15 Funny Quotes on Friendship

Funny Quotes on FriendshipIf you’re lucky enough to have one good friend then you are richer than you imagine and if you have two then you’re truly blessed.

Friendship is a relationship of equals.

Real friends are people with whom you have a lot in common, especially when it comes to things that make you laugh and those times when you enjoy getting silly.

True friends are people who know all your faults but accept you as you are anyway.

Not everyone with whom you have a friendly relationship is a true friend. Some people are just very good acquaintances.

A real friend is someone you could phone at 3am, when you’re in trouble and know they’d be out to help you in a heartbeat.

Such people are worth their weight in gold and you should never take them for granted. They’re special and you should appreciate them being in your life because not everyone is quite so lucky.

Here are 15 funny quotes on friendship that for me touch on the very essence of what it all means.

Funny quotes on friendship:

  1. Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
  2. Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
  3. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
  4. When our phones fall, we panic. When our friends fall, we laugh.
  5. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need.
  6. Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep disturbing them.
  7. You have a problem when your imaginary friend thinks he has a problem.
  8. There’s nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.
  9. Friends come and go, like waves on the ocean, but the true friends stay like an octopus on your face.
  10. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, but you’re lucky if you have one.
  11. Laughing is one of the best exercises. It’s like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it’s even better with a friend.
  12. I’d walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that’s dangerous, but a super humid room. Well not too humid, because you know, my hair.
  13. I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats.
  14. Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl’s best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.
  15. I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

3 amusing short story jokes that will definitely make you laugh

If you’re in need of a little comic relief then here are 3 amusing short story jokes that will definitely make you laugh. Take a few minutes to enjoy them all.

1. Escaping a ticket:

Jim was finally enjoying a bit of freedom in life, so he decided to buy himself a new Mercedes C-Class Cabriolet.

On the day he collected it from the dealership he thought it would be a great idea to take his new toy out for a spin on the Interstate.

It was a pleasant evening, so with the top down and the wind in his hair he decided to really put his foot down until the pedal hit the metal.

The acceleration was amazing but as the car hit 90 mph. suddenly there was the sound of a siren and through his rear view mirror Jim could see blue lights flashing.

Undaunted by this turn of events Jim just thought to himself, “There’s no way the cops will catch me in a Mercedes at full speed.

And momentarily he kept the car going flat out until his speed exceeded 110 mph.

However his nerve went when he realised that despite his speed the cops were actually gaining on him.

So the reality of his situation hit him and Jim thought, “What the hell am I doing?

He slowed down and pulled over.

At the side of the road the cop came up to him and said, “Sir, could I see your license please?

Jim handed over his license.

The cop studied it momentarily and then said to Jim, “Sir, it’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and to be honest I really don’t feel like doing any more paperwork. So I’ll offer you a deal. If you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, I’ll let you go without a ticket.

Jim thought for a second and then said, “Officer, a month ago my wife ran off with a cop. Life has been so good since then but I was afraid you were chasing in an attempt to give her back to me.

The cop smiled at Jim and said, “Have a nice weekend sir.”

And with that he left Jim to enjoy his new car.

2. The price for a little fun:

It was Friday evening, it had been payday and Bill had really had a tough week.

So on leaving the office, he decided that instead of going home, he would stay out for the entire weekend partying with his buddies and in the process blow his entire weeks salary.

When he finally arrived home on Sunday evening he was confronted by his angry wife and, needless to say, she hurled abuse at him for nearly two hours in a tirade befitting his irresponsible actions.

Finally, as she stopped shouting at him, his wife said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”

That would be fine with me,” Bill responded unwisely.

Monday went by and Bill didn’t see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

However on Thursday, the swelling had gone down sufficiently for Bill to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

3. Unexpected benefit:

Mike and his wife Liz had the misfortune to be caught up in a terrible road traffic accident, with multiple cars involved. Unfortunately in the carnage that followed, Liz’s face was severely burned.

She was taken to the local hospital where the doctor told Mike that she would need a skin graft on her face.

