Stress-free Archives

Absolutely guaranteed secret to success

04/13/2025 by Roy Sutton

Looking for the secret to success, dear reader? You’re not alone. So many people seek the secret, but very few find it.

Well, here’s Barbara Sher with some common-sense observations about life and success.

This is just part of a presentation she gave at the “Big, Cheap Weekend Workshop” in New York in July 2010. So it’s a decade ago now, but her observations are timeless, and they’re just as valid today as they were back then.

This video essentially is a ‘taster,’ but if you’re not familiar with Barbara’s work, then it might inspire you to check out her other videos on YouTube and indeed her public appearances, should she appear at a venue near you.

The secret to success:

The Power of Personal Responsibility

Now here are my thoughts on success.

I believe that personal responsibility is the key to success.

If you’re drifting and waiting in the hope that something will happen? Let me tell you, it won’t.

Well, not unless you’re lucky and just happen to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right thing someone needs.

For most of us, that’s never going to happen.

For almost everyone, we must make things happen ourselves.

Let me share a secret with you. The magic ingredient to achieving your dreams isn’t luck or some mystical force. It’s you.

It’s all about you grabbing the ball and running with it.

What do I mean?

I mean, you must embrace the power of personal responsibility.

You are the captain of your ship, sailing through the sea of life. You can steer your ship anywhere you want it to go.

Yes, there will be storms and occasionally calmer waters, but ultimately, you decide which way to steer your ship.

Personal responsibility is about acknowledging that your choices, big and small, are the compass guiding your journey to wherever you’re going.

You must decide what it is you want out of life. You must decide the lifestyle you’d prefer to live. And you must work out how to get it.

Once you know where you’re going, you must set yourself some goals.

And then you must pursue those goals with determination and a willingness to work hard to achieve them.

Nothing worth having ever comes easy.

We all make choices in life, all the time, and we must accept the consequences of those choices.

In short, we must take responsibility for those choices, and if we pursue good choices, they should lead to the best outcomes for us.

If you embrace personal responsibility and stop making excuses, you will start to make progress towards the life you want.

If you become proactive rather than reactive, you will be knowingly steering the good ship “You” in the direction of your desired destination.

Today’s choices shape tomorrow’s outcomes. It’s that simple.

So, are you ready to take the helm?

Are you ready to grasp the personal power you have and own your journey to success?

It won’t always be easy, but at least it will be yours.

Trust me, the feeling of achieving something because you made it happen is amazing, and you won’t regret it.

So, embrace personal responsibility and achieve your full potential.

You can do it! It won’t be easy, but it can be done, and people do. So can you!

Please share this post with your friends:

If you found this article useful then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you do I will be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. Thank you.

How to become rich through your work

04/07/2025 by Roy Sutton

How to become rich through your work? This is a question many people ask. Some people get rich, but somehow you don’t, dear reader. Would that be true? Why? You work hard, but you’ve got very little to show for it, right?

How is it that other people succeed and get rich, but you never seem to make any progress at all?

Perhaps the question you’ve been asking yourself is, what’s the real link between working hard and getting rich?

Well, give me a couple of minutes of your time, dear reader, and I’ll tell you what I’ve learned about work over the years and how it’s linked to the generation of real wealth.

How to become rich:

What is work?

First off, as I’ve said many times before:

Work is simply doing stuff for other people in return for money

If you enjoy your work and it comes naturally to you, then you’ll do it well. If you do it well, then people will notice. And once people start to notice, then increasingly you’ll be in demand.

The greater the demand for your services, the more you’ll get paid. In short, your value will increase.

If you truly enjoy your work and it becomes your passion, then it won’t seem like work at all.

However, if you work for a single employer, then essentially you’re trading your time for money, regardless of whether you enjoy your work or otherwise.

Even if you work for multiple employers one at a time, the effect is the same. You’re simply trading your time for money. It cannot be scalable because, as an individual, there’s only so much you can do in a given period.

