33 witty one-liners that will really tickle you

09/10/2025 by
33 WITTY ONE-LINERS

Would you like a few witty one-liners to brighten your day, dear reader?

Well, I’ve got an excellent selection for you today.

Once again, I’ve been trawling my journals to assemble a collection of witty one-liners that I’m confident you’ll enjoy.

These have all been collected over time, and I can’t be sure who the originators were, so I can’t provide an acknowledgement on this occasion. However, if you have any ideas, please let me know.

In the meantime, enjoy them all, and please do share them with your friends.

WITTY ONE-LINERS
Make Money

Witty one-liners (1-11):

  1. Bad puns? That’s how eye roll.
  2. My patience has stretch marks.
  3. If you need an ark, I Noah guy.  
  4. Is a Will defined as a dead giveaway?
  5. Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers.
  6. I used to be a banker but I lost interest. 
  7. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
  8. Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at! 
  9. Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.
  10. Something about subtraction just doesn’t add up.
  11. How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!

Witty one-liners (12-22):

  1. I make apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
  2. I wanted to grow herbs but I couldn’t find the thyme.
  3. Simba was walking too slowly so I told him to Mufasa. 
  4. I used to sell computer parts but then I lost my drive.
  5. The only thing flat-earthers have to fear is sphere itself.
  6. Gravity jokes are getting old but I fall for them every time.
  7. Why couldn’t the chicken find her eggs? She’d mislaid them. 
  8. Do people who climb the world’s highest mountain ever rest?
  9. I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
  10. I tried to make a belt out of watches but it was a waist of time.
  11. If a priest blesses an avocado does it become Holy Guacamole?

Witty one-liners (23-33):

  1. I used to be a transplant surgeon but my heart just wasn’t in it.
  2. Mosquitoes are like family – annoying, but they carry your blood.
  3. England doesn’t have a kidney bank but it does have a Liverpool.
  4. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
  5. I was going to look for my missing watch but I couldn’t find the time. 
  6. I made a graph of my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.
  7. Why was the baseball player a bad sport? He stole third base and then went home!
  8. BREAKING NEWS: Cheese factory explodes in France. Nothing left but de Brie!
  9. Stalin should have known communism wouldn’t work. There were red flags everywhere.
  10. I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare but he chewed it a lot. Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
  11. Someone sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Make Money

Please share this post with your friends:

When you share, everyone wins.

So, please share it now. If you can do that for me, I’ll be forever grateful.

You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day.

If you fancy some more laughs, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Your support is appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

33 Clever One-Liners Guaranteed to Make You Smile

09/10/2025 by
Clever One-Liners

I love funny and clever one-liners, and over time, I collect them in a journal. And when I’ve got enough, I like to share them with readers. Anything that makes readers smile always results in a great reaction.

So today I offer you my latest collection, which I think are all very clever one-liners.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to identify the original authors, so I must classify them all as Author Unknown.

However, I’d be happy to add acknowledgements to each quote if readers can enlighten me accordingly.

If you know who wrote them originally, please let me know.

I’m sharing these clever one-liners with you because I am confident they’ll make you smile, dear reader.

Certainly, they all made me smile, so I do hope you enjoy them too.

CLEVER ONE-LINERS
Make Money

Clever One-liners (1-11):

  1. My mind’s made up; don’t confuse me with facts.
  2. Arguing with your wife is unwise. Even if you win you lose.
  3. Education is important, but other stuff is more importanter.
  4. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
  5. Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
  6. Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
  7. When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
  8. You can’t make me do what you want me to do, you’re not my cat.
  9. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
  10. I can keep secrets, of course. It’s the people I tell them to who can’t.
  11. The best way to get back on your feet is to miss a couple of car payments.

Clever One-liners (12-22):

  1. I’ve got a great pizza joke, but I warn you, it’s very cheesy.
  2. My resolution was to read more, so I put the subtitles on my television.
  3. I really hate it when people ask for likes on social media. Like if you agree!
  4. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
  5. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
  6. When I was at school 52% of the class was good at maths. I was one of the other 38%.
  7. You know you’re fat when you step on a speak-your-weight scale and it says, “One at a time please!”
  8. You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t return, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
  9. I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 siblings, but they didn’t know either.
  10. If you take away looks, money, intelligence, charm, and success, there’s no difference between me and George Clooney.
  11. I got called pretty yesterday, and it felt really good. Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I like to focus on the positive.

