30 one-line jokes corny enough to make you smile

Here are 30 one-line jokes that are corny enough to make you smile. They’re all full groan but I’m confident you’ll like them. Well, just a little, at least.

Enjoy them all and please feel free to pass them on.

One-line Jokes (1-10):

  1. If an octopus wins the war, does that mean it was well-armed?
  2. If a cow doesn’t produce milk, does that mean it’s an udder failure?
  3. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, does that mean it’s a success?
  4. If you steal a calendar, does that mean you get twelve months?
  5. If a turtle loses its shell, does that mean it’s homeless or just naked?
  6. If a ghost gets lost in the fog, does that mean it’s mist?
  7. If you eat a meal in space, does that mean your food is out of this world?
  8. If a snowman gets angry, does that mean he has a meltdown?
  9. If you eat clownfish, does that mean you find things funnier?
  10. If a mime artist is arrested, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

One-line Jokes (11-20):

  1. If you try to fail and succeed, does that mean you’ve done both or neither?
  2. If a clock is still hungry, does that mean it goes back four seconds?
  3. If a cemetery raises its prices, does that get reflected in the cost of living?
  4. If you’re addicted to brake fluid, does that mean you can stop at any time?
  5. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean the rest follow?
  6. If you buy a bigger bed, do you have more bedroom or less?
  7. If an electric car runs out of power, does that mean it’s exhausted?
  8. If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still listen to his iPhone?
  9. If a psychic knows the future, does that mean they can always pick the winner in the Grand National?
  10. If a cloud has a silver lining, does that mean it pays taxes?

One-line Jokes (21-30):

  1. If a pair of binoculars wins the lottery, do they see double the money?
  2. If a mime artist wins an award, does he get a standing ovation?
  3. If a book about paranoia falls off a shelf, does that mean someone’s watching?
  4. If a conspiracy theorist wins the state lottery, does that prove the government is fixing things?
  5. If a chameleon walks into a bar, does the bartender say, “Hey, I’ve not seen you around!”
  6. If a diary loses a page, does that mean it has a short month?
  7. If a vacuum cleaner sucks at its job, does that mean it gets fired?
  8. If a pair of headphones gets tangled, does it mean they’re in a complicated relationship?
  9. If a cloud is crying, does that mean it will rain cats and dogs?
  10. If a lightbulb gets an idea, does it suddenly shine brighter?

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35 Bad jokes that are funny and will make you smile

bad jokes that are funnyIf you’re looking for some bad jokes that are funny and will make you smile, then here are 35 original jokes, written just for you, and which I hope you will enjoy.

Please feel free to pass them on.

Bad jokes that are funny (1–7):

  1. I was asked whether I knew Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. What could I say? I didn’t even know Lincoln had a home in Gettysburg.
  2. Have you heard about the new cookbook just published? It’s written by a well-known television adventurer and survival expert. It has some great tips for cooking meat on a campfire when you’re stuck in the jungle. The book’s called Bear Grills.
  3. I had tickets to see a play at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre in London. I was excited until my boss said I had to work late on some project that I thought was a crock of that which stinks. I told him I’d lose my money if I didn’t go. He told me I’d lose my job if I didn’t work late. “That’s not fair,” I said. He smiled and said, “Well, it looks like you’re stuck between a crock and the Bard’s place.”
  4. Did you hear the one about the man who walked into a bar? There was a warning sign, but he wasn’t paying attention.
  5. I was leaving the subway at 42nd Street when I stumbled. I reached out and grabbed a pole. The guy really wasn’t happy, and he started swearing at me in his own language.
  6. Imagine my dilemma. It’s late at night, dark, and I’m walking alone along 9th Avenue through Hell’s Kitchen. Suddenly, I’m confronted by a sinister guy with a bat in his hand. It was tense, I can tell you, but then the bat flew off, and the guy went chasing after it.
  7. The health inspector was inspecting the kitchen in the restaurant I managed, and he said he’d found a live beetle under the refrigerator. “Which one?” I said, Paul or Ringo?”

Bad jokes that are funny (8–14):

  1. When I was in school, I got into trouble for truancy. As it wasn’t the first time, I was told the principal would throw the book at me. She did. It was the Encyclopaedia Britannica.
  2. I asked a girl in the office for a date. She said she didn’t have any, but she did ask whether I’d like one of the figs from her lunchbox.
  3. The receptionist walked into my office, and she was shouting that she had an axe to grind. I told her that wasn’t something we dealt with in the Accounts Department.
  4. My boss asked me whether I could date the letter he had in his hand, but I told him I preferred to date girls.
  5. They asked me if I could play a bass. No, I said, but I can cook a mean seabream.
  6. My mother asked me whether I’d received a letter at school today. “Yes,” I said, “I got a D in Science.”
  7. My boss told me that I had a chip on my shoulder. Well, it might seem a bit odd, but there’s no law against using Pringles to accessorize your clothes.

Bad jokes that are funny (15–21):

  1. BAD JOKES THAT ARE FUNNYThe other day, I went down to the river, and there was a gang fight between a shoal of Carp and a shoal of Perch. I couldn’t quite comprehend what I was seeing until another angler said, “We’re fishing in troubled waters.”
  2. Two electrons were the best of buddies. Well, why wouldn’t they be when they were both on the same wavelength?
  3. My friend said, “I need help. Can I tap you for $1,000?” I said, “For $1,000, you can hit me over the head with a baseball bat.”
  4. I’ve just read a statistic that suggests 65% of bald men still carry a comb. Apparently, they just can’t part with it.
  5. It was a cold night, and I was on the Staten Island Ferry, standing on deck, gazing out at the Statue of Liberty. A guy approached me, waving an unlit cigarette, and he said, “Got a light, Mac?” I smiled and said, “No, but can I offer you a dark brown overcoat?
  6. I was in a coffee shop in Manhattan, and I couldn’t get the Wi-Fi to work. I asked the girl behind the counter to help me. She said it was faulty, and I’d have to pretend it was 1973. So, I gave her a dime for my coffee and lit up a cigarette.
  7. We were walking through Central Park when my wife shouted, “Duck!” Naturally, I dipped my head as I looked up for an airborne obstacle. That was when I tripped over a large Wood duck, fell flat on my face, and broke my nose. The Moral of the Story: Consider your wife’s advice carefully before acting.

Bad jokes that are funny (22-28):

  1. When my wife came down to breakfast, she asked what was left. Apparently, the opposite of right wasn’t helpful.
  2. We were in the garden, and my wife said she was looking for a pole. She wasn’t amused when I asked, “Which one, north or south?
  3. I’ve just seen a twelve-inch ruler. You wouldn’t think someone so small could become a nation’s monarch, would you?
  4. I was looking forward to my lunch date, but my friends just dismissed it as a sweet Middle Eastern fruit.
  5. How was my trip? Let me tell you, how was my trip? I fell flat on my face and broke my nose.
  6. Did you know that the song overwhelmingly voted favourite by textile workers everywhere is Die Another Day?
  7. At the job interview, I was asked if I could perform under pressure. “No,” I said, “but I could probably do a passable version of Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Bad jokes that are funny (29–35):

  1. The questionnaire asked whether I liked rock. It wasn’t obvious whether they meant riff-driven popular music or the famous sweet confectionery from Blackpool.
  2. I’m so old that I can remember when the Super Bowl was just the slightly inflated bowl.
  3. This morning, I noticed I had a large mole on my back. How it got in from the garden, I’ll never know.
  4. I started work on a construction site, and the foreman asked me whether I was familiar with boring. “Sure,” I said. “I can be as boring as the best of them.
  5. My wife said she was looking for a ruler. Apparently, you’ll find King Charles in Buckingham Palace, wasn’t helpful.
  6. When the waitress served my toast this morning, she asked me what I thought of the jam. “They’re okay,” I said, “but I prefer the Electric Light Orchestra.
  7. I asked a friend could he recommend a small arms manufacturer. He said, “Have you tried Smith & Wesson?” I said, “I didn’t even know they made prosthetic limbs for young children.

Please share with your friends:

Bad jokes that are funnySo dear reader, did any of these bad jokes that are funny prove to be as funny as you’d hoped?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read today, please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, then I would be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

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Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All rights reserved.

39 funny Disney jokes to raise a smile

Funny Disney JokesIf it’s funny Disney jokes you’re looking for, dear reader, then here are some light-hearted funnies just for you.

I hope they make you smile and brighten your day.

If you do enjoy them, please feel free to pass them on.

Funny Disney Jokes (1-10):

  1. What did Mickey Mouse have for dessert? Mice cream!
  2. How does Ariel stay in touch with her friends? Sea-mail!
  3. Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut? To visit Pluto!
  4. How did the Genie fit everything into his lamp? With difficulty!
  5. Why was Tinkerbell feeling blue? She was having a fairy bad day!
  6. Why did Donald Duck watch the news? To get the feather forecast!
  7. What did Quasimodo say after winning the lottery? I’m ringing in the cash!
  8. Why did the Disney cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
  9. Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants to play golf? In case he got a hole in one!
  10. Why don’t Disney characters listen to the media anymore? They’ve heard enough fairy tales!

Funny Disney Jokes (11-20):

  1. What does Ariel use to call her friends? A shell phone!
  2. What kind of shoes does Mickey Mouse wear? Squeakers!
  3. Why does Peter Pan never get his feet dirty? He Neverlands!
  4. What did Nala tell Simba after he was walking too slowly? Mufasa!
  5. Why did Woody give Bullseye some water? Because he was a little horse!
  6. Why was Cinderella bad at basketball? Because she ran away from the ball!
  7. Why did Captain Hook become a chef? Because he’s great at hooking up a good meal!
  8. Why did Snow White treat each dwarf equally? Because she’s the fairest of them all.
  9. What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t show up? Someday my prints will come!
  10. What did the postcard say to the stamp at the Disney post office? Stick with me, and we’ll go places!

Funny Disney Jokes (21-30):

  1. 39 FUNNY DISNEY JOKESHow does Ariel like her toast? With mermelade!
  2. Where does Olaf keep his money? In a snowbank!
  3. Why was the broom late in Fantasia? It overswept!
  4. How does the Little Mermaid wash her fins? With Tide!
  5. What do you call a fairy who never bathes? Stinkerbell!
  6. Why couldn’t Mickey surf the web? He didn’t have a mouse pad!
  7. What did Dumbo do before he went on holiday? He packed his trunk!
  8. Why did Goofy bring a ladder to the bar? He’d heard the drinks were on the house!
  9. Why did Daisy Duck say she was always calm? Because she’s never quacking under pressure!
  10. Why do the Seven Dwarfs dance while they play? Because the hills are alive with the sound of music!

Funny Disney Jokes (31-39):

  1. Why wouldn’t Piglet use the toilet? He saw Pooh on it!
  2. What is Tarzan’s favourite Christmas carol? Jungle Bells!
  3. Why did Dopey take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
  4. How did Gaston get the baking job? By egg-saggerating his skills!
  5. What does a Disney princess use to unlock her room? A-riel key!
  6. What did the Jungle Book teach us about bananas? They’re apeeling!
  7. Why did Aladdin go to the bank? To check his balance on the flying carpet!
  8. Why was Eeyore always calm during tests? He knew how to stay relaxed under ass-essment!
  9. Why did Goofy stare at the computer screen? Because he wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!

Please share with your friends:

Funny Disney JokesSo dear reader, did any of these funny Disney jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read today, please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, then I would be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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