Amusement

15 black humor jokes that’ll definitely make you laugh

12/05/2025 by Roy Sutton

Today I am exploring black humor. That is, humor from the dark side.

If you’re like me, then you’ll need a good laugh every day. It is, after all, the best medicine, they say. If nothing else, it certainly relieves stress.

I love all forms of humor, even what I refer to as black humor, with a slightly darker edge.

Some people find this type of humor a little distasteful, but personally, I think it can still be very funny.

Here are 15 black humor jokes that I think will definitely make you laugh. Well, some of them will make you smile at least.

None of these jokes is too distasteful, so I hope they will appeal to everyone. If they don’t appeal to you, dear reader, then I will endeavour to offer something more in line with your preferences next time.

For those who like humor with a darker edge, enjoy!

Black Humor Jokes (Part 1):

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. Which one would you like to hear first?
Patient: The good news, please.
Doctor: I’ve got the diagnosis for your illness. Unfortunately, it suggests you have only two days to live.
Patient: So what’s the bad news then?”
Doctor: I’ve been trying to contact you for two days.

Today really has been a terrible day.
First, my wife gets hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a bus driver.

The doctor gave me one year to live.
So in the heat of the moment, I shot him.
The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far.
Yes, isn’t this catapult amazing? Quick, get our daughter!

Girl: So, what do you do?
Boy: I work with animals every day.
Girl: Oh, that’s so sweet! What exactly do you do?
Boy: I’m a butcher.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come to you anyway.

Black Humor Jokes (Part 2):

Fred walks into a shop and sees a nice looking dog.
Does your dog bite? Fred says to the shop assistant.
No, my dog doesn’t bite, said the assistant.
Fred starts petting the dog but it attacks him viciously.
You said your dog doesn’t bite, said Fred.
He doesn’t. That isn’t my dog, said the assistant.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father did.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers on his bus.

They say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.
Personally, I find a knife through the ribcage a lot quicker.

Finally, I got one of those roof-top boxes for the car.
It’s very practical. I can barely hear my kids now.

I took my wife out for tea and biscuits.
She wasn’t very happy about having to donate blood though.

Mom, I’m still having those sharp headaches!
Then don’t stand in front of the dartboard!

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.

A man awakens from a coma.
His wife is irritated and changes out of her black clothing.
I really can’t depend on you for anything, can I?

If I’m smiling, I’m probably thinking of doing something evil.
If I’m laughing, I’ve already done it.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these black humor jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, Black Humor, fun, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Life, smile, Stress-free

6 funny stories that make you laugh until you cry

12/05/2025 by Roy Sutton

If you enjoy stories that make you laugh until you cry, dear reader, then take a look at these I’ve got for you today. I’m confident that at least some of these will make you laugh.

So take a few moments to enjoy them all, and please, feel free to share them with your friends.

Stories that make you laugh until you cry:

1. Patrick’s doppelgänger:

Mick is the bartender in a Dublin bar, and Patrick is sitting at the counter drinking. Suddenly, Patrick says to Mick, “You see that guy over there? Don’t you think he looks just like me?”

“Yes, he does,” says Mick, humouring him.

Patrick then walks over to his doppelgänger and says, “Excuse me, sir, but I couldn’t help noticing that you and I look so much alike.”

“You’re right, we really do look alike,” says the guy.

“Where are you from?” asks Patrick.

“I’m from Rathmines,” says the guy.

“Which street?” Patrick then asks.

“Mayo Abbey Street,” says the guy.

“Mayo Abbey Street?” says Patrick. “Now that’s incredible. That’s my street too. What number?”

“I live at 47,” the guy responds.

“47?” says Patrick. “I don’t believe it! Me too! What are your parents’ names?”

“Thomas and Bernadette,” says the guy.

“That’s unbelievable,” Patrick responds. “My parents have the same names.”

Just then, Mick’s colleague Jim arrives on shift.

“How’s it going, Mick?” says Jim. “Has there been much happening tonight?”

“Not really,” Mick responds. “Oh, except for the O’Donnell twins being drunk again.”

2. Pumping out the tank:

A C5 Galaxy military transport aircraft is being prepared for departure at a US Air Force base in Greenland.

The crew’s waiting for a truck to arrive so that the aircraft’s sewage tank can be pumped out.

Nothing’s going quite to plan, and the aircraft commander is growing impatient.

When the truck eventually shows up, the airman carrying out the pumping task on the tank is extremely slow and seems to take an age.

Eventually, the commander has had enough, and he snaps and threatens to punish the airman for being so slow.

“Sir, I have no stripes, it’s twenty-five below zero, I’m stationed in Greenland miles from civilization, and I’m pumping sewage,” the airman responds. “What could you possibly do that would punish me further?”

3. Communication breakdown:

Jim is 82 years old and hard of hearing. One day, he goes to his doctor for his annual physical.

A week after his physical, his doctor bumps into Jim on Main Street. Jim has a stunningly attractive young woman on his arm.

The doctor lets it pass, but the following day, he calls Jim and says, “Your companion yesterday was attractive, I must say, but do you really think you’re up to the physical demands that would come with such a relationship?”

“But, doc,” said Jim, “you said get a hot mama and be cheerful.”

“Now, that’s not what I said,” the doctor replied. “I said you’ve got a heart murmur, so be careful!”

4. Customer expectations:

I must complain about the customer service I’ve just experienced in my local store.

I probably shouldn’t name the store, for obvious legal reasons, but I bought something from there, and I paid cash for it. I took it home and discovered it failed to live up to all the promises I’d heard when the product was advertised on television.

Naturally, I took the product back and requested a refund.

Even though I still had the receipt, the cashier declined my request.

So, I requested a replacement instead, but again the cashier said “No!” in a manner that I thought was insensitive and lacking in empathy.

Well, I wasn’t going to give up without a fight, so I demanded to see the manager.

The manager arrived, and I explained that the product had not met my expectations, and therefore, I wanted a refund.

With a smirk on his face, the manager just said, “Sorry, buddy, but you’re out of luck. There’s no refund.”

“Well, how about a replacement?” I responded.

“There’s no replacement either,” he said, rather unsympathetically.

“Right,” I said, sharply, “you’ve lost my custom. I won’t be buying a lottery ticket here again!”

5. The artist:

An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in any of the paintings he currently has on display.

“Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you,” the owner replies.

“What’s the good news?” asks the artist.

“Well, a gentleman inquired about your work, and he asked me whether the paintings would appreciate in value after your death,” says the owner.

“Really?” inquires the artist.

“Yes, and when I told him they would, he bought all thirty of your paintings,” the owner continued.

“Wow, that’s fantastic news!” says the artist. “So what’s the bad news?”

“The gentleman said he was your doctor,” said the owner.

6. Be careful who you threaten:

Jack’s still driving, despite being 85 years old.

One day, he’s driving his Chevrolet Spark into town when he misjudges a turn and manages to bump into a very expensive Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren.

It is only a bump, but even minor fixes to expensive cars can cost thousands of dollars.

The wealthy guy in the Mercedes is not happy.

He jumps out and confronts Jack.

“Look what you’ve done to my car, old man!” exclaims the driver. “I want $5,000 for the repairs. I want it now, or I’ll have to beat it out of you.”

“Now just hold on there, buddy,” says Jack. “I don’t carry that much money, but let me call my grandson; he’s with Delta Airlines.”

Jack calls his grandson, but as he’s about to speak, the Mercedes driver grabs the phone from his hand and shouts, “So you’re with Delta Airlines? Well, you listen to me, trolley dolly, your grandad just damaged my car, so you’d better bring me $5,000 for the repairs, or I’m going to beat it out of him.”

Jack’s grandson responds politely, “Sir, give me 15 minutes, and I’ll be with you to sort this out.”

In exactly 15 minutes, Jack’s grandson pulls up in a Jeep accompanied by three other burly, tough-looking military guys. They all look like they could be Special Forces.

Well, the Mercedes driver is smart enough to recognise trouble when he sees it. So he jumps in his car and gets the hell out of there as quickly as he can.

With that, Jack’s grandson walks over to him and says, “Grandad, how many times must I tell you? I’m not with Delta Airlines. I’m with Delta Force!”

Please share with your friends:

So, for you, dear reader, did these prove to be funny stories that made you laugh until you cried?

I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, then I would be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

I appreciate your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, funny stories that make you laugh, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Laugh, LOL, Meaning, Philosophy, smile, stories that make you laugh until you cry, Stress-free

60 witty jokes with puns that will raise a smile or two

12/04/2025 by Roy Sutton

If you enjoy witty jokes with puns in them, then today’s post was written just for you, dear reader. I’ve put together 60 great puns that I hope will raise a few smiles with readers.

They all made me smile, and I hope they tickle you, too.

Grab a coffee and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on to your friends.

Jokes with puns (1-20):

A joke isn’t a dad joke until it’s full groan.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
If you have any fresh vegetable puns lettuce know.
I’ve just seen a baguette in the zoo. It’s bread in captivity.
My friend has a dwarf cow that only gives condensed milk.
I’m learning to count in binary and it’s as easy as 1 10 11.
If a deaf man appears in court, is that still called a hearing?
Why is it that you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
I’ve been craving some oxygen and potassium. Is that OK?
50% off medieval punishment devices. Hurry whilst stocks last!
Should the stealing of someone’s coffee be known as a mugging?
I’m on a nut-free diet. I have to avoid people who drive me nuts.
My son’s put his Grandma on speed dial. He calls it Instagran.
I sympathize with batteries. I’m never included in anything either.
What do we want? An end to acronyms. When do we want it? ASAP!
What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? You can’t tuna fish.
I’ve got a new job as a guillotine operator. I’ll beheading there shortly.
Thanks to autocorrecting, I seem to be having some kind of midlife crisps.
When you’re down by the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a Moray.
I’m trying to think of an egg-sample of food that can be fried or boiled.

Jokes with puns (21-30):

Apparently, the Wheelbuilders Association is looking for a spokesperson.
Grammar’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.
I’d never let my kids watch a symphony orchestra. There’s too much sax and violins.
I’m always being criticized for my poor grammar but why can’t people just except it?
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator.
My Eastern European mail-order bride is on her way from Prague. I’m told, the Czech’s in the post.
My son’s been eating electrical cable, so I’ve had to ground him until he conducts himself properly.
The President wants to ban pre-shredded cheese. Apparently, his aim is to make America grate again.
Swarms of flying insects are threatening a town. Apparently, the police have deployed a SWAT team.
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I’ve been posting too many bird puns. Well, toucan can play at that game.

Jokes with puns (31-40):

Did you know that the legendary martial artist and movie star Bruce Lee had a vegan brother? Apparently, his name was Broco Lee.
Why does the Government keep referring to a “Roadmap out of lockdown” when I think it should be the “Road to de-mask-us?”
I’ve been trying to think of a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it with my first try, but nobody saw it, so I guess I screwed up.
There’s a story in the press about a man who assaulted his neighbour with milk and cheese. How dairy!
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. Apparently, Jack and the beanstalk.
I’m planning to open a fitness centre for Star Trek fans. It will be called, “It’s Life Gym.”
A German butcher traded a sausage for a seabird. Apparently, he took a tern for the wurst.
There are no words in the English language with all the vowels in alphabetical order, I said facetiously.
Why is the divorce rate so high amongst tennis players? Well, to them love is nothing.
I’ve just seen a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. It was a little condescending.

Jokes with puns (41-50):

My local hospital has a sign saying, “Thieves Operate Here.” Personally, I’d prefer that to be surgeons.
Don’t tell your secrets in a garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beanstalk.
My geography teacher asked me what I knew about Damascus. I told her that as far as I know, it kills 99% of household germs.
My child was refusing to come with me on a bike ride, so I had to use a little reverse cycology.
A hole has been found in the perimeter wall surrounding the nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
My wife told me that I have what it takes to light up a room, but only if I move away from the window.
There are three types of people in this world. Those who can do arithmetic and those who can’t.
Why do I always wear two pairs of pants when I’m playing golf? Because I always get a hole in one.
I’ve just got back from my appointment with my physician. She said that I’ve got to have an earring made. Seemed like an odd thing for her to say.
I confided with my father that my wife wanted me to stop living in an imaginary world. He said, “What wife?”

Jokes with puns (51-60):

I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d ever been with and she said, “Yes.” Apparently, all the others had been nines and tens.
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the other team members have to drown too?
DAD: Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field. DAUGHTER: What’s that got to do with anything? DAD: It’s pasture bedtime.
Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and not a crossword between us.
A friend of mine has taken early retirement from the Post Office. Apparently, he couldn’t refuse the package they offered.
A lot of people are shocked when they find out what a terrible electrician I am.
I arrive early for my booking at the restaurant last night and the manager asked me if I’d wait a little. “That’s fine,” I said. To which he responded, “That’s great! Take these drinks to Table 5.”
Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at me and I was like, “What the Hellman!”
There was a huge fight last night at my local seafood restaurant. Apparently, there was battered fish everywhere.
Everyone at Liverpool’s John Lennon International Airport has been quarantined. Imagine ….. all the people.

Please share with your friends:

So dear reader, did you enjoy witty jokes with puns? Was this post worth a little piece of your time? I do hope so.

If you did enjoy this post, then please share it with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now, and you’ll be making an old blogger very happy.

Thank you for your support.

Articles that might appeal to you:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, bad puns, Clever puns, Corny Puns, fun, funny, Funny Puns, humor, Jokes with puns, LOL, Puns, Short Jokes with puns, smile, Terrible Puns, Witty puns

5 hilariously funny jokes that’ll tickle you silly

12/03/2025 by Roy Sutton

Today, I offer you five hilariously funny jokes that will definitely tickle you, dear reader. Well, they certainly tickled me anyway. So take a moment or two to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Hilariously funny jokes:

1. Car trouble:

Jane was driving along Interstate 5 on her way to San Diego when her old car suddenly died on her. Naturally, she called out a local mechanic to help her.

The mechanic arrived and said, “Howdy mam, what seems to be the problem?”

“Well,” said Jane, “I was just driving along when suddenly I lost all power, and the car came to a complete standstill.”

“Now, let me just take a look for you mam,” said the mechanic.

At this point, he lifts the hood and gives the engine a cursory glance before whacking something very hard with a hammer.

“Try it now mam,” said the mechanic.

To Jane’s amazement, when she turned the key, the car burst into life again.

“That’s incredible!” said Jane. “You’ve been here for less than 30 seconds, and you’ve already got it going again. I’m very grateful. Thank you.”

“All part of the service mam!” the mechanic responded before adding, “That’ll be $250.”

Jane couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “How much?” she said. “How can it be $250 when all you did was hit something with a hammer?”

“Well mam,” said the mechanic, “I can produce an itemised bill if you like.”

“Yes, please,” said Jane, “you do that! It’ll make interesting reading.”

So the mechanic started tapping something into an iPad, and then he printed it out on a printer in his truck. He then handed Jane the bill. It read:

2. The new bus driver:

The new bus driver pulled his bus up at the bus stop, and on stepped a giant of a man who said to the driver, “Big John don’t pay!” before walking off and taking his seat.

Well, Big John was aptly named; he really was a monster of a man, and the driver was small and skinny, so he figured that a confrontation with Big John might not end well. Not for him anyway. So he let it go.

The next day, the same thing happened. The bus stopped, Big John got on, and once again he told the driver, “Big John don’t pay!” before going straight to his seat.

Again, the new driver was reluctant to challenge him because of his size.

Well, this became a daily occurrence, and increasingly the new bus driver began to resent being afraid of Big John.

So he decided to sign up for a bodybuilding class at his local gym. He figured that if he was more muscular, he’d be equipped to challenge Big John and force him to pay the fare. This became an obsession with him, and he worked hard on it.

Before long, the bus driver had rippling muscles where once there had only been skin and bone. And as his physical appearance became more impressive, the driver felt confident and ready to confront Big John the next time he got on his bus.

Sure enough, at the usual stop, onto the bus stepped Big John, with his usual declaration, “Big John don’t pay!”

“Now just hold it there, fella!” said the driver, ready and waiting for a confrontation. “And just why don’t Big John pay?”

Well, the situation was tense for a moment as Big John reached into his pocket, and the driver began to wonder whether he’d done the right thing after all.

Then Big John smiled as he withdrew his hand from his pocket and said, “Because I’ve got this bus pass!”

3. Taking a mistress:

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer nerd were discussing the merits of having a mistress.

“A mistress has energy and passion,” said the artist. “And there’s always the thrill of doing something that’s forbidden.”

“Well,” said the lawyer, “I must warn you that it could lead to a costly divorce and, in the worst case, bankruptcy. You’d have to ask yourself, is it worth it?”

“Well, I think taking a mistress was the best decision I’ve ever made,” said the computer nerd.

“Why?” asked the lawyer.

“Because my wife thinks I’m with my mistress, and my mistress thinks I’m with my wife,” the computer nerd responded with a smile. “So, I get to spend every night in peace on my computer!”

4. Keeping a secret:

A group of dinner party guests were discussing whether men or women are more trustworthy.

Jack, a very opinionated older man, said bluntly, “Well, no woman can keep a secret.”

“That’s not true!” said Jane, a pretty, young blond sitting next to him.

“So, give me an example of when you’ve kept a secret then,” Jack responded.

“Well,” said Jane, “I’ve kept my age totally secret since I was 21.”

“Maybe,” said Jack, “but one day you’ll let it slip. You won’t be able to keep it secret forever.”

“I disagree,” Jane responded. “If I’ve managed to keep it secret for 15 years, then why couldn’t I keep it secret forever?”

5. Native American Chief:

Bill was studying for a Master’s Degree in American Studies at the University of London. He loved American culture, so naturally, he was a regular traveller to the USA. In particular, he liked getting to know real America beyond the obvious tourist destinations.

On one trip, he was staying in a hotel in Cheyenne, Wyoming, when he saw an old Native American chief in full Native dress sitting in the lobby.

“Wow, who’s that?” Bill asked the desk clerk.

“Oh, that’s Chief Elephant’s Memory,” the clerk responded.

“Why’s he called Chief Elephant’s Memory?” asked Bill.

“Because he’s 93 and he still has the most amazing memory. He never forgets anything,” said the clerk. “You might not believe this, but he can actually remember every single detail of his life with immediate recall.”

“Really?” Bill said, intrigued by what he was being told.

So Bill walked up to the chief and said, “Hi there, I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve heard you have the most amazing memory. They say you can remember every detail of your life. Can you tell me what you had for breakfast on your eighteenth birthday?”

“Eggs,” replied the Chief quietly.

Bill was amazed at this response, but as he walked away, the desk clerk called him over and said, “Hey buddy, when you speak to one of our Native Americans, you don’t say ‘Hi there’, it’s common courtesy to address them by saying, ‘How!’”

Bill thanked the clerk for putting him right and promised he’d remember that next time.

One year later, Bill’s back in Cheyenne again. He’s in the same hotel when he spots the same old Native American chief sitting in the lobby.

Remembering the desk clerk’s advice from his previous visit, he walks up to the chief and says, “How!”

“Sunny-side up,” the Chief responded.

Please share this post with your friends:

So did these hilariously funny jokes prove to be as hilariously funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read, please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

More fun you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, hilariously funny jokes, humor, humour, Influencers, Inspiration, jokes, Laugh, Life, LOL, Meaning, smile, Stress-free

7 short story jokes to brighten your day

11/29/2025 by Roy Sutton

Short story jokes are fun; would you agree? So today I offer you 7 short story jokes to brighten your day.

I hope you enjoy them all.

Take a moment to laugh, and then please pass them on.

Short Story Jokes:

1. Gimme a beer:

A man walks into a bar in Downtown Manhattan and says to the bartender, “Gimme a beer before the problems start!“

The man then downs the beer in one before asking the bartender for another, once again saying, “Gimme a beer before the problems start!“

Naturally, the bartender is a little wary of this guy, but he pours him another beer nevertheless.

This goes on for a while, each time with the guy saying, “Gimme a beer before the problems start!“

After the fifth beer, the bartender is really becoming bewildered by this guy’s approach, so he asks, “Hey buddy, when are you going to pay for all these beers?“

The sighs and says, “This is where the problems start!“

2. Twin boys:

A young woman has twin boys, but is forced sadly to give them up for adoption.

One boy is adopted by a family in Morocco, and they name him Amal.

The other boy goes to a family in Spain, and they name him Juan.

Many years later, the woman receives a letter from Juan, which includes a recent photograph of him.

As she’s looking at the photograph, the woman says tearfully to her husband, “Oh, how I wish I had a photograph of Amal too.”

Slightly bewildered, the husband thinks momentarily and then says, ”They’re twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

3. There’s always one:

A bus full of passengers crashes on an icy road and bursts into flames. Sadly, everyone on the bus is killed instantly in the crash.

When they all arrive at the Pearly Gates, the passengers are met by God, which is an unusual precedent, but these were tragic circumstances, so the situation is well above St Peter’s pay grade.

As the passengers form an orderly queue, God says, “Since you all died in such a tragic way, I’m here to grant each of you one wish before you enter the Kingdom of Heaven.“

The woman at the head of the line’s obviously concerned about her looks, and she says to God, “I wish to be beautiful.“

God smiles, grants the wish, and instantly she is gorgeous.

The next woman hesitates momentarily, but then she decides to wish for the same thing.

Once again, God smiles, grants the wish, and instantly, she is also beautiful.

Whilst all this is going on, a guy at the back of the queue starts to laugh.

Two more women, on seeing how beautiful their two fellow passengers have become, also wish to become beautiful.

God smiles again; their wishes are granted, and they, too, are now beautiful.

By now, the guy at the end of the line is laughing even louder.

Nevertheless, one after another, the deceased passengers all request the same wish.

However, with each wish granted, the guy at the end of the line seems to laugh even harder.

Finally, it’s this guy’s turn to request his wish when God asks, “My son, what’s your wish?”

To which the guy responds, “Make them all ugly again!“

Moral of the Story: There’s always someone determined to ruin it for everyone else.

4. Recreating a miracle:

A priest walks into a bar, orders a pint of water, and then sits down to drink it in complete silence.

After a while, he orders another pint of water and drinks it in one go.

Then he orders another pint, drinks it, then another, and so on.

Eventually, he’s consumed 10 pints of water, and he’s starting to look a little unwell.

“Look, Father,” says the bartender, “I can’t stop you from drinking all this water, but is it wise? Drinking so much of it is clearly making you unwell.”

The priest looks up from his latest pint of water and says, “I’m on a mission to prove that with the power of prayer and God’s blessing, we can recreate Jesus’ great miracle of turning water into wine. Until it happens, I must continue.”

“Father, you have my sympathy,” says the bartender.

“It could be a lot worse,” says the priest, as he points to another priest who is slumped unconscious at another table.

“Jeez!” says the bartender. “What’s happened to him?”

“Well,” the priest responded, “his mission is to turn wine into water.”

5. Living forever:

A guy goes to see his doctor and asks what he needs to do to live forever.

His doctor looks him in the eye and says, “If you want to live forever, you’ll need to make some lifestyle changes.”

“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “just tell me what I need to do.”

“Well, first you’ll need to eliminate all sugar and white flour from your diet,” says his doctor.

“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”

“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all stimulants, including caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine.”

“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”

“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all fried food from your diet, including French fries and potato chips.”

“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”

“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all red meat and rich food from your diet.”

“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”

“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to stop socialising and partying and go to bed at 8 pm every evening.”

“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “Anything else?”

“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all sexual activity from your life.”

The guy’s starting to look a little deflated as he asks his last question.

“So, Doc,” says the guy, “if I do all these things, will I live forever, yes?”

“Well,” says the doctor, “it’ll definitely feel like forever.”

6. The problem with getting old:

An 85-year-old man was asked by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical examination.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.“

The next day, the old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as it had been on the previous day.

Naturally, the doctor inquired as to what happened.

“Well, doctor,” the old man explained, “it was like this. First, I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, and still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, but still nothing. We even called up Maggie, the lady next door. She tried with both hands, followed by her armpit. She even tried squeezing it between her knees. However, still nothing.“

Looking shocked, the doctor said, “You asked a neighbour?“

Looking slightly surprised, the old man says, “Yes, but none of us could get the lid off the jar.“

7. Swapping places:

One day, Einstein had to speak at an important science conference.

Now, Einstein’s driver To,m looked remarkably like him, a fact of which Einstein was well aware.

In the car, on the way to the conference, Einstein said, “You know, Tom, I’m sick of speaking at conferences. I just say the same things over and over!“

Tom smiled and said, “You’re right. I’ve attended all of them with you, and even though I’m not a scientist, I’m sure I could give the conference in your place.“

“Now that’s a great idea, Tom!” said Einstein. “Let’s switch places.“

So they immediately switch clothes; Einstein hands Tom his notes, and when they arrive at the conference, Tom goes on stage, and he starts giving the speech.

Meanwhile, dressed in the driver’s uniform, Einstein sits at the side of the stage.

Unfortunately, lurking in the audience is one scientist who is determined to impress everyone by asking a difficult question he hopes Einstein will not be able to answer.

When he gets his chance, this guy seizes the moment and interrupts the conference with his very difficult question.

It’s a real curveball, and the audience knows it. The whole room is silent, holding their breath, waiting for Einstein’s response. You could hear a pin drop.

However, Tom has been around the block a few times, and he wasn’t easily fazed.

He looked the guy dead in the eye, smiled at him, and said, “Sir, to demonstrate how easy it is to answer your question, I will let my driver reply to it for me.“

Please share this post with your friends:

If you did enjoy any of these short story jokes, dear reader, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Thank you.

More fun you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Life, short story jokes, smile, Stress-free

21 silly jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

11/27/2025 by Roy Sutton

If jokes that are just slightly silly appeal to you, then here are 21 silly jokes guaranteed to make you laugh.

These are the sort of jokes you’d find in Christmas crackers. Corny, but you can’t help laughing at them. Well, groaning anyway.

Certainly, they all made me smile, and I hope you enjoy them too, dear reader.

Take a few moments to enjoy them, and then please feel free to pass them on.

Silly Jokes:

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive? A Minnie van.

What do you get when you cross a dog with an antenna? A Golden Receiver.

Where should a 600-pound gorilla go? On a diet

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A bed.

What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me, and we’ll go places!

What would happen if you threw yellow sneakers into the Red Sea? They’d get wet.

Why did the photograph go to jail? Because it was framed.

What would Bears become without Bees? Ears.

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

Where do cucumbers go on a date night? The salad bar.

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball.

Why was the chicken arrested? Fowl play.

Why can’t pigs keep secrets? They keep squealing.

How do trees get on the internet? They log in.

What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed.

Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away.

If the early bird gets the worms, what does the worm get? Eaten.

Why couldn’t the pirates learn the alphabet? They kept getting stuck at C.

Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these silly jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

23 witty short jokes to tickle you and brighten your day

11/26/2025 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for some witty short jokes to make you smile, then here are 23 that I hope will brighten your day.

There’s nothing like a good laugh to make the day feel brighter. Well, I think so, anyway.

So, enjoy the fun, and then please pass them on.

Witty Short Jokes:

I saw a robbery in an Apple Store. Does that make me an iWitness?
Q: Does February like March? A: No, but April May
I have a fear of long distances, so I go to great lengths to avoid them.
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground beef.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Q: What did the snowman say to the customer? A: Have an ice day!
Milk is the fastest liquid on earth. It’s pasteurized before you even see it!
Q: Why do seals swim in saltwater? A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
I had a fear of speed bumps but I slowly got over it
Q: When does a duck wake up? A: At the quack of dawn.
My girlfriend left me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I don’t have any.
Q: How does an Elephant get out of a tree? A: It sits on a leaf and waits till the Fall.
I don’t normally tell Dad jokes, but when I do, he always laughs.
Q: Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A: A convict.
I went to my doctor to see why I had such an excessive fear of snakes. He said I have a reptile dysfunction.
Q: What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? A: No eye deer.
A girl in the office asked me if I had a date for Valentine’s Day. I told her it’s always February 14^th, as far as I know.
Q: What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers? A: Leeks!
An old man is struck by a car and brought to the hospital. A nurse enters his room and says, “Sir, are you comfortable?” The old man replies, “I make a nice living.”
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin who’s trying to quit smoking? A: A pumpkin patch!
I have a fear of overly designed buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.
Q: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs!
I saw a math book and a dictionary on a date last night. They looked like they had good chemistry!

Please share this post with your friends:

Perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, please click on the links below.

And if you did enjoy this post then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share witty jokes, surely everyone’s a winner?

Your support is truly appreciated.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, funniest jokes, funny, funny joke, funny jokes, humor, humour, jokes, Laugh, short funny stories, short jokes, witty jokes, witty short jokes

5 long funny stories with morals to tell your friends

11/22/2025 by Roy Sutton

Here are five long funny stories with morals to tell your friends. They all made me smile, and I hope they brighten your day, too.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to share them.

Long funny stories with morals:

1. The nuns’ dilemma:

There were these two very clever, Catholic nuns. They were so clever that one was known only as Sister Mathematical, whilst the other went only by the name of Sister Logical.

One afternoon, they were returning to the Convent of St Mary, but they were still a long way off when it was beginning to get dark.

“Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?” said Sister Mathematical. “I wonder what he wants?”

“There’s a logical explanation,” said Sister Logical, “He wants to have his wicked way with us.”

“Oh Lord, no!” Sister Mathematical responded. “At the rate at which he’s walking, he will catch up with us in 13.8 minutes. What can we do?”

“The logical thing would be to walk faster.” Sister Logical replied.

So they carried on at a brisk pace, trying not to look back.

A few minutes went by, and Sister Mathematical observed, “We’ve doubled our pace, but this plan isn’t working.”

“Naturally, it’s not working,” said Sister Logical, “The man responded logically by quickening his pace too. He’s now gaining on us.”

“What can we do?” asked Sister Mathematical. “At this rate, he’ll reach us in less than one minute.”

“The logical thing to do now is to split”, replied Sister Logical. “If we go off in different directions, he can’t follow both of us.”

So off they went in different directions and, as luck would have it, the man followed Sister Logical.

Eventually, Sister Mathematical arrived back at the convent, but she was worried about what might have happened to her friend.

Within a few minutes, Sister Logical suddenly appeared, back at the convent.

“Oh, Sister Logical”, Sister Mathematical exclaimed. “Thank the Lord, you’re back safely. Tell me what happened.”

“Well, logically, the man could only follow one of us”, said Sister Logical, “and he chose to follow me.”

“Yes, yes!” said Sister Mathematical, “But what happened then?”

“Well, I took the logical course of action”, said Sister Logical, “and I ran as fast as I could and even faster than we had been running together.”

“So then what happened?” Sister Mathematical replied.

“He responded logically, and he ran even faster, too,” said Sister Logical. “And within a minute, he’d caught up with me.”

“Oh, dear Lord!” said Sister Mathematical. “What did you do then?”

“I did the only logical thing I could do”, Sister Logical replied, “I lifted the skirt of my habit to my waist.”

“Oh, dear Lord!” said Sister Mathematical. “And what did he do then?”

“The logical thing for him”, Sister Logical replied. “He pulled his trousers down to his ankles.”

“Oh, dear Lord!” said Sister Mathematical. “And what happened next?”

“Isn’t that logical, Sister?” Sister Logical responded. “A nun with her habit up can run a lot faster than a man with his trousers down.”

Moral of the Story: Readers eagerly anticipating a story of a more adult nature, go and say three Hail Marys!

2. Community service:

One day, a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

The barber did an excellent job and, being very pleased with the result, the florist asked for the bill.

“There’s no charge today, sir”, said the barber. “I can’t accept money from you because I’m doing community service this week.”

The florist appreciated this generous gesture, so he thanked the barber and left the shop.

However, when the barber arrived to open his shop the next morning, a dozen roses were waiting for him on his doorstep with a Thank You card from the florist.

Not long after the shop opened, a cop came in for a haircut.

Once again, the barber does an excellent job, but when the cop tries to settle the bill, he gets the same response.

“There’s no charge today, sir”, said the barber. “I can’t accept money from you because I’m doing community service this week.”

The cop said he appreciated the gesture and thanked the barber. He then left the shop.

However, when the barber arrived to open his shop the next morning, there was a box of a dozen donuts waiting for him on his doorstep with a Thank You card from the cop.

Later that day, a congressman walked in for a haircut.

Once again, the barber excelled himself, producing the perfect haircut, but when the congressman tried to settle the bill, he got the same response too.

“There’s no charge today, sir”, said the barber. “I can’t accept money from you because I’m doing community service this week.”

So the congressman thanked the barber and happily left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open his shop, there were a dozen congressmen lined up in the street waiting for a free haircut.

Moral of the Story: Politicians are driven only by self-interest and what’s in it for them.

3. Sunday Service:

It’s Sunday morning, and the Pastor at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Carmel, California, is delivering his sermon.

Midway through the sermon, the Pastor asks three men in the front row, “Gentlemen, what would you want your loved ones to say as they’re looking down at you in your coffin?”

Phil responds first and says, “That I was a good husband and father.”

Then Jim says, “That I lived an honest life and was kind to others.”

Finally, Dan couldn’t help himself, and he quips, “Look! He’s moving!“

Moral of the Story: Never, ever take life too seriously.

4. The crocodile farm:

There was a group of tourists visiting a crocodile farm in the Florida Keys, and they were standing on a floating structure in the middle of an enormous lake, surrounded by crocodiles.

Suddenly, the farm’s owner shouts, “The first person to jump into the lake and successfully swim to shore will receive 10 million dollars.”

The silence was deafening. People were looking at each other with expressions of absolute horror on their faces.

Then suddenly, a man jumps into the water and starts swimming like his life depended on it.

As the other visitors watched events unfold, the man headed for the shore, with a dozen crocodiles chasing in hot pursuit, all anticipating an unexpected meal.

The crocodiles were fast, but the man swam like greased lightning, and he managed to reach the shore unharmed.

As the man staggered up the beach, the owner announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!”

After receiving the reward, the man and his wife returned to their hotel.

The man’s face was still ashen as he said to his wife, “I didn’t jump. Someone pushed me.“

His wife smiled and, with a wink of her eye, said, “I know, dear, it was me!“

Moral of the Story: Behind every successful man, there’s always a woman to give him a little push.

5. The old lady at the bank:

An old lady walked up to the counter in her bank, handed her bank card to the teller and then said, “Mam, I would like to withdraw $10.”

Giving the old lady a look bordering on contempt, the teller replied, “For withdrawals of less than $100, you must use the ATM, mam.”

Looking a little crestfallen, the old lady asked why she couldn’t withdraw her money from the counter.

“These are the rules, mam,” said the teller irritably, as she returned the bank card to the old lady. “Now move along, please, because there’s a line of customers behind you.”

The old lady remained silent for a few seconds as she gathered her thoughts.

She then handed the card back to the teller and said, “Then please, can you help me withdraw all the money I have in my account?”

The teller took the old lady’s card and tapped her details into the computer. She was astonished to see just how much the old lady had in her account.

“Mam, you have over $300,000 in your account,” said the teller, “the bank doesn’t have that much cash available today. You’ll need to make an appointment and come back tomorrow?”

The old lady smiled and asked, “How much can I withdraw now?”

“Well, mam, you can withdraw up to $3,000”, the teller responded.

“In that case, let me have $3,000 now, in $10 bills, please“, said the old lady.

So, the teller laboriously counted out the $3,000 in $10 bills, then counted again, and finally, she handed the cash to the old lady.

As the old lady took $10 from the top of the pile and put it in her purse, the teller then said, “Would there be anything else I can help you with today, mam?”

“Yes!” said the old lady with a smile, “I’d like to deposit $2990 into my account, please.”

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with old people; they’ve spent a lifetime mastering skills younger people couldn’t even begin to appreciate.

Please share the fun with your friends:

So dear reader, were these long funny stories with morals as amusing as you’d hoped? Did they make you laugh?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

More fun you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support cost of maintaining this website. Thank you for your support.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, funny jokes to tell your friends, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Laugh, LOL, long funny stories with morals, Meaning, Philosophy, smile, Stress-free

12 brilliant original Limericks written just for you

11/20/2025 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for original limericks, then look no further.

If you enjoy the style of poems known as limericks, here are 12 original ones just for you, dear reader.

They’re all written by me. So, definitely original limericks. I hope you enjoy them.

If they do appeal to you, please feel free to share them.

ORIGINAL LIMERICKS

Please share this post with your friends:

So, dear reader, did you enjoy any of these original limericks? I hope you did anyway.

If you’re looking for more smiles, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read in this post, please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. So go on, please share it now.

Thank you. for your support, dear reader.

Articles that might also appeal to you:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. Thank you for your support.