Clever One-liners (23-33):

  1. I have a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words too!
  2. I may be ugly now, but one day I’ll be rich enough for you to find me attractive.
  3. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
  4. Did you know that 50% of all doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class?
  5. My buddies and I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
  6. I’m a great multitasker. I can procrastinate, fret, and worry about it all at the same time.
  7. I told my plant about my problems; it said I needed to grow a spine. Talk about photosympathy!
  8. I once entered a pun contest. I submitted ten puns, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
  9. My memory is terrible. On the plus side, watching reruns on television is always a new experience.
  10. When my suitcases realized there’d be no vacation this year, it left me dealing with emotional baggage.
  11. I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I’ll be fine, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
Make Money

Please share this post with your friends:

So did these clever one-liners prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh.

If so, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

35 thats what she said jokes to raise a smile

09/10/2025 by

Today, I thought it might be amusing to explore some Thats What She Said jokes.

This form of humour revolves around innuendo and double entendre.

Yes, it’s a bit silly and suggestive, but it’s innocent and fun too, as it reflects the nature of human interaction and the way we find humour in the absurd. And, let’s face it, much of what passes for physical interaction between people can seem a little absurd when you think about it.

As with all humour, appropriateness and effectiveness depend largely on the audience and the context. So, I hope my audience today will appreciate this form of humour.

If, for some reason, this humour is not for you, then I’ll try to offer you something more appropriate next time around.

In the meantime, for those who enjoy innuendo and double entendre, here are 35 Thats What She Said Jokes to brighten your day.

Thats What She Said Jokes
Make Money

Thats What She Said Jokes (1-10):

  1. That’s big. Thats what she said.
  2. It looks horrible! Thats what she said.
  3. I think it’s stuck. Thats what she said.
  4. I’ve seen it all now. Thats what she said.
  5. You can’t be serious. Thats what she said.
  6. I can’t get a grip on it. Thats what she said.
  7. That’s too much for me. Thats what she said.
  8. Stop fiddling with them! Thats what she said.
  9. Wow, it’s quite a handful. Thats what she said.
  10. I don’t like the look of that. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (11-20):

  1. You’re going to love these! Thats what she said.
  2. Keep it to yourself, please. Thats what she said.
  3. Well, that was disappointing. Thats what she said.
  4. Not now, I’ve got a headache. Thats what she said.
  5. Surely, you’re having a laugh. Thats what she said.
  6. This is harder than I expected. Thats what she said.
  7. I’ve never seen one that small. Thats what she said.
  8. I’ve not seen one like that before. Thats what she said.
  9. I didn’t think it would get this big. Thats what she said.
  10. That’s not a game I’m willing to play. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (21-35):

  1. I can’t keep holding it up like this. Thats what she said.
  2. I’ve never done it this way before. Thats what she said.
  3. It was over quicker than I thought. Thats what she said.
  4. You’ll get better with more practice. Thats what she said.
  5. Let’s take it out and see how it looks. Thats what she said.
  6. I’m going to need two hands for this. Thats what she said.
  7. It’s not as big as I thought it would be. Thats what she said.
  8. You don’t get many of them to the pound. Thats what she said.
  9. I love you, dear, but not enough to try that. Thats what she said.
  10. If you think I’m doing that, you can forget it. Thats what she said.
  11. Goodness, this one’s got its own personality. Thats what she said.
  12. You’re unlikely to find a pair bigger than these? Thats what she said.
  13. As experiences go, that wasn’t much to write home about. Thats what she said.
  14. There’s an easy way and a hard way. Let’s do it the easy way. Thats what she said.
  15. It’ll take more than a skinny latte and a blueberry muffin to impress me. Thats what she said.
Make Money

Please share this post:

If any of these ‘Thats What She Said Jokes’ made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So, please go ahead and share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for being so supportive.

More fun you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

21 funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile

09/07/2025 by
21 Funny One-Liners

Here is another batch of funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile.

Once again, I’ve been searching for the best smiles I can find to brighten your day, dear reader. I’ve done the hard work, so you don’t have to.

So sit back, relax, and I hope you enjoy these funny one-liners just as much as I did.

And don’t forget your friends.

If you enjoy these smiles, then your friends will probably enjoy them too.

So pass them on, but not before you’ve enjoyed them yourself.

