11 great one-liner jokes that will make your toes curl

Here are another 11 one-liners brought to my attention by readers over the past few weeks and which I thought I’d share with you.

I can’t be sure of their origins but they all made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too dear reader.

These are great one-liner jokes that will make your toes curl I’m sure. I hope so anyway. Enjoy them all.

Great one-liner jokes:

1. A girl’s thoughts when she starts dating a guy – Date #1: That’s a really nice shirt. Date #2: Wow. That’s another nice shirt. Date #3: That’s the shirt he wore on our first date. Date #4: OK, he’s only got two decent shirts.
2. The four sweetest words you can use when people didn’t listen to you? I told you so!
3. My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I definitely laugh more.
4. I prefer living in the past. At least the cost of housing was much cheaper.
5. Military personnel can be charged for losing equipment. In the army you’ll pay $150 for losing your rifle. That explains why, in the Navy, a captain will always go down with his ship.
6. I gave my wife the silent treatment for an entire week. At the end of it she said to me, “It’s been nice this week, we’ve really been getting on well.”
7. There’s a new support group for compulsive talkers. It’s called On Anon.
8. I’ve just found the worst page in my dictionary. The content is disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, disingenuous and disreputable.
Funny Quotes
9. Why bother keeping up with the Joneses when you could drag them down to your level. Surely it’s less expensive that way?
10. For Christmas or birthdays, buy your kids a set of batteries and just put a note inside saying “Toys not included.”
11. My favourite hobby is going down to the beach and burying metal objects that have the words “Get a Life” inscribed on them.

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Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

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