Roy Sutton

40 funny quick jokes you’ll just love

02/03/2024 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for some funny quick jokes then take a look at the 40 I’ve put together for you today. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of laughs here.

Enjoy them all.

And feel free to pass them on.

Funny quick jokes (1-10):

I quit my job making soles for shoes. It was a bit of a treadmill.
Jane and Bill were getting divorced. Naturally, they split the house. Bill got the outside.
Bob’s wife opened the car door for him. He’d have considered it a nice gesture if they’d not been travelling at 70 mph.
If I win the lottery, I promise you that no one around me will be poor. I’ll move to a wealthy neighbourhood.
A Mexican magician said he’d disappear at the count of three. Uno … dos, then poof! He disappeared without a tres.
A male fly notices an attractive female fly lounging on a pile of cow manure. In an attempt to impress her, the male fly said, “Excuse me, beautiful, is that stool taken?”
A woman was up in court for attacking her boyfriend with two guitars. “First offender?” The judge inquired. “No, your honour,” said her counsel, “the first was a Gibson. The second was a Fender.”
I hate it when people’s grammar is so poor that they mix up there, their and they’re. So now I just tell them, weather they like it or not.
What have I learned from studying cows, buffalos, and elephants? Well, for a start, it’s impossible to reduce weight just by eating grass, salads, and walking.
I found something in my wardrobe that I hadn’t worn since graduation. Amazingly, it still fits me. Well, it was only my college scarf, but I like to look for the positives.

Funny quick jokes (11-20):

Are donuts classified as hole food?
Plagiarism is just getting into trouble for something you didn’t do.
When I was young, I was poor. However, after years of hard but honest work, I’m no longer young.
I went for my annual physical, and my physician said, “Don’t eat anything fatty.” I said, “You mean like burgers, bacon, that sort of thing?” To which he responded, “No fatty, don’t eat anything.”
My son came home and said there would be a small get-together at his school tomorrow. “How small?” I asked. “Well,” he responded, “it’s just you, me, and the principal.”
Was it just me, growing up, or did anyone else believe that Hugh Rynal invented the public convenience?
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from that broom. Husband: Why didn’t you just use the car?
I’ve been fired from my job as a masseur. My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way.
I went to see a psychiatrist today, and she told me I had a split personality. Then she charged me $160. So, I gave her $80 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot.
If a runner was accidentally shot with a starting pistol, would that be classified as race-related?

Funny quick jokes (21-30):

If you need an ark, then I Noah guy.
How can a door be a door if it’s ajar?
Avoid dangerous cults. Practise safe sects.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
To some people, marriage is a word, to others, it’s a sentence.
I’ve heard that the company that makes yardsticks is not making them any longer.
Did you know that before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home?
If a cow doesn’t produce milk, does that make it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m told that it’s not a good idea to play tennis with a cymbal. It makes a terrible racket.
A farmer was milking his best cow and had a good rhythm going when suddenly a fly flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it until suddenly the fly squirted out into the bucket. He then realised that the cow had gone in one ear and out the udder.

Funny quick jokes (31-40):

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B Back.
If I drink holy water with a laxative, would that start a religious movement?
Believe it or not, my friend speaks to his garden. Yes, Jack and the Beans talk.
There’s one thing you can be sure of, laxatives will give you a good run for your money.
Have you heard about the guy who fell into a glass lens-making machine and made a spectacle of himself?
As I was getting ready for bed, she said, “You’re drunk!” So I said, “How do you know?” And she said, “Because you live next door.”
A guy walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees and gives them to him. “Surely that’s too many,” says the guy. “No,” says the clerk. “I’ve given you a freebie.”
I pulled out a nose hair today to see if it hurt. Judging by the reaction of the guy asleep next to me on the bus, it must have been very painful.
I saw a guy stacking shelves at Walmart complaining because the top shelf was broken and he couldn’t keep it up. He told me he had wrecked aisle dysfunction.
The difference in meaning between the words ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished’ can be somewhat unclear. Fortunately at a linguistic conference recently a speaker offered some clarity when he said, “When a man marries the right woman he will be complete. If he marries the wrong woman he will be finished. And should the right woman catch him fooling around with the wrong woman, he will be completely finished.”

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I hope you enjoyed these funny quick jokes, dear reader, and I hope at least some of them made you laugh.

Perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, please click on the links below.

And if you did enjoy this post then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, surely everyone’s a winner?

Your support is truly appreciated.

Thank you.

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How much money is enough?

02/02/2024 by Roy Sutton

Introduction:

You may feel you would like more money in your pocket, but have you ever asked yourself the philosophical question, “How much money is enough?”

If you ask a billionaire, the response is likely to be that no amount is enough. Let’s face it, they become billionaires because they’re constantly driven to make money.

However, other people might modestly settle for, say, $1 million.

People who are a little more thoughtful might give you a different number, somewhere between the two extremes, possibly.

The cost of chasing money:

We all need money, and we all want a decent standard of living.

However, always remember that there is a cost to chasing money. And that cost, among other things, is the impact it has on your time.

We can get more money, but we can never get more time. We all get 168 hours each week, and that’s it.

So, there comes a point where there might be a better way to spend your time than to chase more money.

And you’ll never know if you’ve reached that point if you don’t define it.

Achieving happiness:

Studies have shown that happiness doesn’t increase beyond an income of around $70-80k per year.

That might seem modest, but it’s probably a comfortable living in most parts of the country.

However, it’s not enough to drive a new Mercedes every three years and vacation in Europe with the family every summer.

It would be tough to send your child to Harvard on a $70,000 salary.

So, ask yourself, How much is enough?

The answer is that it all depends on you and your circumstances.

Factors to consider:

To consider how much you need to live fully, think about the following:

1. Age

How old are you?

How much longer can you reasonably expect to live?

If you’re 90, you probably require less money for the rest of your life than people in their 20s and 30s.

There are actuarial tables that can tell you how much longer you’re expected to live. However, you should plan to live longer than expected!

You will find an example of actuarial tables HERE and you might find this useful.

2. Expenses

How much are your monthly expenses?

What would your expenses be if you were living the life of your dreams?

Let your imagination run wild. What expenses would you have?

A new bowling ball each year or a second house in Vail, Colorado? A housekeeper? A thoroughbred racehorse?

It’s your life. Determine how much it would take to finance what you think is your ideal life.

3. Dependents

Who are you responsible for?