FUNNY ONE-LINERS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SMILE
Make Money

Funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile (1-10):

  1. If you need an ark, I Noah guy.
  2. The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
  3. Never give up on your dreams. Stay in bed and sleep on.
  4. I wouldn’t say that my ceiling is the best, but it’s up there.
  5. You must agree, the shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
  6. Never tell your secrets in a cornfield. There are too many ears.
  7. Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.
  8. Why are ghosts always bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
  9. What would you call someone with just a nose and no body? Nobody knows.
  10. My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.

Funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile (11-21):

  1. There’s a store on Main Street where you can get dead batteries free of charge.
  2. I used to work as an origami teacher, but I hated it. There was too much paperwork.
  3. I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
  4. I was amused to read the epitaph on the late dentist’s gravestone. It read “He’s now filling his last cavity.”
  5. Why is everything delivered by ship called a cargo and yet if it’s delivered by a van, it’s called a shipment?
  6. Our local farmer has started feeding his cows with bird seed. That would explain why the milk is going cheep.
  7. My sister bet me $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car using spaghetti. Her face was a picture when I drove pasta.
  8. A man delivers a load of bubble wrap. “Where do you want this, he asks?” “Oh, just pop it in the corner” was the reply.
  9. Change your password to incorrect and then if you can’t quite remember it, your computer will say your password is incorrect.
  10. They’ve just opened a new restaurant Downtown. It’s called Karma and they don’t have a menu. You just get what you deserve.
  11. A police recruit was asked during his exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He answered, “Call for backup.”
Make Money

Please share this post:

So did these funny one-liners prove to be as funny as you’d hoped dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read here then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

33 very clever one-liners guaranteed to make you smile

09/06/2025 by
33 very clever one-liners

I’m always impressed with very clever one-liners. I can’t resist those short, sharp, witty remarks that always make me smile. So naturally, I collect them, noting them down in my journal every day.

Today I thought I’d share some very clever one-liners I’ve heard recently. They’re all quite brilliant in my opinion.

So take a couple of minutes to enjoy them all.

Make Money

Very clever one-liners (1-11):

  1. How does NASA organise a party? They planet.
  2. I used to be addicted to soap but I’m clean now.
  3. I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Never again.
  4. Just received a card full of rice. It’s from Uncle Ben.
  5. Exaggerations went up by one million per cent last year.
  6. I’ve decided to sell my Hoover. It was just collecting dust.
  7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
  8. What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
  9. I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. No pun in 10 did.
  10. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
  11. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.

Very clever one-liners (12-22):

  1. My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”.
  2. Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg?’ Because every play has a cast.
  3. My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange?” I said: “No it doesn’t!”
  4. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  5. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.
  6. I’ve found a job helping a one-armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.
  7. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
  8. As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans.
  9. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
  10. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  11. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

Very clever one-liners (23-33):

  1. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
  2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going there.
  3. I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
  4. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
  5. I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said “Thanks!” I said, “Don’t mention it.”
  6. Hear about the new restaurant called ‘Karma’? There’s no menu, you only get what you deserve.
  7. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.
  8. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
  9. I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
  10. A man tells his doctor, “Help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” To which the doctor replied, “Sorry, I’m not following you.”
  11. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? “Thanks! I’ll never part with it!”
Make Money

Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these very clever one-liners, dear reader, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So, please share it now. If you can do that for me, I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day. Thank you.

If you fancy some more laughs, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty more to make you smile.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

27 witty one-liners so good you’ll laugh out loud

09/06/2025 by

Now, do you fancy a bit of a laugh? A few witty one-liners, maybe?

Would you really like something to make you smile?

You’d love to have a laugh or two, but you don’t have the time to enjoy anything for too long, right?

Well, fear not. You must make at least a little time for a laugh. It will make you feel so much better.

Today, I offer you 27 witty one-liners that are guaranteed to make you smile.

They all made me smile, and I’m confident that some of them will brighten your day, too.

If you enjoy humor that’s concise and razor-sharp, then this collection of witty one-liners is just for you, dear reader.

So go on, take a minute or two, and have a good laugh right now. Enjoy them all.

