3 funny short story jokes shared just for laughs

just-for-laughsHere are three very funny short story jokes shared with you just for laughs.

The aim is to brighten your day.

So enjoy them all.

Just for laughs:

1. Competing with a cat:

Jim’s a music producer searching for a job.

He’s looking through the ‘Wants Ads’ in one of the trade magazines, and he sees an advertisement stating MUSIC PRODUCER WANTED.

The advertisement states that candidates must be able to play the piano, type 40 words per minute and be bilingual. It also states EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.

This job sounded exactly like the sort of opportunity Jim had been looking for and, as he could match the job’s requirements, he sends off an application.

Within days, Jim is sitting in front of the hiring manager, as the latter is studying Jim’s resumé.

You have an excellent resumé,” says the hiring manager. “However I do have another candidate who can match what you can offer in every way. So I’m torn between you, particularly as we’re an equal opportunity employer.

Who’s the other candidate?” Jim asks.

Well, actually it’s the cat sitting over there,” says the hiring manager.

You can’t be serious,” Jim responds. “A cat can’t play the piano.”

The cat jumps up to the piano and starts playing a piece by Frédéric Chopin, beautifully.

As it finished, the cat then said, “MEOW!

Jim had to admit that the cat could play. However, he then said, “The cat may be able to play the piano but surely it can’t type 40 words a minute?

The cat jumps on the hiring manager’s Macbook and starts typing at 150 words a minute, typing out a short biography of Antonio Vivaldi in less than ten minutes.

As it finished, the cat once again said, “MEOW!

Jim had to admit that the cat could type too. However, he then said, “OK, the cat may be able to play the piano and type but how can it be bilingual?

With that, the cat said, “WOOF!

2. The inseminator:

Before heading to Main Street for a business meeting, a farmer spoke to his wife and said, “Sorry to burden you with a problem but there’ll be a guy along this afternoon to impregnate one of the cows.”

How will I know which cow?” his wife asked.

Well,” he responded, “I’ve hung a nail by the correct stall in the barn, so it’s obvious which one I want impregnating.”

The farmer’s wife knew next to nothing about farming, nor was she really that interested, but she nodded in agreement nevertheless.

That afternoon the inseminator arrived whilst the farmer was away.

The farmer’s wife led him to the barn and showed him the stall with the nail.

This is the cow right here,” she said.

 “Thank you, mam,” said the impregnator. He then looked around and he noticed the nail.

What’s the nail for?” he asked.

The farmer’s wife shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know. I guess it’s for you to hang your pants on.

3. The challenge:

Jake walks into a bar in Wichita, Kansas and as he’s about to order a beer, he notices an enormous jar on the counter. This jar’s stuffed full of $10 bills, so naturally Jake’s intrigued.

There must be $5,000 in that jar,” Jake says to the bartender. “What’s the deal there?

Well,” the bartender responds, “we’ve got a challenge going on right now.”

What’s the challenge?” asks Jake.

It’s simple really,” says the bartender. “You put $10 in the jar and if you can then pass three tests, you win the entire contents of the jar. Fail and your money remains in the jar. That way the cash mountain continues to build until someone wins.

Wow!” says Jake. “And what are the tests”?

You’ve got to put your money in the jar first,” says the bartender, “and then I’ll tell you.”

Jake puts a $10 bill in the jar as requested.

OK,” says the bartender. “So here’s the deal. First, you’ve got to drink a bucket full of pepper tequila. You’ve got to down it in one, without making a face. Second, there’s a vicious Rottweiler outback with a sore tooth. You’ve got to remove that tooth with your bare hands without the use of anaesthetic. Then third, there’s a 90-year-old woman upstairs. She wants someone to make love to her.”

Jeez!” says Jake. “I’ve paid $10 but I’m not a complete idiot. I’d have to be nuts to take up that challenge.

Your call, buddy,” says the bartender, “but your money stays in the jar.”

Jake decides he’ll just have a beer or two by way of consolation and take the $10 loss on the chin.

The beers are going down well and by the end of the evening, Jake’s had a belly-full of beer. He’s had so much beer he’s getting a bit tipsy, to say the least.

And now he’s fully loaded, he’s ready for anything.

OK buddy,” he says to the bartender, “where’s that tequila?

The bartender gives him a bucket full of peppered tequila and Jake grabs it with both hands. He raises the bucket to his mouth and downs the entire contents in one. His eyes are watering but he doesn’t make a face.

Jake puts the empty bucket on the bar and then he staggers outside where the vicious Rottweiler is chained to a post in the yard.

The customers in the bar can hear a commotion, the Rottweiler’s barking like crazy and Jake is shouting. The dog then yelps momentarily and this is followed by silence.

A few minutes later, Jake staggers back into the bar, bruised and battered and his shirt is ripped to shreds.

OK,” he says to the bartender, “now where’s this old woman with the sore tooth.

Jokes-just-for-laughsPlease share this post with your friends:

They were shared just for laughs, but did any of these funny story jokes really make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

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It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blog to reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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