27 corny but funny puns to raise a smile or two

If you like funny puns then I’ve put together a batch of very corny ones in the hope it will raise a smile or two. They all made me smile but for me the cornier the pun the better.

I hope you enjoy them all dear reader.

Funny puns:   

1. Odorless chemicals just don’t make scents.
2. I love how the Earth rotates. It really makes my day.
3. I was working in a glue factory, but I couldn’t stick with it.
4. Surely writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
5. The cost of the space program is astronomical.
6. I was inconsolable when my PlayStation was stolen.
7. Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.
8. I googled “how to start a fire” and got 869,000 matches.
9. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
10. I used to be a history teacher, but there’s no future in it.
11. How’s my long-distance relationship going? So far, so good.
12. I canceled my gym membership because it wasn’t working out.
13. Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
14. I felt lonely, so I bought some shares. It’s nicer to have some company.
15. If you’re thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
16. To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy now.
17. I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents told me the sky was the limit. 
18. I sued the airport for mislaying my baggage, but I lost my case.
19. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator, and only a fraction of people will find that funny.
20. I get really claustrophobic in elevators, so I’ve started taking steps to avoid it.
21. Tennis players have a hard time in relationships because love means nothing to them.
22. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!
23. A rubber band slingshot was confiscated in an algebra class for being a weapon of math disruption.
24. What’s the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire. 
25. The thing about shopping centers is that once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen a mall.
26. My housemate told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went out and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
27. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse replied “No change yet.”

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If you fancy some more laughs then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Thank you.

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