Rude Sarcastic Quotes: Keep calm and read 50 originals.

If you’re looking for some rude sarcastic quotes, then I’ve produced 50 originals for you here.

Take a few moments to enjoy them all, and feel free to pass them on.

It’s always a good idea to have some ammunition when you’re called upon to deliver a sarcastic response to a challenging individual. I hope some of these are worthy of your retention for future use.

Rude Sarcastic Quotes (1-10):

  1. Well, on the upside, at least I’m not you.
  2. Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?
  3. Listen honey, you need to go buy a brain.
  4. Why are you surprised that you’re still single?
  5. Do I dislike you? What gave you that impression?
  6. Anyone who tells you you’ve got two faces can’t count.
  7. Well, I’ve had the best evening ever. But this wasn’t it!
  8. If you really must speak, can you speak to someone else?
  9. If I seem cranky, it’s how I always react to people like you.
  10. Yes, there are people I like but you’ll never be one of them.

Rude Sarcastic Quotes (11-20):

  1. You couldn’t cope with me, even if I came with instructions.
  2. No, I wouldn’t call you a loser. That would be unfair to losers.
  3. I had heard that most people don’t like you. Now I know why.
  4. I’m guessing your circle of friends is non-existent. Am I right?
  5. Where did you get your fake tan done? The local Fanta factory?
  6. People like you are living proof that God has a sense of humour.
  7. You call that a steak? I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s pencil.
  8. If you don’t want a sarcastic response, then don’t test my patience.
  9. If you want my opinion for what it’s worth. You’re being an asshole.
  10. It’s called using your brain, difficult as I know that will sound to you.

Rude Sarcastic Quotes (21-30):

  1. There are people who bring sunshine into our lives and then there’s you.
  2. Yes, I value customers but there are exceptions. And you’re one of them.
  3. To you it may seem like I’m being mean, but to me, I’m just being honest.
  4. I’d try to explain it to you, but that would be like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall.
  5. Having a job title that sounds important is not quite the same as being important.
  6. You’ve got a face for radio and a voice for silent movies. How unfortunate for you.
  7. It’s best if you don’t do the thinking. The consequences don’t bear thinking about.
  8. If irritating me was your aim, then you’ve achieved something today. Happy now?
  9. Get over yourself. What’s so special about your job, other than a chair that swivels?
  10. I don’t do preferences. So, if that’s a problem for you, go and bother someone else.
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Rude Sarcastic Quotes (31-40):

  1. Expressing a preference for Taco Bell doesn’t make you an expert on Mexican cuisine.
  2. You’re offended by my comments? Oh well, we all have to cope with stuff we don’t like.
  3. The day was going so well, and then you showed up. Now, what did I do to deserve that?
  4. I’d tell you that you can be more than you are, but I wouldn’t want to give you false hope.
  5. Why are you moaning? I’ve got to serve people like you all day long but I’m not complaining.
  6. That your children are truly unpleasant is not their fault. Clearly, they take after their parents.
  7. Of course, I’m not very clever. That’s why I’m stuck here now, serving ungrateful people like you.
  8. Dislike is not a word I’d use to describe my feelings about you. Despise would be more accurate.
  9. I wasn’t giving you the finger. It was simply a visual indication that I was unimpressed with you.
  10. You need to think seriously about global warming before you share any more of your hot air with us.

Rude Sarcastic Quotes (41-50):

  1. You have an interesting look. A single eyebrow covering both eyes is not something I’ve seen before.
  2. Sarcastic? Moi? In this business, it’s mandatory to respond to a stupid question with a sarcastic remark.
  3. When he said you’re a pain in the neck, he was being polite. You’re actually a monumental pain in the ass.
  4. You think I’m being unpleasant now? Well, wait until I get into top gear, then you’ll truly experience unpleasant.
  5. You can hang your degree on the wall behind your desk, but I’ll judge your intelligence on results not a piece of paper.
  6. The problem with people like you is that you lack the self-awareness to realise just how much you irritate people like me.
  7. Wearing a silly hat and a clip-on, polyester tie may make you feel important but guess what? It doesn’t mean you are important.
  8. You’ve got more chance of winning the Kentucky Derby on a donkey than convincing me that you know what you’re talking about.
  9. I didn’t say you were cross-eyed. I said I wasn’t quite sure if you were looking at me or trying to see whether the bus was coming.
  10. I’m sorry. If I gave you the impression that I cared about what you think, that wasn’t my intention. I really don’t give a damn what you think.
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If any of these attitude quotes made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

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Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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15 Quotes by Bob Newhart reflecting his personal philosophy

Quotes by Bob Newhart
Photo by Alan Light

There are many fine comedians in this world, and many of the finest are American, in my opinion. And for me, one of the funniest American comedians of all time is Bob Newhart. He’s certainly made me laugh out loud, many times.

Many years ago, I was fortunate enough to stumble upon his audio recording of the Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart, and from that moment on, I was hooked.

This album was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

Imagine my situation, I was sitting in my car, waiting for the traffic lights to turn green. Suddenly on my car radio, they play the Tobacco sketch from that album. It was so funny that it had me laughing so much that people around me were starting to stare at me as if I’d gone mad. It was that funny. If you click the link above, you can listen to it.

And if you’re unfamiliar with Bob Newhart’s work, then I recommend you check him out. And a good place to start would be the Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart. It’s still available on Amazon HERE.

However, before you check it out, here are 15 quotes by Bob Newhart, some of which reflect his humour, some reflect his sense of the absurd, and some are just thought-provoking.

Quotes by Bob Newhart:

  1. The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour. ~Bob Newhart
  2. Don’t be silly and don’t waste your time. ~Bob Newhart
  3. Don’t live in the past. There’s no point. You can’t change anything. What a waste of time. ~Bob Newhart
  4. I don’t like country music but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down. ~Bob Newhart
  5. People are meant to be in certain places, and I think I’m meant to be on a sound stage doing situation comedy. ~Bob Newhart
  6. The best advice I was probably given and the best advice I could give someone who is trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills. ~Bob Newhart
  7. Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life. ~Bob Newhart
  8. I don’t know how doctors pick one speciality over another. Some you can understand. Paediatricians or gynaecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology? ~Bob Newhart
  9. With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attaches to the cell phone itself, it’s getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. ~Bob Newhart
  10. I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage. ~Bob Newhart
  11. All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world. ~Bob Newhart
  12. Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. ~Bob Newhart
  13. Probably the best advice I ever got in my life was from the head of the accounting department, Mr Hutchinson, at the Glidden Company in Chicago, and he told me, ‘You really aren’t cut out for accounting.’ ~Bob Newhart
  14. I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn’t work, then I knew it didn’t work. Then I would go back and do whatever. But at least I wouldn’t torture myself the rest of my life, wondering whatever would have happened. ~Bob Newhart
  15. All I can say about life is, ‘Oh God, enjoy it!’ ~Bob Newhart

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39 attitude quotes that take sarcasm to another level

Attitude Quotes

If you like attitude quotes, clever put-downs, and sarcasm, then you should enjoy this collection today.