Do you have three children who will attend college in the next 10 years?

Do you have a spouse who doesn’t work?

Do you care for an ageing parent or parents?

For how long do you expect to have responsibility for financially providing for others?

Ultimately, you must consider every potential demand on your wallet or purse.

4. Debt

What is your current debt situation?

Do you have 20 years left on a mortgage hanging over your head?

Significant medical bills?

Credit card debt to repay?

Debt must be financed, and repayments must be made. So, you can’t ignore debt.

5. Retirement

None of us can go on forever. At some point, we must all take life at a slower pace.

So, when would you like to retire, and how much do you need each month to live comfortably?

How would you like to spend your retirement?

Do you want to travel regularly?

Play golf every day?

How much would a typical month in your ideal lifestyle retirement cost?

6. Lifestyle

What toys do you want to own? And by that, I mean serious toys.

A plane? A Porsche? A boat? A holiday home in Aspen or Tuscany? Swimming pool? Motorcycle?

If they give you pleasure, then it’s reasonable to work towards owning them

Then again, maybe you value your free time above all else and would be happy living a simple life with a Labrador retriever and a large vegetable garden, reading books all afternoon.

The choice is yours. Equally, you can go as far as your imagination will take you.

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For everyone, it’s different:

There are no right or wrong answers to the question, “How much money is enough?“

Everything depends on your desires and circumstances.

The number for you might be quite small or very high.

It’s just your number. It’s personal, that’s all.

If you’ve never considered how much money you need, then take the time to think about it.

Money in perspective:

Having money and financial freedom is great for a couple of things, in particular solving problems and providing choices.

However, beyond that, it has limited value.

Certainly, it’s a mistake to use money to establish status. Worrying about impressing your peer group should be left to teenagers.

Needing money for the wrong things is limiting. It requires working longer and harder than necessary.

You could be doing other things with your limited time on Earth.

Conclusion:

Think long and hard about what is most important to you.

Ensure that you develop an income, savings, and net worth to acquire the possessions and freedom that will allow you to live your life the way you desire.

Spend time addressing this important issue, and you might be able to quit working sooner than you think.

However, have money in your head but never in your heart.

And never let your pursuit of money prevent you from spending time with family and friends.

A lonely old age would be a heavy price to pay for wealth creation.

There is little point in being the richest person in the graveyard with no one to mark your passing.

And never, ever forget to spend at least some of your time enjoying yourself. As we say where I come from, you’ll be a long time dead!

About the author:

Roy Sutton is an experienced blogger whose main website has generated more than 350,000 page views per month. Before becoming a blogger, he was a businessman and CEO of a national telecom operator and had a professional background in telecom systems and information technology.

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Filed Under: Money Tagged With: How much money is enough, Inspiration, Life, Lifestyle, money, Money-making

9 short jokes anyone can remember

02/01/2024 by Roy Sutton

Looking for some short jokes anyone can remember, dear reader? Well, I’ve got 9 little gems here for you today. Enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

1. Eye-catching:

A guy walks into a hotel restaurant, and, as he’s being seated, he notices a very attractive woman at the next table.

Suddenly she sneezes, and, to his surprise, a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket.

It’s flying past the guy but he catches it and politely hands it back to the lady.

“Oh, my goodness,” says the lady, “this is so embarrassing.”

As she’s popping her eye back in place, she gradually regains her composure, and then she says, “I’m so sorry to have disturbed you, but I really appreciate your help. Why don’t you join me, and I’ll buy you dinner to make it up to you?”

The guy nods in agreement and he joins her at her table.

Despite her glass eye, the woman is stunningly attractive and a great conversationalist. The guy is having a wonderful evening and, as they chat, it’s obvious they have a lot in common.

Naturally, he gets her phone number and then says, “Mam, I have to say, you’re the most charming woman I’ve ever met. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”

“No, not really,” the woman replies. “You just happened to catch my eye.”

2. Vacuum cleaner salesman:

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on my door.

He scattered a load of dog muck all over my carpet and then said, “Show me where I can plug in and if this vacuum cleaner doesn’t suck up every last dog dropping right now then I’ll eat the rest.”

I smiled and said, “Well, I hope you’re hungry because my electricity has just been cut off.”

3. Marital problems:

A guy’s sitting at the counter in a Manhattan bar looking miserable and staring into his beer.

“Are you alright buddy?” asks the bartender. “What’s the problem?”

The guy looks up from his drink and says, “Oh, my wife and I got into a fight and she said she wouldn’t be speaking to me for a month.”

In an attempt to be encouraging the bartender says, “Hey, come on now buddy, think positive. At least you’ll get some peace for a while.”

“Yeah, I know,” the guy responds, “but today’s the last day.”

4. The taxi ride:

Three buddies staggered out of a bar late one night, all well and truly sozzled. However, they did manage to hail a taxi and in they all climbed.

The taxi driver could see that they were all absolutely hammered and decided it was a situation he could use to his advantage. So he started the engine, waited a few minutes without moving and then turned it off again.

“Right fellas, we’ve reached our destination,” said the taxi driver. “That’ll be $30.”

The first guy gave him the money.

The second guy said, “Thank you, driver.”

But the third guy slapped the driver across the face.

The taxi driver was shocked and thought perhaps the third guy knew what had happened. Nevertheless, he said, “What the hell was that for, buddy?”

“You were driving like a maniac and you could have killed us,” the third guy responded. “Control your speed next time.”

5. Wise woman:

Rick said to his wife, Liz, one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time.”

“Well, dear husband of mine, allow me to explain,” said Liz. “God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. And then God made me stupid, so I would be attracted to you!”

6. Lost property:

Jim is on his way home, and he’s driving behind an ambulance.

As he’s driving along, he notices a small metal box on the back step of the ambulance.

As the ambulance turns a corner the box suddenly falls off and lands on the side of the road.

Being a public-spirited individual, Jim pulls over and retrieves it.

When Jim opens the box there is a human toe inside packed in ice.

Well, Jim realises that the owner will need this appendage, so he phones the local hospital to explain the situation.

Jim gives them his location and then asks whether they’ll be sending an ambulance to collect it.

“No, there’s no need,” they said. “We’ll just send a toe truck.”

7. Little Johnny Joke:

Little Johnny was standing outside his local shopping mall when he was approached by a man.

“Son, I’m lost,” said the man. “Could you tell me how I get to the Post Office from here?”

