Roy Sutton, Author at Roy Sutton

10 powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning

07/11/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

Life if for living and we live it just once. If we put off until someday those items on our bucket list then we’ll never experience them at all because someday never comes. Sadly, that is a fact.

In your old age your memories will not revolve around the size of your house or the model of the car you had. Your memories will be of the people you knew and the experiences you had and how they all made you feel.

Family and friends matter more than material possessions and no experience is worth foregoing for the sake of an extra couple of years in a care home at the end of our lives.

Work hard of course and pursue your dreams too. However don’t trade money and material possessions for a life well-lived. That would be a poor trade and one you’ll regret.

Here are 10 powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning.

Powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning:

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today. ~Dale Carnegie
Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don’t look at it and wish you had painted something different. ~Author Unknown
All meaningful and lasting change starts first in your imagination and then works its way out. Imagination is more important than knowledge. ~Albert Einstein
20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~Mark Twain
At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. ~Barbara Bush
Being vulnerable doesn’t have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives. ~Sara Paddison
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. ~Groucho Marx
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life’s plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~Lady Dorothy Nevill

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Thank you.

10 powerful quotes to inspire the greatness in you

07/10/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

It’s sad that people will often avoid doing something they’d really like to do simply for fear of what they believe other people may think?

People will actually allow the limitations of other peoples’ thinking stop them having a go at something.

Why?

The reason for this is usually because they fear embarrassment if they have a go at something and then fail in some way.

Well, let me tell you, if being a little embarrassed is the worst thing that ever happens to you dear reader then you’ll be very lucky indeed.

What other people think is simply what they think. Who cares? It doesn’t matter.

It certainly doesn’t mean they’re right. It probably just means they’re a little narrow-minded or they can’t quite appreciate how good you’ll feel when you succeed.

Then again, perhaps they just don’t want you succeeding at something they would be unwilling to try.

Well, life’s too short to worry about what others think.

Let them think whatever they like. As long as you feel it’s worth trying then ignore the doubters. Give them something to gossip about.

If you fancy having a go at something then just have a go. It’s your life and you’ll only live it once. Therefore you must make the most of it.

If you have a go, either you’ll succeed or you won’t.

If you succeed you’ll prove the doubters wrong.

If you’re unsuccessful then you’ll learn a valuable lesson and at least you won’t spend your life wondering what might have been.

And why feel embarrassed anyway? At least you had the guts to have a go.

So go on, have a go but not before you’ve read these ten powerful quotes to inspire the greatness in you.

Powerful quotes to inspire greatness:

Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day and you are a success. ~William J.H. Boetcker
The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire. ~Ferdinand Foch
Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Don’t be afraid of failure. If something doesn’t work, use what you’ve learned to try and try again. ~Sir James Dyson
Life is like a grindstone: Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up depends on what you’re made of. ~Author Unknown
Man ought to know that in the theatre of human life, it is only for God and the angels to be spectators. ~Francis Bacon
The single most powerful thing I can be is to be myself. ~Dwayne Johnson
The dreams and passions stored within hearts are powerful keys which can unlock a wealth of potential. ~John C. Maxwell
Make treating yourself a priority and always remember your life is happening now. Don’t put off all your dreams and pleasures to another day. In any balanced personal definition of success there has to be a powerful element of living life in the present. ~Mireille Guiliano
I believe that visualization is one of the most powerful means of achieving personal goals. ~Harvey Mackay

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Thank you.

10 powerful quotes that will really make you think

07/09/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

I’m a huge fan of powerful quotes. I’ll bet you are too dear reader. Am I right?

Personally I love quotes that really make me think.

Also, I like using memorable quotes to get a message across when I’m giving presentations.

So here are 10 powerful quotes which really made me think.

How many of them can you use today? Perhaps not all of them but some will be useful to you I’m sure. I hope so anyway.