Make Money

Witty One-Liners (1-10):

  1. I think the worst thing about driving a time machine will be your kids in the back always moaning, ‘Are we then yet?‘ ~Paul F Taylor
  2. If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself. ~Ian Smith
  3. I wanted to be a baker, but I never rose to the challenge. ~Author Unknown
  4. I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don’t read it. ~Author Unknown
  5. Crime in multi-storey car parks? That’s wrong on so many different levels. ~Tim Vine
  6. As a kid, I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog. ~Gary Delaney
  7. I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting! ~Stewart Francis
  8. I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa. ~Rob Auton
  9. I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. ~Nick Helm
  10. I’m not a very muscular man; the strongest thing about me is my password. ~Rory O’Keeffe

Witty One-Liners (11-20):

  1. Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy? I hear you ask. ~Jordan Brookes
  2. I was trying to write a novel about puns, but it just turned out to be a play on words. ~Author Unknown
  3. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia, and she whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.’ ~Author Unknown
  4. One thing you’ll never hear a Hindu say, ‘Ah well, you only live once.’ ~Hardeep Singh Kohli
  5. My Dad told me to invest my money in bonds. So, I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger. ~Nick Hall
  6. If you arrive fashionably late in Crocs, you’re just late. ~Joel Dommett
  7. People say I’ve got no willpower, but I’ve quit smoking loads of times. ~Kai Humphries
  8. I tried to write a pun about the wind, but it just blew away. ~Author Unknown
  9. My friend got a personal trainer a year before his wedding. I thought, ‘Bloody hell, how long’s the aisle going to be?‘ ~Paul McCaffrey
  10. It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road. ~Olaf Falafel

Witty One-Liners (21-27):

  1. I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: This could be interesting. ~Paddy Lennox
  2. I used to be a baker, but I could never make enough dough. ~Author Unknown
  3. Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache, and glasses, I think, There’s a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him. ~Carey Marx
  4. “What’s a couple?’ I asked my mom. She said, “Two or three.’ Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed. ~Josie Long
  5. I think the bravest thing I’ve ever done is misjudge how much shopping I want to buy and still not go back to get a basket. ~Stuart Laws
  6. Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar, Demerara. ~Olaf Falafel
  7. Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge? ~Dan Antolpolski
Make Money

Please share this post with your friends:

So, dear reader, was this post worth a few minutes of your time?

Perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then click on the links below.

If you enjoyed this post, then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

Thank you for being so supportive.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

21 funny quotes you’ll absolutely love

08/28/2025 by
Funny Quotes

I love quotes, and I love those funny quotes that make you smile and make you think.

Here are 21 funny quotes to highlight my point.

Enjoy them all. And feel free to share them with your friends.

Make Money

Funny Quotes:

  1. Smile today, because tomorrow could be worse. ~Anonymous
  2. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. ~Anonymous
  3. I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. ~Anonymous
  4. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. ~Anonymous
  5. He who wakes up early yawns all day long. ~Anonymous
  6. I’m not lazy; I’m just very relaxed. ~Anonymous
  7. Those who snore always fall asleep first. ~Anonymous
  8. Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence; after all, intelligence has its limits. ~Anonymous
  9. I just wanted you to know somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. ~Anonymous
  10. “Revenge” sounds so mean; that’s why I prefer to call it “returning the favour.” ~Anonymous
  11. The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you’re with someone you’re not supposed to be seen with. ~Anonymous
  12. It’s alright if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right. ~Anonymous
  13. To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, now that shows political skill. ~Anonymous
  14. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. ~Anonymous
  15. When a door closes, another door should open, but if it doesn’t, then go in through the window. ~Anonymous
  16. Doing nothing is hard because you never know when you’re done. ~Anonymous
  17. Whenever I clean my closet, I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. ~Anonymous
  18. I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food. I don’t even know where sandwiches live. ~Anonymous
  19. Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you’re bad luck. ~Anonymous
  20. I don’t need anger management. You just need to stop making me angry! ~Anonymous
  21. My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. ~Anonymous

If you enjoyed these funny quotes, please share them:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these funny quotes made you smile, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share them now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Make Money

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 priceless jokes that’ll tickle you silly

08/27/2025 by

Looking for some priceless jokes? Well, how about these five little gems?

They all made me smile, and I hope they brighten up your day.

Enjoy them all.

Feel free to share them with your friends.

priceless jokes
Make Money

Priceless Jokes:

1. Populating the Earth:

One day, God said to Adam, “It’s nearly time for you and Eve to begin populating Earth. So I want you to kiss her.”