“Sure, mister,” said Little Johnny. “Walk down to the end of this road and turn right. Then you’ll see it on your left.”

“Thank you, son,” said the man. “I’m the new minister at the church. If you come along on Sunday, I’ll tell you how you can get to Heaven.”

“How are you going to do that?” asks Little Johnny. “You didn’t even know the way to the Post Office.”

8. Three wishes:

Tom, Dick and Harry are ship-wrecked on a desert island when they stumble upon an old oil lamp.

Tom picks up the lamp and starts rubbing it.

Immediately a genie appears and grants each of them a wish.

Tom immediately says he’d like to be back home in New York.

Poof! Then Tom’s gone and on his way home.

Dick then says his wish is to be back home in New York too.

Poof! Then Dick’s gone and on his way home.

Looking at Harry, the genie says, “So, what’s your wish?”

Harry thinks momentarily and then says, “Jeez, it sure is lonely without my two buddies. I wish they were both back here.”

9. Waiting for the bus:

A woman is having a problem with her wardrobe door in her bedroom. Each time a bus passes her house the door falls off.

She calls a repairman and he arrives to fix it.

The repairman sees that the door has fallen off.

So he puts it back in place and he then says to the woman, “I’ll now step inside the wardrobe and I’ll wait until a bus passes to see exactly what happens. You just close the door on me.”

So she closes the door but, as she does so, her husband arrives home and he’s heard his wife in the bedroom talking with someone.

Naturally, he wants to know what’s going on.

So, he rushes upstairs, storms into the bedroom and opens the wardrobe door. He sees the repairman and says, “OK buddy, what the hell are you doing in there?”

“You might find this hard to believe,” says the repairman, “but I’m waiting for a bus.”

Please share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these short jokes anyone can remember, dear reader, and I hope they made you laugh.

Perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, please click on the links below.

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Your support is truly appreciated.

Thank you.

10 funny jokes guaranteed to have you howling with laughter

01/30/2024 by Roy Sutton

If you enjoy a good laugh then these funny jokes are just for you. These 10 funny jokes are guaranteed to make you laugh. So sit back, relax and enjoy them all.

And once you’ve enjoyed them, please feel free to pass them on.

Funny Jokes:

1. The Tiny Pianist:

A guy walks into a New York bar pushing a small suitcase on wheels.

He takes a seat at the bar and then he begins to open the suitcase carefully.

With the suitcase open, he takes out the tiniest piano you’ve ever seen and places it on the bar. The bartender watches him, a little puzzled.

The guy then reaches back into the suitcase and takes out a tiny man. This little man is no taller than ten inches high and the guy then seats him at the tiny piano.

The tiny man then begins to play a piece by Chopin on the piano in a way that is both enchanting and absolutely beautiful.

The bartender walks up to the guy and says “Gee, where did you get the tiny pianist? He’s brilliant.“

The guy puts his hand back into his suitcase again and pulls out an old magic lamp, which he then hands to the bartender.

He says to the bartender, “Here, rub this and make a wish.“

The bartender says, “Are you serious?”

The guy says, “Sure, go ahead.”

So the bartender rubs the lamp and says “I wish for a million bucks!“

There is a loud ‘poof’ sound before a million ducks start marching into the bar.

The bartender looks at the man and says, “Buddy, I think your magic lamp is broken.“

The guy looks at him, smiles then says, “Tell me something I don’t know. You don’t really think I asked for a 10-inch pianist do you?“

2. An engineer goes to Hell:

An engineer dies and suddenly finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates, in front of Saint Peter who’s holding a clipboard.

Saint Peter takes a few moments to review his list and then says to the engineer, “I’m sorry old boy but you’re not on the list. That means you’ll have to go down below I’m afraid.”

The engineer is a little disheartened but trudges off in search of the gates to Hell.

When he arrives in Hell he’s less than impressed. It’s hot, it’s smelly and it’s very miserable.

However, being an engineer, he’s very resourceful. So immediately he decides to take action to improve his situation.

He realises that if he’s to be comfortable he must do something about the heat. So he decides to install air conditioning. Once he gets that working, everything cools down quite quickly and it’s all a little bit more pleasant.

Installing the air conditioning proved to be thirsty work but there aren’t any cold drinks. So the engineer decides to install refrigeration and before you know it everyone in Hell is able to relax with a cold beer.

When he’s got everyone cool and the beer cold, the engineer realises they don’t have any entertainment. So he decides to install cable television. Before you know it they’re all enjoying hundreds of television channels.

Suddenly life in Hell is getting quite pleasant and the engineer is becoming a popular guy. Well, why wouldn’t he be? He’s constantly using his skills to make life better for everyone.

Anyway, one day, God has reason to phone the Devil. Needless to say, God can’t resist having a little fun at the Devil’s expense.

“So how’s it all going down there, Devil? Still hot and miserable?” says God.

To which the Devil replies, “Well actually things are great down here right now. Since you sent us that engineer we’ve been able to upgrade our facilities substantially.“

God is annoyed and cannot conceal his irritation, saying, “What? You’ve got an engineer? How did that happen? There’s always a place for engineers up here in Heaven, we need their skills. There must be some mistake”

Now it’s the Devil who feels he’s the one who can have a little fun and he responds with a laugh, “Well he’s here with us now and we’re pleased to have him.”

“Send him up here right now,” says God,

The Devil’s having none of it, and he responds, “No way! We’re keeping him. He’s far too useful to let go.“

God decides it’s time to apply a little pressure, so he says, “Look Devil, either you send him up here to me immediately or I’ll have no choice but to sue you!“

The Devil falls about laughing and says, “And where will you find a lawyer?“

3. The Bear and the Rabbit:

A bear was chasing a rabbit through the forest.

They ran into a clearing and the bear chased the rabbit around a giant redwood tree where, as luck would have it, a genie lived.

The genie got so tired of the noise they were making that finally he came out and told them both that he would grant them both three wishes if they’d just agree to go away and leave him in peace.

Naturally, the pair agreed. Who wouldn’t want three wishes after all?

So, the bear said he’d go first. “I wish from now on that every bear in this forest is both female and very, very horny.“

The genie granted him his wish.

The rabbit just grinned and simply asked for a motorcycle crash helmet.

The genie granted him his wish too. There was a ‘poof’ sound and then in the rabbit’s paw was a top of the range motorcycle crash helmet.

