25 amusing quotes about getting old

Looking 50 is great if you’re 60. ~Joan Rivers

Age is a high price to pay for maturity. ~Tom Stoppard

No man is ever old enough to know better. ~Holbrook Jackson

Time may be a great healer but it’s a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. ~George Burns

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ~John Barrymore

You are only young once but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. ~Maurice Chevalier

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.” ~Jerry Seinfeld

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. ~Author Unknown

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. ~George Burns

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘“At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” ~Claude Pepper

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. ~Bob Hope

He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. ~George Burns

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. ~Billy Crystal

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. ~Kurt Vonnegut

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. ~John Mortimer

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. ~Woody Allen

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. ~Sir Norman Wisdom

I don’t do alcohol anymore. I can get the same effect just standing up fast. ~Author Unknown

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~Henry David Thoreau

Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. ~Joan Rivers 

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ~Woody Allen

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. ~Author Unknown

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