Short story jokes are fun; would you agree? So today I offer you 7 short story jokes to brighten your day.
I hope you enjoy them all.
Take a moment to laugh, and then please pass them on.
Short Story Jokes:
1. Gimme a beer:
A man walks into a bar in Downtown Manhattan and says to the bartender, “Gimme a beer before the problems start!“
The man then downs the beer in one before asking the bartender for another, once again saying, “Gimme a beer before the problems start!“
Naturally, the bartender is a little wary of this guy, but he pours him another beer nevertheless.
This goes on for a while, each time with the guy saying, “Gimme a beer before the problems start!“
After the fifth beer, the bartender is really becoming bewildered by this guy’s approach, so he asks, “Hey buddy, when are you going to pay for all these beers?“
The sighs and says, “This is where the problems start!“
2. Twin boys:
A young woman has twin boys, but is forced sadly to give them up for adoption.
One boy is adopted by a family in Morocco, and they name him Amal.
The other boy goes to a family in Spain, and they name him Juan.
Many years later, the woman receives a letter from Juan, which includes a recent photograph of him.
As she’s looking at the photograph, the woman says tearfully to her husband, “Oh, how I wish I had a photograph of Amal too.”
Slightly bewildered, the husband thinks momentarily and then says, ”They’re twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
3. There’s always one:
A bus full of passengers crashes on an icy road and bursts into flames. Sadly, everyone on the bus is killed instantly in the crash.
When they all arrive at the Pearly Gates, the passengers are met by God, which is an unusual precedent, but these were tragic circumstances, so the situation is well above St Peter’s pay grade.
As the passengers form an orderly queue, God says, “Since you all died in such a tragic way, I’m here to grant each of you one wish before you enter the Kingdom of Heaven.“
The woman at the head of the line’s obviously concerned about her looks, and she says to God, “I wish to be beautiful.“
God smiles, grants the wish, and instantly she is gorgeous.
The next woman hesitates momentarily, but then she decides to wish for the same thing.
Once again, God smiles, grants the wish, and instantly, she is also beautiful.
Whilst all this is going on, a guy at the back of the queue starts to laugh.
Two more women, on seeing how beautiful their two fellow passengers have become, also wish to become beautiful.
God smiles again; their wishes are granted, and they, too, are now beautiful.
By now, the guy at the end of the line is laughing even louder.
Nevertheless, one after another, the deceased passengers all request the same wish.
However, with each wish granted, the guy at the end of the line seems to laugh even harder.
Finally, it’s this guy’s turn to request his wish when God asks, “My son, what’s your wish?”
To which the guy responds, “Make them all ugly again!“
Moral of the Story: There’s always someone determined to ruin it for everyone else.
4. Recreating a miracle:
A priest walks into a bar, orders a pint of water, and then sits down to drink it in complete silence.
After a while, he orders another pint of water and drinks it in one go.
Then he orders another pint, drinks it, then another, and so on.
Eventually, he’s consumed 10 pints of water, and he’s starting to look a little unwell.
“Look, Father,” says the bartender, “I can’t stop you from drinking all this water, but is it wise? Drinking so much of it is clearly making you unwell.”
The priest looks up from his latest pint of water and says, “I’m on a mission to prove that with the power of prayer and God’s blessing, we can recreate Jesus’ great miracle of turning water into wine. Until it happens, I must continue.”
“Father, you have my sympathy,” says the bartender.
“It could be a lot worse,” says the priest, as he points to another priest who is slumped unconscious at another table.
“Jeez!” says the bartender. “What’s happened to him?”
“Well,” the priest responded, “his mission is to turn wine into water.”
5. Living forever:
A guy goes to see his doctor and asks what he needs to do to live forever.
His doctor looks him in the eye and says, “If you want to live forever, you’ll need to make some lifestyle changes.”
“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “just tell me what I need to do.”
“Well, first you’ll need to eliminate all sugar and white flour from your diet,” says his doctor.
“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”
“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all stimulants, including caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine.”
“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”
“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all fried food from your diet, including French fries and potato chips.”
“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”
“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all red meat and rich food from your diet.”
“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “I can do that. Anything else?”
“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to stop socialising and partying and go to bed at 8 pm every evening.”
“OK, Doc,” says the guy, “Anything else?”
“Yes,” the doctor responds. “You’ll need to eliminate all sexual activity from your life.”
The guy’s starting to look a little deflated as he asks his last question.
“So, Doc,” says the guy, “if I do all these things, will I live forever, yes?”
“Well,” says the doctor, “it’ll definitely feel like forever.”
6. The problem with getting old:
An 85-year-old man was asked by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical examination.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.“
The next day, the old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as it had been on the previous day.
Naturally, the doctor inquired as to what happened.
“Well, doctor,” the old man explained, “it was like this. First, I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, and still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, but still nothing. We even called up Maggie, the lady next door. She tried with both hands, followed by her armpit. She even tried squeezing it between her knees. However, still nothing.“
Looking shocked, the doctor said, “You asked a neighbour?“
Looking slightly surprised, the old man says, “Yes, but none of us could get the lid off the jar.“
7. Swapping places:
One day, Einstein had to speak at an important science conference.
Now, Einstein’s driver To,m looked remarkably like him, a fact of which Einstein was well aware.
In the car, on the way to the conference, Einstein said, “You know, Tom, I’m sick of speaking at conferences. I just say the same things over and over!“
Tom smiled and said, “You’re right. I’ve attended all of them with you, and even though I’m not a scientist, I’m sure I could give the conference in your place.“
“Now that’s a great idea, Tom!” said Einstein. “Let’s switch places.“
So they immediately switch clothes; Einstein hands Tom his notes, and when they arrive at the conference, Tom goes on stage, and he starts giving the speech.
Meanwhile, dressed in the driver’s uniform, Einstein sits at the side of the stage.
Unfortunately, lurking in the audience is one scientist who is determined to impress everyone by asking a difficult question he hopes Einstein will not be able to answer.
When he gets his chance, this guy seizes the moment and interrupts the conference with his very difficult question.
It’s a real curveball, and the audience knows it. The whole room is silent, holding their breath, waiting for Einstein’s response. You could hear a pin drop.
However, Tom has been around the block a few times, and he wasn’t easily fazed.
He looked the guy dead in the eye, smiled at him, and said, “Sir, to demonstrate how easy it is to answer your question, I will let my driver reply to it for me.“
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Thank you.
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