“I don’t understand,” said Adam. “What does ‘to kiss’ mean?”

God understood that it was all new to Adam, so patiently he explained to Adam what was required of him.

Adam took Eve by the hand, and they disappeared into the woods. A little while later, they emerged, and Adam said, “That was most enjoyable.”

“I thought you might say that,” said God, “so now I want you to caress her.”

“But what does ‘caress’ mean?” Adam asked.

So God provided Adam with a brief explanation again.

Again, Adam took Eve by the hand, and they disappeared into the woods once more.

Soon they returned, and Adam smiled and said, “That was even better.”

“Good,” said God. “You’ve done well. So now I want you to make love to Eve.”

Again, Adam was a little perplexed. “What does ‘make love’ mean?” said Adam.

So God gave Adam another explanation, and Adam then took Eve by the hand back into the woods.

This time, Adam emerged from the woods alone, looking puzzled, within seconds.

He looked at God and said, “Lord, what’s a headache?”

2. The customer’s compulsion:

A man walked into a Manhattan bar and ordered a glass of white wine.

He took a sip of the wine, and then he hurled the rest of the glass into the bartender’s face.

“Oh, I’m really sorry,” he said. “I keep doing that to bartenders. It’s a compulsion, and I find it extremely embarrassing.”

The bartender was an amiable fellow, and he was sympathetic to the man’s problem, despite the provocation.

As he wiped his face, he suggested that the man see an analyst about his problem.

“Hey, another customer of mine is a psychiatrist with an excellent reputation. My brother and my wife both use him, and they say he’s the best there is,” said the bartender.

About three months later, the man returned to the bar again.

The bartender remembered him immediately. As he poured the man a glass of white wine, he said, “Good to see you, buddy. Did you do what I suggested?”

“Yes, I certainly did,” said the man. “I’ve been seeing the psychiatrist you recommended for two sessions every week.”

He then took a sip of his wine and again threw the rest of the glass into the bartender’s face.

As he wiped his face with a towel, the flustered bartender spluttered, “That doctor doesn’t seem to be doing you any good.”

“On the contrary,” said the man. “He’s done me the world of good.”

“But you’ve just thrown wine in my face again,” responded the bartender.

“Yes, but I’m not embarrassed by it anymore,” said the man.

3. The sooty tern:

One day, a young sooty tern was flying over the sea with its parents when the mummy bird ran into a cliff and dropped to the ground.

Oblivious to his mate’s fate, the daddy tern flew on, but the young bird swooped to the foot of the cliff in a bid to save her.

Alas, the mummy tern was already dead, and the tearful young bird was taken under the wing of a family of seagulls.

A week later, the head of the seagull family announced, “You’re a well-behaved bird, but I’m afraid we can’t keep you. However, we’re going to find a tern that can adopt you and act as a replacement mother.”

So the seagull put an ad in the local paper, which read, “One good tern deserves a mother.”

4. Difficult customer:

A man walked into a smart downtown bar and sat on a stool at the counter.

“Sir, what can I get you to drink?” said the bartender. “A beer, maybe? We’ve got an excellent special brew on offer this evening.”

“I’m sorry,” replied the man haughtily. “I don’t drink alcohol. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it, and I haven’t touched a drop since.”

The bartender tried to engage the man in friendly conversation by offering him a cigar.

“You can’t smoke it in here,” said the bartender, “but perhaps you can enjoy it later.”

“No, thank you,” said the man with a sneer. “I don’t smoke. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it, and I haven’t smoked since.”

Again, the bartender attempted a little banter, but the man was having none of it.

“Listen,” he said. “I appreciate you’re merely trying to be sociable, but the fact is I wouldn’t even be in this place at all but for the fact that I’m meeting my son here.”

“That would be your only child, I presume?” the bartender remarked philosophically.

5. Lady in the Casino:

The Las Vegas casino was virtually deserted, and two male dealers at the craps table were idling away their time in the hope that business might soon improve.

Suddenly, a stunningly attractive woman with a fabulous figure appeared and said she wanted to bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

“Certainly, mam,” said one of the dealers, happy to relieve the boredom.

“There’s just one thing, though,” said the woman.

“What’s that?” said the dealer.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind,” said the woman, “but playing topless always brings me luck. There’s hardly anyone about, so I’ll take off my blouse and bra before I roll the dice.”

