15 funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile

funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smileHere is another batch of funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile.

Once again I’ve been searching for the best smiles I can find just to brighten your day dear reader. I’ve done the hard work, so you don’t have to.

So sit back, relax and I hope you enjoy these funny one-liners just as much as I did.

And don’t forget your friends.

If you enjoyed these smiles then your friends probably will too.

So pass them on, but not before you’ve enjoyed them yourself.

Funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile:

  1. Never tell your secrets in a cornfield. There are too many ears
  2. Never give up on your dreams. Stay in bed and sleep on.
  3. I used to work as an origami teacher but I hated it. There was too much paperwork.
  4. They’ve just opened a new restaurant Downtown. It’s called Karma and they don’t have a menu. You just get what you deserve.
  5. Our local farmer has started feeding his cows with birdseed. That would explain why the milk is going cheep.
  6. There’s a store on Main Street where you can get dead batteries free of charge.
  7. Why is everything delivered by ship called a cargo and yet if it’s delivered by a van it’s called a shipment?
  8. Change your password to incorrect and then if you can’t quite remember it, your computer will say your password is incorrect.
  9. My sister bet me $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car using spaghetti. Her face was a picture when I drove pasta.
  10. A man delivers a load of bubble wrap. “Where do you want this he asks?” “Oh, just pop it in the corner” was the reply.
  11. A police recruit was asked during his exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He answered, “Call for backup.”
  12. I was amused to read the epitaph on the late dentist’s gravestone. It read “He’s now filling his last cavity.”
  13. Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.
  14. Why are ghosts always bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
  15. What would you call someone with just a nose and no body? Nobody knows.

15 funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smilePlease share this post:

So did these funny one-liners prove to be as funny as you’d hoped dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read here then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you.

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