The bear was somewhat puzzled by the rabbit’s request but he continued nevertheless with his second wish. “I wish from now that on every bear in the whole country is both female and very, very horny!“

The genie granted the bear his second wish.

Again the rabbit grinned and then he said that his second wish was for a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

This wish was granted too and again there was a ‘poof’ sound and suddenly there in the forest stood a gleaming Harley Davidson.

The rabbit jumped on the Harley; put his helmet on and then started gunning the hog.

The bear looked at the rabbit, smiled and said, “You must be the dumbest rabbit I’ve ever met!“

It was time for the bear’s final wish, so he said, “I wish from now on that every bear in the whole world is both female and very, very horny!“

The genie granted him his third and final wish. “Rest assured”, the genie said to the bear, “every bear you will ever meet from now on will be both female and very, very horny.”

The bear looked very pleased with himself.

The genie then looked at the rabbit and said, “So, what’s your final wish?”

The rabbit laughed out loud and said, “I wish that from now on the bear is gay.“

With that, the rabbit gunned the hog and disappeared into the sunset.

4. The Taxidermist:

A guy walks into a redneck bar in Texas.

A couple of cross-eyed, local boys are playing Dueling Banjos on their guitars, guns in holsters by their sides.

Other mean-looking guys, similarly armed, are just sitting around, drinking and they start staring at the stranger in their midst. There’s tension in the air.

The bartender looks at the stranger and says, “What’ll it be, boy?”

The guy says, “I’ll have a white wine spritzer, please.”

The tension in the bar increases noticeably, the other customers are getting twitchy and hands start reaching for their guns.

The bartender looks at the stranger and says, “With a pussy drink like that I’m guessing you ain’t from around here are ya boy? Where ya from?“

The guy says, “Well actually, I’m from Iowa.“

The bartender frowns at him and says, “Iowa? And what the heck you do in Iowa boy?“

The guy tries to lighten the tension with a smile and then he says, “I’m a taxidermist?“

The bartender gives him a puzzled look and says, “You’re a taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist boy?“

Starting to feel a bit nervous, the guy responds, “I mount animals.“

The bartender grins and shouts out to everyone in the bar, “It’s okay boys, he’s one of us!“

5. Two accountants:

Two accountants go to their local bank during their lunch break.

They’re both standing in line when suddenly four masked and armed robbers burst in through the door.

One of the robbers yells, “Don’t anyone move. We’ve got guns and we’ll use them. Cooperate and you won’t get hurt.”

Two of the robbers then go to the counter with four very large but empty leather bags and one says to the tellers, “Fill these bags with cash and be quick about it.”

While the tellers nervously fill the bags with cash, the other two robbers line all the customers, including the two accountants, up against a wall.

One robber walks along the line waving his gun menacingly in their faces and he shouts, “Right I want your wallets, your cash, your watches, and any other valuables you’ve got and I want them all now. And if you don’t give me everything you’ve got I’ll shoot you dead!”

As this is all going on one accountant stuffs something into the hand of his colleague.

Without looking down, his colleague whispers, “What’s this?“

The accountant whispers back, “It’s that $50 I owe you.“

6. Escaped convict:

A convict escapes from Folsom State Prison where he’s been locked up for 15 Years. He’s on the run and in need of food, money and a gun. So he decides to break into a house, where he thinks he might find at least some of these things. Walking along an affluent street he spots a house that he thinks looks perfect.

He forces the back door open and steps inside. As he wanders through the house, he finds a young couple in bed. Naturally, they’re both very frightened.

He orders the naked woman out of bed and ties her to a chair.

He then ties her husband to the bed.

The convict then goes back to the woman and straddling her lap, he puts his head close to the woman’s ear and whispers something before kissing her on the cheek. He then stands up and goes into their bathroom.

While the convict is in the bathroom, the husband whispers over to his wife: “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he straddled your lap and kissed you on the cheek. He’s horny. Just do whatever he asks of you. You mustn’t resist and don’t complain. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously dangerous. If he gets angry, he could kill us both. So be strong, honey. I love you!”

There was a sigh of relief from the woman as she whispered back, “When he whispered in my ear, he told me he was gay and he said he thinks you’re really cute. He said he’s very horny and he wanted to know if we had any more condoms. I told him there were some in the bathroom cabinet. I knew you see reason, honey. You be strong. I love you too and I appreciate the sacrifice you’ll be making.”

7. Thick Nick:

Bill was a straight-A student at High School but 20 years later his career has been less than stellar.

Still, when he gets an invitation to a High School reunion he decides to go anyway.

Well, he figures he hasn’t seen any of his school buddies since those far off days and it might be fun at least to see how some of the class losers have gotten on since then. They might provide him with something to laugh at and feel good about himself.

When he arrives at the reunion the first guy he bumps into is Jack.

Now, this makes Bill a little bit apprehensive. Jack had been a friend of his at school but he’d also been voted the student most likely to succeed. So Bill figured that Jack must at least be the CEO of a large multinational corporate organization by now.

Well, Jack’s career too had not quite lived up to expectations either.

He’s now the manager of the local Credit Union. A decent job perhaps but hardly exceptional. Nevertheless, it leaves Bill feeling a little bit more relaxed. Maybe he hadn’t done so badly after all?

As Bill and Jack stand outside the entrance to their old High School, swapping stories about their lives since schooldays, suddenly a brand new Lamborghini Veneno roars into the parking lot.

This is $5 million worth of supercar and Bill and Jack are stunned. Who could this be? Surely it couldn’t be one of their old classmates?

As they stand there open-mouthed, the car door opens and out steps Nick.

Now had there been a vote at school for the student least likely to succeed then Nick would have won it by a country mile and then some. He really was thick, academically, and unsurprisingly his fellow students all knew him as ‘Thick Nick’.

Bill and Jack couldn’t understand how Nick is doing so well. So they engage him in conversation to find out more.

Jack says to him, “Hey Nick, that car’s awesome. How come you’re doing so well.”

Nick responds and says, “Well Jack, when I failed to graduate High School I couldn’t get a job after I left, so I started my own business.”

So Bill says, “Wow Nick, how come your business is so successful?”

Nick smiles and says, “Well I sell this really popular product which I can buy for $2 a pop and I can sell it for $5 a pop. And I can sell it by the truckload. You wouldn’t believe it. It’s amazing how much money you can make with a 3% mark-up.”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Nick may still be thick but lack of academic success at school is never a barrier to financial success in life. And academic success does not guarantee financial success either.

