by Roy Sutton

We all need a smile or two now and then. Jokes cheer us up, and laughter is the best medicine. So today I offer you 12 of the funniest jokes, each in two lines.

Let me say that these are jokes that I’ve stumbled upon in various places, so I cannot claim credit for them.

However, I wasn’t able to identify the original authors either.

Should you be the author of any of these jokes, or should you know the original author, then please let me know.

I would welcome the opportunity to add appropriate credits and links to acknowledge the authors. In the meantime, enjoy them all!

Funniest Jokes:

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving
You only need a parachute if you plan to go skydiving twice

Parallel lines have so much in common
It’s a shame they’ll never meet

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I earn
Then they call me ugly and poor

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re going to pay
You have my Word

I went to an emotional wedding the other day
Even the cake was in tiers

Someone stole my mood ring
I don’t know how I feel about that

I tried to catch fog yesterday
Mist

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrow too high
She looked surprised

I threw a boomerang a few years ago
I now live in constant fear

A guy shows up late for work. His boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8.30!”
The guy replies, “Why? What happened at 8.30?

To people who say, “My dog is my best friend.”
I say, “Your dog may be your best friend, but will it pick you up from the airport? I think not.”

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Would you like to access all the funny content while you’re on the move?

Perhaps you prefer to listen rather than read. Well, why wouldn’t you?

Imagine having unlimited access to the funniest audiobooks, comedy specials, and laugh-out-loud performances anytime, anywhere.

Well, that is precisely what you get with Audible.

Quite simply, it is a game-changer for comedy enthusiasts!

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Why Audible is essential for comedy fans:

Instant access to top comedy titles: Whether it is classic works by legends like George Carlin and Dave Chappelle or the newest releases from today’s hottest comedians (think Kevin Hart, Ali Wong, or Trevor Noah), Audible has a vast library that is packed with comedy gold. Whatever your preference, you’ll always find something to tickle your funny bone.

Hear the jokes come to life: Reading comedy is one thing, but hearing it delivered by the original performer takes the experience to another level. The timing, tone, and energy of a live performance shine through in audiobooks, making every punchline land with greater impact.

Laugh on the go: Whether you’re stuck in traffic, sitting on a bus, or just waiting in line, an Audible subscription can turn even dull moments into a comedy club experience. Just put on your headphones and let the funniest comedians turn your commute or workout into a laugh fest.

Exclusive comedy originals:?If you don’t know it, Audible produces original comedy content you won’t find anywhere else, featuring top-tier comedians in special performances, improv shows, and behind-the-scenes storytelling.

Flexible listening, risk-free:?Don’t forget that there’s a trial and easy exchanges if a title isn’t your style. Audible makes it simple to explore new comedians without buyer’s remorse. Plus, you keep your books even if you cancel!

So, don’t just read comedy, experience it!

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DISCLOSURE: I am an Amazon affiliate. If you subscribe to Audible or make a purchase via the links provided, please be aware that I will receive a small commission. However, there will not be any additional cost to you. Your understanding is appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.

Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these funny jokes, dear reader, then please share this post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

Please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

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21 silly jokes guaranteed to make your kids smile

07/09/2026 by Roy Sutton

Kids love silly jokes, and quite a few adults do too, including me. Whenever I hear silly jokes, I always make a note of them in my journal. Well, they’re always useful for breaking the ice at dinner parties, if nothing else.

Anyway, today I thought I’d trawl through my journal and put together a collection of some of the best silly jokes just for you, dear reader. I hope you enjoy them all.

Certainly, I did, both the first time around and on reviewing them now.

Yes, they’re all very silly, but they’re guaranteed to make your kids smile.