39 sarcastic remarks to add to your quiver full of arrows. These are ammunition for use on another day when someone tries to have a go at you and needs reminding that you’re a person with whom they should not mess if they know what’s good for them.

Hopefully one or two of these might just give you a good laugh too. Enjoy them all.

Attitude quotes:

  1. I get it. Life’s a soup, and I’m a fork.
  2. If your phone doesn’t ring, it’ll be me.
  3. If I were a bird, I know who I’d shit on.
  4. Just be yourself isn’t always good advice.
  5. What doesn’t kill you can only disappoint me.
  6. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
  7. You look like something I drew with my left hand.
  8. If you’re the voice of reason, then we’re in trouble.
  9. If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
  10. Hey, I found your nose again. It was in my business.
  11. If only you ran like your mouth. You’d be in great shape.
  12. You’re such a treasure, why hasn’t someone buried you?
  13. You know, you have one really annoying habit. Breathing.
  14. If I was meant to be controlled, I’d have come with a remote.
  15. I have plenty of terrible ideas. Just let me know if you need any.
  16. I wasn’t being rude. I just said what everyone else was thinking.
  17. May your earholes turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders.
  18. Oh, darling, you should really go out and buy yourself a personality.
  19. I try to see the best in everyone but you’re making it really difficult.
  20. You think you know it all but clearly, you don’t know when to shut up.
  21. I’m really sorry if my sense of humour offended your total lack of one.
  22. WIFE to HUSBAND: Sure, I make terrible choices. One of them was you.
  23. I encouraged my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big hug.
  24. I’m not one for revenge but I might arrange for you to have an accident.
  25. Putting on your makeup every day must be hard, with you having two faces.
  26. They call it a selfie because narcissist is too hard for most people to spell.
  27. I can’t help but wonder why someone hasn’t hit you in the face with a shovel yet.
  28. When you spun the wheel of attitude this morning, clearly it landed on bitch again.
  29. I’d love to help you, but I don’t even play an active role in my own life anymore.
  30. Roses are red; violets are blue; I’ve got five fingers; the middle one’s for you.
  31. Do I think you’re pretentious? You’d eat worms in a deli if they came with a French name.
  32. There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you would have to be a psychiatrist.
  33. Apart from being physically exhausted, financially challenged, overweight, and mentally unstable, everything’s going really well. Thanks.
  34. It’s not for me to question your father’s sperm count, but, seriously, were you actually the sperm that won?
  35. If I’m smiling, I’m contemplating doing something really bad. If I’m laughing, I’ve already done it.
  36. I don’t have an attitude problem. You may have a problem with my attitude, but that’s not a problem for me.
  37. There are trees out there tirelessly producing oxygen, so you can breathe. I think you owe them an apology.
  38. When I was a child, my father told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. It seems, nowadays they call that identity theft.
  39. Let me stop you right there. If it involves early mornings, sweating, or dealing with people, then the answer’s No!

Attitude QuotesPlease share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these attitude quotes made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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15 memorable Cosmo Kramer quotes to brighten your day

Cosmo Kramer quotes
Photo by Alan Light

One of the most memorable sitcom characters of all time has to be Cosmo Kramer in Seinfeld, played by the excellent Michael Richards. So let’s take a look back at some of the best Cosmo Kramer quotes that made us all smile back in the day.

If you’re not old enough to remember the sitcom Seinfeld and Cosmo Kramer, in particular, then you’ll find plenty of amusing clips from this sitcom on YouTube. They’re all brilliant and well worth a little bit of your time.

So check them out but not before you’ve enjoyed these 15 memorable Cosmo Kramer quotes, which I hope will brighten your day.

Cosmo Kramer Quotes:

  1. Look away, I’m hideous.
  2. She’s got the Jimmy legs!
  3. Moles … freckles’ ugly cousin.
  4. Just make love to that wall pervert.
  5. You’re as pretty as any of them. You just need a nose job.
  6. Yeah, don’t worry, Jerry. We’re right on this guy like stink on a monkey.
  7. Because I’m like ice, buddy. When I don’t like you, you’ve got problems.
  8. Well, you know what they say, you don’t sell the steak; you sell the sizzle.
  9. There’s nothing more pathetic than a grown man who’s afraid of a woman.
  10. Jerry, my face is my livelihood, my allure, my twinkle! Everything I have, I owe to this face.
  11. Now, what does the little man inside you say? See, you gotta listen to the little man.
  12. Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint – it’s delicious.
  13. I love the name ‘Isosceles.’ If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.
  14. If everybody knew everybody, we wouldn’t have the problems we have in the world today. Well, you don’t rob somebody if you know their name!
  15. Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humour. You meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard.

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4 Contenders for Dad’s Joke of the Day to tickle you

Dad's Joke of the Day

If you’re looking for some contenders for Dad’s joke of the day, then I’ve got four gems here for you today, dear reader.

They all amused me, and I’m confident that, at least, one or two of them will tickle you too.

So, take a few minutes to enjoy them all.

And feel free to pass them on.

Dad’s Joke of the Day:

1. The Shipwreck:

Ten people are desperately hanging on to a rope under a helicopter being lifted away from the wreckage of a ship in stormy seas.

There are nine men and just one woman.

As they cling on for their lives, they begin to realise that the rope is simply not strong enough to bear the weight of ten people.

Naturally, they decide they must do something.

After talking amongst themselves, they decide that one of them must sacrifice themselves for the greater good, otherwise, they’ll all die.

An argument then began as to who that person should be.

After a few moments of heated debate, the woman gave a very touching speech.

I’m a woman,” she said, “and sacrifice is part of every woman’s life. We give everything for our families and in support of men everywhere. For the greater good, I will make this one last sacrifice.”

Well, the nine men were so impressed with her speech that they all began clapping.

