10 short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

10/02/2026 by

Do you like short story jokes? Those little yarns that go on for a while, only for the punchline to pop out of left field.  Today I have seven little gems which I hope will make you laugh.

Enjoy them all, and please, feel free to pass them on.

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Short story jokes:

1. The Dead Duck

A woman brings a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon.

As she lays her beloved pet duck on the table, the vet puts his stethoscope on the bird’s chest and listens carefully.

A moment later, the vet shakes his head and says sadly, “I’m really sorry mam, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.“

The woman becomes quite distressed and begins to cry.

“Are you sure?” she asks, tears flooding her eyes.

“Yes, mam, I am sure”, the vet responds. “Your duck is definitely dead.“

“But how can you be so sure?” the woman protests. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything, have you? Perhaps he’s just stunned or in a coma or something.”

The vet rolls his eyes, then turns around and leaves the room.

A few minutes later, he returns with a black Labrador retriever.

As the duck’s owner looks on in amazement, the Labrador stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examination table, and sniffs around the duck from top to bottom. He then looks up at the vet with sad eyes and shakes his head.

The vet pats the dog on the head and takes it out of the room.

A few minutes later, the vet returns with a cat. The cat jumps on the table and delicately sniffs at the bird from its head to its feet. After a moment, the cat looks up, shakes its head, meows softly and strolls out of the room.

The vet looks at the woman and says, “Look, mam, I’m really sorry, but as I said before, this is most definitely a duck that is no longer of this world. Your duck is dead.“

The vet then turns to his computer terminal, hits a few keys and produces a bill, which he hands to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, looks at the bill and sees it is $150.

“$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” she shrieks with incredulity

The vet shrugs his shoulders and says, “I’m sorry mam. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. However, with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.“

Phil Sutton

2. Never underestimate an old man

An elderly man had owned his large farm in Louisiana for many years.

Right at the back of the farm, there was a large pond that was ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.

One evening, the farmer decides to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn’t been down there for a while.

Before setting off, he grabs a five-gallon bucket as he decides he’ll bring back some fruit.

As he nears the pond, he can hear voices shouting and laughing with glee. Clearly, someone is having a good time.

As the farmer gets closer, he can see a bunch of young women who are clearly skinny-dipping in his pond.

He makes the women aware of his presence, and immediately they all swim over to the far end.

One of the women then shouts, “We’re not coming out until you leave, mister!“

The farmer replies, “Ladies, I didn’t come down here to watch you swim naked or make you get out of the pond. You carry on.“

The wily old-timer then holds up his bucket and says, “I just came down here to feed the alligators!“

Moral of the story: Never underestimate an old man.

3. Divine intervention:

For a weekend break, three old college buddies go down to Tijuana, Mexico, to enjoy a reunion.

Well, they hadn’t seen each other for quite a few years, so the stories were long, the laughs were loud, and the booze really did flow that night.

They had such a good time that they all woke up the following morning and found themselves in jail.

None of them could remember anything. However, within a couple of hours, they’re all sentenced to be executed the following day.

The following morning, they’re all escorted to death row, where Bill, the first of the group, is strapped into the electric chair. Then Bill is asked if he’d like to say any words.

“Sure,” Bill responds. “I’m from the Catholic University of America, and I believe in the power of almighty God. I am innocent, and God will intervene.”

The executioner throws the switch, but nothing happens.

Well, the prison staff can’t believe this turn of events. They beg Bill’s forgiveness and release him.

Next up for the chair is Gary. He’s strapped in, and once again he’s offered the opportunity to say something.

“Well, I’m from Harvard Law School,” says Gary, “and I believe that the power of natural justice will intervene because I’m innocent.”

Once again, the executioner throws the switch, but nothing happens.

Again, the prison staff can’t believe this turn of events. They beg Gary’s forgiveness and release him.

Finally, Mike’s strapped into the chair, and once again he’s offered the opportunity to say something.

“Well,” says Mike. “I have a PhD in Electrical Engineering from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and I can tell you now, you won’t be executing anyone if you don’t plug this thing in.”

Saily eSIM

4. It’s only Rock & Roll:

Mary, an attractive lady of 85, was marrying for the fourth time.

Naturally, this was a human-interest story, and the local newspaper decided to send a reporter to interview Mary.

The reporter sat with Mary and asked, “Could you tell me about your husbands and how they earned their living?”

Mary smiled and said, “Well, my first husband was a banker, then I married a circus ringmaster, next was a preacher and now at 85, I’m marrying a funeral director.”

“Wow,” said the reporter, they’ve all had such diverse careers.”

“Yes,” said Mary, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.“

5. The benefits of golf:

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for a check-up, and the doctor was amazed at what good shape he was in.

“To what do you attribute your good health, sir?” asked the doctor.

“I’m a golfer,” the old guy said. “That’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight every day and out golfing up and down the fairways.“

“Well, I’m sure that helps,” said the doctor. “However, there’s got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?“

“Who said my father was dead?” said the old guy.

“You mean you’re 80 years old, and your father is still alive?” said the doctor. “How old is he, then?“

“He’s 101 years old,” said the old guy. “In fact, we played golf together just this morning. That’s why he’s still alive; he’s a golfer, too.“

“Well, that’s great,” said the doctor. “However, there really must be more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?“

“Who said my grandpa’s dead?” said the old guy.

The doctor was astonished. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! How old is he?“

“He’s 120 years old,” said the old man.

Getting slightly frustrated with this discussion, sarcastically the doctor said, “And I suppose he went golfing today too?”

“No!” said the old man. “Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he got married.“

“Got married!” the doctor said in amazement. “Why would a 120-year-old guy want to get married?“

The old man smiled and said, “Who said he wanted to?“

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6. The problem with names

One day, the construction foreman on a large building site noticed a new labourer didn’t appear to be doing very much.

So, he yelled at the guy, “What’s your name, son?“

“John,” the young fella replied.

“We’re tough men here, son,” said the foreman. “We’re not your wishy-washy liberal types. I don’t call anyone by their first name. It shows weakness.”

“Oh, right!” said John.

“Smith, Jones, Baker, or whatever your name is,” the foreman continued. “If I want you for anything, I yell, Come here, Baker!” Now we have that straight. What’s your last name, son?“

The new labourer sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

The foreman paused momentarily and then said quietly, “Oh, right, John. Can you help me unload this truck?”

7. A problem with the soup

Jim went into a diner, sat at the counter and ordered soup.

The waitress served the soup with a smile.

A few minutes went by, and the waitress noticed that Jim had yet to start eating his soup.

Naturally, she went over to him and asked, “Is everything alright, sir?“

“No!” said Jim. “Can you please taste the soup?“

The waitress looked confused. “Sir, is it too hot?“

“Just taste the soup,” Jim repeated.

“Why?” asked the waitress. “Is there something wrong with it?“

Getting a little exasperated, Jim said, “Please… just taste it.”

The waitress sighed and said, “Fine! Where’s the spoon?“

Jim smiled and said, “Exactly!”