8. The Indian businessman:

An Indian businessman, Rajesh Bhatia, walks into a bank in the City of London and asks to see the Loans Officer.

Mr Bhatia explains that he’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and he needs to borrow £5000.

The Loans officer says that whilst it’s possible, the bank would need something substantial as security against the loan.

Mr Bhatia responds by saying he’d be happy to hand over the keys to his new Rolls Royce, which cost £250,000, as security against the loan.

“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Bhatia, “and I have all the necessary papers here.”

The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After which Mr Bhatia departs with his money, leaving the Loans officer, the bank’s manager and all their colleagues enjoying a good laugh at Mr Bhatia for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan.

One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later Mr Bhatia returns from Europe and repays the £5000 as well as the interest, which comes to £16.81.

As he prepares a receipt, the Loans Officer asks quizzically, “Sir, I must say, we’re all a little bit puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a very wealthy man and a multimillionaire. So why would you bother to borrow £5,000?“

Mr Bhatia replies, “Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £16.81?“

9. The rare centipede:

Whilst out hiking, a guy finds a rare but long and poisonous centipede.

The guy is amazed by what he’s found and naturally, he wants to show this rare creature to his drinking buddies. So he captures the centipede and places it carefully in a ventilated box.

Once he gets it home, the guy decides he wants to take the centipede to his local bar immediately. So he taps on the box and says, “Would you like to go to Jimmy’s Bar with me and have a beer?“

There’s no answer from the centipede.

The guy waits a few moments and then says, “What do you think? Would you like to go to my local bar and meet my buddies?“

Again, there’s no answer.

Thinking the centipede can’t hear him, the man gets right up close to the box this time and yells, “Hey! Would you like to go to Jimmy’s Bar and have a drink with me?“

A little voice comes out of the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m still putting my shoes on.“

10. Collision course:

The captain of a large US naval aircraft carrier is on the bridge when on his radar he spots what he believes to be another vessel, with which his ship is now on a collision course.

The captain immediately gets on his open channel radio and says, “This is the USS Pittsburgh and you’re on a collision course with this ship. You must take immediate action and change course.”

In response, the captain hears a man with a Spanish accent but speaking perfect English say, “No sir, I’m sorry but it’s your vessel that must change course.”

The captain is irritated by this response and says, “This is Captain James Munroe, captain of the USS Pittsburgh, the largest ship in the US fleet. You are a maritime hazard sir and I will report you to the authorities unless you change course now.”

There’s silence momentarily and then the captain hears the response, “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

Please share the fun:

I hope these funny jokes really made you laugh dear reader.

However, perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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45 Quotes by Napoleon Hill to inspire you to personal success

01/29/2024 by Roy Sutton

Although in modern times he’s become a more controversial figure, today I want to explore some quotes by Napoleon Hill. Regardless of any controversy, he’s a man whose written work I admire.

Oliver Napoleon Hill, to give him his full name, was an American self-help author. He is probably best known for his book Think and Grow Rich, which is among the 10 best-selling self-help books of all time and remains essential reading to this day, in my opinion.

Essentially, Napoleon Hill’s written work insists that impassioned expectations are essential to improving one’s life. That is, they suggest the need for a burning desire to improve one’s lot in life. Most of his books expound on these underlying principles for achieving success.

So let’s take a look at some of his many quotes. I found them inspiring, so I hope you will too.

Enjoy them all, and feel free to share them with your friends.

Quotes by Napoleon Hill (1-20):

You give before you get.
A goal is a dream with a deadline.
Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.
Money without brains is always dangerous.
Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.
Ideas are the beginning points of all fortunes.
The starting point of all achievement is desire.
There is no such thing as something for nothing.
Happiness is found in doing, not merely possessing.
Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.
If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.
If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.
What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.
Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work for which he is best suited.
No man can succeed in a line of endeavour that he does not like.
There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge.
All achievements, all earned riches, have their beginning in an idea.
It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project.
Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.

Quotes by Napoleon Hill (21-30):

Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.
You might well remember that nothing can bring you success but yourself.
Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought.
Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.
The man who does more than he is paid for will soon be paid for more than he does.
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.
It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.
More gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than has been taken from the earth.
You don’t have to fear defeat if you believe it may reveal powers that you didn’t know you possessed.
Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.

Quotes by Napoleon Hill (31-40):

The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going.
Wise men, when in doubt about whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent.
Nature cannot be tricked or cheated. She will give up to you the object of your struggles only after you have paid her price.
Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put this plan into action.
Until you have learned to be tolerant of those who do not always agree with you, you will be neither successful nor happy.
Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
Reduce your plan to writing. The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.
Until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.
The battle is all over except for the ‘shouting’ when one knows what is wanted and has made up his mind to get it, whatever the price may be.
Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.

Quotes by Napoleon Hill (41-45):

Until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire, you will be neither successful nor happy.
There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.
You can start right where you stand and apply the habit of going the extra mile by rendering more service and better service than you are now being paid for.
Success in its highest and noblest form calls for peace of mind and enjoyment and happiness which come only to the man who has found the work that he likes best.
It has always been my belief that a man should do his best, regardless of how much he receives for his services, the number of people he may be serving or the class of people served.

Think and Grow Rich:

Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich reveals the money-making secrets of hundreds of America’s most affluent people.

The underlying message in the book is that by thinking like them, you can become wealthy like them, and the book offers a 13-step program that will set you on the path to wealth and success.

According to Hill, the magic formula for making money never changes, and he has certainly inspired many people to pursue personal wealth successfully.

If you aim to become successful and wealthy, then I recommend you read Think and Grow Rich.

It’s still available, and you can check it out on Amazon HERE.

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How to turn enterprise into money and riches

01/28/2024 by Roy Sutton

Being poor is sh*t. ~Bob Geldof

The media personality and former rock star Bob Geldof’s communication style tends to be blunt and to the point. He’s not a man to sugarcoat his words, or so it seems. However, he does make an important point here.

People may tell you that money isn’t important, but next to oxygen, it’s essential for a life worth living. You couldn’t live long without it today.

Exactly how much money you need depends on your preferred lifestyle, of course. However, even for a fairly basic lifestyle, a reasonable income is necessary.

None of us want to be poor, of course. Fortunately, we don’t have to be. It’s possible to turn enterprise into money, and money into wealth and riches.

And what do I mean by enterprise? I mean your energy, your resourcefulness, your imagination, your know-how and skills, your ambition, and your determination to make life better for you and your loved ones.

Essentially, you can make your life better simply by making it better for other people.

What is work?

The key message today is that you don’t need to be employed by a commercial enterprise or corporation to earn money.

While being employed is one way to earn money, it’s also perfectly feasible to establish your own business and earn your living by being self-employed.

And in the age of the Internet, it’s never been easier to start a business, even if you have very little money to invest.

Remember also that you can start a business initially as a part-time side hustle while being employed until it’s generating enough income for that business to become your primary means of making a living.

And never forget, for most people, the only way you’ll ever get seriously rich is through your own business.

Certainly, unless you’re a Wall Street investment banker or a lawyer, you’re unlikely to get seriously rich being someone’s employee, trading your time for money.

The key to success in business

The key to success in your own business is to find a way to solve problems for people for profit. That’s the way to turn your enterprise into money. And it’s a lot easier than you might imagine.

Let’s face it, there’ll always be plenty of customers for products and services, some of which are yet to be invented.

People will always have problems, and they’ll always need solutions to those problems.

Remember, every product sold by a company is a solution to a problem, or at least it should be.

Turn enterprise into money

If you continually educate yourself on skills and know-how, then you can create wealth by seeking out customers for whom you can deliver solutions to their problems and/or provide them with services for which they have a need.

If you can satisfy those customers, then you’ll make money, and quite possibly a lot of money, if you can scale up that business as your customer base grows.

Manage your money wisely, and you can build your wealth too.

Determination, hard work, and an eye for problems to be solved are the main ingredients for business success. Your enterprise really can lead you to great wealth.

You don’t have to be poor

You don’t have to be poor unless you’ve given up and you’re just accepting that being poor is your lot in life. It’s not, and nor should it be.

You’re perfectly capable of generating your income, dear reader.

You just need to do stuff for other people and find a way to add value to their lives. In this case, adding value means solving problems or making their lives easier and/or better in some way.

Help yourself by helping others get what they need

It all comes down to your willingness to find a way to serve others. Simple!

There are opportunities there for you to take every single day of the week if you’re enterprising and ready to solve problems for other people. However, you do need to be fleet-footed.

The best time to start a business might have been last year, but the next best time is right now.

And age is no barrier to starting a business either. Remember, Colonel Sanders was 65 years old when he started KFC, and Ray Kroc was 52 when he started building the business we know as McDonald’s.

It can be done, and people do. Why not you? Go on, just go for it! Real riches can be yours.

Good luck!

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15 Quotes by Gandhi that will inspire you

01/27/2024 by Roy Sutton

Mahatma Gandhi was an inspiration to millions of people, and he was one of the most important figures of the 20th century. In fact, his philosophy continues to resonate with us even today.

So today I offer you 15 quotes by Gandhi, all of which, I am confident, will get you reflecting on life and its meaning.

Gandhi led a life consistent with his philosophy, and that is why he inspired so many generations, and it’s why he continues to do that now.

He was a role model in his day, and he remains a role model to us all now. Few people truly make their mark in life, but certainly Gandhi did.

Quotes by Gandhi:

The future depends on what you do today. ~Mahatma Gandhi
We will become who we are meant to become. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Whatever you believe about yourself on the inside is what you will manifest on the outside. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. ~Mahatma Gandhi
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. ~Mahatma Gandhi
It is my conviction that nothing enduring can be built on violence. ~Mahatma Gandhi
I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. ~Mahatma Gandhi
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. ~Mahatma Gandhi
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Any eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. ~Mahatma Gandhi
It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings. ~Mahatma Gandhi
An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. ~Mahatma Gandhi
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Finally, and in addition to his many inspiring quotes, Mahatma Gandhi is known for his fundamental rules for changing the world. So they are included here to help you make your mark in this life, dear reader.

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How to improve your life quality and have much more

01/26/2024 by Roy Sutton

How to improve your life quality? That’s a question we often ask ourselves when life does not quite meet our expectations.

Embarrassed by circumstances

Have you ever been embarrassed by your limited circumstances?

Consider a situation. Perhaps all your friends were going on a night out, but you couldn’t join them because you simply didn’t have the money.

You wanted to join them, of course, but wealth and financial freedom were nothing but a distant dream for you at the time.

Maybe you’ve not had that particular experience but something similar, possibly? The actual situation for you may have been different, but your sense of embarrassment will not have been any less painful and hard to bear, I’m sure.

In one of his audio programs, the late Jim Rohn tells a story about an event that drove him to take a very close look at his life.

A Girl Scout called at Jim’s house one day to sell Girl Scout Cookies as part of an annual fundraiser. In exchange for the cookies, all she asked for was just two dollars.

This was many years ago, of course, but even then, this was not a huge sum of money.

However, Jim’s problem at the time was that he didn’t even have two dollars to spare, so he was reduced to lying to the poor girl. At this point, wealth was something Jim had yet to encounter.

Money does matter

Now some people will tell you that money doesn’t matter, but it does. In our world today, you can’t live without money any longer than you can live without oxygen or water.

Exactly how much money you need depends on your preferred lifestyle, of course. If you don’t want much out of life, then you’ll get by on very little money.

However, most of us do want more out of life; hence, having at least a degree of wealth does matter.

Wealth and financial freedom

Put simply, wealth means financial freedom.

Financial freedom, in turn, means you can do what you want whenever you want without feeling constrained by your circumstances.

A worthy aim, therefore, is to decide what you want out of life and then start working towards building your wealth.

It all starts with change

Have you ever thought to yourself, I don’t want to live like this anymore?

Perhaps you’ve said to yourself, I want more out of life.

You want more, but the problem is that you have no idea how to change your circumstances, right? If you need a little help, then don’t worry, dear reader; you’re not alone.

However, one thing you must accept is that unless you change, nothing will change.

You must increase your value

Perhaps you look at your salary each month and think, How can I start building wealth when this is all the company pays?

If that’s how you think, then you’ll need to change your philosophy or the way you look at things.

The salary you get may be all the company pays you, but it’s for the value of the contribution you make.

There will be other people who are paid a lot more than you. They’re paid more than you quite simply because they’re considered to be more valuable than you to the company.

I’m not suggesting that you’re not valuable. You are valuable as a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, a friend, or even a colleague.

However, my point reflects your economic value to your employer.

