20 classic Elaine Benes quotes that’ll make you smile

12/16/2025 by

Another offering in my series with the theme of memorable sitcom characters, today, I thought it would be entertaining to take a look back at some classic Elaine Benes quotes.

Who can forget this brilliant character from the American sitcom Seinfeld, played by the hugely talented Julia Louis-Dreyfus?

Elaine was a woman holding her own in a man’s world. She was smart and funny, and she brought a sparkle to the show. However, like all memorable sitcom characters, she was essentially a little flawed too, as you’ll appreciate from the quotes today.

If you love Seinfeld, I’m sure you will be a fan of Elaine Benes.

However, if you’re not old enough to remember Seinfeld and Elaine Benes, in particular, then you’ll find plenty of amusing clips from this sitcom, and featuring the character Elaine Benes, on YouTube.

They’re all brilliant and definitely well worth a little piece of your time.

So check them out, but not before you’ve enjoyed these 20 classic Elaine Benes quotes, which I’m confident will raise a smile or two and will probably resonate with many female readers, too, I’m sure.

Elaine Benes Quotes
Make Money

Elaine Benes Quotes:

  1. I’m dead now. Gotta go! ~ Elaine Benes
  2. I’m not a lesbian! I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian. ~ Elaine Benes
  3. Some people should just give up. I have. ~ Elaine Benes
  4. I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie. ~ Elaine Benes
  5. We just tease someone ’til they develop an eating disorder. ~ Elaine Benes
  6. I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people. ~ Elaine Benes
  7. He’s a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts. ~ Elaine Benes
  8. Well, that’s the positive thing about getting sick, you get to lose weight. ~ Elaine Benes
  9. I think this is the same one I gave him. He recycled this gift. He’s a re-gifter! ~ Elaine Benes
  10. You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn’t necessarily make you a homos*xual. ~ Elaine Benes
  11. I can’t do this anymore, it’s too long! Just tell your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! Die! ~ Elaine Benes
  12. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t break up nicely. I mean, to me, that’s one of the most important parts of a relationship. ~ Elaine Benes
  13. You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off. ~ Elaine Benes
  14. Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to Hell. ~ Elaine Benes
  15. I mean the problem is that the good ones know they’re good. And they know they’re in such demand they’re just not interested in confining themselves to one person. ~ Elaine Benes
  16. That’s the bra I gave her, she’s wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She’s a menace to society. ~ Elaine Benes
  17. Kramer, you don’t understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand. ~ Elaine Benes
  18. You know, your whole life, you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple, and then BOOM, suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it. ~ Elaine Benes
  19. Yeah, since she met him, she’s been vomited on, her family cabin’s been burned down, she learned her father’s a homos*xual, and she got fired from a high-paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going. ~ Elaine Benes
  20. This whole s*x thing is totally overrated. Now, here’s the one thing you’ve gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it’s over. I mean, something happens to their personality; it’s really quite astounding. It’s like they committed a crime, and they want to flee the scene before the police get there. ~ Elaine Benes
Saily eSIM

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find these classic Elaine Benes quotes amusing, dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If you enjoyed them, please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

So please share this post now. If you can do that for me, then I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience, and that will be your good deed for the day.

Thank you.

Phil Sutton
Go Explore London

Articles you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

21 Interesting quotes by John Cleese to inspire you

12/12/2025 by

As he is one of the greatest talents in British comedy, I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the many quotes by John Cleese.

John Marwood Cleese is an English actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer.

Educated at the University of Cambridge, he emerged from the Cambridge Footlights in the 1960s, and he first achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

He also collaborated with David Frost and was a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report.

However, he is probably best known for his association with two classics of British comedy, namely Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, for both of which he was both a writer and performer.

He was also a co-founder of the production company Video Arts, famous for making entertaining and memorable training films. Many readers will have seen these training films over the years, I’m sure.

By any measure, John Cleese is a successful man, and, as I always say, it’s always worth listening to successful people.

So, here are 21 quotes by John Cleese that I hope you’ll find interesting. Certainly, I did.

Phil Sutton

Quotes by John Cleese (1-10):

  1. He who laughs most learns best.
  2. Don’t let anyone tell you what you ought to like.
  3. Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
  4. A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.
  5. The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
  6. Who’s ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!
  7. I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
  8. The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not-very-good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
  9. Now, most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That’s not enough anymore, and I think that is absolutely tragic, and I’m not exaggerating, that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
  10. I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you’d never get on your own. It’s like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn’t have children without a partner; it was a way of mixing up the genes so you’d get a more interesting product.
Saily eSIM

Quotes by John Cleese (11-21):

  1. If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
  2. Well, the only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it.
  3. You don’t have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life is about change.
  4. I think that money spoils most things once it becomes the primary motivating force.
  5. A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.
  6. I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that’s to get rid of all my other desires.
  7. Most of the bad taste I’ve been accused of has been generic bad taste; it’s been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
  8. I love having different cultures around, but when the parent culture kind of dissipates, you’re left thinking, ‘Well, what’s going on?’
  9. When you’ve been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don’t know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it’s going to be.
  10. If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
  11. I think it’s because in America you always get the sense that if you fail, you can just pack up your things and go somewhere else and try again. But in England, it’s so geographically small that if somebody succeeds here, it reduces your chances of succeeding.
Make Money

Please share this post:

So dear reader, were these quotes by John Cleese as interesting as you’d hoped? Some, perhaps?

