Looking for some more short story jokes, dear reader? Well, I’ve got 15 funny ones here for you today. I guarantee they’ll make you laugh.

So, grab a cup of coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

More Short Story Jokes (1-5):

1. The Brown Bear:

Two friends, Bill and George were out hiking in the Katmai National Park in Alaska when suddenly they saw a brown bear ambling along in their direction.

Bill immediately takes out a pair of running shoes from his backpack and then sits down to replace his heavy hiking books with his Nikes.

George is puzzled by Bill’s actions, so naturally, he asks, “Bill why are you putting on your running shoes right now?”

“George, you don’t seriously think I’m going to hang around until we’re spotted by that bear, do you?” Bill responds.

“Bill, don’t be ridiculous,” said George, “you’ll never outrun a brown bear.”

“I don’t have to outrun the bear,” Bill responded “I only have to outrun you!”

With that Bill disappeared into the distance shouting back as he went, “Good luck with that bear George.”

Moral of the Story: When it’s you or the other guy, make sure it’s not you.

2. The Efficiency Expert:

I took my wife to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan called The Lemon Tree.

As the waiter was taking our order I noticed he had a spoon in his shirt pocket. This seemed a little strange but initially, I ignored it.

However, when the busboy brought our water and utensils, I couldn’t help noticing that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

And then as I gazed around the restaurant I could see that all the staff had spoons in their shirt pockets.

So when the waiter came back to serve the soup naturally I enquired, “Why is every member of staff here carrying a spoon?”

“Well,” said the waiter, “the restaurant’s owner hired consultants from McKinsey to improve our processes. After several weeks of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. They calculated that there was a drop frequency of approximately three spoons per table per hour.”

“Are you serious?” I felt compelled to ask.

“Yes sir!” said the waiter. “They concluded that if our people are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it at this point I managed to drop my spoon and he replaced it with the spare from his pocket immediately.

He then explained, “I’ll simply get another spoon when I next go to the kitchen, rather than making a special trip there right now.”

Such efficiency was impressive.

I then noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.

Looking around, I could see that all of the other waiters had the same string hanging from their flies too.

Puzzled by this I asked the waiter, “Why do you all have a string hanging from the fly in your trousers?”

“Oh!” he said, lowering his voice, “The McKinsey consultants concluded that this will help us save time when we have to visit the restroom during a shift.”

“How so?” I inquired.

“Well,” he said, “by tying this string to the tip of our ‘you-know-what’, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands. This shortens the time spent in the restroom by 39% they think.”

“Wow!” I said. “But how do you put it back in your trousers once you’ve finished?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

3. Goodtime Girl:

I met a girl in a bar who said she worked in a fairground.

She asked me if I would like to go to her place and have a good time.

She wasn’t kidding. I went on the Dodgems, the Big Dipper, the Waltzer and the Ghost Train, all for free. I even came home with a goldfish and some Cotton Candy.

4. Car Park Incident:

I left my car in a multi-storey car park the other day, and when I returned, the back of the car had a huge dent in it.

I found a note under the windshield wiper, and it said, “Sorry but I accidentally reversed into your car. There were witnesses, so I left this note so they’d think I was leaving my contact details. Well, I’m not. And in case you’re wondering, the CCTV is broken too, so it’s not your lucky day.”

5. Tupperware:

Jock is a former special forces soldier who gets hired by the Sultan of Oman to help train his army.

After six months, Jock submits a leave request so he can visit Scotland for his mother’s birthday.

The Sultan is happy to grant his request, provided Jock promises to bring him back something traditionally Scottish.

Well, Jock goes home to Glasgow and enjoys celebrating his mother’s birthday and having a few drinks with all his old mates.

The day before Jock is due to fly back to Muscat, he realises he’d forgotten about the Sultan’s request.

“Hey, ma,” says Jock, “I was supposed to get something traditionally Scottish for the Sultan and I forgot.”

“Relax, son,” said his mother. “I’ll bake some of my famous shortbread. You can take that back with you.”

With that, she bakes several trays of shortbread and, once it’s all cooled, she puts it all in Tupperware boxes to keep it fresh.

When Jock arrives back in Oman, he presents the Sultan with the traditional Scottish shortbread.

Well, the Sultan is impressed with this traditional Scottish treat and thoroughly enjoys it. To show his appreciation, the Sultan sends Jock’s mum a solid gold vase. A prized item worth a considerable sum.

A few more months pass, and once again, Jock requests some leave so he can visit Scotland.

Once again, it’s not a problem.

“Yes, of course,” says the Sultan, “but please bring me back some of that delicious homemade shortbread.“

So, Jock goes back to Glasgow, and he mentions to his mum that he wants her to make some more shortbread for the Sultan.

