15 more short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

07/22/2025 by

Looking for some more short story jokes, dear reader? Well, I’ve got 15 funny ones here for you today. I guarantee they’ll make you laugh.

So, grab a cup of coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

more short story jokes
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More Short Story Jokes (1-5):

1. The Brown Bear:

Two friends, Bill and George were out hiking in the Katmai National Park in Alaska when suddenly they saw a brown bear ambling along in their direction.

Bill immediately takes out a pair of running shoes from his backpack and then sits down to replace his heavy hiking books with his Nikes.

George is puzzled by Bill’s actions, so naturally, he asks, “Bill why are you putting on your running shoes right now?”

“George, you don’t seriously think I’m going to hang around until we’re spotted by that bear, do you?” Bill responds.

“Bill, don’t be ridiculous,” said George, “you’ll never outrun a brown bear.”

“I don’t have to outrun the bear,” Bill responded “I only have to outrun you!”

With that Bill disappeared into the distance shouting back as he went, “Good luck with that bear George.”

Moral of the Story: When it’s you or the other guy, make sure it’s not you.

2. The Efficiency Expert:

I took my wife to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan called The Lemon Tree.

As the waiter was taking our order I noticed he had a spoon in his shirt pocket. This seemed a little strange but initially, I ignored it.

However, when the busboy brought our water and utensils, I couldn’t help noticing that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

And then as I gazed around the restaurant I could see that all the staff had spoons in their shirt pockets.

So when the waiter came back to serve the soup naturally I enquired, “Why is every member of staff here carrying a spoon?”

“Well,” said the waiter, “the restaurant’s owner hired consultants from McKinsey to improve our processes. After several weeks of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. They calculated that there was a drop frequency of approximately three spoons per table per hour.”

“Are you serious?” I felt compelled to ask.

“Yes sir!” said the waiter. “They concluded that if our people are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it at this point I managed to drop my spoon and he replaced it with the spare from his pocket immediately.

He then explained, “I’ll simply get another spoon when I next go to the kitchen, rather than making a special trip there right now.”

Such efficiency was impressive.

I then noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.

Looking around, I could see that all of the other waiters had the same string hanging from their flies too.

Puzzled by this I asked the waiter, “Why do you all have a string hanging from the fly in your trousers?”

“Oh!” he said, lowering his voice, “The McKinsey consultants concluded that this will help us save time when we have to visit the restroom during a shift.”

“How so?” I inquired.

“Well,” he said, “by tying this string to the tip of our ‘you-know-what’, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands. This shortens the time spent in the restroom by 39% they think.”

“Wow!” I said. “But how do you put it back in your trousers once you’ve finished?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

3. Goodtime Girl:

I met a girl in a bar who said she worked in a fairground.

She asked me if I would like to go to her place and have a good time.

She wasn’t kidding. I went on the Dodgems, the Big Dipper, the Waltzer and the Ghost Train, all for free. I even came home with a goldfish and some Cotton Candy.

4. Car Park Incident:

I left my car in a multi-storey car park the other day, and when I returned, the back of the car had a huge dent in it.

I found a note under the windshield wiper, and it said, “Sorry but I accidentally reversed into your car. There were witnesses, so I left this note so they’d think I was leaving my contact details. Well, I’m not. And in case you’re wondering, the CCTV is broken too, so it’s not your lucky day.”

5. Tupperware:

Jock is a former special forces soldier who gets hired by the Sultan of Oman to help train his army.

After six months, Jock submits a leave request so he can visit Scotland for his mother’s birthday.

The Sultan is happy to grant his request, provided Jock promises to bring him back something traditionally Scottish.

Well, Jock goes home to Glasgow and enjoys celebrating his mother’s birthday and having a few drinks with all his old mates.

The day before Jock is due to fly back to Muscat, he realises he’d forgotten about the Sultan’s request.

“Hey, ma,” says Jock, “I was supposed to get something traditionally Scottish for the Sultan and I forgot.”

“Relax, son,” said his mother. “I’ll bake some of my famous shortbread. You can take that back with you.”

With that, she bakes several trays of shortbread and, once it’s all cooled, she puts it all in Tupperware boxes to keep it fresh.

When Jock arrives back in Oman, he presents the Sultan with the traditional Scottish shortbread.

Well, the Sultan is impressed with this traditional Scottish treat and thoroughly enjoys it. To show his appreciation, the Sultan sends Jock’s mum a solid gold vase. A prized item worth a considerable sum.

A few more months pass, and once again, Jock requests some leave so he can visit Scotland.

Once again, it’s not a problem.

“Yes, of course,” says the Sultan, “but please bring me back some of that delicious homemade shortbread.“

So, Jock goes back to Glasgow, and he mentions to his mum that he wants her to make some more shortbread for the Sultan.

“You must be joking, son,” says his mother. “I’m still waiting on my Tupperware dishes back!“

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More Short Story Jokes (6-10):

6. A quick one:

Pete finally went to see his physician for a checkup, and the doctor said to him, “Can we talk about your weight?“

“Sure,” said Pete. “It was about 25 minutes, but the chairs were comfortable, and the selection of magazines was impressive.“

7. Farming Logic:

A guy is driving along a country road when he sees a farmer standing in the middle of a large field. The farmer is doing absolutely nothing except standing and gazing into the distance.

The guy stops and asks the farmer if he’s OK.

“Yes,” said the farmer, “I’m fine.”

“That’s good,” says the guy. “I was a little worried, as you’re just standing and staring at nothing in particular.”

“That’s because I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize,” the farmer responds.

“A Nobel Prize?” says the guy, somewhat surprised. “How will you win a Nobel Prize?”