If any of these quotes touched you in some way, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now, and I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support.

Articles that might appeal to you:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 hilariously funny jokes that’ll tickle you silly

12/03/2025 by
5 hilariously funny jokes

Today, I offer you five hilariously funny jokes that will definitely tickle you, dear reader. Well, they certainly tickled me anyway. So take a moment or two to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

HILARIOUSLY FUNNY JOKES
Make Money

Hilariously funny jokes:

1. Car trouble:

Jane was driving along Interstate 5 on her way to San Diego when her old car suddenly died on her. Naturally, she called out a local mechanic to help her.

The mechanic arrived and said, “Howdy mam, what seems to be the problem?”

“Well,” said Jane, “I was just driving along when suddenly I lost all power, and the car came to a complete standstill.”

“Now, let me just take a look for you mam,” said the mechanic.

At this point, he lifts the hood and gives the engine a cursory glance before whacking something very hard with a hammer.

“Try it now mam,” said the mechanic.

To Jane’s amazement, when she turned the key, the car burst into life again.

“That’s incredible!” said Jane. “You’ve been here for less than 30 seconds, and you’ve already got it going again. I’m very grateful. Thank you.”

“All part of the service mam!” the mechanic responded before adding, “That’ll be $250.”

Jane couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “How much?” she said. “How can it be $250 when all you did was hit something with a hammer?”

“Well mam,” said the mechanic, “I can produce an itemised bill if you like.”

“Yes, please,” said Jane, “you do that! It’ll make interesting reading.”

So the mechanic started tapping something into an iPad, and then he printed it out on a printer in his truck. He then handed Jane the bill. It read:

2. The new bus driver:

The new bus driver pulled his bus up at the bus stop, and on stepped a giant of a man who said to the driver, “Big John don’t pay!” before walking off and taking his seat.

Well, Big John was aptly named; he really was a monster of a man, and the driver was small and skinny, so he figured that a confrontation with Big John might not end well. Not for him anyway. So he let it go.

The next day, the same thing happened. The bus stopped, Big John got on, and once again he told the driver, “Big John don’t pay!” before going straight to his seat.

Again, the new driver was reluctant to challenge him because of his size.

Well, this became a daily occurrence, and increasingly the new bus driver began to resent being afraid of Big John.

So he decided to sign up for a bodybuilding class at his local gym. He figured that if he was more muscular, he’d be equipped to challenge Big John and force him to pay the fare. This became an obsession with him, and he worked hard on it.

Before long, the bus driver had rippling muscles where once there had only been skin and bone. And as his physical appearance became more impressive, the driver felt confident and ready to confront Big John the next time he got on his bus.

Sure enough, at the usual stop, onto the bus stepped Big John, with his usual declaration, “Big John don’t pay!”

“Now just hold it there, fella!” said the driver, ready and waiting for a confrontation. “And just why don’t Big John pay?”

Well, the situation was tense for a moment as Big John reached into his pocket, and the driver began to wonder whether he’d done the right thing after all.

Then Big John smiled as he withdrew his hand from his pocket and said, “Because I’ve got this bus pass!”

3. Taking a mistress:

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer nerd were discussing the merits of having a mistress.

“A mistress has energy and passion,” said the artist. “And there’s always the thrill of doing something that’s forbidden.”

“Well,” said the lawyer, “I must warn you that it could lead to a costly divorce and, in the worst case, bankruptcy. You’d have to ask yourself, is it worth it?”

“Well, I think taking a mistress was the best decision I’ve ever made,” said the computer nerd.

“Why?” asked the lawyer.

“Because my wife thinks I’m with my mistress, and my mistress thinks I’m with my wife,” the computer nerd responded with a smile. “So, I get to spend every night in peace on my computer!”

Saily eSIM

4. Keeping a secret:

A group of dinner party guests were discussing whether men or women are more trustworthy.

Jack, a very opinionated older man, said bluntly, “Well, no woman can keep a secret.”

“That’s not true!” said Jane, a pretty, young blond sitting next to him.

“So, give me an example of when you’ve kept a secret then,” Jack responded.

“Well,” said Jane, “I’ve kept my age totally secret since I was 21.”

“Maybe,” said Jack, “but one day you’ll let it slip. You won’t be able to keep it secret forever.”

“I disagree,” Jane responded. “If I’ve managed to keep it secret for 15 years, then why couldn’t I keep it secret forever?”

5. Native American Chief:

Bill was studying for a Master’s Degree in American Studies at the University of London. He loved American culture, so naturally, he was a regular traveller to the USA. In particular, he liked getting to know real America beyond the obvious tourist destinations.

On one trip, he was staying in a hotel in Cheyenne, Wyoming, when he saw an old Native American chief in full Native dress sitting in the lobby.

“Wow, who’s that?” Bill asked the desk clerk.

