15 Quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche to inspire you

15 Quotes by Friedrich NietzscheFriedrich Nietzsche was a German philosopher, cultural critic, composer, poet, philologist and scholar whose work has exerted significant influence on Western philosophy and cultural thinking.

Here are 15 quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche which made me pause to reflect and they will make you think a little too I suspect.

Quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche:

  1. Everything matters. Nothing’s important. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  2. Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  3. Call me whatever you like; I am who I must be. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  4. Loneliness is one thing, solitude another. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  5. You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way and the only way, it does not exist. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  6. Without music, life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  7. It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  8. The real question is, how much truth can I stand? ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  9. There are two different types of people in the world, those who want to know and those who want to believe. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  10. In heaven, all the interesting people are missing. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  11. Do you want to have an easy life? Then always stay with the herd and lose yourself in the herd. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  12. And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  13. The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  14. There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  15. I’m not upset that you lied to me. I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

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7 inspirational quotes about marriage

7 inspirational quotes about marriageMarriage can be a thorny subject for some and a source of great pleasure for others. If a successful marriage is your aim then you’ll need to master the art of compromise, as well as choosing a life partner for whom you have the greatest respect and whose company you enjoy.

Friendship is at the heart of any successful marriage and friendship is a relationship of equals.

That means the power dynamic in your relationship must be balanced. Both parties must feel that their needs are being met.

You’re a team and as with all teams, each of you has a role to play. One person cannot be expected to bear the burden of doing everything whilst the other person does nothing. That’s not fair, nor is it sustainable.

A successful marriage can be your greatest investment. Choose your partner wisely and a successful relationship can be yours; fail to choose carefully and it could prove to be painful for all concerned.

So today I offer you seven inspirational quotes about marriage to help you reflect on what is one of life’s great institutions.

Remember this; choose well and nurture your relationship and it can last a lifetime.

Find the right partner and you’ll appreciate their presence in your life with each passing year and much more so as you get older.

Inspirational quotes about marriage:

  1. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ~Socrates
  2. Happy is the man who finds a true friend and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. ~Franz Schubert
  3. It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  4. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. ~Winston Churchill
  5. Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. ~James Dobson
  6. The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time. ~Julia Child
  7. Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be goodwill lasts very long. ~Amy Grant

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15 Quotes by Moms Mabley that are worth sharing

15 Quotes by Moms MableyI must confess that I was not familiar with the work of African American comedienne Jackie “Moms” Mabley until relatively recently.

However, I stumbled on her work by accident on YouTube and I was intrigued by her. So naturally, I went in search of some information about her, as well as some quotes by Moms Mabley.

Born Loretta Mary Aiken, she adopted the stage name Moms Mabley and she was a veteran of the Chitlin’ Circuit of African-American vaudeville.

She also appeared on legendary American television shows such as The Ed Sullivan Show and The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. In fact, she’s also one of the earliest examples of women in comedy.

Born in 1894, Moms Mabley was one of 16 children and like most African Americans of her day, particularly women, she’d had a tough early life.

At the encouragement of her grandmother, she ran away and joined a travelling minstrel show where she sang and entertained. Her stage persona was that of an older, dishevelled woman.

Certainly, she was a woman on whom life had left its mark. For instance, by age of 14, she had been raped twice (at age 11, by an elderly black man, and age 13, by a white sheriff) and had two children who were given up for adoption.

At the age of 27, she came out as a lesbian becoming one of the first openly gay comedians. That wouldn’t have been easy in the less enlightened age in which she lived and tried to earn a living.

So if you’re not familiar with Moms Mabley, I recommend you take a closer look at her work, but not before you read these 15 quotes by Moms Mabley.

Quotes by Moms Mabley:

