25 brilliant one-liners guaranteed to make you smile

Brilliant One-LinersThere’s so much stuff on the Internet and so little time to read it all. We need to laugh but we haven’t got time to read all the longer jokes.

Worry not dear reader. Help is at hand. Here are 25 brilliant one-liners guaranteed to make you smile.

Certainly, they all made me smile.

They’ll only consume 30 seconds of your time and they’re well worth the effort.

And of course, laughter is the best medicine. So rather than take medication, you can have a good laugh instead.

Surely that’s a win-win situation? Go on, enjoy them all now.

Brilliant one-liners (1-10):

  1. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  2. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  3. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
  4. If photons have mass does that mean they’re Catholic?
  5. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
  6. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
  7. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  8. I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me.
  9. If I had a dollar for every smart person I know I’d be broke.
  10. A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.

Brilliant one-liners (11-20):

  1. I never make mistakes. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
  2. The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.
  3. Can you increase the bounciness of a waterbed by using spring water?
  4. If you can’t beat them, you could always arrange to have them beaten.
  5. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
  6. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  7. I saw a sign that said, “Watch for Children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
  8. She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So, we compromised and got a puppy.
  9. Why is the day you do your housework, laundry, cooking, and ironing called a day off?
  10. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend actually thinking.

Brilliant one-liners (21-25):

  1. You know they’re a real friend when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.
  2. I’m great at multitasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
  3. If a woman wants to scare a man the only question she needs to ask is, “Do you know what day it is today?”
  4. When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day to survive. It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.
  5. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Please share with your friends:

So did any of these prove to be the brilliant one-liners you’d hoped for dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you.

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