15 Quotes by Betty White to inspire you

04/24/2026 by

Today I am exploring some quotes by Betty White.

The late Betty Marion White Ludden, known professionally as Betty White, was an American actor and comedian born in 1922.

She’s had the longest television career of any female entertainer.

Not only was she an actor, she was also one of the first women to have control both in front of and behind the camera, and she was recognized as the first woman to produce a sitcom.

She was probably best known for her roles in The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, and Hot in Cleveland.

However, she had a successful career spanning more than 75 years, and she received eight Emmy awards in various categories.

What made her interesting to me was her positive attitude.

Whenever you heard her speak or give advice, she was always positive, and that’s a quality I admire in people.

So here are 15 quotes by Betty White to illustrate my point.

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Quotes by Betty White (1-8)

I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot.

I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.

It’s your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don’t take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find humour in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.

I think it’s your mental attitude. So many of us start dreading age in high school, and that’s a waste of a lovely life. ‘Oh… I’m 30, oh, I’m 40, oh, 50.’ Make the most of it.

I have a two-story house and a bad memory, so I’m up and down those stairs all the time. That’s my exercise. 

The bottom line is, I’m blessed with good health. On top of that, I don’t go around thinking ‘Oh, I’m 90, I better do this or I better do that.’ I’m just Betty. I’m the same Betty that I’ve always been. Take it or leave it. 

Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way. 

Don’t try to be young. Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won’t live long enough to find out about, but I’m still curious about them. You know people who are already saying, ‘I’m going to be 30 – oh, what am I going to do?’ Well, use that decade! Use them all! 

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Quotes by Betty White (9-15)

I really don’t care with whom you sleep. I just care what kind of a decent human being you are. 

I’m having the time of my life and the fact that I’m still working – how lucky can you get? I’m 90 years old and still able to work as much as I do. That’s a privilege. 

I didn’t know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time. 

The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot. They know where you’re going before you even start. That’s a tough audience to surprise, and a tough audience to write for. It’s much more competitive now because the audience is so much more – I want to say ‘sophisticated.’ 

A lot of people think this is a goody-two-shoes talking. But we do have a tendency to complain rather than celebrate who we are. I learned at my mother’s knee it’s better to appreciate what’s happening. I think we kind of talk ourselves into the negative sometimes. 

Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do. 

If you’re walking with your lady on the sidewalk, I still like to see a man walking street-side, to protect the lady from traffic. I grew up with that, and I hate to see something like that get lost. I still like to see that a man opens the door. I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing. If I sound old-fashioned, it’s because I’m as old as I am! But it’s just polite. 

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You did? I hope so anyway.

If that is the case, then please share this post with your friends, because when you share, everyone wins.

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Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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37 powerful facts about politicians and politics

04/19/2026 by

If you’re looking for facts about politicians and politics, I have some original thinking I thought I’d share with you today.

These quotes reflect the way I see politicians and politics. I’ve learned to view them all with a critical eye.

I’ve been around long enough to know that politicians promise a great deal, but they rarely achieve anything that is of genuine benefit to ordinary people.

Let me say I’m referring to politicians from across the political spectrum.

In my lifetime, most political careers I remember have ended in failure, though the politicians themselves tend to get rich in the process. Have you ever met a poor politician?

Call me a cynic, but that’s the way I see it.

How about you? Do these quotes align with your point of view?

Look at these facts about politicians, as I see it, and decide for yourself whether I have a point.

If you do enjoy this post, please feel free to share it on social media.

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FACTS ABOUT POLITICIANS

The uncritical embrace of fashionable dogma by politicians is the folly of our times.

Politicians are people of personal ambition, not people of integrity. There are exceptions, but very few.

To understand political decisions, simply follow the money. Ask yourself, who benefits financially?

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. A fact that politicians would be wise to remember.

Politicians always promise jam tomorrow, but experience tells us tomorrow never comes.

Politicians see everything through the prism of their prejudices. They judge everything in terms of how it affects their best interests.

Political populism is a term used by establishment politicians to discredit those they fear might have considerable appeal to the voting public.

In modern politics, rhetoric prevails, and facts are ignored. Politicians are manipulating us all, aided and abetted by the mainstream media.

Politicians never accept responsibility for their mistakes. So, those mistakes never get addressed, the result of which is a society in decline.

To politicians, a troll on social media is anyone who promotes an alternative point of view.

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Politicians are all too often taken in by their own rhetoric. They’ve lost sight of the lives of ordinary people.

