65 facts about life that few people ever mention

If you’re looking for facts about life, dear reader, this post is for you. Here are some facts that rarely, if ever, get a mention.

Some people will argue that this list is subjective. However, in my experience, the facts I offer you today are all true.

Take a look at them all and see what you think. And please feel free to pass them on.

Facts About Life

Facts about life (1-20):

  1. There’s no such thing as easy money.
  2. If you don’t go for it, you won’t get it.
  3. You cannot debate with those who despise you.
  4. Your opinion is just as valid as the next person’s.
  5. In wanting to appeal to everyone, you’ll appeal to no one.
  6. Sometimes, the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.
  7. You’ll be remembered not for what you got but for what you gave.
  8. Create your own job, and you’ll never be threatened by layoffs again.
  9. Life’s tough for everyone, and for many people, it’s very tough indeed.
  10. Free speech is the right to express opinions to which others may object.
  11. Rarely do people appreciate what they have until they no longer have it.
  12. If a lie is repeated often enough, eventually it becomes accepted as the truth.
  13. Just because it matters to you, it doesn’t mean it must matter to me, too.
  14. People should be judged by their character and the contribution they make.
  15. The public will get what it tolerates. An easy life comes at a significant price.
  16. We live on in the hearts we touched and within the people for whom we mattered.
  17. You don’t decide your future. You make choices, and your choices decide your future.
  18. By definition, a fact is a fact, and ignoring a fact doesn’t mean it ceases to exist.
  19. You won’t find true happiness in material things. Happiness lies in love and laughter.
  20. Blessed are the young, and those not born yet, for they shall inherit the national debt.
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Facts about life (21-35):

  1. The unquestioning acceptance of fashionable dogma is not the mark of great intellect.
  2. To believe is to accept unquestionably as fact that which cannot be demonstrated to be fact.
  3. People will believe what they want to believe, regardless of whether they can be sure it’s true.
  4. People who demand tolerance from others are frequently the most intolerant themselves.
  5. You’ll be judged not on what you say but on what you do. Talk is cheap, but only results matter.
  6. We’re not defined by the circumstances into which we were born. Life can be better if we make it so.
  7. Your years on this earth will teach you far more than you could learn in any university or college.
  8. All good ideas are eventually infiltrated and ruined by the attention-seeking few with their own agenda.
  9. In the po-faced, new-puritanical era in which we now live, we’re losing the ability to laugh at ourselves.
  10. With gambling, there’s only one winner consistently, and that’s the casino. That’s why they’re in business.
  11. It doesn’t matter what you do or how well you do it, there’ll always be someone who will criticise you.
  12. Success is enjoying what you do while having sufficient money to live your preferred lifestyle comfortably.
  13. Being too nice is not virtuous; it’s naive, bordering on foolishness, and it creates more problems than it solves.
  14. As long as we’re not hurting anyone else, then how we choose to live our lives is no one’s business but our own.
  15. If something cannot be subjected to scrutiny and criticism, then it’s probably not a good idea in the first place.

Facts about life (36-45):

  1. People will always have problems in need of solutions. If you can be that solution, you can make a good living.
  2. When your opinions run counter to the fashionable dogma of the day, you’re unlikely to get a fair hearing in the media.
  3. Past wrongs cannot be righted. All we can do is learn from any mistakes made and endeavour to do better next time.
  4. No job is more important than being a good parent because parents nurture the next generation, and children are the future.
  5. A promotion at work is not a reward for what you’ve done in the past; it’s an opportunity to show what you can do in the future.
  6. When everything’s going well and you’re feeling like you can do no wrong, think twice. You’re more vulnerable than you realise.
  7. We live in a world of Orwellian ‘newspeak’ where we’re expected to accept as fact that which everyone knows is complete nonsense.
  8. The world is full of Charlatans and con artists, all claiming to know what’s best for the rest of us. They should all be challenged constantly.
  9. Having a fancy job title doesn’t mean you’re more important than someone else. A job is just a job, and we all add value in our own way.
  10. We have to deal with reality as it is and not how we like it to be. So, we must protect ourselves and our interests because no one will do it for us.

