5 short jokes that will have you rolling on the floor laughing


1. The Brown Bear:

Two friends, Bill and George were out hiking in the Katmai National Park in Alaska when suddenly they see a brown bear ambling along in their direction.

Bill immediately takes out a pair of running shoes from his backpack and then sits down to replace his heavy hiking books with his Nikes.

George is puzzled by Bill’s actions, so naturally he asks, “Bill why are you putting on your running shoes right now?

George you don’t seriously think I’m going to hang around until we’re spotted by that bear, do you?” Bill responds.

Bill, don’t be ridiculous,” said George “you’ll never outrun a brown bear.

I don’t have to outrun the bear,” Bill responded “I only have to outrun you!

With that Bill disappeared into the distance shouting back as he went, “Good luck with that bear George.

Moral of the Story: When it’s you or the other guy, make sure it’s not you.

2. The Efficiency Expert:

I took my wife to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan called The Lemon Tree.

As the waiter was taking our order I noticed he had a spoon in his shirt pocket. This seemed a little strange but initially I ignored it.

However when the busboy brought our water and utensils, I couldn’t help noticing that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

And then as I gazed around the restaurant I could see that all the staff had spoons in their shirt pockets.

So when the waiter came back to serve the soup naturally I enquired, “Why is every member of staff here carrying a spoon?

Well,” said the waiter, “the restaurant’s owner hired consultants from McKinsey to improve our processes. After several weeks of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. They calculated that there was a drop frequency of approximately three spoons per table per hour.

Are you serious?” I felt compelled to ask.

Yes sir!” said the waiter. “They concluded that if our people are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.

As luck would have it at this point I managed to drop my spoon and he replaced it with the spare from his pocket immediately.

He then explained, “I’ll simply get another spoon when I next go to the kitchen, rather than making a special trip there right now.

Such efficiency was impressive.

I then noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.

Looking around, I could see that all of the other waiters had the same string hanging from their flies too.

Puzzled by this I asked the waiter, “Why do you all have string hanging from the fly in your trousers?

Oh!” he said, lowering his voice, “The McKinsey consultants concluded that this will help us save time when we have to visit the restroom during a shift.

How so?” I enquired.

Well,” he said, “by tying this string to the tip of our ‘you-know-what’, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands. This shortens the time spent in the restroom by 39% they think.

Wow!” I said. “But how do you put it back in your trousers once you’ve finished?

Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.

Short Jokes3. The Counterfeiters:

A couple of small time counterfeiters, Jack and Earl had managed to get hold of a small stock of the actual paper used for printing American currency. This was a genuine stroke of luck and they intended to make the most of it. So they set about printing some twenty dollar bills.

However they’d been drinking heavily beforehand and their attention to the job wasn’t all that it should have been. Nevertheless they printed off their counterfeit currency and then staggered off to bed.

The following morning when they’d sobered up they looked at their previous night’s work and suddenly realized they’d printed $18 dollar bills by mistake.

Oh, no!” said Jack. “We’ve used all the paper, so we can’t print them off again, can we?

No problem,” said Earl. “All we need to do is find some little hick town in the hills somewhere and go into a store and ask some inbred to change them for lower denomination notes.

Do you think that will work?” said Jack.

Sure!” said Earl “And I know just the place.

So Jack and Earl got in their car with all the counterfeit currency and headed for a little hick town in NowheresVille.

Eventually they came to a tiny little town deep in the hills which had just one single store. So they stopped and entered the store.

Jack handed one of the counterfeit $18 bills to the guy behind the counter and politely asked, “Hey buddy, would you mind changing this for some lower denomination notes please? If you could, that would be appreciated.

The clerk looked at the $18 bill, smiled and said, “Sure, no problem. What’s your preference, two nines or three sixes?

4. The Thoughtful Husband:

Sometime after Stephen had died his widow, Alice was finally able to speak about what a wonderful and thoughtful man her late husband had been.

Stephen thought of everything“, she told her friend Mabel. “You know, just before he died, Stephen called me to his bedside and he handed me three envelopes.

Really?” said Mabel. “And what did he say?

He said, Alice I have put my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I’ve instructed. Then I can rest in peace,” Alice responded.

