Funny Jokes

3 hilariously funny story jokes to make you laugh

Hilariously Funny Story JokesToday I offer you 3 hilariously funny story jokes that I’m confident will make you smile. So here we go.

1. Immaculate conception:

Jenny Smith accompanies her 15-year-old daughter Caitlyn to the doctor.

Good evening Mrs Smith”, says the doctor, “how can I be of help today?

Well Doctor Morgan, it’s my daughter Caitlyn”, says Mrs Smith, “she’s putting on weight, she’s being sick in the mornings and she keeps getting these cravings.”

The kindly doctor smiles and then says, “Right then let me take a look at her.”

He then examines Caitlyn thoroughly before turning to her mother and saying, “Well, I’m not quite sure how to break this news to you Mrs Smith but your daughter is pregnant. Probably about three months gone, I would estimate.

Jenny Smith is shocked. “Pregnant?” she says to the doctor.

Yes mam”, the doctor responds.

But how can that be?” says Mrs Smith. “She doesn’t even have a boyfriend. Do you Caitlyn?

No mom, I don’t” Caitlyn responds nervously. “I’ve never even kissed a boy and I’m still a virgin.

Doctor Morgan walks across to the window in his surgery and starts gazing out into the evening sky.

A few minutes pass before Mrs Smith feels compelled to say, “What’s the problem doctor is something wrong out there?

No, not really”, Doctor Morgan replies, “but the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men arrived on camels to witness the event. That’s definitely a spectacle I didn’t want to miss.

Hilariously funny story jokes2. If a job matters, don’t leave it to a man:

Gloria is getting increasingly concerned that her 3-year-old son Billy looks completely different to both her and her husband Jeff.

So she decides to take Billy for a DNA test.

The results from the DNA test reveal that Billy is actually from completely different parents.

So when Jeff arrives home from work, Gloria says, “Honey, I’ve got something really serious to tell you.

Why? What’s wrong?” Jeff responds.

Well”, says Gloria, “according to DNA test results, Billy is not our child.

To which Jeff responds, “Well don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet diaper and you said, ‘Honey, go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here’.”

Hilariously funny story jokes3. You can’t outsmart an old dog:

An old dog strays into a jungle and gets himself completely lost.

A hungry lion basking in the sunspots the old dog from a distance and thinks to himself “I’ve not seen this type of animal before but he sure looks edible.”

The lion then gets up and starts moving slowly towards the old dog, gradually picking up the pace before he then sprints towards the dog with real menace in his eyes.

The old dog sees the charging lion and naturally, he starts to panic. Who wouldn’t panic in these circumstances?

However the old dog is also very smart and he realises he cannot outrun the lion. So having noticed some bones next to him on the ground he picks one up and starts chewing at it.

As the lion gets close, he then says loudly, “Hmmm, now that was some excellent lion meat!

Hearing this comment stops the lion in his tracks.

The lion stares at the old dog thinking, “This old fella must be a lot tougher than he looks. It’s might be a good idea to leave him alone.

A monkey in a nearby tree sees what’s happened and recognises that the old dog has managed to fool the lion.

Naturally the monkey thinks that this is a situation he might be able to exploit to his advantage.

So he goes over to the lion and tells him exactly what happened, in the hope that he might just get something in return.

The lion is angry that he’s fallen for the old dog’s deception, so he says to the monkey, “Get on my back now and we’ll get him together. We’ll teach him a lesson he won’t forget“.

So with the monkey on his back, the lion once again start rushing in the old dog’s direction.

Despite his advancing years, the old dog is quick to spot them and realizes what’s happened. He starts to panic again before he quickly gets another idea.

He then starts to act like he’s searching for something until they get close and then to ensure they hear him he shouts loudly, “Where’s that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago.

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So dear reader, did these hilariously funny story jokes make you laugh? I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

3 funny joke stories you could tell your friends at a party

Funny Joke StoriesDo you enjoy funny joke stories, dear reader? Those little stories you can embellish, as you tell them, and which always have a funny punch line. Well, I love them and here are three that were new to me and which I thought you might enjoy.