“Oh, that’s Chief Elephant’s Memory,” the clerk responded.

“Why’s he called Chief Elephant’s Memory?” asked Bill.

“Because he’s 93 and he still has the most amazing memory. He never forgets anything,” said the clerk. “You might not believe this, but he can actually remember every single detail of his life with immediate recall.”

“Really?” Bill said, intrigued by what he was being told.

So Bill walked up to the chief and said, “Hi there, I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve heard you have the most amazing memory. They say you can remember every detail of your life. Can you tell me what you had for breakfast on your eighteenth birthday?”

“Eggs,” replied the Chief quietly.

Bill was amazed at this response, but as he walked away, the desk clerk called him over and said, “Hey buddy, when you speak to one of our Native Americans, you don’t say ‘Hi there’, it’s common courtesy to address them by saying, ‘How!’”

Bill thanked the clerk for putting him right and promised he’d remember that next time.

One year later, Bill’s back in Cheyenne again. He’s in the same hotel when he spots the same old Native American chief sitting in the lobby.

Remembering the desk clerk’s advice from his previous visit, he walks up to the chief and says, “How!”

“Sunny-side up,” the Chief responded.

Please share this post with your friends:

So did these hilariously funny jokes prove to be as hilariously funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read, please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

More fun you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

15 powerful quotes by George Orwell that’ll make you think

11/28/2025 by

If you’re looking for quotes by George Orwell, you’ll find the ones I’ve curated today interesting.

George Orwell was the pen name of the late author Eric Arthur Blair.

His reputation is built on his pen name, and George Orwell is widely respected as a novelist, essayist, journalist, and critic.

He was arguably one of the great thinkers of the twentieth century, certainly in the English-speaking world.

George Orwell’s best-known novels, Animal Farm and 1984, are still essential reading for anyone with a desire to be considered well-read.

So here are 15 quotes by George Orwell that are guaranteed to make you think, dear reader.

Make Money

Quotes by George Orwell:

  1. Big Brother is watching you. ~George Orwell
  2. At fifty everyone has the face he deserves. ~George Orwell
  3. No one can look back on his schooldays and say with truth that they were altogether unhappy. ~George Orwell
  4. If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. ~George Orwell
  5. In our age, there is no such thing as keeping out of politics. All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. ~George Orwell
  6. Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. ~George Orwell
  7. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. ~George Orwell
  8. Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. ~George Orwell
  9. People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. ~George Orwell
  10. But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. ~George Orwell
  11. So much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don’t even know that fire is hot. ~George Orwell
  12. All the war propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting. ~George Orwell
  13. Society has always demanded a little more from human beings than it will get in practice. ~George Orwell
  14. Early in life, I noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper. ~George Orwell
  15. Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard for all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting. ~George Orwell
Saily eSIM

Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these quotes by George Orwell, then please share this blog post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you can do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Articles you might also enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

15 Quotes by Jim Rohn that will really inspire you

11/27/2025 by

Today I am exploring quotes by Jim Rohn.

The late, great Jim Rohn was, in my opinion, one of the best motivational speakers of all time. Certainly, he’s one of the best I’ve ever heard, and I’ve listened to plenty of them over the years.

Sadly, by the time I came across Jim Rohn, he’d already passed away, but I wish I’d discovered him years ago.

I’ve read all his books, listened to all his audio recordings, and watched all the YouTube videos featuring him and his work. And not just once, I go through his stuff regularly, and I think he’s brilliant.

If you’re looking for inspiration and he’s new to you, then check him out. I promise you, you won’t be disappointed. He is truly inspirational.

To prove my point, here are 15 quotes by Jim Rohn to inspire you.

These are some of Jim Rohn’s best-loved quotes, and I hope at least one or two of them will inspire you today.

Make Money

Quotes by Jim Rohn:

  1. Either you run the day or the day runs you. ~Jim Rohn
  2. Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. ~Jim Rohn
  3. Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. Jim Rohn
  4. The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch. ~Jim Rohn
  5. You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. ~Jim Rohn
  6. Profits are better than wages. Wages make you a living; profits can make you a fortune. ~Jim Rohn
  7. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money but you can’t get more time. ~Jim Rohn
  8. Days are expensive. When you spend a day you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely. ~Jim Rohn
  9. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. ~Jim Rohn
  10. We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. ~Jim Rohn
  11. Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it’s something you design for the present. ~Jim Rohn
  12. If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you’ll have to settle for the ordinary. ~Jim Rohn
  13. Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practised every day. ~Jim Rohn
  14. Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want. ~Jim Rohn
  15. Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals. ~Jim Rohn
Saily eSIM

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find these quotes by Jim Rohn as interesting and inspirational as you’d hoped, dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If that’s the case, then please share them with your friends, because when you share, everyone wins.

So share them now on social media. If you can do that for me, then I would be ever so grateful. Thank you.

Articles that might appeal to you:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Funny Comebacks : Here are 37 for dealing with rude people

11/25/2025 by

The art of funny comebacks is well worth developing.

We all have to deal with rude comments and mean, spiteful people occasionally. That’s all part of human existence.

However, how often do you wish you had a suitable response ready to go to put such people firmly in their place?