8. Helping the unfortunate:

For the first time in decades, Giuseppe, an old Italian farmer, decided it was time for him to go to confession to seek absolution for his sins.

So, he went to the Roman Catholic church in his village and entered the confessional box.

He knelt and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

The priest replied quietly, “What is this sin of which you speak, my son?”

“Father,” Giuseppe continued, “during the Second World War, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy, so I hid her in my loft.”

“Well,” said the priest, “it was wartime; a fellow human being was in trouble and in need of shelter, and you helped. Surely that’s a noble act?”

“But Father,” Giuseppe continued, “it’s worse than you might think.”

“In what way?” asked the priest.

“She repaid me with s*xual favours,” said Giuseppe, somewhat embarrassed.

“In wartime,” the priest responded, “people act in ways they wouldn’t do in peacetime. If you’re truly sorry for your actions, then you’re forgiven.”

“Thank you,” said Giuseppe. “That’s a great weight off my mind. But Father, may I ask you a question?”

“Yes, of course,” the priest responded.

Giuseppe paused momentarily and then said, “Should I tell her that the war is over?”

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9. Jack the cowboy

Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day, as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch, a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances toward him, creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops, and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie. He steps out of the car and says to the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?“

Jack looks at the man, who’s obviously a yuppie, he then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and responds calmly, “Sure, why not?“

The yuppie then whips out a very impressive iPhone Pro smartphone from his jacket pocket and begins to surf the NASA website. Simultaneously, he uses the GPS satellite to get the exact coordinates of his location. He then feeds that back to Google Earth to capture a high-resolution image of this location.

The young man then opens the digital image in Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Langley, Virginia.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his iPhone Pro to confirm that the image has been processed and the data captured and stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he uses an AirPrint printer located in his car to print out a full-colour, 150-page report. He then turns to Jack, hands him the report and says, “Sir, you’ll see from the Executive Summary that you have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.“

“That’s right,” says Jack. “I guess you can take one of my calves.“

Jack then watches with amusement as the young man struggles to get the animal into the trunk of his car.

After a minute or two, Jack says to the guy, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my calf back?“

The young man thinks for a second, and then he says, “Sure, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the US Government“, says Jack.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?“

“No guessing required, son,” Jack responded. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to be paid for an answer I already know; to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars’ worth of equipment trying to show me how smart you are, and you don’t know a thing about how ordinary working people make a living, or about cows, for that matter. If you did, you’d know that this herd is actually a flock of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”

Phil Sutton

10. The old Native American and a $500 loan 

An old Native American man visits a bank seeking a loan.

The banker welcomes him and then says that a loan application form must be completed. So he takes a loan application form from his desk drawer and begins to question the old man.

“So, what are you going to do with the money?” he asks the man.

“Buy silver, make jewellery, then sell it,” the man responded.

“And what have you got for collateral?” asked the banker.

“Don’t know collateral,” replied the old man

“Well, that’s something of value that you provide us with to cover the cost of the loan if you fail to repay,” said the banker. “For instance, have you got any vehicles?“

“Yes. 1979 Chevy pickup,” replied the old man

The banker shook his head, “No, that won’t do, I’m afraid. How about livestock?“

“Yes, I have a horse,” replied the old man.

“How old is it?” the banker enquired.

“Don’t know, has no teeth,” replies the old man.

The conversation went on like this for a while, but eventually, the banker decided to grant the $500 loan to the old man.

Several weeks later, the old man returns to the bank.

He pulls out a large roll of $100 bills from his pocket, “Here to pay,” he says.

He then hands the banker $500 in $100 bills to repay his loan.

“Business has been good, I can see,” says the banker. “What are you going to do with the rest of that money?“

“Keep it close to me,” the old man responded.

“Why don’t you just deposit it in my bank?” the banker enquired.

“Don’t know deposit,” replied the old man

“Well, you just put the money in our bank, and we take care of it for you. Whenever you want to use it, you can withdraw it,” the banker responded.

The old Native American man leans across the desk, looks the banker in the eye and asks, “What you got for collateral?“

Please share this post:

So did these short story jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped read reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

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5 contenders for funny stories of the day

09/25/2026 by

If you’re looking for funny stories of the day, then take a quick look at these four gems. They all tickled me, and I hope they make you smile too.

Enjoy them all.

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Funny stories of the day:

1. Traffic stop:

Jed and Wilma, an elderly couple, were driving to Buffalo to visit family.

Naturally, given their age, they shared the driving with a changeover each time they stopped for a comfort break.

While Wilma was behind the steering wheel, she was pulled over by the police.

“Mam, did you know you were speeding?” said the police officer.

Now, Wilma was hard of hearing, so she turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?“

In response, Jed yelled, “He says you were speeding!“

“Mam, may I see your driver’s license, please?” the police officer asked politely.

Once again, Wilma turned to Jed and said, “What did he say?“

Yelling, once again, Jed responded, “He wants to see your driver’s license!“

Wilma searched through her purse and eventually found her driver’s license, which she passed to the police officer.

The police officer checked her license details and then, by way of conversation, remarked with a smile, “Mam, I see you’re from New York City. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the most annoying woman I’ve ever met.“

Once again, Wilma turned to Jed and asked, “What did he say?“

“He said he thinks he knows you!” yelled Jed.

2. The barber’s shop:

An old cowboy walks into a barber’s shop for a shave and a haircut.

Keen to ensure he gets the best shave possible, the cowboy explains to the barber that he can never get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are so wrinkled with age.

“That’s no problem,” said the barber.

He then reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a little wooden ball.

The barber then says to the cowboy, “Just put this inside your cheek. We’ll do each side in turn, and it’ll spread the skin out. With this, I’ll be able to give you a really close shave.”

When the barber’s finished, the old cowboy is really pleased with the results.

“Oh my, that’s the cleanest shave I’ve had in years,” he says.

As he’s handing back the wooden ball to the barber, he’s curious.

“That little ball is a great idea, but what would’ve happened if I’d accidentally swallowed it?” asks the cowboy.

“That wouldn’t have been a problem,” said the barber. “You could have just brought it back in a couple of days, as everyone else does.”

3. Holiday in disguise:

Two Catholic priests went on vacation to Honolulu.

On this occasion, they were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as priests.

They wanted to enjoy this vacation just like regular people do.

So, as soon as the plane landed, they went straight to a local beachwear store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, and sunglasses.

The next morning, they decided to go for a walk along the beach dressed in their new clothes.

They were sitting in a beach bar, enjoying a long, cool drink and taking in the sunshine and the scenery, when an attractive blonde woman in a bikini came walking straight towards them.

This lady was truly stunning, so they couldn’t help but stare.

As she passed them, she smiled and said to them in turn, “Good morning, Father,” and “Good morning to you too, Father.”

They were both stunned into silence. How could she know they were both Catholic priests?

So later that day, they went back to the beachwear store and bought even more outrageous outfits. Outfits so loud, you could hear them a mile away.

The next day, dressed in their new, outrageous attire, they settled down once again in the beach bar to enjoy a cold drink.