Funny joke stories:

1. Shock for the preacher’s wife:

Jeff and Emma both had demanding jobs, working on Wall Street, and they’d decided it was time for them to take a break, catch a little sunshine and relax down in Acapulco for a week.

As luck would have it, on the day they were due to depart Emma had to deal with an emergency at the investment bank in which she worked.

So they agreed that Jeff would go as planned, and Emma would take a later flight and meet him the following day, at the hotel.

When Jeff arrived at the hotel, having checked in, he decided that it would a good idea to email Emma and let her know he’d arrived safely.

Now Jeff and Emma were active members of the congregation at a Lutheran Church in Manhattan and the wife of the preacher from the church was Emma Davis, which coincidently was exactly the same name as Jeff’s wife, Emma.

In his haste to type out his message, Jeff managed to select the wrong Emma Davis from his contact list, and his message went to the preacher’s wife by mistake.

To compound the problem, it just so happened that the elderly preacher had died suddenly, on the day that Jeff had departed for Acapulco.

So, when the grieving widow checked her emails, she saw she had a message from a parishioner and naturally she opened it and began reading.

Immediately she let out a loud, piercing scream and then she fainted, collapsing to the floor.

At the sound of her falling, her daughter rushed into the room. Her daughter looked at her mother and then glanced at the message her mother had been reading on her iPad.

The email message read:

Dearest Emma,

I’ve just arrived. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. It sure is hot down here.

2. Old age problem:

Jack was on his lunch break and he decided that he’d sit in the sunshine in Central Park to eat his lunch.

As he walked into the park, he noticed an elderly man sitting on a bench near the gate, sobbing uncontrollably.

Naturally, Jack stopped and asked the old man what was wrong.

I have a beautiful, 39-year-old wife at home,” said the old man. “She’s loving, kind and every morning she gets up and makes me pancakes for breakfast, with Maple syrup, blueberries and freshly ground coffee.

Wow!” said Jack. “She sounds wonderful. So, why are you crying?

The old man continued to sob. “She cleans my house and keeps it spotless and tidy. Then she makes me delicious clam chowder and crackers for lunch. And in the afternoon she sits with me and we watch the sports channel for the rest of the afternoon.

Gee!” Jack responded. “Women like that are hard to find. So, why are you crying?

With a tear in his eye, the old man said, “For dinner she always cooks a delicious, gourmet meal with French wine and a fabulous dessert. And after dinner we cuddle on the sofa watching television until bedtime.”

You’re a lucky man”, said Jack, “and I really don’t understand why in the world you would be crying?

The old man looked up and sighed, “I can’t remember where I live.”

Funny Joke Stories3. An expression of love:

Jane was a born romantic at heart and she liked nothing better than to send her husband, Jim, a loving text message whenever he was away on business.

One morning, when Jim was away, she decided to send him a text message when she knew he was likely to be in his hotel room getting ready for the business day ahead.

Her message read, “If you’re still sleeping, send me your dreams. If you’re laughing, send me your smile. Perhaps you’re still eating, in which case send me a bite. And if you’re drinking your morning coffee, then send me a sip. I love you!”

Unfortunately for Jane, Jim was your typically blunt, unromantic kind of guy. He responded, “I’m on the toilet, taking a dump. Please advise.

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So for you dear reader, did these funny joke stories make you laugh?

I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

Here is some funny political satire with laughter guaranteed

Funny political satire In the times in which we now live, it seems that intelligent political debate is something from a bygone age.

Perhaps it never really existed at all.

However, the politically correct modern media has created a debate so lacking in intelligent and informed analysis that it has become completely pointless I think.

If you live in the United Kingdom dear reader, then an excellent example for me is the BBC’s Question Time. It may have a new host in Fiona Bruce but it’s still just a lot of hot air I think.

Essentially it’s just a carefully selected bunch of people with rigid views coupled with an inability to understand why others may think the way they do. And an unwillingness even to try.

I suppose that’s just the way it is nowadays.