There’s nothing wrong with trading your time for money, of course, and it’s the way that most people earn a living. However, you’re unlikely to get seriously rich that way.

Working for an employer will certainly make you a living, of course, but unless you work on Wall Street or in the City of London, that’s about all.

Serving the many:

To earn serious money, you need to be doing stuff for many people simultaneously. The more people you can serve simultaneously, the more money you can make.

The obvious question in your mind now will be, how’s that done?

Well, creative people serve many people simultaneously, don’t they?

For instance, if you write a bestselling book, record a bestselling song, or produce a bestselling DVD, these would all add value to the lives of many people simultaneously.

When people buy a book, a song, or a DVD in their millions, then, if you’re the creator, you can make millions of dollars in the process. Just ask JK Rowling, Paul McCartney, or Ricky Gervais. They’ve all become rich through their creative work.

Then again, not everyone can write, sing, or perform. Perhaps you’re a designer?

Suppose you design furniture, say a chair perhaps?

You produce a fabulous design and offer it to a furniture manufacturer. They really like it, and they want to use it, but you hold the intellectual property rights (IPR) because it’s your design. So the manufacturer must pay you a royalty when the design is used for every unit sold.

If that chair becomes very popular and sells in the millions, your ongoing royalty payments can add up to something quite substantial. Replicate that with many designs, and you could get very rich indeed.

In this case, the example is furniture, but the same would apply if you designed anything. For instance, the man who designed the retroreflective safety device known as cat’s eyes in Britain got very rich through his design. Fashion design is another area where serious money can be made from your designs if they become popular.

The value of the IPR:

The trick with creative work is to understand the law around copyright and intellectual property rights (IPR) and make sure you’re rewarded for your work through royalties.

The advantage of creative work is that the series of royalty payments can have a very long tail. Your work can be the gift that keeps on giving for years and years.

Take a song like Imagine by John Lennon.

John Lennon wrote that song around 1971, but we still hear it regularly on the radio and television to this day. So despite the fact that it’s been over 40 years since Lennon’s tragic death, the song still earns money for his estate, i.e. his family. Now that’s a real legacy for them.

Build your own business:

Starting a business and selling products by the thousand is another way to serve many people simultaneously.

If your business can produce products that provide your customers with genuine solutions to their problems, then there is serious money to be made. Problems are an opportunity to make money if you can offer suitable solutions.

Your business will employ people who are trading their time for money, but through your business, you’ll be serving the many simultaneously, and you can enrich yourself in the process.

The message here:

The takeaway message for you today:

If you work one-to-one, you’ll make a living, but if you can work one-to-many, you’ll make a fortune

Whether it’s becoming a creative person, a performing artist, or starting a business, serving the many is the real route to riches.

It’s not easy, of course, but it can be done, and people do. With a little self-belief and a lot of hard work, you can too.

So when are you going to get started?

Go on, have a go! Serve the many, not the few.

REMEMBER: It’s better to try and fail than to spend your life wondering what might have been.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find this article interesting and useful, dear reader?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share it now. If you do, I’ll be forever grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

17 cheesy jokes guaranteed to raise a smile

04/02/2025 by Roy Sutton

If you like cheesy jokes, this post is for you.

I’ve been surfing the Internet looking for humour and smiles.

On this occasion, I was specifically looking for cheesy jokes.

And I found 17 cheesy jokes that made me smile. I hope they make you smile today, too.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t identify the authors, but should you be one of them, please let me know, and I will add a suitable credit and link to your work.

Cheesy jokes:

What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
UCLA

Which US State has the smallest soft drinks?
Mini-soda

Where do pencils go for vacation?
Pencil-vania

What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer?
A loose Canon

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A Bagel

Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll

Why did the poor man sell yeast?
To raise some dough

How do snails fight?
They slug it out

Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!

What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
I just love baskin’ robins

What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold, hard cash!

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.

How does NASA organize a party?
They planet

What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
Quattro Sinko

Please share this post with your friends:

So, dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Were these cheesy quotes funny? Did they make you smile? If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, Cheese, Cheesy, Cheesy Jokes, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Laugh, Laugh Out Loud, LOL, smile, Stress-free

Why your personal philosophy for life really matters

03/23/2025 by Roy Sutton

Let’s talk about philosophy for life and what it matters.

An article relating to philosophy sounds like it might prove to be a little heavy, doesn’t it, dear reader? You might think I’ll be debating the merits of Plato, Socrates, and other thought-leading philosophers. Not today, that’s for sure. My aim today is to consider the idea of your personal philosophy for life and why it matters.

Personal philosophy explained:

What do I mean by ‘your personal philosophy‘?

In this case, I’m not referring to the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality and existence, and philosophical thinkers, past and present.

By philosophy, I’m referring to your mindset, whether it’s positive or negative, and how you choose to see the world around you.

I believe personal philosophy really does matter.

I think how you choose to look at life and the world around you will influence your life experiences to a greater degree than you might expect. It’ll also influence how happy you’ll be.

A simple philosophy:

My own personal philosophy for life is simple.

Firstly I accept the world around me is the world around me. It is what it is. Stuff happens and I have little or no control over most of what happens. That’s just life.

Politicians will come and politicians will go. They’ll promise much but deliver very little, usually.

Philosophically I accept that which I cannot influence directly. I see little point in worrying about any of it. Why worry about stuff you can’t change?

In my experience, people will always look after their own interests first.

That’s fair enough if you think about it because why would they do otherwise? If people don’t look after their own interests then no one else will that’s for sure.

The underlying point here is that most of what’s happening around us is all just noise really. All we can do is work around it.

And basically, that’s what I try to do.

Work on improving what you have to offer:

I focus on my own interests and those of my family and I always do my best to protect what’s mine.

My family will always come first and I will do anything for them. Well, anything that’s legal, at least.

To do the best for my family I recognise that I have to be the best that I can be. To have skills and knowledge that will allow me to add as much value to my work as I possibly can.

So I take personal development seriously. That way the more value I can add the greater will be my income.

I’m a reader and a keen learner and I’m constantly working to add to my skill set and knowledge. Learning for me is a lifelong process, it never stops, and I will keep learning until I no longer have the energy to pick up a book.

Learning is an investment in yourself.

I believe that the better-informed you are then the better prepared you’ll be to excel in your chosen field of work. You’ll also be better prepared to seize any opportunities that come your way too.

Income comes from serving other people:

Let’s face it, dear reader, work is just doing stuff for other people in exchange for money. Through our work, we serve other people.

We work to generate income. And we generate income to put bread on the table and a roof over ourselves and the heads of our loved ones.

While work gives us a sense of purpose and adds value to our lives, we should not live just to work. The idea should be to work to live. Well, I think so anyway.

Become financially independent:

We must work hard when we’re at work, of course, but we must enjoy life with the family as much as possible too. As they say, where I come from, we’ll be a long time dead.

My aim in life is to be financially independent with multiple income streams.

With multiple income streams, there’s a reduced risk of not having any income at all. Not having all your eggs in one basket makes a lot of sense to me.

Master the game of life:

Essentially, I see life as a game. And I aim to become a master of the game of life.

We must look after our own interests because no one else will.

We must be prepared to be ruthless when necessary. By that, I don’t mean being nasty or mean to people. However, if you don’t push hard sometimes, chances are you’ll lose out to those who are willing to make good use of their elbows.

My point is that we can’t afford to be overly sentimental, and on occasions, in making the right decisions for us it may prove to be less favourable for someone else.

If that happens, that’s life, I’m afraid. We must make decisions that are right for us.

Never lose sight of your own interests:

Sometimes you really have got to be prepared to use your elbows if you’re going to grab your fair share of life’s pie. Don’t be too willing to let other people go first. You might find there’s nothing left for you.

