4 contenders for funny stories of the day

funny-stories-of-the-day-1If you’re looking for funny stories of the day, then take a quick look at these four gems. They all tickled me and I hope they make you smile too.

Enjoy them all.

Funny stories of the day:

1. Traffic stop:

Jed and Wilma, an elderly couple, were driving to Buffalo to visit family.

Naturally, given their age, they shared the driving with a changeover each time they stopped for a comfort break.

Whilst Wilma was behind the steering wheel, she was pulled over by the Police.

Mam, did you know you were speeding?” said the Police officer.

Now Wilma was hard of hearing, so she turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?

In response, Jed yelled, “He says you were speeding!

Mam, may I see your driver’s license, please?” the Police officer asked politely.

Once again, Wilma turned to Jed and said, “What did he say?

Yelling, once again, Jed responded, “He wants to see your driver’s license!

Wilma searched through her purse and eventually found her driver’s license which she passed to the Police officer.

The Police officer checked her license details and then, by way of conversation, remarked with a smile, “Mam, I see you’re from New York City. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the most annoying woman I’ve ever met.

Once again, Wilma turned to Jed and asked, “What did he say?

He said he thinks he knows you!” yelled Jed.

2. The barber’s shop:

An old cowboy walks into a barber’s shop for a shave and a haircut.

Keen to ensure he gets the best shave possible, the cowboy explains to the barber that he can never get all his whiskers off because his cheeks were so wrinkled with age.

That’s no problem,” said the barber.

He then reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a little wooden ball.

The barber then says to the cowboy, “Just put this inside your cheek. We’ll do each side in turn and it’ll spread the skin out. With this, I’ll be able to give you a really close shave.

When the barber’s finished, the old cowboy is really pleased with the results.

On my, that’s the cleanest shave I’ve had in years,” he says.

As he’s handing back the wooden ball to the barber, he’s curious.

That little ball is a great idea, but what would’ve happened if I’d accidentally swallowed it?” asks the cowboy.

That wouldn’t have been a problem,” said the barber. “You could have just brought it back in a couple of days, as everyone else does.

3. Holiday in disguise:

Two Catholic priests went on vacation to Honolulu.

On this occasion, they were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as priests.

They wanted to enjoy this vacation just like regular people do.

So, as soon as the plane landed they went straight to a local beachwear store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, and sunglasses.

The next morning they decided to go for a walk along the beach dressed in their new clothes.

They were sitting in a beach bar enjoying a long, cool drink, taking in the sunshine and the scenery when an attractive blonde woman in a bikini came walking straight towards them.

This lady was truly stunning, so they couldn’t help but stare.

As she passed them she smiled and said to them in turn, “Good morning, Father,” and “Good morning to you too, Father.

They were both stunned into silence. How could she know they were both Catholic priests?

So later that day, they went back to the beachwear store and bought even more outrageous outfits. Outfits so loud, you could hear them a mile away.

The next day, dressed in their new, outrageous attire, they settled down once again in the beach bar to enjoy a cold drink.

Once again, the attractive blonde, wearing a different bikini, came walking towards them.

Again she nodded at each of them, and said, “Good morning, Father,” and “Good morning to you too, Father.

Well, the priests were shocked because they’d been recognised as priests once again.

Just a minute, young lady,” said one of the priests.

Yes, Father?” she responded.

Now it’s true, we’re priests and we’re proud of it,” he responded. “But how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?

Father, it’s me,” the blonde replied, “Sister Philomena!

funny-stories-of-the-day-24. Making an immediate impact:

The new CEO arrives for his first day in the office and he’s determined to let everyone know that he means business.

Having done a quick review of the Company’s financial position he decides his first act must be to reduce costs by getting rid of all the slackers who were not adding value to the business.

As he’s taking a tour of the Company’s facilities, there are workers everywhere but his eyes are immediately drawn to a guy leaning against a wall, apparently doing nothing in particular.

Seeing this as his chance to make an immediate impact, he walks over to the guy and asks, “How much money do you earn each week, son?

The guy is taken a little by surprise but he responds politely by saying, “Sir, I make around $400 per week. Why do you ask?

In response, the CEO says, “You just wait right here!

He then disappears into the Finance Department and minutes later he reappears holding a bundle of cash in his hands.

He hands the guy $1,600 and says, “That’s four weeks’ pay. Now get out of here and don’t come back.

The guy takes the money and disappears out the door as fast as he can.

Feeling like a real power boss, the CEO looks around and says, to no one in particular, “So, does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did around here?

From the back of the room, in a loud voice, someone responded, “He was the Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.

Please share this post with your friends:

They were shared for laughs, but did any of these funny stories of the day really make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blog to reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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