4 short story funny jokes that’ll brighten your day

SHORT STORY FUNNY JOKESIf you’re looking for some short story funny jokes then I have four excellent ones for you today, dear reader.

I’m confident that at least one or two of them will tickle you.

So, take an unofficial break, grab a coffee, relax and enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Short story funny jokes:

1. Surprise Party:

Jane had a craving for Heinz beans and unwisely consumed three plates of beans during lunch break at work one day.

Now, on the day in question, it happened to be Jane’s birthday and when she got home from work her husband Jim, met her excitedly at the door.

Darling, I’ve got a surprise for dinner tonight,” said Jim.

And with that, he blindfolded Jane and led her by the hand, through the house, into the dining room and sat her down at the table.

As Jane sat down, and just as Jim was about to remove her blindfold, she heard the telephone ring in the hall.

Darling,” said Jim, “bear with me for a second whilst I answer the telephone but please, please don’t remove your blindfold until I get back. I want to video your reaction for posting on Facebook. No peeking!

Well, Jane was actually quite grateful for this fortunate interruption because those beans had started to percolate, generating intestinal gases within her that were building up a pressure of such magnitude that she felt like she was about to explode.

She reasoned that Jim would be gone for a few minutes, so she thought it would be safe to seize the opportunity to release this flatulence.

Release it she did and it was not only loud but it smelled like a surfeit of skunks in a garbage dump. It was a truly awful smell.

However, the relief for Jane was instant, and she quickly used her napkin to fan the air vigorously in the hope that the gas would be dispersed by the time Jim returned.

Well, unfortunately, her gas problem didn’t end there and Jane was forced to release several more minor, intestinal explosions, the smell of which was just unimaginably bad.

However, for Jane, the pleasure of releasing all this gas pressure was indescribable. It was just such a relief, so she wafted her napkin as quickly as possible in a desperate attempt to improve the air quality in the dining room before Jim returned.

Within a few minutes, Jim did return, apologising profusely for his absence.

I hope you’ve not been peeking, whilst I’ve been away,” Jim said playfully.

Jane was quick to confirm she hadn’t.

At this point, Jim removed her blindfold, only to reveal that they were accompanied by 12 dinner guests all seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, as they shouted, “Happy Birthday, Jane!

2. Strange Bar:

Jake walked into a Manhattan bar and he sits down at the counter.

He then says to the bartender, “Hey buddy, where can I get some cigarettes?

There’s a cigarette machine over there in the corner by the john,” the bartender replies.

So Jake walks over to the machine and just as he’s about to select his preferred brand of cigarettes, the machine says, “Hey, you’re a freakin’ idiot!

Jake is stunned momentarily. Then he thinks, “That’s really not very nice!” So he returns to the counter without any cigarettes.

As he sits on his stool again, he asks the bartender for some peanuts in an attempt to distract himself from his craving for a smoke.

The bartender passes him a bowl of peanuts and, as he does so, Jake hears one of the peanuts say, “Hey buddy, I like the way you’ve styled your hair.

So Jake says to the bartender, “Hey man, this place is weird. Your cigarette machine insults me and then the peanuts are coming on to me. What is this?

The bartender smiles and replies, “Oh, that’s because the cigarette machine is out of order and the peanuts are complimentary,

3. Communication problem:

Interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, the judge asks, “Mam, what are the grounds for your divorce?

About four acres with a nice, detached villa in the middle of the property,” she replies.

No, mam,” says the judge, “I meant what is the foundation of this case?

It’s made of concrete, bricks and mortar,” the woman responds.

No, mam,” he continued, “I meant what are your relations like?

Well,” says the woman, “I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and two cousins living in the next county.”

The judge thought momentarily and then said, “Do you have a real grudge?

No, sir,” the woman replies, “we have a two-car carport, so we’ve never really needed one.

Mam, please,” said the judge trying once again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?

Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets,” the woman replied, “We’re not people who like to listen to music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”

Struggling to maintain his composure, the judge has another try, “Mam, does your husband ever beat you up?

Yes, sir,” she responds, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asks, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?

Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she says.

Then why are we here?” the judge responds.

My husband wants a divorce,” the woman replies. “He says he can’t communicate with me.

4. Admission to the Kingdom of Heaven:

Music legend, Dolly Parton and King Charles, the UK’s monarch, sadly pass away on exactly the same day.

They find themselves standing together at the Pearly Gates in front of St Peter.

St Peter studiously reviews his cloud-connected, tablet computer momentarily before saying, “Now, I have some bad news for you I’m afraid. We’ve had a lot of admissions to Heaven today, so there’s only one place left. Therefore I must ask you both to give me one good reason why you should be the one to take that place. And of course, the best reason will get the place.”

They glance at each other briefly and then Dolly opens her blouse quickly to reveal her very impressive assets.

She then says to St Peter, “These are the finest in Creation and I’m confident the Lord would want the opportunity to admire the results of his excellent work each and every day for eternity.

Thank you, Dolly,” says St Peter. He then looks at His Royal Highness, the King and says, “Your Majesty, what’s your reason?

Now, right next to the Pearly Gates is a restroom for the convenience not only of St Peter himself but also for every soul standing in line awaiting a decision as to whether they’ll be admitted to Heaven.

His Royal Highness says absolutely nothing in response to St Peter’s question but he walks into the restroom and flushes the toilet.

He then returns to stand next to Dolly and awaits St Peter’s decision.

St Peter spends a moment considering the matter and he then says, “Your Majesty, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Naturally, Dolly is less than happy with his decision.

Now just hold it a minute there fella!” says Dolly. “I reveal the finest pair ever created and all he does is flush the john.  And then she gets admitted? How can that be right? That’s sexism, surely?”

St Peter smiles at Dolly and says, “I understand why you’re not happy Dolly but you must accept that even in Heaven a Royal Flush beats a pair.

Please share the fun:

So for you dear reader, did these short story funny jokes make you laugh?

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