Sarcasm Quotes

39 attitude quotes that take sarcasm to another level

Attitude QuotesIf you like attitude quotes, clever put-downs and sarcasm then you should enjoy this collection today.

39 sarcastic remarks to add to your quiver full of arrows. These are ammunition for use on another day, when someone tries to have a go at you and needs reminding that you’re a person with whom they should not mess, if they know what’s good for them.

Hopefully one or two of these might just give you a good laugh too. Enjoy them all.

Attitude quotes:

  1. I get it. Life’s a soup and I’m a fork.
  2. If your phone doesn’t ring, it’ll be me.
  3. If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.
  4. Just be yourself isn’t always good advice.
  5. What doesn’t kill you can only disappoint me.
  6. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
  7. You look like something I drew with my left hand.
  8. If you’re the voice of reason, then we’re in trouble.
  9. If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
  10. Hey, I found your nose again. It was in my business.
  11. If only you ran like your mouth. You’d be in great shape.
  12. You’re such a treasure, why hasn’t someone buried you?
  13. You know, you have one really annoying habit. Breathing.
  14. If I was meant to be controlled, I’d have come with a remote.
  15. I have plenty of terrible ideas. Just let me know if you need any.
  16. I wasn’t being rude. I just said what everyone else was thinking.
  17. May your earholes turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders.
  18. Oh, darling, you should really go out and buy yourself a personality.
  19. I try to see the best in everyone but you’re making it really difficult.
  20. You think you know it all but clearly you don’t know when to shut up.
  21. I’m really sorry if my sense of humour offended your total lack of one.
  22. WIFE to HUSBAND: Sure, I make terrible choices. One of them was you.
  23. I encouraged my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big hug.
  24. I’m not one for revenge but I might arrange for you to have an accident.
  25. Putting on your makeup every day must be hard, with you having two faces.
  26. They call it a selfie because narcissist is too hard for most people to spell.
  27. I can’t help but wonder why someone hasn’t hit you in the face with a shovel yet.
  28. When you spun the wheel of attitude this morning, clearly it landed on bitch again.
  29. I’d love to help you but I don’t even play an active role in my own life anymore.
  30. Roses are red; violets are blue; I’ve got five fingers; the middle one’s for you.
  31. Do I think you’re pretentious? You’d eat worms in a deli if they came with a French name.
  32. There’s someone for everyone and the person for you would have to be a psychiatrist.
  33. Apart from being physically exhausted, financially challenged, overweight and mentally unstable, everything’s going really well. Thanks.
  34. It’s not for me to question your father’s sperm count but, seriously, you were actually the sperm that won?
  35. If I’m smiling, I’m contemplating doing something really bad. If I’m laughing, I’ve already done it.
  36. I don’t have an attitude problem. You may have a problem with my attitude but that’s not a problem for me.
  37. There are trees out there tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe them an apology.
  38. When I was a child, my father told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. It seems, nowadays they call that identity theft.
  39. Let me stop you right there. If it involves early mornings, sweating or dealing with people, then the answer’s No!

Attitude QuotesPlease share this post with your friends:

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If any of these attitude quotes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

33 irony and sarcasm quotes subtly conveying contempt

Irony and SarcasmPeople! When they get too much, there are times when we all need to use a little irony and sarcasm for subtly conveying contempt.

We can’t live without people of course but they do drive us all nuts at times too, or is that just me?

Actually I love people. Well, most of the time anyway.

However, I also like to have my little stock of sarcastic remarks, retorts and put-downs ready to use when I need them. And occasionally we all need them, don’t we?

So today I thought I’d share with you 33 irony and sarcasm quotes which subtly convey contempt.

Read them. Enjoy them. I hope some of them make you smile.

And if you’re ever in a situation that warrants a biting comeback then you’ll be well-prepared. I hope so anyway.