Facts about life (46-54):

  1. Extreme political movements are usually a lot of useful idiots led by a few sinister people with an agenda that’s in no one’s interests but theirs.
  2. We’ll keep making the same mistake until we learn the lesson the mistake was intended to teach us. Life is a classroom, and the lessons never stop.
  3. A question asked comes with no obligation to provide anything other than a polite response. Remember that should you ever be grilled by the media.
  4. Remaining loyal to the circumstances into which you were born is not a noble act. Just because you were born poor doesn’t mean you have to remain poor.
  5. We live in an age when a lack of knowledge or expertise doesn’t mean people will not have an opinion on a given issue that they expect to be taken seriously.
  6. It’s for us to give our lives meaning. To leave a legacy by doing something that’ll add a little value to the lives of others and make the world a slightly better place.
  7. If you don’t tend to your own garden regularly, it will be quickly attacked by noxious weeds. Life’s like that too. We must all take good care of that which is precious to us.
  8. An employer will replace you in a heartbeat, should you pass away, but to your loved ones you can never be replaced. That should tell you where your priority should be.
  9. History serves as a series of lessons to us all. We cannot be selective about what we include in our history, otherwise, we risk forgetting the lessons and making the same mistakes again.

Facts about life (55-60):

  1. Drawing attention to injustices, wherever they are, really can make a difference. So don’t be afraid to call out those who seek to harm others for doing nothing other than expressing an opinion.
  2. To remain silent is to be irrelevant. A quiet life will come at a cost to you. The cost is people with louder voices moving the world in a direction you may not like. Speak up or live with the consequences.
  3. In a totalitarian world dissenting voices must be crushed ruthlessly or they might influence others to express dissent too. Political ideologues demand subservience and dogma accepted without question.
  4. If your job can be done from anywhere, then someone anywhere can do your job? So, if a company is looking to reduce costs, in order to increase their profits, jobs will be moved to wherever in the world labour is cheapest.
  5. Extreme ideology can pass into the mainstream and take hold if we’re all too complacent to stay on top of what’s going on. If we’re asleep at the wheel, life can quickly become a car crash and we’ll only have ourselves to blame.
  6. If we judge previous generations through the prism of modern sensibilities, they’ll always look bad. They lived in their time and we live in ours. We cannot know what their lives were really like, so we cannot judge them fairly, nor should we try.

Facts about life (61-65):

  1. It doesn’t matter how good a job you do, others will take credit for your contribution long after you’ve gone, but you’ll be the person responsible for any problems, regardless of whether you actually had anything to do with any of them or not.
  2. Celebrities are nothing more than skilled media manipulators who profit from the public’s gullibility by constantly maintaining an image with the aim of creating the illusion that they’re something special when in fact they’re nothing special at all.
  3. The problem with social media today is that far too many people feel the need to express opinions consistent with the latest fashionable dogma currently trending regardless of whether they actually have any significant knowledge of the subject at all.
  4. Unless your ambition is to secure a job for which having a degree is mandatory, then you’re probably wasting three years of your life and $75,000 of debt by going to university nowadays. You’re unlikely to get a return on the debt you incur, so consider your options carefully.
  5. They say that those with the gold make the rules. Well, if you’re not being served in the way you feel you should be, then whoever’s providing you with that service can be reminded of the purchasing power you hold in your hands by a simple boycott. You don’t have to accept the unacceptable.

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21 silly jokes guaranteed to make your kids smile

Kids love silly jokes, and quite a few adults do too, including me. Whenever I hear silly jokes, I always make a note of them in my journal. Well, they’re always useful for breaking the ice at dinner parties, if nothing else.

Anyway, today I thought I’d trawl through my journal and put together a collection of some of the best silly jokes just for you, dear reader. I hope you enjoy them all.

Certainly, I did, both the first time around and on reviewing them now.

Yes, they’re all very silly but they’re guaranteed to make your kids smile.

Silly Jokes:

  • Why did the ant elope?
  • Nobody gnu
  • Why do skunks argue?
  • They like to kick up a stink
  • How do you arrest a pig?
  • Put it in ham cuffs
  • Why do horses look sad?
  • They have long faces
  • Why do coyotes call at night?
  • The rates are cheaper
  • What animal never gets wet?
  • An umbrellephant
  • What makes a chicken blush?
  • Henbarrassment
  • In what key does a cow sing?
  • Beef flat
  • Why don’t anteaters get sick?
  • They’re full of antibodies
  • How do rodents keep their breath fresh?
  • Using mousewash
Silly Jokes
Silly Jokes
  • What did the parrot say to the spaniel?
  • I’m a cocker too
  • How do you eat an elephant?
  • One bite at a time
  • What sound does a space turkey make?
  • Hubble, Hubble, Hubble
  • Why are giraffes brave?
  • Because they’re always sticking their next out
  • How many skunks does it take to stink out a room?
  • A phew
  • How does a dolphin make a decision?
  • Flipper coin
  • How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
  • You get a buzzy tone
  • What’s even better than the cat’s whiskers?
  • The bee’s knees
  • What happened when two American stoats got married?
  • They became the United Stoats of America
  • What do you get from a chicken who’s been drinking whisky?
  • Scotch eggs
  • What’s goes through a fly’s mind on impact with your windscreen?
  • Its ass

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If any of these silly jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

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25 silly jokes that are laugh out loud funny

Here’s another batch of short and silly but laugh out loud funny jokes just for you, dear reader.