Silly Jokes:

Why did the ant elope?
Nobody gnu

Why do skunks argue?
They like to kick up a stink

How do you arrest a pig?
Put it in ham cuffs

Why do horses look sad?
They have long faces

Why do coyotes call at night?
The rates are cheaper

What animal never gets wet?
An umbrellephant

What makes a chicken blush?
Henbarrassment

In what key does a cow sing?
Beef flat

Why don’t anteaters get sick?
They’re full of antibodies

How do rodents keep their breath fresh?
Using mousewash

What did the parrot say to the spaniel?
I’m a cocker too

How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, Hubble, Hubble

Why are giraffes brave?
Because they’re always sticking their next out

How many skunks does it take to stink out a room?
A phew

How does a dolphin make a decision?
Flipper coin

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
You get a buzzy tone

What’s even better than the cat’s whiskers?
The bee’s knees

What happened when two American stoats got married?
They became the United Stoats of America

What do you get from a chicken who’s been drinking whisky?
Scotch eggs

What’s goes through a fly’s mind on impact with your windscreen?
Its ass

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these silly jokes made you smile, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

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Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, Cheesy Jokes, fun, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Life, Silly Jokes, smile, Stress-free

17 cheesy jokes guaranteed to raise a smile

07/03/2026 by Roy Sutton

If you like cheesy jokes, this post is for you.

I’ve been surfing the Internet looking for humour and smiles.

On this occasion, I was specifically looking for cheesy jokes.

And I found 17 cheesy jokes that made me smile. I hope they make you smile today, too.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t identify the authors, but should you be one of them, please let me know, and I will add a suitable credit and link to your work.

Cheesy jokes:

What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
UCLA

Which US State has the smallest soft drinks?
Mini-soda

Where do pencils go for vacation?
Pencil-vania

What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer?
A loose Canon

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A Bagel

Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll

Why did the poor man sell yeast?
To raise some dough

How do snails fight?
They slug it out

Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!

What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
I just love baskin’ robins

What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold, hard cash!

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.

How does NASA organize a party?
They planet

What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
Quattro Sinko

Please share this post with your friends:

So, dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Were these cheesy quotes funny? Did they make you smile? If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

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33 Corny puns and funny jokes to cheer someone up

06/30/2026 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for funny jokes to cheer someone up, this post is for you.

We live in difficult times, and we all face so many pressures. When our friends are down, we try to lift their spirits. And for that, it helps if we have a few corny puns and funny jokes to cheer someone up.

Well, today, I’ve curated another 33 gems just for you, dear reader.

At least I think they’re gems. So I hope they’ll make you laugh too. Some might be a bit too corny, but I’m confident some will tickle you.

Enjoy them and don’t forget to share them too.

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (1-11)

Nothing tops plain pizza.

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

Seven days of fasting will make one weak.

What do you call a hippy’s wife? Mississippi.

I tried eating a clock, but it was time-consuming.

I wanted to be a monk, but I never got the chants.

Autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.

I was never a fan of San Andreas. It’s not my fault.

Dead batteries cost nothing. They’re free of charge.

The girl in the middle of the tennis court is Annette.

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (12-22)

Ask yourself if it’s wise to eat at Sam and Ella’s diner?

Cemetery raises prices and blames it on the cost of living.

I will start collecting highlighting pens. Mark my words.

I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.

My dogs are called Rolex and Breitling. They’re watchdogs.

What does the pizza man use to cut his hair? Little Caesars.

I pulled a muscle digging for gold. It was just a miner injury.

What do you call a cow that can’t give milk? An udder failure.

Water’s heavier than Butane because Butane is a Lighter fluid.

When a wolf is taught to meditate, does it become aware wolf?

I started an online bakery but I accidentally deleted all my cookies.

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (23-33)

Lego store re-opens after lockdown. People stand in line for blocks.

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? Because it lifts their spirits.

My daughter wants to study burrowing rodents. I told her to gopher it.

I’m reading a book called “Quick Money for Dummies” by Robin Banks.

I wanted a career as a fisherman, but I couldn’t live on the net income.

If you wear a facemask and glasses, you may be entitled to condensation.

Beauty School student misses classes. She’s forced to make up the makeup test.

If two meth-heads start a relationship are they “speed dating” or just “mething around”.

My wife said she’d leave me if I made up any more puns about The Monkees. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face …..

DOCTOR: Nurse, what’s the status on the boy who swallowed a coin? NURSE: Still no change, Doctor.

Dear Algebra, Please stop asking me to find your X. She’s not coming back and don’t ask Y.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you enjoy these corny puns and funny jokes to cheer someone up? Were they as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

I hope so anyway.

If that’s the case, please share this blog post with your friends, because when you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now on social media. If you can do that for me, I will be forever grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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25 silly jokes that are laugh out loud funny

06/29/2026 by Roy Sutton

Here’s another batch of short and silly but laugh out loud funny jokes just for you, dear reader.