If only you had a stock of funny comebacks to choose from when situations dictated.

Well, here are 37 funny comebacks that you might find useful when you’re faced with dealing with rude, mean, or difficult people. How many of these can you use today?

If you particularly like any of these funny comebacks, please share this post with your friends, but only after you’ve enjoyed them all first.

Remember: When you share, everyone wins.

FUNNY COMEBACKS
Make Money

Funny Comebacks (1-10):

  1. You know, you really should buy some breath mints. 
  2. I have better things to do than listen to you.
  3. Whoever told you to be yourself has given you bad advice.
  4. I don’t care what everyone else says; I don’t think you’re that bad.
  5. Stupidity’s not a crime, so you’re free to go.
  6. I believed in evolution until I met you.
  7. Have you ever wondered why people don’t like you?
  8. I accept that I’m not perfect, but at least I’m not you.
  9. If ignorance is bliss, then you must be the happiest person on the planet.
  10. You always bring me so much joy ……. the minute you leave the room.

Funny Comebacks (11-20):

  1. I don’t need a proctologist to tell me you’re an asshole.
  2. I’m not a cactus expert, but I do know a prick when I see one.
  3. I would explain it to you, but I have neither the time nor the crayons! 
  4. Sorry, buddy, but I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.
  5. Look, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was fart.
  6. If only your dad had used a condom, the world would be a better place.
  7. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Take a day off and give the rest of us a break.
  8. Everyone said you were unpleasant, but I didn’t believe them ……. until now.
  9. Sorry, but you’re confusing me with someone who actually cares about what you think.
  10. Are you always such an idiot, or do you just like to show off when I’m around? 
Saily eSIM

Funny Comebacks (21-30):

  1. I don’t remember asking for your opinion.
  2. I understand what you’re saying, but if I agreed with you, then we’d both be wrong.
  3. Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you’re abusing the privilege.
  4. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Well, me neither.
  5. No wonder everyone talks about you behind your back.
  6. Mirrors don’t lie, and lucky for you, they don’t laugh either.
  7. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I can see you’ve already got one.
  8. I’m busy; you’re ugly. Have a nice day.
  9. Why don’t you check eBay and see if they have a personality for sale?
  10. It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid rather than open it and remove all doubt.

Funny Comebacks (31-37):

  1. I hope you step on a Lego with your bare feet. 
  2. You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really.
  3. Of course, I talk like an idiot. How else would you be able to understand me?
  4. You can keep rolling your eyes if you must, but you’re unlikely to find a brain back there.
  5. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
  6. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
  7. You, sir, are a human version of period cramps.

Please share this post with your friends:

So, dear reader, was this post worth a little piece of your time? Did you enjoy reading it?

If you enjoyed this post, then please share it with your friends on social media.

People really do love sharp and funny comebacks, so please share this post now.

If you could share it, I’ll be ever so grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Your support is appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Sarcasm Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 amusing short story jokes to make you laugh

10/30/2025 by

Dear reader, are you in need of a little comic relief? Here are 5 amusing short story jokes that will definitely make you laugh.

Take a few minutes to enjoy them all.

And then, please feel free to pass them on.

Make Money

Amusing short story jokes:

1. Escaping a ticket:

Jim was finally enjoying a bit of freedom in life, so he decided to buy himself a new Mercedes C-Class Cabriolet.

On the day he collected it from the dealership, he thought it would be a great idea to take his new toy out for a spin on the Interstate.

It was a pleasant evening, so with the top down and the wind in his hair, he decided to really put his foot down until the pedal hit the metal.

The acceleration was amazing, but as the car hit 90 mph, suddenly there was the sound of a siren, and through his rearview mirror, Jim could see blue lights flashing.

Undaunted by this turn of events, Jim just thought to himself, “There’s no way the cops will catch me in a Mercedes at full speed.”

And momentarily, he kept the car going flat out until his speed exceeded 110 mph.

However, his nerve went when he realised that, despite his speed, the cops were actually gaining on him.

So the reality of his situation hit him, and Jim thought, “What the hell am I doing?“

He slowed down and pulled over.

At the side of the road, the cop came up to him and said, “Sir, could I see your license, please?”

Jim handed over his license.

The cop studied it momentarily and then said to Jim, “Sir, it’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and to be honest, I really don’t feel like doing any more paperwork. So I’ll offer you a deal. If you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, I’ll let you go without a ticket.“

Jim thought for a second and then said, “Officer, a month ago, my wife ran off with a cop. Life has been so good since then, but I was afraid you were chasing in an attempt to give her back to me.“

The cop smiled at Jim and said, “Have a nice weekend, sir.”

And with that, he left Jim to enjoy his new car.

2. The price for a little fun:

It was Friday evening; it had been payday, and Bill had really had a tough week.

So on leaving the office, he decided that instead of going home, he would stay out for the entire weekend partying with his buddies and in the process blow his entire week’s salary.

When he finally arrived home on Sunday evening, he was confronted by his angry wife, and, needless to say, she hurled abuse at him for nearly two hours in a tirade befitting his irresponsible actions.

Finally, as she stopped shouting at him, his wife said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”

“That would be fine with me,” Bill responded unwisely.