In politics, if symbolism takes precedence over delivery, then the outcome will only ever be a poor one and not in the best interests of the people.

Participate actively in politics or accept that you’ll be governed by people whose aim is to pursue an agenda that suits their interests and not yours.

Politicians think they can control the climate, but they can’t even control the economy or their borders.

Politics is showbiz for people who lack talent, looks, or an engaging personality. It’s a nice little earner without the need to offer much in return.

Politicians must recognize that saying is not doing, but only doing will ever change anything.

Politicians only ever give serious thought to the concerns of the people when there’s an election on the horizon and they need votes. However, once politicians have power, the concerns of the people are quickly forgotten.

Politicians cannot give unless first they take. The only money politicians have is taxpayers’ money. Even borrowing is simply a tax that will be paid by future generations.

Ultra-orthodox political correctness and the snitch culture it creates on campus are just modern forms of McCarthyism. It’s a step back into the dark age. It’s not progress.

The problem with ambitious politicians is that they are driven by self-interest and a burning desire to secure their place in history rather than the mundane task of improving the lives of those they supposedly represent.

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Politicians from across the political spectrum can always be relied upon to avoid answering questions. They’ll respond to questions but always with meaningless guff. They just offer hot air, with no substance.

When politicians seeking power say, “We have no plans to ……” what they mean is, “Given time, that’s exactly what we will do, but it wouldn’t be in our interests to admit that ahead of an election.”

Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful. Listen to politicians with a critical ear and never take anything at face value. Assume they cannot be trusted, and you won’t go far wrong.

Euphemism, ambiguity, and vagueness are the tools politicians use to conceal their real intentions and lull people into a false sense of security. You cannot trust politicians.

Expect little or nothing from politicians, and you won’t be disappointed. Despite their promises when they need your vote, no politician will ever do anything that will improve your life in any significant way. To believe otherwise would be naive.

The problem with modern politics is that we’ve replaced statesmen and women with career politicians. Leaders with vision, principle, and intellect have been replaced by second-rate box tickers.

Power resides in the hands of the powerful. People with considerable wealth and influence. If you think any of them are on your side, you’re naive at best. They’re on their side, and they aim to ensure they remain powerful. It’s a big club, and you’re not in it.

It is a fact that ideology is sustained through intolerance of dissent. Those who expect tolerance from others are the least tolerant themselves.

Playing clever political games is not the same as taking actions that will improve the lives of ordinary people. Politicians are good at games but have shown themselves to be hopeless at making a positive difference to ordinary people.

Politicians will always dismiss dissent in any way they can. They fear dissent, so they have a vested interest in suppressing it. However, silencing people is not the same as winning hearts and minds.

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Phil Sutton

When governments and ruling elites talk of controlling disinformation, what they mean is suppressing dissent. It’s all about slapping down the little people for having the temerity to question them.

No government can tax its way to prosperity. Tax is a disincentive to hard work and enterprise. A high-tax economy can only become a poor economy, regardless of anything politicians will say to the contrary.

Politicians like to bombard us with platitudes in the hope we’ll think they know what they’re doing. What you won’t hear is anything like a coherent strategy, because they don’t have one. They have no vision, nor do they know where they’re going. They’re simply doing the bidding of their puppet masters, whoever they may be.

Misinformation is unacceptable unless it comes from government-approved sources such as the mainstream media, in which case it’s fine. Politicians are happy to deceive and misinform if it suits their agenda.

Everyone should recognize that politicians have been bought and paid for. It would be naive to believe they’re on your side. They’re not. They’re on the side of their paymasters and puppeteers.

If politicians prioritize wealth redistribution over wealth creation, then it won’t be long before there’s nothing to redistribute. That’s Economics 101. Create a disincentive for enterprise and investment, and people won’t bother. Why take the risk if the reward will just go to someone else?

Political spin is just a form of misinformation. It’s used by politicians to deceive people and persuade them to accept something that’s either not true or would otherwise be unacceptable.

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10 memorable lines from the movies you’ll enjoy

04/17/2026 by

If you’re looking for some memorable lines from the movies, then you might just enjoy the ones I have for you today.

I love the movies and all the clever lines that are so memorable.

So I thought it would be a good idea to share 10 memorable lines from the movies with you.

I think these are some of the best lines of all time.

Enjoy them all. And please, feel free to pass them on.