  1. Quit it if you can’t do nothin’ with it. ~Moms Mabley
  2. Use those brains that God put in your head. ~Moms Mabley
  3. It’s no disgrace to be old but damn if it isn’t inconvenient. ~Moms Mabley
  4. [On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it. ~Moms Mabley
  5. [Advice to children crossing the street] Damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain’t never killed nobody. ~Moms Mabley
  6. You know Moms has been accused of liking young men and I’m guilty. ~Moms Mabley
  7. Any time you see me with my arms around an old man, I’m holding him for the police. ~Moms Mabley
  8. My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick. ~Moms Mabley
  9. Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move. ~Moms Mabley
  10. Ain’t nothin’ an ol’ man can do but bring me a message from a young one. ~Moms Mabley
  11. I don’t want nothing old, but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That’s what I’m gonna do with it. ~Moms Mabley
  12. The teenagers aren’t all bad. I love ’em if nobody else does. There ain’t nothing wrong with young people. Jus’ quit lyin’ to ’em. ~Moms Mabley
  13. Never lose your head, not even for a minute. You need your head. Your brain’s in it. ~Moms Mabley
  14. Without that basic foundation in showmanship, an act can’t remain at the top. Half of the children nowadays don’t even know how to take a bow. ~Moms Mabley
  15. Black women, white women; all of them. I’m colorblind. I don’t know the difference. I only know you’re a human being and you’re my children. ~Moms Mabley

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7 inspirational quotes about happiness

7 quotes about happinessIf I were to conduct a survey of readers on the question of happiness, I’m fairly sure that most people would say that whilst they want to be happy, they have yet to achieve that state of mind consistently.

Why is that do you think?

I think it’s because we’re always chasing what we haven’t got.

Being happy requires us to be content with what we have got. If we’re always chasing more, then by definition we can’t be content with what we’ve got, can we?

So if you want to be happy, then I think the trick is to learn to enjoy whatever it is that you’ve actually got, rather than fretting about those things that you’d like to possess but you don’t right now.

Take pleasure in the moment, whenever you can, and always look for the positives in any situation.

Happiness is a state of mind. You can choose to be happy or not.

It’s all down to the way you choose to look at the world.

You can allow things to bother you or you can say, “I’m not going to worry about stuff I can’t change, I’ll just focus on enjoying my life for what it is and make the best of it.”

Here are 7 inspirational quotes about happiness to help you think about what it all means.

Quotes about happiness:

  1. I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself in. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. ~Martha Washington
  2. It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere. ~Agnes Repplier
  3. Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama
  4. Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to hunt for happiness. ~William E. Gladstone
  5. Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. ~Denis Waitley
  6. There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of our will. ~Epictetus
  7. Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. ~Jim Rohn

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15 Quotes by Jay Leno that are quite amusing

Quotes by Jay LenoFunnyman Jay Leno is one of American television’s biggest personalities and he is recognised as a major star around the world.

Born James Douglas Muir Leno in New Rochelle, New York, he’s a comedian, actor, writer and producer, as well as a television host best known for his years hosting The Tonight Show with Jay Leno from 1992–2009.

Quick with a joke or a funny quip he always made me smile. So today I thought I’d explore some of his wit and wisdom.

And let’s face it wisdom is always at the heart of every witty quote.

So here are 15 quotes by Jay Leno to brighten your day.

Quotes by Jay Leno:

  1. Politics is just show business for ugly people. ~Jay Leno
  2. You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you. ~Jay Leno
  3. You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. ~Jay Leno
  4. Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? ~Jay Leno
  5. I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you’re not the best, so you should work a little harder. ~Jay Leno
  6. The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. ~Jay Leno
  7. People don’t mind if you have a lot of money if they know you’re working for it. ~Jay Leno
  8. New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot unless of course, those tests come back positive. ~Jay Leno
  9. If I have one advantage, it’s that I will try to work harder than the next guy. ~Jay Leno
  10. The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. ~Jay Leno
  11. In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we’re doing anonymously. ~Jay Leno
  12. If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno
  13. For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn’t that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you’re average – hey, let’s get a pizza! ~Jay Leno
  14. Magic Johnson, a former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good ‘ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers. ~Jay Leno
  15. Nineteen per cent of doctors say that they’d be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments. ~Jay Leno

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15 Quotes by Bob Newhart reflecting his personal philosophy

Quotes by Bob NewhartThere are many fine comedians in this world and many of the finest are American. And for me at least, one of the funniest American comedians of all time is Bob Newhart. He’s certainly made me laugh out loud, many times.

Many years ago I was fortunate enough to stumble upon his audio recording the Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart and from that moment on I was absolutely hooked.

This album was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

Imagine my situation, I’m sitting in my car waiting for the traffic lights to turn green. Suddenly on my car radio, they play the Tobacco sketch from that album. It was so funny it had me laughing so much that people around me were starting to stare at me as if I’d gone mad. It really was that funny.

