15 Quotes by Muhammad Ali to reflect on

Today, I am exploring quotes by Muhammad Ali, the late but legendary world champion boxer.

Now, many people imagine they’re famous, but few experience genuine fame and the universal recognition that it brings.

One such person is the three-time world heavyweight boxing champion, Muhammad Ali.

Born Cassius Clay, he rose above his humble beginnings to become one of the most recognizable and respected faces on the planet. He was also an inspiration to us all.

As well as being a respected sportsman, he was also a respected thinker.

Consequently, the many memorable and thought-provoking quotes he left us continue to offer an insight into the personal philosophy that drove Muhammad Ali to become such a great champion.

I believe the 15 quotes by Muhammad Ali included here today prove my point. He was driven to become a champion, and if his philosophy worked for him, then it can work for you, too.

So here are 15 of the very best quotes by Muhammad Ali.

Quotes by Muhammad Ali
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Quotes by Muhammad Ali:

  1. I am the greatest; I said that even before I knew I was. ~Muhammad Ali
  2. A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. ~Muhammad Ali
  3. He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. ~Muhammad Ali
  4. Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing. ~Muhammad Ali
  5. Hating people because of their colour is wrong. And it doesn’t matter which colour does the hating. It’s just plain wrong. ~Muhammad Ali
  6. Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even. ~Muhammad Ali
  7. It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe. ~Muhammad Ali
  8. I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion. ~Muhammad Ali
  9. At home, I am a nice guy, but I don’t want the world to know. Humble people, I’ve found, don’t get very far. ~Muhammad Ali
  10. Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. ~Muhammad Ali
  11. Don’t count the days; make the days count. ~Muhammad Ali
  12. It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am. ~Muhammad Ali
  13. If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize. ~Muhammad Ali
  14. Braggin’ is when a person says something and can’t do it. I do what I say. ~Muhammad Ali
  15. It’s not bragging if you can back it up. ~Muhammad Ali
Phil Sutton

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17 quotes about death that will make you think

The death of a friend or close relative always makes us think about our own mortality, particularly as we get older. As I’ve recently heard about the death of an old friend, I’m in a philosophical frame of mind, so I’m looking back at some quotes about death.

We’re all going to die; the only questions are when and how. The important thing is to make the most of our lives whilst we can.

And in relation to our loved ones, we must take every opportunity to enjoy their company whilst it’s still possible.

None of us can know what will happen tomorrow. And none of us can know when a loved one will be taken from us, for whatever reason.

We are constantly reminded through news stories about how lives can be cruelly cut short.

So many tragedies involving multiple deaths in the United States, in Europe, and in wars all around the world.

How sad these events can be, particularly for the families and friends of the victims. Lives lost mean lives changed irrevocably.

Life is short and the years go by in the blink of an eye. So we must ensure that we’ve got our priorities right. Remember always; we work to live, not live to work.

Careers are all very well, but they won’t take care of you should you become sick or infirm. Should that happen, you’ll depend on your family and friends.

Here are 17 quotes about death that will help you reflect on its significance and the importance of making the most of your life and the people you love.

Live now and have no regrets.

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Quotes about death (1-10):

  1. I intend to live forever or die trying. ~Groucho Marx
  2. We die only once, and for such a long time. ~Moliere
  3. When you’re dead, you’re dead. That’s it. ~Marlene Dietrich
  4. The idea is to die young as late as possible. ~Ashley Montagu
  5. I don’t fear death. I fear suffering but not death. ~Roy Sutton
  6. Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75. ~Benjamin Franklin
  7. Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them. ~George Eliot
  8. Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’ ~Bill Maher
  9. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. ~Author Unknown
  10. I am not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ~Woody Allen

Quotes about death (11-17):

  1. Someone must die in order that the rest of us should value life more. ~Virginia Woolf
  2. Don’t send me flowers when I’m dead. If you like me, send them while I’m alive. ~Brian Clough
  3. It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. ~Marcus Aurelius
  4. Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once. ~William Shakespeare
  5. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~Mark Twain
  6. I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. ~Winston Churchill
  7. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. ~Steve Jobs
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50 Life Lessons We Learn Too Late

50 LIFE LESSONS WE LEARN TOO LATE

Today, I am exploring life lessons we learn too late.

Most of life’s lessons don’t come with an obvious price tag upfront. They arrive quietly through the mistakes we make ourselves or the poor performance of others, particularly our politicians.

What makes these lessons frustrating, or even painful, is realising that the signs were there all along.

We like to think that wisdom comes with age, but usually it comes from what we’ve done or what we’ve seen. It comes from getting our fingers burned or being far too trusting of others.

Such consequences might have been avoidable had we been willing to learn from others instead of insisting on learning everything the hard way.

My list today does not reflect either regret or blame. It’s about awareness, recognising the patterns that affect our lives, and understanding them before they exact their full price from us all.

Whether you’re at the beginning of life’s journey or deep into it, these lessons have a way of meeting you exactly where you are.

Life is hard for everyone. For some, it’s very hard indeed.

We must all tread carefully and protect our own interests, because one thing’s for sure: if we don’t, no one else will.

So, here are the 50 life lessons we learn too late.

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Phil Sutton
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15 Quotes by Gandhi that will inspire you

Today, I offer you 15 quotes by Gandhi, all of which, I am confident, will prompt you to reflect on life and its meaning.

Mahatma Gandhi was an inspiration to millions of people, and he was one of the most important figures of the 20th century. In fact, his philosophy continues to resonate with us even today.

Gandhi led a life consistent with his philosophy, and that is why he inspired so many generations, and it’s why he continues to do that now.

He was a role model in his day, and he remains a role model to us all now. Few people truly make their mark in life, but certainly Gandhi did.

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Quotes by Gandhi:

  1. The future depends on what you do today. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  2. We will become who we are meant to become. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  3. Whatever you believe about yourself on the inside is what you will manifest on the outside. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  4. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  5. It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  6. It is my conviction that nothing enduring can be built on violence. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  7. I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  8. You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  9. The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  10. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  11. Any eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  12. It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  13. An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  14. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  15. You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind. ~Mahatma Gandhi
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Phil Sutton

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20 classic Elaine Benes quotes that’ll make you smile

Another offering in my series with the theme of memorable sitcom characters, today, I thought it would be entertaining to take a look back at some classic Elaine Benes quotes.

Who can forget this brilliant character from the American sitcom Seinfeld, played by the hugely talented Julia Louis-Dreyfus?

Elaine was a woman holding her own in a man’s world. She was smart and funny, and she brought a sparkle to the show. However, like all memorable sitcom characters, she was essentially a little flawed too, as you’ll appreciate from the quotes today.

If you love Seinfeld, I’m sure you will be a fan of Elaine Benes.

However, if you’re not old enough to remember Seinfeld and Elaine Benes, in particular, then you’ll find plenty of amusing clips from this sitcom, and featuring the character Elaine Benes, on YouTube.

They’re all brilliant and definitely well worth a little piece of your time.

So check them out, but not before you’ve enjoyed these 20 classic Elaine Benes quotes, which I’m confident will raise a smile or two and will probably resonate with many female readers, too, I’m sure.

Elaine Benes Quotes
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Elaine Benes Quotes:

  1. I’m dead now. Gotta go! ~ Elaine Benes
  2. I’m not a lesbian! I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian. ~ Elaine Benes
  3. Some people should just give up. I have. ~ Elaine Benes
  4. I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie. ~ Elaine Benes
  5. We just tease someone ’til they develop an eating disorder. ~ Elaine Benes
  6. I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people. ~ Elaine Benes
  7. He’s a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts. ~ Elaine Benes
  8. Well, that’s the positive thing about getting sick, you get to lose weight. ~ Elaine Benes
  9. I think this is the same one I gave him. He recycled this gift. He’s a re-gifter! ~ Elaine Benes
  10. You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn’t necessarily make you a homos*xual. ~ Elaine Benes
  11. I can’t do this anymore, it’s too long! Just tell your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! Die! ~ Elaine Benes
  12. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t break up nicely. I mean, to me, that’s one of the most important parts of a relationship. ~ Elaine Benes
  13. You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off. ~ Elaine Benes
  14. Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to Hell. ~ Elaine Benes
  15. I mean the problem is that the good ones know they’re good. And they know they’re in such demand they’re just not interested in confining themselves to one person. ~ Elaine Benes
  16. That’s the bra I gave her, she’s wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She’s a menace to society. ~ Elaine Benes
  17. Kramer, you don’t understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand. ~ Elaine Benes
  18. You know, your whole life, you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple, and then BOOM, suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it. ~ Elaine Benes
  19. Yeah, since she met him, she’s been vomited on, her family cabin’s been burned down, she learned her father’s a homos*xual, and she got fired from a high-paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going. ~ Elaine Benes
  20. This whole s*x thing is totally overrated. Now, here’s the one thing you’ve gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it’s over. I mean, something happens to their personality; it’s really quite astounding. It’s like they committed a crime, and they want to flee the scene before the police get there. ~ Elaine Benes
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You did? I hope so anyway.

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Phil Sutton
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30 brilliant one-liner quotes that’ll make you smile

I shared some brilliant one-liner quotes recently, and the feedback from readers was very positive.

In fact, the feedback was so positive that I thought I’d share some more with you.

So here’s another batch from the collection in my journal.

I’m confident that this batch of brilliant one-liner quotes will have you smiling. So please take a few minutes to enjoy them all. And of course, have a great day.

And don’t forget to pass them on.

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brilliant one-liner quotes
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Brilliant one-liner quotes (1-10):

  1. 668 – The neighbour of the beast.
  2. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  3. The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
  4. Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes.
  5. Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
  6. 50% of all doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class.
  7. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
  8. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
  9. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
  10. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which we’ll die.

Brilliant one-liner quotes (11-20):

  1. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  2. Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
  3. Her silence doesn’t mean your sexual performance left her speechless.
  4. Money’s not important but it’s up there with oxygen for sustaining life.
  5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
  6. It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.
  7. Sometimes the best helping hand you can give someone is a good, firm push.
  8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  9. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  10. Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.

Brilliant one-liner quotes (21-30):

  1. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
  2. To err is human; to blame it on somebody else shows you have a talent for politics.
  3. Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
  4. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.
  5. Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are even stupider than that.
  6. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
  7. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  8. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  9. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
  10. The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
Phil Sutton
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How to develop effective time management skills

Time Management Skills:

Developing effective time management skills is an essential ingredient for success, and I’m sure you’ll agree. You can’t add real value without making the best use of your time.

However, making the best use of it is not always easy in practice, is it?

So, how good are you, dear reader, at managing your time?

Do you have a reputation for being ruthlessly efficient and productive, or are you someone who’s always struggling to keep up?

When someone asks you to do something in the office, do you accept their request without question and simply add the task to your ‘To Do’ list? If you do, you’re not alone. Many people will do that, in my experience.

Alternatively, perhaps you’re the type who thinks carefully relative to your priorities before you accept such a request. Now be honest. We’d all like to think we’re the latter, when in fact far too many people are the former I think.

Time Management Skills
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Productivity is what matters:

In the world of work, it’s easy to confuse being busy with being productive, but these two concepts are not the same thing at all, are they?

For instance, you can be busy doing things that don’t need doing at all. Whereas being genuinely productive means delivering real results from high-value tasks, which can only be done by someone with your skills.

And let’s face it, reputations are built by being productive, not merely by being busy. It’s the results you deliver, not the energy you expend, that matter most.

Time is your most precious resource:

How often do you hear someone say, “Oh, I would love to do that, if only I had the time.

And yet we all have the same amount of time, i.e. 168 hours per week.

Time is simply a resource like money, although it’s more important than money. I say that because you can get more money, but you can’t get more time. None of us can do that, can we?

So you must learn to use your time wisely. Time is your most precious resource, so you must develop effective time management skills.

High-value tasks must take precedence:

Modern pressures mean it’s easy for us to try to do too many things. We can all be a bit like that, including me, dear reader.

Our lives are cluttered with too many activities, too many objectives, too many distractions, and far too many demands on our time.

The result is that we tend to lose focus on what matters most and in the end we don’t do anything as well as we should have done.

In my experience, in most jobs, you’ll find that 90% of productivity is down to completing the top three or four major activities within that job. What I call high-value tasks.

If you take the top three major activities – the high-value tasks – associated with your job and focus on those to the exclusion of just about everything else you’ll almost certainly maximise your productivity and efficiency.

Most common time management mistake:

The problem is, when we’re working, we seem to find it easier to focus on minor tasks and random actions requested by other people.

We feel obliged to accept requests from others. It’s a common mistake of which we can all be guilty.

Now, while tidying up all those minor tasks might make us feel like we’re achieving some quick wins, we’re usually fooling ourselves.

By the end of the day, we’re usually left with a sense that we haven’t done all we should have done, and that leaves us feeling stressed.

And that’s when we start to think about how we might improve our time management.

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We can’t do everything, nor should we try:

We must recognise that we can’t do everything, but we can be selective about what we choose to do.

And if we’re going to get those major tasks of higher value completed, then they must take precedence over those low-value, minor tasks, which can always wait if necessary.

High-value tasks should always take precedence over low-value tasks.

Work smarter:

People often think of time management as a skill that would allow them to work faster. Well, let me tell you this: that’s not the idea at all.

Effective time management skills allow us to work smarter rather than harder.

Instead of getting lost in the minutiae of everyday life, with effective time management skills, we focus on and prioritise those things that will add the most value to our productivity. In other words, we focus on high-value activity.

The law of three:

So. if time management is an issue for you, dear reader, start by taking a good, hard look at your list of daily activities and asking yourself these three questions:

  1. What single task can only I do and, when completed by me, will add the most value to the business?
  2. What’s the second task on my list that only I can do, and when I’ve completed it, will allow me to add the most value to the business?
  3. What is the third task on my list that only I can do and that, when completed by me, will add the most value to the business?

Once you’ve identified your list of three major, high-value tasks, that’s where your focus should be each day before you touch any other minor tasks or accept random requests from other people.

Phil Sutton

Most powerful time management tool:

The point of work is to deliver results. You’ll deliver the best results if you concentrate on your top three major tasks first.

And never forget that you’ll be judged by the results you deliver. No one cares what you have to do for someone else, they only care about the results they expect from you.

Your time is your time, and you must decide how it is to be used most effectively.

Just because someone asks for a piece of your time doesn’t mean you’re obliged to give it to them at the expense of your productivity. Never be afraid to deploy the most effective time management tool of them all.

And what is the most effective time-management tool? It’s the word NO.

Think of the word NO as a baseball bat.

Whenever someone requests that you do something, NO is how you can whack that request right out of the ballpark.

Be in control of your time, at all times:

You’re not obliged to agree to a request even if someone asks nicely. It’s reasonable to be working to your priorities.

All too often we feel obliged to do things for other people when we should have just said politely, “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that right now for you because I have to deliver this by 5 pm and it’s a priority.”

If our productivity matters to us, and it should, then our focus should always be on our major, high-value deliverables.

Unfortunately, we allow ourselves to be driven by the agendas of other people.

However that’s not good for our productivity, nor is it good for our well-being or stress levels.

People will take everything you’re prepared to give:

I can tell you from experience that other people will take everything you’re prepared to give and a bit more besides. That’s the nature of people.

However, if you fail to deliver what you’re being paid to deliver, then no list of incidental work completed for other people will be accepted as an adequate plea in your defence when your boss wants to know why you’ve failed to deliver your high-value results.

If you’re painting my house, I’ll measure you on the quality and timeliness of your work, not the amount of help you gave to my neighbour by, say, looking after her dog.

What you do for other people is irrelevant to me, should you fail to deliver what I’m paying you to deliver.

Focus on your priorities:

In reality, if your colleagues can’t get something done by you, they’ll simply ask someone else. So let them.

Why worry? Just be very polite when faced with a random request, but say NO firmly. I can tell you this: you’ll have to be disciplined, but it’s a habit worth developing.

We can all be guilty of expending far too much of our energy helping other people achieve their aims, to the detriment of our interests and our ability to deliver high-value results.

To achieve anything of significance in life, we must be focused on our major activities.

We must concentrate on completing our big three major high-value deliverables daily and focus relentlessly on working towards achieving our own goals generally.

The need for balance:

If you’re asked to do something, then it’s perfectly reasonable to say NO, if doing otherwise would prevent you from delivering the results you’re being paid to deliver on time.

Yes, of course, occasionally there will be tasks you’re obliged to accept for whatever reason.

However, mostly being firm in declining such a request is a sign that you’re assertive and in control of delivering as much value as possible.

Another polite but firm response to a request might be something like, “Sorry, I would love to help you with that, but I cannot right now because I have my hands full with the deadline for this project.

As with everything, there is a balance to be struck, of course.

Sometimes it’s in your interest to do someone a favour because one day you might need them to return that favour. That’s reasonable, provided you always retain a primary focus on keeping your main things the main things.

Conclusion:

You should always ensure that you’re making progress towards achieving your big three deliverables and your own goals generally.

It’s perfectly reasonable to have your agenda and a desire to achieve your own goals and add the greatest value only you can add.

If you want to make a difference, focus on your three major activities.

Those activities that only you can do.

And to ensure that you’re doing that, don’t be afraid to use the most effective time management tool of them all whenever necessary. Use the word NO politely but firmly.

Always keep the main things the main things.

Phil Sutton

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21 Interesting quotes by John Cleese to inspire you

As he is one of the greatest talents in British comedy, I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the many quotes by John Cleese.

John Marwood Cleese is an English actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer.

Educated at the University of Cambridge, he emerged from the Cambridge Footlights in the 1960s, and he first achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

He also collaborated with David Frost and was a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report.

However, he is probably best known for his association with two classics of British comedy, namely Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, for both of which he was both a writer and performer.

He was also a co-founder of the production company Video Arts, famous for making entertaining and memorable training films. Many readers will have seen these training films over the years, I’m sure.

By any measure, John Cleese is a successful man, and, as I always say, it’s always worth listening to successful people.

So, here are 21 quotes by John Cleese that I hope you’ll find interesting. Certainly, I did.

Phil Sutton

Quotes by John Cleese (1-10):

  1. He who laughs most learns best.
  2. Don’t let anyone tell you what you ought to like.
  3. Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
  4. A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.
  5. The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
  6. Who’s ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!
  7. I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
  8. The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not-very-good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
  9. Now, most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That’s not enough anymore, and I think that is absolutely tragic, and I’m not exaggerating, that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
  10. I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you’d never get on your own. It’s like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn’t have children without a partner; it was a way of mixing up the genes so you’d get a more interesting product.
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Quotes by John Cleese (11-21):

  1. If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
  2. Well, the only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it.
  3. You don’t have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life is about change.
  4. I think that money spoils most things once it becomes the primary motivating force.
  5. A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.
  6. I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that’s to get rid of all my other desires.
  7. Most of the bad taste I’ve been accused of has been generic bad taste; it’s been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
  8. I love having different cultures around, but when the parent culture kind of dissipates, you’re left thinking, ‘Well, what’s going on?’
  9. When you’ve been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don’t know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it’s going to be.
  10. If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
  11. I think it’s because in America you always get the sense that if you fail, you can just pack up your things and go somewhere else and try again. But in England, it’s so geographically small that if somebody succeeds here, it reduces your chances of succeeding.
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25 funny quotes about marriage to make you smile

Today, I am exploring funny quotes about marriage, and I hope they’ll make you smile.

A successful marriage can be your greatest investment. It can also become your biggest nightmare if you’re not careful in your choice of partner.

Choose your partner wisely, and a successful relationship can be yours; failing to choose carefully could prove painful for all concerned.

Sharing your life with someone else can be a challenge because, as human beings, we’re complex creatures with an ego and a desire to have our own way.

Once married, we often try to continue to live our lives as if we were individuals, and we forget that there is at least one other person we must consider, and more if there are children involved.

However, recognizing a need to compromise and being willing to compromise are not quite the same thing. It takes constant effort, but sadly, it’s an effort that not everyone is willing to expend.

And so there has been much said in jest about marriage, and such comments often underpin a lot of great humour.

Today I offer you 25 very funny quotes about marriage that are guaranteed to raise a smile.

If you’re married, or if you’ve been married, then you’ll be able to relate to many of these quotes, I’m sure. So enjoy them all.

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Funny quotes about marriage (1-13):

  1. Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep. ~Unknown   
  2. When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ~Prince Philip
  3. Never laugh at your wife’s choices. After all, you’re one of them. ~Author Unknown
  4. Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one. ~Mae West
  5. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ~Groucho Marx
  6. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll be a philosopher. ~Socrates
  7. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner
  8. You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband! ~Bill Maher
  9. Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you. ~Megan Mullally
  10. Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day. ~Mickey Rooney
  11. My wife and I have been married for 21 years, and without a doubt, the hardest times we’ve faced were those times when we hated each other. ~Andy Richter
  12. My wife and I have been married for 47 years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never. ~Jack Benny
  13. If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married. ~Author Unknown

Funny quotes about marriage (14-25):

  1. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So, each is inevitably disappointed. ~Albert Einstein
  2. Listening to your wife is like reading the Terms & Conditions on a website. You understand nothing but you still say, “I agree!” ~Author Unknown
  3. Before marrying someone, you should first make them use a computer with a very slow Internet connection. That way you’ll know who they really are. ~Author Unknown
  4. Marriage Tip #46: Your wife won’t start an argument with you if you’re busy cleaning. ~Author Unknown
  5. I’ve been married for 20 years but I still carry my husband’s photo in my purse. That way, whenever I face great difficulty, I can look at the photo and remind myself that if I’ve coped with being married to this idiot for so long, I can survive anything. ~Author Unknown
  6. A husband is someone who, having merely taken out the trash, gives the impression that he’s just cleaned the whole house. ~Author Unknown
  7. The five words needed for a successful marriage, “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.” ~Author Unknown
  8. When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. ~Helen Rowland
  9. Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake. ~Elbert Hubbard
  10. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie
  11. Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then. ~Katherine Hepburn
  12. Happy wife; happy life. ~Author Unknown
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If you enjoyed these quotes about marriage, you might also appreciate the original poem I wrote on the subject. As someone who is married, I’ve been lucky in my choice of partner. I hope you are, too, dear reader.

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How to get along with people and make the world better

How to get along with people? It’s a classic problem. We don’t have to like people, but life’s better if we can get along with them. But how?

How to get along with people
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Life’s great challenge:

Dear reader, do you have problems getting along with other people?

Do you find it difficult to deal with some people as you go about your daily routine?

Well, it’s true; some people can be challenging and quite difficult at times. I’m sure most readers will have had that experience occasionally.

However, in my experience, most people just want you to be nice to them. They want to be respected for who they are and treated with courtesy.

I’ve learned over the years that if you respect people and take a genuine interest in their lives, then generally they’ll respond warmly to you. Not all, perhaps, but certainly most people.

How to get along with people:

Think about it.

We all just want to be treated with courtesy and respect and appreciated for who we are and what we do, don’t we? Certainly, I do. Don’t you, dear reader?

If we accept that as true, then the way to get along with other people is not difficult, surely?

The trick is to treat people with courtesy and respect, regardless of who they are or what they do. Treat them as you would prefer to be treated.

Be kind and considerate to them as individuals, and there’s a good chance that they’ll treat you well too.

You don’t have to like people, but life’s better if you can get along with them. And if you can get along with them and get to know them, then you might just get to like them in time as well.

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The world can be a better place:

If we can all get along, then it will make the world a better place.

If we can all be kind and considerate to our fellow human beings, then we could have a world free from strife and tension.

So go on, show people some respect, show them a little appreciation, take an interest in them for who they are and what they do, and above all, never underestimate the power of a thank you.

I always feel better if I think I’m appreciated, and I’m sure you do too. We all do.

So the trick to getting along with people is simply to treat them as you would prefer them to treat you. It works every time for me.

And I’m confident that it will work well for you too, dear reader.

So go on, make every effort to get along with people, and make the world a better place.

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