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Phil Sutton

Memorable lines from the movies

I’ll Have What She’s Having. ~When Harry Met Sally (1989)

It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage. ~Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. ~Animal House (1978)

Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room! ~Dr Strangelove (1964)

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy. ~The First Wives Club (1996)

There’s only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other peoples’ cultures and the Dutch. ~Goldmember (2002)

I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. He made me feel like I was crazy all the time. One day he tells me it’s my fault he saw other women. So I picked up a knife and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him. Yeah, I did a little jail time, but it was worth it. ~Living Out Loud (1998)

There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? ~Airplane! (1980)

Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m a schizophrenic, and so am I. ~What About Bob? (1991)

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk? ~Dirty Harry (1971)

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And a bonus memorable line from television:

I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? ~Chandler Bing, Friends

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Were these some of the most memorable lines of all time?

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People do love the movies, so share this post now. When you share, everyone wins.

And if you could share this post, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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27 Quotes by Bob Marley to remind you of his talent

04/16/2026 by

Today I’ve curated some excellent quotes by Bob Marley.

The late Bob Marley was a Jamaican singer-songwriter who became an international musical and cultural icon. He is one of the greatest recording artists of all time.

His music blended mostly reggae, ska, and rocksteady rhythms into compositions with a very commercial sound and broad appeal.

However, beneath the commercial sound were lyrics with real bite. And that, in my opinion, is why his songs remain popular to this day.

To have risen from humble beginnings to have the international impact Bob Marley had, then you have to be someone very special, and he was, certainly in musical terms.

Here are 27 quotes by Bob Marley to remind you of what a talent the world has lost.

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Quotes by Bob Marley (1-10)

Money can’t buy life.

Tell the children the truth.

You have to be someone.

My future is righteousness.

Man is a universe within himself.

None but ourselves can free our minds.

In this bright future, you can’t forget your past.

Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny.

I don’t believe in death, neither in flesh nor in spirit.

If something can corrupt you, you’re corrupted already.

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Quotes by Bob Marley (11-20)

When one door is closed, don’t you know another is open?

The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.

Open your eyes and look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?

Don’t gain the world and lose your soul; wisdom is better than silver or gold.

I no have education. I have inspiration. If I was educated, I would be a damn fool.

What important is man should live in righteousness, in natural love for mankind.

Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, don’t give up the fight.

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

As a man sow, shall he reap. and I know that talk is cheap. But the heat of the battle is as sweet as the victory.

I don’t stand for the black man’s side, I don’ t stand for the white man’s side. I stand for God’s side.

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Quotes by Bob Marley (21-27)

God sent me on earth. He send me to do something, and nobody can stop me. If God want to stop me, then I stop. Man never can.

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.

Everything is political. I will never be a politician or even think political. Me just deal with life and nature. That is the greatest thing to me.

You entertain people who are satisfied. Hungry people can’t be entertained – or people who are afraid. You can’t entertain a man who has no food.

You not supposed to feel down over whatever happen to you. I mean, you’re supposed to use whatever happen to you as some type of upper, not a downer.

Me only have one ambition, y’know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together – black, white, Chinese, everyone – that’s all.

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!

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22 Funny Winston Churchill Quotes

04/07/2026 by

If you’re looking for some funny Winston Churchill quotes, then you’ve come to the right place, dear reader.

Today I’ve curated 22 little gems that might just make you smile.

Churchill was, of course, a British statesman and writer, a famous wartime leader, and twice Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Above all, he was a man with a memorable turn of phrase, whatever the occasion.

Anyway, take a few moments to enjoy all of these excellent quotes.

And then, please feel free to pass them on.

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Funny Winston Churchill Quotes (1-11):

  1. I am easily satisfied with the very best.
  2. Don’t interrupt me while I’m interrupting.
  3. History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
  4. I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
  5. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
  6. An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
  7. Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
  8. We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.
  9. A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.
  10. The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.
  11. Personally, I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.
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Funny Winston Churchill Quotes (12-22):

  1. I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
  2. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
  3. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
  4. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
  5. From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
  6. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
  7. Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
  8. Show me a young Conservative and I’ll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I’ll show you someone with no brains.
  9. If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time—a tremendous whack.
  10. Everyone is in favour of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people’s idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage.
  11. Lady Astor: “Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Winston Churchill: “Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”
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15 Powerful Quotes by Dr Joy Browne to inspire you

04/05/2026 by

For anyone unfamiliar with her work, the late Dr Joy Browne was an American psychologist and talk show host who specialized in on-air advice counselling.

She hosted a nationally syndicated call-in radio talk show for several decades, providing advice to callers and words of wisdom to her listeners.

Her shows achieved worldwide reach via podcasts and the Internet.

She had a legion of loyal fans who were devastated when sadly she passed away suddenly in August 2016.

Here are 15 quotes by Dr Joy Browne to illustrate why I believe she was an inspiration.

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Quotes by Dr Joy Browne:

  1. Stupid and cheerful beats smart but angry. ~Dr Joy Browne
  2. Friendship is a relationship between equals. ~Dr Joy Browne
  3. You can only help someone who wants to be helped. ~Dr Joy Browne
  4. If you’re going to have to deal with it sooner or later then sooner is better than later. ~Dr Joy Browne
  5. Appearing to be reasonable is usually more important than being reasonable. ~Dr Joy Browne
  6. Being in a relationship that makes you unhappy is a bad idea. ~Dr Joy Browne
  7. You don’t need a reason to divorce someone you can’t stand. ~Dr Joy Browne
  8. The person who cares least about the relationship controls it. ~Dr Joy Browne
  9. Our feelings are not our responsibility but our behaviour is. ~Dr Joy Browne
  10. If we give up the notion that everybody’s life is perfect but ours, we would be a lot happier. Nobody’s life is perfect. ~Dr Joy Browne
  11. The role of parents is not to do for our children but to teach our children to do for themselves. ~Dr Joy Browne
  12. Good parenting helps our kids to walk away from us and not to depend on us. ~Dr Joy Browne
  13. Kids have to make their own mistakes because anything we tell them, even if it’s right isn’t as valuable as what they learn from doing something, even if it’s wrong. ~Dr Joy Browne
  14. If someone is being difficult, what you do is walk away because either they need some time to sort it out, and you can’t do it for them, or they don’t. If they don’t, well you might as well leave with your dignity intact. You can’t make someone love you, you really can’t. ~Dr Joy Browne
  15. The only behaviour we can ever control in this life, as much as we can control anything, is our own. Not anyone else’s. ~Dr Joy Browne
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Dr Joy Browne with a Caller:

I hope you were inspired by at least some of these quotes, dear reader, and perhaps you’d like to explore some of her work further. An example of her on-air counselling is included here as an embedded YouTube video. This is well worth your time.

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If this YouTube example appeals to you, you can still listen to her podcasts at TuneIn.com. Just click on this link and explore the possibilities.

However, if you enjoyed the quotes but wish to go no further, then please just share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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15 powerful quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger

04/04/2026 by

If you’re looking for quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger, I have some good ones for you today.

For readers unfamiliar with her work, Dr Laura Schlessinger is an American talk radio host, commentator, and author.

Her radio show consists mainly of her responses to callers’ requests for personal advice.

Her presentation style is a no-nonsense, tough-love approach, which means to some people she can be seen as a little controversial.

Certainly, she’s a social conservative; even her website says that her show preaches, teaches, and nags about morals, values, and ethics.

Nevertheless, she has a loyal following; many people around the world listen to her via her podcasts and access her radio show via the Internet.

Here are 15 quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger, which I think accurately reflect her approach.

You can judge for yourself whether it’s an approach that would appeal to you, dear reader. However, I think these quotes are worth a few minutes of your time.

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QUOTES BY DR LAURA SCHLESSINGER

It doesn’t matter how we were raised. We become the person we choose to be.

There’s no battered woman alive who didn’t know in advance that the man was bad.

In the end analysis, all we have is who we are and the way we have lived our lives.

The people and circumstances around me do not make me what I am, they reveal who I am.

Because it’s possible to do and you have the right to do it, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

Don’t worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward.

A woman should always be more concerned with standing up for what is right than making sure everyone likes her.

We as human beings should wish to be loved and embraced for our character, respected and relied on for our courage, and trusted for our conscience.

The ultimate quality of your life is not in your resumé but in the minds and hearts of those you mean something to because you gave yourself to them.

You’ve touched people and known it. You’ve touched people and you may never know it. Either way, you have something to give. It’s in giving to one another that each of our lives becomes meaningful.

People with integrity do what they say they’re going to do. Others have excuses.

There are so many responsible, nice, kind guys out there. Why marry a fixer-upper?

Men are very easy to get along with; they just want to come home to something pleasant.

Self-esteem must be earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world, you will genuinely impress yourself.

Postponing happiness until all your ducks are in order means never because life is not that clean, fair, or predictable. It isn’t what happens to you that defines your life; it’s what you do with it that does.

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So go on, please share this post now. If you can do that for me, then I’d be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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15 quotes by Lily Tomlin that are sharp and witty

03/19/2026 by

If you’re looking for quotes by Lily Tomlin, this article is for you.

Lily Tomlin has to be one of the best comedians of all time, in my opinion.

Born Mary Jean Tomlin in 1939, I think she’s up there with the very best female comedians, like Joan Rivers and Phyllis Diller, and could give any of America’s funny men a serious run for their money, too.

She is, in fact, an actress, comedian, writer, singer, and producer and has had a successful career stretching back to the 1960s.

Here are 15 quotes by Lily Tomlin to underline my point.

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Quotes by Lily Tomlin:

  1. We are all in this together, by ourselves. ~Lily Tomlin
  2. The road to success is always under construction. ~Lily Tomlin
  3. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. ~Lily Tomlin
  4. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. ~Lily Tomlin
  5. I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. ~Lily Tomlin
  6. Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. ~Lily Tomlin
  7. Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest then we can all die laughing. ~Lily Tomlin
  8. Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. ~Lily Tomlin
  9. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~Lily Tomlin
  10. The best mind-altering drug is the truth. ~Lily Tomlin
  11. We’re all in this alone. ~Lily Tomlin
  12. I guess if people couldn’t profit from war, I don’t think there would be war. ~Lily Tomlin
  13. Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. ~Lily Tomlin
  14. When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime, and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store. ~Lily Tomlin
  15. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? ~Lily Tomlin
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You did? I hope so anyway.

If that’s the case, then please share them with your friends because when you share, everyone wins.

So share them now on social media. If you can do that for me, then I will be truly grateful. Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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25 Quotes by Zig Ziglar to inspire you

03/19/2026 by

Today, I thought exploring some quotes by Zig Ziglar would be interesting.

Hilary Hinton Ziglar, or Zig Ziglar as he was better known, was an American author, salesman, and motivational speaker.

As a motivational speaker, he had an almost evangelical style of delivery, which, for some people, was a little disconcerting. However, for those who could get beyond his delivery style, Zig Ziglar was a great motivational speaker, and he had plenty of genuine wisdom to offer. Well, I think so anyway.

Sadly, Zig Ziglar passed away in 2012, but we still have his words of wisdom to inspire us.

So take a moment to be inspired by some of these brilliant quotes by Zig Ziglar and please feel free to pass them on.

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Quotes by Zig Ziglar:

  1. Every choice you make has an end result.
  2. Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.
  3. If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.
  4. If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost. 
  5. Remember that failure is an event, not a person.
  6. Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand-new day. 
  7. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.
  8. The first step in solving a problem is to recognise that it does exist. 
  9. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
  10. When you catch a glimpse of your potential, that’s when passion is born.
  11. Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.
  12. Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.
  13. Outstanding people have one thing in common: An absolute sense of mission.
  14. Do more than you are being paid to do, and you’ll eventually be paid more for what you do. 
  15. You can have everything in life you want if you will just help other people get what they want. 
  16. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
  17. Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale.
  18. You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.
  19. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.
  20. If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.
  21. It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.
  22. Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining. It bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems. 
  23. With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt.
  24. You are who you are and what you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change who you are and what you are by changing what goes into your mind.
  25. When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life. Encouragement really does make a difference.
Phil Sutton

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30 sharp and funny quotes by George Carlin

03/16/2026 by

Today I thought it would be a good idea to look back at some funny quotes by George Carlin.

The late George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, philosopher, author, and social critic. He’s probably best known for his sardonic, irreverent wit and his reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various other taboo subjects.

Sadly, George Carlin died on June 28, 2008, in Santa Monica, CA. He was 71 years old.

I loved his irreverent wit, and I thought he was a funny man.

If you’re unfamiliar with his work, then it’s worth checking out some of the many videos of his performances that you’ll find on YouTube.

Here are 30 funny quotes by George Carlin that I’m confident will get you thinking about life, the universe, and everything.

Enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

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Funny quotes by George Carlin

I think I am, therefore, I am … I think.

It’s never just a game when you’re winning.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like.

The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

‘Bipartisan’ usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.

Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.

I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

If the Black Box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.

I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that out by myself in the third grade.

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, and men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ’27 months.’ ‘He’s 2’ will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.

Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you, and he needs money.

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Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find these funny quotes by George Carlin interesting, dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If you did enjoy them, please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you can do that for me, I’ll be ever so grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that’ll be your good deed for the day, which makes it a win-win.

Thank you.

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