The problem is,” said the doctor, “your wife is so thin we wouldn’t be able to use any skin from her body for the graft.”

Could I donate skin from my body?” asked Mike.

Yes, you can,” said the doctor. “However the only suitable skin would be skin from your buttocks.

Mike explained the situation to Liz and asked whether skin from his buttocks would be acceptable to her.

Well, as long as no one else knows where the skin came from,” said Liz.

Jim assured her that it would be their secret and the doctor also promised he would honour her request for secrecy.

So Liz had the surgery and when all the scars had healed everyone was amazed at how beautiful Liz now looked.

She’d always been attractive but she was now even more beautiful than she’d been before. All her friends and relatives couldn’t help commenting on her youthful beauty.

One day, Liz was sitting alone with Mike and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

“Mike, I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. There’s no way I could ever repay you,” said Liz.

Mike smiled and kissed her. Then he said, “Darling, think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

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So did these amusing short story jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

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5 short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

short story jokes guaranteed to make you laughHere are five short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh. They made me howl with laughter, so I hope they’ll brighten your day too. Enjoy them all.

1. The Deaf Debt Collector:

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses subject to their protection racket.

As they were feeling the heat from the Police, they decided to use someone deaf for the job. If someone deaf gets caught, they figured that he wouldn’t be able to communicate easily with the Police.

In his first week on the job the deaf debt collector picks up over $50,000. That’s a lot of money he thinks and the deaf debt collector’s greed gets the better of him. He decides to keep the money and he stashes it in a safe place.

However it’s not long before the Mafia realises that the collection is late and they send out a couple of heavies to look for the deaf debt collector.

They soon find him and they ask the deaf debt collector what he’s done with the money. The problem is that deaf debt collector can’t communicate with them either, so the Mafia heavies drag him off to an interpreter.

They get to a sign language interpreter and the leading Mafioso then says, “I want ya to ask him where da money is.

So the interpreter signs, “Where’s the money?

The deaf debt collector tries to bluff his way out of his dilemma by saying, “I don’t know what they’re talking about.

The interpreter looks at the Mafioso and says, “He’s saying he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

The Mafioso reaches into his coat and pulls out a .44 Remington Magnum handgun which he points at the forehead of the deaf debt collector and then with real menace in his voice he says to the interpreter, “Ask him where da money is, and tell him I won’t be askin’ again.

So the interpreter immediately signs, “Where’s the money? He says he won’t ask again and I think he’s serious.

At this point the deaf debt collector’s nerve goes and he signs, “The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left by the gate near 72nd Street on Central Park West, and close to Strawberry Fields.

Getting impatient, the Mafioso looks at the interpreter and asks, “What did he say?

The interpreter looks at the Mafioso and says, “He says he still doesn’t know what you’re talking about, he thinks you’re a pussy and he doesn’t think you’ve got the balls to pull the trigger!

2. The Balloonist and the Programmer:

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and he soon realizes that he’s completely lost.

So he starts reducing height and then he suddenly spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon a little further and then shouts: “Excuse me sir I was wondering, can you tell me where I am? I seem to be lost.

Taken by surprise, the man looks up and replies “Yeah, that’s easy. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering about 25 feet above this field.

You must work in IT. I’m guessing you work as a programmer?” says the balloonist.

I do and yes, I am,” replies the man, looking a little surprised, “How did you guess?

Well” says the balloonist, “everything you’ve told me is technically correct but it’s of no actual use to anyone.

The programmer smiles and then says, “Ah, you must be the CEO in a business.

Yes, I am” replies the balloonist, “but how could you know that?

That’s easy,” says the programmer. “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met but now it’s my fault.

3. The Tiger, the Man and God:

A man is being chased by a tiger.

He’s running as hard as he can and eventually he gets to the edge of a cliff with the tiger still in hot pursuit.

The man looks over the edge of the cliff and sees a branch growing out of the side of the cliff just a few feet down.

Having little option, the man jumps down and grabs the branch just before the tiger arrives at the cliff edge.