If you’re unfamiliar with Bob Newhart’s work then I recommend you check him out. And a good place to start would be Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart. It’s still available on Amazon.

However before you check it out, here are 15 quotes by Bob Newhart, some of which reflect his humor, some reflect his sense of the absurd and some are just thought-provoking.

Quotes by Bob Newhart:

  1. The only way to survive is to have a sense of humor. ~Bob Newhart
  2. Don’t be silly and don’t waste your time. ~Bob Newhart
  3. Don’t live in the past. There’s no point. You can’t change anything. What a waste of time. ~Bob Newhart
  4. I don’t like country music but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’. ~Bob Newhart
  5. People are meant to be in certain places, and I think I’m meant to be on a sound stage doing situation comedy. ~Bob Newhart
  6. The best advice I was probably given and the best advice I could give someone who is trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills. ~Bob Newhart
  7. Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life. ~Bob Newhart
  8. I don’t know how doctors pick one speciality over another. Some you can understand. Paediatricians or gynaecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology? ~Bob Newhart
  9. With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attaches to the cell phone itself, it’s getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. ~Bob Newhart
  10. I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage. ~Bob Newhart
  11. All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world. ~Bob Newhart
  12. Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. ~Bob Newhart
  13. Probably the best advice I ever got in my life was from the head of the accounting department, Mr. Hutchinson, at the Glidden Company in Chicago, and he told me, ‘You really aren’t cut out for accounting.’ ~Bob Newhart
  14. I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn’t work, then I knew it didn’t work. Then I would go back and do whatever. But at least I wouldn’t torture myself the rest of my life, wondering whatever would have happened. ~Bob Newhart
  15. All I can say about life is, ‘Oh God, enjoy it!’ ~Bob Newhart

If you’re not familiar with Bob Newhart’s work then I  can strongly recommend you listen to the Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart. I can also recommend The Button-Down Mind Strikes Back!

These audio recordings are both funny and well worth your time. Well worth buying your own copies too. I think so anyway.

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21 thought-provoking quotes about losing a loved one

21 Quotes About Losing a Loved OneWhen you lose a loved one, it’s one of the toughest things to deal with in life.

Suddenly you have someone so dear wrenched from your life and you know you will never see or speak to them again. It’s very hard.

What you’d give to sit with them one more time and tell them how much they meant to you.

If only you could have a laugh with them once again and share a drink or a meal.

How you’d love to talk with them about happy times and the absurd things in life that drive you nuts. To share your troubles with that special person who was always there with a supportive ear.

If you’ve yet to lose a loved one you cannot appreciate how it feels.

However, readers who’ve experienced such loss will know exactly what I mean.

And one day, every reader will know how it feels. For loss touches us all at some point in our lives.

Here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about losing a loved one to help you reflect on life’s greatest challenge.

If you’ve lost a loved one then remember this; if you close your eyes and think of them then they’ll always be there in your mind’s eye.

Their physical presence may not be with you anymore but their spirit will live on and their memory will be forever in your heart.

For as long as you remember them they can never be truly gone.

Quotes about losing a loved one:

  1. A man is not dead while his name is still spoken. ~Terry Pratchett
  2. Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream. ~Euripides
  3. Death is never easy when you know the people doing the dying. ~Oliver North
  4. If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it. ~Lemony Snicket
  5. Say not in grief he is no more, but live in thankfulness that he was. ~Hebrew Proverb
  6. Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. ~Anne Roiphe
  7. My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping but I shall go on living. ~Pablo Neruda
  8. Lucky is the spouse who dies first, who never has to know what survivors endure. ~Sue Grafton
  9. You don’t know how easy death is. It’s like a door. A person simply walks through it, and she’s lost to you forever. ~Eloisa James
  10. It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, and a day to love them, but it takes an entire lifetime to forget them. ~Author Unknown
  11. The song has ended but the melody lingers on. ~Irving Berlin
  12. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again. ~Author Unknown
  13. But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of going in to every fight with backup, you are going into every fight alone. ~Mitch Albom
  14. Losing people you love affects you. It is buried inside of you and becomes this big, deep hole of ache. It doesn’t magically go away, even when you stop officially mourning. ~Carrie Jones
  15. The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you’re faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking. ~James Patterson
  16. We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world; the company of those who have known suffering. ~Helen Keller
  17. It is the capacity to feel consuming grief and pain and despair that also allows me to embrace love and joy and beauty with my whole heart. I must let it all in. ~Anna White
  18. The few certainties in our existence are pain, death, and bereavement. ~Jane Wilson-Howarth
  19. I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss. ~Rita Mae Brown
  20. We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there. ~Harold Kushner
  21. I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought, and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. ~Leo Buscaglia

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15 positive quotes by exceptional people to lift your spirits

15 positive quotesLooking for some positive quotes, dear reader? Well, I hope so because today I’ve put together some really interesting quotes from some exceptional people.