Monday went by, and Bill didn’t see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

However, on Thursday, the swelling had gone down sufficiently for Bill to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

3. Dumb man joke:

Jim is taking a shower in the bathroom, and his wife shouts, “Did you find the shampoo, Jim?”

“Yes,” he responds, “but I’m not quite sure what to do, Irene.”

“Why’s that, Jim?” Irene asks.

“Well,” says Jim, “it says it’s for dry hair, but I’ve just wet mine.“

Saily eSIM

4. Out of the mouths of babes:

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot.

One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 4-year-old daughter immediately took an interest in what was going on with the crew on the lot and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Now, the construction crew were decent and friendly guys, and very quickly they adopted the little girl as their project mascot.

They would chat with her, let her sit with them during coffee and lunch breaks, and give her little jobs here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars.

Well, the little girl felt important. She took her pay home to her mother, who encouraged her further and suggested they deposit her two dollars at the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had earned her own money at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.“

“Well, that’s impressive,” said the teller. “Will you be working on the house again next week, too?“

The little girl smiled and then replied, “I will if those lazy b*stards at Home Depot ever deliver the f**king bricks.”

5. Unexpected benefit:

Mike and his wife, Liz, had the misfortune to be caught up in a terrible road traffic accident with multiple cars involved. Unfortunately, in the carnage that followed, Liz’s face was severely burned.

She was taken to the local hospital, where the doctor told Mike that she would need a skin graft on her face.

“The problem is,” said the doctor, “your wife is so thin we wouldn’t be able to use any skin from her body for the graft.”

“Could I donate skin from my body?” asked Mike.

“Yes, you can,” said the doctor. “However, the only suitable skin would be skin from your buttocks.”

Mike explained the situation to Liz and asked whether skin from his buttocks would be acceptable to her.

“Well, as long as no one else knows where the skin came from,” said Liz.

Jim assured her that it would be their secret, and the doctor also promised he would honour her request for secrecy.

So Liz had the surgery, and when all the scars had healed, everyone was amazed at how beautiful Liz now looked.

She’d always been attractive, but she was now even more beautiful than she’d been before. All her friends and relatives couldn’t help commenting on her youthful beauty.

One day, Liz was sitting alone with Mike, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

“Mike, I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. There’s no way I could ever repay you,” said Liz.

Mike smiled and kissed her. Then he said, “Darling, think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

Share this post and make others smile:

So were these amusing short story jokes as amusing as you’d hoped they would be, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, please share it all with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support cost of maintaining this website. Thank you for your support.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

17 Quotes by Roald Dahl to get you thinking today

10/28/2025 by

Today, I thought it would be interesting to explore some quotes by Roald Dahl.

Roald Dahl was born in Wales to affluent Norwegian immigrant parents and spent most of his life in England. He served in the Royal Air Force (RAF) during the Second World War.

He is best known worldwide as a novelist, short-story writer, poet, and screenwriter, and his books have sold more than 250 million copies globally.

Roald Dahl has been called one of the greatest storytellers for children of the 20th century. He rose to prominence as a writer in the 1940s with works for children and for adults, and he became one of the world’s best-selling authors.

His works for children include James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, The Witches, Fantastic Mr Fox, The BFG, The Twits, George’s Marvellous Medicine and Danny, the Champion of the World.

His works for older audiences include the short story collections Tales of the Unexpected and The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More.

Given his success, his words are worthy of reflection. So, take a few moments to read these 17 quotes by Roald Dahl.

Make Money

Quotes by Roald Dahl (1-10):

  1. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
  2. Did they preach one thing and practice another, these men of God?
  3. A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom.
  4. Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous anymore.
  5. If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important.
  6. Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have been capable of doing so.
  7. The writer must force himself to work. He must make his own hours and if he doesn’t go to his desk at all there is nobody to scold him.
  8. My father was a Norwegian who came from a small town near Oslo. He broke his arm at the elbow when he was 14, and they amputated it.
  9. I shot down some German planes, and I got shot down myself, crashing in a burst of flames and crawling out, getting rescued by brave soldiers.
  10. The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it’s a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he’s broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it’s not a joke anymore.
Saily eSIM

Quotes by Roald Dahl (11-17):

  1. A writer of fiction lives in fear. Each new day demands new ideas, and he can never be sure whether he is going to come up with them or not.
  2. I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours, a fixed salary, and very little original thinking to do.
  3. Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours, he has been in a different place with totally different people.
  4. Pear Drops were exciting because they had a dangerous taste. All of us were warned against eating them, and the result was that we ate them more than ever.
  5. The adult is the enemy of the child because of the awful process of civilizing this thing that, when it is born, is an animal with no manners, and no moral sense at all.
  6. When you’re writing a book, with people in it as opposed to animals, it is no good having people who are ordinary, because they are not going to interest your readers at all. Every writer in the world must use characters that have something interesting about them, and this is even more true in children’s books.
  7. I find that the only way to make my characters really interesting to children is to exaggerate all their good or bad qualities, and so if a person is nasty or bad or cruel, you make them very nasty, very bad, very cruel. If they are ugly, you make them extremely ugly. That, I think, is fun and makes an impact.