Nevertheless, it’s not a complete loss to us all because it does offer fertile ground for comedy and funny political satire.

So if like me you think that the BBC’s Question Time has become a mess of evidence-free assertions, class warfare, soundbites and smugness then you might just enjoy this comedy sketch from Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse.

It’s very funny and for me they have truly nailed the nature of what passes for modern political debate.

It made me laugh and I hope it makes you smile too.

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3 short story funny jokes guaranteed to brighten your day

Short Story Funny JokesToday’s short story funny jokes

1. Surprise Party:

Jane had a craving for Heinz beans and unwisely consumed three plates of beans during lunch-break at work one day.

Now, on the day in question, it happened to be Jane’s birthday and when she got home from work her husband Jim, met her excitedly at the door.

Darling, I’ve got a surprise for dinner tonight,” said Jim.

And with that, he blindfolded Jane and led her by the hand, through the house, into the dining room and sat her down at the table.

As Jane sat down, and just as Jim was about to remove her blindfold, she heard the telephone ring in the hall.

Darling,” said Jim, “bear with me for a second whilst I answer the telephone but please, please don’t remove your blindfold until I get back. I want to video your reaction for posting on Facebook. No peeking!

Well, Jane was actually quite grateful for this fortunate interruption because those beans had started to percolate, generating intestinal gases within her that were building up a pressure of such magnitude that she felt like she was about to explode.

She reasoned that Jim would be gone for a few minutes, so she thought it would be safe to seize the opportunity to release this flatulence.

Release it she did and it was not only loud but it smelled like a surfeit of skunks in a garbage dump. It was a truly awful smell.

However, the relief for Jane was instant, and she quickly used her napkin to fan the air vigorously in the hope that the gas would be dispersed by the time Jim returned.

Well, unfortunately, her gas problem didn’t end there and Jane was forced to release several more minor, intestinal explosions, the smell of which was just unimaginably bad.

However, for Jane, the pleasure of releasing all this gas pressure was indescribable. It was just such a relief, so she wafted her napkin as quickly as possible in a desperate attempt to improve the air quality in the dining room before Jim returned.

Within a few minutes Jim did return, apologising profusely for his absence.

I hope you’ve not been peeking, whilst I’ve been away,” Jim said playfully.

Jane was quick to confirm she hadn’t.

At this point, Jim removed her blindfold, only to reveal that they were accompanied by 12 dinner guests all seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, as they shouted, “Happy Birthday, Jane!

2. Strange Bar:

Jake walked into a Manhattan bar and he sits down at the counter.

He then says to the bartender, “Hey buddy, where can I get some cigarettes?

There’s a cigarette machine over there in the corner by the john,” the bartender replies.

So Jake walks over to the machine and just as he’s about to select his preferred brand of cigarettes, the machine says, “Hey, you’re a freakin’ idiot!

Jake is stunned momentarily. Then he thinks, “That’s really not very nice!” So he returns to the counter without any cigarettes.

As he sits on his stool again, he asks the bartender for some peanuts in an attempt to distract himself from his craving for a smoke.

The bartender passes him a bowl of peanuts and, as he does so, Jake hears one of the peanuts say, “Hey buddy, I like the way you’ve styled your hair.

So Jake says to the bartender, “Hey man, this place is weird. Your cigarette machine insults me and then the peanuts are coming on to me. What is this?

The bartender smiles and replies, “Oh, that’s because the cigarette machine is out of order and the peanuts are complimentary,

Short Story Funny Jokes3. Admission to the Kingdom of Heaven:

Music legend, Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth, the UK’s longest-serving monarch, sadly pass away on exactly the same day.

They find themselves standing together at the Pearly Gates in front of St Peter.

St Peter studiously reviews his cloud-connected, tablet computer momentarily before saying, “Ladies, I have some bad news for you I’m afraid. We’ve had a lot of admissions to Heaven today, so there’s only one place left. Therefore I must ask you both to give me one good reason why you should be the one to take that place. And of course, the best reason will get the place.”