The wisdom of successful people is always worth a little bit of your time. Listen to them and you can learn a lot. They’ve been there and they’ve achieved great things, so they must know something, surely?

If you want my advice, always listen to successful people.

So, take a minute or two to reflect on these positive quotes.

Positive Quotes:

  1. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. ~Colin Powell
  2. Positive anything is better than negative nothing. ~Elbert Hubbard
  3. Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. ~Khalil Gibran
  4. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help you create the fact. ~William James
  5. Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  6. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results. ~Willie Nelson
  7. Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you. ~Les Brown
  8. If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes. ~John Wooden
  9. I believe that you should gravitate to people who are doing productive and positive things with their lives. ~Nadia Comaneci
  10. The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great in whatever they want to do. ~Kobe Bryant
  11. I like to encourage people to realize that any action is a good action if it’s proactive and there is positive intent behind it. ~Michael J. Fox
  12. You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, and forgot. It’s all there. Everything influences each of us. ~Maya Angelou
  13. You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable. ~Deepak Chopra
  14. You’re going to go through tough times. That’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events. ~Joel Osteen
  15. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. ~Christopher McCandless

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15 classic Elaine Benes quotes that’ll raise a smile or two

Elaine Benes QuotesStaying with my recent theme of memorable sitcom characters, today I thought it would be entertaining to take a look back at some classic Elaine Benes quotes.

Who can forget this brilliant character, played by the hugely talented Julia Louis-Dreyfus, from the American sitcom Seinfeld?

Elaine was a woman holding her own in a man’s world. She was smart, funny and she brought a little sparkle to the show. However, like all memorable sitcom characters, she was essentially a little flawed too, as you’ll appreciate from the quotes today.

If you love Seinfeld, I’m sure you will be a fan of Elaine Benes.

However, if you’re not old enough to remember the sitcom Seinfeld and Elaine Benes, in particular, then you’ll find plenty of amusing clips from this sitcom, and featuring the character Elaine Benes, on YouTube.

They’re all brilliant and definitely well worth a little bit of your time.

So check them out but not before you’ve enjoyed these 15 classic Elaine Benes quotes, which I’m confident will raise a smile or two, and will probably resonate with many female readers too, I’m sure.

Elaine Benes Quotes:

  1. I’m not a lesbian! I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian. ~ Elaine Benes
  2. We just tease someone ’til they develop an eating disorder. ~ Elaine Benes
  3. I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people. ~ Elaine Benes
  4. Well, that’s the positive thing about getting sick, you get to lose weight. ~ Elaine Benes
  5. I think this is the same one I gave him. He recycled this gift. He’s a re-gifter! ~ Elaine Benes
  6. You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn’t necessarily make you a homosexual. ~ Elaine Benes
  7. I can’t do this anymore, it’s too long! Just tell your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! Die! ~ Elaine Benes
  8. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t break up nicely. I mean, to me, that’s one of the most important parts of a relationship. ~ Elaine Benes
  9. You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off. ~ Elaine Benes
  10. I mean the problem is that the good ones know they’re good. And they know they’re in such demand they’re just not interested in confining themselves to one person. ~ Elaine Benes
  11. That’s the bra I gave her, she’s wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She’s a menace to society. ~ Elaine Benes
  12. Kramer, you don’t understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand. ~ Elaine Benes
  13. You know your whole life you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple and then BOOM, suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it. ~ Elaine Benes
  14. Yeah, since she met him she’s been vomited on, her family cabin’s been burned down, she learned her father’s a homosexual, and she got fired from a high-paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going. ~ Elaine Benes
  15. This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, here’s the one thing you’ve gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it’s over. I mean, something happens to their personality; it’s really quite astounding. It’s like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there. ~ Elaine Benes

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50 Funny footballer quotes for soccer fans everywhere

Funny Football QuotesFootball or soccer? The beautiful game is well known by both names around the world. And wherever you go, players can say some silly things at times. So I thought it might be interesting to curate some funny footballer quotes, or if you prefer, funny soccer quotes.

Whether you prefer to call it football or soccer, one thing is true and that’s the players and people associated with the game can say some of the funniest things at times.

Over the years, players, managers, coaches, commentators and pundits have all come up with some memorable quotes and one-liners, some intentional, others inadvertent. Either way, they’re always amusing.

Enjoy them all and then please pass them on.

Funny footballer quotes (1 – 25):

  1. I love these players with two feet. ~Michael Owen
  2. They were numerically outnumbered. ~Garry Birtles
  3. He’s got a lot of self-belief in himself. ~Graham Beecroft
  4. To play Holland you have to play the Dutch. ~Ruud Gullit
  5. I’ve been consistent in patches this season. ~Theo Walcott
  6. Apparently, it’s my fault that the Titanic sank. ~Ian Holloway
  7. I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. ~Stuart Pearce
  8. And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0. ~Ian Darke
  9. I’d like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona. ~Mark Draper
  10. Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win. ~Vinny Jones
  11. Reading won’t have the confidence to be confident. ~Paul Merson
  12. When you’re 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1. ~Lawrie McMenemy
  13. That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post. ~Michael Owen
  14. Some people cannot see a priest on a mountain of sugar. ~Rafa Benitez
  15. If there’s a bit of rain about it makes the surface wet. ~ Michael Owen
  16. Wilkins sends an inch-perfect pass to no one in particular. ~Byron Butler
  17. I couldn’t settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country. ~Ian Rush
  18. The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23. ~Kevin Keegan
  19. If we played like this every week we wouldn’t be so inconsistent. ~Bryan Robson
  20. Chile have three options. They could win or they could lose. ~Kevin Keegan
  21. That is a fantastic penalty, but he will be gutted it went wide. ~Michael Owen
  22. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I wasn’t on that particular job. ~Brian Clough
  23. If Rojo wasn’t left-footed he’d have used his right for that one. ~Michael Owen
  24. Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you’re 80-20 sure of winning it. ~Ian Darke
  25. Oh, he had an eternity to play that ball, but he took too long about it. ~Martin Tyler

Funny footballer quotes (26 – 50):

  1. Blackburn have got two strikers on and they’re both playing upfront. ~Michael Owen
  2. We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought. ~Sir Bobby Robson
  3. For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip. ~John Motson
  4. Diego Maradona – a flawed genius, who has now become a genius who is flawed. ~Bob Wilson
  5. They’re the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that. ~Kevin Keegan
  6. We must have had 99 per cent of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match. ~Ruud Gullit
  7. If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he’s have put grass up there. ~Brian Clough
  8. I know what’s around the corner. I just don’t know where the corner is. ~Kevin Keegan
  9. I’m out at the moment, but should you be the chairman of Barcelona, AC Milan or Real Madrid, I’ll get straight back to you. The rest can wait. ~Joe Kinnear
  10. I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the world. But I was in the top one. ~Brian Clough
  11. I never comment on referees, and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat. ~Ron Atkinson
  12. It’s definitely hit Defoe’s hand as it’s gone in, but it’s not a handball for me. ~Michael Owen
  13. What a shot, that’s completely unstoppable but the keepers got to do better for me. ~Michael Owen
  14. I’ve had 14 bookings this season, eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable. ~Paul Gascoigne
  15. If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won’t lay any eggs in the basket. ~Sir Bobby Robson
  16. I’d been ill and hardly trained for a week and I’d been out of the team for three weeks before that. So I wasn’t sharp. I got cramp before half-time as well. But I’m not one to make excuses. ~Clinton Morrison
  17. Djimi Traore had to adapt to the English game, and he did that by going out on loan to Lens last season. ~ Ian Rush
  18. I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. ~George Best
  19. My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven. ~David Beckham
  20. Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match. ~Ian Wright
  21. What will you do when you leave football, Jack? Will you stay in football? ~Stuart Hall
  22. I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock. ~Barry Venison
  23. I am a firm believer that, if you score one goal, the other team have to score two to win. ~Howard Wilkinson
  24. If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. ~Terry Venables
  25. I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet. ~David Beckham

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