Poetry About Life: 4 poems reflecting life experiences

If you’re looking for poetry about life, then here are four original poems, written by me, that reflect how I see it all.

Poetry About Life:

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7 Good jokes guaranteed to make you smile

If you’re looking for some good jokes, then look no further, dear reader. I have seven very good jokes for you today.

They all made me laugh out loud, and I’m confident they’ll amuse you too.

So enjoy them all now.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Good jokes:

1. The duck hunter:

Dave was a keen duck hunter, and he’d been looking to buy a new bird dog for quite a while.

Dave’s search ended when he found an amazing dog that could walk on water to retrieve a duck.

Naturally, Dave was pleased with his discovery, but he was sure that his friends wouldn’t believe he’d found a dog that could walk on water.

So he decided to break the news to his friend Paul, a pessimist who was rarely impressed by anything.

Hoping that he might impress Paul, Dave invited him on a hunting trip to experience the dog firsthand.

However, Dave didn’t mention the dog’s special talent, as he wanted Paul to see it himself.

Arriving in the woods, the two men and the dog found a suitable spot by the lake and waited for some ducks to appear. And it wasn’t long before some ducks flew overhead.

Both men fired their shotguns, and a duck fell from the sky and landed on the lake.

The dog responded by walking across the water, without sinking and retrieving the duck. Apart from the soles of its feet, the dog didn’t get wet at all.

This continued throughout the day.

Each time a duck fell, the dog retrieved it by walking across the water without getting wet.

Determined to remain unimpressed, Paul observed everything, but he didn’t say a word.

On the drive home, Dave couldn’t resist it any longer, and he said to Paul, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog, Paul?

Yes, I did,” said Paul. “He can’t swim.”

2. Rookie error:

Jane is driving along Interstate 5 when she accidentally crashes into a guy driving a Porsche.

The guy immediately gets out of his Porsche and starts yelling at Jane and trying to intimidate her.

Are you blind or something?” yells the guy. “Why didn’t you look where you were going?

As luck would have it, Jane has a bottle of Jack Daniels on her rear seat, and she suggests to the guy that he takes a couple of swigs to calm his nerves.

The guy gratefully grabs the whiskey bottle and takes a long swig, pauses momentarily, and then takes another.

Just as he’s starting to calm down, a Highway Patrol officer appears on the scene, while the guy still has the whiskey bottle in his hand.

Right,” says the Highway Patrol officer, “What’s happened here?

Jane smiles demurely at the officer and says, “Officer, there’s been an accident because this guy’s been drinking.”

Moral of the Story: If you think you can intimidate women, you’d be wise to think again.

3. Down on the farm

One day, a farmer was tending his livestock when he noticed one of his cows was completely cross-eyed.

Naturally, being concerned, the farmer called a veterinarian and asked him to come and look at the cow.

The vet arrives at the farm, takes one look at the cow, and then sticks a rubber tube up the cow’s butt.

After a few moments, the vet puts the other end of the tube in his mouth and starts blowing hard.

Within a few seconds of blowing, the cow’s eyes completely straightened out.

The vet then charges the farmer $150 for his service and then leaves the farm to move on to his next appointment.

About a week later, another one of the farmer’s cows appears to be cross-eyed.

Well, the farmer doesn’t want to spend another $150 when he now knows what to do.

So, he finds a rubber tube and then calls his farmhand over to help him.

Together, they proceed to insert the tube into the cow’s butt.

The farmer then puts his lips on the tube and starts to blow. However, not being as young as he once was, the farmer can’t quite blow hard enough, and nothing happens.

So, he asks the farmhand to give it a try.

The farmhand removes the tube, turns it around, and then inserts it back into the cow’s butt. He then starts to blow hard.

What are you doing?” the horrified farmer yells.

The farmhand gives him a puzzled look and then says, “Well, I wasn’t gonna use the side that you put in your mouth.”

4. Logic class:

Bubba and Jim Bob felt they weren’t going anywhere in life, so they decided to go to college to improve their situation.

Neither of them is very bright, so they decide to seek advice from the college principal for guidance on courses for which they’d be best suited.

Bubba goes to see the principal first, and, after a short conversation, the principal suggests he take the Logic course.

What’s Logic?” asks Bubba.

Well, it might be easier if I gave you an example,” says the principal. “Do you own a Weed Eater?