These two ladies glance at each other briefly and then Dolly opens her blouse quickly to reveal her very impressive assets.

She then says to St Peter, “These are the finest in Creation and I’m confident the Lord would want the opportunity to admire the results of his excellent work each and every day for eternity.

Thank you, Dolly,” says St Peter. He then looks at Her Royal Highness, the Queen and says, “Your Majesty, what’s your reason?

Now, right next to the Pearly Gates is a restroom for the convenience not only of St Peter himself but also for every soul standing in line awaiting a decision as to whether they’ll be admitted to Heaven.

Her Royal Highness says absolutely nothing in response to St Peter’s question but she walks into the restroom and flushes the toilet.

She then returns to stand next to Dolly and await St Peter’s decision.

St Peter spends a moment considering the matter and he then says, “Your Majesty, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Naturally, Dolly is less than happy with his decision.

Now just hold it a minute there fella!” says Dolly. “I reveal the finest pair ever created and all she does is flush the john.  And then she gets admitted? How can that be right?”

St Peter smiles at Dolly and says, “I understand why you’re not happy Dolly but you must accept that even in Heaven a Royal Flush beats a pair.

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So for you dear reader, did these short story funny jokes make you laugh?

I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

3 funny story jokes that’ll make you chuckle

Funny Story JokesHow to impress the girl of your dreams:

Young Josh is a 16-year-old, shy and socially awkward guy constantly dreaming of dating a girl, like most young men of his age.

As luck would have it the real object of his affections lives right next door to him. Her name’s Charlene, she’s slim, attractive, cultured and perfectly poised.

However poor Josh is a little too bashful to engage her in conversation.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop him watching her dreamily from his bedroom window as she wanders across her yard each morning to use the toilet.

One day Josh’s father notices him watching Charlene from his bedroom window.

Josh if you like the girl, why not say hello to her?” says his Dad.

Oh Dad, I’m not very good at talking to girls, I never quite know what to say to them”, Josh responds.

Look son”, says his dad, “girls just like you to take an interest in them and what they’ve been doing. Just ask her about what she’s been doing.

The following day Josh sees Charlene wander across her yard, heading towards the john at the end of her garden.

Desperate to impress her and thinking he’s spotted an ideal opportunity to follow his Dad’s advice, Josh rushes outside to catch her attention as she’s returning to the house.

Encouraged when Charlene flashes him a smile, Josh is convinced that this is his opportunity impress to her.

And then he hears himself say, “Been taking a dump then, Charlene?

Funny Story JokesThe man and the penguins:

Police officer Maguire is sitting in his patrol car by the side of the freeway when he sees a guy drive past him in a pickup truck which is full of penguins.

With blue lights flashing, Officer Maguire chases after the pickup truck and he pulls the guy over.

Sir, you do know that penguins are a protected species and you can’t drive them around like this in this town?” says Officer Maguire. “I suggest you take them to the zoo.

Having given the guy a polite warning, Officer Maguire then lets him go on his way.

The very next day Officer Maguire is in his patrol car again when he sees the same man still driving around with the penguins and this time they’re all wearing sunglasses.

So Officer Maguire pulls the guy over once again and he says to him, “Hey buddy, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo yesterday.

I did”, the man replies, “and today I’m taking them to the beach.

Funny Story JokesChildren and their teacher:

It’s the end of the school year and the popular kindergarten teacher is receiving gifts from the children in her class.

She asks them to each bring their gift to the front, one at a time.

First up is the florist’s son. He proudly hands her his neatly wrapped gift and she thanks him and smiles.

She then gives the gift a little shake, holds it above her head momentarily and then says, “I bet I know what this is. Some flowers?

That’s right”, says the boy, “but how did you know?

Oh, it’s just a lucky guess“, says the teacher.

The next child to offer a gift is the sweet shop owner’s daughter.

Once again the teacher gives the gift a little shake, holds it above her head momentarily and then says, “I bet I know what this is. It’s a box of sweets?

That’s right”, says the little girl, “but how did you know?

Oh, it’s just a lucky guess“, says the teacher.

