21 Extracts from funny complaints letters to make you smile

FUNNY COMPLAINTS LETTERSUnfortunately but true, people living in social housing tend to be at the lower end of the socio-economic scale. They often have limited education, so tend to be less articulate as well. The result for local councils can be some very funny complaints letters at times.

In Britain, local councils are the focal point for the provision of social housing, and they are the main recipients of what frequently turn out to be some funny complaints letters.

To illustrate my point, here are some extracts from funny complaints letters sent to local councils in Britain. All very innocent remarks, of course, but I’m sure the housing officers receiving these letters couldn’t resist a chuckle or two.

So take a few minutes to enjoy them all.

Funny complaints letters (1-10):

  1. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
  2. It’s the dog’s mess that I find hard to swallow.
  3. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
  4. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
  5. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
  6. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
  7. Their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
  8. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
  9. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can’t get BBC2.
  10. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

Funny complaints letters (11-21):

  1. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
  2. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
  3. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it’s a funny colour and not fit to drink.
  4. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
  5. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
  6. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
  7. The next-door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.
  8. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.
  9. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
  10. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
  11. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

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25 complaints about holidays that’ll make you smile

COMPLAINTS ABOUT HOLIDAYSThe problem with travel is that it can fail to meet our expectations. So, naturally, travel agents regularly get their fair share of complaints about holidays from their customers.

Here are 25 examples of complaints received by a well-known British travel agent, all of which certainly made me smile.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Complaints about holidays (1-10):

  1. No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were scared.
  2. The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.
  3. We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spaniards.
  4. Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg slicer in the drawers.
  5. On my holiday to India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.
  6. They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.
  7. We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white, but it was more like pale yellow.
  8. I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper British biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.
  9. It’s lazy for the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during siesta time. This should be banned.
  10. We booked an excursion to a water park, but no one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.

Complaints about holidays (11-20):

  1. I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.
  2. We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.
  3. It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.
  4. On our holiday in Rome, the tourist attractions were all full of tourists, so I couldn’t enjoy them properly.
  5. I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.
  6. It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.
  7. The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.
  8. When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.
  9. The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guidebook during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.
  10. My fiancée and I requested twin beds when we booked, but instead, we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.

Complaints about holidays (21-25):

  1. I was disappointed with my holiday in Thailand. It was like taking a vacation in a foreign country.
  2. When we arrived in Beirut, we were told that the local tap water wasn’t safe to drink, so we had to buy bottled water.
  3. The street signs in Tokyo were all in Japanese. As English is the international language, surely, they should all be in English?
  4. The local customs and traditions seemed very strange to us and that made us feel very uncomfortable. Your brochure didn’t mention that local culture might be different from our own.
  5. I was surprised to find that the local television channels in Latvia didn’t show the latest episodes of Coronation Street and EastEnders. Being away for two weeks meant I’ve now missed a big part of the current storylines.

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Did any of them make smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

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