33 irony and sarcasm quotes subtly conveying contempt

Irony and SarcasmPeople! When they get too much, there are times when we all need to use a little irony and sarcasm for subtly conveying contempt.

We can’t live without people of course but they do drive us all nuts at times too, or is that just me?

Actually I love people. Well, most of the time anyway.

However, I also like to have my little stock of sarcastic remarks, retorts and put-downs ready to use when I need them. And occasionally we all need them, don’t we?

So today I thought I’d share with you 33 irony and sarcasm quotes which subtly convey contempt.

Read them. Enjoy them. I hope some of them make you smile.

And if you’re ever in a situation that warrants a biting comeback then you’ll be well-prepared. I hope so anyway.

Irony and sarcasm for subtly conveying contempt:

  1. You go, girl! And please don’t come back.
  2. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  3. Those who laugh last think slowest.
  4. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than your absence.
  5. It’s obvious that in your profession being stupid is not a handicap.
  6. Look I’m really busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  7. Is being stupid your profession or are you simply gifted that way?
  8. If you’re ever given the keys to the City then the City will need to change the locks.
  9. How is it that when you see light at the end of the tunnel you always manage to extend the tunnel?
  10. If ignorance is bliss then you should be the happiest guy on the planet.
  11. To err is human but to blame it on others now that’s the art of politics.
  12. I’d say something polite but that might encourage you to hang around and that would be more than I could bear.
  13. They said this was a job anyone could do and now I’ve met you I know that to be true.
  14. You’re living proof that inability is not necessarily a liability in the job market.
  15. Irony and SarcasmI didn’t vote for you, I voted to stop your opponent gaining power.
  16. Sorry for the pause but I was trying to imagine you with a personality.
  17. When you say something worth hearing I’ll listen but I doubt that’ll happen any time soon.
  18. Look I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you. You’ve got to do some of the heavy lifting yourself.
  19. My opinion offended you? You should hear the opinions I keep to myself.
  20. I do try to see things from your point of view but your point of view is so stupid.
  21. If what I said is a problem for you then perhaps you could write it down on a piece of paper and then shove that piece of paper up your ass.
  22. You’re reading that book to look good, surely? Certainly, as far as I can tell, you lack the brains to understand it.
  23. You’re one of those people who manage to spread a little misery wherever you go.
  24. I’d enlighten you if I could but I’m not a magician.
  25. You’re living proof that light travels faster than sound. You appeared quite bright until I heard what you said.
  26. It wasn’t my intention to offend you when I called you stupid. I just assumed you knew that already.
  27. Are you really that stingy or do you just have extremely short arms and very deep pockets?
  28. If laughter is the best medicine then your face is the cure for every illness known to man.
  29. I’m not listening but please keep talking. Why wouldn’t I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed?
  30. Not all girls are made from sugar and spice and everything nice. Some are made from sarcasm and wine and everything fine.
  31. You may lack the power of conversation but unfortunately, you don’t lack the power of speech.
  32. If it looked like I give a damn then allow me to apologize for giving you the wrong impression.
  33. I’m not sarcastic by nature; I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

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