The next child to offer a gift is the son of the liquor store owner.

As before the teacher holds the gift-wrapped package above her head momentarily but it’s leaking.

So she touches a drop of the slightly yellow liquid with her finger and then touches her finger on her tongue.

Is it a Chardonnay?” asks the teacher.

No!” the boy replies, a little excited in anticipation of her response.

Once again the teacher touches the leaking, yellowy liquid with her finger and then touches her finger on her tongue.

Perhaps it’s Champagne?” she suggests.

No!” the boy replies, even more excited than before.

So the teacher has one more quick taste of the liquid before saying, “Alright then, I give up, you’ve got me on his one. What is it?

With a beaming smile and great excitement, the boy says, “It’s a puppy!

Please share the fun:

So for you dear reader, did these funny story jokes make you laugh?

I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, I would be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. Thank you.

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© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

You’ll howl laughing at these 5 hilariously funny jokes

1. Getting to know your students:

It was the beginning of a new school year and the teacher was getting to know the children by asking them their names and what their fathers did for a living.

The first little girl to respond said, “I’m Mary and my dad’s a builder.

Then another little girl spoke and said, “My name’s Louisa and my dad’s a police officer.

The conversation went on like this as the teacher went around the class, until one little boy said, “I’m Jack and my dad’s a stripper in a gay bar.

Naturally, the teacher was surprised by this comment and feeling slightly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking, she decided it might be better to change the subject.

A little later she spotted Jack in the schoolyard on his own. So the teacher approached him and asked if it was really true that his father worked as a stripper in a gay bar.

Jack’s face turned a little red as he replied, “No, he’s actually a banker but I was too embarrassed to admit that in front of the class.

2. Bikers at the roadside diner:

Jeff was sitting quietly in a roadside diner enjoying his lunch when suddenly three mean-looking bikers walk in.

The first guy strolls over to Jeff and stubs a cigarette into his lunch.

The second biker then walks over and spits in Jeff’s coffee.

Finally, the third guy picks up Jeff’s plate and flings it crashing to the floor. Then he starts howling with laughter straight in Jeff’s face.

Jeff quietly gets to his feet and just leaves the diner.

The third biker walks across to the waitress who was standing behind the counter and sneers, “Well he wasn’t much of a man now was he?

The waitress smiles and, glancing in the direction of the window, she responds, “It looks like he wasn’t much of a driver either. He’s just backed his truck over those three motorcycles parked outside and trashed them all.

3. The baseball game:

One day the Devil challenges God to a baseball game between teams from Heaven and Hell.

God smiled and said, “Hell wouldn’t have a chance.

Why?” queried the Devil.

Oh Devil, come on now? I’ve got the greatest baseball players of all time. Hey, I’ve got Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle. I’ve even got the Yankee Clipper, Joe DiMaggio. Who have you got?” said God.

The Devil grinned and said, “Well God, impressive as your list is, I’ve still got all the umpires.

4. The haircut:

Jim went into a barber’s shop that was advertising David Beckham-style haircuts.

Twenty minutes later, Jim looked in the mirror and he was shocked to see that looking back at him was a scalp erratically shaven and a head covered in cuts.

Naturally Jim protested to the barber. Pointing to his head, Jim said, “Now listen to me buddy, this is not how David Beckham has his hair cut.

He would if he had his hair cut here,” the barber responded.

5. The nightwatchman:

The US Government-owned a scrapyard in the middle of the desert.

This was the source of some concern to Congress because the feeling was that people could steal from it.

So they decided to create the role of nightwatchman and someone was hired to do the job.

However, Congress was then concerned about how the night watchman could carry out his duties without instruction.

The solution to this dilemma was to create a planning department and two people were hired. One was hired to write instructions and the other to carry out time and motion studies.

Congress then had concerns around how they might measure whether the night watchman was doing his job effectively.

To address this problem they created a Quality Control department and hired two more people. One was hired to study job performance and the other to write reports.

Then Congress questioned how everyone was to get paid. To resolve this issue, two more people were hired; one as a timekeeper and one as a payroll officer.