Please share this post:

So dear reader, were these quotes by Roald Dahl as interesting as you’d hoped? Some, perhaps?

If any of these quotes touched you in some way, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now, and I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support.

Articles that might appeal to you:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support cost of maintaining this website. Thank you for your support.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 funny short story jokes guaranteed to raise a laugh

10/27/2025 by

Here are 5 funny short story jokes that I’m confident will make you laugh.

They all made me smile, so I hope you enjoy them too.

So take a few moments to relax and smile, and then feel free to pass them on.

FUNNY SHORT STORY JOKES
Make Money

Funny short story jokes:

1. Speed Cop:

Jim’s a police officer in Morristown, New Jersey.

One day he’s sitting in his squad car on Main Street when a car screams past him doing at least 100 miles an hour.

With blue lights flashing and sirens wailing, Jim chases after the car and pulls it over.

Jim approaches the car and says to the young driver, “Sir, please step out of the car for me.”

“But officer,” said the young man, “I can explain.”

“Just be quiet!” snapped Jim. “Driving at dangerous speeds on Main Street is a felony. You’ll be cooling your heels in jail until the police chief gets back and decides what to do with you.”

“But officer,” the young man responded, “if you’d just let me explain.”

Once again, Jim snapped at him, “Be quiet! You’re going to jail.”

A few hours later, Jim is checking on his prisoner in the holding cell at the station, and the guy is looking a little glum, to say the least. At this point, Jim is feeling a bit sorry for him.

“Hey buddy,” says Jim, “don’t worry. Lucky for you, the police chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” said the young driver. “I’m the groom.”

2. Gambling Habit:

An anxious father met with his son’s school principal, as he was concerned about his son’s obsession with gambling.

“All he ever wants to do is bet,” the father exclaimed to the principal. “He’ll bet on anything. Can you help me?”

The principal considered his question for a moment, and then he said, “I’ll see what I can do.”

A week later, the father met with the principal again to discuss progress.

“I think I’ve cured him of his gambling habit,” the principal told the father.

Encouraged by this comment, the father asked, “How did you manage that?”

Well, the other day, I noticed him looking at my beard, and he said, “Sir, I’ll bet you $10 that’s a false beard.”

“And what happened then?” the father asked.

“Simple, I took the bet, allowed him to tug my beard to prove it was real, and then I made him pay me the $10.” The principal responded. “He won’t do that again. He’ll have learned his lesson.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” said the father. “The other day he bet me $50 that he’d tug at your beard with your permission before the end of the week.”

3. Sunday Service:

One Sunday morning, Pastor Michael told his congregation that the church needed money to repair the church roof and asked the people to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.

By way of encouragement, he said that whoever gave the most money would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed around, Pastor Michael glanced down, and he noticed that someone had placed a bundle of $100 bills in the offering, all bound with an elastic band.

Naturally, he was excited, and he shared his joy with his congregation.

“I’d like to thank whoever placed this bundle in the offering personally,” said Pastor Michael. “There must be $1,000 here. Please make yourself known.”

At this point, a small, elderly lady at the back of the church stood up and shyly raised her hand.

“Mam,” said Pastor Michael, “we’re all so grateful to you. Please come down to the front.”

The little old lady slowly made her way to the front of the congregation, and Pastor Michael took her by the hand.

Naturally, he told her how wonderful it was that she had given so much, and as a thank you, he said, “By way of a reward, you now get to choose three hymns.”

Her eyes began to sparkle as she reflected momentarily and gazed around the congregation.

After a few moments of contemplation, she looked at Pastor Michael and then pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, “Right, I’ll take him and him and him.”

4. Divine justice:

Father Jeremy was a parish priest who was obsessed with playing golf.

He would be at a country club playing golf at every opportunity he got. It was a passion for him.

One summer Sunday, the weather was absolutely glorious, and he realised it was such a perfect day to play golf. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the temperature was really very pleasant.

“Days are rarely better than this for playing golf,” Father Jeremy thought to himself.

This left him with a dilemma. For him, Sunday was a working day, of course, but perhaps he could report in sick and then play golf at the country club in the next town?

Well, his passion for golf got the better of him, and he phoned the curate to tell him he was sick and would not be able to take mass that day.

He then packed his clubs into his car and drove two hours to a country club where he was confident he would not be recognized.

By mid-morning Father Jeremy was standing at the first tee ready to play 18 holes.

Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and the angels are his eyes and ears. And as Father Jeremy was ready to tee off, one angel was watching him with concern.

The angel then went to God and said, “Look at that parish priest. He should be preaching to his congregation today, not playing golf.”

God frowned at the angel and agreed that this was not what he’d expect from a parish priest on a Sunday.

“Leave it to me,” said God.

At this point, Father Jeremy teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it glided effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup 250 yards away. It was a perfect hole-in-one.

Never before had Father Jeremy achieved such golfing perfection, so naturally, he was both amazed and very excited.

The angel looked on from above, and he was shocked. He turned to God and said, “Lord, I’m sorry, but I thought you said you were going to punish him.“

“I have,” said God.

