15 memorable Cosmo Kramer quotes to brighten your day

02/14/2026 by
15 memorable Cosmo Kramer quotes

Today, I am exploring Cosmo Kramer quotes.

One of the most memorable sitcom characters of all time has to be Cosmo Kramer in Seinfeld, played by the excellent Michael Richards. So let’s take a look back at some of the best Cosmo Kramer quotes that made us all smile back in the day.

If you’re not old enough to remember the sitcom Seinfeld and Cosmo Kramer, in particular, then you’ll find plenty of amusing clips from this sitcom on YouTube. They’re all brilliant and well worth a little bit of your time.

So check them out, but not before you’ve enjoyed these 15 memorable Cosmo Kramer quotes, which I hope will brighten your day.

Cosmo Kramer quotes
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Cosmo Kramer Quotes:

  1. Look away, I’m hideous.
  2. She’s got the Jimmy legs!
  3. Moles … freckles’ ugly cousin.
  4. Just make love to that wall, pervert.
  5. You’re as pretty as any of them. You just need a nose job.
  6. Yeah, don’t worry, Jerry. We’re right on this guy like stink on a monkey.
  7. Because I’m like ice, buddy. When I don’t like you, you’ve got problems.
  8. Well, you know what they say, you don’t sell the steak; you sell the sizzle.
  9. There’s nothing more pathetic than a grown man who’s afraid of a woman.
  10. Jerry, my face is my livelihood, my allure, my twinkle! Everything I have, I owe to this face.
  11. Now, what does the little man inside you say? See, you gotta listen to the little man.
  12. Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint – it’s delicious.
  13. I love the name ‘Isosceles.’ If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.
  14. If everybody knew everybody, we wouldn’t have the problems we have in the world today. Well, you don’t rob somebody if you know their name!
  15. Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humour. You meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find any of these Cosmo Kramer quotes memorable and amusing, dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If you enjoyed them, please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you can do that for me, then I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience, and that will be your good deed for the day.

Thank you.

Phil Sutton

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All rights reserved.

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5 of the best funny jokes you’ll read today

02/14/2026 by

Looking for some of the best funny jokes to brighten your day? Then there are 5 little gems here that should make you smile.

Enjoy them all, and please feel free to share them.

Best Funny Jokes
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Best funny jokes:

1. Career change:

Bill’s a gynaecologist by profession, but he was getting bored with his job, so he decided that it was time for a career change.

In his spare time, Bill had always had a passion for fast cars, so getting involved with cars in some way seemed like a good thing to do.

After a few weeks of reflection, Bill decides to retrain as a car mechanic.

He takes a course at his local adult education college and studies very hard.

Eventually, it’s time for him to take the official examination to qualify as a car mechanic.

Now Bill needs to get a minimum score of 60% if he’s to pass the exam but he finishes with a score of 110%.

Well, the college principal is puzzled. How can anyone get 110%?

So, he calls in the examiner and asks, “How is it that this guy was given 110% in the exam? You think he’s something special just because he used to be a doctor?”

“Well, sir,” said the examiner, “his theoretical test was perfect, and his practical test was exceptional. I asked him to tune the engine. He did it perfectly. I asked him to change the oil. Again, he did it perfectly. And then I asked him to change the spark plugs. Yet again, he did it perfectly.”

“So what?” says the principal. “He did everything right, so that usually means 100%, surely? Why 110%?”

“He did everything through the exhaust pipe,” the examiner replied.

2. The new restaurant:

Jack and Barney were two elderly gentlemen sitting and talking in Jack’s living room.

Eventually, their conversation touches on the subject of food.

“Hey,” says Jack, “last week we went out to a new restaurant, and the food was fantastic. I would definitely recommend it.”

“Really?” says Barney. “What’s the name of this restaurant?“

Well, Jack had to give that some thought, as his memory wasn’t what it was.

After a few moments, Jack said, “What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? The red one with thorns.”