While the woman was airlifted to safety alone.

Moral of the Story: You underestimate a woman at your peril.

2. The New Teacher:

Rick was a former sergeant in the US Marine Corps when he accepted a job as a teacher in a tough inner-city high school.

However, just before the school year began, Rick injured his back, and he needed to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.

Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt, so it wasn’t noticeable.

Having been a Marine, Rick found himself assigned to the toughest class in the school.

These kids were smart punks and determined to put their new teacher to the test.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, Rick opened the window wide and then sat down at his desk.

At that moment, a strong breeze blew his tie over his shoulder.

Unfazed, Rick just picked up the stapler from his desk and stapled his tie to his chest to stop it from being blown around again.

Suddenly, there was a dead silence. You could hear a pin drop as these kids sat open-mouthed, struggling to comprehend what they’d just observed.

The rest of the year went by without any problems for Rick.

Moral of the Story: You don’t mess with an old US Marine.

3. The Dress:

Alison’s wedding day is fast approaching, and nothing’s going to dampen her excitement, not even her parents’ divorce.

Alison’s mother has found the perfect dress to wear, and everyone is convinced that she’ll be the best-dressed bride’s mother ever.

All is going smoothly until Alison suddenly learns that her father’s new young wife has bought the same dress as her mother.

So, Alison asks her father’s new wife to exchange it, but she refuses.

Definitely not!” says her father’s wife. “In this dress, I’ll look a million dollars, so I’m wearing it.”

Alison tells her mother the story and is surprised when her mother responds graciously, “Never mind, dear, I’ll just get another dress. After all, it is your special day.

A few days later, they go shopping, and they find another beautiful dress.

This one is even better than the first one. It makes her mother look stunning.

When they’re having lunch, Alison says to her mother, “Mom, aren’t you going to return the other dress? You don’t have another occasion when you’ll wear it.

Alison’s mother smiled and said, “Of course, I will, dear. I’ll be wearing it for the rehearsal dinner, the night before the wedding.”

Moral of the Story: If you think you can get one over on an older woman, think again.

4. The Job Advert:

Jim is unemployed and desperately searching for a job when he sees an advertisement in his local newspaper that says, “PHOTOGRAPHER WANTED: For photographing models for a Miami-based luxury women’s swimwear company.”

Now Jim’s handy with a camera and thinks this could be the perfect job for him.

However, on reflection, he thinks that perhaps it could all be just a practical joke.

So, he calls the number included in the advertisement.

Oh, hi!” says Jim when his call is answered. “The advertisement in my local newspaper suggests you need a photographer. Is this true, or is it just a practical joke?

No, it’s genuine,” says the guy at the other end of the line. “One of our photographers resigned after an argument with the boss last week, so we now need a new one.

That’s great,” says Jim. “I’m looking for a job, and I’m good with a camera. And I can start immediately.

OK. Well, I need to ask you a few questions,” says the guy. “Are you married? Our models tend to feel uncomfortable if they have pictures taken by married men.

Well, that’s understandable,” Jim responds, “but I’m single, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

Excellent!” says the guy. “Now, are you able to control yourself around attractive young women? Some of our models are stunningly beautiful.”

I have the greatest respect for women,” says Jim, “so I’m more than capable of keeping everything at a professional level.”

Brilliant!” says the guy. “Now, our photoshoots are often based on sandy beaches in exotic locations, so, do you have a passport?

Yes,” says Jim, “I do have a current passport.”

Right,” says the guy, “it sounds like you’re suitably qualified for the job.  How quickly can you get to Seattle?

Seattle?” Jim says, somewhat surprised. “The advertisement said the job’s based in Miami!

It is,” says the guy, “but Seattle is where the back of the line of applicants is right now.

Moral of the Story: A dream job will attract a lot of applicants.

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So, were any of these jokes worthy contenders for Dad’s Joke of the Day, dear reader? I hope so.

However, perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh. If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today, then please share these jokes with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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9 hilariously funny jokes that’ll tickle you silly

hilariously funny jokes

If you’re looking for some hilariously funny jokes, dear reader, then I have nine gems today that will tickle you silly. I’m confident they’ll brighten your day.

So take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to share them all.

Hilariously funny jokes:

1. National identity:

A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Irishman and an Englishman were captured while fighting in a foreign war.

Their situation was quite desperate when the leader of their captors suddenly announces, “As enemies of our people, you’ll all be shot by firing squad. You’ll each be shot in turn. However we’re civilised people, so first you’ll each be allowed a final request.

The Scotsman says quickly, “I’d like to hear ‘Flower of Scotland’ played by the Band of the Scots Guards, to remind me of happy days in bonny Scotland.” He then shouts, “Scotland forever!

The Welshman says, “Well I’d like to hear ‘Men of Harlech’ sung by the Treorchy Male Voice Choir to remind me of the green, green grass of home and those happy times when I lived in the Valleys.” He then shouts, “God bless the Land of my Fathers!

The Irishman, not to be outdone, says, “For me, I want to hear ‘Danny Boy’ just one more time to remind me of the auld country. I want it sung in the style of Daniel O’Donnell.” Then, taking his lead from his Celtic cousins he shouts, “Éirinn go Brách.

The leader of their captors then looks at the Englishman who’s remained silent up to this point. “So Englishman, what’s your request?” he says.

The Englishman responds, “I’d like to be shot first.

2. Nun outside a Dublin bar:

A guy is walking into a Dublin bar and standing right outside the door is a nun.

Top of the morning to you sister!” says the guy with a smile.

The nun looks at him sternly and says, “Before you enter this den of iniquity, please think about your mother and your father.

But sister, my poor mother and father have long since passed away, sadly. They’re with the angels now” the guy responds.

Then think of the damage the alcohol will do to your brain,” says the nun.

Sister, what are you talking about? Have you ever had a drink?” asks the guy.

No! Certainly not!” says the nun.

Then in the name of God sister, how can you say it damages the brain if you’ve never actually had a drink?” asks the guy.

The guy thinks for a minute and then he says, “Listen, sister, I’ll tell you what. I’ll go in and get you a drink, you can try it and if you don’t like it then you can talk about it. But you can’t talk about something you’ve never even experienced.

The nun says, “Aye, alright, I’ll try a drink.

The guy then says, “So, what’ll you have then?

I don’t know”, says the nun “What do ladies generally drink?

The guy says, “All the ones I know like a glass of gin.

The nun smiles and says, “Alright, I’ll have a gin but get it in a cup so no one will notice.”