So, what was in the envelopes?” Mabel enquired.

In the first envelope there was $5,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this money to buy a nice casket’. So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such thick padding in the lining that I know Stephen is resting very comfortably.” Alice responded.

Really?” said Mabel.

Yes” said Alice, “And in the second envelope there was $10,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’. I arranged a very dignified funeral for Stephen, attended by all his friends and family.

So what was in the third envelope?” asked Mabel.

The third envelope contained $50,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this to buy a suitable stone so I’m remembered’.” Alice responded.

At this point, she held up her hand to Mabel and pointed to the ten carat diamond ring on her finger.

So Mabel,” said Alice, “do you like the stone?

5. The Hearing Test:

Bill was concerned about his elderly wife’s hearing. So he decided to test it without telling her.

He went to the corner of the room about 15 feet away from her and said, “Honey can you hear me?

There was no response.

So he went about 5 feet away from his wife and again said, “Honey can you hear me?

Still he got no response.

So he leaned over the back of her chair and raised his voice, shouting in her ear, “HONEY CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

His wife put down her newspaper and turned towards him saying, “Bill, I said ‘Yes’ three times already!

Moral of the Story: Don’t assume someone else is the source of a problem. It could be you who’s the problem.

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15 Quotes to inspire you to Think Bigger

Quotes to inspire you to think biggerIf you’re thinking anyway then you might as well think big, or so the saying goes.

Far too many people underestimate their ability; what they can do; and what they can achieve.

If you want to make your mark on this world then you’ll need to think big. You’ll need to make a difference. You’ll need to stand out head and shoulders above the crowd.

That can be a lonely place to be, of course. However the rewards can be extraordinary.

Rewards can be in terms of recognition but they can also be financial too. And let’s not forget that such rewards have the potential to include your place in history.

Does that sound a little too dramatic?

Well other people leave their mark on history, so why not you?

Too many people fear trying in case they fail. However there is no such thing as failure, just opportunities to learn, to hone your skills and then have another go with a better understanding of what will and won’t work.

You must believe in yourself dear reader. Self-belief is an essential ingredient for success. Others don’t need to believe in you but you must feel you have whatever it takes to do it, whatever it is.

You’re as good as anyone and, if you dig deep, you’ve got what it takes.

Here are 15 quotes to inspire you to Think Bigger.

Quotes to inspire you to think biggerQuotes to inspire you to Think Bigger:

  1. Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. ~Albert Einstein
  2. Courage is like a muscle; it’s strengthened by use. ~Ruth Gordon
  3. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. ~Conrad Hilton
  4. That’s precisely the question everyone should be asking, why the hell not? Why not you? Why not now? ~Timothy Ferriss
  5. The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor. ~Vince Lombardi
  6. It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. ~E.E. Cummings
  7. Do not let what you cannot do; interfere with what you can do. ~John Wooden
  8. Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. ~André Gide
  9. No one is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~Henry David Thoreau
  10. Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. ~Author Unknown
  11. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. ~Oscar Levant
  12. Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. ~Benjamin Franklin
  13. Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. ~Ogden Nash
  14. We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. ~George Bernard Shaw
  15. Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo

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Why passion is the key to success

Why passion is the key to successIf success is your aim then received wisdom suggests that you should find your passion. You’ve heard that before dear reader I’m sure. However the phrase is now spoken so often that it’s has become a bit of a cliché, don’t you think?

And of course once something becomes a cliché then it’s hard to take it seriously, would you agree?

Then again, just because something has become a cliché doesn’t in itself mean that it lacks an underlying truth.

From experience I can tell you that if you really want to succeed at anything then whatever it is must matter to you. And I’m not talking about mattering just a little bit. I mean it really, really, really must matter to you. It must be as important to you as the air that you breathe.

You can call it a ‘passion’; you can call it something with which you have ‘a sense of connection’; or you can call it your ‘Why’. Whatever you call it, you’ll only have the determination to see it through as far as it goes if it actually matters to you.

How lucky are those people who find something in life that matters so much that it drives them to make their mark. To be recognised for making a significant contribution to their chosen pursuit.

That pursuit may be painting or writing or playing a musical instrument. It may be computers or fast cars. It may be starting a business and making serious money. Whatever it is, it’s that special something which for those people is not only interesting and absorbing but rewarding too.

