15 quotes by Lily Tomlin that are sharp and witty

Quotes by Lily TomlinOne of the greatest American comic personalities has to be Lily Tomlin in my opinion.

Born Mary Jean Tomlin in 1939, I think she’s up there with the very best female comedians like Joan Rivers and Phyllis Diller and could give any of America’s funny men a serious run for their money too.

She is in fact an actress, comedian, writer, singer and producer and has had a successful career stretching back to the 1960s.

Here are 15 quotes by Lily Tomlin to underline my point.

Quotes by Lily Tomlin:

  1. We are all in this together, by ourselves. ~Lily Tomlin
  2. The road to success is always under construction. ~Lily Tomlin
  3. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. ~Lily Tomlin
  4. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. ~Lily Tomlin
  5. I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. ~Lily Tomlin
  6. Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. ~Lily Tomlin
  7. Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest then we can all die laughing. ~Lily Tomlin
  8. Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. ~Lily Tomlin
  9. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~Lily Tomlin
  10. The best mind-altering drug is the truth. ~Lily Tomlin
  11. We’re all in this alone. ~Lily Tomlin
  12. I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war. ~Lily Tomlin
  13. Ninety-eight per cent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two per cent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. ~Lily Tomlin
  14. When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime, and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store. ~Lily Tomlin
  15. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? ~Lily Tomlin

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15 Quotes by Penny Marshall to inspire you

Penny MarshallThe late film director, producer and actress Penny Marshall was a great talent and I’m sure she’s missed by all who knew her well.

Penny Marshall rose to fame in the 1970s with her role in the hit US television sitcom Laverne & Shirley.

Playing the role of Laverne DeFazio, she was funny and she created a character that has proved to be one of the standout comedy characters from the golden age of situation comedy.

If you’re not familiar with the sitcom Laverne & Shirley then there are plenty of clips available on YouTube to give you an idea of how good it was back in the day.

You might also find this ABC News tribute to Penny Marshall well worth a couple of minutes of your time:-

In recent years there has been an improvement in the availability of opportunities for women, particularly in show-business. And of course, that’s how it should be.

However, we have to admire those strong and talented women from previous generations who managed to succeed at their chosen profession, despite a system that was rigged against them. And in Penny Marshall women had a great role model.

She managed to become a successful director of films, an area of entertainment which is still heavily dominated by men to this day.

She was clearly a very smart lady. So here are 15 quotes by Penny Marshall which reflect her personal philosophy.

Quotes by Penny Marshall:

  1. I think everyone’s mother is slightly nuts. ~Penny Marshall
  2. My family is well and that’s what’s important. ~Penny Marshall
  3. I want you to laugh and cry. That’s what I do. ~Penny Marshall
  4. I wasn’t like a girly girl. I was a tomboy. ~Penny Marshall
  5. If you’re not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life. ~Penny Marshall
  6. I have a strange combination of fearlessness and massive insecurity. ~Penny Marshall
  7. In my opinion, life’s more important than show business. ~Penny Marshall
  8. When I’m working, I’m obsessively working. ~Penny Marshall
  9. I do feel it’s important to entertain people. I try to. ~Penny Marshall
  10. The truth is that I’m not a frump. I just enjoy being laid back. ~Penny Marshall
  11. I would much rather feel comfortable and feel beautiful than to feel uncomfortable, but look fantastic. ~Penny Marshall
  12. Once I commit to something, I complete it. If I say ‘No,’ I mean ‘No.’ I just have to learn how to say ‘No’ more. ~Penny Marshall
  13. I’ll try anything. What are they gonna do, kick me out of show business? ~Penny Marshall
  14. Movie stars are insecure like everyone else. That’s why they go into acting! ~Penny Marshall
  15. Look at YouTube, how many talented people there are. It’s a whole new world of how to express yourself. I don’t know how to work that world, but take advantage of it. ~Penny Marshall

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7 great stay focused quotes to help you pursue success

Stay Focused QuotesIf you don’t know exactly what you want then you’ll never get it. That much is philosophically self-evident to you I am sure dear reader. However, how can you know what you want?

Well if necessary keep trying stuff until you find something you really enjoy and at which you excel.

And once you’ve found something you love, stay focused on it and take it as far as you can possibly go.

That’s the way to achieve real success.

Here are 7 great stay focused quotes to help you on your way.

Stay focused quotes:

  1. Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals. ~LL Cool J
  2. Know what you want and focus on how you’ll get it. And never, ever give up. ~Roy Sutton
  3. Courage is like a muscle; it is strengthened by use. ~Ruth Gordon
  4. Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. ~Author Unknown
  5. Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. ~Albert Einstein
  6. Aim higher; stay focused. ~Brandon Adams
  7. I always want to stay focused on who I am, even as I’m discovering who I am. ~Alicia Keys

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15 Quotes by George Orwell guaranteed to make you think

Quotes by George OrwellGeorge Orwell was the pen name of the late author Eric Arthur Blair.

As George Orwell he was and he still is widely respected as a novelist, essayist, journalist and critic.

In fact he was arguably one of the great thinkers of the twentieth century, certainly in the English-speaking world.

George Orwell’s best-known novels Animal Farm and 1984 are still essential reading for anyone with aspirations for being well-read.

So here are 15 quotes by George Orwell that are I think guaranteed to make you think dear reader.

Quotes by George Orwell:

  1. Big Brother is watching you. ~George Orwell
  2. At fifty everyone has the face he deserves. ~George Orwell
  3. No one can look back on his schooldays and say with truth that they were altogether unhappy. ~George Orwell
  4. If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. ~George Orwell
  5. In our age there is no such thing as keeping out of politics. All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia. ~George Orwell
  6. Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. ~George Orwell
  7. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. ~George Orwell
  8. Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. ~George Orwell
  9. People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. ~George Orwell
  10. But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. ~George Orwell
  11. So much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don’t even know that fire is hot. ~George Orwell
  12. All the war propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting. ~George Orwell
  13. Society has always to demand a little more from human beings than it will get in practice. ~George Orwell
  14. Early in life, I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper. ~George Orwell
  15. Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting. ~George Orwell

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3 very funny jokes to get you smiling a little

Very funny jokesLaughter is a great way to give yourself a boost. So today I offer you 3 very funny jokes to get you smiling, hopefully just a little. Enjoy them all.

1. Store policy:

The store manager overheard her sales assistant saying to an elderly customer, “No mam, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.

Alarmed by what she’d heard, the store manager rushed over to the elderly lady as she was leaving the store and said, “Mam, I am so sorry, the information you were given was incorrect. We will actually have some very soon. We’ve placed an order today.

The elderly lady gave the store manager a slightly puzzled look, but then just smiled and left the store.

The store manager then walked back over to her sales assistant and said very sternly, “You must never say that we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we have it on order and we expect it any day. Do you understand me?

Yes, mam!” responded the sales assistant.

So what was it the old lady was asking for?” enquired the store manager.

Rain”, responded her sales assistant.

Very Funny Jokes2. Bad news:

Dan went to his physician for his annual check-up.

However, he was shocked when his doctor said to him, “I’m afraid you’ve only got three weeks to live.

Are you sure?” said Dan, “I feel fine. Isn’t there anything that can be done?”

“Well” said his doctor, “you could try taking a mud bath each day.”

“Will that cure me?” asked Dan.

“No, but it’ll get you used to the dirt”, responded the physician.

3. Embarrassing situations:

By nature, Jason was very intelligent but a bit shy. One day he went into a bar and he saw a stunningly attractive woman sitting alone at a table drinking a white-wine spritzer.

Jason couldn’t take his eyes of this woman and eventually he plucked up the courage to walk across and speak to her.

Hello, I’m Jason. Would you mind if I sat with you and chatted for a while?” asked Jason quietly but politely.

The woman responded by yelling at the top of her voice, “No! I will not sleep with you tonight!

Jason blushed, beetroot red with embarrassment and everyone in the bar looked over to see what was going on.

So he walked back over to the counter where he’d been sitting, reflecting on how he might have handled the situation and intending to leave the bar as soon as he’d finished his drink.

However, a couple of minutes later the attractive woman walked over to him and apologised.

I’m really sorry”, she said. “I’m actually a PhD student at Harvard and I’m doing research on how people respond in embarrassing situations.

To which Jason responded, yelling loudly at the top of his voice, “What do you mean you charge three hundred dollars minimum?

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15 inspirational quotes by Martin Luther King Jr

Quotes by Martin Luther King JrSynonymous with the civil rights movement in the United States, the late Martin Luther King Jr was its most visible spokesperson and leader.

He was one of the most influential figures of all time, I would argue, and his dignity and philosophy are all the more impressive given the unjust treatment people like him experienced at that time, and often still do.

Here are 15 quotes by Martin Luther King Jr which are guaranteed to make you think. Certainly they made me think. 

Quotes by Martin Luther King Jr:

  1. I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  2. He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  3. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  4. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  5. Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  6. You know, a lot of people don’t love themselves. And they go through life with deep and haunting emotional conflicts. So the length of life means that you must love yourself. And you know what loving yourself also means? It means that you’ve got to accept yourself. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  7. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  8. The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  9. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  10. Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  11. Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  12. That old law about ‘an eye for an eye’ leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  13. One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  14. There is nothing more majestic than the determined courage of individuals willing to suffer and sacrifice for their freedom and dignity. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  15. I came to the conclusion that there is an existential moment in your life when you must decide to speak for yourself; nobody else can speak for you. ~Martin Luther King Jr

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5 short inspirational quotes that’ll really make you think

Short-Inspirational-QuotesToday I offer you 5 short inspirational quotes which I’m confident will get you thinking about your life and what you want out of it.

Short inspirational quotes:

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

On days when I don’t work, I am working on maintaining my image, just like an athlete. ~Linda Evangelista

I would perceive three years at university as a waste of time. I would have made £200,000 by then. ~Lord Sugar

You have to rule the money. Don’t let the money rule you. ~Fil Adams-Mercer

Marriage is an investment that pays dividends if you pay interest. ~Bob Monkhouse

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15 Quotes by Barbara Sher to inspire you

Quotes by Barbara SherToday I offer you 15 quotes by Barbara Sher and I hope they will prove to be inspirational for you, dear reader.

Barbara Sher is best known as a speaker, a career and lifestyle coach, and as an author. She is in fact a voice of authority for self-help advice-seekers everywhere.

Barbara Sher’s books have sold millions of copies worldwide and they’ve been translated into many languages.

She’s made numerous appearances on television shows in the United States, including Oprah, The Today Show, 60 Minutes, CNN, and Good Morning America. Her own public television specials also air regularly in the United States.

Quotes by Barbara Sher:

  1. Our dreams are who we are. ~Barbara Sher
  2. Change is not only likely, it’s inevitable. ~Barbara Sher
  3. Doing is a quantum leap from imagining. ~Barbara Sher
  4. The cure for sorrow is to learn something. ~Barbara Sher
  5. You don’t have to get it right the first time. ~Barbara Sher
  6. Resentment is weak and lowers your self-esteem. ~Barbara Sher
  7. When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth we’re given. ~Barbara Sher
  8. You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. ~Barbara Sher
  9. Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren’t. ~Barbara Sher
  10. It’s essential to distinguish between events that are really beyond your control and events you caused yourself. ~Barbara Sher
  11. You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning. ~Barbara Sher
  12. The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act. ~Barbara Sher
  13. Real obstacles don’t take you in circles. They can be overcome. Invented ones are like a maze. ~Barbara Sher
  14. When you start using senses you’ve neglected, your reward is to see the world with completely fresh eyes. ~Barbara Sher
  15. Every single one of us can do things that no one else can do – can love things that no one else can love. We are like violins. We can be used for doorstops, or we can make music. You know what to do. ~Barbara Sher

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29 Christmas quotes to get you thinking about its significance

Christmas QuotesWherever you are in this world dear reader, if you’re celebrating Christmas today then I wish you a very merry Christmas and may it be peaceful and filled with warmth, abundance and the love and comradeship of family and friends.

However, if for you today is just another day, then I hope the environment in which you live and work is both friendly and peaceful. And I hope you have a roof over your head and food on your table. I wish only the best for you.

And for every reader, may your life be all you’d like it to be, now and during the year ahead.

And to get you thinking, here are 29 Christmas quotes that I hope you’ll find interesting and thought-provoking.

Christmas Quotes:

  1. Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling. ~Edna Ferber
  2. Christmas is the day that holds all time together. ~Alexander Smith
  3. Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. ~Victor Borge
  4. Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas. ~Dale Evans
  5. Don’t let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone. ~Taylor Caldwell
  6. I love the excitement, the childlike spirit of innocence and just about everything that goes along with Christmas. ~Hillary Scott
  7. Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it white. ~Bing Crosby
  8. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~Shirley Temple
  9. I don’t think Christmas is necessarily about things. It’s about being good to one another, it’s about the Christian ethic, it’s about kindness. ~Carrie Fisher
  10. Christmas is, of course, the time to be home – in heart as well as the body. ~Garry Moore
  11. The thing about Christmas is that it almost doesn’t matter what mood you’re in or what kind of a year you’ve had. It’s a fresh start. ~Kelly Clarkson
  12. The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school. ~Alice Cooper
  13. If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope
  14. Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around. ~Bryan White
  15. Every gift which is given, even though it be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection. ~Pindar
  16. My Christmases have always just been very simple and about family. ~Julie Roberts
  17. Christmas is joy, religious joy, an inner joy of light and peace. ~Pope Francis
  18. It’s true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases in your life, you’ll find you’ve created family traditions and lasting memories. Those memories, good and bad, are really what help to keep a family together over the long haul. ~Caroline Kennedy
  19. He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L Smith
  20. That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. ~Jerry Seinfeld
  21. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. ~Phyllis Diller
  22. I love giving gifts and I love receiving them. I really like giving little kids extravagant gifts. You see their little faces light up and they get excited. If it’s a really good gift, I love receiving it, like jewels, small islands. ~Gina Gershon
  23. The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted. ~Olivia Williams
  24. A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~Garrison Keillor
  25. The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of love and of generosity and of goodness. It illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world’s busy life and become more interested in people than in things. ~Thomas S. Monson
  26. The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. ~Charles Dudley Warner
  27. I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens
  28. Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. ~Washington Irving
  29. Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. ~Calvin Coolidge

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25 funny facts to entertain and amuse you

Funny FactsIf you want to amaze people with the variety and depth of your knowledge then it’s always useful to have a few weird and funny facts at your disposal.

So here are 25 funny facts to entertain and amuse you. I found them all fascinating and I hope you do too dear reader.

See how many of these facts you can work into your conversations today.

Funny Facts:

  1. China has censored their word for censorship.
  2. Cows moo with regional accents.
  3. The female lion does 90% of the hunting.
  4. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
  5. Over 75% of people who read Fact No 4 will then try to lick their elbow.
  6. 50% of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
  7. Dolly Parton once lost out to a drag queen in a Dolly Parton look-alike contest.
  8. The blob of toothpaste you put on your toothbrush is called a nurdle.
  9. Putting in a vase will make flowers stand up straight for a week beyond when they would normally wilt.
  10. One-quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
  11. A man once wore 60 shirts and nine pairs of jeans on a flight from China to Africa to avoid paying for excess baggage at check-in. 
  12. There’s a village in Norway called Hell and it freezes over every winter.
  13. It would take 76 workdays to read every online privacy policy we agree to in an average year.
  14. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
  15. In an average lifetime, while sleeping, people will eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.
  16. 27% of all food produced in Western nations ends up in garbage cans.
  17. If you went out into space, you’d explode before you’d suffocate because there’s no air pressure.
  18. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
  19. A chip of silicon a quarter-inch square has the capacity of the original 1945 ENIAC computer, which occupied an entire city block.
  20. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
  21. You can tell the sex of a horse by its teeth. Most males have 40, whilst females have 36.
  22. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, then you’d have $1.19. You’d also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
  23. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
  24. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people
  25. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.

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