5 humorous story jokes to brighten your day

HUMOROUS STORY JOKESIf you enjoy humorous story jokes then these five might just raise a smile.

They all tickled me and I hope you’ll enjoy them too, dear reader.

And please, feel free to pass them on to your friends

Humorous story jokes:

1. The lawyer:

A wealthy New York lawyer is riding home in the back of a chauffeur-driven limousine after another lucrative day in the justice system.

As the limousine begins to gather speed along Central Park West, the lawyer notices two homeless men sitting on the ground in Central Park eating the grass.

The lawyer asks his driver to pull over and he lowers down the window and shouts to the men.

Hey, guys,” shouts the lawyer, “why are you eating the grass?

We have no money to buy food and we’re hungry,” the first man responds.

You don’t have to eat in the middle of the park,” says the lawyer, benevolently. “You can come over to my place.”

But sir, we’re not alone,” said the second man, “Those two homeless guys over there are with us.”

That’s fine,” the lawyer responds. “Hop into my car and you can all eat at my place.”

So the homeless men all climb into the limousine and off they go to the lawyer’s house.

As the car picks up speed, the first homeless man says, “Sir, this is very kind of you.”

Don’t mention it,” says the lawyer. “You’ll love my place, the garden’s enormous and the grass is a foot high.

2. The police officer and the priest:

Police officer, Danny Malone, pulls over a catholic priest for driving erratically and swerving all over the road.

Officer Malone gets out of his police car and, as he approaches the window of the priest’s car, he notices what looks like a bottle of wine in a brown bag on the passenger seat next to the priest.

Suspicious that he may have a DUI violation on his hands, Officer Malone says, “Father, I pulled you over for driving erratically and swerving back there. You haven’t been drinking have you?

No, my son, I haven’t,” the priest responds. “Why would you ask me that?

Well you were swerving all over the road and struggling to control your vehicle,” says Officer Malone. “And now I can see you have a bottle on the seat next to you.

Oh my son,” the priest responds. “That’s just holy water.”

So why is it in a brown bag, Father?” Officer Malone inquires.

To protect it from the sun’s rays, my son,” the priest responds

Really?” says Officer Malone. “Would you mind if I take a sip then, Father?

Not at all, my son,” the priest responds. “Go ahead.”

Officer Malone takes the bottle from the priest and puts it to his lips. He takes a little sip and immediately spits it out on the ground.

Father, this is wine!” exclaims Officer Malone.

Praise the Lord!” the priest responds. “He’s done it again!

3. Think laterally:

Zak is an old farmer down on his luck.

He’s been struggling to maintain his farm on his own since his son, Jack was sent to jail.

One day Zak writes to Jack in jail to let him know he’s struggling, and he writes the following: –

Dear Jack, I just wanted to let you know that this year I won’t be able to plant potatoes in the field. I’m just getting too old now and I can’t dig the field by myself. I know if you were here, you’d help me.

Naturally, Jack doesn’t want his father to experience any more trouble, so he quickly writes a letter back to him.

Dear Dad, Please don’t even think about digging that field because that’s where I buried the money I stole from the bank.

Well, when you’re in prison the authorities read the content of your letters before they go out in the mail.

So, it’s not long before the police show up at the farm and turn over the entire field in search of the stolen money. However, they don’t find anything.

A couple of days later Zak receives another letter from his son.

Dear Dad, Now the field’s been dug over, you should be able to go ahead and plant the potatoes. That’s the best I could do to help from here.

4. The hangover:

Following a very heavy night out with his buddies, Jerry wakes up at home the following morning with the mother of all hangovers.

His head is banging and as he forces his eyes to open, he sees a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the bedside table waiting for him.

He sits up in bed, and then he notices his clothing in front of him, all clean and freshly pressed.

Jerry looks around the room and sees that everything’s in perfect order and spotlessly clean.

He wanders downstairs with the glass of water and aspirins still in his hand and he notices a note on the living room coffee table, which reads, “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

Jerry walks into the kitchen and sure enough, there’s a hot breakfast waiting for him, as well as the morning newspaper.

His son is sitting at the kitchen table, eating his breakfast.

Son, do you know what happened last night?” Jerry inquires.

Yes I do,” his son responds. “You came home after 3 a.m. You were drunk out of your mind and you could barely stand.”

