5 funny stories with a twist that’ll make you laugh

FUNNY STORIES WITH A TWISTIf you’re in need of a laugh, then here are 5 funny stories with a twist, which might just help.

I thought they were all funny and I hope you do too.

Please enjoy them all and then feel free to pass them on.

Funny stories with a twist:

1. The Jigsaw Puzzle:

Joe lives next door to a slightly dotty old lady in her 90s named Mabel.

One day Joe gets a phone call from Mabel and she says to him, “Joe, can you please come over and help me? I’ve got a complicated jigsaw puzzle and I can’t figure out how to get started.

So Joe thinks for a second and then he asks Mabel, “What’s the picture meant to be when it’s finished, Mabel?

The picture on the box is a rooster,” Mabel responds.

Joe’s busy but Mabel’s a dear old lady, so he decides to go over to help her.

Mabel welcomes Joe and escorts him into her dining room where the box and its contents are all over her dining table.

Joe surveys the situation in front of him and then he turns to Mabel and says, “Mabel, I have to tell you, there’s no way we’ll be assembling these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

Why’s that Joe?” Mable asks.

Joe smiles benevolently and then says, “Mabel, why don’t you make me a nice cup of tea.

OK Joe,” says Mabel with a smile.

And then Joe sighs deeply and says, “While you’re making the tea, I’ll put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.

2. Finding Work:

Jim is a young guy living in a small town who fails to graduate from High School.

Having left school his father says to him, “Son, you failed High School but you’re a man now, so you must contribute some money to the household if you want to live here. So, get a job or you’ll have to find somewhere else to live.”

Naturally, Jim’s concerned about finding work without any qualifications. The local economy’s in bad shape and work prospects in the area are slim, at best.

However, there are three factories in town willing to hire the unskilled but they all have bad reputations as employers.

Having little choice, Jim gets a job at the factory widely regarded as the best of the three.

The experience of his first day is truly awful and he hates the place. Everyone is so miserable and people don’t speak with each other. Nevertheless, Jim is determined he’ll stick it out and try to make the best of it.

Two weeks go by and Jim gets his first paycheck.

It isn’t much but he takes it home with pride to show his father.

His father looks at the check and then says, “Son, this isn’t good enough. I’m not happy at all.

Jim panics and says, “Pa, I’ll do better. Don’t kick me out. Just give me a chance.”

He then goes out and gets himself a job at the factory widely regarded as the second-best of the three.

His experience on the first day in his new job is even worse than before. People look downtrodden and broken by their miserable lives. Everyone’s unhappy.

However, Jim’s determined that he won’t let his father down.

Two weeks go by and Jim gets his first paycheck.

Again, it isn’t much but he takes it home with pride to show his father.

His father looks at the check and then says, “Son, what are you thinking? This isn’t good enough either.

Well, Jim feels awful. However, he goes out and gets a job at the factory widely regarded as the worst in town.

The experience of his first day is the saddest you can imagine. Other employees are sobbing and some are even suicidal, seeing the natural release of death as being preferable to their miserable existence.

Every day is a struggle for Jim but he sticks at it and after two weeks he gets his first paycheck.

Fearing his father’s reaction, Jim stumbles on home, broken and assuming his fate would be to be thrown out onto the street.

He gets home and hands his father the check, fearing the worst.

His father looks at the check, then looks Jim in the eye and says, “Son, this is OK now. You’ve done a saddest factory job.

3. The Math Test:

The coach of a college football team walked into the locker room before a game, and said to his star player, “Listen, buddy, I’m not supposed to let you play because you failed your last Math test. However, I really need you out there for this game. So, I’ll ask you a Math question and, if you get it right, you can play.”

OK,” says the player, “go ahead, coach.”

Right, now you’ll need to think hard,” says the coach. “What is five multiplied by five?

The player thought momentarily and then said, “Coach, I’m not sure but I think it’s 25.”

“25!” exclaimed the coach, excited.

Oh, come on, coach,” the other players all immediately shouted in unison. “Give him another chance!

4. Trying Out for the Team:

A freshman built like an M1 Abrams Battle Tank tried out for the college football team.

Can you tackle?” asked the coach.

Sure, coach,” says the guy, “No problem!” With that, he proceeds to charge at a wooden telephone pole, shattering it into splinters.

Impressive,” says the coach. “Can you run?

Yes sir, coach. Watch me!” says the guy. With that he runs 100 metres, finishing in less than 10 seconds.

That’s fantastic,” says the coach, truly impressed. “But the question now is, can you pass the ball?

Well,” says the freshman, choosing his words carefully, “if I can swallow it, then I guess I’ll be able to pass it.

5. Cure for Coughing:

Johnny was a clerk in a drugstore but he really wasn’t very good at his job. However hard he tried, he could never find the item the customer wanted.

His boss, Bert, had really had enough of him and he gave Johnny a warning that unless he started making sales immediately, he’d have to let him go.

As luck would have it, within minutes, a man walks into the drugstore with a cough and he asks Johnny for their best cough syrup.

Though he tried hard, Johnny couldn’t find the cough syrup. However, with Bert’s warning still ringing in his ears, he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax with the recommendation that he consumes the contents all at once.

The customer did as he was told and then walked into the street and promptly leaned up against a lamppost.

Now Bert had been observing Johnny’s performance from afar and he came over and asked him what had transpired.

Well boss, he wanted cough syrup but I couldn’t find it, so I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take them all at once,” said Johnny.

That’s absurd! Ex-Lax won’t cure a cough,” Bert reacted angrily.

Sure it will,” said Johnny. “Look at him now, leaning on that lamppost. He’s too afraid to cough.”

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FUNNY STORIES WITH A TWISTDear reader, did these funny stories with a twist make you smile? I do hope so.

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4 funny long story jokes to raise a smile

FUNNY LONG-STORY JOKESHere are four funny long-story jokes to brighten your day. They all tickled me and I hope they make you smile too.

Enjoy them all and please feel free to pass them on.

Funny long-story jokes:

1. Getting older:

Jean, Ethel and Mildred are three elderly ladies chatting about the challenges of getting older.

I think 60 is the worst age to be,” said 60-year-old, Jean. “You always feel like you need to pee. And most of the time nothing happens.”

Ah, that’s nothing,” said 70-year-old, Ethel. “When you’re 70, you don’t seem to have bowel movements anymore. You take laxatives, you eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and yet nothing ever happens.”

Actually, I can tell you from experience, 80 is the worst age of all,” said 80-year-old, Mildred.

Do you have trouble peeing too, Mildred?” asked Jean.

No,” said Mildred. “I pee every morning at 6 am and I pee like a racehorse. That’s no problem at all.”

Well, how about your bowel movements, Mildred?” Ethel inquired. “Do you have any problems with them?”

No,” Mildred responded. “I have a bowel movement every morning at 6.30 am, as regular as clockwork.”

Jean and Ethel exchanged puzzled glances before Jean said, “Now let me get this straight, Mildred. You pee at 6 am and poop at 6.30 am? So what’s so hard about being 80?

Mildred frowned before she said, “I never wake up before 7 am.”

2. The mechanic’s skills:

Jeff was a mechanic working in his workshop, repairing a Harley Davidson motorcycle for one of his regular clients, who was a heart surgeon.

Jeff was just replacing the cylinder head on the bike when Dr Corker, his client, arrived to check up on progress.

Hey doc,” said Jeff. “The bike’s almost ready for you but can I ask you a question first?

Yeah, sure Jeff,” said the heart surgeon. “How can I help you?

Doc, take a look at this motorcycle engine,” said Jeff. “I can open its heart. I can take the valves out. And I can fix those valves and put them back in again. And when I’ve finished, this engine works like it’s brand new.

So, what’s your question, Jeff?” Dr Corker responded.

Well doc,” said Jeff, “my question is, how come I earn a small salary and yet you earn a very large one? Essentially, don’t we just do the same work? How come we don’t earn the same?

Dr Corker thought about the question momentarily, then smiled at Jeff and said, “Try doing it with the engine running.

3. On safari:

Jim and Irene were on holiday in Africa, and they’d taken Irene’s mother with them.

Now Jim’s mother-in-law could be a bit of a battle-axe, to say the least, but she’d recently lost her husband, so Jim accepted that this was the decent thing to do.

Anyway, they’d been on safari for a few days, when one morning Irene woke up to find her mother missing.

In a state of panic, she woke Jim and they both went out to look for her!

Suddenly they come to a clearing, where they found Jim’s mother-in-law, facing down a ferocious lion, eye-to-eye.

Quick darling, do something!” screamed Irene.

You’ve got to be joking!” said Jim. “The lion got himself into this mess, he can deal with it himself.”

4. Taking Sunday off:

It was a beautiful Sunday morning and absolutely perfect weather for a game of golf.

Being a golf fanatic, Father O’Driscoll couldn’t resist the lure of links and he decided he’d skip mass and head out to his favourite country club.

Naturally, Father O’Driscoll spoke with his curate, excused himself by saying he was unwell and explained that wouldn’t be able to take mass today.

He then got in his car and drove out to the country club, which was in a neighbouring town.

When Father O’Driscoll teed off on the first hole, a huge gust of wind caught his ball, carrying it another hundred yards and dropping it right into the hole.

Father O’Driscoll was absolutely ecstatic. After all, it was a 450-yard hole-in-one. Amazing! The first time he’d ever achieved that Holy Grail for golfers.

Now God and Saint Peter were watching Father O’Driscoll from above.

Saint Peter gave God a puzzled look and then asked, “Why have you rewarded his behaviour with a hole-in-one?

Is it a reward or a punishment?” God asked. “After all, who’s he going to tell?

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So dear reader, did you enjoy these funny long-story jokes? Was this post worth a little piece of your time? I do hope so.

If you did enjoy this post then please share it with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now and you’ll be making an old blogger very happy.

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