However, that wasn’t the end of Congress’s concerns because the obvious question was, “Who is to be accountable for all these people?

The solution was to create an Administration Department and hire three more people – an administration director, an administration officer, and a legal secretary.

A year went by and following a review Congress was concerned that this operation was $27,000 over budget. Naturally, they considered what could be done to reduce overall costs.

The solution agreed by Congress was to lay off the night watchman.

Please share with your friends on social media:

I hope these hilariously funny jokes made you laugh dear reader.

However, perhaps you feel that you could use another laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here then please share with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

15 Really Bad Jokes: So Bad They’re Funny

Bad JokesHere are 15 really bad jokes that will make you cringe and make you smile simultaneously.

They really are so bad they’re funny. Certainly, they made me smile.

  • Cashier in store: “Would you like the milk in a bag”?
  • Man: “No, just leave it in the carton”.
  • Man in a bookstore: Where is the Self Help section, please?
  • Saleswoman: If I told that sir it would defeat the purpose.
  • Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
  • In case he gets a hole in one!
  • How do you make holy water?
  • You boil the hell out of it.
  • What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
  • Nothing, they just waved.
  • Who’s the king of the classroom?
  • The Ruler!
  • What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?
  • Feyoncé!
  • Why can’t zoo animals take tests?
  • There are too many cheetahs!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award?
  • Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth?
  • Someday my prints will come.
  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
  • Great food but no atmosphere!
  • How many apples grow on a tree?
  • All of them!
  • How do think the unthinkable?
  • With an itheberg!
  • What do you call a blind dinosaur?
  • Doyouthinkhesaurus
  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
  • It goes back four seconds!

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If any of these really bad jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face now and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post right away.

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5 rib-ticklingly funny short story jokes to make you laugh

1. The funeral cortège:

Bill was walking along Main Street when he saw a funeral cortège, so he stopped for a moment as a mark of respect.

He noticed that there were two hearses with coffins in the cortège and the procession was being followed by a man walking solemnly with a pit bull terrier on a leash.

And behind him there was a long line of about 100 men walking quietly in single file.

Curious Bill spoke to the man with the dog and asked, “Excuse me, sir, I don’t want to intrude on this sad occasion but your situation seems a little unusual. Whose funeral is this?

Well”, the man replied, “The first hearse is for my late wife. She died after this dog attacked her.

And the second hearse?” said Bill.

The second hearse is for my late mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife during the attack and the dog savaged her to death too”, the man responded.

Bill thought momentarily about the challenges in his own life and then he said to the man, “Is there any chance I could borrow your dog after the funeral?

The man smiled and pointed to the line of men behind him and said, “You’ll have to join the queue buddy.

2. The power of prayer:

Jackie was invited to give a talk at her local women’s group about the power of prayer.

With her husband Mike in the audience, she recalled how a few short months ago she’d turned to God when poor Mike had suffered an unfortunate accident.

Six months ago”, Jackie began, “my husband Mike was knocked off his motorcycle and his scrotum was smashed.”

Jackie explained that for Mike the pain had been unbearable and his doctors weren’t sure they’d be able to help him.

The doctors warned us that our lives might never be the same again”, said Jackie. “I can tell you I was scared. Mike was unable to get close to me or the children because every move caused him such extreme discomfort. And that meant he could no longer be touched around the scrotum.”

Jackie paused momentarily to allow the audience to absorb her words.

Then she said, “I’m not ashamed to say I turned to God for help and I prayed that the doctors would be able to repair Mike.

Again she paused and then said, “Fortunately our prayers were answered and the doctors were able to piece together the remnants of Mike’s scrotum with wire holding everything in place. His medical team tell me that he will make a full recovery and regain the full use of his scrotum.”

As the audience burst into applause, a lone man walked slowly up to the stage and said, “Hello I’m Mike, Jackie’s husband and I just wanted to remind my wife once again that the word is ‘sternum’.”

3. Discovering facts:

As part of her rehabilitation, a patient in a mental hospital was told by her psychiatrist to go out into the nearby town and discover one new fact.

Off she went and then a few hours later the patient returned to the hospital to tell the psychiatrist all about what she had learned.

So said her psychiatrist, “Were you able to find out something you didn’t know before?

Yes”, said the patient, “I discovered that spiders have ears on their legs.

Ears on their legs?” said the psychiatrist. “How did you work that out?

The patient produced a matchbox and when opened a large spider crawled out on to the psychiatrist’s desk.

The patient then said “Boo!

The spider scurried quickly across the desktop.

The patient then grabbed the spider and proceeded to pull off all its legs.

She then put it back on the desk and once again said, “Boo!

Naturally the spider was motionless.

The patient looked at the psychiatrist, smiled and then said, “Do you see? Without its legs, it can’t hear me.”

4. The admiral and the general:

A Navy admiral and an Army general were fishing together on a lake one day when a storm blew up and their boat capsized.

Not being quite as fit as they once were, both men were floundering helplessly in the water.

However, eventually, the general managed to right the boat and clamber back on board.

He then rescued the admiral from drowning by reaching out to him with one of the oars and then hauling him back in.

As the admiral was dragged into the boat he struggled for a few seconds to regain his composure.

Then he said, “Please don’t say a word to anyone about this. If anyone in the Navy knew I couldn’t swim, I’d be disgraced.

The general smiled and said, “Don’t worry buddy your secret’s safe with me. I’d hate for my troops to find out that I couldn’t walk on water.

5. The origin of the species:

As she was getting ready for school one morning Grace asked her mother, “How did the human race appear mom?”

Well”, said her mother, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and that’s how we all began dear.”

Two days later Grace asked her father the same question.

Well”, said her father, “first there were apes and from them, the human race has evolved.

Naturally, these responses left Grace a little confused.

So once again she spoke with her mother and said, “Mom I don’t understand. You said that we were created by God but dad says we evolved from apes. How can that be?

Her mother smiled and said, “Well darling it’s all very simple really. I was telling you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.

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Did any of these funny short story jokes really make you laugh? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

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5 funny short story jokes you’ll just have to share with others

Funny Short Story JokeToday I offer you some funny short story jokes, dear reader. I’m confident they’ll make you smile and I’m sure you’ll just have to share them with your friends.

Enjoy them all.

Funny Short Story Jokes:

1. Billy wants to get married:

Young Billy returned home one evening for dinner, after spending the afternoon playing with his little friend Mary who lived next door.

Naturally, his parents asked him what he’d been doing all afternoon.

We played soccer for a while and then I proposed to Mary,” he said.

Not wishing to belittle him, his mum and dad went along with the idea but his dad thought a little fatherly advice might be appropriate at this point.

Billy you do know that being married is an expensive business, don’t you?” said his dad, “How will you both manage?

Well,” said Billy, “with the $5 I get from you for pocket money each week and the $5 she gets from her folks, I think we’ll manage. And I can always take on a paper route to earn extra cash.

Suppressing a strong desire to burst out laughing, his mother said, “That’s all very well Billy but how will you and Mary manage if you were to have a baby?

Well”, said Billy, “we’ve been lucky to avoid that so far.

2. Ben goes to the pool:

Young Ben and his friends went to the local swimming pool for the afternoon.

They were playing around as kids do when the lifeguard shouted at Ben, “Hey kid, you’re not allowed to pee in the pool!

But everyone pees in the pool”, Ben responded.

Maybe so kid”, said the lifeguard, “but not from the high diving board.

3. Knock, Knock:

An elderly man was walking down the street one day when he observed a small boy struggling to reach the doorbell at one of the houses.

The kindly old man said to the boy, “Can I help you with that sonny?

At which point he smiled, placed a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder whilst pressing the doorbell firmly with his other hand.

There”, said the old man, as he stepped back from the door. “Now what do we do young man?

We run like hell mister”, the boy replied.

4. Washing the dog:

Little Johnny went into the store and after some searching around he picked out a large box of laundry detergent.

