30 one-line jokes corny enough to make you smile

Here are 30 one-line jokes that are corny enough to make you smile. They’re all full groan but I’m confident you’ll like them. Well, just a little, at least.

Enjoy them all and please feel free to pass them on.

One-line Jokes (1-10):

  1. If an octopus wins the war, does that mean it was well-armed?
  2. If a cow doesn’t produce milk, does that mean it’s an udder failure?
  3. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, does that mean it’s a success?
  4. If you steal a calendar, does that mean you get twelve months?
  5. If a turtle loses its shell, does that mean it’s homeless or just naked?
  6. If a ghost gets lost in the fog, does that mean it’s mist?
  7. If you eat a meal in space, does that mean your food is out of this world?
  8. If a snowman gets angry, does that mean he has a meltdown?
  9. If you eat clownfish, does that mean you find things funnier?
  10. If a mime artist is arrested, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

One-line Jokes (11-20):

  1. If you try to fail and succeed, does that mean you’ve done both or neither?
  2. If a clock is still hungry, does that mean it goes back four seconds?
  3. If a cemetery raises its prices, does that get reflected in the cost of living?
  4. If you’re addicted to brake fluid, does that mean you can stop at any time?
  5. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean the rest follow?
  6. If you buy a bigger bed, do you have more bedroom or less?
  7. If an electric car runs out of power, does that mean it’s exhausted?
  8. If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still listen to his iPhone?
  9. If a psychic knows the future, does that mean they can always pick the winner in the Grand National?
  10. If a cloud has a silver lining, does that mean it pays taxes?

One-line Jokes (21-30):

  1. If a pair of binoculars wins the lottery, do they see double the money?
  2. If a mime artist wins an award, does he get a standing ovation?
  3. If a book about paranoia falls off a shelf, does that mean someone’s watching?
  4. If a conspiracy theorist wins the state lottery, does that prove the government is fixing things?
  5. If a chameleon walks into a bar, does the bartender say, “Hey, I’ve not seen you around!”
  6. If a diary loses a page, does that mean it has a short month?
  7. If a vacuum cleaner sucks at its job, does that mean it gets fired?
  8. If a pair of headphones gets tangled, does it mean they’re in a complicated relationship?
  9. If a cloud is crying, does that mean it will rain cats and dogs?
  10. If a lightbulb gets an idea, does it suddenly shine brighter?

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27 cheesy dad jokes that will tickle you silly

If you’re looking for some cheesy dad jokes, then here are 27 little gems that might just tickle you.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all.

Cheesy Dad Jokes:


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Were these cheesy dad jokes funny?

Did they make you smile?

If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

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15 stupid jokes that are funny

stupid jokes that are funnyIf you’re looking for some stupid jokes that are funny, dear reader, then I have 15 for you today that I’m confident will make you laugh.

So, grab a cup of coffee, relax and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Stupid jokes that are funny (1-5):

  1. Last week, I went on a first aid course and the instructor asked me what I’d do if my child swallowed a door key. Apparently “I’d climb through the window,” wasn’t the right answer.
  2. Barber: How would you like your hair cut sir? Customer: In silence, please.
  3. Yesterday, I was persuaded to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at first, but they told me it’s for blind and disabled kids, so I thought I’d have a decent chance of winning.
  4. Wife:Just look at that couple over there, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?Husband:Are you mad? I don’t even know the woman!
  5. It’s been so cold recently that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Stupid jokes that are funny (6-10):

  1. After years of study at university, finally, I’m a PhD, or as I’m better known, a Pizza Hut Deliveryman.
  2. Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common? A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
  3. It is a fact that light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear to be quite bright until you hear them talk.
  4. Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man in central London and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money,” the robber demanded. “You can’t do this I’m a Member of Parliament!” the man replied, “Oh! In that case,” smiled the robber, “give me MY money!
  5. My wife keeps berating me for being unkind to one of my kids, but I don’t know which one she means. I think I treat Bobby, Cindy, and the fat, ugly one all the same.