Irony and sarcasm for subtly conveying contempt:

  1. You go, girl! And please don’t come back.
  2. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  3. Those who laugh last think slowest.
  4. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than your absence.
  5. It’s obvious that in your profession being stupid is not a handicap.
  6. Look I’m really busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  7. Is being stupid your profession or are you simply gifted that way?
  8. If you’re ever given the keys to the City then the City will need to change the locks.
  9. How is it that when you see light at the end of the tunnel you always manage to extend the tunnel?
  10. If ignorance is bliss then you should be the happiest guy on the planet.
  11. To err is human but to blame it on others now that’s the art of politics.
  12. I’d say something polite but that might encourage you to hang around and that would be more than I could bear.
  13. They said this was a job anyone could do and now I’ve met you I know that to be true.
  14. You’re living proof that inability is not necessarily a liability in the job market.
  15. Irony and SarcasmI didn’t vote for you, I voted to stop your opponent gaining power.
  16. Sorry for the pause but I was trying to imagine you with a personality.
  17. When you say something worth hearing I’ll listen but I doubt that’ll happen any time soon.
  18. Look I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you. You’ve got to do some of the heavy lifting yourself.
  19. My opinion offended you? You should hear the opinions I keep to myself.
  20. I do try to see things from your point of view but your point of view is so stupid.
  21. If what I said is a problem for you then perhaps you could write it down on a piece of paper and then shove that piece of paper up your ass.
  22. You’re reading that book to look good, surely? Certainly, as far as I can tell, you lack the brains to understand it.
  23. You’re one of those people who manage to spread a little misery wherever you go.
  24. I’d enlighten you if I could but I’m not a magician.
  25. You’re living proof that light travels faster than sound. You appeared quite bright until I heard what you said.
  26. It wasn’t my intention to offend you when I called you stupid. I just assumed you knew that already.
  27. Are you really that stingy or do you just have extremely short arms and very deep pockets?
  28. If laughter is the best medicine then your face is the cure for every illness known to man.
  29. I’m not listening but please keep talking. Why wouldn’t I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed?
  30. Not all girls are made from sugar and spice and everything nice. Some are made from sarcasm and wine and everything fine.
  31. You may lack the power of conversation but unfortunately, you don’t lack the power of speech.
  32. If it looked like I give a damn then allow me to apologize for giving you the wrong impression.
  33. I’m not sarcastic by nature; I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these irony and sarcasm quotes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

50 sarcastic remarks that say, ‘Don’t mess with me!’

Sarcastic RemarksIf you admire a clever put-down or sharp, sarcastic remarks then here are 50 you might like to add to your quiver full of arrows.

These can be your ammunition for another day, when someone tries to put one over on you.

We all need a little ammunition for those occasions when we need to send a message to someone that says, ‘Don’t mess with me!

And of course, we all need a good laugh too. So these should help with that as well. Enjoy them all.

Sarcastic Remarks:

  1. I’ve met some pricks in my time but you really are the full cactus.
  2. Tact is for people who lack the wit to respond with sarcasm.
  3. Leave sarcasm and insults to the professionals. You’re an amateur.
  4. I’m guessing you’re not a rocket scientist by profession?
  5. You’re mistaking me for someone who cares what you think.
  6. You’re about as useful as a condom with a hole in it.
  7. You’re wearing that shirt for a bet, surely?
  8. There’s more intelligent life at the bottom of ponds.
  9. The mirror doesn’t lie but lucky for you it doesn’t laugh either.
  10. If your aim was to impress me, you’ve failed.
  11. Does your carer know you’re out on your own?
  12. Did I ask for your opinion? I think not.
  13. If I act like I don’t care that’s because I don’t.
  14. If it’s loyalty you want get a dog.
  15. If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
  16. That’s an eye-catching dress mam. Where did you buy it? Walmart?
  17. You’re living proof that even dumb people can find work.
  18. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a sandwich short of a picnic?
  19. You’re the result of four billion years of evolution. Try to act like it.
  20. That was about as interesting as watching paint dry.
  21. I’ve had more fun having root canal treatment.
  22. You’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?
  23. Did you still find it funny when it happened to you?
  24. You’re not ugly. Unattractive definitely, but not really ugly.
  25. Sarcastic RemarksIf you don’t want sarcastic answers don’t ask me stupid questions.
  26. You have all the charm of a cobra in a bad mood.
  27. In another age you’d have been burned at the stake.
  28. Normally I pretend to like you but today I really can’t be bothered.
  29. Violence may not solve anything but it might make me feel better.
  30. Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
  31. Sure I’ll help you out buddy. The same way you came in.
  32. Don’t take yourself too seriously, no one else does.
  33. If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
  34. You sound better with your mouth closed.
  35. I’m sorry. What language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit.
  36. You have every right to express an opinion sir and I have every right to ignore it.
  37. Do I think you’re stupid? Well, I was wondering how you manage to tie your shoelaces.
  38. You do realize that a line of work consistent with your weaknesses is not an ideal career choice?
  39. I know I asked for a rare steak but a good vet could have this one back on its feet again and grazing in the pasture.
  40. I’ve met stingy people before but you wouldn’t give anyone the snot from your nose.
  41. When they ask me to complete the customer satisfaction survey I’ll be sure to mention that you’re a complete asshole.
  42. I’ve met plenty of stupid people in my time but you’re taking stupidity to an entirely new level not seen before.
  43. Which part of ‘I’m not interested’ is too difficult for you to understand?
  44. I could insult you but it would be cruel to pick on someone so lacking in intellect that they cannot defend themselves.
  45. If that dress you’re wearing is part of a get-noticed strategy mam it’s working I can assure you.
  46. When I look at you I can see that the lights are on but no one’s home.
  47. I didn’t realize someone could be annoying at first sight …… until now!
  48. If I wrote down every intelligent thought you’d ever had it wouldn’t amount to a single tweet
  49. I didn’t say I hated you but I’d certainly unplug your life support if my phone needed charging.
  50. You’re a low paid gatekeeper in a cheap suit and a polyester tie getting off on your little bit of power. Enjoy the moment buddy. You know you’re nothing and so does everyone else.