As always there’s a balance to be struck of course but never lose sight of your own interests and never do anything which works against your own interests.

There is no utopian place where all’s well and the sun shines every day. Life’s life. Some of it’s good and some of it’s not quite so good.

However in the end it’s what we make of it that counts. We get out what we put in. There’s no free ride for anyone. On Spaceship Earth we’re all crew.

Don’t let life steal your joy:

All you can do with life is deal with it as best you can.

Enjoy the summers but make sure you’re prepared for the winters too. There will always be winters. Winters always follow summers, so be prepared.

Enjoy the good times and when life gets difficult all you can do is take it on the chin and move on.

Worrying about anything you cannot control just steals your joy and spoils your day.

Life’s too short.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are and most of all enjoy every minute because the years all go by in the blink of an eye. So don’t die before you’ve lived.

And always make time for friends and loved ones. Without them, you have nothing at all.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find this article interesting and useful?

If you did, please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share it now. If you do I’ll be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

65 facts about life that few people ever mention

03/17/2025 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for facts about life, dear reader, this post is for you. Here are some facts that rarely, if ever, get a mention.

Some people will argue that this list is subjective. However, in my experience, the facts I offer you today are all true.

Take a look at them all and see what you think. And please feel free to pass them on.

Facts about life (1-20):

There’s no such thing as easy money.
If you don’t go for it, you won’t get it.
You cannot debate with those who despise you.
Your opinion is just as valid as the next person’s.
In wanting to appeal to everyone, you’ll appeal to no one.
Sometimes, the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.
You’ll be remembered not for what you got but for what you gave.
Create your own job, and you’ll never be threatened by layoffs again.
Life’s tough for everyone, and for many people, it’s very tough indeed.
Free speech is the right to express opinions to which others may object.
Rarely do people appreciate what they have until they no longer have it.
If a lie is repeated often enough, eventually it becomes accepted as the truth.
Just because it matters to you, it doesn’t mean it must matter to me, too.
People should be judged by their character and the contribution they make.
The public will get what it tolerates. An easy life comes at a significant price.
We live on in the hearts we touched and within the people for whom we mattered.
You don’t decide your future. You make choices, and your choices decide your future.
By definition, a fact is a fact, and ignoring a fact doesn’t mean it ceases to exist.
You won’t find true happiness in material things. Happiness lies in love and laughter.
Blessed are the young, and those not born yet, for they shall inherit the national debt.

Facts about life (21-35):

The unquestioning acceptance of fashionable dogma is not the mark of great intellect.
To believe is to accept unquestionably as fact that which cannot be demonstrated to be fact.
People will believe what they want to believe, regardless of whether they can be sure it’s true.
People who demand tolerance from others are frequently the most intolerant themselves.
You’ll be judged not on what you say but on what you do. Talk is cheap, but only results matter.
We’re not defined by the circumstances into which we were born. Life can be better if we make it so.
Your years on this earth will teach you far more than you could learn in any university or college.
All good ideas are eventually infiltrated and ruined by the attention-seeking few with their own agenda.
In the po-faced, new-puritanical era in which we now live, we’re losing the ability to laugh at ourselves.
With gambling, there’s only one winner consistently, and that’s the casino. That’s why they’re in business.
It doesn’t matter what you do or how well you do it, there’ll always be someone who will criticise you.
Success is enjoying what you do while having sufficient money to live your preferred lifestyle comfortably.
Being too nice is not virtuous; it’s naive, bordering on foolishness, and it creates more problems than it solves.
As long as we’re not hurting anyone else, then how we choose to live our lives is no one’s business but our own.
If something cannot be subjected to scrutiny and criticism, then it’s probably not a good idea in the first place.