“Well,” says the farmer, “I’m told that to win a Nobel Prize, you just need to be out standing in your field.”

8. The Counterfeiters:

A couple of small-time counterfeiters, Jack and Earl had managed to get hold of a small stock of the actual paper used for printing American currency. This was a genuine stroke of luck and they intended to make the most of it. So they set about printing some twenty-dollar bills.

However, they’d been drinking heavily beforehand and their attention to the job wasn’t all that it should have been. Nevertheless, they printed off their counterfeit currency and then staggered off to bed.

The following morning when they’d sobered up they looked at their previous night’s work and suddenly realized they’d printed $18 dollar bills by mistake.

“Oh, no!” said Jack. “We’ve used all the paper, so we can’t print them off again, can we?”

“No problem,” said Earl. “All we need to do is find some little hick town in the hills somewhere and go into a store and ask some inbred to change them for lower denomination notes.”

“Do you think that will work?” said Jack.

“Sure!” said Earl “And I know just the place.”

So Jack and Earl got in their car with all the counterfeit currency and headed for a little hick town in NowheresVille.

Eventually, they came to a tiny little town deep in the hills with just one store. So they stopped and entered the store.

Jack handed one of the counterfeit $18 bills to the guy behind the counter and politely asked, “Hey buddy, would you mind changing this for some lower denomination notes, please? If you could, that would be appreciated.“

The clerk looked at the $18 bill, smiled and said, “Sure, no problem. What’s your preference, two nines or three sixes?“

9. The Thoughtful Husband:

Sometime after Stephen had died his widow, Alice was finally able to speak about what a wonderful and thoughtful man her late husband had been.

“Stephen thought of everything“, she told her friend Mabel. “You know, just before he died, Stephen called me to his bedside and he handed me three envelopes.“

“Really?” said Mabel. “And what did he say?”

“He said, Alice, I have put my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I’ve instructed. Then I can rest in peace,” Alice responded.

“So, what was in the envelopes?” Mabel enquired.

“In the first envelope, there was $5,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this money to buy a nice casket’. So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such thick padding in the lining that I know Stephen is resting very comfortably.” Alice responded.

“Really?” said Mabel.

“Yes,” said Alice, “And in the second envelope there was $10,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’. I arranged a very dignified funeral for Stephen, attended by all his friends and family.”

“So what was in the third envelope?” asked Mabel.

“The third envelope contained $50,000 with a note which said, ‘Please use this to buy a suitable stone so I’m remembered’.” Alice responded.

At this point, she held up her hand to Mabel and pointed to the ten-carat diamond ring on her finger.

“So Mabel,” said Alice, “do you like the stone?“

10. The Hearing Test:

Bill was concerned about his elderly wife’s hearing. So he decided to test it without telling her.

He went to the corner of the room about 15 feet away from her and said, “Honey can you hear me?“

There was no response.

So he went about 5 feet away from his wife and again said, “Honey can you hear me?“

Still, he got no response.

So he leaned over the back of her chair and raised his voice, shouting in her ear, “HONEY CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

His wife put down her newspaper and turned towards him saying, “Bill, I said ‘Yes’ three times already!“

Moral of the Story: Don’t assume someone else is the source of a problem. It could be you who’s the problem.

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More Short Story Jokes (11-15):

11. Biblical tale:

Little Maisie is sitting on a jam-packed train.

A man sat next to her, and he noticed she was reading a biblical tale. So, he engages her in conversation.

“What are you reading?” asked the man.

“It’s the story of Jonah and the Whale,” Maisie responds.

The man smiles and says, “You do know that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being because, even though it is a large mammal, it only has a small throat.”

Little Maisie smiles politely and says, “Well, when I get to Heaven, I’ll be sure to ask Jonah what happened.”

The man smiles back and then says, “How can you be sure Jonah went to Heaven? He may have gone to Hell.”

Little Maisie thought about this comment momentarily and then said, “Well, if that’s the case, I guess you’ll have to ask him!“

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with kids, they’re never short of an answer.

12. Chicken crossing the road:

On a dark country road, late at night, Jane is driving when she runs over a chicken crossing the road.

Just as she stops to check what has happened, a farmer runs over to her in hysterics.

“Oh my god!” screamed the farmer. “That was our prized egg-laying hen!  Most of our income came from the eggs it laid. We’re already underwater on the house; how will I feed my family now?“

Jane began to panic. However, thinking fast, she remembered she was carrying $500 in cash. So, she handed over the money to the farmer, saying, “I’m sorry. It was an accident. Take this by way of compensation.”

The farmer calms down and takes the money, and Jane leaves the scene as quickly as she can before there’s any chance of him changing his mind.

As Jane’s car disappears into the distance, the farmer heads back to his chicken coop. As he’s about to retrieve another chicken, his wife appears and asks him what’s going on.

The farmer tells her the story of the run-over chicken and the $500.

The farmer’s wife looked at him suspiciously and asked, “Why was our chicken crossing the road?“

As the farmer lifts another chicken out of the coop, he smiles and says, “Because we have a mortgage, honey!“

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with farmers, they’re never short of a solution to a problem.

13. The knock:

Jim and his wife, Laura, were awakened at 2 am by a loud knock on their front door.

So, Jim got up, went downstairs and opened the door. It was raining heavily, and standing there was a man who appeared to be drunk.

“Excuse me, sir,” said the drunk. “Can you give me a push?”

“You’re joking,” Jim responded. “It’s pouring with rain, it’s 2 am, and I’m tired after a long day at work. You’ll have to find someone else to help you.”

