11 funny quotes about marriage guaranteed to make you smile

A successful marriage can be your greatest investment. It can almost become your biggest nightmare.

Choose your partner wisely and a successful relationship can be yours; fail to choose carefully and it could prove to be painful for all concerned.

Sharing your life with someone else can be a challenge because, as human beings, we’re complex creatures with an ego and a desire to have our own way.

Once married, we often try to continue to live our lives as if we were individuals and we forget that there is at least one other person we must consider, and more if there are children involved.

However recognising a need to compromise and being willing to compromise is not quite the same thing. It takes constant effort but sadly it’s effort that not everyone is willing to expend.

And so there has been much been said in jest about marriage and such comments often underpin a lot of great humour.

Here are eleven very funny quotes about marriage which are guaranteed to raise a smile. If you’re married, or if you’ve been married then you’ll be able to relate to many of these quotes; so enjoy them all.

Funny quotes about marriage:

My wife and I have been married for 47 years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never. ~Jack Benny
If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married. ~Author Unknown
Listening to your wife is like reading the Terms & Conditions on a website. You understand nothing but you still say, “I agree!” ~Author Unknown
Before marrying someone, you should first make them use a computer with a very slow Internet connection. That way you’ll know who they really are. ~Author Unknown
Marriage Tip #46: Your wife won’t start an argument with you if you’re cleaning. ~Author Unknown
I’ve been married for 20 years but I still carry my husband’s photo in my purse. That way, whenever I face great difficulty, I can look at the photo and remind myself that if I’ve coped with being married to this idiot for so long, I can survive anything. ~Author Unknown
Never laugh at your wife’s choices. After all, you’re one of them. ~Author Unknown
A husband is someone who, having merely taken out the trash, gives the impression that he’s just cleaned the whole house. ~Author Unknown
The five words needed for a successful marriage, “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.” ~Author Unknown
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. ~Helen Rowland
Happy wife; happy life. ~Author Unknown