Enjoyed these sarcastic remarks? Please share them:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these sarcastic remarks made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share them now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

30 sarcasm examples that’ll really make you smile

Sarcasm ExamplesIrony, wit and sarcastic responses are always well-received by readers.

So today I offer 30 more sarcasm examples that you can add to your ammunition stockpile. They will make you smile too.

Enjoy them all and if you have any of your own then please add them to the comments. I’d love to hear from you and I’m sure other readers would too.

Sarcasm examples:

  1. Are you talking to me or chewing a brick?
  2. You’ve got a face only a mother could love.
  3. You’re about as pleasant as colonic irrigation.
  4. Why don’t you go sit on the rough end of a pineapple?
  5. If I appear to be disinterested that’s because I am.
  6. I didn’t ask for your advice, so why would you assume I need it?
  7. Dressed like that I’m guessing you’re off to a loud shirt party?
  8. What’s the matter with you? You’ve got a face on you like a wet weekend.
  9. Am I a bitch or just a girl who’s looking after her own interests and takes no crap from anyone? You may not like it but it works for me. So suck it up buttercup.
  10. I appreciate you giving me this opportunity for a lengthy exchange of ideas but I’m busy. So please just go away.
  11. I get it that life has been unfair to you and that you’re not happy but why’s that my problem?
  12. When you say ‘ad hoc’ does that mean I can do it as necessary or were you just trying to impress me with your knowledge of Latin?
  13. When you suggest ‘I’m just biased’ does that mean deep down you think I may actually have a point but you don’t want to admit it?
  14. Listen, buddy, I can sell you a drink but I can’t offer you solutions to your problems. I’m a bartender, not a psychotherapist.
  15. Sarcasm ExamplesYou keep saying that money’s not important but I’d love to see how long you can live without it.
  16. What have you done to your hair? It looks like it’s been cut with a knife and fork.
  17. You know you’re old when you receive a welcome letter from AARP which serves only to remind you that you’re not quite dead yet.
  18. It may be moderately challenging but let’s face it, it’s not rocket science, is it?
  19. That’s an interesting idea. Why don’t you put it in the Suggestion Box and I’ll be sure to ignore it?
  20. So life was so much better back in your day? Well whoop-dee-doo. The rest of us are so pleased for you, NOT.
  21. It was a joke. We used to tell them to each other before everyone was so easily offended.
  22. Just because you work hard you shouldn’t assume your efforts will be appreciated. What did you expect? Applause?
  23. You do realize that feeling that everyone’s out to get you may not just be a feeling?
  24. Yes, I received your email and I ignored it like every other message I have in my Inbox. I’ve actually got work to do.
  25. Referring to yourself as a professional is not for me a guarantee that you’ll have any significant level of competence.
  26. One day you’ll realize that behaving like a total dick was not a good idea and it doesn’t impress anyone.
  27. ‘Have a nice day’ is something you say but in my experience rarely is it something you mean.
  28. You’re not old. Chronologically challenged, yes! But there’s a bit more life in you yet.
  29. If you don’t feel that this job is worthy of your talents then you can always quit and go spend more time with your ego.
  30. Being a perfectionist will make you the worst kind of boss in the world. On the upside, it’ll also make you the best kind of sexual partner. So it’s not all bad.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these sarcasm examples made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

33 funny sarcasm quotes guaranteed to make you smile

Funny Sarcasm QuotesOnce again I return to the theme of sarcasm and in particular funny sarcasm quotes. I love them as they always make me smile dear reader.

Not only that, I always get such a positive response from readers when I include some funny sarcasm quotes. So I’m guessing you enjoy them too.

If nothing else you can add some of them to your little quiver full of arrows for when you need to be well armed against stupid and difficult people, and there are plenty of both around, I’m sure you’ll agree?

So take a few minutes now and enjoy them all.

Funny sarcasm quotes:

  1. I love the sound when you shut up.
  2. What’s wrong with me? Do you want a list?
  3. I have three words for you. You need help!
  4. Feel free to judge me when you’re perfect.
  5. I may not be perfect but at least I’m not you.
  6. Well aren’t you a little ray of sarcastic sunshine.
  7. Tact is for people who lack the wit to be sarcastic.
  8. Hey, you know what you’d look good in? Concrete!
  9. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice.
  10. The only problem I have with you is you’re still breathing.
  11. Am I always angry and irritable? No, sometimes I’m asleep.
  12. I’ve already had my patience tested. The result was negative.
  13. I try to see the best in everyone buy you’re not making it easy.
  14. Did you ever get the feeling that you’ve seized the wrong day?
  15. I don’t hate you. I’m just not that excited about your existence.
  16. If I was a bird this morning, you’d be the first person I’d crap on.
  17. May you earholes turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders.
  18. If you don’t like sarcasm, would profanity work better with you?
  19. That girl could reduce a man to tears with one lash of her tongue.
  20. Being dead is like being stupid it’s only a problem for other people.
  21. You should be aware that my sense of humor may hurt your feelings.
  22. Your ass must be jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth.
  23. My text messages would make more sense if there was a sarcasm font.
  24. I hope you appreciate the effort I’ve put in to not punching you in the face.
  25. Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were an expert on how I should live my life.
  26. I’d tell you to go to Hell but I work there and I wouldn’t want to see you every day.
  27. Ignorance can be educated and crazy can be medicated but there’s no cure for stupid.
  28. I thought rock bottom would be as far down as I’d go. I didn’t realize it had a basement.
  29. When I look at you I can’t help but think, “Why hasn’t someone hit you with a shovel yet?”
  30. Do I dislike you? Well let me put it this way I’d willingly buy you a toaster for your bathtub.
  31. Let’s hope you experience a sudden case of explosive diarrhea whilst you’re stuck in traffic.
  32. You’d be unwise to give me your attitude unless you want to be on the receiving end of mine.
  33. May the fleas from a thousand camels infest your ass and may your arms be too short to scratch.

Funny Sarcasm QuotesPlease share this post with your friends:

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So please share it now. If you can do that for me I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day.

If you fancy some more laughs then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Thank you.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

27 funny comebacks that’ll prove no one should mess with you

Funny ComebacksHave you ever been in a situation where you’d wished you had a smart response straight off the tongue to put someone well and truly in their place?

An insult or funny comeback to let someone know that they’re attempting to mess with someone they really shouldn’t mess with?

Certainly it’s a good idea to have your own personal stock of insults and funny comebacks ready and waiting to be used, just in case.

This would be your own deadly quiver full of arrows.

There’s nothing worse than being stuck for words only to kick yourself later when you think of a good comeback but it’s all a bit late.

So here’s another selection of 27 insults and funny comebacks so your gun is loaded, cocked and ready to fire. No one messes with you dear reader.

27 Funny Comebacks:

  1. Well I was pro-life……until I met you.
  2. You’re so fat you could sell shade.
  3. You’re living proof that evolution can go into reverse.
  4. If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.
  5. You’ll go far, and hopefully you won’t come back.
  6. You’re living proof that God really does have a sense of humor.
  7. Were you born this stupid or have you had special training?
  8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  9. You’re about as useful as a condom with a hole in it.
  10. Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
  11. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people.
  12. Hey, your village called. They want their idiot back.
  13. Hey, the zoo called. They’re wondering how you got out of your cage?
  14. Please just tell me that you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
  15. Jesus might love you, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.
  16. Save your breath. You’ll probably need it to blow up your next date.
  17. It amuses me when I hear you talk about stuff you don’t understand.
  18. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really does work that’s for sure.
  19. I have seen people like you before, but I’ve always been charged for admission in the past.
  20. Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
  21. Don’t you know that it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid rather than open it, removing all doubt?
  22. I love what you’ve done with your hair. How did you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
  23. Meeting you has made me realise that there are some remarkably dumb people in this world.
  24. I just stepped in something that was smarter than you and it smelled better too.
  25. In Science class I learned the universe consists of neutrons, protons and electrons. The University of Life has taught me that it consists of morons too.
  26. If you’re waiting for me to care, then I hope you brought something to eat, because it’s going to be a long, long time.
  27. I’m trying my hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just can’t get my head that far up my ass.

More funny comebacks:

If you enjoyed this post then you’ll find another 37 funny comebacks if you just  CLICK HERE: It may be an earlier post but it’s just as funny I promise you dear reader.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these funny comebacks made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

21 sarcasm quotes that are the sharpest form of wit

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but I’m not so sure.

Personally I admire a clever put down or a few sharp words intended to put someone squarely in their place.

In today’s post I offer you 21 sarcasm quotes which are sharp. funny and they definitely made me smile. So I hope they provide you with some ammunition next time you need it.

Unfortunately despite my research, I haven’t been able to identify the originators of these clever lines, so they remain by authors unknown. Should you be able to point me in the direction of the original authors, then I would happy to add appropriate credits and links. So please, do let me know.

These are some the sharpest sarcasm quotes I’ve seen recently, so enjoy them all and make a mental note of the best ones for future use:- 

The sharpest form of wit:

  1. Me? Sarcastic? Never!
  2. Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
  3. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
  4. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  5. Stupidity is not a crime. So you’re free to go
  6. Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
  7. Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and you head up your ass at the same time?
  8. You never learn anything by doing it right.
  9. If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
  10. I’m returning your nose dear! I found it in my business.
  11. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
  12. From the moment I saw you I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
  13. If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
  14. I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.
  15. Am I free tomorrow? No, I’m expensive.
  16. The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
  17. Sarcasm is the body’s natural defence against stupidity.
  18. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
  19. I disagree but I respect your right to be stupid.
  20. I stopped listening, so why don’t you stop talking?
  21. Patience: What you have when there are far too many witnesses.

Enjoyed these sarcasm quotes?

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these sarcasm quotes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share them now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

30 dark sarcasm quotes you’ll love

Dark Sarcasm QuotesWhen you want to suggest a hint of menace then having a few dark sarcasm quotes up your sleeve is always useful. People need to know that they shouldn’t mess with you. Sarcasm is a powerful way of getting that message across.

So today I offer you 30 great dark sarcasm quotes and I hope they all entertain you.

Take a few minutes to enjoy them all. I did and I’m confident you will too.

Dark sarcasm quotes:

  1. Sarcastic? Me? Well, a little sardonic perhaps.
  2. Surely you must be on stupid pills?
  3. If I’m smiling that alone should scare you.
  4. I’ve had a wonderful evening but this wasn’t it.
  5. Zombies eat brains. So you’ll be quite safe.
  6. Well aren’t you a little ray of pitch-black.
  7. Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.
  8. Am I joking or am I psychotic? You don’t want to find out.
  9. I really need the one thing you can provide, your absence.
  10. If it looks like I don’t care, that’s because I really don’t.
  11. Am I free this afternoon? No, I’m very expensive.
  12. I don’t treat people badly. I treat people accordingly.
  13. If I cut you off then in all probability you handed me the scissors.
  14. You’re allowed to use your brain you know. It’s not illegal just yet.
  15. I’m a leader not a follower. Unless it’s dark, then you’re going first.
  16. Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  17. I feel like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there.
  18. If you can’t say something nice, at least make it clever and devastating.
  19. My level of sarcasm has reached the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
  20. I don’t like making plans in case they lead to the word ‘premeditated’ being thrown around in a courtroom.
  21. Don’t be a complete prick all your life. Take a few minutes off and give the rest of us a break.
  22. I’m sorry. While you were talking I was struggling to figure out why you think I care.
  23. My life’s been full of disappointments and you’ve just been added to the list.
  24. No, I can’t help you but I can offer you a sarcastic remark.
  25. When I said how stupid can you be it wasn’t meant to be a challenge.
  26. No, I wouldn’t say I’m the best in the world but I’m confident I’m in the Top 1.
  27. You should be careful if you don’t want to be offended. I can speak fluent sarcasm.
  28. It’s one of life’s mysteries but those who whine loudest tend to be those who’ve contributed least. Why is that?
  29. You think you’re street smart but I’m guessing that’s Sesame Street.
  30. Oh, you were talking to me? I’m sorry I thought there was something wrong with you.

Please share this post with your friends:

So did enjoy these dark sarcasm quotes dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

The 30 best bitchy comments that’ll really make you smile

Bitchy CommentsLadies, do you ever find yourself in need of some bitchy comments?

Gentlemen, do you have need for a quiver full of little arrows to pierce even the hardest heart?

Having the right comment to respond on those occasions when you need to put someone firmly in their place?

For those occasions when you need to send out a message that says, you mess with me at your peril.

Well here are 30 great bitchy comments, all of which really made me smile.

Bitchy Comments:

  1. You’re wearing that dress for a bet, surely?
  2. She’s not a drinker but she certainly likes a whine.
  3. I don’t need your drama. Go bother someone else.
  4. Hey, balls just called. They want you to grow a pair.
  5. I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you right now.
  6. I’m not responsible for what my face does when you talk.
  7. There are two things I dislike about you girl. Your face!
  8. Yes I am crazy and you’d be unwise to mess with crazy.
  9. Being opinionated is not the same as being informed dear.
  10. OMG! She’s really been bit with the ugly stick, hasn’t she?
  11. Nice dress! Where did you buy it, Dick’s Sporting Goods?
  12. I’ve met some pricks in my time but you’re the full cactus.
  13. I try to see the best in people but you certainly make it hard.
  14. You’re upset with me? So what! I don’t exist just to please you.
  15. I may have multiple personalities but none of them like you.
  16. Oh, there’s a new man in your life. Does he still have his own hair?
  17. If you want to lose weight girl, you could always shave your legs.
  18. What you think of me can’t be half as bad as my opinion of you.
  19. I’d say something complimentary about you but I’m not that dishonest.
  20. I don’t hate you but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
  21. You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think.
  22. I’m as nice as the next girl until life forces me to unleash the Bitch.
  23. You remind me of a penny. Two faced and not worth much.
  24. I’d beat you with a hammer but you’re not worth the jail time.
  25. You’re such a fake I’m guessing you were made in China.
  26. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your comprehension.
  27. Feel free to judge me when you’re perfect. Oh, that would be never then.
  28. No, I didn’t intend to offend you. That was just a bonus for which I’m grateful.
  29. Don’t hate me because I’m attractive. Hate me because my boobs are bigger than yours.
  30. Leave sarcasm to the professionals, sweetie. You’ll get hurt if you play with fire.

Bitchy CommentsPlease share this post:

Did you find these bitchy comments amusing, or even inspirational, dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If that’s the case then please share this post with your friends because when you share everyone wins.

So share it now on social media. If you can do that for me then I’d be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Similar articles you may enjoy:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

35 funny sarcasm memes you’ll just love

Funny Sarcasm Memes Funny Sarcasm MemesFunny Sarcasm MemesFunny Sarcasm MemesFunny Sarcasm Memes

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did these funny sarcasm memes make you smile?

I hope so. However there’s plenty more to amuse if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles just for you.

And if you’ve enjoyed today’s post then please share it with all your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.