She then quickly removed those garments, exposing her ample assets, and threw the dice before yelling, “I’ve won! I can’t believe it! I’ve won!”

She then scooped up all the money, picked up her clothes, and disappeared in an instant.

The two dealers were stunned. “What did she roll?” asked one.

“I don’t know,” said the other. “I thought you’d be watching the dice!”

Make Money

Please share with your friends:

So did these prove to be the priceless jokes you’d hoped for, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might also enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Funniest Jokes 2025: Could these be the 5 of them?

08/26/2025 by

If you’re looking for the funniest jokes 2025, here are some that I think are serious contenders for that title.

If you want to be the life and soul of the party, then these jokes will certainly make people laugh. They all made me laugh, that’s for sure.

So take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And then please feel free to pass them on.

Make Money

Funniest Jokes 2025:

1. The Test:

A teacher has prepared a test for two of her students.

Now one of these kids is very clever, but the other one is a bit slow, to say the least.

The test has 10 questions, and the teacher sits both students down in the classroom and gives them 45 minutes to complete the test.

Once completed by the students, the test papers are sent away for independent marking and assessment.

When the teacher receives the marked test papers back, she looks at the slow kid’s mark first. He’s been given 9 out of 10.

“That’s astonishing!” the teacher thinks to herself.

She then looks at the clever kid’s mark, and he too has been given 9 out of 10.

“That can’t be right,” the teacher exclaims.

So she goes through the clever kid’s paper in detail.

The first nine questions he’s got all right. However, for the tenth question, he’s simply written, “Sorry mam, but I don’t know the answer to this question.”

So the teacher then goes through the slow kid’s paper in detail.

Again, he’s got the first nine questions all right. And then for the tenth question he’s written, “I don’t know the answer either.”

2. Questionable weather:

Jane is arguing with her husband, Bill, about the winter weather, precipitation, and how they would describe the amount of moisture currently in the atmosphere.

“Well,” said Jane. “This, to me, is drizzle.”

“No,” Bill responded. “It’s heavy mist.”

This debate went on for a while, and then, eventually, Jane suggested they ask the elderly man next door.

“Hey,” said Jane, “Rudolf’s a former Soviet communist from Russia. He’ll know all about bad weather.”

So they went next door and asked Rudolf for his opinion.

“It is drizzle,” Rudolf declared.

Needless to say, Bill felt a little put out, losing the argument in this way.

“Why should we accept his judgment anyway?” asked Bill.

Jane smiled and said, “Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!”

3. Communication breakdown:

Sister Elizabeth is walking down to breakfast in the convent one morning when she meets Sister Gillian.

“Good morning, Sister Elizabeth,” says Sister Gillian. “It looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed.”

In response, Sister Elizabeth smiles. She’s slightly puzzled by Sister Gillian’s comment, but she lets it go.

As she proceeds down the corridor towards the dining room, she then bumps into Sister Julienne.

“Good morning, Sister Elizabeth,” says Sister Julienne. “It looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed.”

Though mildly irritated by hearing this comment a second time, once again she smiles and lets it go.

As she enters the dining room, Sister Elizabeth bumps into the Mother Superior.

“Good morning, Sister Elizabeth,” says the Mother Superior. “It looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed.”

“Why on earth do people keep asking me that question?” says Sister Elizabeth. “Have I been rude to anyone?”

“No, not at all,” replies the Mother Superior, “but you’re wearing the Bishop’s slippers.”

4. The wages of sin:

Mary is saying goodbye to her husband, John, as he nears death.

“My love,” said John. “Before I die, I must confess that I was once unfaithful to you with another woman. In our fifty years of marriage, it was once and only once, I swear. Please, can you forgive me?”

Mary fidgets for a moment, and then she reaches for the chest at the end of the bed. She opens the lid and takes out two ears of corn and a thousand dollars in cash.

Mary shows this to John, and slightly bemused, he asks, “What’s this?”

“Well, John, I’ve been unfaithful too,” Mary responds. “And each time I had a lover, I put an ear of corn in this chest.”

John is clearly upset momentarily, but then he says, “Well, it was only twice. But what was the money for?”

Mary starts to weep, and then she says, “Each time I got enough ears of corn for a bushel, I sold it.

5. The Good Samaritan:

Margarita had left her home in the small city of Campeche in Mexico for what she thought would be an exciting life in New York City.