Well, yes, I do,” Bubba responds.

Right,” says the principal. “If you own a Weed Eater, then it would be safe for me to assume you have a yard.”

Wow,” says Bubba, “you’re right.”

If you have a yard,” says the principal, “logic would suggest you also have a house.”

Incredible,” says Bubba, “you’re right again.”

The principal continues, “And since you have a house, logic suggests you have a wife too.”

Yes,” says Bubba, “that’s right, her name’s Daisy.”

If you have a wife,” says the principal, “then you probably have children too.”

I do,” says Bubba, “I have two kids, Willy and Maisy.”

Right,” says the principal. “Then logically, it follows that you’re heterosexual.”

Well, I’ll be,” says Bubba. “you’re right and you worked all that out from Logic. I can’t wait to start the Logic class.”

Bubba walks out of the principal’s office feeling ten feet tall and Jim Bob is there waiting to hear what happened.

So, what class will you take?” asks Jim Bob.

I’m taking the Logic class,” Bubba responds.

What’s Logic?” asks Jim Bob.

Well, it’ll be better if I explain it with an example,” says Bubba.

Go on then,” says Jim Bob

Right,” says Bubba. “Do you own a Weed Eater?

No,” Jim Bob replies.

Then you’re gay,” says Bubba.

5. Tragic loss:

In 1912, a ship sailed from San Diego, heading for the port of Lázaro Cárdenas, Mexico, with a cargo of 20,000 jars of Hellmann’s mayonnaise.

The cargo was intended for the celebrations to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Mexico’s famous victory over the Second French Empire at the Battle of Puebla in 1862.

This would have been the largest shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico, had it not been for the ship sinking in rough seas before it could reach its intended destination.

Such was the popularity of Hellman’s famous condiment in Mexico at the time that the people were devastated, and a National Day of Mourning was declared.

This day continues to be commemorated every year on May 5, the date that the shipment was due to arrive in Lázaro Cárdenas. The event is better known as Sinko de Mayo.

6. Grizzly bears on the Appalachian Trail:

A tourist guide was explaining the dangers of grizzly bears to hikers about to walk the Appalachian Trail from Springer Mountain, Georgia.

The guide warned, “You should realise that most encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet to avoid disturbing wildlife, unexpectedly stumble upon bears.

He had the hikers’ full attention now.

Be aware that surprising a grizzly bear can have disastrous consequences for you,” the guide continued. “To avoid this, we recommend that hikers wear tiny bells on their clothing to provide bears with an early warning of your presence. You should, of course, exercise great caution should you spot the telltale signs of bears in the area, particularly if you see bear droppings.”

“And how do we identify bear droppings from those of other wildlife?” asked one of the hikers.

“Easy,”  explained the guide. “They’re the ones with all the tiny bells in them!”

7. The talking monkey:

Pete was walking past a pet shop when he saw a talking monkey being advertised for sale.

Intrigued, Pete went inside to see if this monkey was all the owners claimed it to be. It was, and Pete was so impressed, particularly with the monkey’s extensive vocabulary and mastery of English, he bought the erudite primate immediately.

Then that very evening, Pete took his new pet to his local bar, and he bet everyone twenty dollars that his monkey could recite the Gettysburg Address.

Ten people immediately accepted the challenge, but, despite much prompting from Pete, the monkey failed to say a word.

Pete was extremely disappointed, but he had no choice but to pay up.

However, when he got home, the monkey was talking freely once again.

So the next evening, Pete decided he would return to the bar and try again.

This time, he bet everyone thirty dollars that his monkey could recite the Gettysburg Address.

Given the experience of the previous evening, most of the patrons in the bar were more than willing to accept Pete’s bet.

Sadly for Pete, his monkey wouldn’t say a word, and once again, it proved to be an expensive evening.

When he got home with the monkey, Pete was annoyed with his pet, and he said, “I’ve had it with you, tomorrow you’re going back to the pet shop and I’m claiming a refund.

Calm down,” the monkey responded. “Just think about the odds; we’ll be able to get into the bar tomorrow evening.

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I hope so. If they did make you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

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Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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5 Really funny jokes I know you’ll just love

If you’re looking for some really funny jokes then I’ve got five good ones today. I’m confident you’ll love them all.

So take a few moments to enjoy them and then please pass them on to your friends.