Having been observing Johnny for a few minutes, the store assistant asked him whether he had a lot of laundry to do.

No”, said Johnny, “I’m not doing any laundry. I’m going to wash my little dog.

The store assistant frowned at him and said, “Listen, sonny, that’s a powerful detergent and far too strong for washing a small dog. It could make him ill or perhaps even kill him if you’re not careful.

Undeterred Little Johnny said he’d take the detergent anyway, then he paid the man and left the store.

A week later Little Johnny was back in the store to buy a Hershey bar. The store assistant saw him and said, “Hey Johnny how’s your little dog?

Oh, he died,” said Little Johnny.

I’m sorry to hear that son but I did warn you about that detergent,” the store assistant replied.

I don’t think it was the detergent,” said Little Johnny.

Really?” said the store assistant, “So what was it then?

“He looked like he was coping very well until the washing machine went into the spin cycle,” Little Johnny replied.

5. The Budgie:

Geoffrey sees a budgie in the window of a pet store and feeling a little sorry for the bird he decides he’ll buy it.

However, he’s quickly disappointed when, despite his best efforts, he can’t get the budgie to talk.

So he decides to go back to the pet store to complain.

I purchased this budgie a month ago now but I can’t get him to utter a single word”, said Geoffrey to the store assistant.

Try him with a mirror”, the store assistant suggested. “Budgies love to look at their own reflection and you’ll soon have him saying, who’s a pretty boy.

So Geoffrey purchased a mirror from the store assistant and returned home with his budgie.

Once again he was disappointed, as the budgie still wouldn’t talk.

So once again Geoffrey went to the pet store to complain.

Try him with a ladder”, said the store assistant. “Budgies love climbing and I’m sure he won’t stop talking once he’s got a ladder.

So Geoffrey purchased a little ladder from the store assistant and returned home with his budgie.

Yet again not a word was spoken by the budgie, so a week later Geoffrey was back in the pet store again with the budgie.

Try getting him a bell”, said the store assistant. “The sound of a bell will encourage him to talk I’m sure. At the very least he’ll try to imitate the bell’s sound.

So Geoffrey bought the bell and returned home only to be disappointed yet again.

Two weeks later Geoffrey’s back in the pet store.

How’s your budgie?” asked the store assistant. “Have you got it talking yet?

Finally he did say something”, said Geoffrey. “He looked in the mirror, climbed the ladder, rang his bell, uttered a few words and then dropped off his perch and died.

Oh dear!” said the store assistant. “What did he say?”

He said, doesn’t that damn pet store sell birdseed?” Geoffrey responded.

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Did these funny short story jokes really make you laugh? Did they really make smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

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17 cheesy jokes guaranteed to raise a smile

Cheesy JokesOnce again I’ve been surfing the Internet looking for humour and smiles.

On this occasion I was looking for cheesy jokes.

So here are 17 cheesy jokes I found that should make you smile today I hope.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t identify the authors but should you be one of them please let me know and I will add a suitable credit and link to your work.

Cheesy jokes:

  • What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles? 
  • UCLA 

 

  • Which US State has the smallest soft drinks? 
  • Mini-soda 

 

  • Where do pencils go for vacation? 
  • Pencil-vania

 

  • What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?
  • A loose Canon

 

  • What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? 
  • A Bagel 

 

  • Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? 
  • The Old Volks home!

 

  • What did the fisherman say to the magician? 
  • Pick a cod, any cod!

 

  • Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?
  • Because he was on a roll 

 

  • Why did the poor man sell yeast? 
  • To raise some dough

 

  • How do snails fight? 
  • They slug it out

 

  • Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? 
  • Because he wanted to see time fly! 

 

  • What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun? 
  • I just love baskin’ robins

 

  • What do lawyers wear to court? 
  • Lawsuits! 

 

  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? 
  • He wanted cold hard cash!

 

  • What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? 
  • I don’t know and I don’t care. 

 

  • How does NASA organize a party?
  • They planet

 

  • What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand? 
  • Quattro Sinko 

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Were these cheesy quotes funny? Did they make smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

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Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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