So the guy goes into the bar and says to the barman, “I’ll have a pint of Guinness please bartender and a large gin. But can you put the gin in a cup?

The barman smiles at him and says, “Jeez, is that feckin’ nun hanging around outside again.

3. Life in Hell:

hilariously funny jokes

John did his best to lead a good and honest life but sadly, upon his passing, he’s allocated a place in Hell.

John arrives at the gates of Hell, a little disappointed and he’s looking fairly despondent when another man walks up to him and says, “Hello I’m Jim, you’re looking a little glum.

To which John replies, “Well, I thought I’d be enjoying a place in heaven right now but nothing ever works out like you think it will, does it?

Seeing John’s not very happy, Jim tries to cheer him up. “Listen, buddy, Hell isn’t so bad really.

John says, “Really?

Yeah, really”, says Jim. “Hey, do you like beer?

Yes I love beer”, John responds.

Then you’ll love Fridays here in Hell. Every Friday is beer day. We drink gallons and gallons of beer all day long. There’s no limit, you can drink as much as you like”, says Jim.

Doesn’t that make you sick and give you a terrible hangover?” asks John

No! We’re dead! It has no effect on us”, says Jim. “Hey, do you like drugs?

Well, I did smoke a little Mary Jane in my College days”, says John.

Then you’ll love Saturdays here in Hell”, says Jim. “Every Saturday we smoke marijuana all day long. We smoke doobies as big as submarines. It’s fantastic.

Doesn’t that make you sick?” asks John

No! We’re dead! It has no effect on us”, says Jim. “Do you like food?

Sure, who doesn’t like food? I love food,” says John.

Then you’re going to love Sundays here in Hell”, says Jim. “Every Sunday they roast Ox; a whole one for each of us. We stuff ourselves with roast Ox and all the trimmings all day long. In Hell, we do everything to excess and doing everything to excess is mandatory here. We’re dead, so no worries.

Wow!” says John. “Hell actually sounds like a really cool place.

It does, doesn’t it?” Jim responds.

Hey, are you Gay?” Jim then asks.

No”, says John “I love sleeping with women.

Jim frowns and says, “Hmm, in that case, you’ll hate Mondays.

4. Unrealistic expectations:

A recent engineering graduate is having an interview for his first job with a big technology company.

The young graduate is fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and he’s clearly very impressed with himself.

As the interview is nearing an end the Human Resources officer asks him, “So John, what are your expectations in terms of a starting salary?

The young graduate replies, “Well I’d be looking for something in the region of $125,000 a year. However, the exact figure I’d accept would depend on the benefits package.

His interviewer smiles and says, “Well John, what would you say to 5 weeks annual vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental cover, the company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, plus a company car, say a Ford Mustang GT?

The young graduate engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?

The HR officer replies, “Yes of course I am John, but you started it.

5. Bus full of ugly people:

A bus full of ugly people is involved in a head-on collision with a truck and all the passengers are killed.

They all arrive in heaven and, feeling sorry for them, God decides they can each have one wish.

A woman is the first person and she says, “I want to be gorgeous.

So God snaps his fingers and suddenly she is stunningly attractive.

A man is next and he makes a similar request. “I want to be handsome,” he says.

This goes on with each passenger in turn essentially making the same request. They all want to be irresistibly good-looking.

With a number of passengers yet to express their wishes, God notices that the last man in the line who has also yet to make a request is laughing hysterically.

By the time God gets to the last few people, the last man in the line is laughing uncontrollably and he’s rolling around on the ground.

When it comes to his turn the man laughs some more and then says, “I wish they’re all ugly again.

Moral of the story: In any group, there’s always one person hell-bent on making life difficult for everyone else.

6. A child’s view:

One evening, young Grace was sitting next to her grandfather as he read her a bedtime story.

From time to time, Grace would take her eyes off the book and reach up and touch her grandfather’s wrinkled face.

Fascinated by the lines on his face, she touched his cheek and then she touched her own, comparing how they felt so different.

After some thought, Grace asked, “Grandpa, did God make you?

He looked at her, smiled and said, “Yes, sweetheart, God made me a very long time ago.

Grace paused momentarily and then asked, “Did God make me too?

Her grandfather smiled and then responded, “Yes, munchkin, God made you too, but not so very long ago.

Grace touched his face once again and then she whispered, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he?

7. The warrior and the old man:

A fleeing warrior is lost in the desert and he’s in desperate need of water.

Suddenly he sees what he thinks is a bar far off in the distance.

Hoping he might find water there, he hurries towards the bar only to find a little old man selling ties.

The warrior asks, “Do you have any water?

The old replies, “No I don’t have any water. Would you like to buy a tie? They’re only $5.

The warrior is irritated by his response and says, “No! I don’t need an overpriced tie right now. I need water! Do you realize I’m armed? I could kill you. However, I must find water first.

Alright,” says the old man, “It doesn’t matter to me that you don’t want to buy a tie and that you don’t like me. I will show you that I’m the bigger person. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant, owned by my brother. It will have all the ice-cold water you need. God be with you“.

Muttering, the warrior staggers off over the hill.

Several hours later he staggers back, almost dead.

Your brother won’t let me in without a tie.

8. The magic trick:

Two broke and hungry friends, Bill and George walk into a pastry shop in Manhattan.

As the baker’s back is turned, Bill grabs three cookies quickly and stuffs them in his trouser pocket with lightning speed.

The baker’s back is still turned, so he doesn’t notice.

Bill smiles at George, winks his eye and says, “Did you see that? Did you see how clever I was there? You’ll never beat that will you?

Really? Do you think so? Watch this.” George replies.

He then says to the baker, “If you’ll give me a cookie, I’ll show you a magic trick. And I promise you, you’ll be impressed.

So the baker hands him a cookie which George then eats.

Then George says to the baker: “I’ll need another cookie from you for my magic trick to work.

The baker is a bit suspicious but he gives George another cookie. Once again he eats the cookie.

Then George says, “I’m really sorry but I’ll need one more cookie if this trick is to work.

The baker is really not amused by now and he says, “Is this some kind of joke?

George assures him the trick is genuine and all will be revealed after the next Cookie. So the baker gives him another cookie which George promptly eats, once again.

The baker is starting to get mad and he yells, “So where’s the magic?

George points at Bill and then says: “You’ll find three cookies in this guy’s pocket. That’s magic!