“You mean a rose?” said Barney.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Jack replied.

He then turns towards the kitchen and yells, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last week?“

3. Memory problems:

Arthur, Chester, and Clarence are three elderly brothers who are 92, 94, and 96, respectively, and still living together.

One night Clarence fills his bathtub with water, ready to take a bath. After a few moments, he puts his right foot in the tub and then pauses momentarily.

He then yells down to his brothers, “Was I getting in or out of the tub?“

Chester yells back immediately, “I don’t know, Clarence. Give me a moment, and I’ll come upstairs and check it for you.”

With that, Chester starts climbing the stairs.

After taking a few steps, he pauses. He then yells, “Was I going up the stairs or down?“

Arthur is sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, and he can’t help smiling at his brothers’ memory problems.

He shakes his head and then says, “Jeez, I hope I never get as forgetful as you two.“

With that, Arthur knocks on the wooden table a couple of times for good luck.

He then pauses before he yells, “I’ll be up to help both of you in a minute, as soon as I see who’s at the door.“

4. Spanish vacation:

Jane and Phil are a married couple who are taking a well-earned vacation in Spain.

After a day of sightseeing, they decide to go to a nice Spanish restaurant for dinner.

As they’re being seated at their table, they can’t help but notice that the couple on the next table are being served a dish with two of the largest meatballs they’ve ever seen.

When the waiter arrives to take their order, Phil asks, “The meatball dish the couple on the next table is having looks delicious; what is it?”

The waiter smiles and then says, “Señor, the meatballs are the testicles from the bull killed in the bullfight this afternoon. This dish is a classic in Spain.”

It looks great, says Phil. “We’ve decided we’re both going to try it.”

“Ah, señor,” the waiter responds, “for this dish we only have one serving each day, for obvious reasons. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we can hold them for you.”

Determined to try this classic Spanish dish, the couple arrive early the following day to place their order.

They sit at their table, enjoying a glass of Sangria whilst they wait for their much-anticipated meatball dish.

Eventually, the dish arrives, but the meatballs are disappointingly small.

Phil calls the waiter over and says, “What’s this? Yesterday’s testicles were enormous. Today they’re tiny in comparison.”

The waiter smiles politely and then says, “Señor, I’m so sorry, but today the bull won.”

5. Pay attention:

A college professor is starting the new academic year with the Veterinary Medicine 101 class.

The professor welcomes the new class and then says, “In veterinary medicine, there are two important qualities you’ll need as a veterinarian. The first quality is that you must never be disgusted by anything involving an animal’s body.“

The professor paused momentarily to allow the class time to reflect on his comment.

He then pulled back the sheet in front of him and stuck his finger into the butt of the dead cow that was under the sheet. After a moment he withdrew his finger and immediately stuck his finger into his mouth.

“Now, go ahead,” said the professor to the students. “I want you to do what I’ve just done.”

Well, there was much hysteria in the class, and they all hesitated for several minutes before anyone was willing to have a go. However, eventually, they all took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and then sucking it. Naturally, this was followed by a lot of retching and spitting.

Once they’d all had the chance to complete this first task, the professor continued, “Now the second most important quality you’ll need as a Veterinarian is observation.”

Once again, he paused momentarily to allow the class time to reflect on his comment.

“If you’d been watching me carefully,” the professor continued, “you’d have noticed that it was my middle finger that I inserted into the cow. Whereas it was my index finger that I sucked. So, today’s lesson is this. You’ll need to learn to pay attention if you’re going to succeed as a vet.”

Phil Sutton

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So, were any of these the best funny jokes you’ve read today, dear reader? I hope so.

However, perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh. If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today, then please share these jokes with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support.

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Wisdom from India: 33 proverbs and quotes

02/14/2026 by

India is a vast country with an enormous population, and it’s a source of great wisdom too. Many great thinkers have been influenced by wisdom from India.

