19 Best Homer Simpson quotes that’ll make you smile

05/14/2021 by

Best Homer Simpson Quotes These have got to be 19 of the very best Homer Simpson quotes and I’m confident they’ll raise a smile or two with readers.

I love the Simpson’s and, in particular, Homer Simpson’s philosophy on life never fails to get me laughing out loud. So today I thought I’d take a look back at some of his most memorable quotes.

If you like the Simpson’s, I’m sure you will enjoy looking back at Homer’s words of wisdom.

Enjoy them all.

Best Homer Simpson quotes:

  1. Trying is the first step towards failure.
  2. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
  3. If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?
  4. I never apologize. I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.
  5. Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full.
  6. Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.
  7. If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker.
  8. Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.
  9. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
  10. The problem in the world today is communication; too much communication.
  11. It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
  12. I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
  13. If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.
  14. I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
  15. Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do?
  16. Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals; except the weasel.
  17. Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.
  18. Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.
  19. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

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You do? I hope so anyway.

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3 funny jokes to tell your friends and make them smile

05/13/2021 by

3 Funny Jokes to tell your friendsFew things in life can beat a good laugh. One thing that is better is making your friends laugh. So if you’re looking for some funny jokes to tell your friends, then today I offer you three of them which I’m confident will raise a smile or two.

So take a few moments to enjoy them all and then feel free to on-pass them to others.

It’s always good to share smiles.

Funny jokes to tell your friends:

1. The Chapel of Rest:

When I was about seven years old, my father took me to the local funeral parlour, as he wanted to pay his respects to an old work colleague who’d recently died.

This was a man I’d never met but it was important to my father and he thought it would be a good life experience for me to accompany him.

As we waited our turn to view the open casket, I sat quietly in a corner, waiting for the time to pass.

Suddenly, the door to the Chapel of Rest opened and an elderly man I’d never met came out and, as he did so, he smiled at me and said, “Make sure you enjoy your life son. Be happy because it’ll all go by in the blink of an eye. Look at me, I didn’t and now it’s too late.”

With that, the man disappeared through the door onto the street and it was our turn to view the body and pay our respects.

We walked solemnly into the Chapel of Rest and I looked into the open casket.

I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it. The body in the casket was the man who’d just spoken to me.

Well, I was completed traumatized by the experience. I had nightmares and I was terrified to be alone. I couldn’t sleep without the light being on for several years.

It got so bad I had to go for psychotherapy and counselling.

As I got older, gradually I began to cope a bit better, until one day I discovered something that completely changed my life.

I learned that my father’s dead colleague had an identical twin brother.

2. The Driving Test:

Jane arrived home, having just taken her Driving Test for the ninth time.

Naturally, her husband Bill was keen to know how she’d got on this time.

“So honey, how did it go this time?” Bill asked.

“Not good,” Jane responded. “They failed me again.”

“Really?” said Bill, sounding disappointed for her. “What did they pull you up on this time?”

“A rope,” Jane responded, sheepishly.

“A rope?” Bill inquired, looking slightly puzzled.

“Yes, that’s how they got me out,” Jane responded. “The car’s still in the river.”

3. The Confessional Booth:

Father Murphy was taking confessions when a teenage boy entered the confessional booth.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” said the youth, “I have been with a girl of loose morals.”

“Is that you, young Jimmy Walsh,” Father Murphy inquired.

“Yes Father, it is,” young Jimmy responded.

“And you, an altar boy! I’m disappointed in you Jimmy,” said Father Murphy. “Who is this young girl?”

“Oh Father, I don’t want to get her a bad reputation,” said Jimmy, defensively.

“Was it Bernadette Kelly?” Father Murphy inquired.

“No Father,” said Jimmy.

“Was it Patricia O’Connor?” Father Murphy continued.

“No Father,” said Jimmy.

“Was it Teresa O’Sullivan?” Father Murphy pressed on.

“Father, I cannot give you her name. It wouldn’t be fair,” said Jimmy.

“Well, I admire your loyalty to this girl Jimmy, but you’ve sinned and if you insist on remaining tight-lipped, then you must accept your penance,” Father Murphy responded.

“And what will that be, Father?” Jimmy asked.

“You’re barred from serving as an altar boy again for three months.” Father Murphy responded, sternly.

Young Jimmy walked back to the pew slowly and as he sat down, his friend Rory whispered, “How did it go?”

“The plan worked like a charm,” Jimmy responded with a smile. “Three months off and three great leads.”

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So dear reader, did you find these funny jokes to tell your friends as amusing as you’d hoped? Certainly, I hope they all made you laugh.

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31 great quotes from Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm

05/12/2021 by

quotes from Larry David in Curb Your EnthusiasmToday I thought it might be amusing to look back at some of the many memorable quotes from Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you’re not familiar with this sitcom, Curb Your Enthusiasm is a very funny comedy starring Larry David, playing a fictionalized version of himself.

Essentially the series follows Larry in his life as a semi-retired television writer and producer in his attempt to deal with life’s frustrations and quirks.

For me, it’s one of the great American sitcoms.

There are plenty of Curb Your Enthusiasm clips on YouTube if you want to check out this comedy and, if you’re unfamiliar with it, that’s well worth doing when you have a little free time.

So go ahead and take a look, but not before you’ve enjoyed these memorable quotes now.

Enjoy them all.

Quotes from Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm:

  1. I’m yelling for society.
  2. I find human contact repulsive.
  3. Can I apologise for the apology?
  4. I’m married. I can wear whatever I want.
  5. By sundown? What are you, Gary Cooper?
  6. I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
  7. Hey, mind your own business. How about that?
  8. I’ve got ideas, but I choose not to carry them out.
  9. I always think of nice things, but I never act on them.
  10. It seems silly to me to put a napkin on an old pair of pants.
  11. Why does everybody have to have pictures of everything?
  12. I’m feeling pretty good. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.”
  13. Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a tire?
  14. We’re fighting because you’re a moron. That’s why we’re fighting.
  15. I’m sorry if you’re offended. I don’t think I said anything offensive.
  16. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
  17. I don’t like talking to people I know, but strangers I have no problem with.
  18. Bald asshole? That’s a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
  19. He wanted to stop and chat with me, and I don’t know him well enough for a stop and chat.
  20. Can I tell you something about apricots? 1 in 30 is a good one. It’s such a low percentage fruit.
  21. A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
  22. Nobody likes a tattle-tale, NOBODY! So go ahead and squeal and you’ll end up in HELL! OKAY!
  23. You can put my colon up next to your colon; we’ll see who has a cleaner, healthier colon.
  24. What is this compulsion to have people over at your house and serve them food and talk to them?
  25. It’s completely unprofessional. And I know because my whole career’s been based on being unprofessional.
  26. An employee is told that the customer’s always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and an asshole.
  27. You’re nothing without your health. Some people are nothing even with their health. I fall in that category, sometimes.
  28. I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbours. The thieves don’t impose. Thieves just want your things. Neighbours want your time.
  29. I did, once, try and stop a woman who was about to get hit by a car. I screamed out ‘Watch out!’ and she said ‘Don’t you tell me what to do!’
  30. You know what? Never mind, alright! I-I’ll take my liver out! I’ll walk around with a dialysis machine hanging out of me for the rest of my life, no problem!
  31. You know what it is? You’re always attracted to someone who doesn’t want you, right? Well, here you have somebody who not only doesn’t want you; doesn’t even acknowledge your right to exist; wants your destruction! That’s a turn-on.

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15 Quotes by Gandhi that will inspire you

05/11/2021 by

15 Quotes by GandhiMahatma Gandhi was an inspiration to millions of people and he was one of the most important figures of the 20th century. In fact, his philosophy continues to resonate with us even today.

So today I offer you 15 quotes by Gandhi all of which, I am confident, will get you reflecting on life and its meaning.

Gandhi led a life consistent with his philosophy and that is why he inspired so many generations and it’s why he continues to do that now.

He was a role model in his day and he remains a role model to us all now. Few people truly make their mark in life but certainly, Gandhi did.

Quotes by Gandhi:

  1. The future depends on what you do today. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  2. We will become who we are meant to become. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  3. Whatever you believe about yourself on the inside is what you will manifest on the outside. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  4. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  5. It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  6. It is my conviction that nothing enduring can be built on violence. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  7. I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  8. You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  9. The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  10. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  11. Any eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  12. It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  13. An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  14. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  15. You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Finally, and in addition to his many inspiring quotes, Mahatma Gandhi is known for his fundamental rules for changing the world. So they are included here to help you make your mark on this life dear reader.

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13 quotes to inspire you to be better than you are

05/10/2021 by

13 quotes to inspire youIf you’re looking for a little inspiration dear reader then you’re not alone. We could all use a little inspiration occasionally.

I’m inspired by quotes from great thinkers and opinion formers. So I start each day spending a few minutes thumbing through the quotes books in my library.

Here are some of the best quotes to inspire that I came across this morning. Enjoy them all.

Quotes to inspire:

  1. If you’ve learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you’ve discovered the secret of getting along, whether it be business, family relations or life itself. ~Bernard Meltzer
  2. Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown. ~Ross Perot
  3. Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. ~Booker T. Washington
  4. The toughest thing about success is that you’ve got to keep on being a success. ~Irving Berlin
  5. The man who has done his level best is a success, even though the world may write him down a failure. ~BC Forbes
  6. Life is too short to waste it doing nothing. Make every day count! ~Author Unknown
  7. Self-pity is a losing strategy. It repels others and weakens you. ~Michael Josephson
  8. What we’ve done for ourselves dies with us; what we’ve done for others and the world remains and is immortal. ~Albert Pike
  9. One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others. ~Lewis Carroll
  10. The purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one. ~Malcolm Forbes
  11. When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, never give up then, for that is just the time that the tide will turn. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
  12. People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. ~Dalai Lama
  13. Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment. ~Ralph Marston

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21 Del Boy quotes fans of Only Fools and Horses will love

05/09/2021 by

Del Boy QuotesFans of the British television sitcom Only Fools and Horses really do love its lead character, the irrepressible Derek ‘Del Boy’ Trotter, played by the brilliant actor David Jason. So today I’ve put together a series of some memorable Del Boy quotes which I’m confident fans will love.

If you’re not familiar with the sitcom Only Fools and Horses, I can recommend the many clips you’ll find on YouTube. They’re all very funny.

So take a look at them all when you can but not before you’ve taken a few minutes to enjoy all these memorable Del Boy quotes first. If you’re a loyal fan you’ll love them all, I’m sure.

Del Boy Quotes:

  1. You plonker, Rodney!
  2. Lovely jubbly!
  3. He who dares wins!
  4. You know it makes sense.
  5. I’m a black belt in origami.
  6. This time next year we’ll be millionaires!
  7. They’re yuppies. They don’t speak proper English like what we do.
  8. Rodney, everything between you and I is split straight down the middle: 60-40.
  9. It’s a well-known fact that 90 per cent of all foreign tourists come from abroad.
  10. You can’t trust the Old Bill, can ya? Look at that time they planted six gas cookers in my bedroom.
  11. You’ve always been the same, even at school. Nothing but books, learning, education. That’s why you’re no good at snooker.
  12. As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, ‘We’ve been done up like a couple of kippers.’
  13. Asking a Trotter if he knows anything about chandeliers is like asking Mr Kipling if he knows anything about cakes.
  14. Not only have you managed to sink every battleship and aircraft carrier that you’ve ever sailed on, but now you’ve gone and knackered a gravy boat.
  15. There’s no point in running away. Running away only wears out your shoes.
  16. She used to say, ‘It’s better to know you’ve lost than not to know you’ve won.’ Dear old Mum, she used to say some bloody stupid things.
  17. One of my most favourites meals is Duck à l’Orange, but I don’t know how to say that in French.
  18. If you had been in charge of The Last Supper it would have been a takeaway.
  19. I got a Persian rug with more food on it than a menu.
  20. It’s the toughest chicken I’ve ever known. It’s asked me for a fight in the car park twice.
  21. No chance of this happening with Rodney, is there? World War Three! This plonker can’t even get Channel Three!

Bonus Quotes 1:

Fans of this series will know that some of Del Boy’s most memorable quotes are his attempts to display his mastery of the French language. Needless to say, he had no mastery of French, but his attempts at it were very funny.

So here are six of Del Boy’s best French phrases with a note on what he actually meant when he used them:-

  1. Pot Pourri! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘I don’t believe it!’)
  2. Au contraire! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘Hang on a minute!)
  3. Bain-marie! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘No problem!)
  4. Bonnet de douche! (By which Del Boy meant: Excellent!)
  5. Chateauneuf du Pape! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘It’s all gone crazy!’)
  6. Creme de la Menthe! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘The very best.’)

Bonus Quotes 2:

Whilst this post was intended to pay tribute to Del Boy and his many memorable lines in the show, I think it would be remiss of me not to include some honourable mentions of classic lines from other characters.

So here are three that make me smile every time I hear them:-

  1. He died a couple of years before I was born. ~Colin ‘Trigger’ Ball talking about his father.
  2. We might go out, get to know each other a bit, you know. Might like each other, then who knows? In time maybe she might do some ironing for me. ~Denzil Tulser talking about a potential date.
  3. Derek, will you get it into your thick skull, I’m not trying to meet intelligent and sensitive people, I’m happy with you. ~Raquel Turner, in reference to Del Boy’s jealous nature.

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5 powerful quotes to propel you down the road to success

05/08/2021 by

Looking for some powerful quotes, dear reader?

You won’t be alone if you are. We all need a little inspiration to fire a spark within us occasionally, The question is, where to start?

Quotes from successful people are always a good place to start, I think.

It’s always worth listening to people who’ve achieved real success.

If they’ve done it successfully, whatever it is, then we can always copy their approach.

And if we copy their approach then there’s a good chance we can achieve success too. If it worked for them, it might just work for us.

So here are 5 powerful quotes from some very successful people. I hope they provide a spark to propel you down the road to success.

Powerful quotes:

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. ~Steve Jobs

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ~Harriet Tubman

Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success. ~Swami Vivekananda

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. ~Jim Rohn

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. ~Steve Jobs

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People love powerful quotes, so share this post now.

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50 Funny footballer quotes for soccer fans everywhere

05/07/2021 by

Funny Football QuotesFootball or soccer? The beautiful game is well known by both names around the world. And wherever you go, players can say some silly things at times. So I thought it might be interesting to curate some funny footballer quotes, or if you prefer, funny soccer quotes.

Whether you prefer to call it football or soccer, one thing is true and that’s the players and people associated with the game can say some of the funniest things at times.

Over the years, players, managers, coaches, commentators and pundits have all come up with some memorable quotes and one-liners, some intentional, others inadvertent. Either way, they’re always amusing.

Enjoy them all and then please pass them on.

Funny footballer quotes (1 – 25):

  1. I love these players with two feet. ~Michael Owen
  2. They were numerically outnumbered. ~Garry Birtles
  3. He’s got a lot of self-belief in himself. ~Graham Beecroft
  4. To play Holland you have to play the Dutch. ~Ruud Gullit
  5. I’ve been consistent in patches this season. ~Theo Walcott
  6. Apparently, it’s my fault that the Titanic sank. ~Ian Holloway
  7. I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. ~Stuart Pearce
  8. And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0. ~Ian Darke
  9. I’d like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona. ~Mark Draper
  10. Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win. ~Vinny Jones
  11. Reading won’t have the confidence to be confident. ~Paul Merson
  12. When you’re 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1. ~Lawrie McMenemy
  13. That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post. ~Michael Owen
  14. Some people cannot see a priest on a mountain of sugar. ~Rafa Benitez
  15. If there’s a bit of rain about it makes the surface wet. ~ Michael Owen
  16. Wilkins sends an inch-perfect pass to no one in particular. ~Byron Butler
  17. I couldn’t settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country. ~Ian Rush
  18. The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23. ~Kevin Keegan
  19. If we played like this every week we wouldn’t be so inconsistent. ~Bryan Robson
  20. Chile have three options. They could win or they could lose. ~Kevin Keegan
  21. That is a fantastic penalty, but he will be gutted it went wide. ~Michael Owen
  22. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I wasn’t on that particular job. ~Brian Clough
  23. If Rojo wasn’t left-footed he’d have used his right for that one. ~Michael Owen
  24. Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you’re 80-20 sure of winning it. ~Ian Darke
  25. Oh, he had an eternity to play that ball, but he took too long about it. ~Martin Tyler

Funny footballer quotes (26 – 50):

  1. Blackburn have got two strikers on and they’re both playing upfront. ~Michael Owen
  2. We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought. ~Sir Bobby Robson
  3. For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip. ~John Motson
  4. Diego Maradona – a flawed genius, who has now become a genius who is flawed. ~Bob Wilson
  5. They’re the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that. ~Kevin Keegan
  6. We must have had 99 per cent of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match. ~Ruud Gullit
  7. If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he’s have put grass up there. ~Brian Clough
  8. I know what’s around the corner. I just don’t know where the corner is. ~Kevin Keegan
  9. I’m out at the moment, but should you be the chairman of Barcelona, AC Milan or Real Madrid, I’ll get straight back to you. The rest can wait. ~Joe Kinnear
  10. I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the world. But I was in the top one. ~Brian Clough
  11. I never comment on referees, and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat. ~Ron Atkinson
  12. It’s definitely hit Defoe’s hand as it’s gone in, but it’s not a handball for me. ~Michael Owen
  13. What a shot, that’s completely unstoppable but the keepers got to do better for me. ~Michael Owen
  14. I’ve had 14 bookings this season, eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable. ~Paul Gascoigne
  15. If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won’t lay any eggs in the basket. ~Sir Bobby Robson
  16. I’d been ill and hardly trained for a week and I’d been out of the team for three weeks before that. So I wasn’t sharp. I got cramp before half-time as well. But I’m not one to make excuses. ~Clinton Morrison
  17. Djimi Traore had to adapt to the English game, and he did that by going out on loan to Lens last season. ~ Ian Rush
  18. I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. ~George Best
  19. My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven. ~David Beckham
  20. Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match. ~Ian Wright
  21. What will you do when you leave football, Jack? Will you stay in football? ~Stuart Hall
  22. I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock. ~Barry Venison
  23. I am a firm believer that, if you score one goal, the other team have to score two to win. ~Howard Wilkinson
  24. If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. ~Terry Venables
  25. I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet. ~David Beckham

Please share this post with your friends:

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You did? I hope so anyway.

If you did enjoy them then please, please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you can do that for me then I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience and that will be your good deed for the day.

Thank you.

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How to love the life you live and live the life you love

05/06/2021 by

How to love the life you liveDo you love the life you live? Do you enjoy your work? Life should never be just about work, but it’s a big part of our lives, so it affects how we feel about ourselves.

Do you get up each morning feeling inspired by what you’ll be doing during the day ahead?

A good question to ask yourself is the one Steve Jobs asks in the video below, “If you knew that today was the last day of your life would you still be happy doing what you have to do today?”

Knowing we will die one day reminds us that our time is precious and we should use it wisely.

Life is short and none of us knows when our final moment will arrive. So we must follow our heart and focus our energy on work that really matters to us.

If your work matters to you then you’ll do it well. And if you do it well you’ll make a difference. Make a difference and you’ll leave a legacy. Do this and you’ll love the life you live.

How to love the life you lifeAll of this is easier said than done, of course.

Many people experience life without any real sense of satisfaction. Far too many people experience a lifetime of disappointment and regret too. This all adds up to people living lives they don’t love.

However, it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to accept a less than satisfactory life.

If your life is unsatisfactory then you need to change. And change is possible.

A good place to start is by listening to the inspiring observations from the late Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, contained in the video ‘If today were the last day of my life’ included below. His words are thought-provoking and powerful. I found this video truly inspirational and I recommend it to you.

How to love the life you live:

Before you watch the video, ask yourself this question. Between now and dead would you be happy to continue with the life you have right now?

No?

Then you must change and keep changing until you love the life you live.

Never accept second best because life’s far too short.

Remember: Whilst you have to make a living, you also have to make a life as well. So, have no regrets. Start making the life you want to live as quickly as possible. It’s later than you think.

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Thank you.

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15 amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld to brighten your day

05/05/2021 by

Quotes by Jerry SeinfeldToday I’ve put together some amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld.

Most readers will know that Jerry Seinfeld is an American comedian and probably best known as the star of the successful US sitcom Seinfeld, in which he played a semi-fictionalized version of himself.

Much more than this, Jerry Seinfeld is a hugely successful actor, writer, producer, and director.

As a stand-up comedian, he specializes in observational comedy, which I love, and I would rate him as one of the best comedians of all time.

So take a moment or two to enjoy all of these amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld, and if you like them then please pass them on.

Amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld:

  1. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  2. People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  3. Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  4. The IRS! They’re like the Mafia. They can take anything they want! ~Jerry Seinfeld
  5. My theory is 98 per cent of all human endeavour is killing time. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  6. I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ’em on the menu. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  7. To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  8. Make no mistake about why these babies are here. They’re here to replace us. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  9. It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  10. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  11. Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not colour, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  12. You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’ ~Jerry Seinfeld
  13. I am so busy doing nothing that the idea of doing anything, which as you know always leads to something, cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  14. There’s very little advice in men’s magazines because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, ‘I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.’ ~Jerry Seinfeld
  15. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. ~Jerry Seinfeld

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find these amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld interesting dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If you did enjoy them then please, please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share everyone wins.

So please share this post now. If you can do that for me then I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience and that will be your good deed for the day.

Thank you.

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