Really funny jokes:

1. A companion for Adam:

Adam was wandering around the Garden of Eden, feeling very lonely.

So he went to God and said, “Lord, I’m lonely. I’ve got no one to talk to.

God smiled at Adam and said, “I was thinking about giving you a companion called Woman.”

Woman?” Adam responded, quizzically.

Yes”, said God. “She’ll cook for you; clean for you; and wash your clothes. She’ll bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to help care for them. She’ll agree to whatever you say. She’ll never nag you and always admit when she’s wrong. She won’t bear a grudge, and she’ll dress to please you. And of course, she’ll make love to you whenever you want her to.

Wow,”  said Adam. “That sounds fantastic. How much would a woman like that cost me?

An arm and a leg,”  God replied.

Oh!” said Adam. “What can I get for a rib?

2. Following orders:

At Fort Leavenworth, three platoon sergeants are standing together on the parade ground, discussing which one of them has the bravest men.

Sergeant O’Malley calls one of his men over and says, “Climb that flagpole, and when you get to the top, jump off. That’s an order, soldier!

The soldier follows the order and, in jumping off, breaks his leg.

Sergeant O’Malley looks at his colleagues and says, “That’s how tough my men are.”

Not to be outdone, Sergeant Rivera calls over one of his men and says, “Climb onto the roof of the administration block over there, and when you get on the roof, jump off. That’s an order, soldier!

The soldier follows the order and, in jumping off, breaks both legs.

Sergeant Rivera looks at his colleagues and says, “I think that proves my men are tougher.”

Finally, Sergeant Kowalski calls over one of his men and says, “Get in that helicopter over there, and when the pilot gets to 1,000 feet, jump out. That’s an order, soldier!

The soldier looks at him and laughs before replying, “Screw you, sergeant. You can stick your order where the sun don’t shine.

Sergeant Kowalski looks at his colleagues and says, “Gentlemen, I think you’ll agree; that is real bravery!

3. Accidental transposition:

A hiker staggers into a pub in a remote part of County Mayo, Ireland. He’s shaken, his clothes are torn, and he’s full of scratches.

What has happened to you?” the bartender asks, as he pours a large Bushmills for the hiker to help with the shock.

The hiker sips his whiskey and then says, “I was attacked by a leopard!

Really?” says the bartender.

Yes, really! A leopard! In Ireland!” the hiker responds. He takes another sip of whiskey and then says, “Naturally, I tried to run, but you can’t outrun a leopard, can you?

No,”  the bartender responds sympathetically, before saying. “So, what happened then?”

“Well,” says the hiker, it knocked me to the ground; we rolled around a bit, but weirdly enough, it then just gave me a sad look and left.

Ah, you met Father Brennan,” the bartender responds knowingly.

What do you mean?” asks the hiker, confused.

Father Brennan was our parish priest,” says the bartender. “He was a kind-hearted man, totally committed to serving his congregation. One day, a year or so ago, he was out walking, and he found a lamp with a genie. He was granted a wish, and he said that all he wanted was to be a good shepherd to the community.”

Looking slightly puzzled, the hiker said, “I don’t understand; what’s a shepherd got to do with it?

Ah, well, there you have it,” says the bartender, “You have to be careful when you’re prone to spoonerisms.”

4. Going away with the boss:

George called his wife one day from the office and said, “Honey, I’ve been asked to go fishing on a lake up in Wyoming with my boss and a couple of his friends, and we’re leaving tonight. We’ll be away for the rest of the week.

Really?” his wife, Jane, responded.

Look, I know it’s a bit short notice,” George responded, “but this will be a great opportunity for me to schmooze with the boss and press for that promotion I’ve been chasing.

OK, I guess I’ll just have to live with it then,” said Jane.

I’ll need your help, though,” said George. “I need you to pack enough clothes for the rest of the week and set out my rod and tackle box. I’ll stop by and collect them later. Oh, can you pack my new blue silk pyjamas too please?”

Jane thought his last request was a little suspicious, but she did as he asked.

When George returned from his trip, Jane asked him how it had gone.

I’m a bit tired,”  said George, “but otherwise, it was a great trip.”

“Did you catch many fish?” Jane inquired.

“Oh, yes!” George responded. “The fish were biting, and I caught more than anyone else. But, how come you didn’t pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked?”

“I did, honey!” said Jane. “They were in your tackle box.”

