Here are another 11 one-liners brought to my attention by readers over the past few weeks and which I thought I’d share with you.
I can’t be sure of their origins but they all made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too dear reader.
These are great one-liner jokes that will make your toes curl I’m sure. I hope so anyway. Enjoy them all.
Great one-liner jokes:
- A girl’s thoughts when she starts dating a guy – Date #1: That’s a really nice shirt. Date #2: Wow. That’s another nice shirt. Date #3: That’s the shirt he wore on our first date. Date #4: OK, he’s only got two decent shirts.
- The four sweetest words you can use when people didn’t listen to you? I told you so!
- My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I definitely laugh more.
- I prefer living in the past. At least the cost of housing was much cheaper.
- Military personnel can be charged for losing equipment. In the army you’ll pay $150 for losing your rifle. That explains why, in the Navy, a captain will always go down with his ship.
- I gave my wife the silent treatment for an entire week. At the end of it she said to me, “It’s been nice this week, we’ve really been getting on well.”
- There’s a new support group for compulsive talkers. It’s called On Anon.
- I’ve just found the worst page in my dictionary. The content is disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, disingenuous and disreputable.
- Why bother keeping up with the Joneses when you could drag them down to your level. Surely it’s less expensive that way?
- For Christmas or birthdays, buy your kids a set of batteries and just put a note inside saying “Toys not included.”
- My favourite hobby is going down to the beach and burying metal objects that have the words “Get a Life” inscribed on them.
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Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.
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