29 examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult

examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insultHave you ever had that experience where someone tests your patience and you only wish you’d had the right witty insult on the tip of your tongue and ready to let them know that you’re not someone that will suffer fools for too long?

It’s always useful to had a stock of sarcastic responses ready to hand for such occasions.

In today’s post I offer you another 29 examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult. I hope at least one or two of them will also raise a smile with you too.

I hope these provide you with some ammunition next time you need it.

Sarcasm and witty insults:

  1. Do I know who you are? Why? Don’t you?
  2. Clearly wit is a skill you’ve yet to master.
  3. Would it really hurt to smile occasionally?
  4. If your aim was to irritate me then you’re plan is working so far.
  5. You’re confusing me with someone who cares about what you think?
  6. I’m not sarcastic; I’m just allergic to stupid
  7. Take your time buddy, it’s not like the rest of us have stuff to do.
  8. That you’ve survived this long without a brain is a miracle of modern science.
  9. Now who might you be and why should it matter to me?
  10. You’re wearing that shirt as part of a ‘get noticed’ strategy, aren’t you?
  11. Oh, you were talking to me? I’m sorry I thought there was something wrong with you.
  12. Listen tiger, if you’re trying to impress me then it’ll take a bit more than a vanilla latte with a blueberry muffin on the side.
  13. I’m sure your mother thinks you’re important but guess what? The rest of world doesn’t agree.
  14. Your disdain for your customers suggests you’d be wise to consider another line of work.
  15. Some people have genuine talent and then there are deluded people like you.
  16. examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insultI may have had a bit too much to drink mam but tomorrow I’ll be sober, whereas you’ll still be ugly.
  17. $10 for an iced tea with a twist and a little umbrella? I just wanted a drink; I wasn’t trying to purchase the entire bar.
  18. Have you always been a pain in the ass or did you need special training?
  19. You’ve got a face on you like you’ve been sucking sour lemons for a week.
  20. If you’re pleasant with others you might find they’ll be a bit more agreeable with you. Try it, the results might surprise you.
  21. Clearly you’re bereft of talent but I admire your willingness to have a go anyway.
  22. If your aim was to insult me, you’ll need to do a lot better than that buddy.
  23. There’s nothing like exceptional customer service and that was nothing like exceptional customer service.
  24. Regardless of what you seem to think, being polite to people hasn’t gone out of fashion.
  25. Well we’ve now established that you can be really stupid when you want to be. So what else are you good at?
  26. So you’ve got a few qualifications. That just means you’re quite good at remembering stuff. So what?
  27. Have you ever thought of getting a personality transplant? Certainly the one you’ve got now is not helping your cause.
  28. I wasn’t accusing you of being overweight but you’re certainly taking the idea of bloating to a whole new level.
  29. I wouldn’t say you’re slow as such but you do leave me with the impression that you’re someone who’s a nickel short of a dime. 

examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insultPolite request:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult actually made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more examples of sarcasm? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

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