Laughter is the best medicine, and we all need laugh out loud funny jokes to brighten our challenging lives.

So grab a coffee and take a few moments to enjoy these laugh out loud funny jokes right now.

I hope they give you a few minutes of pleasure to brighten your day.

Laugh out loud funny:

If I’m nobody;
And nobody’s perfect;
Then I must be perfect.

Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.

How do you befriend a squirrel?
Act like a nut.

Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
Because they kept dropping their trunks.

What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
A chilly dog.

What do call you a row of bunnies moving backwards?
A receding hare line.

Why was the paediatrician always losing his temper?
Because he had little patients.

What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel it’s good enough?
Impasta syndrome.

Would you like to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.
I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
He cried and gave me a big hug.

My wife was complaining that I never take her anywhere expensive.
So I said, “Come on, get in the car; we’re going to the gas station.”

They say 40 is the new 30
But try telling that to a traffic cop.

Relationships are like algebra.
You look at your X and wonder Y.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
BREATH!

What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.

You could say it was an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tears.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.

A guy assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter.
How dairy.

My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim’s improving.

I own a pencil once owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

People didn’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
So I decided to raise the bar.

The World Tongue-Twister Champion was up before the judge in court.
I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.

I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It’s a complex complex complex.

I hate insects puns.
They really bug me.

I’ve been trying to lose weight.
But it keeps finding me.

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So did these rib-tickling jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Articles you might enjoy:

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Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, humor, humour, Influencers, Inspiration, jokes, Laugh, laugh out loud funny, Life, LOL, Meaning, smile, Stress-free

25 brilliant one-liners guaranteed to make you smile

06/27/2026 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for some brilliant one-liners, dear reader, I have some gems for you today.

There’s so much on the Internet and so little time to read it all. And what we all need is a good laugh. The problem is that we haven’t got time to read all the longer jokes.

Worry not. Help is at hand. Here are 25 brilliant one-liners guaranteed to make you smile.

Certainly, they all made me smile.

They’ll only consume 30 seconds of your time, and they’re well worth the effort.

And of course, laughter is the best medicine. So rather than take medication, you can have a good laugh instead.

Surely that’s a win-win situation? Go on, enjoy them all now.

Brilliant one-liners (1-10):

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

If photons have mass does that mean they’re Catholic?

I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me.

If I had a dollar for every smart person I know I’d be broke.

A liberal is just a conservative who hasn’t been mugged yet.

Brilliant one-liners (11-20):

I never make mistakes. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.

Can you increase the bounciness of a waterbed by using spring water?

If you can’t beat them, you could always arrange to have them beaten.

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

I saw a sign that said, “Watch for Children,” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So, we compromised and got a puppy.

Why is the day you do your housework, laundry, cooking, and ironing called a day off?

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend actually thinking.

Brilliant one-liners (21-25):

You know they’re a real friend when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.

I’m great at multitasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

If a woman wants to scare a man, the only question she needs to ask is, “Do you know what day it is today?”

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day to survive. It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

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So did any of these prove to be the brilliant one-liners you’d hoped for, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you.

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27 Quotes by Groucho Marx to amuse you

06/23/2026 by Roy Sutton

Groucho Marx, born Julius Henry Marx, was an American comedian, writer, stage, film, radio, and television star and part of the successful and immensely popular comedy act known as The Marx Brothers.

Groucho was known for his quick wit, and he is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era.

With his siblings, the Marx Brothers, Groucho Marx made 13 feature films, but he also had a successful solo career in radio and television.

Here are 27 quotes by Groucho Marx that illustrate his quick wit.

Quotes by Groucho Marx (1-10):

I intend to live forever or die trying.
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.

Quotes by Groucho Marx (11-20):

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife.
Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well, I have others.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.

Quotes by Groucho Marx (21-27):

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you’ve got it made.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him. If he says yes, you know he’s a crook.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I’ll never know.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

Did you find these quotes by Groucho Marx as interesting and amusing as you’d hoped, dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If that is the case, then please share them with your friends because when you share, everyone wins.

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Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, humor, humour, Influencers, Inspiration, Inspirational Quotes, Life, Meaning, Motivation, Motivational Quotes, Philosophy, quotes, Quotes by Groucho Marx, Wisdom

3 Really funny jokes to tell your friends today

06/18/2026 by Roy Sutton

If you want people to like you, then always have a funny joke to make them laugh. Here are some very funny jokes to tell your friends today.