“How?” the angel responded.

God smiled and said, “Think about it. Who can he possibly tell about this now?“

5. The helicopter ride:

Dan and his wife, Mary, went to the state fair every year.

And every year Dan would say to Mary, “You know, Mary, I would love to go for a ride in the helicopter.“

Mary’s response was always the same.

“I know that, Dan, but the helicopter ride costs $50, and let’s face it, $50 is $50.” Mary would say.

This went on for many years, and eventually, they were at the fair one year, and Dan said to Mary, “You know, Mary, I’m 87 now. If I don’t ride the helicopter this year, I may not get another chance. I ain’t got much time left.“

Well, Mary had known hard times, so she could never be frivolous with money. Once again, her response was the same, “Dan, you know the helicopter costs $50, and $50 is $50.“

Well, as they were talking, the helicopter pilot overheard their conversation.

“Hey, listen folks,” he said, “I’ll offer you a deal. I’ll take you both for a ride in the helicopter, and if you can both stay completely quiet for the entire ride, then you can have it for free. However, you must not say a word. If you do say anything, you must pay the $50.”

Well, this sounded like a great deal to Dan and Mary, so naturally, they agreed, and up they went in the helicopter.

In an attempt to get them to say something, the pilot performed every fancy trick and move he knew, but they didn’t say a word.

To up the ante, the pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still, there wasn’t so much as one word spoken.

Finally, they landed, and the pilot turned to Dan and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!“

“Well, to be honest,” said Dan, “I almost said something when Mary fell out, but, you know, $50 is $50!“

Saily eSIM

Please share this post with your friends:

So did these funny short story jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might also enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support cost of maintaining this website. Thank you for your support.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10 hilarious jokes sure to make you laugh out loud

10/26/2025 by

If you need a good laugh, and let’s face it, we all need a good laugh, then I have a collection of jokes just for you, dear reader. Here are 10 hilarious jokes sure to make you laugh out loud. 

Take a few moments to enjoy this batch of jokes because let’s face it, it would be wrong not to.

And remember, if they have you laughing, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

If you only do one thing today, then it must be to share the jokes and make people laugh. They’ll be glad you did.

HILARIOUS JOKES
Make Money

Hilarious jokes sure to make you laugh:

1. One man and his talking dog:

Jim walks into a New York bar with his dog Fido.

Jim walks right up to the bar, turns to face the seated customers and says, “This is my dog Fido, and believe it or not, he’s a talking dog. If I can demonstrate to you that Fido can answer any of my questions who will buy me a drink?“

“Listen, buddy, if you can demonstrate that Fido can talk, you can have a drink on the house,” says the bartender.

So Jim turns to Fido and asks, “What goes on the top of a house?“

“Roof!” Fido responds.

“What does tree bark feel like?” asks Jim.

“Rough!” says Fido.

“Who was the greatest baseball player ever?” asks Jim.

“Ruth!” says Fido.

The bartender is really unimpressed with what he’s hearing, and he snaps at Jim. “You’re a phoney buddy. We’re not fooled by any of that. You and your dog can get out of here right now. Go on, on your way!“

As Jim and his dog are thrown out onto the street, Fido looks sadly at Jim and says, “What did I do wrong? Should I have said, Joe DiMaggio or Mickey Mantle?“

2. The Thief and the Parrot:

A thief breaks into a house when he thinks no one will be at home.

He’s creeping carefully through the property, and as he steps into the lounge, he’s stopped dead in his tracks when he suddenly hears someone say very clearly, “Jesus is watching you!”

He stands very still for a moment until everything in the house falls silent again. At this point, he moves forward very slowly.

Once again, he hears that voice, “Jesus is watching you!”

The thief is now frightened out of his wits, and he stops once again to focus on locating the voice.

He’s looking around, peering into the darkness, when he spots a birdcage and in the birdcage is a parrot.

The thief looks the parrot in the eyes and asks, “Was that you who said, ‘Jesus is watching me’?”

“Yes”, said the parrot.

The thief relaxes and breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness for that”, he says to the parrot. “What’s your name?”

“The family here call me Ronald”, said the parrot.

“Ronald? You cannot be serious!” laughs the thief. “What sort of family calls their pet parrot Ronald?”

“The sort of family that calls their ferocious Rottweiler guard dog Jesus,” the parrot responds.

3. Hospital banter:

Five surgeons are taking their lunch break and enjoying a little banter to relax. The conversation moves on quickly to the people they regard as the best patients.

The first surgeon says, “For me, it’s got to be accountants. They are the best people to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered.“

The second surgeon responds, “No, I don’t agree. Librarians have to be the best people to operate on because everything inside them is in alphabetical order.“

The third surgeon thinks for a minute, smiles and then he says, “Sounds like you’ve never operated on an electrician. When you open them up, you’ll find everything inside them is colour-coded!“

The fourth surgeon laughs and says,” Well, personally, I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and butts are interchangeable.“

The fifth surgeon has been quietly listening to the conversation so far when he’s asked by the others what he thinks.

“Well, I like to operate on engineers because they’re always very understanding if I find myself with a few parts left over when the job’s done,” he says.