“You must be joking, son,” says his mother. “I’m still waiting on my Tupperware dishes back!“

More Short Story Jokes (6-10):

6. A quick one:

Pete finally went to see his physician for a checkup, and the doctor said to him, “Can we talk about your weight?“

“Sure,” said Pete. “It was about 25 minutes, but the chairs were comfortable, and the selection of magazines was impressive.“

7. Farming Logic:

A guy is driving along a country road when he sees a farmer standing in the middle of a large field. The farmer is doing absolutely nothing except standing and gazing into the distance.

The guy stops and asks the farmer if he’s OK.

“Yes,” said the farmer, “I’m fine.”

“That’s good,” says the guy. “I was a little worried, as you’re just standing and staring at nothing in particular.”

“That’s because I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize,” the farmer responds.

“A Nobel Prize?” says the guy, somewhat surprised. “How will you win a Nobel Prize?”

“Well,” says the farmer, “I’m told that to win a Nobel Prize, you just need to be out standing in your field.”

8. The Counterfeiters:

A couple of small-time counterfeiters, Jack and Earl had managed to get hold of a small stock of the actual paper used for printing American currency. This was a genuine stroke of luck and they intended to make the most of it. So they set about printing some twenty-dollar bills.

However, they’d been drinking heavily beforehand and their attention to the job wasn’t all that it should have been. Nevertheless, they printed off their counterfeit currency and then staggered off to bed.

The following morning when they’d sobered up they looked at their previous night’s work and suddenly realized they’d printed $18 dollar bills by mistake.

“Oh, no!” said Jack. “We’ve used all the paper, so we can’t print them off again, can we?”

“No problem,” said Earl. “All we need to do is find some little hick town in the hills somewhere and go into a store and ask some inbred to change them for lower denomination notes.”

“Do you think that will work?” said Jack.

“Sure!” said Earl “And I know just the place.”

So Jack and Earl got in their car with all the counterfeit currency and headed for a little hick town in NowheresVille.

Eventually, they came to a tiny little town deep in the hills with just one store. So they stopped and entered the store.

Jack handed one of the counterfeit $18 bills to the guy behind the counter and politely asked, “Hey buddy, would you mind changing this for some lower denomination notes, please? If you could, that would be appreciated.“

The clerk looked at the $18 bill, smiled and said, “Sure, no problem. What’s your preference, two nines or three sixes?“

9. The Thoughtful Husband:

Sometime after Stephen had died his widow, Alice was finally able to speak about what a wonderful and thoughtful man her late husband had been.

“Stephen thought of everything“, she told her friend Mabel. “You know, just before he died, Stephen called me to his bedside and he handed me three envelopes.“

“Really?” said Mabel. “And what did he say?”

“He said, Alice, I have put my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I’ve instructed. Then I can rest in peace,” Alice responded.

“So, what was in the envelopes?” Mabel enquired.

“In the first envelope, there was $5,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this money to buy a nice casket’. So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such thick padding in the lining that I know Stephen is resting very comfortably.” Alice responded.

“Really?” said Mabel.

“Yes,” said Alice, “And in the second envelope there was $10,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’. I arranged a very dignified funeral for Stephen, attended by all his friends and family.”

“So what was in the third envelope?” asked Mabel.

“The third envelope contained $50,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this to buy a suitable stone so I’m remembered’.” Alice responded.

At this point, she held up her hand to Mabel and pointed to the ten-carat diamond ring on her finger.

“So Mabel,” said Alice, “do you like the stone?“

10. The Hearing Test:

Bill was concerned about his elderly wife’s hearing. So he decided to test it without telling her.

He went to the corner of the room about 15 feet away from her and said, “Honey can you hear me?“

There was no response.

So he went about 5 feet away from his wife and again said, “Honey can you hear me?“

Still, he got no response.

So he leaned over the back of her chair and raised his voice, shouting in her ear, “HONEY CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

His wife put down her newspaper and turned towards him saying, “Bill, I said ‘Yes’ three times already!“

Moral of the Story: Don’t assume someone else is the source of a problem. It could be you who’s the problem.

More Short Story Jokes (11-15):

11. Biblical tale:

Little Maisie is sitting on a jam-packed train.

A man sat next to her, and he noticed she was reading a biblical tale. So, he engages her in conversation.

“What are you reading?” asked the man.

“It’s the story of Jonah and the Whale,” Maisie responds.

The man smiles and says, “You do know that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being because, even though it is a large mammal, it only has a small throat.”

Little Maisie smiles politely and says, “Well, when I get to Heaven, I’ll be sure to ask Jonah what happened.”

The man smiles back and then says, “How can you be sure Jonah went to Heaven? He may have gone to Hell.”

Little Maisie thought about this comment momentarily and then said, “Well, if that’s the case, I guess you’ll have to ask him!“

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with kids, they’re never short of an answer.

12. Chicken crossing the road:

On a dark country road, late at night, Jane is driving when she runs over a chicken crossing the road.

Just as she stops to check what has happened, a farmer runs over to her in hysterics.

“Oh my god!” screamed the farmer. “That was our prized egg-laying hen!  Most of our income came from the eggs it laid. We’re already underwater on the house; how will I feed my family now?“

Jane began to panic. However, thinking fast, she remembered she was carrying $500 in cash. So, she handed over the money to the farmer, saying, “I’m sorry. It was an accident. Take this by way of compensation.”

The farmer calms down and takes the money, and Jane leaves the scene as quickly as she can before there’s any chance of him changing his mind.

As Jane’s car disappears into the distance, the farmer heads back to his chicken coop. As he’s about to retrieve another chicken, his wife appears and asks him what’s going on.

The farmer tells her the story of the run-over chicken and the $500.

The farmer’s wife looked at him suspiciously and asked, “Why was our chicken crossing the road?“

As the farmer lifts another chicken out of the coop, he smiles and says, “Because we have a mortgage, honey!“

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with farmers, they’re never short of a solution to a problem.

13. The knock:

Jim and his wife, Laura, were awakened at 2 am by a loud knock on their front door.

So, Jim got up, went downstairs and opened the door. It was raining heavily, and standing there was a man who appeared to be drunk.

“Excuse me, sir,” said the drunk. “Can you give me a push?”

“You’re joking,” Jim responded. “It’s pouring with rain, it’s 2 am, and I’m tired after a long day at work. You’ll have to find someone else to help you.”

With that, Jim slammed the door and went back to bed.

“Who was it?” asked Laura

“It was just some drunken guy asking for a push,” said Jim.

“Oh, how unfortunate for him,” said Laura. “Did you help him?”

“No, I did not,” said Jim. “It’s late, it’s raining, and I’m tired. He can find someone else to help him.

“Well, you have a short memory,” says Laura. “Have you forgotten last month when our car broke down in the rain and you were glad that a guy stopped to help you. So, go and help him. That would be the decent thing to do.”

Well, Laura’s words made Jim feel guilty, so he got up, got dressed and went out to help the guy.

Naturally, at this time, it’s pitch black and it’s hard to see anything.

So, Jim calls out, “Hello, buddy, are you still there?“

There was a momentary silence before Jim heard a voice. “Yes!” said the voice.

“Do you still need a push?” shouted Jim.

“Yes, please!” The guy shouts back.

“I can’t see you in the dark. Where are you exactly?” asks Jim.

There was another momentary pause before Jim heard the guy shout, “I’m over here on the swing.”

14. Good intentions:

Myrtle is travelling with her dog, Rover, on a flight from New York to Wilmington, North Carolina.

She checks in her luggage and Rover in a crate.

When the flight arrives in Wilmington, the baggage handlers are unloading the luggage compartment, and when they get to the crate, they see that the dog is dead.

Fearing a lawsuit and the possibility of losing their jobs, the baggage handlers drive over to a pet store near the airport to see if there’s any chance they might have a dog for sale that matches Rover in breed and appearance.

Well, it seemed the Lord was smiling on them, because the pet store did indeed have a dog for sale that was a perfect match.

Having purchased the dog, they return to the airport with no more than five minutes to spare before Myrtle arrives to collect her luggage and the dog.

As the baggage handlers brought the crate to her, Myrtle looked in and screamed, “Oh my God!”

“Mam, is there a problem?” asked the chief baggage handler.

“That’s not Rover!” shouted Myrtle.

“How can you tell?” asked the baggage handler.

“Because Rover was dead,” said Myrtle. “I was bringing him home to be buried.”

Moral of the Story: Just because you mean well doesn’t mean it will end well.

15. IRS Audit:

Jake was a young tech entrepreneur who had been less than careful with his bookkeeping. Suddenly, he finds himself being subjected to an IRS audit.

Before he could completely comprehend what was happening, Jake was summoned to a meeting with a tax officer at his local IRS office to explain his financial circumstances.

Being nervous about how to deal with this, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear to the meeting.

Being wary of the IRS, his accountant said, “Listen, buddy, you don’t want to give them the impression that you’re doing well. So, wear the shabbiest clothing you have and let them think you’re a pauper.“

This advice didn’t convince Jake, so he decided to seek a second opinion from his lawyer.

His lawyer had a different view from his accountant.

“You’ve got to look like you mean business. Don’t let them intimidate you,” said the lawyer. “If you do, they’ll think you’ve something to hide. Look your best and wear a suit and tie.”

These opposing views left Jake a little confused.

So, he went to his parish priest and told him about the conflicting advice he’d received from his professional advisors. “Father, what should I do?” asked Jake.

“Let me tell you a story, my son, about a young woman of this parish,” said Father Murphy. “She was about to be married and asked her mother for advice about what to wear on her wedding night. Her mother suggested she wear a flannel night-gown. However, when she asked her friend the same question, she was told to wear a see-through negligee.“

“I’m sorry, Father,” Jake interjected, “but how is this relevant to my predicament?”

Father Murphy smiled at him benevolently and said, “Jake, my son, it’s the IRS. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you’re still going to get screwed.“

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