Once again, the attractive blonde, wearing a different bikini, came walking towards them.

Again, she nodded at each of them and said, “Good morning, Father,” and “Good morning to you too, Father.”

Well, the priests were shocked because they’d been recognised as priests once again.

“Just a minute, young lady,” said one of the priests.

“Yes, Father?” she responded.

“Now it’s true, we’re priests, and we’re proud of it,” he responded. “But how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?”

“Father, it’s me,” the blonde replied. “Sister Philomena!”

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4. The Rectal Examination

Jim was visiting his physician, Dr Stewart, for a colonoscopy.

Unfamiliar with such a rectal procedure, Jim was a little nervous as he entered the doctor’s surgery.

Now Dr Stewart had a new blond nurse, Mary Anne, who escorted Jim to the examining room.

Mary Anne told Jim to get undressed, put on the gown, and take a seat until the doctor was ready to see him. She explained that the doctor might be a few minutes away.

Jim did as he’d been told and then sat down.

As he waited, naturally he started to observe everything around him, and he noticed some items that were placed on the table next to him.

There was a tube of lubricant, a pair of rubber gloves, and a can of beer.

When Dr Stewart entered the room, Jim said to him, “I’m a little confused, doc. This is my first rectal procedure, but I do know what the lube and the gloves are for, but I really don’t understand why you need the beer.”

Dr Stewart looked at the table and then stormed out of the room and yelled, “Damn it, Mary Anne! I asked for a BUTT light!”

5. Making an immediate impact:

The new CEO arrives for his first day in the office, and he’s determined to let everyone know that he means business.

Having done a quick review of the company’s financial position, he decides his first act must be to reduce costs by getting rid of all the slackers who were not adding value to the business.

As he’s taking a tour of the company’s facilities, there are workers everywhere, but his eyes are immediately drawn to a guy leaning against a wall, apparently doing nothing in particular.

Seeing this as his chance to make an immediate impact, he walks over to the guy and asks, “How much money do you earn each week, son?”

The guy is taken a little by surprise, but he responds politely by saying, “Sir, I make around $400 per week. Why do you ask?”

In response, the CEO says, “You just wait right here!”

He then disappears into the finance department, and minutes later, he reappears holding a bundle of cash in his hands.

He hands the guy $1,600 and says, “That’s four weeks’ pay. Now get out of here and don’t come back.”

The guy takes the money and disappears out the door as fast as he can.

Feeling like a real power boss, the CEO looks around and says to no one in particular, “So, does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did around here?”

From the back of the room, in a loud voice, someone responded, “He was the pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

Phil Sutton

Please share this post with your friends:

They were shared for laughs, but did any of these funny stories of the day really make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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5 humorous stories that’ll brighten your day a little

09/04/2026 by

If you’re looking for some funny jokes in the form of humorous stories, then I’ve got five great ones for you today, dear reader.

I’m confident you’ll enjoy them all.

So grab a coffee, relax, and take an unofficial break from the day’s pressures to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

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Humorous Stories:

1. Fly Southwest:

Little Johnny was looking out of the plane’s window, enjoying the experience of his first flight.

Deep in thought, he suddenly turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?“

Well, his mother was a little perturbed by this question, and she struggled to think of an answer, so she said, “Johnny, why don’t you ask the flight attendant?”

Little Johnny was not a child lacking in confidence, so he walked down the aisle and politely said to the flight attendant, “Excuse me, mam, if big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?“

The flight attendant had heard it all before, of course, but she smiled sweetly at Johnny and then asked, “Did your mom tell you to ask me that?“

Little Johnny returned her smile and said, “Yes, mam, she did.”

“Well,” said the flight attendant, “you can tell your mom that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mom to explain that to you.“

2. Voluntary donations:

Jim was driving home from the office one day when he found himself stuck in traffic because all the cars ahead of him had come to a complete standstill on the freeway. Nothing was moving at all.

Suddenly, Jim noticed a police officer walking down the line of traffic and approaching the car in front.

So Jim got out of his car and asked the police officer why there was a problem.

“Sir, I’m so sorry for the inconvenience, but the city’s mayor is sitting in the middle of the road ahead, and he’s in a state of extreme agitation,” said the police officer.

“He says he’s deep in debt, and he’s threatening to douse his body with gasoline and then set fire to himself,” the police officer added.

“So what are you doing?” asked Jim.

“I’m going from car to car asking for donations,” the police officer responded.

“And how much have you collected so far?” Jim inquired.

“Well, sir,” said the police officer, “we’ve only just started, but drivers ahead have given us fifteen gallons so far, and other drivers are still siphoning as we speak.”

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3. The argument:

Doctor O’Riley and his wife are arguing at the breakfast table.

The argument is gradually escalating as they start lobbing verbal bombs at each other, trying to outdo what the other has said.

Eventually, Doctor O’Riley is in such a rage, he shouts, “And you’re no good in bed either,” before he storms out of the house.

By the time he reaches his surgery, Doctor O’Riley has calmed down, and he starts to feel guilty about his parting remark.

So, he phones his wife to apologise.

There’s no answer. So, he attempts to call several more times during the next hour. Eventually, his call is answered after many rings, and by this time, the doctor is irritated and shouts, “What took you so long to answer the phone?”

“I was in bed,” his wife responds.

“You were in bed?” the doctor says in surprise. “What were you doing in bed?”

“If you must know,” his wife says, “I was getting a second opinion!”

4. Seeking meaning:

The Lone Ranger and his faithful partner, Tonto, were camping in the wilderness.

It had been a long day on the trail, and after they’d set up their tent, they both fell asleep.

Hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards the sky. What do you see?“

The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars, Tonto. Why?“

“What does that tell you, Kemo Sabe?” asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders this question momentarily and then says, “It tells me that the universe has millions of galaxies and billions of planets. It says we are mere specks in the great cosmos. And it says it’s approximately a quarter past two in the morning. The clear sky also suggests we will enjoy a beautiful day later. What does it tell you, Tonto?“

“Kemo Sabe, you’re dumber than a prairie dog,” Tonto responds. “It tells me that someone stole our tent.”

Phil Sutton

5. Bubba’s tragic demise:

Sadly, Bubba was killed in suspicious circumstances in a terrible fire, suffering severe burns that left him completely unrecognizable.

To identify the body formally, the Los Angeles County medical examiner called in Bubba’s two close friends, Jim-Bob and Joe-Bob.

The medical examiner showed Jim-Bob the body, and he responded with a sharp intake of breath and then said, “Oh jeez, he’s burnt to a crisp. Could you roll him over, please, sir?”

So the medical examiner rolled the body, and Jim-Bob responded immediately, saying, “No, sir, that ain’t Bubba.”

“Are you sure?” said the medical examiner.

“Yes, sir, I’m sure,” Jim-Bob responded, “but you can ask Joe-Bob if you like.”

So Joe-Bob was brought into the mortuary and shown the body.

“Jeez,” said Joe-Bob, “he’s burnt to a crisp. Could you roll him over, please, sir?”

Though puzzled to receive this request once again, the medical examiner dutifully obliged and rolled the body.

Joe-Bob paused momentarily and then said, “No, sir, that ain’t Bubba.”

This turn of events mystified the medical examiner. So he asked, “How can you possibly tell that it isn’t Bubba just by rolling him over?”

“Well, sir,” said Joe-Bob, “Bubba had two assholes.”

“What do you mean, he had two assholes?” exclaimed the medical examiner.

“Yes, sir, everyone knew that around here,” said Joe-Bob.

“How do you know?” the medical examiner asked.

To which Joe-Bob responded, “Because every time the three of us walked down Main Street together, you’d hear people say, ‘Here comes Bubba with two assholes’.”

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Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these humorous stories made you smile, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then click on the links below.

Thank you.

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5 funny jokes to tell your friends and make them smile

08/29/2026 by
5 FUNNY JOKES TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS

Few things in life can beat a good laugh. However, a better thing is making your friends laugh. So if you’re looking for some funny jokes to tell your friends, then today I offer you five of them, which I’m confident will raise a smile or two.

So take a few moments to enjoy them, and then feel free to pass them on to others.

It’s always good to share the smiles.

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Funny jokes to tell your friends:

1. The Chapel of Rest:

When I was about seven years old, my father took me to the local funeral parlour, as he wanted to pay his respects to an old work colleague who’d recently died.

This was a man I’d never met, but it was important to my father, and he thought it would be a good life experience for me to accompany him.

As we waited our turn to view the open casket, I sat quietly in a corner, waiting for the time to pass.

Suddenly, the door to the Chapel of Rest opened, and an elderly man I’d never met came out, and as he did so, he smiled at me and said, “Make sure you enjoy your life, son. Be happy because it’ll all go by in the blink of an eye. Look at me, I didn’t, and now it’s too late.”

With that, the man disappeared through the door onto the street, and it was our turn to view the body and pay our respects.

We walked solemnly into the Chapel of Rest, and I looked into the open casket.

I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it. The body in the casket was the man who’d just spoken to me.

Well, I was utterly traumatized by the experience. I had nightmares, and I was terrified to be alone. I couldn’t sleep without the light on for several years.

It got so bad that I had to go for psychotherapy and counselling.

As I got older, gradually I began to cope a bit better, until one day I discovered something that completely changed my life.

I learned that my father’s dead colleague had an identical twin brother.

Phil Sutton

2. The Driving Test:

Jane arrived home, having just taken her driving test for the ninth time.

Naturally, her husband, Bill, was keen to know how she’d gotten on this time.

“So, honey, how did it go this time?” Bill asked.

“Not good,” Jane responded. “They failed me again.”

“Really?” said Bill, sounding disappointed for her. “What did they pull you up on this time?”

“A rope,” Jane responded, sheepishly.

“A rope?” Bill inquired, looking slightly puzzled.

“Yes, that’s how they got me out,” Jane responded. “The car’s still in the river.”

3. The Infertility Problem:

A farmer went into a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman sitting next to him at the counter said, “Well, how about that? I just ordered champagne, too!”

“What a coincidence,” the farmer responded. “This is a special day for me, so I’m celebrating!”

“Well, this is a special day for me too, so I’m celebrating as well,” the woman replied.

“What a coincidence!” said the farmer. As they clinked glasses in celebration, the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating, mam?”

“My husband and I have been trying to have a baby,” said the woman, “and my gynaecologist has just confirmed that I’m pregnant!”

“What a coincidence!” said the farmer. “I’m a chicken farmer, and my hens were infertile all last year, but today they are all laying eggs!”

“Wow, that’s great!” said the woman. “So, how did your chickens suddenly become fertile?”

“I used a different c***,” replied the farmer.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass again, and said, “What a coincidence!”

DishDilemma.com

4. The Confessional Booth:

Father Murphy was taking confessions when a teenage boy entered the confessional booth.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” said the youth. “I have been with a girl of loose morals.”

“Is that you, young Jimmy Walsh?” Father Murphy inquired.

“Yes, Father, it is,” young Jimmy responded.

“And you, an altar boy! I’m disappointed in you, Jimmy,” said Father Murphy. “Who is this young girl?”

“Oh Father, I don’t want to get her a bad reputation,” said Jimmy, defensively.

“Was it Bernadette Kelly?” Father Murphy inquired.

“No, Father,” said Jimmy.

“Was it Patricia O’Connor?” Father Murphy continued.

“No, Father,” said Jimmy.

“Was it Teresa O’Sullivan?” Father Murphy pressed on.

“Father, I cannot give you her name. It wouldn’t be fair,” said Jimmy.

“Well, I admire your loyalty to this girl, Jimmy, but you’ve sinned, and if you insist on remaining tight-lipped, then you must accept your penance,” Father Murphy responded.

“And what will that be, Father?” Jimmy asked.

“You’re barred from serving as an altar boy again for three months.” Father Murphy responded sternly.

Young Jimmy walked back to the pew slowly, and as he sat down, his friend Rory whispered, “How did it go?”

“The plan worked like a charm,” Jimmy responded with a smile. “Three months off and three great leads.”

5. Experimental Surgery:

Family and friends were gathered at the bedside of Jim, who was in a coma.

Eventually, a doctor arrived to update Jim’s loved ones on his situation.

The doctor paused momentarily as he observed the concern on their faces.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news for you,” said the doctor.

“What is it, doc?” asked Jim’s brother.

“Well,” responded the doctor. “If Jim is to survive, his only hope would be a brain transplant. I must tell you, this type of surgery is still experimental, it’s risky, and there will be a cost that you will need to pay.”

Jim’s loved ones stood there in stunned silence.

After a few minutes, Jim’s wife asked the doctor, “How much would his new brain cost?”

“Well, that depends,” said the doctor. “A male brain would cost around $10,000, whereas a female brain would be about $1,000.”

An awkward moment followed, as the men at Jim’s bedside couldn’t resist smirking.

Then Jim’s wife’s curiosity got the better of her.

“Why is the male brain so much more expensive, doctor?” she asked.

“Well, it’s our standard practice,” said the doctor. “We have to lower the price of a female brain because they’ve been used.”

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5 short funny stories for adults looking for a smile

08/22/2026 by

Here are five short funny stories for adults looking for a smile today. They all made me laugh, and I hope they make you laugh, too.

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Short funny stories for adults:

1. The nudist beach:

Three men were visiting a nudist beach, and it wasn’t long before they were engaged in conversation. Two of the men looked very happy to be there, whilst the other man looked a little glum.

Naturally, their conversation quickly gravitated to a discussion about their respective jobs.

“I work on Wall Street,” said the first man, smiling. “It’s well-paid work, but the dress code is very formal, and I have to wear a suit with a collar and tie daily. So this is a perfect vacation for me. I have the freedom to relax, feeling completely unrestrained.”

The second man smiled and said, “I’m with you there, buddy. I’m a deep-sea diver, and I’m usually weighed down with a diver’s suit, lead boots, and a brass helmet. Being here on this beach is real freedom for me.”

The two men then looked at their unhappy companion and asked what he did for a living.

“I’m a pickpocket,” said the man, “and my therapist said I’d benefit from a holiday where I won’t have the opportunity to steal from people.”

2. The real deal:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in Benidorm debating the merits of their favourite bars back home.

“In my local pub in London,” says the Englishman, “if I buy two pints of lager, I get the third pint for free. Now that’s a decent deal, you must admit.”

“That’s nothing!” says the Scotsman. “In the pub I go to in Glasgow, if I buy two double whiskies, they’ll give me the third double whisky for free. That’s got to be an even better deal, surely?”

“Listen, boys,” the Irishman responds, “in my local pub in Dublin, if you buy five pints of Guinness, they’ll not only give you the sixth pint for free, but if you go upstairs, you can have s** for free too.”

The Englishman and the Scotsman look at each other quizzically before the Englishman says, “Really? Has that happened to you?”

“Well, no,” says the Irishman, “but it happens to my sister all the time.”

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3. Crossing the raging river:

Jim, Bill, and Mike are three friends out walking in the countryside when they arrive at a wide and raging river.

Naturally, they need to get across, but they have no idea how to cross successfully.

Jim, being a believer in the good Lord, immediately prays to God. “Please, God, give me the strength to cross this raging river.”

Suddenly, there’s a POOF sound, and Jim’s arms and legs are transformed into powerful limbs that allow him to swim across the river in less than an hour.

Seeing this, Bill decides to pray too. “Please, God, give me the strength and ability to cross this raging river in a way easier than swimming.”

Suddenly, there’s a POOF sound, and there before Bill is a kayak, which allows him to row across the river in less than 30 minutes.

Having witnessed events so far and seeing how it works, Mike decides to pray too. “Please, God, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this raging river in the easiest way possible.”

Suddenly, there’s a POOF sound, and Mike is turned into a woman. She checks her map, walks 100 yards along the riverbank, and walks across the bridge.

4. Stranger in town:

The journey on horseback from Waco to Fort Worth is a long ride along a dusty trail, and for any cowboy, it’s thirsty work.

So when George passed through a small town along the way, he decided to stop at the saloon for a cold beer to quench his thirst.

Well, the locals were none too friendly to strangers passing through their town, and George could sense a negative vibe immediately as he tied up his horse to the post before walking through the saloon doors.

When he’d finished his beer, George walked outside, and he was none too happy to discover that someone had stolen his horse.

So he walked back into the bar, drew his gun from its holster, spun it around his finger in an impressive fashion, and then shot a bullet straight through a whisky bottle standing at the other end of the long bar.

The place went silent, and you could hear a pin drop, until George shouted, “Now which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?”

No one said anything. The place was deadly quiet.

George shouted menacingly, “Now you listen to me! I’m gonna sit here and have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I’ve finished my drink, then I’m gonna do what I dun in Waco. And I don’t want to have to do what I dun in Waco.”

The locals shifted nervously in their seats. They didn’t like strangers much, but they liked trouble even less.

So when George had finished his beer, he looked outside, and sure enough, there was his horse tied to the post and waiting for him.

George saddled up and then started to ride slowly along Main Street.

The bartender had wandered outside and stood and watched George go.

“Hey partner,” said the bartender, “so what happened in Waco?”

George smiled and said, “I had to walk home!”

Phil Sutton

5. The Adoption Agency:

A married couple, Jim and Josephine, owned their own circus, and one day they walked into an adoption agency.

Naturally, they explained their circumstances to the social worker.

The social worker looked a little puzzled. “Are you sure that a travelling circus is the best environment in which to bring up a young child?” he asked. “I mean, all those dangerous animals and constantly being on the road?”

“The animals are all well trained,” Josephine responded, “and we have a state-of-the-art, sixty-foot motor home, with every comfort necessary.”

“But how would you educate the child?” asked the social worker.

“We’ve arranged a tutor,” said Jim. “He’ll teach all the regular academic subjects, as well as Spanish and computer programming.”

“And we’ll have a nanny,” Josephine added quickly. “She’s certified in pediatric care, child welfare, and nutrition.”

The social worker had listened carefully, and he was impressed.

“Well, you do seem like an ideal couple,” he said. “What age of child did you have in mind?”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Jim, “as long as they’re small enough to fit in the cannon.”

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Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did you find these short funny stories for adults as amusing as you’d hoped? Certainly, I hope they all made you laugh.

Perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, please click on the links below.

And if you did enjoy this post, then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone’s a winner.

Your support is truly appreciated.

Thank you.

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5 funny short stories for seniors that’ll raise a smile

08/21/2026 by

Here are five funny short stories for seniors that should raise a smile or two. They all made me laugh, and I hope they brighten your day too.

Please feel free to share them with your friends on social media.

FUNNY SHORT STORIES FOR SENIORS
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Funny Short Stories for Seniors:

1. Fading memories:

An elderly couple, George and Mildred, began to notice that they were getting increasingly forgetful in their old age. Naturally, they thought it might be a good idea to discuss the problem with their doctor.

The doctor reassured them that this was quite a common experience for people as they got older, and he suggested that they should start writing things down to help them remember.

When they got home, Mildred asked George to get her a bowl of ice cream from the kitchen refrigerator.

“Should I write that down for you, George?” she said.

“No, Mildred. I’m sure I’ll remember a bowl of ice cream,” George responded.

“OK, George,” said Mildred, “but I want some whipped cream with my ice cream, too. Should I write that down?”

“No,” said George. “I’ll remember. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.“

“George, I’d love a cherry on top too,” said Mildred. “Should I write that down?”

“No, I got it,” said George. “You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

So George disappears into the kitchen to get the ice cream, and he then spends an unusually long time there before returning about 40 minutes later.

He returns to the living room and hands Mildred a plate of eggs and bacon.

Mildred stares at the plate momentarily, and then she looks at George.

“Where’s the toast?” she asks.

2. Pronunciation problem:

Jeff and Mary, a middle-aged couple, are driving through Louisiana when they come to the small city of Natchitoches.

Neither of them had ever been there before, and they started arguing about how the city’s name is pronounced.

Needless to say, both of them thought they knew best, and they kept on bickering until eventually, they decided to stop for lunch.

At the counter, Jeff smiled at the pretty, young waitress and said, “Mam, before we order, could you help us settle an argument, please?”

The young waitress smiled and said, “Sure! How can I help you, honey?”

“Could you please pronounce where we are right now, very slowly?” said Jeff.

The young waitress leaned over the counter, smiled and said, “Yes, sir! It’s Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.“

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3. Cash withdrawal:

A guy goes into his bank and withdraws $5,000 cash in $20 bills.

The teller counts out the cash in front of him and then wraps a rubber band around the cash bundle before she hands it to him.

He quickly stuffs the wad of cash in his pocket before leaving the bank in a hurry.

When he reaches his car, he puts his hand in his pocket to grab the cash, but it’s not there. He hadn’t been close enough to anyone for his pocket to have been picked, so he realised the cash must have fallen through a hole in his jacket.

All he can do is retrace his steps.

He gets back to his bank, and there’s an elderly lady on the street who says to him, “Sir, did you lose some cash bound with a rubber band?”

“Why yes, mam, I did,” says the guy. “Have you found it?”

“Well,” said the lady, “I’ve found the rubber band.”

4. Rules of engagement:

Mack and Mabel are an elderly couple who’ve been courting for over forty years.

Finally, they decided it was about time they got married.

However, first, they decided it was important to agree on how their marriage relationship would work.

So, they had a series of discussions on income, finances, cooking, cleaning, bedroom arrangements, and everything else that would affect them both in the years ahead.

Finally, Mack thought it was important to discuss how the physical side of their relationship would work.

“How do you feel about s**, Mabel?” asked Mack.

“Well,” said Mabel, choosing her words carefully, “I would like it infrequently.”

Mack thought about it momentarily and then asked, “Was that one word or two, Mabel?”

Phil Sutton

5. Bill’s quest:

Bill was driving down a remote country road one day. He’s in the middle of nowhere, a long way from home, when, as luck would have it, his car breaks down near a monastery.

So Bill walks over to the monastery and knocks on the door.

The door is opened by one of the monks, and Bill explains his predicament.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” says Bill, “but I’m a long way from home, my car’s broken down, and I can’t get a repairman today because it’s Sunday. Would it be possible for me to stay the night here at the monastery?“

The monks graciously accept Bill, and they’re happy for him to spend the night there. He’s invited to have dinner with them, and as they’re very resourceful, they even fix his car for him.

After Bill has retired to his room for the night, and as he’s trying to fall asleep, he hears a strange but seductive sound.

It’s a sound, unlike anything he’s ever heard before.

It’s a sound so seductive that Bill is reminded of the Sirens of Greek mythology, who lured sailors with their enchanting music and singing voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast.

Well, Bill cannot sleep that night thinking about what he’s just heard. He tosses and turns, trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a strange but seductive sound.

As you’d expect, at breakfast, Bill feels compelled to ask the monks about the sound he’d heard during the night.

The Abbot, sitting at the head of the table, smiles benevolently at Bill and responds to his question by saying, “Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.”

Bill is disappointed by this response, but he thanks the monks for their hospitality, and, having finished breakfast, he leaves the monastery.

However, the matter doesn’t end there.

Bill cannot forget the hypnotic allure of this beautiful, seductive sound. So, a year later, he just has to go back to the monastery and plead with the monks to tell him more about this strange sound.

Once again, the response from the Abbot is, “Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.”

Bill is desperate, so he says to the Abbot, “Look, if the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk.”

“Before you can join our monastery,” says the Abbot, “you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are in total and the exact number of grains of sand there are, too. When you’ve found the answers to these questions, only then will you be ready to become a monk.“

Bill realises it won’t be easy, but he sets about his task to become a monk.

Years later, he’s now getting old, but Bill is back knocking on the door of the monastery.

The door is answered, and Bill is taken to the Abbot.

“In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I’ve travelled the earth as you requested,” says Bill. “Reflecting on the questions you asked me to answer, I’ve come to realise that the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self-deception.“

“Congratulations!” says the Abbot. “You’re now ready to become a monk and join our monastery.”

“Can I now know the mystery of the sacred sound?” asks Bill.

“Indeed, you can,” the Abbot responds. “Follow me.”

The Abbot then leads Bill down a long, dark corridor, at the end of which is an old wooden door.

“The source of the sound is beyond this door,” says the Abbot, as he hands Bill a key.

Bill then opens the door, only to find that behind it is another door made of stone.

The Abbot hands Bill another key, and he opens it, only to find yet another door, this time one that is encrusted with emeralds.

Well, the process goes on and Bill finds a series of doors, encrusted with various precious gems, including pearls, sapphires, rubies and diamonds. He’s given keys for each, and he opens each one.

Finally, Bill reaches a door that is made of solid gold.

He can now hear the strange and seductive sound clearly as the Abbot hands him the final key.

“This is the last key to the last door,” says the Abbot. “On the other side of this door is the source of the sound that has enchanted you so much, for so long.”

Bill is feeling a little apprehensive at this point, after all, the answer he’s been seeking for so long is behind this door.

With trembling hands, Bill unlocks the door, turns the knob, and pushes the door open, slowly.

He falls to his knees in amazement, as he finally discovers the source of that haunting, seductive and beautiful sound.

And what is the source?

Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.

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Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did you find these funny short stories for seniors as amusing as you’d hoped? Certainly, I hope they all made you laugh.

Perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, please click on the links below.

And if you did enjoy this post, then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone’s a winner?

Your support is truly appreciated.

Thank you.

More fun you might enjoy:

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12 funniest jokes you’ll read today

07/18/2026 by
12 funniest jokes

We all need a smile or two now and then. Jokes cheer us up, and laughter is the best medicine. So today I offer you 12 of the funniest jokes, each in two lines.

Let me say that these are jokes that I’ve stumbled upon in various places, so I cannot claim credit for them.

However, I wasn’t able to identify the original authors either.

Should you be the author of any of these jokes, or should you know the original author, then please let me know.

I would welcome the opportunity to add appropriate credits and links to acknowledge the authors. In the meantime, enjoy them all!

DishDilemma.com
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Funniest Jokes:

  • You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving
  • You only need a parachute if you plan to go skydiving twice
  • Parallel lines have so much in common
  • It’s a shame they’ll never meet
  • Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I earn
  • Then they call me ugly and poor
  • Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re going to pay
  • You have my Word
  • I went to an emotional wedding the other day
  • Even the cake was in tiers
  • Someone stole my mood ring
  • I don’t know how I feel about that
  • I tried to catch fog yesterday
  • Mist
  • Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
  • If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrow too high
  • She looked surprised
  • I threw a boomerang a few years ago
  • I now live in constant fear
  • A guy shows up late for work. His boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8.30!”
  • The guy replies, “Why? What happened at 8.30?
  • To people who say, “My dog is my best friend.”
  • I say, “Your dog may be your best friend, but will it pick you up from the airport? I think not.”
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Audible: The perfect companion for comedy lovers:

Dear reader, do you love humour and comedy, witty stand-up, or hilarious storytelling?

Would you like to access all the funny content while you’re on the move?

Perhaps you prefer to listen rather than read. Well, why wouldn’t you?

Imagine having unlimited access to the funniest audiobooks, comedy specials, and laugh-out-loud performances anytime, anywhere.

Well, that is precisely what you get with Audible. 

Quite simply, it is a game-changer for comedy enthusiasts!

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Why Audible is essential for comedy fans:

Instant access to top comedy titles: Whether it is classic works by legends like George Carlin and Dave Chappelle or the newest releases from today’s hottest comedians (think Kevin Hart, Ali Wong, or Trevor Noah), Audible has a vast library that is packed with comedy gold. Whatever your preference, you’ll always find something to tickle your funny bone.

Hear the jokes come to life: Reading comedy is one thing, but hearing it delivered by the original performer takes the experience to another level. The timing, tone, and energy of a live performance shine through in audiobooks, making every punchline land with greater impact.

Laugh on the go: Whether you’re stuck in traffic, sitting on a bus, or just waiting in line, an Audible subscription can turn even dull moments into a comedy club experience. Just put on your headphones and let the funniest comedians turn your commute or workout into a laugh fest.

Exclusive comedy originals:?If you don’t know it, Audible produces original comedy content you won’t find anywhere else, featuring top-tier comedians in special performances, improv shows, and behind-the-scenes storytelling.

Flexible listening, risk-free:?Don’t forget that there’s a trial and easy exchanges if a title isn’t your style. Audible makes it simple to explore new comedians without buyer’s remorse. Plus, you keep your books even if you cancel!

So, don’t just read comedy, experience it!

Life’s too short for boring moments. With Audible, you can fill your days with laughter, wit, and unbeatable entertainment. 

Try Audible today and discover why it’s the best investment any comedy lover can make.

Start your trial now and get your first comedy audiobook free!

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DISCLOSURE: I am an Amazon affiliate. If you subscribe to Audible or make a purchase via the links provided, please be aware that I will receive a small commission. However, there will not be any additional cost to you. Your understanding is appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.

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Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these funny jokes, dear reader, then please share this post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

Please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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19 funny jokes to tell your friends

06/05/2026 by

Today I thought you might appreciate some funny jokes to tell your friends.

You’ll always have friends if you can entertain people and tell a joke or two. We all love to laugh, and someone amusing is immediately likeable. So, to be likeable, always have a few jokes in your back pocket.

If you want to make your friends smile, here are 19 funny jokes to tell your friends. Enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

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FUNNY JOKES TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS

Funny jokes to tell your friends (1-10)

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was too tired.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

What kind of tree will fit into your hand? A palm tree.

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

How do you kill a circus clown? You go for the juggler.

Where do cows go on a Saturday night? To the moo-vies.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He just pasta way.

I used to work in a shoe recycling factory, but it was sole destroying.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m about to change.

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Funny jokes to tell your friends (11-19)

I married Miss Right. It was only later that I realized her first name was Always.

My wife told me that I must stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

What is grammar? It’s the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Why did the girl get hit by a bike every day? Because she was stuck in a vicious cycle.

A Hot Dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve food here.”

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

A thief broke into my house the other night searching for money. He woke me up, so I thought I might as well help him search for it, even though I wasn’t optimistic we’d find anything.

A cop pulls a guy over and says, “Your eyes are awfully red, have you been drinking?” To which the guy responds, “Well, your eyes are awfully glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

WIFE: Pack your bags; I’ve won the lottery. HUSBAND: Oh, wow! Are we going on holiday? WIFE: No! You’re leaving! I’ve won the lottery!

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Please share this post:

So, dear reader, did you enjoy these funny jokes to tell your friends? Were they as good as you’d hoped? Were they worth a few minutes of your time?

I hope so. If they did make you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, just click on the links below.

Phil Sutton

Articles you might enjoy:

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3 funny jokes for everyone in need of a laugh

03/11/2026 by

Here are three very funny jokes for everyone in need of a laugh or two today.

Enjoy them all, and please feel free to share them with your friends.

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Funny jokes for everyone:

1. The subtle art of getting even:

Seventeen-year-old Brandon arrived home one day, driving a fabulous Porsche 917K sports car.

Naturally, for his parents, witnessing his arrival, this was a jaw-dropping moment.

“Where the hell did you get that car, Brandon?” asks his father. “Did you steal it?”

“No, Dad,” replies Brandon. “I bought it.”

“Brandon,” says his mother, “a car like that would cost in excess of $10 million. How could you possibly have bought it?”

“Oh, Mom, you’re exaggerating,” says Brandon. “It only cost me fifteen dollars.”

“Fifteen dollars!” exclaims his father. “Who’d be mad enough to sell you a car like that for fifteen dollars?”

“It was Mrs Jones, who lives in that large mansion on my paper route,” replies Brandon. “She saw me on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

Well, Brandon’s mother and father felt compelled to visit Mrs Jones.

When Mrs Jones answered the knock on her door, Brandon’s father was quick with his questions: “Why would you sell my son a classic sports car for fifteen dollars? What the hell is going on?”

“It’s very simple, really,” Mrs Jones replied. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. He told me he’d decided to run off to a new life in Hawaii with his secretary. He said he wasn’t coming back, and he asked me to sell his Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”

2. Senior moment:

Betty, an elderly Florida lady, had been doing her shopping, and upon returning to her car, she found four young men in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

Being the feisty lady that she was, she dropped her shopping to the floor and then grabbed a Smith & Wesson 5906 from her purse and shouted as loud as she could, “Yes, I’m armed; yes, it’s loaded; and yes, I know how to use it! Get out of the car, punks!”

The four young men could see that this wasn’t a lady to be messed with, so they got out of the car and ran like hell.

Feisty as she was, naturally, Betty was still a little shaken by her experience, and the adrenaline was definitely pumping through her veins.

She loaded her shopping bags into the back of the car, and then she got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she couldn’t get her key into the ignition.

Well, she tried and tried, and then she realized why.

It was for the same reason that she was suddenly wondering why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 6-packs of beer on the rear seat.

Suddenly, it dawned on her that her own car was actually located seven spaces farther along the parking line.

“Oh dear!” she exclaimed to herself

So, she transferred her shopping into her own car, and then she drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four very pale young men were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, with curly white hair, who was armed and dangerous.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the Story: If you’re going to have a senior moment, make it memorable.

3. Medical cover:

Jim was out shopping in his local mall one day.

He’s browsing in a store when suddenly he suffers a serious heart attack.

Naturally, as soon as the clerks saw Jim collapse on the floor, they called 911.

Within minutes, paramedics are on the scene, and Jim is rushed to the nearest hospital, where he undergoes emergency open-heart bypass surgery.

A few hours later, Jim is awakened from his surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic hospital.

Sister Philomena, a young nun, is seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms and a pen.

“Sir,” says Sister Philomena. “I know this is a difficult moment for you, but I need to ask you, who is going to pay for your treatment? Do you have health insurance?”

“No mam, I don’t have any health insurance,” Jim responds, almost whispering.

“Well then, do you have any money in the bank?” asks Sister Philomena.

“No mam, I don’t have any money in the bank either,” Jim responds, once again, in an almost inaudible whisper.

Starting to get a little concerned, Sister Philomena asks, “Do you have any relatives who could help you with the payments?“

“Well, I only have a spinster sister, but she’s a nun,” Jim responds.

Sister Philomena is really irritated by this insensitive comment, and she announces loudly, for everyone to hear, “Sir, nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God!”

“Well then, that’s perfect,” says Jim. “You’ll be able to send the bill to my brother-in-law.“

Phil Sutton

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5 entertaining jokes guaranteed to raise a laugh or two

03/10/2026 by
5 entertaining jokes guaranteed to raise a laugh or two

If you enjoy entertaining jokes, then here are five that I’m confident will make you smile.

Enjoy them all and share them all with your friends.

entertaining jokes
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Entertaining jokes:

1. Softball fanatics:

Two 90-year-old women, Mabel and Lily, had been best friends all their lives.

Now Mabel had been in poor health for a couple of years, and it was clear that her last days were not too far away. Naturally, her good friend Lily visited her every single day.

One day, as they were chatting, Lily said, “Mabel, we’ve both enjoyed playing softball all our lives. Throughout high school and ever since, we’ve enjoyed playing the game we both love. So, do me a great favour. When you get to Heaven, please find a way to let me know whether I’ll be able to play softball with you when we’re both there.”

Mabel looked up from her deathbed and said, “Lily, you’ve been my best friend since we were children. If it’s at all possible, I will do this favour for you.”

They were to be Mabel’s last words because, sadly, she passed away silently in her sleep that very night.

The following night, Lily was awakened suddenly from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, “Lily, Lily!”

“Who is it?” said Lily.

“Lily,” said the voice, “it’s me, your friend, Mabel.”

“You can’t be Mabel,” said Lily. “Mabel passed away yesterday.”

“Lily, it’s me, Mabel,” insisted the voice.

“Mabel, where are you then?” asked Lily.

“I’m in Heaven,” said Mabel. “I’ve got some good news for you and a little bad news too.”

“What’s the good news?” asked Lily.

“Well, the good news is that women’s softball is played in Heaven,” said Mabel.

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” said Lily.

“Better still,” said Mabel, “all of our old buddies who died before me are here to play with too.”

“Really?” said Lily.

“Yes,” Mabel responded. “And even better than that, we’re all young again, it’s always springtime up here, and it never rains or snows. We can play softball whenever we want, and we never get tired.”

“Wow,” said Lily, “that’s fantastic. So, what’s the bad news?”

“You’ll be pitching next Tuesday?” Mabel responded.

2. Married bliss:

Jim and Jean had been married for over 30 years, and in all that time, they’d never fought, not even once.

One day, Jim and his friend Bill were talking, and Bill was impressed to hear about what sounded like such a harmonious relationship.

“How is that even possible?” Bill asked.

“Well,” said Jim, “when we got married, we stayed at my late uncle’s Texas ranch for our honeymoon. On the first day, we went out horse riding, and we hadn’t gone far before Jean’s horse jumped, and she fell off.”

“Really?” Bill exclaimed. “So, what happened then?”

“Well, as cool as you like,” said Jim, “Jean just got up, patted the horse, and then said, ‘This is your first time!'”

“Wow!” said Bill.

“After a while,” Jim continued, “it happened again. And again, Jean just got up, patted the horse, and said, ‘This is your second time!'”

“I’m guessing that’s not the end of the story,” said Bill.

“No,” said Jim. “It happened again, and this time she pulled out a gun and shot the horse.”

“No!” said a very surprised Bill. “What happened then?”

“I shouted at her,” said Jim. “Are you crazy? You’ve just killed a perfectly innocent animal!”

Jim paused momentarily and then continued, “She gave me a menacing look and then said, ‘This is your first time!'”

3. Smart sheepdog:

A farmer wants to check how many sheep he has in his field.

So he decides to ask his sheepdog to count them all.

The dog runs into the field, counts them all, and runs back to the farmer.

“How many?” the farmer asks.

“Forty,” says the dog.

“How can there be forty?” the farmer asks. “I only bought thirty-eight.”

“I rounded them up,” the dog responded.

4. Caring son:

“Hello,” said the voice. “Is this the police?”

“Yes,” said the operator. “How can we help you?”

“I’m calling to report Jim Brown,” said the voice.

“Why?” said the operator. “What’s he done?”

“He’s hiding drugs inside his wood store,” said the voice.

That very evening, after dark, the police swooped on the house of Jim Brown.

They search his wood store thoroughly and then, with sharp axes, they chop up every log, reducing them all to pieces of firewood.

The police find nothing, and so they leave empty-handed.

The next day, Jim Brown receives a telephone call from his son.

“Hi Dad, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come over to help you yesterday, but did the police arrive?” asked his son.

“Yes,” Jim responded.

“Did they chop up all your firewood?” his son asks.

“Yes, they did,” says Jim.

“That’s great, Dad,” says his son. “Happy birthday!”

5. The trip to Rome:

Jane was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled and ready for a trip to Rome with her husband.

Naturally, Jane is talking with her hairdresser, and she mentions how excited she is to be going on her forthcoming trip to the Eternal City.

“Rome?” said the hairdresser. “Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?“

“Well,” said Jane, “we’re flying American Airlines, and we got a really great deal on the tickets!“

“Oh, I just hate American Airlines,” said the hairdresser. “Their planes are old, their in-flight service is terrible, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?“

“We’ll be staying at this exclusive little place called the Hotel Splendide Royal,” Jane responded. “Oh, I just can’t wait.”

“Stop right there,” said the hairdresser. “I’ve heard about that place. Everybody thinks it’s special, but my friend told me it’s actually a real dump. So, what will you do while you’re there?“

“We’re going to see the Vatican,” said Jane, “and maybe we might even get to see the Pope.“

The hairdresser laughed, “You and a million other people will be trying to see the Pope, and, even if you do, he’ll look the size of an ant; you’ll be so far away. Sounds like a lousy trip. I wish you luck because you’re going to need it.“

Six weeks later, Jane’s back from her trip and sitting in the same hairdresser’s, having her hair styled once again.

Naturally, the hairdresser is interested in hearing all about Jane’s trip to Rome.

“Oh, it was wonderful,” said Jane, “the best vacation ever.”

“Really!” said the hairdresser. “In what way was it so great?”

“Well, first off, the brand-new plane we travelled on was overbooked, and so American Airlines very kindly upgraded us to First Class at no charge,” said Jane. “The in-flight service was terrific, the food and wine were just wonderful, we arrived bang on time, and the cabin crew couldn’t have been more attentive throughout the journey.”

“So, you got lucky with the flight,” said the hairdresser sarcastically. “How was the hotel?”

“Oh, my goodness, it couldn’t have been better,” said Jane. “It had recently had a major makeover, and because it was overbooked, we got upgraded to a suite at no charge. Best hotel experience ever.”

“Well, lucky you,” muttered the hairdresser. “I’ll bet you didn’t get to see the Pope, though.“

“Actually, we were very lucky,” said Jane. “We were walking around the Vatican when a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and said that the Pope would like to speak with me.”

“Oh, really!” said the hairdresser. “And what did the Pope have to say when you met him?“

“He said, ‘My God, woman, who made such a terrible mess of your hair?'” said Jane with a smile.

Phil Sutton

Please share these entertaining jokes:

So dear reader, were any of these entertaining jokes as amusing as you’d hoped? Did any of them really make you smile?

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends on social media.

People really do enjoy entertaining jokes, so please share this post now.

If you could share this post for me now, then I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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