So today, let’s explore some wisdom from India in the form of proverbs, sayings, and quotes.

I have the greatest respect for India, its traditions, and its culture, and I’ve learned much from Indian philosophy and thinking.

So take a few moments and reflect on some of the wisdom from one of the greatest civilizations on this planet we call Earth.

Wisdom from India
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Wisdom from India (1-20):

  1. If you can, you must. ~Bikram Choudhury
  2. There is no hand to catch time. ~Indian Proverb
  3. Alertness and courage are life’s shields. ~Indian Wisdom
  4. When the flower blooms, the bees come uninvited. ~Ramakrishna
  5. Where the needle goes, the thread follows. ~Indian Proverb
  6. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. ~Indira Gandhi
  7. What was hard to bear is sweet to remember. ~Indian Wisdom
  8. Great anger is more destructive than the sword. ~Indian Wisdom
  9. Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow but a vision. ~Indian Wisdom
  10. Don’t bargain for fish that are still in the water. ~Indian Wisdom
  11. Pull someone by the ears, and his head will follow. ~Indian Proverb
  12. Walking slowly, even the donkey will reach Lhasa. ~Indian Proverb
  13. Self-belief and hard work will always earn you success. ~Virat Kohli
  14. The eyes do not see what the mind does not want. ~Indian Wisdom
  15. The fruit of your own hard work is the sweetest. ~Deepika Padukone
  16. I have lanced many boils, but none pained like my own. ~Indian Proverb
  17. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  18. Success is not a good teacher, failure makes you humble. ~Shah Rukh Khan
  19. Let come what comes, let go what goes. See what remains. ~Ramana Maharshi
  20. Cultivation of the mind should be the ultimate aim of human existence. ~BR Ambedkar

Wisdom from India (21-33):

  1. They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing. ~Indian Proverb
  2. I had no shoes and complained until I saw a man who had no feet. ~Indian Wisdom
  3. Certain things capture the eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. ~Indian Wisdom
  4. What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist. ~Salman Rushdie
  5. Excellence endures and sustains. It goes beyond motivation into the realm of inspiration. ~Azim Premji
  6. You can take the Indian out of the family, but you cannot take the family out of the Indian. ~Amit Kalantri
  7. Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret to success. ~Swami Sivananda
  8. You sometimes forget the harm that was done to you, but never the harm you have done to others. ~Indian Wisdom
  9. There’s nothing noble in being superior to some other man. True nobility is in being superior to your former self. ~Indian Wisdom
  10. Happiness radiates like the fragrance of a flower and draws all good things towards you. ~Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
  11. We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far. ~Swami Vivekananda
  12. A man is born alone and dies alone, and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone, and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode. ~Chanakya
  13. We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made. ~Albert Einstein
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If you did, then please share this post with your friends, because when you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now on social media. If you can do that for me, I’ll be forever grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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9 best quotes to inspire you today

02/14/2026 by

Here are 9 of the best quotes to inspire you.

These are quotes from thought leaders intended to make you think.

They are words of wisdom full of inspiration.

Inspiration is energy, and if you can capture that energy, you can go on to become all you could be. And that should be our life’s purpose, surely? To be all we could be.

If you aspire to be more than you are now, then let these words of wisdom be the wind beneath your wings.

Best Quotes to Inspire You
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Best quotes to inspire you:

  1. Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. ~EE Cummings
  2. A Number 2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere. ~Joyce Meyer
  3. Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. ~Jim Rohn
  4. In a gentle way, you can shake the world. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  5. Follow your bliss, and the universe will open doors where there were once only walls. ~Joseph Campbell
  6. It is always the simple that produces the marvellous. ~Amelia Barr
  7. The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. ~Bertrand Russell
  8. Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality. ~Malala Yousafzai
  9. All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. ~Earl Nightingale

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If you found these quotes inspiring and interesting, then please share them on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share now. If you do, I’ll be ever so grateful.

Thank you for your support.

Phil Sutton

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7 citas sobre el amor para ti

02/14/2026 by

Hoy te ofrezco siete citas sobre el amor.

Todos necesitamos amor y necesitamos sentir amor, ¿no estás de acuerdo, querido lector?

Los seres humanos somos criaturas emocionales y sociales y todos necesitamos a otras personas.

Necesitamos sentir que le importamos a otras personas. Y, por supuesto, también nos importan otras personas. Nuestra familia, nuestros amigos y nuestros seres queridos.

Sentimos amor por aquellos que nos importan y nuestro mayor amor es por esa persona especial que más importa.

Sentimos nuestro mayor amor por esa persona en cuya compañía siempre sentimos una sensación de satisfacción.

Si ha encontrado a esa persona especial, entonces tal vez debería arrodillarse y agradecer a Dios por el privilegio porque es realmente afortunado. No todo el mundo tiene tanta suerte.

Aquí hay 7 citas inspiradoras sobre el amor que te ayudarán a reflexionar sobre esta compleja emoción.

Sin embargo, recuerde esto; el amor por sí solo no sostendrá una relación.

Eso requiere trabajo duro y estar preparado para hacer concesiones, con frecuencia.

Sin embargo, sin amor, una relación no tiene ninguna posibilidad.

Si realmente amas a alguien, querrás lo mejor para ellos y estarás preparado para dejar de lado tus propias necesidades de vez en cuando para asegurarte de que sus necesidades también se satisfagan.

En una relación exitosa, todas las partes deben sentir que se respetan y satisfacen sus necesidades, al menos la mayor parte del tiempo.

Amor significa que no puedes salirte con la tuya todo el tiempo.

7 citas inspiradoras sobre el amor
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Citas sobre el amor:

  1. Donde hay amor hay vida. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  2. Solo hay una felicidad en esta vida, amar y ser amado. ~George Sand
  3. Una flor no puede florecer sin el sol y el hombre no puede vivir sin amor. ~Max Muller
  4. A veces, el corazón ve lo que es invisible a los ojos. ~H Jackson Brown
  5. Manten el amor en tu corazon. Una vida sin ella es como un jardín sin sol cuando las flores están muertas. ~Oscar Wilde
  6. Lo mejor a lo que aferrarse en la vida es el uno al otro. ~Audrey Hepburn
  7. El amor es la amistad que se ha encendido. Es comprensión tranquila, confianza mutua, compartir y perdonar. Es lealtad en los buenos y malos momentos. Se conforma con menos que la perfección y tiene en cuenta las debilidades humanas. ~Ann Landers

Comparta estas citas con sus amigos:

Si estas citas te parecieron inspiradoras e interesantes, comparte esta publicación de blog en las redes sociales con tus amigos. Cuando compartes, todos ganan.

Así que continúa, comparte esta publicación ahora.

Si lo hace, estaré muy agradecido y ayudará a un bloguero entusiasta a llegar a una audiencia más amplia.

Gracias.

Phil Sutton

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15 Quotes by Moms Mabley that are worth sharing

02/13/2026 by

Today, I am exploring quotes by Moms Mabley.

Now, I must confess that I was not familiar with the work of African American comedienne Jackie “Moms” Mabley until relatively recently.

However, I stumbled on her work by accident on YouTube, and I was intrigued by her. So naturally, I went in search of some information about her, as well as some quotes by Moms Mabley.

Born Loretta Mary Aiken, she adopted the stage name Moms Mabley, and she was a veteran of the Chitlin’ Circuit of African-American vaudeville.

She also appeared on legendary American television shows such as The Ed Sullivan Show and The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. She’s also one of the earliest examples of women in comedy.

Born in 1894, Moms Mabley was one of 16 children, and like most African Americans of her day, particularly women, she’d had a tough early life.

At the encouragement of her grandmother, she ran away and joined a travelling minstrel show where she sang and entertained. Her stage persona was that of an older, dishevelled woman.