5. The monkey and the lion:

It was a warm afternoon in Serengeti National Park.

Two monkeys were sitting high in a tall tree, watching a lion sleep peacefully on the ground far below.

One of the monkeys said to the other, “Hey, I dare you to go down and give that lion a kick in the butt.

The other monkey was always up for a dare, and so he agreed immediately.

Yes, I can do that,”  said the monkey. And with that, he ran down the tree.

Once on the ground, he walked around the lion to check if it was still asleep. Then he went to the rear of the lion and kicked it as hard as he could in the butt.

Woken suddenly, the lion roared, and the monkey started running as fast as he could.

The lion was angry and gave chase immediately.

Needless to say, the lion was fast, and it didn’t take long for it to get within fifty yards of the monkey.

Realizing it needed to act fast if it wasn’t to be eaten, the monkey picked up a newspaper that had been discarded by tourists.

The monkey then sat on a tree stump, hid behind the newspaper, and pretended to read it.

Moments later, the lion arrived and said, “Excuse me, did you see a monkey pass this way?

Do you mean the one that kicked the lion in the butt?” the monkey responded.

Oh, no!” groaned the lion. “It’s not in the papers already, is it?

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I hope so. If they made you smile, please share this post with your friends on social media.

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How to make an impression : Job Interview Tips

As the old saying goes, you only get one chance to make a good first impression.

These days hiring managers are spoilt for choice when interviewing for any job regarded as a decent opportunity. In fact, unless the job is a real stinker, they’ll usually get hundreds of applicants.

True they won’t interview them all but they’ll interview enough for it to be important for you to make a memorable impression on them if you’re to have any chance at all.

Good candidates will know this and make sure they’ve researched job interview tips beforehand.

So dear reader, if you’ve found this page via a search engine, are you looking for some job interview tips?

If you’ve got a job interview anytime soon then naturally you’ll want a few pointers on how to perform to the best of your ability. You’ll not only want to showcase your skills but also leave an impression on the interviewer that lasts long after you’ve left the interview room.

Don’t forget though, the impression you leave can be a good one but it can also be a bad one. And leaving a bad one is the last thing you want to do, assuming you really want the job.

The embedded video offers some useful job interview tips, making its points with irony. The video made me smile and I hope it brightens your day too.

How to make an impression:

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The formula for personal happiness

Personal happiness is a feeling, not a circumstance.

Happiness is more than just fun or pleasure. It’s a more durable sense of well-being.

Our personal happiness depends not on what happens to us but on what happens within us.

It’s the way we choose to think about ourselves and our lives.

Gratitude and people are the most important factors which dictate our personal happiness.

Gratitude is all about being grateful for everything we have.

With people, it’s all about rewarding personal relationships.

Spending quality time with people whose company we enjoy is essential for our personal happiness. Equally avoiding those people who would make our lives difficult will increase our quality of life.

So the formula for personal happiness is actually quite simple.

  • Appreciate what you’ve got;
  • Don’t fret over things you haven’t got;
  • And enjoy the time you spend with your family and friends.

It takes discipline and practice to think positively. However, the ability to maintain a positive mental attitude is essential to our personal happiness.

So go on; start today. Be happy. Life’s far too short for a negative state of mind.

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25 funny witty quotes that will seriously tickle you

I always get the best reaction with blog posts that are full of content to make you smile. And funny witty quotes are particularly popular with readers.

With that in mind, I’ve been trawling my journals looking for funny witty quotes which I’ve noted for posterity, and which I hope you’ll enjoy now, dear reader.

So, here are 25 funny witty quotes that I’m confident will tickle you. Certainly, they tickled me and made me smile.

They’re all by Authors Unknown but they’re razor-sharp and funny nevertheless.

So go on take a few minutes right now to have a laugh and enjoy them all.

Funny witty quotes:

  1. ‘Be yourself is the worst piece of advice you can give to some people.
  2. Some people just need a sympathetic pat on the head, with a hammer.
  3. HIM: How is it your single? HER: Surely you mean you’re?
  4. Arguing with a fool serves only to prove that there are two.
  5. Only dead fish go with the flow.
  6. The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t hold this much personality.
  7. Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you’re drunk.
  8. There are only two rules in life. No 1: Never ever give out all the information.
  9. You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid who acts just like you.
  10. If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.
  11. Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.
  12. I’ve learned so much from my mistakes I’m thinking of making a few more.
  13. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
  14. We mature with damage, not with years.
  15. Life is short. So smile while you still have teeth.
  16. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
  17. Sarcasm is not an attitude. It’s an art.
  18. I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
  19. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
  20. The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Otherwise, watch out.
  21. The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humour.
  22. Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the privilege.
  23. If you don’t like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalk.
  24. If at first, you don’t succeed then skydiving’s not for you.
  25. 129% of people exaggerate.

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11 of the best quotes you will read today

Dear Reader, Are you in need of some inspiration? We all need a little occasionally, don’t we? So here are 11 of the best quotes you’ll read today.

Best quotes you will read today:

  1. Believe you can and you’re halfway there. ~Theodore Roosevelt
  2. Even the greatest was once a beginner. Don’t be afraid to take that first step. ~Author Unknown
  3. It’s your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude. ~Zig Ziglar
  4. We cannot change the cards we’re dealt; just how we play the hand. ~Randy Pausch
  5. You have to have confidence in your ability and then be tough enough to follow through. ~Rosalyn Carter
  6. If you’re doing your best, you won’t have time to worry about failure. ~H. Jackson Brown Jr
  7. The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. ~Theodore Rubin
  8. You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere. ~Lee Iacocca
  9. It is frequently a misfortune to have very brilliant men in charge of affairs. They expect too much of ordinary men. ~Thucydides
  10. Live your life in the creative space and go where others have not yet been; to the fields, the grazing cows have yet to find. ~Alan Alda
  11. What I have learned is that a whole lot of people with degrees don’t know a damn thing and a lot of people with no degrees are brilliant. ~John Henrik Clarke

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Thank you.

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To find a job you’ll love start with these questions

Most people, if they’re lucky enough to have a job, are in jobs for which they have little or no passion.

They just do whatever they have to do to ensure they have a regular income. It’s a living but it’s hardly a life, wouldn’t you agree?

If you’d like to find a job you’ll love doing then start by asking yourself some searching questions like these:-

Questions to ask yourself:

  1. What activity gives you a genuine buzz?
  2. What activity would you regard as more fun than work?
  3. Do you have a genuine talent for some particular activity?
  4. What activity makes your eyes sparkle with enthusiasm?
  5. What would you do as a hobby if you couldn’t make a living at it?
  6. In which activity would you not have to be asked twice to participate?
  7. In what activity would you be so absorbed that you’d completely lose track of time?
  8. For what activity would you willingly rise early, knowing that this was on your day’s agenda? 

Why the answers are important:

The answers to these questions will help you to identify the activity for which you have passion and enthusiasm.

If you can identify a job that consists primarily of activities consistent with the answers to these questions, then the chances are that you’ll have found the job you’ll love to do.

And as the saying goes, find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

Now, getting that job won’t be that easy, of course.

However, knowing what you really want is the first step on the road to success.

If you have a real talent for your work then you’re likely to enjoy what you do. If you enjoy what you do, then you’re likely to do it well. Do it well and people will notice. And once people begin to notice you for the work you do then your career will start going places, potentially to places beyond your wildest dreams.

Finding a job for which you have a passion really can lead you to success.

So go on, start reflecting on these questions and then ask yourself, is what I’m doing now consistent with the answers? A negative conclusion would imply that it’s time to make some changes.

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Thank you.

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40 unbelievable but true facts that might surprise you

unbelievable-but-true-facts

Here are 40 unbelievable but true facts to get you thinking today.

I love weird and wonderful facts, so I hope you find them interesting too, dear reader.

Enjoy them all and feel free to share them all.

Unbelievable but true facts (1-10):

On average, men spend 60 hours a year shaving.

The leading cause of death for children between the ages of 1 and 4 is motor vehicle crashes.

A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it has been decapitated.

The biggest bug in the world is the Goliath Beetle, which can weigh up to 3.5 ounces and be 4.5 inches long.

Leaving the water running while brushing your teeth can waste four gallons of water in a minute.

The record for the longest Monopoly game played in a bathtub is 99 hours.

More pollution is emitted from the average home compared to the average car.

Annually, a thousand people are killed by scorpions in Mexico.

Only 4% of babies are born on their actual due date.

The first toilet stall in a public washroom is the least likely to be used. It is also the cleanest.

Unbelievable but true facts (11-20):

Elvis Presley was a truck driver before he started singing.

The Saguaro Cactus, found in the Southwestern United States, does not grow branches until it is 75 years old.

Former U.S. president Ronald Reagan worked as a lifeguard in his youth at a beach near Dixon, Illinois, and saved 77 lives.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand 7 feet, 2 inches tall.

A Boeing 767 airliner is made of 3,100,000 separate parts.

There are over 2,000,000 millionaires in the United States.

The only member of the band ZZ Top without a beard has the last name Beard.

In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones: Bhutan.

The world’s youngest parents were ages 8 and 9. They lived in China and had their child in 1910.

In the United States in 1998, more fast-food employees were murdered on the job than police officers.

Unbelievable but true facts (21-30):

Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.

In the 16th and 17th centuries, in the country of Turkey, anyone caught drinking coffee was put to death.

In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favourite smell.

The word “testify” is based on the Ancient Roman practice of making men swear on their testicles when making a statement in court.

There is enough fuel in a full jumbo jet tank to drive an average car four times around the world.

“Go,” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

In 1865, the U.S. Secret Service was first established for the specific purpose of combating the counterfeiting of money.

An average of 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

In 1836, Mexican General Santa Anna held an elaborate state funeral for his amputated leg.

The longest distance a deep-water lobster has been recorded to travel is 225 miles.

Unbelievable but true facts (31-40):

On average, 749 pounds of paper products are used by an American individual annually.

A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana

The longest chapter in the Bible is Psalm 119, which is 176 verses.

Japanese research has concluded that moderate drinking can boost IQ levels.

Women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression as men in the UK.

On average, falling asleep while driving results in 550 accidents per day in the United States.

In North America, there are approximately 620 rollercoasters.

Scallops have approximately 100 eyes around the edge of their shell.

The spray WD-40 got its name because there were forty attempts needed before the creation of the “water displacing” substance.

The odds of making two holes-in-one in a round of golf are one in 67 million.

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30 one-line jokes corny enough to make you smile

Here are 30 one-line jokes that are corny enough to make you smile. They’re all full groan but I’m confident you’ll like them. Well, just a little, at least.

Enjoy them all and please feel free to pass them on.

One-line Jokes (1-10):

  1. If an octopus wins the war, does that mean it was well-armed?
  2. If a cow doesn’t produce milk, does that mean it’s an udder failure?
  3. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, does that mean it’s a success?
  4. If you steal a calendar, does that mean you get twelve months?
  5. If a turtle loses its shell, does that mean it’s homeless or just naked?
  6. If a ghost gets lost in the fog, does that mean it’s mist?
  7. If you eat a meal in space, does that mean your food is out of this world?
  8. If a snowman gets angry, does that mean he has a meltdown?
  9. If you eat clownfish, does that mean you find things funnier?
  10. If a mime artist is arrested, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

One-line Jokes (11-20):

  1. If you try to fail and succeed, does that mean you’ve done both or neither?
  2. If a clock is still hungry, does that mean it goes back four seconds?
  3. If a cemetery raises its prices, does that get reflected in the cost of living?
  4. If you’re addicted to brake fluid, does that mean you can stop at any time?
  5. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean the rest follow?
  6. If you buy a bigger bed, do you have more bedroom or less?
  7. If an electric car runs out of power, does that mean it’s exhausted?
  8. If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still listen to his iPhone?
  9. If a psychic knows the future, does that mean they can always pick the winner in the Grand National?
  10. If a cloud has a silver lining, does that mean it pays taxes?

One-line Jokes (21-30):

  1. If a pair of binoculars wins the lottery, do they see double the money?
  2. If a mime artist wins an award, does he get a standing ovation?
  3. If a book about paranoia falls off a shelf, does that mean someone’s watching?
  4. If a conspiracy theorist wins the state lottery, does that prove the government is fixing things?
  5. If a chameleon walks into a bar, does the bartender say, “Hey, I’ve not seen you around!”
  6. If a diary loses a page, does that mean it has a short month?
  7. If a vacuum cleaner sucks at its job, does that mean it gets fired?
  8. If a pair of headphones gets tangled, does it mean they’re in a complicated relationship?
  9. If a cloud is crying, does that mean it will rain cats and dogs?
  10. If a lightbulb gets an idea, does it suddenly shine brighter?

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