Laughter is the best medicine, and we all need laugh out loud funny jokes to brighten our challenging lives.

So grab a coffee and take a few moments to enjoy these laugh out loud funny jokes right now.

I hope they give you a few minutes of pleasure to brighten your day.

Laugh out loud funny:

  • If I’m nobody;
  • And nobody’s perfect;
  • Then I must be perfect.
  • Why are frogs so happy?
  • They eat whatever bugs them.
  • How do you befriend a squirrel?
  • Act like a nut.
  • Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
  • Because they kept dropping their trunks.
  • What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
  • A chilly dog.
  • What do call you a row of bunnies moving backwards?
  • A receding hare line.
  • Why was the paediatrician always losing his temper?
  • Because he had little patients.
  • What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel it’s good enough?
  • Impasta syndrome.
  • Would you like to hear a joke about construction?
  • I’m still working on it.
  • I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
    He cried and gave me a big hug.
  • My wife was complaining that I never take her anywhere expensive.
  • So I said, “Come on, get in the car; we’re going to the gas station.”
Laugh out loud funny
Laugh out loud funny
  • They say 40 is the new 30
  • But try telling that to a traffic cop.
  • Relationships are like algebra.
  • You look at your X and wonder Y.
  • What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
  • BREATH!
  • What do you call a magic dog?
  • A labracadabrador.
  • You could say it was an emotional wedding.
  • Even the cake was in tears.
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes?
  • No eye deer.
  • A guy assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter.
  • How dairy.
  • My ex-wife still misses me.
  • But her aim’s improving.
  • I own a pencil once owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
  • Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
  • People didn’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
  • So I decided to raise the bar.
  • The World Tongue-Twister Champion was up before the judge in court.
  • I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.
  • I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
  • It’s a complex complex complex.
  • I hate insects puns.
  • They really bug me.
  • I’ve been trying to lose weight.
  • But it keeps finding me.

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Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

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19 funny jokes to tell your friends

Today I thought you might appreciate some funny jokes to tell your friends.

You’ll always have friends if you can entertain people and tell a joke or two. We all love to laugh, and someone amusing is immediately likeable. So, to be likeable, always have a few jokes in your back pocket.

If you want to make your friends smile, here are 19 funny jokes to tell your friends. Enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

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FUNNY JOKES TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS

Funny jokes to tell your friends (1-10)


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Funny jokes to tell your friends (11-19)


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I hope so. If they did make you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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35 brilliant one-liners that will make you smile

Whenever I share funny one-liners with readers, the posts are always popular. So it seemed like a good idea to collect a few more for you.

I’ve been collecting a lot more one-liners of late, so I thought it was time I shared them with you, dear reader.

Well, if they’re popular with readers, why wouldn’t I?

Today I am sharing what I think are 35 brilliant one-liners. They all made me smile, and I hope at least one or two of them will make you smile too.

I must confess that though I’ve collected these from various sources, I haven’t been able to identify the original authors. So they’re all classified as Author Unknown.

However, I would be happy to add acknowledgements to individual quotes if readers can enlighten me accordingly.

In the meantime, I hope these 35 brilliant one-liners will brighten your day.

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BRILLIANT ONE-LINERS

Brilliant one-liners (1-10):

  1. Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  2. It’s a day for firm decisions! Or is it?
  3. Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
  4. I want patience. AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
  5. Always give 100 % unless you’re donating blood.
  6. I started with nothing, and I’ve still got most of it.
  7. All those who believe in telekinesis raise my hand.
  8. I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
  9. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
  10. Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Brilliant one-liners (11-20):

  1. A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
  2. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  3. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  4. Did you hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra?
  5. What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxis.
  6. I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
  7. Being a hypochondriac will save my life one of these days.
  8. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
  9. Dogs will never make good dancers because they all have two left feet.
  10. I’ve just written a new book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.
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BRILLIANT ONE-LINERS

Brilliant one-liners (21-30):