With that, Jim slammed the door and went back to bed.

“Who was it?” asked Laura

“It was just some drunken guy asking for a push,” said Jim.

“Oh, how unfortunate for him,” said Laura. “Did you help him?”

“No, I did not,” said Jim. “It’s late, it’s raining, and I’m tired. He can find someone else to help him.

“Well, you have a short memory,” says Laura. “Have you forgotten last month when our car broke down in the rain and you were glad that a guy stopped to help you. So, go and help him. That would be the decent thing to do.”

Well, Laura’s words made Jim feel guilty, so he got up, got dressed and went out to help the guy.

Naturally, at this time, it’s pitch black and it’s hard to see anything.

So, Jim calls out, “Hello, buddy, are you still there?“

There was a momentary silence before Jim heard a voice. “Yes!” said the voice.

“Do you still need a push?” shouted Jim.

“Yes, please!” The guy shouts back.

“I can’t see you in the dark. Where are you exactly?” asks Jim.

There was another momentary pause before Jim heard the guy shout, “I’m over here on the swing.”

14. Good intentions:

Myrtle is travelling with her dog, Rover, on a flight from New York to Wilmington, North Carolina.

She checks in her luggage and Rover in a crate.

When the flight arrives in Wilmington, the baggage handlers are unloading the luggage compartment, and when they get to the crate, they see that the dog is dead.

Fearing a lawsuit and the possibility of losing their jobs, the baggage handlers drive over to a pet store near the airport to see if there’s any chance they might have a dog for sale that matches Rover in breed and appearance.

Well, it seemed the Lord was smiling on them, because the pet store did indeed have a dog for sale that was a perfect match.

Having purchased the dog, they return to the airport with no more than five minutes to spare before Myrtle arrives to collect her luggage and the dog.

As the baggage handlers brought the crate to her, Myrtle looked in and screamed, “Oh my God!”

“Mam, is there a problem?” asked the chief baggage handler.

“That’s not Rover!” shouted Myrtle.

“How can you tell?” asked the baggage handler.

“Because Rover was dead,” said Myrtle. “I was bringing him home to be buried.”

Moral of the Story: Just because you mean well doesn’t mean it will end well.

15. IRS Audit:

Jake was a young tech entrepreneur who had been less than careful with his bookkeeping. Suddenly, he finds himself being subjected to an IRS audit.

Before he could completely comprehend what was happening, Jake was summoned to a meeting with a tax officer at his local IRS office to explain his financial circumstances.

Being nervous about how to deal with this, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear to the meeting.

Being wary of the IRS, his accountant said, “Listen, buddy, you don’t want to give them the impression that you’re doing well. So, wear the shabbiest clothing you have and let them think you’re a pauper.“

This advice didn’t convince Jake, so he decided to seek a second opinion from his lawyer.

His lawyer had a different view from his accountant.

“You’ve got to look like you mean business. Don’t let them intimidate you,” said the lawyer. “If you do, they’ll think you’ve something to hide. Look your best and wear a suit and tie.”

These opposing views left Jake a little confused.

So, he went to his parish priest and told him about the conflicting advice he’d received from his professional advisors. “Father, what should I do?” asked Jake.

“Let me tell you a story, my son, about a young woman of this parish,” said Father Murphy. “She was about to be married and asked her mother for advice about what to wear on her wedding night. Her mother suggested she wear a flannel night-gown. However, when she asked her friend the same question, she was told to wear a see-through negligee.“

“I’m sorry, Father,” Jake interjected, “but how is this relevant to my predicament?”

Father Murphy smiled at him benevolently and said, “Jake, my son, it’s the IRS. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you’re still going to get screwed.“

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Funny political satire with laughter guaranteed

07/18/2025 by

If you enjoy funny political satire, then you’ll appreciate the video I have for you today.

In the times we now live in, it seems that intelligent political debate is something from a bygone age.

Perhaps it never really existed at all.

However, the politically correct modern media has created a debate so lacking in intelligent and informed analysis that it has become completely pointless, I think.

If you live in the United Kingdom, dear reader, then an excellent example for me is the BBC’s Question Time. It may have a different host now in Fiona Bruce, but it’s still just a lot of hot air, I think.

Essentially, it’s just a carefully selected group of people with rigid views, coupled with an inability to understand why others may think differently. And an unwillingness even to try.

I suppose that’s just the way it is these days.

Nevertheless, it’s not a complete loss to us all, as it does offer fertile ground for comedy and political satire.

So if you think that the BBC’s Question Time has become a mess of evidence-free assertions, class warfare, soundbites, and smugness, then you might enjoy this comedy sketch from Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse.

It’s hilarious, and for me, they have truly nailed the nature of what passes for modern political debate.

It made me laugh, and I hope it makes you smile too.

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Funny political satire:

And here is today’s funny political satire video:

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25 complaints about holidays that’ll make you smile

07/17/2025 by

Today, I am exploring complaints about holidays.

The problem with travel is that it can fail to meet our expectations. So, naturally, travel agents regularly get their fair share of complaints about holidays from their customers.

Here are 25 examples of complaints received by a well-known British travel agent, all of which certainly made me smile.

So, please take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

COMPLAINTS ABOUT HOLIDAYS
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Complaints about holidays (1-10):

  1. No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were scared.
  2. The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.
  3. We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers, as they were all Spaniards.
  4. Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg slicer in the drawers.
  5. On my holiday to India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.
  6. They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband, who just wanted to relax.
  7. We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white, but it was more like pale yellow.
  8. I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper British biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.
  9. It’s lazy for the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during siesta time. This should be banned.
  10. We booked an excursion to a water park, but no one told us we had to bring our swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.

Complaints about holidays (11-20):

  1. A mosquito bit me. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.
  2. We had to line up outside to catch the boat, and there was no air-conditioning.
  3. It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.
  4. On our holiday in Rome, the tourist attractions were all full of tourists, so I couldn’t enjoy them properly.
  5. I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom, and ours was significantly smaller.
  6. It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.
  7. The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers, and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.
  8. When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, and the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.
  9. The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guidebook during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.
  10. My fiancé and I requested twin beds when we booked, but instead, we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.

Complaints about holidays (21-25):

  1. I was disappointed with my holiday in Thailand. It was like taking a vacation in a foreign country.
  2. When we arrived in Beirut, we were told that the local tap water wasn’t safe to drink, so we had to buy bottled water.
  3. The street signs in Tokyo were all in Japanese. As English is the international language, surely, they should all be in English?
  4. The local customs and traditions seemed very strange to us, and that made us feel very uncomfortable. Your brochure didn’t mention that local culture might be different from our own.
  5. I was surprised to find that the local television channels in Latvia didn’t show the latest episodes of Coronation Street and EastEnders. Being away for two weeks means I’ve now missed a big part of the current storylines.
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Did any of them make you smile? If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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4 funny joke stories your friends will love

07/15/2025 by

Do you enjoy funny joke stories, dear reader?

Those little stories you can embellish as you tell them, and they always have a funny punch line.

Well, I love them, and here are four that were new to me and that I thought you might enjoy.

Take a moment to read them all, and feel free to share them with others.

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Funny joke stories:

1. Shock for the preacher’s wife:

Jeff and Emma both had demanding jobs, working on Wall Street, and they’d decided it was time for them to take a break, catch a little sunshine, and relax down in Acapulco for a week.

As luck would have it, on the day they were due to depart, Emma had to deal with an emergency at the investment bank in which she worked.

So, they agreed that Jeff would go as planned, and Emma would take a later flight, meeting him the following day at the hotel.

When Jeff arrived at the hotel, having checked in, he decided that it would be a good idea to email Emma and let her know he’d arrived safely.

Now Jeff and Emma were active members of the congregation at a Lutheran church in Manhattan, and the wife of the preacher from the church was Emma Davis, which coincidentally was exactly the same name as Jeff’s wife, Emma.

In his haste to type out his message, Jeff inadvertently selected the wrong Emma Davis from his contact list, and his message was sent to the preacher’s wife by mistake.

To compound the problem, it just so happened that the elderly preacher had died suddenly on the day that Jeff had departed for Acapulco.

So, when the grieving widow checked her emails, she saw she had a message from a parishioner, and naturally, she opened it and began reading.

Immediately, she let out a loud, piercing scream, and then she fainted, collapsing to the floor.

At the sound of her falling, her daughter rushed into the room. Her daughter looked at her mother and then glanced at the message her mother had been reading on her iPad.

The email message read:

Dearest Emma,

I’ve just arrived. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. It’s certainly hot down here.

2. The early days in paradise:

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!“

To which God responds, “And what is this problem, Eve?“

“Well, Lord,” says Eve, “I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m lonely and unhappy.”

Naturally, God is sympathetic to Eve’s plight and says, “Well, Eve, my dear, I have a solution for you. I shall create a man for you.“

“Oh, right,” says Eve. “But what is a man, Lord?”

“Man will be a flawed creature,” says God. “He will have many tiresome traits. He will lie, cheat, and be quite selfish and self-obsessed. He will frequently give you a hard time, too.”

Sounding doubtful, Eve says, “How will this be a positive experience for me then, Lord?”

“Well,” says God, “he’ll be bigger than you, stronger, and will be good at hunting food and killing things.”

“That sounds more encouraging,” says Eve.

God continued, “However, he will look silly when aroused, but he will satisfy your physical needs.”

“Is there anything else I should know, Lord?” says Eve.

“Yes,” God continues. “He will be witless and will enjoy childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won’t be smart, so he’ll need your advice to think properly.“

“That sounds great, Lord,” says Eve, “but what’s the catch?“

“You will have to agree to one condition,” God responds.

“And what is that, Lord?” asks Eve.

“Well, as he will be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring, you’ll have to let him believe that I made him first,” says God. “Can you do that, Eve?”

“Yes, Lord,” says Eve.

“That’s good, but just remember, this will be our little secret, Eve,” says God. “You know, woman to woman.”

3. Old age problem:

Jack was on his lunch break, and he decided that he’d sit in the sunshine in Central Park to eat his lunch.

As he walked into the park, he noticed an elderly man sitting on a bench near the gate, sobbing uncontrollably.

Naturally, Jack stopped and asked the old man what was wrong.

“I have a beautiful, 39-year-old wife at home,” said the old man. “She’s loving and kind, and every morning she gets up and makes me pancakes for breakfast with maple syrup, blueberries, and freshly ground coffee.”

“Wow!” said Jack. “She sounds wonderful. So, why are you crying?”

The old man continued to sob. “She cleans my house and keeps it spotless and tidy. Then she makes me delicious clam chowder and crackers for lunch. And in the afternoon, she sits with me, and we watch the sports channel for the rest of the afternoon.”

“Gee!” Jack responded. “Women like that are hard to find. So, why are you crying?”

With a tear in his eye, the old man said, “For dinner, she always cooks a delicious, gourmet meal with French wine and a fabulous dessert. And after dinner, we cuddle on the sofa watching television until bedtime.”

“You’re a lucky man,” said Jack, “and I don’t understand why in the world you would be crying.”

The old man looked up and sighed, “I can’t remember where I live.”

4. An expression of love:

Jane was a born romantic at heart, and she liked nothing better than to send her husband, Jim, a loving text message whenever he was away on business.

One morning, when Jim was away, she decided to send him a text message, knowing he would likely be in his hotel room getting ready for the day ahead.

Her message read, “If you’re still sleeping, send me your dreams. If you’re laughing, send me your smile. Perhaps you’re still eating; in that case, send me a bite. And if you’re drinking your morning coffee, then send me a sip. I love you!”

Unfortunately for Jane, Jim was the typical blunt, unromantic kind of guy. He responded, “I’m on the toilet, taking a dump. Please advise.”

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I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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3 funny stories that’ll make you laugh

07/03/2025 by

Searching for some funny stories, dear reader? Well, if you enjoy jokes in the form of amusing stories, then I have three little gems for you today.

So, grab a coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy them all.

And please feel free to share them.

FUNNY STORIES
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Funny Stories:

1. The boasting Texan:

Gus was a proud Texan who’d never been outside the United States before. So he decided he’d take a vacation in Canada.

On arriving at Toronto Pearson International Airport, he took a cab to his downtown hotel.

During the ride into the city, they passed Queen’s Park, and Gus was a little curious to learn something about the place.

So he said to the cab driver, “Hey buddy, what’s that?”

“Well,” said the cab driver with a sense of pride, “that park is the site of the Ontario Legislative Building, which houses the Legislative Assembly of Ontario. It’s like your State government. Believe it or not, those buildings are over 100 years old, and they’re big, don’t you think?”

Gus was unimpressed. “That’s nothing,” he said. “Back in Texas, we have older buildings that are twice as big.”

Then they drove past the skyscraper known as First Canadian Place.

“And what’s that?” asked Gus.

“Oh, that’s Canada’s tallest skyscraper,” said the cab driver. “Believe it or not, that’s 978 feet high, and it took four years to build.”

“Only 978 feet, that’s not very tall,” Gus responded. “Back home, we have much taller buildings, and they were all built in half the time. In the United States, that building wouldn’t even make the list of the top 10 tallest buildings.”

Naturally, at this point, the cab driver was starting to feel a little irritated by Gus’s boasting.

Soon, they were driving past the CN Tower.

Gus stared at it momentarily and then asked the cab driver, “And what’s that, buddy?”

The cab driver looked at the structure and then smiled, “Oh, that’s just a Canadian pepper grinder.”

2. The wrong priorities:

Jeff was a very successful young lawyer who was involved in a terrible car crash on the freeway.

The whole of the driver’s side of Jeff’s Maserati had been ripped clean off, along with his left arm.

He was staggering out of the wreckage when a motorcycle police officer arrived at the scene.

Jeff was clearly in a state of shock, mumbling, “Oh my God! My car! Look at my car!”

Seeing how badly Jeff was injured, the police officer said, “Sir, please try to stay calm. We need to be more concerned about your injuries than any damage to your car.”

Jeff slowly looked down to where his left arm had once been, and then suddenly he screamed, “Oh my God! My Rolex is gone! Where’s my Rolex?”

3. The Psychiatric Hospital:

Jim and Rita were long-term patients in a psychiatric hospital.

One day, they were walking past the hospital’s therapeutic swimming pool when, suddenly, Jim threw himself into the deep end.

Knowing Jim couldn’t swim at all, Rita dived straight in after him and dragged him to the safety of the poolside.

As luck would have it, the head psychiatrist saw exactly what happened and recognised just how brave Rita had been in the circumstances.

In recognition of her bravery, it was decided that she was ready for discharge from the hospital, as her actions suggested that she was now mentally sound.

So the head psychiatrist called her into his office to tell Rita about the review panel’s decision.

“Rita,” said the head psychiatrist, “I have some good news for you. Unfortunately, I also have some bad news for you.”

“What’s the good news?” asked Rita.

“Well, in recognition of your bravery in saving the life of another patient,” said the head psychiatrist, “we think you’ve shown you’ve regained a sound mind, so it’s been decided that you’re ready to be discharged.”

“That’s good,” said Rita. “But what’s the bad news?”

“Well, Jim subsequently hanged himself with the belt of his robe in the washroom. Unfortunately, he’s dead,” the head psychiatrist responded.

“No, doctor,” said Rita, “he didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry.”

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9 funny short story jokes to make you laugh

06/27/2025 by

If you’re looking for some funny short story jokes to make you laugh, then I think I have nine excellent ones for you today, dear reader.

If you love a good laugh, then I’m confident some of these will tickle your fancy.

So grab a coffee, relax and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

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Funny short story jokes to make you laugh:

1. The funeral cortège:

Bill was walking along Main Street when he saw a funeral cortège, so he stopped for a moment as a mark of respect.

He noticed that there were two hearses with coffins in the cortège, and the procession was being followed by a man walking solemnly with a pit bull terrier on a leash.

And behind him, there was a long line of about 100 men walking quietly in single file.

Curious Bill spoke to the man with the dog and asked, “Excuse me, sir, I don’t want to intrude on this sad occasion, but your situation seems a little unusual. Whose funeral is this?”

“Well”, the man replied, “The first hearse is for my late wife. She died after this dog attacked her.”

“And the second hearse?” said Bill.

“The second hearse is for my late mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife during the attack, and the dog savaged her to death too”, the man responded.

Bill thought momentarily about the challenges in his own life, and then he said to the man, “Is there any chance I could borrow your dog after the funeral?”

The man smiled and pointed to the line of men behind him and said, “You’ll have to join the queue, buddy.”

2. The power of prayer:

Jackie was invited to give a talk at her local women’s group about the power of prayer.

With her husband Mike in the audience, she recalled how a few short months ago she’d turned to God when poor Mike had suffered an unfortunate accident.

“Six months ago”, Jackie began, “my husband Mike was knocked off his motorcycle and his scrotum was smashed.”

Jackie explained that for Mike, the pain had been unbearable, and his doctors weren’t sure they’d be able to help him.

“The doctors warned us that our lives might never be the same again”, said Jackie. “I can tell you I was scared. Mike was unable to get close to me or the children because every move caused him such extreme discomfort. And that meant he could no longer be touched around the scrotum.”

Jackie paused momentarily to allow the audience to absorb her words.

Then she said, “I’m not ashamed to say I turned to God for help, and I prayed that the doctors would be able to repair Mike.”

Again, she paused and then said, “Fortunately, our prayers were answered, and the doctors were able to piece together the remnants of Mike’s scrotum with wire holding everything in place. His medical team tell me that he will make a full recovery and regain the full use of his scrotum.”

As the audience burst into applause, a lone man walked slowly up to the stage and said, “Hello, I’m Mike, Jackie’s husband, and I just wanted to remind my wife once again that the word is ‘sternum’.”

3. Discovering facts:

As part of her rehabilitation, a patient in a mental hospital was told by her psychiatrist to go out into the nearby town and discover one new fact.

Off she went, and then a few hours later, the patient returned to the hospital to tell the psychiatrist all about what she had learned.

So said her psychiatrist, “Were you able to find out something you didn’t know before?”

“Yes”, said the patient, “I discovered that spiders have ears on their legs.”

“Ears on their legs?” said the psychiatrist. “How did you work that out?”

The patient produced a matchbox and when opened a large spider crawled out onto the psychiatrist’s desk.

The patient then said “Boo!”

The spider scurried quickly across the desktop.

The patient then grabbed the spider and proceeded to pull off all its legs.

She then put it back on the desk and once again said, “Boo!”

Naturally, the spider was motionless.

The patient looked at the psychiatrist, smiled and then said, “Do you see? Without its legs, it can’t hear me.”

4. Jogging Rick’s Memory:

Rick had spent several weeks searching for a new hat that resembled the one he had misplaced.

Finally, he remembered a man who attended his local church who wore a similar hat.

So, Rick decided to go to church on Sunday. He thought that if he sat at the back, during the service, he could sneak out and grab the hat from the rack near the door if he left early.

During the service, Rick sat at the back and listened to the sermon about the Ten Commandments.

Despite his cunning plan, Rick sat and listened to the entire sermon, and instead of sneaking out early, he waited until Mass was over and spoke to the priest as he was leaving.

“Hello, Father,” said Rick. “Believe it or not, I came here today with a plan to steal a hat to replace the one I’d lost. But after hearing your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I changed my mind.”

In response, Father O’Riley smiled benevolently and said, “Bless you, my son. Was it when I started to preach ‘Thou shalt not steal’ that changed your mind?”

“No, Father,” Rick responded. “It was when you mentioned the one about adultery. As you started to preach that, I remembered where I’d left my hat.”

5. Old remedies:

Jack walked into a pharmacy and said to the pharmacist, “Excuse me, sir, do you have anything for hiccups?“

The pharmacist walked from behind the counter, appeared to reach for something high on a shelf, and then he suddenly slapped Jack hard on the back.

He smiled at Jack and then said, “There! Did that help?“

“I can’t tell from here,” said Jack. “It’s my wife with the problem, and she’s waiting outside in the car.“

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6. Unpaid debt:

Bert is in a dispute with his neighbour, and he goes to see a lawyer for help.

“How can I help you?” asks the lawyer.

“Well, sir,” says Bert, “my neighbour borrowed $500 and now he won’t pay it back. So, what can I do?“

“Do you have any proof that he owes you this money?” asks the lawyer.

“Unfortunately, no,” says Bert. “We used to be friends, and I thought I could trust him.“

“Right,” says the lawyer, “I suggest that I write him a letter, enclosing a stamped, addressed return envelope, requesting the $5,000 that he owes you.“

“But he’ll say that it’s only $500,” says Bert.

“Exactly!” says the lawyer. “That way we’ll have an admission of guilt should it go to court.”

Moral of the Story: A good lawyer won’t let a lack of evidence get in the way of fighting a case.

7. Windfall:

Wally and Mildred are an elderly couple celebrating their sixtieth wedding anniversary.

They had been childhood sweethearts, and they had recently moved back to the neighbourhood where they grew up.

Holding hands, they walked around the area, and they decided to go back and visit their old school.

The school wasn’t locked, but the classes had gone home for the day.

So, they entered and walked around. Unbelievably, they found their old classroom and the old wooden desk they had shared, on which Wally had carved, “I love Mildred Jones.”

As they were leaving the school campus, an armoured security van drove past and, as it did so, a large bag of money fell out, practically landing at their feet.

Now, there was no one around, so Mildred grabbed it quickly. As they were unsure what to do with it, they decided to take it home.

Once home, Mildred decided she’d sit and count the money. Very quickly, she realised that the bag contained $100,000.

Wally was an honest man and felt that they should return it.

“Nonsense!” said Mildred. “Surely, it’s finders’ keepers. And anyway, we could use a little extra money.”

With that, Mildred put the money back in the bag and hid it in the loft.

The next day, Mildred answered a knock on her front door, and two police officers were standing in front of her.

“Good morning, mam,” said one of the police officers. “We’re investigating the disappearance of a cash bag that fell from a security van yesterday. Did you or your husband see anything?”

Mildred smiled demurely and said, “No, officer.”

At this point, Wally’s conscience got the better of him, and he said, “She’s lying, officer. She’s got the money, and she hid it up in the loft.“

Once again, Mildred smiled demurely and said, “Don’t listen to him, officer, he’s getting senile, and his imagination runs away with him at times.”

“Well, not so fast,” the police officer says. “I think we should listen to what he has to say.”

With that, the officer turns to Wally and says, “Sir, can you tell us the story from the beginning?“

“Well,” said Wally, “when Mildred and I were walking home from school yesterday.“

The two police officers look at each other, and one says, “Let’s go, there’s nothing to see here.”

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with women of a certain age. You won’t win.

8. The admiral and the general:

A Navy admiral and an Army general were fishing together on a lake one day when a storm blew up and their boat capsized.

Not being quite as fit as they once were, both men were floundering helplessly in the water.

However, eventually, the general managed to right the boat and clamber back on board.

He then rescued the admiral from drowning by reaching out to him with one of the oars and then hauling him back in.

As the admiral was dragged into the boat, he struggled for a few seconds to regain his composure.

Then he said, “Please don’t say a word to anyone about this. If anyone in the Navy knew I couldn’t swim, I’d be disgraced.”

The general smiled and said, “Don’t worry, buddy, your secret’s safe with me. I’d hate for my troops to find out that I couldn’t walk on water.”

9. The origin of the species:

As she was getting ready for school one morning, Grace asked her mother, “How did the human race appear, Mom?”

“Well”, said her mother, “God made Adam and Eve, and they had children, and that’s how we all began, dear.”

Two days later, Grace asked her father the same question.

“Well”, said her father, “first there were apes and from them, the human race has evolved.”

Naturally, these responses left Grace a little confused.

So once again, she spoke with her mother and said, “Mom, I don’t understand. You said that we were created by God but dad says we evolved from apes. How can that be?”

Her mother smiled and said, “Well, darling, it’s all very simple. I was telling you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.”

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Did any of these funny short story jokes make you laugh? If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

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33 funny jokes for 5-year-olds that’ll tickle adults too

06/21/2025 by

If you’re looking for funny jokes for 5-year-olds, then I’ve curated 33 of them, and I think they might just tickle you too, dear reader. I hope so, anyway.

Take a few moments to enjoy them all, or at least groan at a few, and then share them with the 5-year-olds in your life, and anyone else you think they’ll amuse as well.

Jokes-for-5-year-olds
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Jokes for 5-year-olds (1-11):

  1. What pie can fly? – A magpie.
  2. What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit? – Nectarine.
  3. How do you start a milk pudding race? – Say go.
  4. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms? – A doctorpus
  5. What do you call a bike that bites people? – A vicious cycle.
  6. Which sea creature is good at math? – An octoplus.
  7. What do you call a Scottish parrot? – A Macaw.
  8. What do you call a pickle that draws? – A dillustrator.
  9. Who was the pizza’s favourite relative? – Aunt Chovy.
  10. Where would seaweed look for a job? – The kelp-wanted ads.
  11. What grace is said before a salad is eaten? – Lettuce pray.

Jokes for 5-year-olds (12-22):

  1. Why do lions eat raw meat? – They don’t know how to cook it.
  2. What food can be eaten in a taxi? – Corn-on-the-cab.
  3. Where would you see hamburgers boxing? – In an onion ring.
  4. What did the dinner plate say to the side plate? – Lunch is on me.
  5. What lies on the forest floor, 100 feet in the air? – A dead centipede.
  6. Which vegetable is most unreliable? – A fickle onion.
  7. What goes up but doesn’t come down? – Your age.
  8. What kind of nut will you find on a wall? – A walnut.
  9. So, how long were you there? – About five foot eleven.
  10. Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.
  11. In what way are cooks cruel to animals? – They batter fish.

Jokes for 5-year-olds (23-33):

  1. Why did the sandwich go to the dentist? – It needed a filling.
  2. How long should you cook spaghetti? – About 30 centimetres.
  3. What is served in glasses but is hard to swallow? – A stiff drink.
  4. Why did the pickle stay home from school? – Because he felt dill.
  5. What did one snowman say to the other? – Can you smell carrots?
  6. What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? – A coconut on holiday.
  7. Why did the orange go to the doctor? – He wasn’t peeling very well.
  8. How did the Irish potato change nationality? – It became a French fry.
  9. Why did the banana go out with the prune? – Because he couldn’t find a date.
  10. What did one strawberry say to another? – I told you we’d end up in this jam.
  11. Which is the best, a hamburger or a hot dog? – A hamburger because hot dogs are wurst.
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30 comedy one-liners that are pure gold

06/17/2025 by

Are you tired of the same old jokes that leave you uninspired and unamused, dear reader? Perhaps you’re looking for some comedy one-liners that might amuse your friends and colleagues.

Well, if you’re looking for some comedy gold, some of these one-liners might leave you in stitches.

This collection of comedy one-liners will leave you with a smile on your face and a chuckle in your heart.

From witty observations to pun-filled gags, these one-liners will keep you entertained and amused.

Whether you’re looking to brighten up your day or impress your friends with your quick wit, these one-liners are sure to deliver.

So why wait? Grab a cup of coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy all these one-liners. They’ll tickle you silly.

Feel free to pass them on.

COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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Comedy one-liners (1-10):

  1. I’m not old, I’m chronologically gifted.
  2. Am I lazy? No, I’m just conserving energy.
  3. I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.
  4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  5. Why did the blond move to LA? It was easier to spell.
  6. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.
  7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  8. Why do they call it a drive-through if you have to stop?
  9. I’m not a light sleeper. I can sleep just as well in the dark
  10. I’m not a great cook, but few people are better at re-heating.

Comedy one-liners (11-20):

  1. I’m not a morning person, I’m a several-cups-of-coffee person.
  2. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
  3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  4. If a chicken crosses the road, then would that be poultry in motion?
  5. I told my wife she was acting like a fool. She replied, “You married me.”
  6. Why did the hedgehog cross the road? He wanted to see his flat mate.
  7. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was about to crumble.
  8. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  9. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
  10. Why does a flamingo lift one leg? Because if it lifted both it would fall over.

Comedy one-liners (21-30):

  1. I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to charge the camera.
  2. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  3. I used to fear the speed bump outside my house, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  4. I told my wife she was acting like a drama queen. She replied, “Long live the queen.”
  5. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  7. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  8. I’m not a fan of politicians. They’re always trying to get in touch with the people they used to avoid in high school.
  9. Why do wives of bus drivers have trouble getting pregnant? Because bus drivers tend to pull out unexpectedly.
  10. What does it mean when your doctor says you have six months to live? The message is you have five months to pay.
COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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33 terrible puns, so bad they’ll make you smile

06/15/2025 by

Puns can be really corny, and terrible puns are the corniest of the lot. Nevertheless, lots of people like them, and I always get a good response when I put a collection of them together.

So today I offer you another 33 puns, corny to the point of being terrible, but they just might make you smile too. I hope so.

Enjoy them all, and please pass them on to your friends.

TERRIBLE PUNS
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Terrible puns (1-11):

  1. Squid puns are inkredible.
  2. With fish puns, any fin goes.
  3. We’re big fans of renewable energy.
  4. Skeleton puns are close to the bone.
  5. With Halloween puns, anything ghost.
  6. Do I like tea? I’m willing to give it a chai.
  7. With music puns, I’ve had too much too tune.
  8. Haunted French pancakes will give you the crepes.
  9. Two blood cells fell in love but alas it was all in vein.
  10. Do busy elephants keep a list of tusks to be completed?
  11. With mountaineering puns, actions peak louder than words.

Terrible puns (12-22):

  1. Why don’t frogs wear shoes? They prefer open-toad sandals.
  2. If a plant is sad, do the other plants photosympathize with it?
  3. What did the biologist wear on his first date? Designer Genes.
  4. I went terrapin bowling the other night. It was turtley amazing.
  5. My orange was a funny color. Definitely, a whiter shade of peel.
  6. In the debate about Mexican food, I played the Devil’s avocado.
  7. If I had a ruminant of pride, would I be writing terrible camel puns?
  8. The omelette wasn’t very good, but I’ve put it down to eggsperience.
  9. Sales promotion on French breadsticks. Buy one, baguette one free!
  10. I’ve been to Joshua Tree National Park but it’s not all it’s cactus to be.
  11. There was a wild bamboo party at the zoo. It was utter panda-monium.

Terrible puns (13-33):

  1. I looked at the Indian buffet and thought, “No, I don’t want naan of that.”
  2. My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes. It Taurus apart.
  3. Omelettin’ you have it. Yolks about accidents in egg factories aren’t funny.
  4. The baker smiled and said, “I don’t knead money, I’ve got plenty of dough.”
  5. I’d love to explore the Arctic and boldly go where snowmen have gone before.
  6. What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another? “Sorry, my fault!”
  7. The baker brought out a tray of American-style, glazed, sweet treats. I said, “Donut tempt me.”
  8. A chicken walked into a bar swearing, loudly. “No fowl language, please,” said the bartender.
  9. They served leaf cabbage for lunch in the police canteen but I thought, “That’s beyond the kale of duty!”
  10. Cows were complaining about living conditions on the farm and the leader said, “We’ve herd the problems but hoof you spoken to so far?”
  11. Two Martians land in a field and the first thing they see is a cute little doe eating grass. “I’ve never seen herbivore,” one said to the other.
Terrible Puns
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31 jokes for children that will make you smile too

06/05/2025 by

Looking for some jokes for children, dear reader?

Like adults, children love to laugh, and telling jokes to children is a great way to bond with them.

So today I’ve put together some very silly jokes that will really appeal to the children in your life, particularly younger children.

Take five minutes to enjoy these jokes and share them with the kids in your life.

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Jokes for children (1-10):

  1. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
  2. Why don’t male ants sink? They’re buoy-ant.
  3. What’s orange and sounds like a carrot? A parrot.
  4. Where does Batman go to the toilet? The batroom.
  5. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse.
  6. How do oceans say hello to each other? They wave.
  7. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  8. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
  9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  10. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.

Jokes for children (11-20):

  1. What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
  2. Why did the M&M go to school? Because it wanted to be a Smartie.
  3. Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything!
  4. What did one hat say to the other? You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
  5. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  6. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
  7. Why shouldn’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
  8. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
  9. What did one tomato say to the other? You go on ahead and I’ll ketchup.
  10. Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away.

Jokes for children (21-31):

  1. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? They dribble all the time.
  2. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.
  3. Why did it get so hot in the ballpark after the game? All of the fans left.
  4. Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? In case she needed to draw blood.
  5. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
  6. Why are ghosts, such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
  7. Why aren’t koalas actually bears? Because they don’t have the koalafications.
  8. Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? They both got six months each.
  9. What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
  10. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
  11. Did you hear about the dog that ate all the Scrabble tiles? He kept leaving little messages all over the house.

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