3 humorous story jokes to brighten your day

humorous story jokesIf you enjoy humorous story jokes then these three might just raise a smile. They all tickled me and I hope you’ll enjoy them too, dear reader.

Humorous story jokes:

1. The lawyer:

A wealthy New York lawyer is riding home in the back of a chauffeur-driven limousine after another lucrative day in the justice system.

As the limousine begins to gather speed along Central Park West, the lawyer notices two homeless men sitting on the ground in Central Park eating the grass.

The lawyer asks his driver to pull over and he lowers down the window and shouts to men.

Hey, guys,” shouts the lawyer, “why are you eating the grass?

We have no money to buy food and we’re hungry,” the first man responds.

You don’t have to eat in the middle of the park,” says the lawyer, benevolently. “You can come over to my place.”

But sir, we’re not alone,” said the second man, “Those two homeless guys over there are with us.”

That’s fine,” the lawyer responds. “Hop into my car and you can all eat at my place.”

So the homeless men all climb into the limousine and off they go to the lawyer’s house.

As the car picks up speed, the first homeless man says, “Sir, this is very kind of you.”

Don’t mention it,” says the lawyer. “You’ll love my place, the garden’s enormous and the grass is a foot high.

2. The police officer and the priest:

Police officer, Danny Malone, pulls over a catholic priest for driving erratically and swerving all over the road.

Officer Malone gets out of his police car and, as he approaches the window of the priest’s car, he notices what looks like a bottle of wine in a brown bag on the passenger seat next to the priest.

Suspicious that he may have a DUI violation on his hands, Officer Malone says, “Father, I pulled you over for driving erratically and swerving back there. You haven’t been drinking have you?

No, my son, I haven’t,” the priest responds. “Why would you ask me that?

Well you were swerving all over the road and struggling to control your vehicle,” says Officer Malone. “And now I can see you have a bottle on the seat next to you.

Oh my son,” the priest responds. “That’s just holy water.”

So why is it in a brown bag, father?” Officer Malone inquires.

To protect it from the sun’s rays, my son,” the priest responds

Really?” says Officer Malone. “Would you mind if I take a sip then, father?

Not at all, my son,” the priest responds. “Go ahead.”

Officer Malone takes the bottle from the priest and puts it to his lips. He takes a little sip and immediately spits it out on the ground.

Father, this is wine!” exclaims Officer Malone.

Praise the Lord!” the priest responds. “He’s done it again!

3. The hangover:

Following a very heavy night out with his buddies, Jerry wakes up at home the following morning with the mother of all hangovers.

His head is banging and as he forces his eyes to open, he sees a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the bedside table waiting for him.

He sits up in bed, and then he notices his clothing in front of him, all clean and freshly pressed.

Jerry looks around the room and sees that everything’s in perfect order and spotlessly clean.

He wanders downstairs with the glass of water and aspirins still in his hand and he notices a note on the living room coffee table, which reads, “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

Jerry walks into the kitchen and sure enough there’s a hot breakfast waiting for him, as well as the morning newspaper.

His son is sitting at the kitchen table, eating his breakfast.

Son, do you know what happened last night?” Jerry inquires.

Yes I do,” his son responds. “You came home after 3 am. You were drunk out of your mind and you could barely stand.”

Really?” says Jerry.

Yes, really!” said his son. “You also broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and you gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

At this point, Jerry is feeling a bit confused.

He thinks momentarily and then asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

Oh, that?” says his son, “Well, when mom dragged you to the bedroom and tried to undress you, you just kept shouting, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married’.”

Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these humorous story jokes, dear reader, then please share this post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

So go on, please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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