9. A woman golfing:

A woman is out golfing. Playing off the first tee, she’s not quite got her swing right and she slices the ball on her first attempt and watches it disappear deep into the woods.

Not a great start she thinks. So she trudges off looking for her ball.

As she’s scratching around in the woods she can’t find her ball but she does find a frog stuck in a trap.

The frog is relieved to have finally been discovered, having been stuck there for quite some time. So the frog says to the woman, “Lady if you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.

Now, who wouldn’t want three wishes? So the woman immediately frees the frog.

The frog is grateful but then says, “Lady, thank you. I appreciate your help. However, I failed to mention that there will be a condition to your wishes.

A little puzzled, the woman asks, “And what’s that?

Well,” says the frog, “Whatever you wish for, your husband will also receive but multiplied by a factor of ten!

The woman thinks for a minute and then says, “That’s fine.

Then for her first wish, she says, “I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog smiles but warns her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world? He will be an Adonis and no woman will be able to resist his charms.

The woman thinks for a minute and then says, “That’s alright, because I will be the most beautiful woman in the world, so he will only have eyes for me.

With that there is a ‘Poof’ sound and the woman is immediately transformed into the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog then says, “And for your second wish? What would you like?

For her second wish, the woman says, “I want to be the richest woman in the world.

Once again the frog feels compelled to issue a warning. “Lady, this will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.

The woman says, “That’s fine. We’re married, so what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.

Once again there is a ‘Poof’ sound and the woman is suddenly the richest woman in the world.

The frog then says, “Right, it’s now time for your final wish. What will it be?

The woman replies, “I’d like a mild heart attack.

Moral of the story: Women are clever. So don’t mess with them.

Attention Ladies: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue to feel good.

Male Readers: Please scroll down.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women think they’re really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

NOTE: And ladies if you’re still reading this, it only goes to show that women never listen to men.

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I hope you found these hilariously funny jokes amusing dear reader.

However, perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today then please share these hilariously funny jokes with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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How to be a good parent and raise a well-balanced child

How to be a good parent and raise a well-balanced child? Now there’s a question worthy of consideration, surely?

It’s a question that’s important because children are the adults of tomorrow. So how you nurture your children does matter.

Parenting is one of life’s great experiences. I can tell you that from personal experience. I’ve had many fine experiences in my life so far, but none have been better or given me greater pleasure and satisfaction than being a parent.

However, parenting is also an interesting experience because nothing in life before you become a parent prepares you for the enormity of the role you’re taking on.

How to be a good parent:

1. Your gift to the world:

Anyone beyond the age of sexual maturity can become a parent fairly easily, assuming you can find a willing partner.

And yet you don’t receive any training for the role at all. None!

You spend 12–14 years at school, and not once does the curriculum cover how to be a good parent. Even if you go on to college or university, the course will not cover parenting at any stage.

And you’ll only realise the magnitude of the task you’ve taken on the day you bring your first child home from the hospital. That’s the point at which the enormity of the challenge will begin to sink in.

Certainly, that’s the way it was for me and my wife, Joan.

Parenting is undoubtedly a great experience, but it’s also a great responsibility.

Your children are your gift to the world.

They’re the future. They’ll be the adults and taxpayers of tomorrow, and they’ll take the baton from your generation and carry it forward.

So how they’re nurtured matters, and the nurturing process must be taken seriously.

2. Your home environment matters:

How to be a Good Parent

Preparation begins with the place in which your children will live their early lives. Your home environment matters, both physically and emotionally.

A parent’s power to create a loving, stable home with a healthy and positive atmosphere and an environment in which children can develop, thrive, and grow is so awesome that it must be used both consciously and responsibly.

So, discipline yourself and control your emotions.

Give your children the light and warmth of love, hope, good cheer, and constant encouragement.

In your home, the physical environment matters, of course, but the emotional environment matters even more, in my opinion. If there’s a bad vibe, children will pick up on it, and it will affect them over time.

3. Be positive, enthusiastic, and supportive:

Raising children can be challenging at the best of times, but remember this: They didn’t ask to be born.

That they’re here on this earth is your responsibility, and you owe it to them to be the best parent you can be.

So you must make a conscious effort to be positive, enthusiastic, and supportive at all times.

This can have an enormously positive impact not only on the emotional well-being of your children but also on their ability to experience the joys and pains of childhood in healthy and constructive ways.

Enjoy every minute with them because the years will fly by all too quickly.

Giving them your time is far more important than any material possessions you might buy for them. Money spent is no substitute for time missed. Happiness is created; it can’t be bought.

Fill your house with joy and laughter. That’s the soil in which healthy children will flourish and grow.

4. Ensure they have a balanced life:

Encourage your children to strike a balance between their schoolwork and the pursuit of the things they genuinely enjoy doing. In that, I’m referring to sports, games, drama, music, and all forms of creative pursuits.

Recognize the importance of an education that will both stretch them and broaden their minds.

Ensure they have a sound grasp of concept-based subjects.

Foster their creative, sporting, and vocational talents.

If something appeals to them, then encourage them to give it a try.

Yes, it might prove to be a five-minute wonder, but equally, it could prove to be something on which their entire future is built.

Just think about Elton John playing the piano or Jimmy Page learning to play the guitar. Imagine if their parents had said, “No, we’re not wasting money on that; you won’t stick with it.

If they find something that they not only enjoy but are good at too, then that will help them build self-confidence and sociability.

And make sure you help them develop their ability to think, speak, and write clearly. These are life’s most important skills.

If they can also develop a dash of style, then that’ll really make them stand out amongst their peers.

5. Establish boundaries and a moral framework:

Set boundaries and make sure they know the penalty for any transgression. And should they cross a boundary, they must know that you’ll ensure that they pay that penalty.

However, it’s not about punishment, it’s about making sure that they learn to make good choices because, ultimately, the choices they make will dictate the quality of the life they lead.

Above all, provide them with the moral framework within which they can lead their lives respectably.

And remember, if you want them to live by the moral code you establish, then you must live by it too. Children will always notice what you do, even if they don’t hear what you say.

How to be a Good Parent6. Keep expectations realistic:

Have high yet realistic expectations of your children.

However, temper those expectations with realism.

Parental expectations are good for children in so far as they help motivate them to strive to achieve and do their best.

Stretching a child can help them realize their full potential, but any stretching must be consistent with the child’s natural ability. Setting them up for an obvious failure would do them more harm than good.

7. Place responsibility on their shoulders:

As they grow and mature, be sure to give them some regular chores to do and gradually place responsibility on their shoulders.

Pocket money should be earned. That ensures they realise that there’s no such thing as a free ride. Money is what we get for doing things for other people. That’s the real nature of work, and it’s a lesson they must learn as early as possible.

Placing responsibility on their shoulders and making them earn their pocket money should instill in them a strong work ethic, which they’ll need if they’re to succeed in life.

Please don’t make the mistake of making it all too easy for them.

Doing that may seem like you’re being kind to them, but in fact, you’d be doing them a great disservice.

Making it all too easy is foolish.

8. Enjoy their achievements:

Enjoy their achievements, but don’t be too disappointed if they don’t quite manage to live up to everything you expect of them.

As long as they’ve done their best, then that’s all you can reasonably expect of them.

However, never, ever let your work or your social life take precedence over you attending their parents’ evening, sports day, school plays, or any of the other significant events in their young lives.

You may not think it matters to a child, but, trust me, it does. I can tell you from my personal experience that it matters a lot to them.

9. Create that rare bird:

If you can do all of these things, you will produce that rare bird, otherwise known as the well-educated, polite, balanced, and confident young person with a strong work ethic.

Achieve that, and the world will be grateful for your contribution to the future.

Never underestimate the importance of good parenting.

Parenting is life’s most important role, and it matters far more than any career. It’s the most important work you’ll ever do, whether you’re the mother or the father.

And when you realise that your children have grown up to be decent human beings, you’ll be glad you took it all seriously.

Lessons in parenting:

At the beginning of this post, I said that we don’t receive any training in parenting.

Actually, that’s not quite true.

Once we become parents for the first time, our parents become the role models we try to emulate. We tend to follow their approach to parenting and do what they do.

So by becoming a good parent yourself, you’ll not only produce well-balanced children, but you’ll also ensure that they have a good role model to follow when they have their children.

Become a good parent, and at least two generations will benefit from you taking your role seriously.

So the world benefits twice. Now that’s a real legacy, surely?

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If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

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Thank you for your support.

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.

101 World Proverbs to help you reflect on life

If you’re looking for some inspirational world proverbs to help you reflect on life and its meaning, then I’ve curated 101 of them just for you, dear reader.

There are some excellent world proverbs here that’ll make you think and hopefully give you greater insight into life, its meaning, and different communities’ philosophies everywhere.

Proverbs contain the wisdom of the ancients and provide useful reminders that people everywhere are just the same. We’re all just trying to get through life as best we can.

So enjoy them all and feel free to pass them on.

World Proverbs (1-20):

  1. If there’s no wind, row. ~Latin Proverb
  2. Talk doesn’t cook rice. ~Chinese Proverb
  3. A half-truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb
  4. A friend’s eye is a good mirror. ~Irish Proverb
  5. Honour is better than honours. ~Belgian Proverb
  6. Hope is the bread of the poor. ~Turkish Proverb
  7. Not my circus. Not my monkeys. ~Polish Proverb
  8. Hospitality is one form of worship. ~Jewish Proverb
  9. Conscience is the voice of the soul. ~Polish Proverb
  10. A wheel that turns gathers no rust. ~Greek Proverb
  11. Sunshine all the time makes a desert. ~Arab Proverb
  12. All married women are not wives. ~Japanese Proverb
  13. He that falls by himself never cries. ~Turkish Proverb
  14. No road is long with good company. ~Turkish Proverb
  15. Who lies for you will lie against you. ~Bosnian Proverb
  16. Real gold does not fear the furnace. ~Chinese Proverb
  17. Work like an ant and you’ll eat sugar. ~Yemeni Proverb
  18. A bad tree does not yield good apples. ~Danish Proverb
  19. A good deed dies when it’s spoken about. ~Arab Proverb
  20. He that knows patience knows peace. ~Chinese Proverb

World Proverbs (21-40):

  1. A fish gets bigger when it gets away. ~Japanese Proverb
  2. Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is. ~German proverb
  3. You won’t gain knowledge by drinking ink. ~Arab Proverb
  4. You cannot strike a face that is smiling. ~Korean Proverb
  5. Money buys everything but good sense. ~Yiddish Proverb
  6. The real hero doesn’t say that he’s one. ~Filipino Proverb
  7. Five fingers are brothers but not equals. ~Afghan Proverb
  8. Fear an ignorant man more than a lion. ~Kurdish Proverb
  9. A bad son gives his mother a bad name. ~Ivorian Proverb
  10. Eat what is cooked, listen to what is said. Russian Proverb
  11. A good meal ought to begin with hunger. ~French Proverb
  12. He who puts up with insult invites injury. ~Jewish Proverb
  13. Do not push the river, it will flow by itself. ~Polish Proverb
  14. Save money and money will save you. ~Jamaican Proverb
  15. Always leave a little room for a mistake. ~Chinese Proverb
  16. Against stupidity, God himself is helpless. ~Jewish Proverb
  17. Many a time a man’s mouth broke his nose. ~Irish Proverb
  18. Do not be wise in words, be wise in deeds. ~Jewish Proverb
  19. Put off for one day and ten days will pass. ~Korean Proverb
  20. The blind cannot see. The proud will not. ~Russian Proverb

World Proverbs (41-60):

  1. What is cheap is always the most costly. ~German Proverb
  2. A silent man is the best one to listen to. ~Japanese Proverb
  3. For every wise man, there’s one still wiser. ~Kurdish Proverb
  4. A lie has no author, nor a liar a conscience. ~Indian Proverb
  5. The usefulness of a cup is in its emptiness. ~Chinese Proverb
  6. The frog forgets that he was once a tadpole. ~Korean Proverb
  7. Loose tongues are worse than wicked hands. ~Jewish Proverb
  8. The beard does not make the philosopher. ~American Proverb
  9. He that speaks, sows; He that hears, reaps. ~Turkish Proverb
  10. Better an honest enemy than a false friend. ~German Proverb
  11. A wooden bed is better than a golden coffin. ~Russian Proverb
  12. There’s nothing so bad that it couldn’t be worse. ~Irish Proverb
  13. Cast no dirt into the well that gives you water. ~Korean Proverb
  14. He who never doubts doesn’t know anything. ~Spanish Proverb
  15. Patience is a bitter plant, but its fruit is sweet. ~Chinese Proverb
  16. He who wants the rose must respect the thorn. ~Persian Proverb
  17. Birds are caught with seed, men with money. ~Armenian Proverb
  18. If you want to build high, you must dig deep. ~Mongolian Proverb
  19. If you’re going to seek revenge, dig two graves. ~Chinese Proverb
  20. There’s no greater fraud than a promise not kept. ~Gaelic Proverb
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World Proverbs (61-80):

  1. A hungry wolf is stronger than a satisfied dog. ~Ukrainian Proverb
  2. Listen with one ear; be suspicious with the other. ~Laotian Proverb
  3. A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. ~Italian Proverb
  4. The riches that are in the heart cannot be stolen. ~Russian Proverb
  5. If there’s a way into the wood, there’s also a way out. ~Irish Proverb
  6. Ask the experienced rather than the learned. ~Saudi Arabian Proverb
  7. You’ll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind. ~Irish Proverb
  8. A friend you have to buy; enemies you get for nothing. ~Jewish Proverb
  9. Lower your voice and strengthen your argument. ~Lebanese Proverb
  10. People show their character by what they laugh at. ~German Proverb
  11. Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains. ~Yiddish Proverb
  12. You can’t wake a person who’s pretending to be asleep. ~Navajo Proverb
  13. When a habit begins to cost money, it’s called a hobby. ~Jewish Proverb
  14. Why would you use poison if you can kill with money? ~Bosnian Proverb
  15. A dog will always be a dog, even if he is raised by lions. ~Lebanese Proverb
  16. It’s the same life whether we spend it laughing or crying. ~Japanese Proverb
  17. A closed mouth and open eyes never did anyone any harm. ~German Proverb
  18. Better to be guilty in the eyes of men than in the eyes of God. ~Malagasy Proverb
  19. A fool says what he knows, and a wise man knows what he says. ~Yiddish Proverb
  20. He who returns from a journey is not the same as he who left. ~Chinese Proverb

World Proverbs (81-90):

  1. A man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others. ~Jewish Proverb
  2. A light is still a light, even though the blind man cannot see it. ~Austrian Proverb
  3. The glory is not in never falling but in rising every time you fall. ~Chinese Proverb
  4. Who has not tasted what is bitter does not know what is sweet. ~German Proverb
  5. Teachers open the door but you must walk through it yourself. ~Chinese Proverb
  6. A woman prefers a man without money to money without a man. ~Greek Proverb
  7. The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. ~Chinese Proverb
  8. If you don’t have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over. ~Russian Proverb
  9. If you do not experience anything, it’s impossible to gain knowledge. ~Chinese Proverb
  10. Better to write down something one time than to read something ten times. ~Japanese Proverb

World Proverbs (91-101):

  1. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. ~Chinese Proverb
  2. A clean mouth and an honest hand will take a man through any land. ~German Proverb
  3. Don’t let your mouth carry you where your foot can’t bring you back from. ~Bahamian Proverb
  4. Never trust the man who tells you all his troubles but keeps from you all his joys. ~Jewish Proverb
  5. We count our miseries carefully and accept our blessings without much thought. ~Chinese Proverb
  6. A wise man makes his own decisions; an ignorant man follows public opinion. ~Chinese Proverb
  7. The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour. ~Japanese Proverb
  8. The man who gives little with a smile gives more than the man who gives much with a frown. ~Jewish Proverb
  9. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. ~Chinese Proverb
  10. The secret to living well and longer is eating half, walking double, laughing triple, and loving without measure. ~Tibetan Proverb
  11. We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, learn, grow, love, and return home. ~Indigenous Australian Proverb

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world proverbs

Did you find these world proverbs interesting and thought-provoking?

You did? I do hope so anyway.

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Thank you, dear reader.

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7 inspirational quotes about marriage

Marriage can be a thorny subject for some and a source of great pleasure for others. If a successful marriage is your aim, then you’ll need to master the art of compromise, as well as choose a life partner for whom you have the greatest respect and whose company you enjoy.

Friendship is at the heart of any successful marriage, and friendship is a relationship of equals.

That means the power dynamic in your relationship must be balanced. Both parties must feel that their needs are being met.

You’re a team, and as with all teams, each of you has a role to play. One person cannot be expected to bear the burden of doing everything while the other person does nothing. That’s not fair, nor is it sustainable.

A successful marriage can be your greatest investment. Choose your partner wisely, and a successful relationship can be yours. Whereas, failing to choose carefully could prove to be painful for all concerned.

So today I offer you seven inspirational quotes about marriage to help you reflect on what is one of life’s great institutions.

Remember this; choose well and nurture your relationship, and it can last a lifetime.

Find the right partner, and you’ll appreciate their presence in your life with each passing year and much more so as you get older.

Inspirational quotes about marriage:

  1. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ~Socrates
  2. Happy is the man who finds a true friend and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. ~Franz Schubert
  3. It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  4. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. ~Winston Churchill
  5. Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. ~James Dobson
  6. The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time. ~Julia Child
  7. Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be goodwill lasts very long. ~Amy Grant

If you like poetry, this poem about marriage might appeal to you. It certainly conveys my philosophy about marriage and finding a life partner. Check it out HERE.

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Inspirational Quotes About Marriage

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101 inspirational proverbs from around the world

Proverbs from around the world

I find proverbs inspirational, and I’ve been collecting some more proverbs from around the world.

I thought readers might find it interesting if I shared some of them.

So here are 101 great proverbs, which I hope will inspire.

Enjoy them all, and feel free to share them with your friends.

Proverbs from around the world (1 – 20):

  1. Mewing cats catch no mice. ~Georgian Proverb
  2. To begin is easy, to persist is art. ~German Proverb
  3. Anger and madness are brothers. ~African Proverb
  4. He who is guilty has much to say. ~Ghanaian Proverb
  5. Dig the well before you are thirsty. ~Chinese Proverb
  6. A man dies when he stops working. ~Hebrew Proverb
  7. Nothing seems expensive on credit. ~Czech Proverb
  8. Wisdom has long ears and a short tongue. ~Swedish Proverb
  9. A man grows most tired while standing still. ~Chinese Proverb
  10. Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. ~Jewish Proverb
  11. A fool cannot undo the knot tied by a wise man. ~African Proverb
  12. A good neighbour increases the value if your property. ~Czech Proverb
  13. It is in the shelter of each other that the people live. ~Irish Proverb
  14. Don’t tell the man who’s carrying you that he stinks. ~African Proverb
  15. Everyone wants to live long, but no one wants to be called old. ~Icelandic Proverb
  16. Love many, trust few and always paddle your own canoe. ~American Proverb
  17. When the character of a man is not clear, look at his friends. ~Japanese Proverb
  18. A man profits more by the spectacle of a fool than by the speeches of the wise. ~African Proverb
  19. The child who’s not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel the warmth. ~African Proverb
  20. The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them. ~Turkish Proverb