The tiger is growling viciously and pacing backwards and forwards along the cliff edge. The man sighs with relief, as he thinks he’s outsmarted the tiger.

At that moment a little mouse appears from a crevice in the rock and it begins to chew on the branch.

The man looks down to what is a drop of hundreds of feet. If he falls it will surely result in his death. So he looks to the heavens and yelled out, “Dear God, if you are there, please help. I will do anything you ask but please help.

You say you will do anything I ask?” Without it being questioned?” a voice booms from heaven above.

The man is surprised to get an immediate reply to his plea but he yells back, “I will gladly do anything you ask, but please save me.

There’s one way to save you but it will take courage and faith,” says the voice from above.

The man can feel the branch begin to weaken as the mouse continues to gnaw at it and he can see the tiger still pacing around growling at the cliff’s edge a few feet above him.

Please, Lord, tell me what I must do and I will do it. Your will is my command,” shouts the man in despair.

All right then, let go of the branch,” the voice from heaven responds.

The man looks down to a fall of hundreds of feet and certain death. He looks up at the hungry tiger a few feet above him and then he looks at the mouse still chewing on the branch.

He then looks up at the heavens again and yells, “Is there no else up there I can speak to?

4. The Genie:

A customer service agent, an administration clerk and their manager are all walking to lunch when they stumble upon an old, antique oil lamp.

Knowing that old oil lamps can often house a genie they enthusiastically rub it in hopeful anticipation.

Sure enough, out pops a genie.

I am the genie of the lamp and you can each have one wish,” says the genie.

Me first! Me first!” says the customer service agent. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.

There’s a poof sound followed by a cloud of smoke and the customer service agent’s gone.

Me next! Me next!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.

There’s a poof sound followed by a cloud of smoke and the administration clerk’s gone

The genie then looks at the manager and says, “OK, I guess it’s your turn now.

I want those two back in the office in exactly 45 minutes,” the manager responds.

Moral of the story: It’s always a good idea to let your boss go first.

5. The Mexican Maid:

A Mexican maid asks for a pay rise from the lady of the house.

The wife is not happy about this, so she decides to talk to the maid about her request for more money.

Now Maria, why do you want more money?” she asks.

Well Señora, there’s tree reasons why I wanna increase,” replies the maid. “The first eez that I iron better than you.

Maria, who said you iron better than me?” responds the wife.

Jor huzban he say so Señora,” Maria replies.

Oh he did, did he?” says the wife. “And what is your second reason?

The second reason eez that I am better cook than you,” Maria responds.

That’s nonsense. Who said you’re a better cook than me?” asks the wife.

Jor hozban deed Señora,” Maria replies.

Oh he did, did he?”  the wife responds, getting increasingly agitated.

The third reason eez that I ama better at sex than you in da bed,” says Maria.

The lady of the house is now angry and through gritted teeth she asks, “And did my husband say that too?

No Señora, the gardener deed,” Maria replies.

OK, how much is it you want?” asks her employer.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

3 funny can’t stop laughing jokes you’ll love

Here are 3 funny can’t stop laughing jokes you’ll love. If you’re in need of a laugh then I suggest you take a couple of minutes and check these out now:-

1. Young Johnny:

Young Johnny wanted desperately to get a set of drums for his birthday.

His parents weren’t keen on the idea but his grandparents being grandparents couldn’t resist bringing a smile to his face and they bought him the drums.

Gee thanks, this is the best present I’ve ever had”, said Johnny excitedly, when his grandparents gave their gift.

A week later his grandad came to visit and he was asking Johnny how he was getting on with playing the drums.

They’ve already earned me over a $100”, said Johnny

Wow”, said grandad, “you must be getting really good at playing them.”

Not really”, said Johnny, “but mum gives me $10 each day for not playing them during the day and dad gives me $10 a day for not playing them in the evening.”

2. The Violin Recital:

Bill had been invited round to his neighbour’s house to listen to a violin recital being given by the neighbour’s son.

They listened intently for 30 minutes and at the end of the recital the neighbour looked at Bill and said, “What do you think?

Well, if I’m honest”, said Bill, “he reminds me of Jamie Callum.”

Really?” said the neighbour, “I didn’t even know Jamie Callum could play the violin.”

He can’t”, said Bill, “and neither can your son.”

3. A healthy diet:

Jim and Mildred, both in their 90s, were killed suddenly when the bus they were on crashed in bad weather.

This was sad because they’d been in excellent health due to a strict regime of eating only healthy foods, abstaining from drinking alcohol, plenty of exercise and watching their weight.

When St Peter welcomed them, he showed them around the first class facilities now available to them in Heaven.

Jim was really impressed with the beautiful scenery, the eighteen-hole golf course and the Olympic-sized swimming pool.

This place is really amazing”, said Jim.

That’s not all,” said St Peter, “let me show you around our five-star restaurant.”

He then led them into the most amazing restaurant with a sumptuous buffet serving every type of delicious food you could imagine.

Where’s the low fat table?” asked Jim.

Oh you don’t need to worry about that anymore”, said St Peter. “You can eat anything you like now. You can eat as much as you like too. Drink wine; drink beer as well. None of it will affect you. You’re in Heaven now!

Jim suddenly became quite irritated and he threw his hat to the ground.

What’s the problem?” asked St Peter.

Mildred”, Jim snapped, “if you hadn’t insisted on that ghastly diet of All Bran, Tofu, lentils and oatmeal, we could have been here 10 years ago!

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15 Quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger

For readers unfamiliar with her work, Dr Laura Schlessinger is an American talk radio host, commentator and author.

Her radio show consists mainly of her responses to callers’ requests for personal advice.

Her presentation style is a tough love, no nonsense approach, which means to some people she can be seen as controversial.

Certainly she’s a social conservative and even her own website says that her show preaches, teaches and nags about morals, values and ethics.

Nevertheless she has a loyal following and many people around the world listen to her via podcasts.

Here are 15 quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger which I think reflect her approach.

You can judge for yourself whether it’s an approach that would appeal to you dear reader. However I think these quotes are worth a few minutes of your time.

Quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger:

  1. It doesn’t matter how we were raised. We become the person we choose to be. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  2. In the end analysis, all we have is who we are and the way we have lived our lives. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  3. The ultimate quality of your life is not in your resumé, but in the minds and hearts of those you mean something to because you gave yourself to them. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  4. You’ve touched people and known it. You’ve touched people and you may never know it. Either way, you have something to give. It’s in giving to one another that each of our lives becomes meaningful. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  5. A woman should always be more concerned with standing up for what is right than making sure everyone likes her. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  6. Don’t worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  7. Because it’s possible to do and you have the right to do it, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  8. We as human beings should wish to be loved and embraced for our character, respected and relied on for our courage, and trusted for our conscience. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  9. The people and circumstances around me do not make me what I am, they reveal who I am. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  10. There’s no battered woman alive who didn’t know in advance that the man was bad. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  11. Men are very easy to get along with they just want to come home to something pleasant. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  12. There are so many responsible, nice, kind guys out there. Why marry a fixer-upper? ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  13. People with integrity do what they say they’re going to do. Others have excuses. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  14. Postponing happiness until all your ducks are in order means never because life is not that clean, fair or predictable. It isn’t what happens to you that defines your life, it’s what you do with it that does. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  15. Self-esteem must be earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world, you will genuinely impress yourself. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger

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You did? I hope so anyway.

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15 Quotes by Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho de Souza, or Paulo Coelho as he’s better known to the wider world, is a Brazilian novelist and lyricist.

He’s best known for his novel The Alchemist.

Paulo Coelho is also known as a keen user of digital media. He posts up to three times a week on his blog and he has millions of fans on both Facebook and Twitter.

In 2014, he also uploaded around 80,000 documents-manuscripts, diaries, photos, reader letters, press clippings and created a virtual Paulo Coelho Foundation, along with the physical foundation which is based in Geneva.

Here are 15 quotes by Paulo Coelho which certainly made me think, so I hope you will find them interesting too dear reader.

Quotes by Paulo Coelho:

  1. We want to answer this classical question, who am I? ~Paulo Coelho
  2. We have lost contact with reality, the simplicity of life. ~Paulo Coelho
  3. The more in harmony with yourself you are, the more joyful you are. ~Paulo Coelho
  4. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise but it always takes us somewhere. ~Paulo Coelho
  5. The good old days, when each idea had an owner, are gone forever. ~Paulo Coelho
  6. One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving. ~Paulo Coelho
  7. The more violent the storm, the quicker it passes. ~Paulo Coelho
  8. Every blessing ignored becomes a curse. ~Paulo Coelho
  9. We have to stop and be humble enough to understand that there is something called mystery. ~Paulo Coelho
  10. Everybody is a political person, whether you say something or you are silent. A political attitude is not whether you go to parliament; it’s how you deal with your life, with your surroundings. ~Paulo Coelho
  11. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream. ~Paulo Coelho
  12. Things do not always happen the way I would like them to happen, and I had better get used to that. ~Paulo Coelho
  13. You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one. Each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle. ~Paulo Coelho
  14. Let us be absolutely clear about one thing: we must not confuse humility with false modesty or servility. ~Paulo Coelho
  15. You’re always learning. The problem is, sometimes you stop and think you understand the world. This is not correct. The world is always moving. You never reach the point you can stop making an effort. ~Paulo Coelho

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

15 Quotes by Dr Joy Browne

For anyone unfamiliar with her work, the late Dr Joy Browne was an American psychologist and talk show host who specialized in on-air advice counselling.

She hosted a nationally syndicated call-in radio talk show for several decades, providing advice to callers and words of wisdom to her listeners.

Her shows achieved worldwide reach via podcasts.

She had a legion of loyal fans who were devastated when sadly she passed away suddenly in August 2016.

Here are 15 quotes by Dr Joy Browne to illustrate why I believe she was an inspiration.

Quotes by Dr Joy Browne:

  1. Stupid and cheerful beats smart but angry. ~Dr Joy Browne
  2. Friendship is a relationship between equals. ~Dr Joy Browne
  3. You can only help someone who wants to be helped. ~Dr Joy Browne
  4. If you’re going to have to deal with it sooner or later then sooner is better than later. ~Dr Joy Browne
  5. Appearing to be reasonable is usually more important than being reasonable. ~Dr Joy Browne
  6. Being in a relationship that makes you unhappy is a bad idea. ~Dr Joy Browne
  7. You don’t need a reason to divorce someone you can’t stand. ~Dr Joy Browne
  8. The person who cares least about the relationship controls it. ~Dr Joy Browne
  9. Our feelings are not our responsibility but our behaviour is. ~Dr Joy Browne
  10. If we give up the notion that everybody’s life is perfect but ours, we would be a lot happier. Nobody’s life is perfect. ~Dr Joy Browne
  11. The role of parents is not to do for our children but to teach our children to do for themselves. ~Dr Joy Browne
  12. Good parenting helps our kids to walk away from us and not to depend on us. ~Dr Joy Browne
  13. Kids have to make their own mistakes because anything we tell them, even if it’s right isn’t as valuable as what they learn from doing something, even if it’s wrong. ~Dr Joy Browne
  14. If someone is being difficult, what you do is walk away because either they need some time to sort it out, and you can’t do it for them, or they don’t. If they don’t, well you might as well leave with your dignity intact. You can’t make someone love you, you really can’t. ~Dr Joy Browne
  15. The only behaviour we can ever control in this life, as much as we can control anything, is our own. Not anyone else’s. ~Dr Joy Browne

I hope you were inspired by at least some of these quotes dear reader and perhaps you’d like to explore some of her work further. An example of her on-air counselling is included here as an embedded YouTube video. This is well worth your time.

Also Dr Joy Browne’s website is still available and you can explore this by clicking on the link.

If this example from YouTube appealed to you then you can still listen to her podcasts here at TuneIn.com. Just click on this link and explore the possibilities.

However if you enjoyed the quotes but wish to go no further, then please just share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

10 memorable lines from the movies

I love the movies and I love all the clever lines that are so memorable.

So today I thought it would be a good idea to hare with you 10 memorable lines from the movies.

I think these are some of the best lines of all time:-

Memorable lines from the movies:

I’ll Have What She’s Having. ~When Harry Met Sally (1989)

It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage. ~Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. ~Animal House (1978)

Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room! ~Dr Strangelove (1964)

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy. ~The First Wives Club (1996)

There’s only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other peoples’ cultures and the Dutch. ~Goldmember (2002)

I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. He made me feel like I was crazy all the time. One day he tells me it’s my fault he saw other women. So I picked up a knife and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him. Yeah, I did a little jail time but it was worth it. ~Living Out Loud (1998)

There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? ~Airplane! (1980)

Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately. I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob. ~Office Space (1999)

Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m a schizophrenic and so am I. ~What About Bob? (1991)

And a bonus memorable line from television:

I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? ~Chandler Bing, Friends

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Were these some of the most memorable lines of all times?

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People really do love the movies, so share this post now. When you share, everyone wins.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

15 Quotes by Bob Marley

The late Bob Marley was of course a Jamaican singer-songwriter who became an international musical and cultural icon. For me he is one of the greatest recording artists of all time.

His music blended mostly reggae, ska and rocksteady rhythms into compositions with a very commercial sound.

However beneath the commercial sound were lyrics with real bite. And that in my opinion is why his songs remain popular to this day.

To have risen from humble beginnings to have the international impact Bob Marley had, then you have to be someone very special and he was, certainly in musical terms.

Here are 15 quotes by Bob Marley to remind you of what a talent the world has lost.

Quotes by Bob Marley:

  1. You have to be someone. ~Bob Marley
  2. Money can’t buy life. ~Bob Marley
  3. None but ourselves can free our minds. ~Bob Marley
  4. Tell the children the truth. ~Bob Marley
  5. In this bright future you can’t forget your past. ~Bob Marley
  6. When one door is closed, don’t you know another is open? ~Bob Marley
  7. If something can corrupt you, you’re corrupted already. ~Bob Marley
  8. Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny. ~Bob Marley
  9. Don’t gain the world and lose your soul; wisdom is better than silver or gold. ~Bob Marley
  10. Open your eyes and look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living? ~Bob Marley
  11. Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. ~Bob Marley
  12. The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. ~Bob Marley
  13. Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, don’t give up the fight. ~Bob Marley
  14. Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live! ~Bob Marley
  15. God sent me on earth. He send me to do something, and nobody can stop me. If God want to stop me, then I stop. Man never can. ~Bob Marley

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You did? I hope so anyway.

If that is the case then please share them with your friends because when you share everyone wins.

So share them now on social media. If you can do that for me then it will be truly appreciated. Thank you.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

15 funny quotes to gladden your heart

I’ve said is before and I’ll say it again. I love quotes. And I’m always on the lookout for great quotes, and particularly funny quotes.

Many great quotes have influenced my own personal philosophy.

Others have been really useful as a means for reinforcing messages in presentations.

And then there are those that just make me smile.

I’m referring to those funny quotes that resonate with me, whilst offering a germ truth within the underlying wit.

So here are 15 funny quotes to gladden your heart and make you smile.

Enjoy them all. Certainly I did.

Funny Quotes:

  1. In my defence I was left unsupervised.
  2. I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not so sure.
  3. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  4. Dear Math, Please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
  5. If I won an award for laziness, I’d send someone else to pick it up.
  6. I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
  7. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  8. The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.
  9. I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
  10. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
  11. Life has no hands but it can still give you a slap in the face sometimes.
  12. Silence is golden, unless you have kids. Then it’s just suspicious.
  13. Having great power is wonderful, until you get the electricity bill.
  14. I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you’d like punch in the face.
  15. Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. ~Author Unknown

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If you were impressed and/or amused then please share this post with your friends on social media.

People love funny quotes, so please share this post now.

And let me say that if you could share this post then I’d be ever so grateful.

You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.