Wit & Wisdom: 40 Amusing Quotes by Famous People

AMUSING QUOTES BY FAMOUS PEOPLEIf you’re seeking amusing quotes by famous people then look at this collection of wit and wisdom that I’ve curated for you today, dear reader.

Whether it’s a hearty chuckle you seek or a spark of genius, I’ve got you covered.

This handpicked treasure trove of quotes from some of history’s most brilliant minds is just for you.

So, illuminate your day, impress your friends, and enjoy these timeless gems.

If it’s amusement you’re after, read on.

Amusing quotes by famous people (1-10):

  1. The road to hell is paved with adverbs. ~Stephen King
  1. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ~W.C. Fields
  1. You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. ~Jack London
  1. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. ~Mark Twain
  1. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. ~Oscar Wilde
  1. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Stephen Wright
  1. Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead. ~Charles Bukowski
  1. Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. ~Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler)
  1. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. ~Groucho Marx
  1. I have nothing to declare except my genius. ~Oscar Wilde (upon arriving at U.S. customs)

Amusing quotes by famous people (11-20):

  1. If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you. ~Billy Wilder
  1. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. ~Bob Hope
  1. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours. ~Yogi Berra
  1. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~Oscar Wilde
  1. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils. ~Louis Hector Berlioz
  1. There is no surer way to misread any document than to read it literally. ~G.K. Chesterton
  1. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. ~Benjamin Franklin
  1. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer. ~Douglas Adams
  1. To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. ~Oscar Wilde
  1. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. ~Woody Allen

Amusing quotes by famous people (21-30):

  1. I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. ~Steven Wright
  1. Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes. ~Jim Carrey
  1. If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? ~Robin Williams
  1. I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical. ~Arthur C. Clarke
  1. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. ~Tom Clancy
  1. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ~Douglas Adams
  1. Never put off until tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well. ~Mark Twain
  1. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. ~Sir Winston Churchill
  1. When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’. ~John D. MacDonald
  1. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains. ~Seth Grahame-Smith, “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” (parodying Jane Austen)

Amusing quotes by famous people (31-40):

  1. I’m too drunk to taste this chicken. ~Colonel Sanders
  1. I can resist everything except temptation. ~Oscar Wilde
  1. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? ~Robin Williams
  1. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. ~Mae West 
  1. I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. ~David Lee Roth
  1. I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. ~Groucho Marx
  1. Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. ~Christopher Marlowe
  1. I’d rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort. ~Jean Paul Getty
  1. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. ~Dorothy Parker
  1. I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job. ~Samuel Goldwyn

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