It’s a fact that if you’re in a low-skilled job where there’s an oversupply of potential replacements for your services, then you won’t earn much. That’s simply the economics of supply and demand.

However, just because you’re not more valuable now doesn’t mean you can’t become more valuable.

You can increase your skills with a little effort on your part, and you can become more valuable. Become more valuable, and your income will rise.

So while your circumstances may be limited right now, they don’t have to remain that way.

You can work on yourself and improve yourself. It’s all about self-improvement and personal development.

Success can be yours

Success doesn’t just happen to people. No one just gets lucky.

If you asked the CEO of a multi-national corporation how he or she got to where he or she is today, the response is unlikely to be, “Well, I just showed up for work each day, and they just kept promoting me.”

No, people have worked very hard to get to a lofty position in life. You don’t get anywhere without hard work.

However, you attract success by the person you become, and you really can become more than you are now.

Jim Rohn suggested that profits are better than wages, and he had a point.

Every rags-to-riches story I’ve ever heard always involves someone’s own business. They started their own business, worked very hard, and one day they became very rich.

Build a business

Now you’re probably thinking, I don’t have the money to start my own business, and I can’t afford to give up my job on a whim.

That’s all true, I’m sure, but some people keep their job initially and start their own business as a part-time enterprise.

Jim Rohn himself built his success that way.

Jim began life in modest circumstances, but he went on to become a millionaire and one of the most influential thinkers of our time. And in case you’re wondering, no, he didn’t go to university.

It can be done; people do, and you can too.

Just make up your mind to start working on yourself.

Increase your value and look for opportunities to solve problems for people.

Solving problems is the basis for any business. Every product should solve a problem for consumers.

The psychology of wealth

There’s psychology linked to building wealth, and you would be wise to understand it.

In the embedded video included here, the late Jim Rohn explains the psychology of wealth and provides a lot of sensible advice.

Jim was a successful man by any measure, and it’s always worth listening to people who’ve achieved success. They know what they’re talking about because they’ve been there and done it.

He offers simple messages that are thought-provoking and powerful.

This video is well worth your time, and I recommend it to you. Watch it now while you have the chance.

Recommendations for your library

I think Jim Rohn was one of the best motivational speakers I’ve ever heard, and he’s been a big influence on me, that’s for sure.

He’s produced many books, videos, and audio programs over the years, and all of them would add real value to your library.

Two I can strongly recommend you add to your personal reference library are:

Book: Seven Strategies for Wealth & Happiness by Jim Rohn

Audio Program: The Art of Exceptional Living by Jim Rohn

I purchased both of these some time ago, and I still use them constantly as sources of inspiration and motivation.

The audio program is particularly useful, as I listen to it while driving. This means I can use my travel time profitably. Why listen to the radio when you could be listening and learning while you drive?

Purchasing these items represented money well spent for me, and I’ve found them enormously useful. I strongly recommend them to you.

Click on the links and check them out.

Even if you don’t buy them, they’re certainly worth considering. Go check out Jim Rohn’s books and audio programs now while they’re fresh in your mind.

Should you make a purchase, you will not regret buying them. I’m very confident in that.

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This website is an Amazon affiliate. Should you click on any of the links included in the text above and then make a purchase, you should be aware that this website will receive a small commission. However, there will be no additional charge to you for making that purchase. Nevertheless, these commissions do serve to cover the cost of maintaining this site, so you’ll be helping to ensure that this resource can remain available free of charge to readers. Your understanding is truly appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.

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15 Reasons to Choose SiteGround for Your WordPress Blog

01/25/2024 by Roy Sutton

INTRODUCTION:

SiteGround is a popular web hosting provider that offers high-performance, reliable hosting solutions for various types of websites.

Some of the reasons to choose SiteGround include:

Exceptional uptime,
Fast loading speeds,
Excellent customer support, and
Competitive pricing.

SiteGround also offers a range of features, such as:

SSL certificates,
Daily backups, and
A staging environment

This makes it a versatile choice for both beginners and experienced web developers.

Additionally, SiteGround has a strong reputation for its security measures, including daily malware scans and a web application firewall.

Overall, SiteGround is a reliable and secure web hosting provider that is well worth considering.

Affiliate Disclosure: This website is a SiteGround affiliate and will receive a small commission should you purchase a plan via one of the links. There will be no additional cost to you, but you will be helping to support this website. So, thank you.

Do you need more information? READ ON.

15 REASONS TO CHOOSE SITEGROUND FOR YOUR WORDPRESS BLOG:

1. Speed and Performance

SiteGround consistently ranks among the fastest WordPress hosting providers, thanks to their SSD storage, automated caching, and global CDN. This translates to lightning-fast loading times for your blog, keeping visitors engaged and improving SEO. SiteGround also has a strong track record of high uptime, ensuring that your WordPress blog remains accessible to your audience with minimal interruptions.

2. WordPress Optimized Hosting

SiteGround offers hosting plans specifically optimized for WordPress. From one-click WordPress installs and auto-updates to WP-CLI access and staging environments, SiteGround makes managing your WordPress blog a breeze. They take care of the technical aspects, letting you focus on creating content.

3. Free WordPress Installation and Migration

For beginners or those switching from another host, SiteGround offers free WordPress installation and a free site migration service, making the transition smooth and easy.

4. Expert WordPress Support

Their customer support team is known for its WordPress expertise. They provide fast and knowledgeable assistance, which is particularly beneficial for WordPress-specific issues.

5. Free CDN and Caching Tools

They include free CDN (Content Delivery Network) services and caching tools to improve the loading speed and performance of your WordPress site globally.

6. Enhanced Security

SiteGround takes website security seriously, offering features like automatic backups, security monitoring, and intrusion detection systems. They also provide free Let’s Encrypt SSL certificates for secure connections.

7. Scalability and Uptime

Whether you’re starting a small blog or have a high-traffic website, SiteGround offers various hosting plans to meet your needs. They also boast impressive uptime guarantees, ensuring your blog is always accessible to visitors. As your blog grows, you can upgrade your hosting plan to meet the increasing demands of your website.

8. User-Friendly Interface

SiteGround’s control panel is intuitive and easy to navigate, even for beginners. Managing your hosting account, installing WordPress, and setting up your blog is straightforward and user-friendly.

9. Developer-Friendly Tools

SiteGround offers tools and features that developers love, like Git access, WP-CLI, and staging environments. They also support advanced caching plugins and custom PHP configurations.

