Here’s another batch of short and silly but laugh our loud funny jokes just for you, dear reader. I hope they give you a few minutes of pleasure to brighten your day.
Today’s laugh out loud funny jokes:
- If I’m nobody;
- And nobody’s perfect;
- Then I must be perfect.
- Why are frogs so happy?
- They eat whatever bugs them.
- How do you befriend a squirrel?
- Act like a nut.
- Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
- Because they kept dropping their trunks.
- What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
- A chilly dog.
- What do call you a row of bunnies moving backwards?
- A receding hare line.
- Why was the paediatrician always losing his temper?
- Because he had little patients.
- What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel it’s good enough?
- Impasta syndrome.
- Would you like to hear a joke about construction?
- I’m still working on it.
- I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
He cried and gave me a big hug.
- My wife was complaining that I never take her anywhere expensive.
- So I said, “Come on, get in the car we’re going to the gas station.”
- They say 40 is the new 30
- But try telling that to a traffic cop.
- Relationships are like algebra.
- You look at your X and wonder Y.
- What did the green grape say to the purple grape!
- BREATH!
- What do you call a magic dog?
- A labracadabrador.
- You could say it was an emotional wedding.
- Even the cake was in tears.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No eye deer.
A guy assaulted me with milk, cream and butter.- How dairy.
- My ex-wife still misses me.
- But her aim’s improving.
- I own a pencil once owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
- Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
- People didn’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
- So I decided to raise the bar.
- The World Tongue-Twister Champion was up before the judge in court.
- I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.
- I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
- It’s a complex complex complex.
- I hate insects puns.
- They really bug me.
- I’ve been trying to lose weight.
- But it keeps finding me.
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