Stupid jokes that are funny (11-15):

  1. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally, I was forced to take his bike away from him.
  2. Q: What can you hold without ever touching it? A: A conversation.
  3. Mike arrives home one evening, unannounced, with his best buddy, Pete, and asks his wife, Jane, if she can make dinner for him and Pete. Naturally, Jane’s not happy and she starts screaming at Mike, as the two men just sit and listen. “What are you doing to me?” shouts Jane. “My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, and it’s too late to expect me to start cooking now. Why the hell did you bring him home anyway?” Mike hesitates momentarily and then says, “Because Pete’s thinking of getting married, so I thought it would be helpful if I showed him what married life is like!
  4. Jim’s driving home from work when he gets a call from his wife, Irene, on his cell phone. “Be careful on the road, honey. I’ve just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way down the highway,” says Irene. “It’s not just one car,” Jim responds, “there are literally thousands of them!
  5. Dick and Roger are two elderly gentlemen eating breakfast together in a restaurant one morning. Roger notices something funny in Dick’s ear. “Hey, Dick,” says Roger. “Do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” Dick fiddles with his ear, pulls out the suppository, stares at it momentarily and then says, “Well I’ll be darned, now I think I know what I did with my hearing aid.

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17 cheesy jokes guaranteed to raise a smile

CHEESY JOKESOnce again I’ve been surfing the Internet looking for humour and smiles.

On this occasion, I was looking for cheesy jokes.

So here are 17 cheesy jokes I found that should make you smile today I hope.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t identify the authors but should you be one of them please let me know and I will add a suitable credit and link to your work.

Cheesy jokes:

  • What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles? 
  • UCLA 

 

  • Which US State has the smallest soft drinks? 
  • Mini-soda 

 

  • Where do pencils go for vacation? 
  • Pencil-vania

 

  • What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer?
  • A loose Canon

 

  • What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? 
  • A Bagel 

 

  • Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? 
  • The Old Volks home!

 

  • What did the fisherman say to the magician? 
  • Pick a cod, any cod!

 

  • Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?
  • Because he was on a roll 

 

  • Why did the poor man sell yeast? 
  • To raise some dough

 

  • How do snails fight? 
  • They slug it out

 

  • Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? 
  • Because he wanted to see time fly! 

 

  • What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun? 
  • I just love baskin’ robins

 

  • What do lawyers wear to court? 
  • Lawsuits! 

 

  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? 
  • He wanted cold hard cash!

 

  • What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? 
  • I don’t know and I don’t care. 

 

  • How does NASA organize a party?
  • They planet

 

  • What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand? 
  • Quattro Sinko 

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Were these cheesy quotes funny? Did they make you smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

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21 silly jokes guaranteed to make your kids smile

Silly JokesKids love silly jokes and quite a few adults do too, including me. Whenever I hear silly jokes I always make a note of them in my journal. Well, they’re always useful for breaking the ice at dinner parties, if nothing else.

Anyway, today I thought I’d trawl through my journal and put together a collection of some of the best silly jokes just for you dear reader and I hope you enjoy them all.

Certainly, I did, both the first time around and on reviewing them now.

Yes, they’re all very silly but they’re guaranteed to make your kids smile.

Silly Jokes:

  • Why did the ant elope?
  • Nobody gnu
  • Why do skunks argue?
  • They like to kick up a stink
  • How do you arrest a pig?
  • Put it in ham cuffs
  • Why do horses look sad?
  • They have long faces
  • Why do coyotes call at night?
  • The rates are cheaper
  • What animal never gets wet?
  • An umbrellephant
  • What makes a chicken blush?
  • Henbarrassment
  • In what key does a cow sing?
  • Beef flat
  • Why don’t anteaters get sick?
  • They’re full of antibodies
  • How do rodents keep their breath fresh?
  • Using mousewash
  • What did the parrot say to the spaniel?
  • I’m a cocker too
  • How do you eat an elephant?
  • One bite at a time
  • What sound does a space turkey make?
  • Hubble, Hubble, Hubble
  • Why are giraffes brave?
  • Because they’re always sticking their next out
  • How many skunks does it take to stink out a room?
  • A phew
  • How does a dolphin make a decision?
  • Flipper coin
  • How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
  • You get a buzzy tone
  • What’s even better than the cat’s whiskers?
  • The bee’s knees
  • What happened when two American stoats got married?
  • They became the United Stoats of America
  • What do you get from a chicken who’s been drinking whisky?
  • Scotch eggs
  • What’s goes through a fly’s mind on impact with your windscreen?
  • Its ass

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25 brilliant short jokes to make you smile

brilliant short jokesIf you’re looking for some brilliant short jokes to make you smile, dear reader, then I have some here today that will tickle you.

So, take a few minutes and enjoy them all.

And feel free to share them with your friends.

Brilliant short jokes (1-10):

  1. What do ticks and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They’re both Paris-sites.
  2. l asked my boss when his birthday was. He said, “March 1st.” So, I stood up, walked around the office, and asked again.
  3. My girlfriend said she’s leaving me because I’m balding. Well, it’s hair loss.
  4. If a drummer comes out of retirement will there be repercussions?”
  5. The other day I spotted an Albino dalmatian. Well, it was the least I could do for him.
  6. It’s a 5-minute walk from my house to my local bar. However, it’s a 45-minute walk from the bar back to my house. The difference is staggering.
  7. I bought lettuce from a small grocery store called Mamas & Papas but I can’t eat it. All the leaves are brown.
  8. If I ate six bowls of alphabet soup before bed, would it result in a massive vowel movement the following morning?
  9. I said to my boss that I needed a pay rise because three other companies were after me. “Which ones?” he asked. “Electricity, Gas, and Water,” I replied.
  10. I bought a new pair of gloves today, but it turns out that they’re both ‘lefts’. On the one hand, that’s fine, but on the other, it’s not right.

Brilliant short jokes (11-20):

  1. Charles Dickens walked into a Manhattan bar and ordered a martini. “Olive or twist?” said the bartender.
  2. I’ve started promoting the health benefits of eating dried grapes. Naturally, I’m raisin awareness.
  3. OMG! I’ve just found out that Albert Einstein was a real person! And here was me thinking he was just a theoretical physicist.
  4. I’ve just spent the day listening to the Doors. I really must oil the hinges.
  5. My girlfriend runs a battery kiosk at the local park. She sells C cells by the seesaw.
  6. I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out that I’d been seeing Claire Lee behind her back. At least, I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine is gone!
  7. I went to my doctor with hearing problems. He said, “Can you describe the symptoms?” I said, “Yes, Homer’s the fat bloke and Marge is the woman with blue hair.”
  8. Looking for an easy way to turn your sofa into a sofa bed? Try forgetting your wife’s birthday, that should do it.
  9. My wife was bitten by a radioactive owl and now she’s making all my decisions for me. It seems she has power of a tawny.
  10. I joined a Carpenter’s Class the other day, but we haven’t made anything yet. We’ve only just begun.

Brilliant short jokes (21-25):

  1. I wasn’t too happy when my doctor told me to cut down on my constant dancing, so I just grabbed my coat and waltzed right out of there.
  2. Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it’s eaten. It’s called a wedding cake.
  3. My Uncle Artie is always making funny vegetable puns. I must say, I love Artie jokes.
  4. I pulled out a nose hair today to see if it hurt. Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the bus, I’d say it was pretty painful.
  5. The teacher said to her math class, “If I had 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what would I have?” Little Johnny’s hand shot up and he said, “You’d have a drinking problem, miss.”

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brilliant short jokesSo dear reader, did you enjoy these brilliant short jokes? Were they worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these one-liners made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

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Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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