Certainly, she was a woman on whom life had left its mark. For instance, by the age of 14, she had been raped twice (at age 11, by an elderly black man, and at age 13, by a white sheriff) and had two children who were given up for adoption.

At the age of 27, she came out as a lesbian, becoming one of the first openly gay comedians. That wouldn’t have been easy in the less enlightened age in which she lived and tried to earn a living.

So if you’re not familiar with Moms Mabley, I recommend you take a closer look at her work, but not before you read these 15 quotes by Moms Mabley.

15 Quotes by Moms Mabley
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Quotes by Moms Mabley:

  1. Quit it if you can’t do nothin’ with it. ~Moms Mabley
  2. Use those brains that God put in your head. ~Moms Mabley
  3. It’s no disgrace to be old but damn if it isn’t inconvenient. ~Moms Mabley
  4. [On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it. ~Moms Mabley
  5. [Advice to children crossing the street] Damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain’t never killed nobody. ~Moms Mabley
  6. You know Moms has been accused of liking young men and I’m guilty. ~Moms Mabley
  7. Any time you see me with my arms around an old man, I’m holding him for the police. ~Moms Mabley
  8. My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick. ~Moms Mabley
  9. Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move. ~Moms Mabley
  10. Ain’t nothin’ an ol’ man can do but bring me a message from a young one. ~Moms Mabley
  11. I don’t want nothing old, but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That’s what I’m gonna do with it. ~Moms Mabley
  12. The teenagers aren’t all bad. I love ’em if nobody else does. There ain’t nothing wrong with young people. Jus’ quit lyin’ to ’em. ~Moms Mabley
  13. Never lose your head, not even for a minute. You need your head. Your brain’s in it. ~Moms Mabley
  14. Without that basic foundation in showmanship, an act can’t remain at the top. Half of the children nowadays don’t even know how to take a bow. ~Moms Mabley
  15. Black women, white women; all of them. I’m colourblind. I don’t know the difference. I only know you’re a human being and you’re my children. ~Moms Mabley

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If you enjoyed these quotes by Moms Mabley, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

If you could share this post now, then I’d appreciate it. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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15 Quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche to inspire you

02/13/2026 by

Today, I am exploring quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche.

Friedrich Nietzsche was a German philosopher, cultural critic, composer, poet, philologist, and scholar whose work had a profound influence on Western philosophy and cultural thought.

So, here are 15 quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche that made me pause to reflect, and they will make you think a little, too, I suspect.

5 Quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche
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Quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche:

  1. Everything matters. Nothing’s important. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  2. Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  3. Call me whatever you like; I am who I must be. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  4. Loneliness is one thing, solitude another. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  5. You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way and the only way, it does not exist. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  6. Without music, life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  7. It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  8. The real question is, how much truth can I stand? ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  9. There are two different types of people in the world, those who want to know and those who want to believe. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  10. In heaven, all the interesting people are missing. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  11. Do you want to have an easy life? Then always stay with the herd and lose yourself in the herd. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  12. And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  13. The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  14. There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  15. I’m not upset that you lied to me. I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

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If you could share this post now, then I’d really appreciate it. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for being so supportive.

Phil Sutton

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27 cheesy dad jokes that will tickle you silly

02/12/2026 by

If you’re looking for some cheesy dad jokes, then here are 27 little gems that might just tickle you.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all.

Cheesy Dad Jokes

Cheesy Dad Jokes:

I never liked insect puns. They bug me.

I love eye jokes. The cornea the better.

I used to be a floating voter.  Now I’m sunk.

I don’t like Greek yoghurt. It’s a culture difference.

I was so bad at art in school, it’s a wonder I can draw breath.

I’m reading a book called The History of Glue. I can’t put it down.

I saw a parrot wearing a raincoat. I’m told it was polyunsaturated.

I asked a girl in the office for a date. She told me to buy my own fruit.

I’m looking for a new telekinesis class. My old one moved unexpectedly.

I’ve developed a Bible for the visually impaired. It’s called the Holy Braille.

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I saw an insect that kept dropping things. Apparently, it was a fumble bee.

I’ve been hired by a guillotine factory in Paris. Be heading there on Monday.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. So, she smiled and hugged me.

I used to have a job managing Old Macdonald’s farms. I was the C I E I O.

I thought I saw a rabbit driving a Rolls Royce. It turns out it was a millionhare. 

I saw a monkey floating away in a basket. Apparently, it was a hot air baboon.

I named my dog Five Miles. Now I can tell everyone I walk Five Miles every day.

I gave my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick. She’s still not talking to me.

I was running towards the door as a polite sheep opened it. It said, “After ewe!”

I loved working as an almond harvester until I discovered my boss was a nut job.

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I joined the Tourette’s Society a week ago. They’ve only just finished swearing me in.

I’ve just finished building a car from washing machine parts. I’ll be taking it for a spin tomorrow.

I feel cheated. I bought a can of fly spray and sprayed myself all over with it, but I still can’t fly.

I’ve started a job at Apple supporting law enforcement’s covert operations. My department’s called iSpy.

I was apprehensive about going to the dermatologist today. Thankfully, he didn’t make any rash decisions.

I don’t think it’s a big achievement, but my doctor’s report says I haven’t used my muscles for so long that I’m getting a trophy.

I lost my thesaurus yesterday. Not only was I sad, but I was also glum, gloomy, downcast, despondent, miserable, wretched, woebegone, crestfallen, and unhappy.

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So, dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Were these cheesy dad jokes funny?

Did they make you smile?

If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

Please share this post now.

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5 seriously funny jokes that’ll tickle you silly

02/12/2026 by

If you’re searching for some seriously funny jokes, dear reader, then I’ve got five here just for you, which I’m sure will make you laugh.

They all made me laugh, so I hope you enjoy them too.

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Seriously funny jokes:

1. Bell ringer wanted:

Quasimodo placed an advertisement in the local newspaper for an assistant bell ringer.

Unfortunately, there was just one applicant for the job. What was even more unfortunate was that the man applying for the job had no arms.

Quasimodo looked him up and down and then asked quizzically, “How will you be able to do what will be required of you?”

“Let me show you,” said the man, who then proceeded to run at the bell and strike it with his head.

“Well, that’s incredible!” exclaimed an astonished Quasimodo. “Could you show me that again?”

“Sure, I can,” said the man, and once again he ran at the bell, but this time he missed and fell straight out of the bell tower to his death on the ground below.

A crowd gathered around the corpse lying on the ground. A police officer quickly appeared on the scene and asked, “Can anyone identify this poor man?”

Quasimodo responded, “I don’t know his name, but his face rings a bell.”

2. Mrs Kelly’s parrot:

Father Malone was new to his Brooklyn parish, and he was visiting one of his parishioners, a little old lady.

Sitting in her living room with a cup of tea, he looked around and noticed she had a pet parrot, which had ribbons tied to each leg.

Father Malone looked for a moment, and then he politely enquired, “Mrs Kelly, why does your parrot have ribbons tied to its legs?”

Mrs Kelly smiled and said, “Well, believe it or not, Father, if I pull the left ribbon he’ll sing ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy’, and if I pull the right one he’ll sing, ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ for me.”

“Really? That’s impressive Mrs Kelly,” responded the priest. “And what happens if you pull both ribbons together?”

“I’ll fall off the bloody perch!” said the parrot.

3. Lesson learned:

Rick and Mike are two graduate students browsing the oldest part of their college library. They are looking through some musty old shelves in the Special Collection, in the hope they can find something meaningful that will add value to their dissertations.

As he’s browsing one shelf, Rick pulls out a particularly old-looking volume, and when he opens it, a genie pops out. “Thank you for freeing me from that book,” says the genie. “As a reward, I will grant you one wish. You can have either great wealth, great beauty, or great wisdom. What’s your preference?“

Rick’s a PhD student, so he thinks wisdom will be his best choice.

“I’ll have great wisdom, please,” says Rick.

“It’s yours!” says the genie. With that, he snaps his fingers, and there’s a Poof! sound and the genie disappears in a flash.

Rick is left stunned with a look of wonder in his eyes.

Now, Mike has been watching this unfold and can’t quite believe what he’s seen. Breaking the silence between the two of them, Mike says, “So, go on buddy, share some wisdom with me!”

Rick looks down at the book he’s holding, looks back up again, blinks and then says, sadly, “I should have taken great wealth.”

4. Know your own mind:

After his sermon on the challenges of dealing with a controlling personality, Father O’Malley said to the men in his congregation, “If you know that your wife is controlling you, step forward.”

Every man in the congregation stepped forward except Bert.  

Father O’Malley smiled because at least he had one strong, confident man in his congregation.

“Now, Bert,” Father O’Malley continued, “tell us why you were unwilling to step forward.”

Bert quietly replied, “Because my wife said I would regret it if I did.”

5. The tap-dancing duck:

A circus owner walked into a bar in Wyoming where everyone inside was crowded around one table.

In the middle of this table was an upturned flower pot with a duck tap dancing on top of it.

Everyone was cheering at the duck’s antics and the circus owner, having a good nose for a crowd-pleaser, thought this was an attraction he should grab with both hands. So immediately he bought both the duck and the flower pot from the bar’s owner for $1,000.

He took the duck back to his circus and promoted his new attraction heavily. Well, it wasn’t long before people were coming from miles around eager to catch a glimpse of the tap-dancing duck.

Sadly there was a widespread disappointment because the duck simply refused to perform. It wouldn’t dance a single step.

Naturally, the circus owner was angry and he returned to the bar immediately with the duck to complain to the man who sold it to him, the bar’s owner.

“This duck’s a fraud,” complained the circus owner, “He won’t dance a single step for me!”

“That’s very odd,” said the bar owner. “Did you remember to light the candle under the flower pot?”

Phil Sutton

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7 inspirational quotes about attitude to make you think

02/12/2026 by

Today, I am exploring inspirational quotes about attitude.

Your attitude matters, dear reader, and it matters a lot.

It’s your attitude, more than any other personal qualities, that dictates how far you will go in life.

A bad attitude will get you nowhere, but a good attitude will take you as far as you want to go.

As a hiring manager, the right attitude is the quality I value above all others.

Someone of average ability with a positive, can-do attitude is far more useful to me than a cynical, wise-ass with a negative, it-can’t-be-done attitude.

For me, your attitude is more important than your past, your education, your appearance or your skill set.

All of those things are important, of course. However, I can work around them if I have to, as long as you have the right attitude.

A bad attitude will do you no favours at all. You might think you’re being clever, but no one else will be impressed. Trust me on that.

The good news is that you can change your attitude at any time you choose. Change your attitude, and you’ll change your life. Don’t believe me? Then try it and see for yourself.

Attitude is everything; it’s that simple.

Here are seven inspirational quotes about attitude that will help you reflect on the importance of this hugely underrated personal quality, dear reader.

Inspirational Quotes Aboutr Attitude
Attitude is everything
Make Money

Inspirational quotes about attitude:

  1. The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton
  2. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill
  3. People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude. ~John C. Maxwell
  4. A weakness of attitude becomes a weakness of character. ~Albert Einstein
  5. There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. ~W. Clement Stone
  6. Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. ~Thomas Jefferson
  7. My general attitude to life is to enjoy every minute of every day. I never do anything with a feeling of, ‘Oh God, I’ve got to do this today.’ ~Richard Branson

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Please share this post now. If you can do that for me, I’ll be forever grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Phil Sutton

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