  1. I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
  2. I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
  3. The first time I got a universal remote control I thought, “This changes everything!”
  4. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
  5. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
  6. I sent my photograph to a Lonely-Hearts Club. They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely.
  7. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
  8. I asked my wife whether she was willing to embrace her mistakes. She said, “I married you didn’t I!”
  9. You know you’re in a crazy church when the only tune the organist knows is ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’.
  10. I was going to ask God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Brilliant one-liners (31-35):

  1. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job but when I got home all the signs were there.
  2. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? She’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
  3. Did you hear about the guy who suffered from paranoia and low self-esteem? He thought no one important was out to get him.
  4. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. “How flexible are you?” he inquired. I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.”
  5. I once dated a girl with a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was easy really. Jill painted her nails purple and Bob had a beard.
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Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

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© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

22 bad puns that are so bad they’re funny

If you’re searching for bad puns, this post is for you.

I love puns, as you may have seen in some previous blog posts. The clever use of words always makes me smile. Whether they’re good puns or bad puns, they usually make me laugh.

Today my focus is on bad puns for a change.

So, here are 22 bad puns that reflect on why so many professionals never die.

I hope they brighten your day or, at least, don’t make you groan too much.

Enjoy them all now.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

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Bad Puns: 

  1. Old owls never die they just don’t give a hoot.
  2. Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.
  3. Old sculptors never die they just lose their marbles.
  4. Old professors never die they just lose their class.
  5. Old limbo dancers never die they just go under.
  6. Old chemists never die they just fail to react.
  7. Old mathematicians never die they just disintegrate.
  8. Old investors never die they just roll over.
  9. Old printers never die they’re just not the type.
  10. Old sanitation engineers never die they’re just dumped.
  11. Old police officers never die they just cop out.
  12. Old bankers never die they just lose interest.
  13. Old sewage workers never die they just waste away.
  14. Old electricians never die they just lose contact.
  15. Old accountants never die they just lose their figures.
  16. Old photographers never die they just stop developing.
  17. Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
  18. Old tailors never die they just get stitched up.
  19. Old chauffeurs never die they just lose their drive.
  20. Old quarterbacks never die they just pass away.
  21. Old cleaners never die they just kick the bucket.
  22. Old cooks never die they just get deranged.
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Can you add another one?

On the theme of old professionals never dying, can you add another one to this list?

Maybe you could make one up and entertain our readers? Perhaps a pun related to your profession or hobby? I’ll bet you can, dear reader.

Go on, have a go at writing one of your own, and send it to me via the Contact Page.

The page will then be updated and you’ll get a full acknowledgement on this post for your contribution

I’m confident readers will have lots of great ideas. So go on, let me have them now.

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I hope these bad puns made you laugh, dear reader.

However, perhaps you feel that you could use another laugh. If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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30 of the best puns guaranteed to make you smile

If you’re looking for the best puns, read on.

Do you enjoy clever puns, dear reader?

I must say, I do. I love them, and I’m always on the lookout for the best puns I can find, and occasionally I write my own too.

So here are 30 of the best puns you’ll hear today.

Unfortunately, I cannot be sure of their origin, but they’re guaranteed to make you laugh, of that I’m sure.

Certainly, they made me laugh, and I hope they brighten your day too.

Enjoy them all and feel free to pass them on.

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The Best Puns (1-15):

  1. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  2. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  3. Atheists can’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
  4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  5. A girl said she recognised me from my vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.
  6. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  7. The Energiser Bunny has been arrested and charged with battery.
  8. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
  9. I didn’t like my beard at first but it grew on me.
  10. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  11. Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
  12. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  13. What does the clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  14. I dreamt I wrote Lord of the Rings but I think I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
  15. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
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The Best Puns (16-30):

  1. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  2. I ordered 2000 lbs. of Chinese soup. It was Won Ton.
  3. With great reflexes comes great response ability.
  4. Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory for taking a day off?
  5. Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
  6. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason. Details are sketchy.
  7. Don’t make jokes about unemployed people. They don’t work.
  8. My computer’s got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.
  9. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
  10. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
  11. The best time to open a gift is the present.
  12. Why did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
  13. I used to build stairs for a living but it’s an up and down business.
  14. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
  15. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of the best puns listed above made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face now, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then please just click on the links below.

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© Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.

21 silly jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

If jokes that are just slightly silly appeal to you, then here are 21 silly jokes guaranteed to make you laugh.

These are the sort of jokes you’d find in Christmas crackers. Corny, but you can’t help laughing at them. Well, groaning anyway.

Certainly, they all made me smile, and I hope you enjoy them too, dear reader.

Take a few moments to enjoy them, and then please feel free to pass them on.

Silly Jokes:

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these silly jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

Other articles you’ll enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.