10. Daily Backups and Easy Restoration

They provide automatic daily backups of your website and easy restoration options, ensuring that your data is safe and can be quickly restored in case of any issues.

11. Staging Environment

SiteGround offers a staging tool that allows you to test changes and updates to your WordPress site in a secure environment before making them live, reducing the risk of errors on your actual site.

12. Excellent Customer Support

SiteGround is known for its responsive and helpful customer support team. You can reach them 24/7 via live chat, phone, or email, and they’ll be happy to assist you with any technical issues or questions.

13. Positive Reviews and Reputation

SiteGround enjoys a positive reputation in the hosting community, with numerous user reviews praising their speed, security, and customer service. This can provide peace of mind knowing you’re choosing a reliable provider.

14. Environmentally Conscious

SiteGround is committed to being an environmentally friendly company. They use renewable energy sources to power their data centres and offer carbon offset programs for customers who want to take their eco-friendly efforts further.

15. Value for Money

SiteGround’s hosting plans are competitively priced, offering great value for the features and performance they provide. You get your money’s worth with reliable hosting, excellent support, and advanced tools.

CHOOSING A PLAN:

HOW EASY IT IS TO SET UP A WORDPRESS WEBSITE WITH SITEGROUND?

If you’re still feeling unconvinced, dear reader, let me reassure you about the ease with which you will be able to set up a website on SiteGround. You don’t need to be afraid; it’s not hard to make a start. Let me explain.

SiteGround’s simplified 3-step installation process will install WordPress with a theme and the most common plugins in under 2 minutes, with almost no effort from your side. The custom-developed WordPress Starter plugin is available to all clients and is designed to help people take their first steps in the WordPress world like professionals.

Let’s walk together through the steps of setting up your website with SiteGround!

STEP 1: EASY WORDPRESS INSTALLATION

First, you’ll need to install the application for building your website, in this case, WordPress. When you log in for the first time in your client area, you’ll see a welcome message and a button labelled “SET UP WEBSITE” which will take you directly to the installation process.

In the next step, select Start New Website and WordPress as your application of choice.

Finish the installation process by choosing whether to add extra services, such as SG Site Scanner, which scans your website every day and alerts you immediately if your website has been hacked or compromised with malicious code.

At the end, click on Finish and wait while WordPress is being installed.

STEP 2: CHOOSE A THEME

Once the WordPress installation has finished, you will be prompted to use the WordPress Starter wizard. Simply click on Start Now. You can choose a theme from a wide selection of free SiteGround-curated, modern, and professionally designed themes.

Note that the theme will come with pre-filled sample content, enabled by the intuitive drag-and-drop page editor that SiteGround provides by default. This will help you easily visualize how the actual content would look like before you substitute it with your own website copy.

STEP 3: ADD PLUGINS TO EXPAND FUNCTIONALITY

Once you get the right design for your site, on the next step, you can add some useful plugins, such as:

Contact Form– so your website visitors have an easy way to contact you;
WooCommerce– transform your site into an online store;
Google analytics plugin– to help you monitor your website traffic;
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25 funny short jokes to brighten your day

01/24/2024 by Roy Sutton

Life can be tough for everyone, don’t you think?

It can be stressful at times too.

When life is getting you down, laughter is always the best medicine. In fact, laughter is always great medicine, regardless of how you’re feeling.

However, the problem can be finding the time to go in search of a laugh or two.

Well, don’t worry, dear reader, because I’ve done the work for you.

I’ve been digging around looking for funny short jokes that might just help readers relax a little.

So today I offer you 25 great funny short jokes that are guaranteed to brighten your day.

Well, perhaps not all of them. However, I’m confident that most of them will brighten your day.

They’re all quick to read, and if at least some of them don’t make you smile, then nothing will.

So take a few minutes for yourself and enjoy these funny short jokes right now.

Funny short jokes:

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive
They’d find me attractive by now

Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic

Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley
One was assaulted

What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller

My girlfriend accused me of cheating
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife

A man asked me for a donation towards the local swimming pool
So I gave him a glass of water

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage
I lost my case

What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner

If you give an alligator a GPS
Does that make it a navigator?

How do trees get online?
They just log in

What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell

Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because it’s always spotted

I don’t know what Armageddon means
So what? It’s not the end of the world

I’ve been told I’m condescending
(That means talking down to people)

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A Maybe

Why go to the paint store when you’re on a diet?
You can get thinner there

How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west

Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He’ll dessert you

What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies

What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purrpatrator

I went bobsleighing the other day
And I managed to kill 250 bobs

People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones
But people in Abu Dhabi do!

You may think it’s romantic to carve our names on this tree
But I have to ask, why did you bring a knife on our first date?

Please share the fun:

I hope you found these funny short jokes truly side-splitting, dear reader. Well, mildly amusing, at least.

However, perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh.

If so, please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today, then please share these jokes with all your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, Funny Short Jokes, humor, humour, jokes, Meaning, Philosophy, quotes, smile

Funny quick jokes (1-10):

Funny quick jokes (11-20):

Funny quick jokes (21-30):

Funny quick jokes (31-40):

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Introduction:

The cost of chasing money:

Achieving happiness:

Factors to consider:

1. Age

2. Expenses

3. Dependents

4. Debt

5. Retirement

6. Lifestyle

For everyone, it’s different:

Money in perspective:

Conclusion:

About the author:

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Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

1. Eye-catching:

2. Vacuum cleaner salesman:

3. Marital problems:

4. The taxi ride:

6. Lost property:

7. Little Johnny Joke:

8. Three wishes:

9. Waiting for the bus:

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Funny Jokes:

1. The Tiny Pianist:

2. An engineer goes to Hell:

3. The Bear and the Rabbit:

4. The Taxidermist:

6. Escaped convict:

7. Thick Nick:

8. The Indian businessman:

9. The rare centipede:

10. Collision course:

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Quotes by Napoleon Hill (1-20):

Quotes by Napoleon Hill (21-30):

Quotes by Napoleon Hill (31-40):

Quotes by Napoleon Hill (41-45):

Think and Grow Rich:

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What is work?

The key to success in business

Turn enterprise into money

You don’t have to be poor

Help yourself by helping others get what they need

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Quotes by Gandhi:

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Embarrassed by circumstances

Money does matter

Wealth and financial freedom

It all starts with change

You must increase your value

Success can be yours

Build a business

The psychology of wealth

Recommendations for your library

DISCLOSURE:

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