4. Talking dog for sale:

A couple is out for a walk when they notice a large sign outside a house that reads, “Talking Dog for Sale.”

They are both intrigued by the idea of a talking dog, so they knock on the door and ask if they can take a look at this dog

“Sure!” says the owner, “Come on in.”

The owner escorts them into the lounge where the dog is lying on the sofa watching television.

“Hello,” they say to the dog.

“Hello,” the dog responds.

“What have you done with your life so far then?” the couple asks the dog.

“Well, actually, I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog.

“Really?” says the couple.

“Yes, really,” says the dog. “I’ve lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I work part-time reading to the residents in a retirement home.”

The couple is amazed by this. They can’t believe any dog could have done quite so much.

One of them then asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of this amazing dog?”

“Oh, we’re getting rid of him because he’s a liar. He’s not done any of those things,” says the owner.

5. Miscommunication:

Jed goes into a public restroom, and he’s barely sat down in the cubicle when he hears a voice say, “Hi, how are you?“

Feeling a little embarrassed, Jed says politely, “Well, I guess I’m doing fine, thank you!“

The voice then responds, “So what are you up to?“

Jed is even more embarrassed, but once again he responds politely, “Well, just like you, I’m sitting here trying to get a load off my mind.“

He then hears the voice say, “Hey, can I come over?“

Jed is now extremely embarrassed and starting to get slightly irritated too, so he snaps back, “Look, surely you understand I’m a bit busy right now!“

At this point, he hears the voice say, “Jane, listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the next cubicle who keeps responding to all my questions!”

Saily eSIM

6. Two hunters:

Two hunters are out in the woods hunting bears when one of them suddenly collapses.

The other guy checks him over and realises that he’s not breathing and his eyes are a bit glazed. So he grabs his cell phone and immediately calls 911.

“I think my friend’s dead!” he yells down the phone with panic in his voice. “What should I do?”

“Sir, if you can just calm down, I’ll help you,” says the operator calmly. “Let’s just make sure he’s dead first.”

There’s then a moment of silence, followed by what is clearly a g*nshot.

Back on the phone, the guy then says to the operator, “Right, now what?”

7. Cosmetic surgery:

Jill, a middle-aged woman, is having surgery in the hospital following a severe heart attack when she has a vision of God by her bedside.

“Will I die, God?” she asks.

To which God responds, “No, my dear, you still have 30 more years to live yet.”

Well, if she’s got 30 more years to look forward to and since she’s in hospital anyway, Jill decides she might as well make the most of her operation.

So she gets br**st implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, a hair transplant, and collagen injections in her lips. When it’s all finished and the bruises have healed, she looks absolutely stunning and 10 years younger.

The day she’s discharged from the hospital, she leaves the hospital with a real spring in her step. Feeling very good about her makeover, Jill steps into the street and is immediately knocked down by an ambulance and killed.

As she steps through the Pearly Gates, Jill sees God and decides to complain. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she says to God.

“Well, that’s true,” says God.

“So what happened?” Jill asks.

To which God shrugs and says, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t recognize you.”

8. Kids are smarter than you think:

A young boy walks into a barber’s shop, and the barber whispers to the customer to whom he’s currently attending, “This kid has got to be the dumbest kid in the world. Watch and I’ll prove it to you.”

The barber then puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then he says to the boy, “Hey kid, which do you want, the dollar bill or the quarters?”

The boy decides to take the quarters, and then he leaves the shop.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That dumb kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer is leaving the barber’s shop, he sees the same kid coming out of the ice cream store.

“Hey, kid! May I ask you a question?” asks the customer. “Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?“

The boy licks his ice cream for a moment before saying, “Because the day I take the dollar bill, the game is over!”

9. Classmates:

While waiting for her first appointment with her new dentist, Jane notices his degree certificate on the wall, which includes his full name.

Suddenly, Jane remembers a tall, handsome boy from her high school class some 45 years ago who had the same name. Naturally, she wonders whether this can be the same guy.

However, upon seeing him, she quickly dismisses any such thought. Surely this ageing, balding, grey-haired old man with a deeply lined face could not possibly be one of her old high school classmates?

After he had finished examining her teeth, Jane decided to ask him whether he attended the local high school.

“Yes,” he replied.

“That’s amazing. What year did you graduate then?” Jane asks.

“In 1973,” he responds.

“Amazing, you were in my class!” Jane exclaims.

He looks at her closely and then asks, “What subject did you teach?“

10. The Monastery:

Every ten years in the monastery, the monks were allowed to break their vow of silence to speak just two words.

With ten years gone by, Brother Michael gets his first chance to speak.

He thinks for a second and then says, “Food bad.”

Another ten years go by, and again Brother Michael has an opportunity to speak briefly and on this occasion, he says, “Bed hard.”

A further decade later, it’s the big day once more. However, this time Brother Michael gives the head monk a long stare before saying, “I quit.”

To which the head monk responds, “I’m not surprised. You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”

Please share this post:

So did these hilarious jokes make you laugh out loud? Were they all you hoped they’d be, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Saily eSIM

Articles you might also enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support cost of maintaining this website. Thank you for your support.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »