21 Quotes about goals in life to inspire you

08/08/2022 by

Quotes about Goals in LifeIf you’re looking for some quotes about goals in life to inspire you then look no further, dear reader. There are some great quotes here today.

Having goals matters.

If you don’t have something at which to aim, then you’re sure to miss every time.

So, decide what it is that you really want to achieve; decide what actions you’ll need to take to achieve it, and then set some challenging goals.

Work towards specific goals and you’ll go from being ordinary to being extraordinary.

So set some goals now, but not before you’ve been inspired by all these great quotes that I’ve curated for you today. Enjoy them all.

Quotes about goals in life (1-15):

  1. If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. ~Zig Ziglar
  2. Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there. ~Bo Jackson
  3. Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power. ~Lao Tzu
  4. You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. ~CS Lewis
  5. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars. ~Les Brown
  6. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. ~Tony Robbins
  7. One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals. ~Michael Korda
  8. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford
  9. If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll probably end up somewhere else. ~Lawrence J. Peter
  10. I don’t focus on what I’m up against. I focus on my goals and I try to ignore the rest. ~Venus Williams
  11. A goal is not always meant to be reached; it often serves simply as something to aim at. ~Bruce Lee
  12. The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. ~Bill Copeland
  13. You must take action now that will move you towards your goals. Develop a sense of urgency in your life. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
  14. If you’re bored with life – you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals. ~Lou Holtz
  15. The great danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark. ~Michelangelo

Quotes about goals in life (16-21):

  1. The game has its ups and downs, but you can never lose focus of your individual goals and you can’t let yourself be beaten because of a lack of effort. ~Michael Jordan
  2. Never quit. It is the easiest cop-out in the world. Set a goal and don’t quit until you attain it. When you do attain it, set another goal, and don’t quit until you reach it. Never quit. ~Bear Bryant
  3. Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success. ~Pablo Picasso
  4. When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. Confucius Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals. ~LL Cool J
  5. Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals. ~Kallam Anji Reddy
  6. Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps, they need to take to get them closer to the fulfilment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. ~Jack Canfield

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How to build wealth from nothing: 5 Top Tips

08/07/2022 by

How to build wealth from nothing 2There’s nothing you can do about being born poor. If that was the case, then it was just unfortunate. However, you don’t have to go through life poor.

It is possible to build wealth over time and plenty of people do, frequently from absolutely nothing.

Many people born poor become very wealthy through their own efforts and you can too dear reader.

Here are five tips to help you build wealth from nothing.

How to build wealth from nothing:

1. Pay yourself first:

You can make money relatively easily, but holding on to it can be very, very hard.

We’re all constantly bombarded with reasons why we should spend our money in return for some fleeting sense of gratification. Would that be an experience you recognise dear reader?

It doesn’t have to be that way of course and rich people know that only too well.

So what do rich people do that’s different to everyone else?

Simple! They always pay themselves first.

And what do I mean by paying yourself first?

I mean the moment you’re paid, you take a slice off the top of your income immediately and you put it away somewhere safe. And by a slice I mean to say 10%, or more if you can afford it.

And what do I mean by somewhere safe?

Well, initially that would be depositing your money in an interest-bearing account.

However, once your money starts building into a larger sum then you can start thinking about other forms of investment that’ll give you greater returns potentially. Stocks and bonds for instance.

Building a capital sum is important because as your money grows it starts to generate a second income stream for you. That may not seem important to you now but it will be as you get older.

So paying yourself first is a discipline to which you must adhere until it becomes a habit you do without thinking.

You must always put some money away and you must make that money work hard for you. You must grow and protect your investment portfolio with careful diversification and over time you’ll find yourself building a sizeable fortune.

So here’s today’s mantra for you: Pay Yourself First. Never forget that please dear reader.

2. Be an investor, not a speculator:

You must understand that there’s a big difference between investing and speculation. They’re not the same thing at all.

I don’t wish to imply that there’s something wrong with speculation though. There isn’t.

In the world of finance, speculation brings liquidity to the market and therefore it does have its place.

However, speculation tends to operate on the ‘greater fool’ principle.

By that, I mean someone is prepared to buy an asset for a given price in the hope that it can then be sold quickly to someone else, the greater fool, for a greater price.

This is what professional speculators do and they can make money this way because they know what they’re doing and they have sophisticated systems to support them.

However, for ordinary people speculation is like gambling in a casino. And you should never invest your money as though you’re gambling in a casino.

You might get lucky occasionally of course but over time your losses will outstrip any gains you might make, and almost certainly by a significant margin.

So my recommendation to you dear reader is you should never speculate. Instead, you should focus on becoming an investor.

By investing I mean buying stocks and shares in solid, well-managed, cash-generative businesses which have the ability to pay good dividends on a sustained basis.

Buy stocks worth holding for the long term. This will provide you with a steady income stream from the dividends regardless of any short to medium-term volatility in the market. And spread your risk by building a diversified portfolio.

If you reinvest your dividends then over time you will find that this approach should give you a good return on your money.

If you want to make money and build capital, then my advice to you dear reader is to be an investor, not a speculator.

3. Focus on value not price:

The legendary investor Warren Buffett once said, “Price is what you pay; value is what you get.”

With this observation, he’s making a very important point. There’s a distinction between price and value.

A low price for an asset doesn’t necessarily mean you’d be getting good value.

And a high price doesn’t automatically mean you would not be getting value.

Price in itself is not a measure of value. You must consider other factors to judge value.

When you’re buying any financial asset, says stocks and shares, you should always focus on value and you must establish metrics by which you can adequately judge the intrinsic value within that asset.

Judged in isolation, price is just a number, nothing more.

A lower price means absolutely nothing if you’re getting little or no value in return for your money.

Never, ever forget that it’s the intrinsic value that will determine whether something is really worth buying or not.

Get genuine value at the right price and then you can get a decent return over time from an investment.

4. Create a personal private income:

How to Build Wealth from NothingMuch as we all aspire to do work we love, you must never forget dear reader that ultimately work is simply a means to an end.

Essentially work is just doing stuff for other people in exchange for money. In turn, that money is then the fuel on which we run our lives.

Money provides us with the means to put bread on the table, a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs and those of our loved ones of course.

If you work hard enough you can earn a lot of money.

Manage that money wisely and you can build capital. Invest that capital intelligently and you can create your own personal private income streams.

When you have a decent private income in your own right then you can truly pick and choose the work you do.

Then you only have to do what you enjoy doing; that thing that gives you a genuine sense of purpose.

Creating a personal private income is a worthy goal and it’s well worth the effort.

That way you’re in control of your own life and no one else can dictate what you should and shouldn’t do.

You’ll be in control of the good ship ‘Me’ and only you then decide where it goes.

The message here is, to work hard now, so one day you don’t have to work hard.

5. Never forget what matters most:

It would be very easy to believe that a life filled with lots of money and materiality will make you blissfully happy. Well let me tell you, dear reader, in isolation, it won’t.

I’m not suggesting that these things are not important but you must get your priorities right.

Yes, of course, go out there and make money. Manage it carefully. Buy nice things and enjoy some of that money too.

However, to be truly happy you must never lose sight of the most important thing in your life and that is family and friends.

People are social animals; we’re not solitary animals like cats. We need other people and most of all we need our loved ones. A life filled with loved ones and laughter will be a happy life.

So make time for your loved ones, especially your children. Enjoy their company and make the most of every minute with them.

Never focus on work to the exclusion of your family and friends. Without them you have nothing. Money is important of course but people are much more important.

Never lose sight of the people in your life.

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25 contenders for the best one-liners of all time

08/06/2022 by

best one-liners of all timeDo you enjoy a witty one-liner, dear reader? Well, I’ve been searching for some of the contenders for the best one-liners of all time.

Today I’ve put together a batch of 25 which I hope you’ll enjoy.

They all made me smile and I hope they’ll make you smile too.

So take a moment to enjoy them and then please pass them on.

Best one-liners of all time (1-15):

  1. I’m not fat. I’m just easier to see.
  2. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  3. Becoming a vegan is a big missed steak.
  4. My boss said, have a good day. So I went home.
  5. A clean desk is a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  6. For maximum attention, nothing beats saying something stupid.
  7. I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.
  8. Why is it that everyone seems normal until you get to know them?
  9. How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
  10. The importance of teamwork is there’s always someone else to blame.
  11. We must support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
  12. One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.
  13. Why do we refer to the day we do all our household chores as a day off?
  14. The other man’s grass may be greener but at least you don’t have to mow it.
  15. If we’re not supposed to eat at night, why’s there a light in the refrigerator?

Best one-liners of all time (16-25):

  1. Wise people learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us are the others.
  2. Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realising that the other person’s an idiot.
  3. An optimist believes that the world couldn’t be better. A pessimist is afraid that might be true.
  4. It’s funny when someone says we need to talk, and what they really mean is you need to listen.
  5. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men actually spend thinking.
  6. Living in the 21st century is a bizarre experience. Our priority now is deleting history rather than making it.
  7. Life’s all about perspective. For instance, the sinking of the Titanic seemed like a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
  8. We all live by the 50-50-90 rule. Anytime we have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability that we’ll get it wrong.
  9. My boss asked whether it was me or him that was stupid. I responded diplomatically that everyone knows that he has a reputation for never hiring stupid people.
  10. Before I criticize anyone, I always walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when I’ve criticized them, I’m a mile away and they can’t chase me because I’ve got their shoes.

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Amusing QuotesSo dear reader, are the witticisms on offer today some contenders for the best one-liners of all time?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read in this post then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. So please, share it now.

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101 Quotes on self-improvement to inspire you

08/05/2022 by

Quotes on Self-ImprovementIn seeking quotes on self-improvement, perhaps you’re looking for a better life.

Well, life doesn’t have to be as it is now. It can be something much closer to what you’d like it to be. And with a little effort on your part, you can make it happen.

Remember you’re not defined by your past. That serves only as a series of lessons. The future is yours to create and it all starts with self-improvement.

Self-improvement is just a process whereby you decide what it is you want; you decide what skills you’ll need to develop in order to get what you want; you work out how you can get those skills, and then you set some goals and start improving the quality of your life and that of your loved ones.

It can be done. People do it all the time. And so can you.

Learn more and you’ll earn more.

You’ll need a little inspiration to motivate you and keep you going. Motivational quotes are useful because they help you acquire ideas on getting started and they’re beneficial in helping you realize your dreams and goals.

So here are 101 quotes on self-improvement to inspire you and propel you along the road to make your dreams a reality.

Enjoy them all and please share them with your friends.

Quotes on self-improvement (1-20):

  1. Let us cultivate our garden. ~Voltaire
  2. If you can dream it, you can do it. ~Walt Disney
  3. Good things happen to those who hustle. ~Chuck Noll
  4. You will never win if you never begin. ~Helen Rowland
  5. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. ~Milton Berle
  6. If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time. ~Zig Ziglar
  7. All things are difficult before they are easy. ~Thomas Fuller
  8. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. ~Mark Twain
  9. Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. ~Jim Rohn
  10. He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior. ~Confucius
  11. You just can’t beat the person who never gives up. ~Babe Ruth
  12. Believe you can and you’re halfway there. ~Theodore Roosevelt
  13. Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there. ~Bo Jackson
  14. Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. ~Carol Burnett
  15. It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~George Eliot
  16. You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind. ~Joyce Meyer
  17. My purpose: to lift your spirit and to motivate you. ~Mavis Staples
  18. The dreaming has to be backed up by the doing. ~Carrie Wilkerson
  19. Problems are not Stop Signs, they are guidelines. ~Robert H. Schuller
  20. The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. ~Harry Golden

101 Quotes on self-improvement to inspire you

Quotes on self-improvement (21-40):

  1. Nothing will work unless you do. ~Maya Angelou
  2. The only journey is the one within. ~Rainer Maria Rilke
  3. Either you run the day or the day runs you. ~Jim Rohn
  4. You don’t have to get it right the first time. ~Barbara Sher
  5. Life has no limitations, except the ones you make. ~Les Brown
  6. Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds. ~Gordon B. Hinckley
  7. Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star. ~W. Clement Stone
  8. The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch. ~Jim Rohn
  9. If you’re not doing what you love, you’re wasting your time. ~Zig Ziglar
  10. There is no such thing as failure. There are only results. ~Tony Robbins
  11. If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. ~Jim Rohn
  12. Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality. ~Les Brown
  13. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. ~Arthur Ashe
  14. The time is now. Stop hitting the snooze button on your life. ~Mel Robbins
  15. We will always tend to fulfil our own expectations of ourselves. ~Brian Tracy
  16. In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. ~Nikos Kazantzakis
  17. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you don’t stop. ~Confucius
  18. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. ~Charles R. Swindoll
  19. A barrier is a limitation only when you perceive it as one. ~Stephen Richards
  20. When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go. ~Carol Burnett

101 Quotes on self-improvement to inspire you

Quotes on self-improvement (41-55):

  1. The first step in solving a problem is to recognize that it does exist. ~Zig Ziglar
  2. Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority. ~Tom Hopkins
  3. Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. ~Les Brown
  4. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. ~Zig Ziglar
  5. The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
  6. Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practised every day. ~Jim Rohn
  7. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. ~Tony Robbins
  8. I never see failure as failure, but only as the game I must play and win. ~Tom Hopkins
  9. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other. ~Walter Elliot
  10. The difference between being mediocre and achieving excellence is you. ~Stephen Richards
  11. Become addicted to constant and never-ending self-improvement. ~Anthony J. D’Angelo
  12. The will to succeed is important, but what’s more important is the will to prepare. ~Bobby Knight
  13. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been. ~TD Jakes
  14. How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable? ~Seth Godin
  15. You are essentially who you create yourself to be, and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making. ~Stephen Richards

101 Quotes on self-improvement to inspire you

Quotes on self-improvement (56-70):

  1. Opportunity does not knock it presents itself when you beat down the door. ~Kyle Chandler
  2. Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. ~Anonymous
  3. When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth we’re given. ~Barbara Sher
  4. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. ~Samuel Beckett
  5. Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. ~H. L. Hunt
  6. You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plough right ahead. ~George Lucas
  7. Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. ~Tony Robbins
  8. I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. ~Brian Tracy
  9. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  10. Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay. ~Simone de Beauvoir
  11. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success. ~Joyce Brothers
  12. If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes. ~John Wooden
  13. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. ~William James
  14. I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. ~Jimmy Dean
  15. Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. ~Vince Lombardi

quotes on self-improvement

Quotes on self-improvement (71-85):

  1. Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
  2. There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self. ~Aldous Huxley
  3. I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’ ~Muhammad Ali
  4. Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. ~Martin Luther
  5. Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. ~Nido Qubein
  6. Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret to success. ~Swami Sivananda
  7. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas A. Edison
  8. Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them. ~Ann Landers
  9. Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having, except as a result of hard work. ~Booker T. Washington
  10. Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune. ~Jim Rohn
  11. Become addicted to constant and never-ending self-improvement. ~Anthony J. D’Angelo
  12. The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become. ~Jim Rohn
  13. Outstanding people have one thing in common: An absolute sense of mission. ~Zig Ziglar
  14. It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going. ~Brian Tracy
  15. If there is one lesson I’ve learned from failure and success, it’s this. I am not the outcome. I am never the result. I am only the effort. ~Kamal Ravikant

quotes on self-improvement

Quotes on self-improvement (86-95):

  1. You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight. ~Jim Rohn
  2. Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong. ~Ella Fitzgerald
  3. If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. ~John D. Rockefeller
  4. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. ~Jim Rohn
  5. It is not as much about who you used to be, as it is about who you choose to be. ~Sanhita Baruah
  6. If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. ~Jim Rohn
  7. If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards. ~Bear Bryant
  8. My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style. ~Maya Angelou
  9. No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, and become a better version of yourself. ~Madonna
  10. We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. ~Jim Rohn

101 Quotes on self-improvement to inspire you

Quotes on self-improvement (96-101):

  1. If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results. ~Tony Robbins
  2. Learning is the beginning of wealth. Learning is the beginning of health. Learning is the beginning of spirituality. Searching and learning are where the miracle process all begins. ~Jim Rohn
  3. Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. ~Brian Tracy
  4. You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. ~Jim Rohn
  5. Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. ~Brian Tracy
  6. You are your greatest asset. Put your time, effort and money into training, grooming, and encouraging your greatest asset. ~Tom Hopkins

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7 quotes about technology and why we must control it

08/04/2022 by

quotes about technologyI must say, I love gadgets and I’m a big fan of technology generally.

However, if we’re not careful, technology intended to make our lives easier and more efficient can have the opposite effect.

Dear reader, how often are you about to do something but you then think, “Oh, before I do that I’ll just check Facebook?”

Half an hour later and you’ve forgotten what it was you were about to do in the first place. Now be honest, can you relate to that experience?

Harness technology by all means and use all the benefits it offers.

However, we shouldn’t let it control our lives. We shouldn’t allow it to be a substitute for real-life either.

And of course, the use of technology can never replace intelligent thought.

Technology can help us achieve our aims but it can also prevent us from achieving our aims too if we’re not careful. So my underlying message to you today dear reader is, to enjoy technology in all its forms but stay in control.

Here are seven quotes about technology and why we must control it.

Quotes about technology:

  1. The number one benefit of information technology is that it empowers people to do what they want to do. It lets people be creative. It lets people be productive. It lets people learn things they didn’t think they could learn before and so in a sense, it is all about potential. ~Steve Ballmer
  2. Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, allowing us to do things more quickly and efficiently but too often it seems to make things harder, leaving us with fifty-button remote controls, digital cameras with hundreds of mysterious features and book-length manuals, and cars with dashboard systems worthy of the space shuttle. ~James Surowiecki
  3. Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. ~Bill Gates
  4. The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. ~Bill Gates
  5. The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men [and women] do. ~BF Skinner
  6. Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we’re too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone. ~Steven Spielberg
  7. Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge. ~Daniel J Boorstin

Please share these quotes with your friends:

If you found these quotes inspiring and interesting, please share this post on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you do, I’ll be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

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25 amusing quotes about getting old to tickle you

08/03/2022 by

Amusing Quotes About Getting OldThere are worse things than getting old. Not getting old being just one of them. Nevertheless being old is a tough gig. Like an old car, everything starts to wear out and it all seems to happen at once. That’s life unfortunately and we just have to get used to it.

The trick is to remain ‘stupid and cheerful‘ and that way you’ll experience less stress. You can try ‘smart and angry‘ if you prefer but I think you’ll find it doesn’t help improve anything.

One great way to remain cheerful is to read something amusing each day.

So today I offer you 25 amusing quotes about getting old to make you smile. Certainly, they all made me smile.

If you’re old I’m sure some of them will resonate with you. If you’re not old then enjoy your youth whilst you can. The years will pass in the blink of an eye.

Whatever your age; you’ll never have today again, so you might as well enjoy it.

Amusing quotes about getting old:

  1. Looking 50 is great if you’re 60. ~Joan Rivers
  2. Age is a high price to pay for maturity. ~Tom Stoppard
  3. No man is ever old enough to know better. ~Holbrook Jackson
  4. Time may be a great healer but it’s a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
  5. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. ~George Burns
  6. A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ~John Barrymore
  7. You’re only young once but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
  8. Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. ~Maurice Chevalier
  9. You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.” ~Jerry Seinfeld
  10. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. ~Author Unknown
  11. Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. ~George Burns
  12. A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘“At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” ~Claude Pepper
  13. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. ~Bob Hope
  14. He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money upfront. ~George Burns
  15. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. ~Billy Crystal
  16. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. ~Kurt Vonnegut
  17. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. ~John Mortimer
  18. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. ~Woody Allen
  19. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. ~Sir Norman Wisdom
  20. I don’t do alcohol anymore. I can get the same effect just standing up fast. ~Author Unknown
  21. None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~Henry David Thoreau
  22. Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. ~Joan Rivers 
  23. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
  24. It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ~Woody Allen
  25. If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. ~Author Unknown

amusing quotes about getting oldPlease share with your friends:

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11 funny quotes about money to make you smile

08/02/2022 by

funny quotes about moneyMoney, that’s what I want! And so does everyone else.

It’s a modern obsession. We like to think that it doesn’t matter but it does of course. In the modern world, we cannot get far without at least some of it.

We all talk about money and we’re constantly chasing value for money. This is natural of course because our lifestyle, such as it is, depends on the money we have and the money we earn.

However, there’s a slightly absurd and amusing side to it all too. So I thought I’d search out some quotes to explore the funny side of money.

Here are 11 funny quotes about money that made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too.

Funny quotes about money:

  1. A Nillionaire is someone with no money. ~Author Unknown
  2. Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. ~Author Unknown
  3. Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale. ~Zig Ziglar
  4. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. ~Author Unknown
  5. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop. ~Author Unknown
  6. They say money talks and perhaps it does, but mine just says goodbye. ~Author Unknown
  7. Where does money go? Hokus, pokus and then I’m brokus. ~Author Unknown
  8. Always borrow money from a pessimist because they don’t expect to get it back. ~Oscar Wilde
  9. Money may not buy happiness but if you’re going to cry it’s better to do it in a Mercedes or BMW. ~Author Unknown
  10. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s in the sale. ~Author Unknown
  11. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ~Lana Turner

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31 funny puns that are very cheesy but very amusing

08/01/2022 by

Funny PunsDo you like funny puns, dear reader? I hope so because I’ve put together a collection of 31 of them just for you.

Personally, I love funny puns and clever wordplay. Witty one-liners like this make me smile every time. Today’s collection is no exception.

I loved them all and I hope you will too. So take a moment, relax and enjoy them.

Funny Puns (1-20):

  1. Marriage proposals are so engaging.
  2. I had a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy. 
  3. What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.
  4. The invention of the wheel really got things rolling.
  5. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? She was feline fine!
  6. What do you call a mean Egyptian ruler? Unpharaoh.
  7. Cleaning mirrors is a job I can really see myself doing.
  8. A man was accidentally buried alive. It was a grave mistake. 
  9. I went to buy 6 cans of Sprite, but I accidentally picked 7 up.
  10. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To cross to the other side. 
  11. Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. 
  12. Why does it cost so much to put air in tyres these days? Inflation.
  13. The invention of drones has given us a new perspective on things.
  14. Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
  15. I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.
  16. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  17. A physicist and a biologist had a relationship, but there was no chemistry.
  18. The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down.
  19. I broke my finger at work today, but on the other hand, everything’s okay.
  20. Police were called to childcare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Funny Puns (21-31):

  1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
  2. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  3. I was fired from my job at the keyboard factory for not putting in enough shifts.
  4. I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.
  5. Two plates are sitting on a table. One says to the other, “Tonight, dinner is on me.”
  6. If Americans switched from pounds to kilos overnight, there would be mass confusion.
  7. Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
  8. I’m managing my kleptomania pretty well. Whenever it gets bad, I take something for it.
  9. My girlfriend really changed when she became a vegan. It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.
  10. My girlfriend says she’s been suffering from migraines for a long time, but I think it’s all in her head.
  11. Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now when you mention botox, nobody raises an eyebrow.

Please share this post with your friends:

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When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you can do that for me I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day.

If you fancy some more laughs then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Thank you.

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The secret to happiness that everyone should know

07/31/2022 by

Secret to happinessIf you’re reading this blog post, read reader, then perhaps you’ve been searching for the secret to happiness. If you have, you’re not alone. Many search but few find real happiness.

However, if happiness really is what you seek, then allow me to enlighten you.

Money’s not the answer:

When you hear news of someone winning big on a lottery, do you ever think that you’d be so much happier if only you could win big too? You’d be happy, if only you had a lot of money, right?

Certainly having money can make life comfortable. There’s no question about that. And who wouldn’t want to be comfortable?

Having money can allow you to do all sorts of things you couldn’t do otherwise. Live in a nice house; wear the finest clothes; drive a nice car; and travel first class to exotic places.

However, there’s one thing that money cannot do for you. It cannot make you happy. It’s a fact, having a lot of money by itself can never make you happy. There are plenty of very wealthy people who are miserable.

Happiness is a state of mind:

It is a fact if you weren’t happy without money, then suddenly gaining a lot of money will not change the way you feel. If anything, its impact on your life will probably make you even less happy.

Happiness is a state of mind. It’s the capacity to appreciate life for what it is and not what you think you’d like it to be. It’s being content with what you have, whatever that is.

Happiness is a positive mental attitude; a willingness to see the good side of every situation, regardless of how bad it might actually be in reality; a determination to enjoy the moment; whilst being comfortable in your own skin.

Work towards creating your own pot of gold, by all means, dear reader, but in doing so never lose sight of what matters most.

The time span of human life is very short and it all goes by in the blink of an eye.

Yesterday has gone and you may never know tomorrow. The here and now is the only certainty you have.

This moment is your life, so you must find a way to enjoy each and every moment. Get the most out of them all. For as we say where I come from, you’ll be a long time dead.

The secret to happiness:

Enjoy simple, inexpensive pleasures like having a laugh or a coffee with a friend. That’s when you’ll be happiest. That’s how memories are made too.

Accept that your life will be full of challenges, which is what makes it all interesting.

And recognise that in having to respond to challenges you are growing as a person. So it makes sense to respond to every challenge with enthusiasm because you can only win, ultimately. Either you’ll succeed or you’ll learn a lesson.

And remember this too; as your life passes, you won’t remember those expensive shoes you bought or the latest gadget, but you will remember the experiences you had with the people who mattered most to you.

Enjoy life for what it is and don’t fret about what it isn’t. The secret to happiness is contentment.

If you can be happy without money then having money will be a bonus.

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29 clever puns that’ll make you smile, at least a little

07/30/2022 by

Clever PunsIf you love clever puns then you’ve come to the right place, dear reader. I’ve put together a collection of 29 witty one-line puns that will make you smile, at least a little.

Certainly, they all made me smile and I’m confident that you’ll enjoy them too.

So sit back and take a few moments to enjoy them all. And then pass them on to your friends and colleagues.

Clever puns:

  1. With great reflexes comes great response-ability.
  2. What do you do with chemists when they die? Barium!
  3. How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
  4. An expensive laxative will give you a run for your money.
  5. I have a broken barometer that I need to sell. No pressure.
  6. Nuns wear the same outfit every day. Must be a habit, I guess.
  7. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
  8. I can only remember 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
  9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up!
  10. If it’s cold, stay close to others. Otherwise, you might feel a bit ice-olated.
  11. I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have put it on aloha setting.
  12. Why was it so hot in the stadium after the baseball game? All the fans left!
  13. I’m not sure if my ceiling is the best in the world, but it’s definitely up there.
  14. You’ll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians! Everyone.
  15. To whoever stole my broken bathroom scales, you’ll never get a weigh with it.
  16. Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing.
  17. I lift weights only on Saturday and Sunday because Monday to Friday are weak days.
  18. Why are fish the easiest animals to weigh? Because they come with their own scales.
  19. I started a business selling yachts in my attic. Sails have gone through the roof.
  20. I wouldn’t let my children go to see the orchestra. There’s too much sax and violins.
  21. I told my wife I felt like a deck of cards and she said she’d deal with me later.
  22. I have a weird talent where I can tell what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.
  23. Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail? She got a full sentence.
  24. The Pentagon was originally going to be a square, but the contractor kept cutting corners.
  25. What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up? The mean increases.
  26. I’m a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Someday I’m going to be awesome.
  27. My partner’s name is David, so we named our son Harley. This way he’s Harley, David’s son.
  28. I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
  29. Did you hear about the thieves who robbed a theatre during a performance? They stole the spotlight.

Please share this post:

If you enjoyed these clever puns then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share it now. If you can do that for me I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day.

And if you fancy some more laughs then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Thank you for your support.

Articles that might appeal to you:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2022. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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