Facts about life (36-45):

People will always have problems in need of solutions. If you can be that solution, you can make a good living.
When your opinions run counter to the fashionable dogma of the day, you’re unlikely to get a fair hearing in the media.
Past wrongs cannot be righted. All we can do is learn from any mistakes made and endeavour to do better next time.
No job is more important than being a good parent because parents nurture the next generation, and children are the future.
A promotion at work is not a reward for what you’ve done in the past; it’s an opportunity to show what you can do in the future.
When everything’s going well and you’re feeling like you can do no wrong, think twice. You’re more vulnerable than you realise.
We live in a world of Orwellian ‘newspeak’ where we’re expected to accept as fact that which everyone knows is complete nonsense.
The world is full of Charlatans and con artists, all claiming to know what’s best for the rest of us. They should all be challenged constantly.
Having a fancy job title doesn’t mean you’re more important than someone else. A job is just a job, and we all add value in our own way.
We have to deal with reality as it is and not how we like it to be. So, we must protect ourselves and our interests because no one will do it for us.

Facts about life (46-54):

Extreme political movements are usually a lot of useful idiots led by a few sinister people with an agenda that’s in no one’s interests but theirs.
We’ll keep making the same mistake until we learn the lesson the mistake was intended to teach us. Life is a classroom, and the lessons never stop.
A question asked comes with no obligation to provide anything other than a polite response. Remember that should you ever be grilled by the media.
Remaining loyal to the circumstances into which you were born is not a noble act. Just because you were born poor doesn’t mean you have to remain poor.
We live in an age when a lack of knowledge or expertise doesn’t mean people will not have an opinion on a given issue that they expect to be taken seriously.
It’s for us to give our lives meaning. To leave a legacy by doing something that’ll add a little value to the lives of others and make the world a slightly better place.
If you don’t tend to your own garden regularly, it will be quickly attacked by noxious weeds. Life’s like that too. We must all take good care of that which is precious to us.
An employer will replace you in a heartbeat, should you pass away, but to your loved ones you can never be replaced. That should tell you where your priority should be.
History serves as a series of lessons to us all. We cannot be selective about what we include in our history, otherwise, we risk forgetting the lessons and making the same mistakes again.

Facts about life (55-60):

Drawing attention to injustices, wherever they are, really can make a difference. So don’t be afraid to call out those who seek to harm others for doing nothing other than expressing an opinion.
To remain silent is to be irrelevant. A quiet life will come at a cost to you. The cost is people with louder voices moving the world in a direction you may not like. Speak up or live with the consequences.
In a totalitarian world dissenting voices must be crushed ruthlessly or they might influence others to express dissent too. Political ideologues demand subservience and dogma accepted without question.
If your job can be done from anywhere, then someone anywhere can do your job? So, if a company is looking to reduce costs, in order to increase their profits, jobs will be moved to wherever in the world labour is cheapest.
Extreme ideology can pass into the mainstream and take hold if we’re all too complacent to stay on top of what’s going on. If we’re asleep at the wheel, life can quickly become a car crash and we’ll only have ourselves to blame.
If we judge previous generations through the prism of modern sensibilities, they’ll always look bad. They lived in their time and we live in ours. We cannot know what their lives were really like, so we cannot judge them fairly, nor should we try.

Facts about life (61-65):

It doesn’t matter how good a job you do, others will take credit for your contribution long after you’ve gone, but you’ll be the person responsible for any problems, regardless of whether you actually had anything to do with any of them or not.
Celebrities are nothing more than skilled media manipulators who profit from the public’s gullibility by constantly maintaining an image with the aim of creating the illusion that they’re something special when in fact they’re nothing special at all.
The problem with social media today is that far too many people feel the need to express opinions consistent with the latest fashionable dogma currently trending regardless of whether they actually have any significant knowledge of the subject at all.
Unless your ambition is to secure a job for which having a degree is mandatory, then you’re probably wasting three years of your life and $75,000 of debt by going to university nowadays. You’re unlikely to get a return on the debt you incur, so consider your options carefully.
They say that those with the gold make the rules. Well, if you’re not being served in the way you feel you should be, then whoever’s providing you with that service can be reminded of the purchasing power you hold in your hands by a simple boycott. You don’t have to accept the unacceptable.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find these facts about life interesting and useful, dear reader?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you do I’ll be forever grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

facts about life, facts about life, facts about life, facts about life

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: Achievement, being the best, facts about life, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Philosophy, Sage Advice, Stress-free, Success, Wisdom