Proverbs from around the world (21 – 40):

  1. Need is a bad negotiator. ~Icelandic Proverb
  2. Gold, when beaten, shines. ~Peruvian Proverb
  3. The bitter heart eats its owner. ~Bantu Proverb
  4. A closed mouth catches no flies. ~French Proverb
  5. Truth is the first victim of war. ~African Proverb
  6. A tree doesn’t fall with one blow. ~Yiddish Proverb
  7. Character can be built on daily routine. ~Japanese Proverb
  8. Only a fool tests the water with both feet. ~African Proverb
  9. A talkative bird will not build a nest. ~West African Proverb
  10. The longer the tongue, the shorter the hands. ~Czech Proverb
  11. Worries go down better with soup than without. ~Jewish Proverb
  12. There is a deep sea between saying and doing. ~Italian Proverb
  13. Calm water does not mean there are no crocodiles. ~Indonesian Proverb
  14. Persistence can grind an iron beam into a needle. ~Chinese Proverb
  15. A mother will understand what her dumb son says. ~Georgian Proverb
  16. A diplomat must always think twice before he says nothing. ~Irish Proverb
  17. Listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once. ~Turkish Proverb
  18. Luck sometimes visits a fool, but it never sits down with him. ~German Proverb
  19. Rejoice not at thine enemy’s fall, but don’t rush to pick him up either. ~Jewish Proverb
  20. A doctor will take care of the rich man; the poor man is cured with work. ~Polish Proverb
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Proverbs from around the world (41 – 60):

  1. Blame is a lazy man’s wages. ~Danish Proverb
  2. A contented man is always rich. ~Latin Proverb
  3. A speaker of truth has no friends. ~African Proverb
  4. Silence is a fence around wisdom. ~German Proverb
  5. When deeds speak, words are nothing. ~African Proverb
  6. Bad is called good when worse happens. ~Norwegian Proverb
  7. The mother of idiots is always pregnant. ~Italian Proverb
  8. A man who cries all the time is not heard. ~African Proverb
  9. The smoother the path the easier it is to slip. ~Estonian Proverb
  10. Do not stand in a place of danger trusting in miracles. ~African Proverb
  11. Where you sit when you’re old shows where you stood in youth. ~African Proverb
  12. No matter the economy of the jungle, the lion will never eat grass. ~African Proverb
  13. Until the lion learns to write, every story will glorify the hunter. ~African Proverb
  14. To talk much and arrive nowhere is the same as climbing a tree to catch a fish. ~Chinese Proverb
  15. Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time. ~Chinese Proverb
  16. The doctor demands his fees whether he has killed the illness or the patient. ~Polish Proverb
  17. Educate a man and you educate an individual. Educate a woman and you educate a nation. ~African Proverb
  18. The wise man, even when he holds his tongue, says more than the fool when he speaks. ~Yiddish Proverb
  19. If men swear that they want to harm you when you’re asleep, you can go to sleep. If a woman says so, stay awake. ~African Proverb
  20. He who asks a question is a fool for a minute. He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. ~Chinese Proverb

Proverbs from around the world (61 – 80):

  1. Who gives, has. ~Lithuanian Proverb
  2. Advisers run no risks. ~English Proverb
  3. Nothing is easy for the unwilling. ~Gaelic Proverb
  4. Adversity is the mother of wisdom. ~German Proverb
  5. Being happy is better than being king. ~African Proverb
  6. When the music changes, so does the dance. ~African Proverb
  7. If your face is ugly, you can’t blame the mirror. ~Chinese Proverb
  8. He who’s afraid of asking is ashamed of learning. ~Danish Proverb
  9. The eyes do not see what the mind does not want. ~Indian Proverb
  10. If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it. ~Chinese Proverb
  11. Speak the truth but leave immediately afterwards. ~Slovenian Proverb
  12. A people without faith in themselves cannot survive. ~Chinese Proverb
  13. Be not afraid of going slowly. Be afraid of standing still. ~Japanese Proverb
  14. He who conquers his anger has conquered an enemy. ~German Proverb
  15. Never promise a poor person, and never owe a rich one. ~Brazilian Proverb
  16. Everybody loves a fool, but nobody wants him for a son. ~Ivorian Proverb
  17. Every time you laugh a nail is removed from your coffin. ~Honduran Proverb
  18. If you tell your secret to your friend, you will make him your master. ~Spanish Proverb
  19. If you forgive the fox for stealing your chickens, he will take your sheep. ~Georgian Proverb
  20. Honorable is the person who is aware of their power, yet refrains from inflicting harm on others. ~Egyptian Proverb

Proverbs from around the world (81 – 101):

  1. Hate has no medicine. ~Ghanaian Proverb
  2. A dog with a bone knows no friend. ~Dutch Proverb
  3. A blind cat catches only a dead rat. ~Chinese Proverb
  4. Day has its eyes, night has its ears. ~Japanese Proverb
  5. Pride is the mask of one’s own faults. ~Jewish Proverb
  6. He that promises most will perform least. ~Gaelic Proverb
  7. A slave does not choose his master. ~Ghanaian Proverb
  8. A tailless dog cannot express his joy. ~Albanian Proverb
  9. Beloved children have many names. ~Hungarian Proverb
  10. Ask for advice then use your head. ~Norwegian Proverb
  11. Fear an ignorant man more than a lion. ~Turkish Proverb
  12. An idiot is eloquent when he stays silent. ~Japanese Proverb
  13. Always tell the truth in the form of a joke. ~Armenian Proverb
  14. A dog that barks all the time gets little attention. ~Argentine Proverb
  15. Choose your company before you choose your drink. ~Gaelic Proverb
  16. Familiarity breeds contempt; distance brings respect. ~African Proverb
  17. He who is unkind to his own will not be kind to others. ~Galician Proverb
  18. Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ~Burmese Proverb
  19. Offer the lazy man an egg and he’ll want you to peel it for him. ~Lithuanian Proverb
  20. Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. ~African Proverb
  21. Even though you know a thousand things, ask the man who knows one. ~Turkish Proverb

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