Why an investment in knowledge pays dividends

Today I want to explain why an investment in gaining knowledge is important and should be considered seriously.

You don’t get paid for the hour; you get paid for the value you put into the hour. Everyone must understand that important distinction, dear reader.

You get paid for the value you add.

The more value you can add, the more you’ll get paid over time.

It’s really that simple.

If you can solve problems for people with the skills you’ve got, then you can earn an excellent living.

The question is, what underpins your skills and your ability to add value? The answer to that question would be knowledge, of course.

Knowledge comes from learning, and learning is a lifelong process.

Learning is an investment

The quote at the top of this post from the venerable Benjamin Franklin reminds us of the importance of learning. Learning is an investment in ourselves.

We all have an enormous capacity to consume and retain knowledge in our heads, and that knowledge is then a currency with which we can trade. The more knowledge we have, the more value we can add.

When it comes to investing, nothing will pay you a better dividend than making sure you have a good education. And I stress that it’s a lifelong process. It doesn’t end when you leave school or college.

And it’s not about whether or not you went to college or university. Important as they may be, learning can be achieved in many ways.

Self-education is the best education

Knowledge can be gained through reading books, listening to audio and video tutorials, and challenging yourself to master anything that appeals to you.

Learning from hands-on experience, making mistakes, and learning the lessons you can take from any mistakes you’ve made.

In particular, if you want to master the game of money and all matters financial, then you need to become a seeker of financial knowledge and know-how.

You need to become a reader and a keen student of finance. To be successful in investing, of course, you need to know what you’re doing. You need financial education.

The price of ignorance

If you think that education is expensive, then think again. The price of ignorance is far greater.

Ignorance can prove to be very costly indeed. And that’s true in every aspect of your life.

Getting an education may seem expensive, but it’s nowhere near as expensive as ignorance.

So, if you’re not already, become a reader.

The investment in yourself is well worth the effort, and it’ll pay you a handsome dividend.

As the late, great Jim Rohn once said:

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25 witty one-liner jokes that might just make you smile

In need of being cheered up a little, dear reader? Then perhaps some of these witty one-liner jokes will make you smile.

I’ve been trawling my journal for some of the best one-liners I’ve heard in recent months, and I’ve picked out some of the best just for you.

I cannot confirm the authors of individual quotes, but if you know, please let me know via the contact page. I’m very keen to add credits where possible.

In the meantime, relax and take a few moments to enjoy these witty one-liner jokes.

Witty one-liner jokes (1-10):

  1. Moses had the first tablet connected to the cloud.
  2. Can I speak a second language? Does profanity count?
  3. Of course, my conscience is clear. It’s never been used.
  4. Am I ignorant and apathetic? I don’t know and I don’t care.
  5. If your horses don’t smoke, then your stable must be on fire.
  6. What two words do sharks most like to hear? Man overboard!
  7. I have the heart of a lion. For which I got a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  8. Four of the most beautiful words in the English language. I told you so!
  9. If I had 50 cents for every math exam I’d failed, I’d have $9.35 by now.
  10. I heard a song on the radio about tortillas. Actually, it was more of a rap.

Witty one-liner jokes (11-20):

  1. Do I think whiteboards are a wonderful invention? Certainly, they’re remarkable.
  2. I’ve no idea why, but they say I’m condescending. That’s talking down to people.
  3. The one thing I can say about the good old days is that I was neither good nor old.
  4. Leave them wanting more is always great advice unless you work in disaster relief.
  5. What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth? An unfortunate swimmer.
  6. In need of a good laugh? Start an argument with someone when they have hiccups.
  7. If we should never eat late at night, then the obvious question is, “Why does the fridge have a light?”
  8. I was having short-term memory problems, so I went to see my doctor. He wanted payment in advance.
  9. I read in the newspaper that a semicolon broke the law. Two consecutive sentences, apparently.
  10. 250 pounds on Earth is the same as 95 pounds on Mercury. So I’m not fat; I’m living on the wrong planet.

Witty one-liner jokes (21-25):

  1. What do you get when you wake up on a workday, only to realize that you’re out of coffee? A depresso.
  2. When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t remember on which side the sun rises. Then it dawned on me.
  3. Now there’s a difference between a man who eats shoots and leaves and a man who eats, shoots, and leaves.
  4. If peeling onions causes you to shed a few tears, then don’t form an emotional bond with them in the first place.
  5. Should women be allowed to have children after 40? Well, it’s their choice, but 40 seems more than enough children to me.

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People do enjoy witty one-liner jokes, so please share this post now.

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Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

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