21 funny one-liners that are pure gold

Don’t you just love people who are quick with a joke and are never short of a witty riposte or two when they need it?

Personally I think you have to admire a quick wit.

However did you know that many so called quick wits simply memorize a lot of witty stuff and create for themselves a mental ‘quiver full of arrows’ ready for use whenever necessary?

Well if they can do that then so can you.

All you need is a little ammunition to get started.

So here are some very funny one-liners to get you going. See how many of them you can work into your day.

They all made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too. So give yourself a break for a few minutes and enjoy today’s smiles.

Funny one-liners:

  1. If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving’s not for you.
  2. Wear short sleeves! Support the right to bare arms!
  3. Funny one_linersHow come we never see the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
  4. 42.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  5. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  6. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don’t expect it back.
  7. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  8. Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
  9. Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
  10. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  11. Get a new car for your spouse; it’ll be a great trade!
  12. It is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you
  13. Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  14. Support bacteria, they’re the only culture some people have.
  15. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
  16. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
  17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  18. What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
  19. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  20. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
  21. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

PFunny one_linersolite request:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these funny one-liners made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2019. All Rights Reserved.

(Visited 6,034 times, 1,383 visits today)

Speak Your Mind