25 funny, short jokes that will tickle you

FUNNY SHORT JOKESIf you’re looking for some short, funny jokes to cheer you up then I have 25 little gems here for you today, dear reader. I hope you enjoy them all.

Certainly, they tickled me and I’m confident that you will like them too.

So, please grab a cup of coffee and then take a shot break to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on

Funny jokes (1-10):

  1. My wife suggested that I make a belt out of old pocket watches, but I thought that would be a waist of time.
  2. Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers, is that true? Husband: To be honest, I didn’t even know she sold flowers.
  3. I tried mixing Mexican alcohol with 20th-century American literature last night. The result was tequila mockingbird.
  4. I bought a sweater, but it just kept picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store, and they gave me another one, free of charge.
  5. Being kissed while you’re asleep must be one of the purest forms of love, unless you’re in prison, of course.
  6. I woke up this morning and found my pet mouse Elvis dead in the kitchen. He was caught in a trap.
  7. Did you hear what happened at the bread factory? It went up in flames this morning. Everything was toast.
  8. Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.
  9. I went to Sea World with Lionel Richie and his amazing, performing pet cat. What a feline, dancing on the sea lion.
  10. My wife took going to jail badly. She swore at anyone who came near her and started throwing things everywhere. I won’t be playing Monopoly with her again.

Funny jokes (11-20):

  1. I went to see my doctor this morning wearing creased clothes. He says I have an iron deficiency.
  2. It’s my wife’s birthday next week and she’s been leaving jewellery catalogues all over the house. I hope she likes the magazine rack I bought her.
  3. Little Johnny:Miss, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?Teacher:Of course not, Johnny! That wouldn’t be fair!Little Johnny:That’s good to know Miss because I haven’t done my homework.”
  4. Bill was devastated when he arrived home with his 5-year-old and his wife told him the boy wasn’t his. She told him that he needed to pay more attention when picking his son up from school.
  5. Waiter:How would you like your steak, sir?Me:Like winning an argument with my wife.Waiter:Rare it is then!
  6. My neighbour’s wife left him last week. Apparently, she said she was going out for milk but never came back. I asked him how he was coping. “Not bad,” he said, “I’ve been using that powdered stuff.”
  7. Don’t you hate it when you compliment someone on how bushy their moustache is and then she suddenly starts getting upset with you?
  8. I threw a ball for my dog. Everyone said that I was being extravagant, but it was his birthday, and he did look great in a dinner jacket.
  9. My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect and for that I am eternally grapefruit.
  10. They’ve got a new machine in my gym. I used it for half an hour yesterday but then I started to feel sick. It’s great though. It does everything, KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, Hershey bars, Oreo Cookies, the lot.

Funny jokes (21-25):

  1. I read a book last night called, “How to end sentences with Beatles song titles“. That’s two hours of my life I won’t get back.
  2. My wife suddenly burst into our living room and shouted, “Honey, pack your bags. I’ve won the lottery!” Naturally, I said, “Oh wow! What should I pack, beach stuff or comfortable walking shoes?” “No!” she said. “You don’t understand. I’ve won the lottery. Just get out.
  3. I started a new job as a deliveryman today. When I got to the first address there was a little note on the door saying, “Dear Mr Deliveryman, we’re out, please hide in the garage.” That was eight hours ago and still, nobody’s found me.
  4. What’s the quickest way to Cork?” l asked the Irish farmer. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked. “Driving,” I replied. “Yes,” he responded. “That’ll be the quickest way.
  5. I got kicked out of the Walmart staff room today. They asked me what I was doing there. “Taking a break,” I responded. “But you don’t work here!” they replied. “Well, I’ve just been through the self-checkout,” I said. “So, clearly, I do!

Please share this post with your friends:

FUNNY SHORT JOKES So dear reader, were these funny, short jokes amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

I hope so. If they made you smile, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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