5 Best funny jokes for adults that’ll make you laugh

BEST FUNNY JOKES FOR ADULTSIf you’re looking for the best funny jokes for adults, then here are five gems for you today.

I’m confident that you’ll enjoy them all.

Remember, laughter is the best medicine.

So, grab a coffee, relax, and take an unofficial break for a good laugh.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Best funny jokes for adults:

1. The atheist and the cowboy:

An atheist boards a flight from Dallas to New York and sits next to a dusty old cowboy.

As he’s taking his seat the atheist says to the cowboy, “Well, howdy. Would you like to talk? I find flights go quicker when you can have a conversation with a fellow passenger.

The old cowboy, puts down the inflight magazine he’d been reading and says, “What would you want to talk about, buddy?

Well,” says the atheist, with a smug smile, “we could talk about why there’s no God. How about we discuss why there’s no Heaven, no Hell, and no life after death?

The old cowboy smiles a knowing smile and then says, “Yeah, they might be interesting topics to discuss but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff. Grass, right? Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces clumps of manure. Now, why do you suppose that is?

The atheist is surprised by this question but he thinks momentarily and then in response he says, “Well, I really have no idea.”

The old cowboy smiles a wry smile and then replies, “So, why do you feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death when clearly you don’t know much?

2. The challenge:

Jeff was a teenage boy who’d just passed his driving test. Naturally, he was keen to start driving. So, he asked his dad if he could use the family car on Sundays when otherwise it was unused.

Well, Jeff,” said his dad, “I’d need you to bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut before I’d be willing to talk about you using the car.”

Jeff thought about it momentarily, realised it was the best offer he was likely to get, and so, he decided to accept his dad’s offer. And with that, they shook hands on it.

At the end of the semester, Jeff’s dad said, “Son, I’m pleased you’ve improved your grades, and your willingness to study the bible hasn’t gone unnoticed either, but I’m disappointed you still haven’t had your hair cut.”

Dad,” said Jeff, “I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed from my Bible study that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.

Dad smiled at Jeff and then said, “And did you also notice that they all had to walk everywhere they went?

3. The corny pun 1:

During colonial times, William Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, was one of Philadelphia’s most prominent citizens.

Penn had two maiden aunts who owned a bakery known far and wide for its fruit pies, which were reputed to be the best you could buy anywhere.

After many years of success, the two aunts had a serious falling out.

The falling out was so serious that they stopped speaking to one another altogether. Then one moved across the street and opened her own bakery, putting the two in competition.

It wasn’t long before there was a price war going on between them, with each aunt lowering her prices to undercut the other.

Eventually, it got so ridiculous that they were selling their products below cost.

By this time, the only topic of conversation in town was the pie rates of Penn’s aunts.

4. The corny pun 2:

Elmer and Buck are two hillbillies having lunch in Denny’s restaurant. They’re sitting at the counter, enjoying their food, and discussing their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman seated at a nearby table begins to cough, violently.

It seems the bite she’d taken from her club sandwich had gone down the wrong way.

She continues to cough violently for a minute or so, and she’s starting to get quite distressed.

Elmer walks over to the lady and says, “Mam, kin ya swallar?’

The woman shakes her head, suggesting she couldn’t, as she continued to struggle with her breathing.

“Mam, kin ya breathe?” Elmer continues.

Again, she indicates she can’t, as she begins to turn blue.

At this point Elmer, grabs the woman’s skirt, lifting it, before yanking down her underwear, and then he starts licking her right butt cheek with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, Elmer returns to the counter and, as he does so, Buck says to him, “Ya know, I’d herd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it, until now.”

5. The emergency landing:

Jack and Mabel are an elderly couple, flying to Hawaii for a vacation to celebrate their Golden Wedding anniversary.

They’re enjoying the inflight service when suddenly over the public address system, the captain makes an announcement.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have some unfortunate news to share with you. We’re having serious problems with all four engines, and we have no choice but to make an emergency landing. Luckily, there’s a remote island just ahead of us with a long, flat beach. We should be able to land the plane safely. However, we also have problems with our communications, so we won’t be able to summon help. So, we may never be rescued, and we may have to spend the rest of our lives on this island.

The pilot manages to land the plane safely and the passengers all exit the aircraft via the inflatable, evacuation slides.

They’re all wandering around the beach looking a little bewildered, when Mabel says to Jack, “Honey, what are we going to do?

Jack thinks momentarily and then says, “Mabel, did you manage to make the car lease payment this month?

No, sweetheart,” Mabel responds sheepishly, “I was so excited about our trip that I forgot.”.

Well,” Jack continues, “how about settling our credit card bill? Did you manage to do that before we left?

Oh no, I didn’t!” says Mabel, “and it was a big one this month with all the expense of this holiday.

Right, then” Jack continues, “did you manage to settle the medical bill for the hospital treatment I had last month?

No, sweetheart,” Mable responds, getting visibly upset, “again, I forgot.

Jack gives Mabel the biggest hug and then he says, “There’s absolutely nothing to worry about, dear. We owe money, so they’ll find us!

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And if you fancy some more laughs then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

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