Really?” says Jerry.

Yes, really!” said his son. “You also broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

At this point, Jerry is feeling a bit confused.

He thinks momentarily and then asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

Oh, that?” says his son, “Well, when mom dragged you to the bedroom and tried to undress you, you just kept shouting, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married’.”

5. Judge not lest ye be judged:

A Wall Street investment banker walks into a Manhattan bar, and as he’s standing at the counter, he notices an elderly lady sitting, quietly in the corner.

Except for this lady, the bar is full of men relaxing and enjoying a drink after a lucrative day’s trading on the financial markets.

Well, the banker’s feeling good having just closed on a major, multi-million-dollar deal that included a sizeable commission for him.

So, he says to the bartender, “Buddy, I’m buying drinks for everyone, except that old woman over there.”

The bartender looks a little uncomfortable with this blatant sexism, but business is business, so he takes the banker’s money and proceeds to serve the drinks.

The banker looks across at the woman and raises his glass with a smirk on his face. However, she just smiles and says graciously, “Thank you, sir.”

This just irritates the banker, so he immediately orders another round of drinks for everyone, except the elderly lady.

Again, the bartender looks a little uncomfortable, but the drinks are served, and the banker’s money is gratefully taken.

Once again, the banker looks across at the woman and raises his glass with a smirk on his face. However, again, she just smiles and says graciously, “Thank you, sir.”

This just irritates the banker even more, so after a few minutes he orders yet another round of drinks as well as food for everyone, except the elderly lady.

Again, the bartender looks uncomfortable, but the drinks and the food are served and the banker’s money is taken.

Thinking now he must have made his point, the banker looks across at the woman again and raises his glass with a smirk on his face. However, again, she just smiles and says graciously, “Thank you, sir.”

What’s wrong with that old woman,” the banker asks the bartender, “I’ve just bought three rounds of drinks, as well as food for everyone, except for her, and instead of getting angry, she just smiles and thanks me. Is she stupid?

No, sir, she’s not stupid,” the bartender responds with a smile. “That’s Mrs O’Malley. She owns this bar.

Moral of the Story: If you must judge people, do so with great care.

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Entertaining JokesIf you enjoyed these humorous story jokes, dear reader, then please share this post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

So go on, please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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4 jokes that will make anyone laugh

JOKE THAT WILL MAKE ANYONE LAUGHIf you’re searching for humor and jokes to tell, dear reader, then this is the right place. There are some great jokes here but the question is, could one of these be the joke that will make anyone laugh? You tell me!

The joke that will make anyone laugh?

1. The Billionaire and his young bride:

Jed was an octogenarian, Texan billionaire who’d made his fortune in the oil industry.

Now, being a very wealthy man, he’d always attracted interest from women of every age.

One day, when he was judging a local beauty pageant he met the very beautiful and youthful Lucinda.

Well, Jed and Lucinda hit it off immediately and within weeks they were married.

On his wedding night, Jed explained to Lucinda that his only wish when he died was for all his wealth to be buried with him.

Naturally, Lucinda agreed to his wish without question.

Sadly after a couple of months of blissful married life with Lucinda, Jed passed away suddenly of a heart attack.

At the funeral, a tearful Lucinda walked up to the casket with an envelope in her hand. She then solemnly placed the envelope in the casket with her late husband.

As the priest looked on, he said to her, “What’s in the envelope, my child?

It was my husband’s final wish,” Lucinda responds. “He said he wanted to be buried with all his wealth.

Looking slightly confused, the priest said, “My dear, your husband was a billionaire, so how could all his wealth be in an envelope?”

Well,” Lucinda replied, “there was so much money in his bank account that I knew it wouldn’t all go in the casket. So, I transferred it all to my account and I’ve written him a check.

2. Bill and the rabbit:

Bill was driving along the road one night when he suddenly saw a rabbit in his headlights.

He tried to swerve to miss this cute, long-eared mammal but, as luck would have it, the rabbit moved in the same direction and Bill ran over it.

Being both sensitive and an animal lover, Bill was very upset by this accident and he pulled over to see if there was anything he could do.

He picked the rabbit up but to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. Bill felt so distressed by this experience that he started weeping, helplessly.

At this moment, a lady came by in her car and she could see that Bill was upset.

She pulled over and got out of her car.

Hello, I’m Jane,” she said. “What’s troubling you?

Bill explained what had happened, as he continued to sob uncontrollably.

Jane smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I’ve got something that will help.

She went back to her car and returned with a spray can.

She then sprayed the rabbit all over with the contents of the can and within minutes the rabbit woke up and jumped from Bill’s arms and hopped off into an adjacent field, waving to them as it went.

Bill was ever so grateful and he couldn’t thank Jane enough.

Wow,” he said. “What was in that can?

Jane handed him the can and on the label it said, HAIR SPRAY. RESTORES LIFE IN DEAD HAIR

3. The smartest person in the room:

An art teacher, a math teacher and a science teacher are all arguing about which one of them is the smartest.

That’s got to be me,” says the art teacher.

With that he brings out an exact copy of the Mona Lisa he’d painted.

This took me a month to paint and the detail is so exact that it proves I’m the smartest,” the art teacher continues.

Well, that’s nothing,” the math teacher responds.

She then brings out a large notebook in which she’d solved fifty, third-order differential equations by hand.

These are incredibly complex equations and most people would have to use a computer to solve them,” says the math teacher. “I solved them all by hand in a month and this proves I’m the smartest.

Don’t make me laugh,” the science teacher responds.

She then brings out a robot she’s built.

This robot can clean the house, wash the dishes, walk the dog and wash the car,” she says. “It took me just one month to build this bad boy, so please, a little respect here.

Listening to their conversation is the gym teacher who begins to laugh, uncontrollably.

You’re all idiots,” he says. “I think you’ll find I’m the smartest one here.”

Really?” says the science teacher. “And how did you reach that conclusion?”

Because I didn’t have to do any of that stuff and yet I get paid the same as you,” the gym teacher responds with a smile.

4. The sad passing of Forest Gump:

Sadly, Forest Gump passed away and he’s standing in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Welcome to Heaven, Forest,” says St Peter. “I’ve heard a lot about you.

They exchange a few pleasantries and then St Peter says, “Look, Forrest, I’m sorry to have to tell you this but there have been a lot of deaths this year and Heaven is getting a bit crowded now. So we have a new system that requires me to give everyone an entrance examination before they can be admitted through the Pearly Gates.

Really?” says Forest. “I hope it’s not too hard. My momma used to say, ‘Life is like a final exam. It’s hard.’ So I thought I’d already had the test.”

Yes, Forest, I know,” says St Peter. “However this test is just three questions. And the first question is which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?

Well, sir,” Forest responds, “That’s easy, it’s today and tomorrow.

Looking slightly surprised, St Peter says, “Well, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind but you do have a fair point, so I’ll give you credit for that answer.”

Forest smiled and said, “So what’s the next one?

This one’s more of a challenge,” says St Peter. “How many seconds are there in a year?

That’s easy too,” says Forest. “There are twelve seconds in a year.”

Twelve?” exclaims St Peter, looking surprised and more than a little confused. “How did you work that out?

Well there’s January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd all the way through to December 2nd” says Forest. “That’s twelve.”

Oh, I see what you mean,” says St Peter. “You do have a point, so I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too.

So, what’s the third question?” asks Forest.

My third question” St Peter responds. “What’s God’s first name?

What’s God’s first name?” Forest reacts, as he thinks momentarily. “It’s Andy.

Andy?” exclaims said St Peter, in complete shock. “How did you work that out?

Well sir, I learned it in church. It was mentioned in the hymns we used to sing,” says Forest. With that he began to sing, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own loving son.

St Peter smiles benevolently, opens the gates to Heaven and then shouts, “Run, Forest, Run!

Please share this post with your friends:

So were any of these the joke that will make anyone laugh, dear reader? I hope so or, if not, I hope they raised at least a smile or two from you.

If they did make you laugh then please share this post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

So go on, please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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4 funny jokes to cheer up a friend and make you smile

FUNNY JOKES TO CHEER UP A FRIENDIf you’re looking for some funny jokes to cheer up a friend, then how about these four I have on offer today?

I’ve told them to a few people recently and the responses have all been positive.

By positive I mean, laughter has followed.

So enjoy them all and feel free to share them with your friends.

Funny jokes to cheer up a friend:

1. The new store on Main Street:

Jerry and Mike were two young businessmen who were setting up a new store on Main Street.