Powerful Quotes:

The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling. ~Lucretius
Anybody who thinks money will make you happy hasn’t got money. ~David Geffen
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have. ~Dr Norman Vincent Peale
The price of greatness is responsibility. ~Winston Churchill
To lead people, walk beside them. ~Lao Tsu
Rich people have small TVs and big libraries and poor people have small libraries and big TVs. ~Zig Ziglar
I think that much of the advice given to young men about saving money is wrong. I never saved a cent until I was forty years old. I invested in myself – in study, in mastering my tools, in preparation. Many a man who is putting a few dollars a week into the bank would do much better to put it into himself. ~Henry Ford
If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal. ~Katherine Hepburn
I will tell you how to become rich. Close the doors. Be fearful when others are greedy. Be greedy when others are fearful. ~Warren Buffet
Don’t gain the world and lose your soul. Wisdom is better than silver or gold. ~Bob Marley

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Thank you.

7 inspirational quotes about friends and why they matter

07/08/2019 by Roy Sutton

Why do friends matter?

They matter because people are social animals and we need other people. They might drive us nuts occasionally but we still need them.

A fundamental human need is the need to feel secure. So having other people in our lives gives us a greater sense of security. It means we feel slightly less vulnerable.

Another fundamental need is the need for certainty.

So having the same people in our lives on a regular basis provides us with a greater sense of certainty. In other words, friends and family help in satisfying this need.

And then there’s sharing our lives with people whose company we enjoy.

People who see the world the way we do. People who enjoy the things we enjoy. Those people who appreciate our company more than they might be put off by our many faults and idiosyncrasies.

We don’t always value our friends as we should but having a few really good friends makes life special I think.

If you’re lucky enough to have at least one good friend then make sure you let them know how much they mean to you.

Here are seven inspirational quotes about friends to reinforce why I believe they matter.

Inspirational quotes about friends:

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca
I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it friends make life a lot more fun. ~Charles R. Swindoll
Friendship is not something you learn in school but if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. ~Muhammad Ali
Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick-up the pieces when it’s all over. ~Octavia Butler
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. ~Henri Nouwen
Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend. ~Bill Watterson
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. ~Elbert Hubbard

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Thank you.

15 Quotes by Dalai Lama

07/07/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

The Dalai Lama is a spiritual leader committed to promoting values such as love, patience, humility, tolerance, compassion, contentment, forgiveness and self-discipline.

His most important messages include the importance of happiness and world peace.

Quotes by the Dalai Lama have spread widely and he’s generally a respected thinker around the world.

So if your aim is to live a positive and fulfilled life then you might just be inspired by these 15 quotes by Dalai Lama.

Quotes by Dalai Lama:

Choose to be optimistic, it feels better. ~Dalai Lama
Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality. ~Dalai Lama
Instead of wondering WHY this is happening to you, consider why this is happening to YOU. ~Dalai Lama
Let us try to recognize the precious nature of each day. ~Dalai Lama
Neither a space station nor an enlightened mind can be realized in a day. ~Dalai Lama
Judge your success by what you had to give up to get it. ~Dalai Lama
A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering. ~Dalai Lama
Through violence, you may ‘solve’ one problem, but you sow the seeds for another. ~Dalai Lama
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ~Dalai Lama
It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. ~Dalai Lama
The whole purpose of religion is to facilitate love and compassion, patience, tolerance, humility, and forgiveness. ~Dalai Lama
If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever. ~Dalai Lama
The purpose of all the major religious traditions is not to construct big temples on the outside, but to create temples of goodness and compassion inside, in our hearts. ~Dalai Lama
I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable to you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is of no use, then you can discard it. ~Dalai Lama
Whether one is rich or poor, educated or illiterate, religious or non-believing, man or woman, black, white, or brown, we are all the same. Physically, emotionally, and mentally, we are all equal. We all share basic needs for food, shelter, safety, and love. We all aspire to happiness and we all shun suffering. Each of us has hopes, worries, fears, and dreams. Each of us wants the best for our family and loved ones. We all experience pain when we suffer loss and joy when we achieve what we seek. On this fundamental level, religion, ethnicity, culture, and language make no difference. ~Dalai Lama

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15 Really Bad Jokes: So Bad They’re Funny

07/06/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

Here are 15 really bad jokes that will make you cringe and make you smile simultaneously.

They really are so bad they’re funny. Certainly they made me smile.

Cashier in store: “Would you like the milk in a bag”?
Man: “No, just leave it in the carton”.

Man in bookstore: Where is the Self Help section please?
Saleswoman: If I told that sir it would defeat the purpose.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!

How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

Who’s the king of the classroom?
The Ruler!

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?
Feyoncé!

Why can’t zoo animals take tests?
There are too many cheetahs!

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth?
Someday my prints will come.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food but no atmosphere!

How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!

How do think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg!

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds!

Polite request:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these really bad jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face now and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post right away.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then please just click on the links below.

5 rib-ticklingly funny short story jokes to make you laugh

07/05/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

1. The funeral cortège:

Bill was walking along Main Street when he saw a funeral cortège, so he stopped for a moment as a mark of respect.

He noticed that there were two hearses with coffins in the cortège and the procession was being followed by a man walking solemnly with a pitbull terrier on a leash.

And behind him there was a long line of about 100 men walking quietly in single file.

Curious Bill spoke to the man with the dog and asked, “Excuse me sir, I don’t want to intrude on this sad occasion but you’re situation seems a little unusual. Whose funeral is this?”

“Well”, the man replied, “The first hearse is for my late wife. She died after this dog attacked her.”

“And the second hearse?” said Bill.

“The second hearse is for my late mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife during the attack and the dog savaged her to death too”, the man responded.

Bill thought momentarily about the challenges in his own life and then he said to the man, “Is there any chance I could borrow your dog after the funeral?”

The man smiled and pointed to the line of men behind him and said, “You’ll have to join the queue buddy.”

2. The power of prayer:

Jackie was invited to give a talk at her local women’s group about the power of prayer.

With her husband Mike in the audience, she recalled how a few short months ago she’d turned to God when poor Mike had suffered an unfortunate accident.

“Six months ago”, Jackie began, “my husband Mike was knocked off his motorcycle and his scrotum was smashed.”

Jackie explained that for Mike the pain had been unbearable and his doctors weren’t sure they’d be able to help him.

“The doctors warned us that our lives might never be the same again”, said Jackie. “I can tell you I was scared. Mike was unable to get close to me or the children because every move caused him such extreme discomfort. And that meant we could no longer touch him around the scrotum.”

Jackie paused momentarily to allow the audience to absorb her words.

Then she said, “I’m not ashamed to say I turned to God for help and I prayed that the doctors would be able to repair Mike.”

Again she paused and then said, “Fortunately our prayers were answered and the doctors were able to piece together the remnants of Mike’s scrotum with wire holding everything in place. His medical team tell me that he will make a full recovery and regain the full use of his scrotum.”

As the audience burst into applause, a lone man walked slowly up to the stage and said, “Hello I’m Mike, Jackie’s husband and I just wanted to remind my wife once again that the word is ‘sternum’.”

3. Discovering facts:

As part of her rehabilitation, a patient in a mental hospital was told by her psychiatrist to go out into the nearby town and discover one new fact.

Off she went and then a few hours later the patient returned to the hospital to tell the psychiatrist all about what she had learned.

So said her psychiatrist, “Were you able to find out something you didn’t know before?”

“Yes”, said the patient, “I discovered that spiders have ears on their legs.”

“Ears on their legs?” said the psychiatrist. “How did you work that out?”

The patient produced a matchbox and when opened a large spider crawled out on to the psychiatrist’s desk.

The patient then said “Boo!”

The spider scurried quickly across the desktop.

The patient then grabbed the spider and proceeded to pull off all its legs.

She then put it back on the desk and once again said, “Boo!”

Naturally the spider was motionless.

The patient looked at the psychiatrist, smiled and then said, “Do you see? Without its legs it can’t hear me.”

4. The admiral and the general:

A Navy admiral and an Army general were fishing together on a lake one day when a storm blew up and their boat capsized.

Not being quite as fit as they once were, both men were floundering helplessly in the water.

However eventually the general managed to right the boat and clamber back on board.

He then rescued the admiral from drowning by reaching out to him with one of the oars and then hauling him back in.

As the admiral was dragged into the boat he struggled for a few seconds to regain his composure.

Then he said, “Please don’t say a word to anyone about this. If anyone in the Navy knew I couldn’t swim, I’d be disgraced.”

The general smiled and said, “Don’t worry buddy your secret’s safe with me. I’d hate for my troops to find out that I couldn’t walk on water.”

5. The origin of the species:

As she was getting ready for school one morning Grace asked her mother, “How did the human race appear mom?”

“Well”, said her mother, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and that’s how we all began dear.”

Two days later Grace asked her father the same question.

“Well”, said her father, “first there were apes and from them the human race has evolved.”

Naturally these responses left Grace a little confused.

So once again she spoke with her mother and said, “Mom I don’t understand. You said that we were created by God but dad says we evolved from apes. How can that be?”

Her mother smiled and said, “Well darling it’s all very simple really. I was telling you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

Polite request:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did any of these funny short story jokes really make you laugh? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

5 funny short story jokes you’ll just have to share with others

07/04/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

1. Billy wants to get married:

Young Billy returned home one evening for dinner, after spending the afternoon playing with his little friend Mary who lived next door.

Naturally his parents asked him what he’d been doing all afternoon.

“We played soccer for a while and then I proposed to Mary,” he said.

Not wishing to belittle him, his mum and dad went along with the idea but his dad thought a little fatherly advice might be appropriate at this point.

“Billy you do know that being married is an expensive business, don’t you?” said his dad, “How will you both manage?”

“Well” said Billy, “with the $5 I get from you for pocket money each week and the $5 she gets from her folks, I think we’ll manage. And I can always take on a paper route to earn extra cash.”

Suppressing a strong desire to burst out laughing, his mother said, “That’s all very well Billy but how will you and Mary manage if you were to have a baby?”

“Well”, said Billy, “we’ve been lucky to avoid that so far.”

2. Ben goes to the pool:

Young Ben and his friends went to the local swimming pool for the afternoon.

They were playing around as kids do when the lifeguard shouted at Ben, “Hey kid, you’re not allowed to pee in the pool!”

“But everyone pees in the pool”, Ben responded.

“Maybe so kid”, said the lifeguard, “but not from the high diving board.”

3. Knock, Knock:

An elderly man was walking down the street one day when he observed a small boy struggling to reach the doorbell at one of the houses.

The kindly old man said to the boy, “Can I help you with that sonny?”

At which point he smiled, placed a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder whilst pressing the doorbell firmly with his other hand.

“There”, said the old man, as he stepped back from the door. “Now what do we do young man?”

“We run like hell mister”, the boy replied.

4. Washing the dog:

Little Johnny went into the store and after some searching around he picked out a large box of laundry detergent.

Having been observing Johnny for a few minutes, the store assistant asked him whether he had a lot of laundry to do.

“No”, said Johnny, “I’m not doing any laundry. I’m going to wash my little dog.”

The store assistant frowned at him and said, “Listen sonny, that’s a powerful detergent and far too strong for washing a small dog. It could make him ill or perhaps even kill him if you’re not careful.”

Undeterred Little Johnny said he’d take the detergent anyway, then he paid the man and left the store.

A week later Little Johnny was back in the store to buy a Hershey bar. The store assistant saw him and said, “Hey Johnny how’s your little dog?”

“Oh, he died,” said Little Johnny.

“I’m sorry to hear that son but I did warn you about that detergent,” the store assistant replied.

“I don’t think it was the detergent,” said Little Johnny.

“Really?” said the store assistant, “So what was it then?”

“He looked like he was coping very well until the washing machine went into the spin cycle,” Little Johnny replied.

5. The Budgie:

Geoffrey sees a budgie in the window of a pet store and feeling a little sorry for the bird he decides he’ll buy it.

However he’s quickly disappointed when, despite his best efforts, he can’t get the budgie to talk.

So he decides to go back to the pet store to complain.

“I purchased this budgie a month ago now but I can’t get him to utter a single word”, said Geoffrey to the store assistant.

“Try him with a mirror”, the store assistant suggested. “Budgies love to look at their own reflection and you’ll soon have him saying, who’s a pretty boy.”

So Geoffrey purchased a mirror from the store assistant and returned home with his budgie.

Once again he was disappointed, as the budgie still wouldn’t talk.

So once again Geoffrey went to the pet store to complain.

“Try him with a ladder”, said the store assistant. “Budgies love climbing and I’m sure he won’t stop talking once he’s got a ladder.”

So Geoffrey purchased a little ladder from the store assistant and returned home with his budgie.

Yet again not a word was spoken by the budgie, so a week later Geoffrey was back in the pet store again with the budgie.

“Try getting him a bell”, said the store assistant. “The sound of a bell will encourage him to talk I’m sure. At the very least he’ll try to imitate the bell’s sound.”

So Geoffrey bought the bell and returned home only to be disappointed yet again.

Two weeks later Geoffrey’s back in the pet store.

“How’s your budgie?” asked the store assistant. “Have you got it talking yet?”

“Finally he did say something”, said Geoffrey. “He looked in the mirror, climbed the ladder, rang his bell, uttered a few words and then dropped off his perch and died.”

“Oh dear!” said the store assistant. “What did he say?”

“He said, doesn’t that damn pet store sell bird seed?” Geoffrey responded.

Polite request:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did these funny short story jokes really make you laugh? Did they really make smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

15 funny quotes about life and they’ll definitely make you smile

07/03/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

Life doesn’t come with a guarantee.

It is what it is and we get out of it about as much as we are prepared to put in.

Some people are lucky and others less so. And we can’t be certain of anything, other than death and taxes.

It’s a funny old world when you think about it and the experience of human existence can be a little bizarre at times too.

So today I offer you 15 funny quotes about life to emphasize the point and hopefully make you smile too.

Yes life’s hard and for many people it’s extremely tough.

Life can be cruel for many people but for the lucky ones it can be a joy. So if you’re one of the lucky ones then embrace life and all the challenges it puts in your path. Through those challenges you will grow.

However don’t take yourself too seriously because no one else does.

Just learn to smile and appreciate whatever is good in your life.

Chase success by all means but don’t expect any certainties. Just enjoy whatever comes your way.

Finally remember this; you will make mistakes. So what? Everyone else does too.

Just learn from any mistakes you make and move on.

Nothing matters much when you think about it.

However laughing at yourself and life is probably the most important coping tool you’ll have at your disposal. So start by laughing at these funny quotes about life.

Sadly I cannot be sure of their origins, so for the moment anyway they are by Authors Unknown.

However if you can enlighten me as to their origins then please do. I am very keen to acknowledge the work of others whenever possible.

Funny quotes about life:

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
If only common sense were more common.
I really should do something with my life; maybe tomorrow.
I didn’t fall; I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.
Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
I’m old enough to know better but young enough to do it anyway.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.
We all have baggage; find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
Taking a shower is awesome; it makes you feel nice and clean; makes you sound like a great singer; and it helps you make all of life’s decisions.
The alphabet begins with ABC; numbers begin with 123; music begins with do-re-mi; and friendship begins with you and me.
Sorry I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.
I love everyone! I love to be around some people; I love to stay away from others; and some I’d just love to punch right in the face!
If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life vest …… I would miss you so much.
Life doesn’t have any hands but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

Polite request:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did these funny quotes really make you laugh? Did they really make smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

17 cheesy jokes guaranteed to raise a smile

07/02/2019 by Roy Sutton Leave a Comment

Once again I’ve been surfing the Internet looking for humor and smiles.

On this occasion I was looking for cheesy jokes.

So here are 17 cheesy jokes I found that should make you smile today I hope.

Unfortunately I couldn’t identify the authors but should you be one of them please let me know and I will add a suitable credit and link to your work.

Cheesy jokes:

What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
UCLA

Which US State has the smallest soft drinks?
Mini-soda

Where do pencils go for vacation?
Pencil-vania

What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?
A loose Canon

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A Bagel

Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll

Why did the poor man sell yeast?
To raise some dough

How do snails fight?
They slug it out

Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!

What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
I just love baskin’ robins

What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.

How does NASA organize a party?
They planet

What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
Quattro Sinko

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