21 silly jokes guaranteed to make your kids smile

03/14/2025 by Roy Sutton

Kids love silly jokes, and quite a few adults do too, including me. Whenever I hear silly jokes, I always make a note of them in my journal. Well, they’re always useful for breaking the ice at dinner parties, if nothing else.

Anyway, today I thought I’d trawl through my journal and put together a collection of some of the best silly jokes just for you, dear reader. I hope you enjoy them all.

Certainly, I did, both the first time around and on reviewing them now.

Yes, they’re all very silly but they’re guaranteed to make your kids smile.

Silly Jokes:

Why did the ant elope?
Nobody gnu

Why do skunks argue?
They like to kick up a stink

How do you arrest a pig?
Put it in ham cuffs

Why do horses look sad?
They have long faces

Why do coyotes call at night?
The rates are cheaper

What animal never gets wet?
An umbrellephant

What makes a chicken blush?
Henbarrassment

In what key does a cow sing?
Beef flat

Why don’t anteaters get sick?
They’re full of antibodies

How do rodents keep their breath fresh?
Using mousewash

What did the parrot say to the spaniel?
I’m a cocker too

How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, Hubble, Hubble

Why are giraffes brave?
Because they’re always sticking their next out

How many skunks does it take to stink out a room?
A phew

How does a dolphin make a decision?
Flipper coin

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
You get a buzzy tone

What’s even better than the cat’s whiskers?
The bee’s knees

What happened when two American stoats got married?
They became the United Stoats of America

What do you get from a chicken who’s been drinking whisky?
Scotch eggs

What’s goes through a fly’s mind on impact with your windscreen?
Its ass

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these silly jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

silly jokes, silly jokes, silly jokes, silly jokes

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, Cheesy Jokes, fun, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Life, Silly Jokes, smile, Stress-free

25 silly jokes that are laugh out loud funny

03/11/2025 by Roy Sutton

Here’s another batch of short and silly but laugh out loud funny jokes just for you, dear reader.

Laughter is the best medicine, and we all need laugh out loud funny jokes to brighten our challenging lives.

So grab a coffee and take a few moments to enjoy these laugh out loud funny jokes right now.

I hope they give you a few minutes of pleasure to brighten your day.

Laugh out loud funny:

If I’m nobody;
And nobody’s perfect;
Then I must be perfect.

Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.

How do you befriend a squirrel?
Act like a nut.

Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
Because they kept dropping their trunks.

What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
A chilly dog.

What do call you a row of bunnies moving backwards?
A receding hare line.

Why was the paediatrician always losing his temper?
Because he had little patients.

What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel it’s good enough?
Impasta syndrome.

Would you like to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.
I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
He cried and gave me a big hug.

My wife was complaining that I never take her anywhere expensive.
So I said, “Come on, get in the car; we’re going to the gas station.”

They say 40 is the new 30
But try telling that to a traffic cop.

Relationships are like algebra.
You look at your X and wonder Y.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
BREATH!

What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.

You could say it was an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tears.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.

A guy assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter.
How dairy.

My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim’s improving.

I own a pencil once owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

People didn’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
So I decided to raise the bar.

The World Tongue-Twister Champion was up before the judge in court.
I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.

I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It’s a complex complex complex.

I hate insects puns.
They really bug me.

I’ve been trying to lose weight.
But it keeps finding me.