The store wasn’t quite ready for opening yet, but at least all the shelves were now set up and located in their right places.

They’d had a very busy morning setting up those shelves, so they were now taking a well-earned break.

As they surveyed the results of all their hard work, Jerry said, “I’ll bet you any minute now someone will walk by, put their face to the window, and then ask what we’re selling.

Mike smiled, but before he could respond, there was a little old lady peering through the glass. In a soft voice, she said, “What are you selling here?”

Well, Jerry couldn’t resist a sarcastic response.

“We’re selling assholes,” he said.

Right back at him, the little old lady responded, “You’re doing really well then. You’ve only got two left!

2. The geek and the frog:

A geek is having his lunch on campus. It’s a beautiful spring day, so the geek is sitting on the grass outside the college building, brown bag in hand.

There’s a fountain close by and as he’s enjoying a sandwich, suddenly a frog hops from the water and straight over to speak to the geek.

Hello,” says the frog. “Thank goodness you’re here. I’m a beautiful princess, but I’ve been cursed by the wicked witch. A kiss from you will break the spell. If you could do that for me, I’ll be ever so grateful.

The geek stares at the frog momentarily, then picks it up without saying a word and puts it in his pocket. Having finished his lunch, he then gets up and heads back towards the college building.

The frog can’t believe what’s happening.

Hey, did you hear me?” the frog asks. “Kiss me, and you’ll have your own beautiful princess.

The geek pats the frog on the head and begins to whistle.

The Frog is starting to get a little concerned.

Please, help me,” says the frog. “I really don’t want to remain a frog. I want to be the princess I once was. If you kiss me, I’ll marry you. Then you’ll be royalty and you will lead a charmed life for as long as you live.”

Look, froggy,” says the geek. “I’m a computer software geek. I wouldn’t know what to do with a girlfriend. However, a talking frog? Now, that’s really cool.

3. The Affair:

A wealthy, married businessman from New York had been having an affair with an attractive Italian woman for a few months.

One night, during their regular rendezvous in Manhattan, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

For him, this was a huge problem, both in terms of the potential for reputational damage and the risk of a very expensive divorce.

So, he paid her a large sum of money and a regular monthly allowance on the basis that she agreed to go back to Italy to have the child.

He also promised her that if she stayed in Italy, he would pay her child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed to this proposal but then wondered how she could let him know when the baby was born.

We’ll have to use a code,” said the man. “To keep it discrete, send me a postcard when the baby is born. And to confirm the baby’s birth, just write Spaghetti on the back.

Nine months later, the wealthy businessman arrived home to find his wife looking very confused.

Honey,” she said, “you’ve received a very odd postcard today.”

Let me look,” he said.

His wife handed him the postcard and watched as he read it. He looked surprised, and quickly turned white, then red before he fainted.

On the postcard was written, “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.

4. The flying experience:

FUNNY JOKES TO CHEER UP A FRIENDBoarding was now complete on Flight 205 and all the passengers were seated and awaiting the pilot and co-pilot.

The pilot and co-pilot arrive, and as they climb up the steps to the plane, passengers notice they’re both wearing dark glasses and they both have long white sticks. They both actually appear to be blind, as they’re using the sticks to feel their way up the steps.

Well, naturally, the passengers start to freak out as they watch them struggle to feel the way into the cockpit, with the help of the cabin crew.

The cabin crew then prepare for departure, as if everything is normal, carrying out their final checks and so on.

Quickly, as it now all appears normal, the passengers start to calm down. They assume the pilot and co-pilot must have been having a joke at their expense.

Eventually, the plane moves off the stand and within minutes it is cleared for takeoff.

The plane is now racing down the runway.

At the end of the airport runway, there is a very steep cliff, falling away into the open sea.

As the plane speeds down the runway, there’s no sign of lift-off and the cliff edge is getting closer and closer by the second.

The passengers start screaming in panic but then suddenly the plane is airborne and, once again, calm returns.

In the cockpit at this moment, the pilot says to the co-pilot, “You know, one of these days, the passengers won’t scream early enough and we’re all going to die.”

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you enjoy these funny jokes to cheer up a friend? Were they as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

I hope so anyway.

If that’s the case then please share this blog post with your friends because when you share everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now on social media. If you can do that for me then I’ll be truly grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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