They all made me laugh, and I hope they’ll make you and your friends laugh too.

Enjoy them all.

Funny jokes to tell your friends:

1. The infected thumb:

Bill’s away from home on a business trip and, as he’s on expenses, he decides he’ll have a nice three-course meal in a restaurant.

He takes his seat at the table, exchanges a little conversation with the waitress, places his order and then relaxes with a glass of red wine waiting for his food to arrive.

It’s not long before the waitress brings him a nice, warm bowl of clam chowder with crackers. However, he can’t help but notice that her thumb is sticking in the chowder. He’s not happy but he lets it go.

A little later, the waitress arrives with a plate filled with delicious Spaghetti Carbonara but once again, her thumb is immersed in the spaghetti. Again, Bill’s not happy but he lets it go.

Then as he’s looking forward to his dessert, the waitress returns with some hot apple pie, but once again her thumb is sticking in Bill’s food.

“Mam”, says Bill angrily, “every time you bring my food your thumb’s sticking in it. Why is that?”

“Oh I am so sorry sir”, the waitress responds, “but my thumb has an infection and my doctor says I must keep it warm and moist at all times.”

Disgusted by what he’s hearing, Bill snaps angrily, “Well, why don’t you just stick it up your ass?”

Sheepishly the waitress replies, “Where do you think I’ve been putting it when I’m in the kitchen?”

2. The fishing trip:

Four married men are going on a weekend fishing trip.

They’re exchanging banter in the car on the way to the lake when Jim says, “Guys, you’ve no idea what I had to do to persuade my wife to agree to me joining you on this trip. I’ve had to promise to redecorate the living room and our bedroom next weekend.”

“That’s nothing”, says Mike. “I had to promise my wife that I would build a new deck around the pool area next weekend.”

“You both had it easy”, says Ed. “I had to promise my wife that I’d buy her a new kitchen, as well as pay for her to go fashion shopping in Milan, Italy with her friends next summer.”

They carry on down the highway laughing and joking, but then they realize their friend Vic has yet to say anything.

“Hey Vic”, says Jim, “what did you have to do to get the green light to come with us on this fishing weekend?”

“Not much really”, says Vic, “I just set the alarm for 5.30 am. When it went off, I tapped my wife on the shoulder and said, ‘will you make love with me or should I go fishing?’ to which she responded, ‘take a warm sweater with you, dear.’”

3. The well and the goat:

Two friends, Bert and Mack were out walking one day when they came across an old abandoned well.

Naturally, they were curious as to how deep this well might be, so they dropped a stone down it and listened for the sound of the stone hitting the bottom. But they didn’t hear anything.

So they found a much larger rock and then dropped that down the well but still, they didn’t hear anything.

Clearly, this was a very deep well and they needed something much, much bigger if they were going to hear anything at all.

So Bert and Mack searched around for a while and eventually they found a section of railroad track leaning up against a wall.

“This’ll be perfect”, said Bert.

So between them, they lifted this heavy piece of cast iron and with great effort managed to carry back to the well and drop it down the hole.

As they stood back to listen, a goat suddenly flashed past their eyes and went straight down the well too.

Bert and Mack were still recovering from the shock resulting from what they’d just seen when a farmer appeared.

“Have you boys seen a goat?” asked the farmer.

“Yes”, said Mack, “a goat has just jumped down this well.”

“No, that couldn’t have been my goat”, said the farmer. “Mine was tethered to a heavy length of railroad track.”

Please share this post:

So dear reader, were these funny jokes to tell your friends as amusing as you’d hoped? Were they worth a few minutes of your time?

I hope so. If they did make you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, funny jokes to tell your friends, funny short story jokes, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, short story jokes, smile

22 bad puns that are so bad they’re funny

06/17/2026 by Roy Sutton

If you’re searching for bad puns, this post is for you.

I love puns, as you may have seen in some previous blog posts. The clever use of words always makes me smile. Whether they’re good puns or bad puns, they usually make me laugh.

Today my focus is on bad puns for a change.

So, here are 22 bad puns that reflect on why so many professionals never die.

I hope they brighten your day or, at least, don’t make you groan too much.

Enjoy them all now.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Bad Puns:

Old owls never die they just don’t give a hoot.
Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.
Old sculptors never die they just lose their marbles.
Old professors never die they just lose their class.
Old limbo dancers never die they just go under.
Old chemists never die they just fail to react.
Old mathematicians never die they just disintegrate.
Old investors never die they just roll over.
Old printers never die they’re just not the type.
Old sanitation engineers never die they’re just dumped.
Old police officers never die they just cop out.
Old bankers never die they just lose interest.
Old sewage workers never die they just waste away.
Old electricians never die they just lose contact.
Old accountants never die they just lose their figures.
Old photographers never die they just stop developing.
Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
Old tailors never die they just get stitched up.
Old chauffeurs never die they just lose their drive.
Old quarterbacks never die they just pass away.
Old cleaners never die they just kick the bucket.
Old cooks never die they just get deranged.

Can you add another one?

On the theme of old professionals never dying, can you add another one to this list?

Maybe you could make one up and entertain our readers? Perhaps a pun related to your profession or hobby? I’ll bet you can, dear reader.

Go on, have a go at writing one of your own, and send it to me via the Contact Page.

The page will then be updated and you’ll get a full acknowledgement on this post for your contribution

I’m confident readers will have lots of great ideas. So go on, let me have them now.

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Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, bad puns, fun, funny, humor, humour, Life, Meaning, Puns, quotes, smile, Stress-free

25 witty puns and jokes to cheer someone up

06/06/2026 by Roy Sutton

Today I offer you 25 witty puns and jokes to cheer someone up. If you know someone in serious need of a smile or two, then some of these might just make them laugh.

So take a few minutes to enjoy them all, and then pick the best ones and see if you can get a good laugh from your friends.

Even if it’s only a groan you get in return, it will probably lift people’s spirits, at the very least.

Jokes to cheer someone up: (1 – 12)

If at first you don’t succeed, then don’t try skydiving.

If a drummer comes out of retirement, will there be repercussions?

I never like taking selfies of myself in the shower. The photos turn out blurry, and I have selfie steam issues.

You should keep your voice down in cornfields because there are so many ears.

I used to be a watchmaker. I loved the job because I made my own hours.

If your guy doesn’t like fresh fruit puns, let the mango.

I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.

Will glass coffins ever be popular? Remains to be seen.

I tried the vegan diet for a week, but it was a huge miss steak.

Apparently, you can’t use BEEFSTEW as a password because it’s not Stroganoff.

I was listening to classical music on the television, but it wasn’t to my taste. Far too much sax and violins.

Did you hear about the watchmaker who became a gardener? He ended up with too much thyme on his hands.

Jokes to cheer someone up: (13 – 25)

I made a movie about diarrhea. It’s been released everywhere.

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars were all in the same bar. They didn’t planet that way.

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish. Unless you play bass, then you can play all the scales.

So many people are anti-vaccination, but I think they should give it a shot.

I saw an advertisement in the newspaper for burial plots. I thought that’s the last thing I need.

My girlfriend bet me $100 that I couldn’t build a car from spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

I went to Mount Rushmore and I was probably the only visitor unimpressed. Perhaps I just took it for granite.

Can someone recommend a better way of clearing frost from my windshield? I used a discount card but I only got 20% off.

My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl. “I didn’t know he could!” was my reply.

A man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun. I was told that he’s fully recovered now.

My wife’s in the hospital after eating a daffodil bulb. She’ll be out in the spring.

Lance is no longer a common name, but in medieval times, men were named Lance a lot.

There’s a new GPS device designed for seniors. It tells you how to get where you want to go and then reminds you why you wanted to go there.

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Did you enjoy these witty puns and jokes to cheer someone up? Were they as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

I hope so anyway.

If that’s the case, then please share this blog post with your friends, because when you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now on social media. If you can do that for me then I will be truly grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support.

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Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, corny jokes, Corny Puns, fun, funny, humor, humour, jokes, jokes to cheer someone up, Laugh Out Loud, Witty, witty one liners, witty one-liner jokes, Witty puns

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Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (1-11)

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (12-22)

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (23-33)

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Jokes to cheer someone up: (1 – 12)

Jokes to cheer someone up: (13 – 25)

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