Please share this post:

So did these rib-tickling jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Articles you might enjoy:

laugh out loud funny, laugh out loud funny, laugh out loud funny, laugh out loud funny

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, humor, humour, Influencers, Inspiration, jokes, Laugh, laugh out loud funny, Life, LOL, Meaning, smile, Stress-free

19 funny jokes to tell your friends

02/06/2025 by Roy Sutton

Today I thought you might appreciate some funny jokes to tell your friends.

You’ll always have friends if you can entertain people and tell a joke or two. We all love to laugh, and someone amusing is immediately likeable. So, to be likeable, always have a few jokes in your back pocket.

If you want to make your friends smile, here are 19 funny jokes to tell your friends. Enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Funny jokes to tell your friends (1-10)

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was too tired.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

What kind of tree will fit into your hand? A palm tree.

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

How do you kill a circus clown? You go for the juggler.

Where do cows go on a Saturday night? To the moo-vies.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He just pasta way.

I used to work in a shoe recycling factory, but it was sole destroying.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m about to change.

Funny jokes to tell your friends (11-19)

I married Miss Right. It was only later that I realized her first name was Always.

My wife told me that I must stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

What is grammar? It’s the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Why did the girl get hit by a bike every day? Because she was stuck in a vicious cycle.

A Hot Dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve food here.”

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

A thief broke into my house the other night searching for money. He woke me up, so I thought I might as well help him search for it, even though I wasn’t optimistic we’d find anything.

A cop pulls a guy over and says, “Your eyes are awfully red, have you been drinking?” To which the guy responds, “Well, your eyes are awfully glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

WIFE: Pack your bags; I’ve won the lottery. HUSBAND: Oh, wow! Are we going on holiday? WIFE: No! You’re leaving! I’ve won the lottery!

Please share this post:

So, dear reader, did you enjoy these funny jokes to tell your friends? Were they as good as you’d hoped? Were they worth a few minutes of your time?

I hope so. If they did make you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, just click on the links below.

Articles you might enjoy:

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, funny jokes, funny jokes to tell your friends, good jokes, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Really funny jokes, seriously funny jokes, smile, Stress-free

35 brilliant one-liners that will make you smile

02/04/2025 by Roy Sutton

Whenever I share funny one-liners with readers, the posts are always popular. So it seemed like a good idea to collect a few more for you.

I’ve been collecting a lot more one-liners of late, so I thought it was time I shared them with you, dear reader.

Well, if they’re popular with readers, why wouldn’t I?

Today I am sharing what I think are 35 brilliant one-liners. They all made me smile, and I hope at least one or two of them will make you smile too.

I must confess that though I’ve collected these from various sources, I haven’t been able to identify the original authors. So they’re all classified as Author Unknown.

However, I would be happy to add acknowledgements to individual quotes if readers can enlighten me accordingly.

In the meantime, I hope these 35 brilliant one-liners will brighten your day.

Brilliant one-liners (1-10):

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
It’s a day for firm decisions! Or is it?
Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
I want patience. AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
Always give 100 % unless you’re donating blood.
I started with nothing, and I’ve still got most of it.
All those who believe in telekinesis raise my hand.
I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Brilliant one-liners (11-20):

A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Did you hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra?
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxis.
I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
Being a hypochondriac will save my life one of these days.
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
Dogs will never make good dancers because they all have two left feet.
I’ve just written a new book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Brilliant one-liners (21-30):

I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
The first time I got a universal remote control I thought, “This changes everything!”
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
I sent my photograph to a Lonely-Hearts Club. They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
I asked my wife whether she was willing to embrace her mistakes. She said, “I married you didn’t I!”
You know you’re in a crazy church when the only tune the organist knows is ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’.
I was going to ask God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Brilliant one-liners (31-35):

I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job but when I got home all the signs were there.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? She’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
Did you hear about the guy who suffered from paranoia and low self-esteem? He thought no one important was out to get him.
I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. “How flexible are you?” he inquired. I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.”
I once dated a girl with a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was easy really. Jill painted her nails purple and Bob had a beard.

If you enjoyed them, please share:

If you enjoyed these brilliant one-liners, dear reader, please share this blog post on social media with your friends.

Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

So go on, please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’ll be ever so grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, Black Humor, Brilliant one-liners, fun, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Life, one-liners, smile, Stress-free

22 bad puns that are so bad they’re funny

01/19/2025 by Roy Sutton

If you’re searching for bad puns, this post is for you.

I love puns, as you may have seen in some previous blog posts. The clever use of words always makes me smile. Whether they’re good puns or bad puns, they usually make me laugh.

Today my focus is on bad puns for a change.

So, here are 22 bad puns that reflect on why so many professionals never die.

I hope they brighten your day or, at least, don’t make you groan too much.

Enjoy them all now.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Bad Puns:

Old owls never die they just don’t give a hoot.
Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.
Old sculptors never die they just lose their marbles.
Old professors never die they just lose their class.
Old limbo dancers never die they just go under.
Old chemists never die they just fail to react.
Old mathematicians never die they just disintegrate.
Old investors never die they just roll over.
Old printers never die they’re just not the type.
Old sanitation engineers never die they’re just dumped.
Old police officers never die they just cop out.
Old bankers never die they just lose interest.
Old sewage workers never die they just waste away.
Old electricians never die they just lose contact.
Old accountants never die they just lose their figures.
Old photographers never die they just stop developing.
Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
Old tailors never die they just get stitched up.
Old chauffeurs never die they just lose their drive.
Old quarterbacks never die they just pass away.
Old cleaners never die they just kick the bucket.
Old cooks never die they just get deranged.

Can you add another one?

On the theme of old professionals never dying, can you add another one to this list?

Maybe you could make one up and entertain our readers? Perhaps a pun related to your profession or hobby? I’ll bet you can, dear reader.

Go on, have a go at writing one of your own, and send it to me via the Contact Page.

The page will then be updated and you’ll get a full acknowledgement on this post for your contribution

I’m confident readers will have lots of great ideas. So go on, let me have them now.

Please share with your friends on social media:

I hope these bad puns made you laugh, dear reader.

However, perhaps you feel that you could use another laugh. If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, then please share it with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Your support is appreciated. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, bad puns, fun, funny, humor, humour, Life, Meaning, Puns, quotes, smile, Stress-free

The secret to success:

The Power of Personal Responsibility

Please share this post with your friends:

Other articles that might appeal to you:

How to become rich:

What is work?

Serving the many:

The value of the IPR:

Build your own business:

The message here:

Please share this post with your friends:

Other articles you might find interesting:

Cheesy jokes:

Please share this post with your friends:

Articles you might enjoy:

Personal philosophy explained:

A simple philosophy:

Work on improving what you have to offer:

Income comes from serving other people:

Become financially independent:

Master the game of life:

Never lose sight of your own interests:

Don’t let life steal your joy:

Please share this post with your friends:

Other articles you might find interesting:

Facts about life (1-20):

Facts about life (21-35):

Facts about life (36-45):

Facts about life (46-54):

Facts about life (55-60):

Facts about life (61-65):

Please share this post with your friends:

Articles you might enjoy:

Silly Jokes:

Please share this post with your friends:

Articles you might enjoy:

Laugh out loud funny:

Please share this post:

Articles you might enjoy:

Funny jokes to tell your friends (1-10)

Funny jokes to tell your friends (11-19)

Please share this post:

Articles you might enjoy:

Brilliant one-liners (1-10):

Brilliant one-liners (11-20):

Brilliant one-liners (21-30):

Brilliant one-liners (31-35):

If you enjoyed them, please share:

Articles you might enjoy:

Bad Puns:

Can you add another one?

Please share with your friends on social media:

Articles you might enjoy:

Recent Posts

Archives