It becomes so important to them that it would be their hobby if they couldn’t make a living at it. Because they love it so much, it’s not work at all, for them it’s a pleasure.

It’s something for which they have a sense of enthusiasm or ‘passion’ and instinctively they recognise that it’s what they’re good at. And of course, because they love it, they practise and keep practising. And because they practise they hone their skills and they get even better at it. This creates a virtuous circle.

Constant practise will help you excel and reach the very top of your game.

Sadly for most people, that special something is something they never find.

However, if you’ve yet to find that special something, you must never stop looking. One day you might just stumble upon it and it’s never too late for you to become the person you really could be.

That’s why passion is the key to success.

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The importance of friends to our lives

FriendsFriends are the family you choose. ~Jess C. Scott

Were you a fan of that wonderful American, television sitcom Friends? Wouldn’t it have been great to share their company and all the fun they had in Central Perk?

For me that show highlighted the important role our friends play in our lives.

It is a fact that we don’t get to choose our relatives but the good news is that we do get to choose our friends.

Friends is a relationship of equals.

Friends are the people whose company we enjoy; people with whom we feel a real sense of connection and with whom we share common interests. They are also people we’d be willing to go out of our way to help if we thought they were in trouble.

Family and loyalty go together of course. You can’t really have one without the other. And a relative can be a friend too. As were Ross and Monica in Friends.

However just because you’re related to someone doesn’t mean you’ll like them or that they’ll like you. Being related is no guarantee you’ll enjoy their company.

Friends are different; friends are special.

If you have a small number of really close friends then you’re very lucky indeed.

Appreciate your friends because they’re the people that make life worth living. They’re the people that add a sparkle to a life that could otherwise be quite dull.

Let me know what you think:

Well I’ve given you my opinion but what about yours?

Do you have any experiences of friends, either the people you like to hang out with or the sitcom, that you’d like to share with other readers?

I’d love to hear from you so please leave a comment.

Friends the sitcom:

Friends the sitcom is still available on DVD of course should you want to re-live the memories of this peerless classic. You can check it out on Amazon if you CLICK HERE.

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21 thought-provoking quotes about fake friends

Quotes about fake friendsHow often do you hear people say, “Oh, I have loads of friends?

For a very lucky few that may be true. However mostly it’s not true at all.

Almost always, real friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand with some fingers to spare.

For me a real friend is someone we could phone at 2am if we were in serious trouble and be absolutely confident that they would be straight out to help us in a heartbeat.

Everyone else is just people we know with varying degrees of familiarity.

Yes there will be a wider circle of people with whom we socialise occasionally but most of these people will be quick to distance themselves from us when they think we’re in real trouble.

Such people might be categorized as ‘fair weather friends‘ but some of them will be genuinely fake. There when it suits them but otherwise they care little for us at all.

So we have to learn to differentiate the real from the not so real when it comes to friends.

Here are 21 thought provoking quotes about fake friends to help you with that process.

Quotes about fake friendsQuotes about fake friends:

  1. You don’t lose when you lose fake friends. ~Joan Jett
  2. A fake friend is an enemy in disguise. ~Ellen J. Barrier 
  3. Pay close attention to the people who don’t clap when you win. ~Author Unknown
  4. Better an honest enemy than a false friend. ~German Proverb
  5. Sometimes it’s not the people who change it’s the mask that falls off. ~Author Unknown
  6. Make sure the lions you roll with aren’t snakes in disguise.  ~Genereux Philip
  7. I didn’t lose a friend; I just realized I never had one. ~Author Unknown
  8. Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they’re your friends. People pretend well. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people. So pay attention. ~Author Unknown
  9. A true friend cares about what’s going on in your life. A fake friend will make their problems sound bigger. Be a true friend. ~Author Unknown
  10. You never lose friends. Real ones will always stay, no matter what and the fakes, you don’t need them anyway. ~Drishti Bablani
  11. I’ve got more respect for someone who comes out and says they don’t like me than for the ones who act like they do but talk bad about me when I’m not around. ~Mitchell Perry
  12. An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. ~Buddha
  13. As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have a ton of friends and more important to have real ones. ~Author Unknown
  14. True friends will always find a way to help you. Fake friends will always find an excuse. ~Author Unknown
  15. You don’t lose friends because real friends can never be lost. You lose people masquerading as friends and you’re better for it. ~Mandy Hale
  16. True friends cry when you leave. Fake friends leave when you cry. ~Author Unknown
  17. False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports. ~Richard Burton
  18. The same person that speaks highly of you will be the same person that downs you. Be careful who you call friends. ~Author Unknown
  19. Growing up means realizing a lot of your friends aren’t really your friends. ~Author Unknown
  20. Fake friends: once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you. ~Author Unknown
  21. The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. ~Author Unknown

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How to deal with criticism in the workplace

How to deal with criticism in the workplaceHave you ever had a problem dealing with criticism in the workplace dear reader?

If you have, you’re not alone.

Most of us can be a little sensitive when we’re criticised by other people, particularly in the workplace. That’s natural and I struggle with it just as much as the next person.

However over the years I’ve learned that criticism comes in two types, as follows:-

  1. Constructive criticism; and
  2. Destructive criticism

What’s the difference?

People who offer constructive criticism are genuinely trying to help, even if that isn’t immediately obvious.

However just because they’re trying to help doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right in what they’re saying. I’ll get back to that point shortly.

When you’re being subjected to destructive criticism then someone is just having a go at you.

That may be to bolster their own ego or they may not like you very much and so can’t resist the temptation to belittle you or just generally make you feel uncomfortable.

Remember there are people who get off on other peoples’ discomfort and having a go a people. These are the haters and the trolls. They exist in the workplace, as well as on social media.

How to deal with constructive criticism:

When you’re on the receiving end of criticism, don’t take any of it personally. Remember you’re bigger than that.

Just remain calm; listen to what’s being said; consider the person saying it; and of course the rationale behind their comment.

As you absorb what has been said to you, ask yourself this question “Is this person being constructive or destructive?

If you feel they’re being constructive in offering their comment then the next question to ask yourself is, “Do they have a fair point?

In answering that question you must be really honest with yourself.

Remember it’s a sign of maturity when you can acknowledge your own inexperience and mistakes.

And you can’t learn from your mistakes unless you recognise them first.

So if after careful reflection you feel that they do have a fair point then take it on-board and use it as a learning opportunity.

At this point thank your critic for the feedback and decide how you might use it to improve and be better at what you do.

You might even ask your critic for suggestions if you think they can help you.

Even constructive critics are not always right:

Not every self-appointed critic has a universal monopoly on knowhow and common sense, however well-intentioned they may be. Even so-called experts get stuff wrong occasionally.

So in reflecting on any constructive criticism offered, your judgement might be that they don’t have a fair point. And as long as you’re being really honest with yourself, it’s perfectly reasonable to say, “You know what? I think they’re wrong.

If that’s the case then be polite, thank them for their feedback and agree to disagree if necessary.

Accept that they offered their comment in good faith and their intentions were honourable but just move on, without any sense of feeling hurt just because someone had the temerity to question your approach.

They’re entitled to their opinion but you don’t have to accept it.

How to deal with destructive criticism:

If someone is attempting to be destructive in their criticism then don’t rise to the bait. Just smile politely and move on.

Do not give anyone the satisfaction of a reaction or signs that they’ve got to you. That’s the oxygen on which they feed. It’s the dopamine hit which they crave.

You’re better than that so don’t allow yourself to get drawn into their game. They’re unworthy of a reaction or any of your emotional energy.

And never allow such people to chip away at your self-esteem.

That’s what they’re trying to do, so know that and as you’re smiling just say to yourself, “I’m better than you and your attempt to have a go at me won’t get you anywhere. So stop wasting your time and mine.

Conclusion:

Recognise that criticism has two forms. Either way never take any of it personally, even if you suspect your critic is being personal.

If your critic is being constructive, then be honest with yourself and question whether your critic has a point. If they do have a point then you must learn from it.

If your critic is being destructive then do not give then the satisfaction of a reaction. Just smile and move on.

And if you’re not sure whether they’re being constructive or destructive? Give them the benefit of the doubt, assume they’re being constructive and act accordingly.

Your experiences:

Dear reader, I’m sure you have your own experience of being criticised. It would be surprising if you didn’t.

I’d love to hear how you dealt with it and whether you found it all difficult to deal with.

Please share your experiences with my readers.

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101 of the best Tattoo Quotes you’ll find anywhere

Tattoo QuotesTattoos have become highly fashionable and having quotes inscribed on your ribs, your back or your arms can be a great way to promote your own personal philosophy or simply make a personal statement.

The important thing is to find the right quote for you. So before you ink, think.

Which quote reflects the true you?

Find something original if you can.

Don’t just go for the quote everyone else is using. Be an original not a copy.

So if you need some suggestions then here are 101 tattoo quotes which you might consider. 

101 Tattoo Quotes:

  1. I believe in me.
  2. My life my way.
  3. I can and I will. Watch me.
  4. Think less. Live more.
  5. You’re playing with fire.
  6. Kind words touch hearts.
  7. In my story I’m the hero.
  8. We all need love not judgement.
  9. Life’s short so enjoy the ride.
  10. I’m not a copy, I’m an original.
  11. I may forgive but I don’t forget.
  12. Life is a journey to infinity by bus.
  13. No one owns me. I’m a free spirit.
  14. Smooth seas don’t make skilled sailors.
  15. It’s better to wait long than marry wrong.
  16. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
  17. I’m as good as anyone and better than most.
  18. I’m an emotional being not a thing to be used.
  19. Things end and people change but life goes on.
  20. I am who I am and your approval is not required.
  21. Follow your heart but take your brains with you.
  22. I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.
  23. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Live today.
  24. Are you big enough to take this tiger for a ride?
  25. Love given will be reflected. That goes for crap too.
  26. The choices you make will dictate the life you lead.
  27. I’m stronger than I look and smarter than you think.
  28. I can’t change the past but I can influence the future.
  29. I’m old enough to know better but young enough not to care.
  30. There’s your way and there’s my way but there’s no right way.
  31. You won’t get to second base if you don’t take both feet off first.
  32. I will trust you until you give me reason not to trust you and then I will never trust you again.
  33. Making the right choices today will improve your tomorrow.
  34. Doing better than me doesn’t mean you are better than me.
  35. I wasn’t born just to go to work and pay bills until I die.
  36. I may be a work in progress but I’m getting better every day.
  37. You never really know someone until you say no to them.
  38. It’s pointless arguing with people. They’ll believe what they want to believe.
  39. Givers have to set limits because takers don’t have any.
  40. I am valuable and irreplaceable.
  41. Enjoy today for life is short and one day it will be your last.
  42. Dare to do something that scares you.
  43. Look back only to see how far you’ve come.
  44. Like me, love me. Take me, leave me. Just don’t hurt me or use me.
  45. When trust is broken, sorry means nothing.
  46. Being alone is better than being with a liar or a cheat.
  47. Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes.
  48. If your vibe isn’t positive I don’t need the drama.
  49. You’re never too important to be nice to people.
  50. Tattoo QuotesDon’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.
  51. There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.
  52. You’ll never have today again, so enjoy it.
  53. Nothing will work unless you do.
  54. If you have nothing in life but a good friend, you’re rich.
  55. Loneliness doesn’t come from being alone. It comes from feeling that no one cares.
  56. My past was a series of lessons not a life sentence.
  57. Don’t try to change that which can’t be changed.
  58. Enjoy each moment because life is fleeting.
  59. People will take everything you give and a bit more too but rarely is it truly appreciated.
  60. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget.
  61. Man who chases two rabbits catches neither.
  62. Happiness is enjoying the little things in life.
  63. Maybe I can; maybe I can’t. I won’t know unless I try.
  64. I’m too fabulous to fit in.
  65. I don’t want a perfect life I just want a happy life.
  66. If you respect me and I’ll respect you.
  67. While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is all about.
  68. Attitude is a behaviour we choose for ourselves.
  69. The most precious jewels I’ll ever have around my neck are the arms of my children.
  70. Embrace who your children are and not who you’d like them to be.
  71. The best thing about the worst of times is that you get to see everyone’s true colours.
  72. You never know when it will be the last time, so make every time a good time.
  73. Never allow someone else to hold the key to your happiness.
  74. The quality of your life will depend on the degree to which you can tolerate life outside your comfort zone.
  75. It’s not about being the best. It’s about doing your best.
  76. Every ending is also a beginning. Embrace the next chapter in your story.
  77. Good things may go to those who wait but the best things go to those who hustle.
  78. I succeed or I learn a lesson but either way I win.
  79. Don’t lie to me. It’s not worth it and I don’t deserve it.
  80. A positive mind finds opportunity in everything. A negative mind finds fault in everything.
  81. I need encouragement more than I need critics.
  82. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
  83. Marry the right person and you’ll be happy. Marry the wrong one and you’ll be a philosopher.
  84. There’s no such thing as failure only feedback.
  85. Life may be hard but it’s harder if you’re stupid.
  86. You can’t change people they must change themselves.
  87. One good friend is worth a thousand fake ones.
  88. I can only be myself. Anything else would be a fake.
  89. I am unique just like everyone else.
  90. It doesn’t matter whether you believe I can, as long as I believe I can.
  91. If you can only be one thing, be kind.
  92. Life is what you make it, so make it great.
  93. Real life starts outside your comfort zone.
  94. Know your why and you’ll find a way.
  95. Every day is a new opportunity to start again.
  96. Nothing matters much and few things really matter at all.
  97. If you’re thinking anyway, you might as well think big.
  98. Life is an adventure or it is nothing at all.
  99. You become the people you surround yourself with.
  100. I live life through the windshield not the rear view mirror.
  101. Words have power, use them wisely.

Did you find any of these tattoo quotes useful? Feel free to use them.

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3 funny stories guaranteed to make you laugh

Funny StoriesThe boasting Texan:

Gus was a proud Texan who’d never been outside the United States before. So he decided he’d take a vacation in Canada.

On arriving at Toronto Pearson international airport he took a cab to his downtown hotel.

During the ride into the city they passed Queen’s Park and Gus was a little curious to learn something about the place.

So he said to the cab driver, “Hey buddy, what’s that?

Well”, said the cab driver with a sense of pride, “that park is the site of the Ontario Legislative Building which houses the Legislative Assembly of Ontario. It’s like your State government. Believe it or not, those buildings are over 100 years old and they’re big don’t you think?

Gus was unimpressed. “That’s nothing”, he said. “Back in Texas we have older buildings that are twice as big.

Then they drove passed the skyscraper known as First Canadian Place.

And what’s that?” asked Gus.

Oh, that’s Canada’s tallest skyscraper”, said the cab driver. “Believe it or not that’s 978 feet high and it took four years to build.

Only 978 feet, that’s not very tall,” Gus responded. “Back home we have much taller buildings and they were all built in half the time. In the United States that building wouldn’t even make the list of Top 10 tallest buildings.

Naturally at this point the cab driver was starting to feel a little irritated by Gus’s boasting.

Soon they were driving past the CN Tower.

Gus stared at it momentarily and then asked the cab driver, “And what’s that buddy?

The cab driver looked at the structure and then smiled, “Oh, that’s just a Canadian pepper grinder.

Funny StoriesThe wrong priorities:

Jeff was a very successful, young lawyer who was involved in a terrible car crash on the freeway.

The whole of the driver’s side of Jeff’s Maserati had been ripped clean off, along with his left arm.

He was staggering out of the wreckage when a motorcycle police officer arrived at the scene.

Jeff was clearly in a state of shock, mumbling, “Oh my God! My car! Look at my car!

Seeing how badly Jeff was injured, the police officer said, “Sir, please try to stay calm. We need to be more concerned about your personal injuries, rather than any damage to your car.

Jeff slowly looked down to where his left arm has once been and then suddenly he screamed, “Oh my God! My Rolex has gone! Where’s my Rolex?

Funny StoriesThe Psychiatric Hospital:

Jim and Rita were long-term patients in a psychiatric hospital.

One day they were walking past the hospital’s therapeutic swimming pool when, suddenly, Jim threw himself into the deep end.

Knowing Jim couldn’t swim at all, Rita dived straight in after him and dragged him to the safety of the poolside.

As luck would have it the head psychiatrist saw exactly what happened and recognized just how brave Rita had been in the circumstances.

In recognition of her bravery it was decided that she was ready to be discharged from the hospital, as her actions suggested that she was now mentally sound.

So the head psychiatrist called her into his office to tell Rita about the review panel’s decision.

Rita”, said the head psychiatrist, “I have some good news for you. Unfortunately I also have some bad news for you too.”

What’s the good news?” asked Rita.

Well, in recognition of your bravery in saving the life of another patient”, said the head psychiatrist, “We think you’ve shown you’ve regained a sound mind, so it’s been decided that you’re ready to be discharged.

That’s good”, said Rita. “But what’s the bad news?

Well Jim subsequently hanged himself with the belt of his robe in the washroom. Unfortunately he’s dead”, the head psychiatrist responded.

No, doctor” said Rita, “he didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry.”

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The secret to happiness

Secret to HappinessIf you want to be happy with money, first, be happy without money! ~Author Unknown

When you hear news of someone winning big on a lottery, do you ever think that you’d be so much happier if only you could win big too? You’d be happy, if only you had loads of money?

Certainly having money can make life comfortable. It can allow you to do all sorts of things you couldn’t do otherwise. Live in a nice house; wear the finest clothes; drive a nice car; and travel to exotic places.

However there’s one thing money cannot do and that’s make you happy. It’s a fact, having loads of money by itself will never make you happy.

If you weren’t happy without money, then suddenly gaining a substantial amount money will not change the way you feel. If anything it’s impact on your life will probably make you even less happy.

Happiness is a state of mind. It’s the capacity to appreciate life for what it is and not what you think you’d like it to be. It’s being content with what you have, whatever it is.

Happiness is a positive mental attitude; a willingness to see the good side of every situation, regardless of how bad it might actually be in reality; a determination to enjoy the moment; whilst being comfortable in your own skin.

You can work towards creating your own pot of gold by all means but in doing so never lose sight of what matters most.

A lifetime is short and it all goes by in the blink of an eye. Yesterday has gone and you may never know tomorrow. The here and now is the only certainty you have. This moment is your life, so find a way to enjoy it. Get the most out of it.

Enjoy the simple, inexpensive pleasures like having a laugh or a coffee with a friend. That’s when you’ll be happiest. That’s how memories are made too.

Accept that your life will be full of challenges, which is what makes it all interesting. And recognise that in having to respond to challenges you are growing as a person. So it makes sense to respond to every challenge with enthusiasm because you can only win, ultimately. Either you’ll succeed or you’ll learn a lesson.

And remember this; as your life passes, you won’t remember expensive clothes you bought but you will remember experiences you had with the people who mattered most to you.

Enjoy life for what it is and don’t fret about what it isn’t. The secret to happiness is contentment.

If you can be happy without money then having money is just a bonus.

Now that’s what I think dear reader but do you have any suggestions as to what you believe is the secret of happiness?

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How to ensure you’re a satisfied customer

Pay beforehand was never well served. ~English Proverb

Have you ever been in a situation where someone is trying to sell you something and seemingly they can’t do enough for you? They promise so much and they seem so keen to ensure that you enjoy a ‘great customer experience‘.

Then you buy, part with your money and suddenly everything changes.

They’d love to help you but that wasn’t included in the sale price, despite you having been given the impression that it was.

This is particularly true with a service.

If you have a tradesman or woman doing work for you, for as long as they haven’t been paid, they’ll do just about anything and everything you ask.

Once they’ve been paid, “they’d love to help you but they’re far too busy”.

The moral of the story is that paying for a service before you’ve actually received it is always a mistake.

You won’t be well served if they’ve already got your money, undoubtedly that’s a fact I’m afraid.

So my message to you is clear dear reader. You pay as little as possible upfront and retain as much as possible until the work has been finished to your complete satisfaction.

Do that and you’ll always be sure to get a job well done. Part with your money first and you’ll be a hostage to fortune.

Tell us about your experiences:

Have you had any bad experiences when making a purchase or with tradespeople?

I’d love to hear from you and I’m sure other readers would love to hear from you too.

So please, add a comment and tell us all about it. Your experience can help someone else avoid being ripped off.

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