21 clever one-liners that are sharp and witty

clever-one-linersHere are 21 clever one-liners you’ll just love. They’re all sharp and witty and guaranteed to amuse you. Take a minute to enjoy them all.

Clever one-liners:

  1. I can handle pain until it hurts.
  2. No, I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
  3. I would lose weight but I hate losing.
  4. Life is just a sexually transmitted disease.
  5. I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  6. Creditors have better memories than debtors.
  7. It’s only funny when it’s not happening to you.
  8. Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
  9. How could I miss you when you won’t go away?
  10. It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  11. The light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
  12. A lottery is just a tax on people who don’t understand math.
  13. Life would be so much better if we could mute some people.
  14. When I need an expert’s advice, I stand in front of the mirror.
  15. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. Some only gargle.
  16. If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
  17. Some people lose their tempers just from seeing you keep yours.
  18. I’m not looking for a stable relationship, I’ll settle for a stable internet connection.
  19. Don’t you just hate how spiders sit there on your wall and act like they pay rent?
  20. There is a solution for when your hair starts falling out. Put it in a box.
  21. People always say they don’t believe in ghosts until they hear a strange noise in the middle of the night.

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