However, the drudgery of life as a chambermaid, working in a third-rate hotel on 9th Avenue, proved to be a depressing experience.

She felt so depressed that one night she found herself standing on Brooklyn Bridge, contemplating throwing herself into the East River.

At that moment, a Good Samaritan came walking across the bridge in the shape of a handsome young man named Tom.

“Hello, I’m Tom,” said the young man. “Please tell me what’s troubling you, mam.”

“Life in Manhattan, working as a chambermaid, is so hard,” Margarita responded. “I wanted so much more. And I can’t go home now, so I have nothing to live for.”

“Look mam, the world is full of opportunity,” said Tom. “Hey, I’m a sailor, and tomorrow we’ll be sailing to London, England. You could come too. I could stow you away on the ship and take care of you. I’ll bring you food each day and keep you happy.”

Margarita thought about it momentarily, and she realised that she had nothing to lose, so she accepted Tom’s offer.

That night, Tom took her aboard the ship and hid her in a small, but surprisingly comfortable, compartment in the hold.

From then on, each night Tom brought sandwiches and some red wine, and after they’d eaten, he’d make love to her.

A few days later, during a routine inspection, the captain discovered Margarita.

“What are you doing here?” asked the captain.

“Sir, I have an arrangement with one of your sailors,” replied Margarita. “He brings me food, and he’s taking me to London, England, on your ship.”

“Really?” the captain responded.

“Yes, sir,” said Margarita. “He’s been taking advantage of me, too, sir.”

“He certainly has, mam,” replied the captain. “This is the Staten Island Ferry.”

Make Money

If you enjoyed these jokes, please share them:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If you agree that these were the funniest jokes 2025 and they made you smile, at least a little, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then click on the links below.

Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

Affiliate Disclosure: This site is an affiliate of Expedia and related companies. This means that if you click on the link and make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products or services that I think will be valuable to you. Any commissions earned help support the content I create.

More fun you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

30 knock knock jokes that are corny but fun

08/25/2025 by

Do you enjoy ‘knock knock jokes,’ dear reader?

Yes, they’re corny, I know. However, they’re fun too. Clever wordplay is always fun, and indeed, I find it amusing.

So, here are 30 knock knock jokes which I hope you will enjoy.

Grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax, and enjoy the smiles.

And when you’ve read them all, feel free to pass them on to your friends.

30 KNOCK KNOCK JOKES
Make Money

Knock Knock Jokes (1-10):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Boo
  • Boo who?
  • Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wendy
  • Wendy who?
  • Wendy wind blows, the cradle will rock!
  • Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Honeybee
  • Honeybee who?
  • Honeybee a dear and get the door, please!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes the police, open up!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alpaca
  • Alpaca who?
  • Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Mikey
  • Mikey who?
  • Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole; can you open the door, please?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Olive
  • Olive who?
  • Olive you and I always will!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wooden shoe
  • Wooden shoe who?
  • Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cow says
  • Cow says who?
  • No silly, cow says moooo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cash
  • Cash who?
  • No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock Knock Jokes (11-20):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Icy
  • Icy who?
  • Icy you but you can’t see me!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Kenya
  • Kenya who?
  • Kenya guess who I am?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more jokes left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Ivor
  • Ivor who?
  • Ivor question to ask you.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nicholas
  • Nicholas who?
  • Nicholas women shouldn’t climb trees.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Luke
  • Luke who?
  • Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Howard
  • Howard who?
  • Howard you like a big hug?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Noah
  • Noah who?
  • Noah good place we can get something to eat?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Atch
  • Atch who?
  • Bless you!

Knock Knock Jokes (21-30):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Harry
  • Harry who?
  • Harry up and answer the door!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more cookies left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nana
  • Nana who?
  • Nana your business!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Justin
  • Justin who?
  • Justin the neighbourhood, and heard you needed a laugh!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Europe
  • Europe who?
  • No, you’re a poo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in and we’ll tell you!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Who
  • Who who?
  • Is there an owl in here?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Fuk
  • Fuk who?
  • No, Fuk Yu!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes a nice place you got here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alex
  • Alex who?
  • Alex the questions around here!
Make Money

Please share this post:

If any of these knock knock jokes made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Affiliate Disclosure: This site is an affiliate of Expedia and related companies. This means that if you click on the link and make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products or services that I think will be valuable to you. Any commissions earned help support the content I create.

More fun you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »