7 short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

12/13/2025 by

Do you like short story jokes? Those little yarns that go on for a while, only for the punchline to pop out of left field.  Today I have seven little gems which I hope will make you laugh.

Enjoy them all, and please, feel free to pass them on.

SHORT STORY JOKES
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Short story jokes:

1. The Dead Duck

A woman brings a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon.

As she lays her beloved pet duck on the table, the vet puts his stethoscope on the bird’s chest and listens carefully.

A moment later, the vet shakes his head and says sadly, “I’m really sorry mam, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.“

The woman becomes quite distressed and begins to cry.

“Are you sure?” she asks, tears flooding her eyes.

“Yes, mam, I am sure”, the vet responds. “Your duck is definitely dead.“

“But how can you be so sure?” the woman protests. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything, have you? Perhaps he’s just stunned or in a coma or something.”

The vet rolls his eyes, then turns around and leaves the room.

A few minutes later, he returns with a black Labrador retriever.

As the duck’s owner looks on in amazement, the Labrador stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examination table, and sniffs around the duck from top to bottom. He then looks up at the vet with sad eyes and shakes his head.

The vet pats the dog on the head and takes it out of the room.

A few minutes later, the vet returns with a cat. The cat jumps on the table and delicately sniffs at the bird from its head to its feet. After a moment, the cat looks up, shakes its head, meows softly and strolls out of the room.

The vet looks at the woman and says, “Look, mam, I’m really sorry, but as I said before, this is most definitely a duck that is no longer of this world. Your duck is dead.“

The vet then turns to his computer terminal, hits a few keys and produces a bill, which he hands to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, looks at the bill and sees it is $150.

“$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” she shrieks with incredulity

The vet shrugs his shoulders and says, “I’m sorry mam. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. However, with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.“

Phil Sutton

2. Never underestimate an old man

An elderly man had owned his large farm in Louisiana for many years.

Right at the back of the farm, there was a large pond that was ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.

One evening, the farmer decides to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn’t been down there for a while.

Before setting off, he grabs a five-gallon bucket as he decides he’ll bring back some fruit.

As he nears the pond, he can hear voices shouting and laughing with glee. Clearly, someone is having a good time.

As the farmer gets closer, he can see a bunch of young women who are clearly skinny-dipping in his pond.

He makes the women aware of his presence, and immediately they all swim over to the far end.

One of the women then shouts, “We’re not coming out until you leave, mister!“

The farmer replies, “Ladies, I didn’t come down here to watch you swim naked or make you get out of the pond. You carry on.“

The wily old-timer then holds up his bucket and says, “I just came down here to feed the alligators!“

Moral of the story: Never underestimate an old man.

3. Divine intervention:

For a weekend break, three old college buddies go down to Tijuana, Mexico, to enjoy a reunion.

Well, they hadn’t seen each other for quite a few years, so the stories were long, the laughs were loud, and the booze really did flow that night.

They had such a good time that they all woke up the following morning and found themselves in jail.

None of them could remember anything. However, within a couple of hours, they’re all sentenced to be executed the following day.

The following morning, they’re all escorted to death row, where Bill, the first of the group, is strapped into the electric chair. Then Bill is asked if he’d like to say any words.

“Sure,” Bill responds. “I’m from the Catholic University of America, and I believe in the power of almighty God. I am innocent, and God will intervene.”

The executioner throws the switch, but nothing happens.

Well, the prison staff can’t believe this turn of events. They beg Bill’s forgiveness and release him.

Next up for the chair is Gary. He’s strapped in, and once again he’s offered the opportunity to say something.

“Well, I’m from Harvard Law School,” says Gary, “and I believe that the power of natural justice will intervene because I’m innocent.”

Once again, the executioner throws the switch, but nothing happens.

Again, the prison staff can’t believe this turn of events. They beg Gary’s forgiveness and release him.

Finally, Mike’s strapped into the chair, and once again he’s offered the opportunity to say something.

“Well,” says Mike. “I have a PhD in Electrical Engineering from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and I can tell you now, you won’t be executing anyone if you don’t plug this thing in.”

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4. It’s only Rock & Roll:

Mary, an attractive lady of 85, was marrying for the fourth time.

Naturally, this was a human-interest story, and the local newspaper decided to send a reporter to interview Mary.

The reporter sat with Mary and asked, “Could you tell me about your husbands and how they earned their living?”

Mary smiled and said, “Well, my first husband was a banker, then I married a circus ringmaster, next was a preacher and now at 85, I’m marrying a funeral director.”

“Wow,” said the reporter, they’ve all had such diverse careers.”

“Yes,” said Mary, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.“

5. Helping the unfortunate:

For the first time in decades, Giuseppe, an old Italian farmer, decided it was time for him to go to confession to seek absolution for his sins.

So, he went to the Roman Catholic church in his village and entered the confessional box.

He knelt and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

The priest replied quietly, “What is this sin of which you speak, my son?”

“Father,” Giuseppe continued, “during the Second World War, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy, so I hid her in my loft.”

“Well,” said the priest, “it was wartime, a fellow human being was in trouble and in need of shelter, and you helped. Surely, that’s a noble act?”

“But father,” Giuseppe continued, “it’s worse than you might think.”

“In what way?” asked the priest.

“She repaid me with s*xual favours,” said Giuseppe, somewhat embarrassed.

“In wartime,” the priest responded, “people act in ways they wouldn’t do in peacetime. If you’re truly sorry for your actions, then you’re forgiven.”

“Thank you,” said Giuseppe, “that’s a great weight off my mind. But Father, may I ask you a question?”

“Yes, of course,” the priest responded.

Giuseppe paused momentarily and then said, “Should I tell her that the war is over?”

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6. Jack the cowboy

Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day, as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch, a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances toward him, creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops, and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie. He steps out of the car and says to the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?“

Jack looks at the man, who’s obviously a yuppie, he then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and responds calmly, “Sure, why not?“

The yuppie then whips out a very impressive iPhone Pro smartphone from his jacket pocket and begins to surf the NASA website. Simultaneously, he uses the GPS satellite to get the exact coordinates of his location. He then feeds that back to Google Earth to capture a high-resolution image of this location.

The young man then opens the digital image in Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Langley, Virginia.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his iPhone Pro to confirm that the image has been processed and the data captured and stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he uses an AirPrint printer located in his car to print out a full-colour, 150-page report. He then turns to Jack, hands him the report and says, “Sir, you’ll see from the Executive Summary that you have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.“

“That’s right,” says Jack. “I guess you can take one of my calves.“

Jack then watches with amusement as the young man struggles to get the animal into the trunk of his car.

After a minute or two, Jack says to the guy, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my calf back?“

The young man thinks for a second, and then he says, “Sure, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the US Government“, says Jack.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?“

“No guessing required, son,” Jack responded. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to be paid for an answer I already know; to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars’ worth of equipment trying to show me how smart you are, and you don’t know a thing about how ordinary working people make a living, or about cows, for that matter. If you did, you’d know that this herd is actually a flock of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”

Phil Sutton

7. The old Native American and a $500 loan 

An old Native American man visits a bank seeking a loan.

The banker welcomes him and then says that a loan application form must be completed. So he takes a loan application form from his desk drawer and begins to question the old man.

“So, what are you going to do with the money?” he asks the man.

“Buy silver, make jewellery, then sell it,” the man responded.

“And what have you got for collateral?” asked the banker.

“Don’t know collateral,” replied the old man

“Well, that’s something of value that you provide us with to cover the cost of the loan if you fail to repay,” said the banker. “For instance, have you got any vehicles?“

“Yes. 1979 Chevy pickup,” replied the old man

The banker shook his head, “No, that won’t do, I’m afraid. How about livestock?“

“Yes, I have a horse,” replied the old man.

“How old is it?” the banker enquired.

“Don’t know, has no teeth,” replies the old man.

The conversation went on like this for a while, but eventually, the banker decided to grant the $500 loan to the old man.

Several weeks later, the old man returns to the bank.

He pulls out a large roll of $100 bills from his pocket, “Here to pay,” he says.

He then hands the banker $500 in $100 bills to repay his loan.

“Business has been good, I can see,” says the banker. “What are you going to do with the rest of that money?“

“Keep it close to me,” the old man responded.

“Why don’t you just deposit it in my bank?” the banker enquired.

“Don’t know deposit,” replied the old man

“Well, you just put the money in our bank, and we take care of it for you. Whenever you want to use it, you can withdraw it,” the banker responded.

The old Native American man leans across the desk, looks the banker in the eye and asks, “What you got for collateral?“

Please share this post:

So did these short story jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped read reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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5 funny stories to tell your friends and colleagues

12/13/2025 by

If you’re looking for some funny stories to tell your friends and colleagues, then here are five that might just bring a smile to your face.

I’ve tried them on a few friends, and they all laughed out loud.

So I hope they make you smile too.

Enjoy them all.

funny stories to tell
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Funny stories to tell:

1. The Psychiatrist:

Now I hate to admit this, but ever since I was a child, I’ve had a fear that someone is under my bed at night.

My condition got so bad that I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist, and I explained my problem to her.

I was quite honest with her, and I just said, “Every time I go to bed, I fear that someone is hiding under it. I’m really scared, and I think I’m going crazy.”

“I can help you,” she said. “If you put yourself in my hands for about a year, I can help you overcome your problem.”

“What do I have to do?” I asked.

“Well,” said the psychiatrist, “if you come here for therapy three times a week for about a year, we should be able to help you get rid of your fears.”

“How much do you charge?” I asked, naturally.

“For each visit, the fee is $100.” The psychiatrist replied.

That needed a little thought, so I said, “Look, I think I’ll sleep on it, and I’ll come back to you if necessary.“

Six months later, as I’m walking down Main Street, I bump into the psychiatrist, and she remembers me.

“You didn’t come back to see me about those fears you were having,” she said.

“Well,” I responded, “when I left your office that day, I went into a bar for a drink, to think it over. I was explaining the situation to the bartender, and when I told him how much it would cost, he said he could offer me a solution that was guaranteed for $10.”

“Really?” said the psychiatrist, sounding more than a little irritated. “And how, may I ask, was your bartender able to resolve a complex psychological problem for just $10?”

“He told me to cut the legs off my bed,” I said. “I did, and no one can get under there now.”

2. The wealthy widower:

At 70 years old, Frank was now an extremely wealthy widower.

One day, Frank arrived at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful young woman who was just 25 years old.

This young lady was absolutely stunning, and she had it all. Good looks, personal charm, and perfect manners, and she hung on Frank’s arm, listening to his every word intently.

Well, Frank’s buddies were both impressed and more than a little jealous.

They were all muttering to each other and wondering how Frank was able to date such an amazing woman.

At the first opportunity, Frank’s buddy Jim corners him and asks, “Hey Frank, how did you get yourself such an attractive girlfriend?”

“She isn’t my girlfriend,” Frank responds. “She’s my wife.”

Jim can’t believe it, but he needs to know the secret of Frank’s success.

“That’s amazing,” says Jim, “but how did you persuade her to marry you?”

“I lied about my age,” says Frank.

Jim laughs out loud and then says, “Really? I suppose you told her you were only 50 then?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Frank. “I told her I was 90, with a terminal illness.”

Phil Sutton

3. Tortoises picnic:

Three tortoises, Razzle, Tinker, and Jimbob, were old friends who hadn’t seen each other for some considerable time, so they decided to go on a picnic.

Razzle packs the picnic basket with all the delicious things tortoises like to eat, such as weeds, grasses, dandelions, clover, turnip greens, fruit, and vegetables. And they take some bottles of beer too.

Now their favourite picnic spot is over a mile away from where they live, so it takes them a week to get there.

When they finally arrive, Razzle unpacks the food and the beer.

As he’s doing this, he says casually to Jimbob, “Did you bring the bottle opener?”

“No,” says Jimbob, “I didn’t bring it.”

Razzle then turns to Tinker and says, “Did you bring the bottle opener?”

“No,” says Tinker, “I didn’t bring it.”

So, they’re a mile from home with no bottle opener.

Razzle and Tinker then try to persuade Jimbob that, as it was his job to bring the bottle opener, he should go back for it.

“If I go back,” says Jimbob, “it will take me a week to get there and a week to get back. While I’m gone, you two will eat all this delicious food.”

Razzle and Tinker promise him they won’t eat the food until he returns, and so, reluctantly, he agrees.

So, Jimbob heads off down the road.

Two weeks pass, but Jimbob hasn’t returned. By now, Razzle and Tinker are starving, but they’ve made a promise.

Another five days pass, and there’s still no sign of Jimbob, but they’ve made a promise.

After another three days, there’s still no sign of Jimbob, but Razzle and Tinker are now starving. So, they start eating the food.

At that moment, Jimbob suddenly appears from behind a large rock and shouts, “I knew you’d eat the food, so I’m not going!”

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4. Seamus and his mule:

Seamus was an old Irish farmer whose wife would nag him continuously.

She would be giving him grief constantly, from morning to night and was always complaining about something.

The only time Seamus got any peace was when he was out working in the fields with his old mule. Naturally, he spent as much time in the fields as he could with his best friend, the mule.

One day, when he was out ploughing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He guided the old mule into the shade, then sat down on a stump and began to eat his lunch.

From the moment he took his first bite, his wife began giving him grief again. He hadn’t done this, and he hadn’t done that, and all the problems in the world were his fault, or so it seemed.

Suddenly, the mule lashed out with both hind feet and caught her smack in the back of the head. She dropped to the floor and died.

The funeral took place 10 days later, and the priest quickly noticed something rather odd.

When women mourners approached Seamus, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement.

However, when men approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in apparent disagreement.

When expressing his own condolences to Seamus, the priest asked him about what he’d observed.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, Seamus, but I noticed when you spoke with women, you were nodding your head in agreement. Yet with men, you were shaking your head in disagreement. What was that all about?” The priest asked.

“Well, father,” said Seamus, “the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so naturally, I’d nod my head in agreement.”

“And what about the men?” the priest asked.

“Oh,” said Seamus, “they just wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”

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5. The Pastor:

One Sunday morning after the church service, and whilst counting the money from the weekly offering, the pastor found a pink envelope containing $1,000.

Surprised though he was, he thought little of it and just accepted this generous donation gratefully.

However, the following week, the same thing happened again. This time, the pastor was naturally curious.

So, the following Sunday, the pastor watched closely as the offering was being collected. As he observed the proceedings, he noticed an elderly woman put a pink envelope on the plate.

Unsure what to do, the pastor continued to observe proceedings each Sunday over several weeks. And each week the same thing happened.

The pastor couldn’t contain his curiosity anymore, and one Sunday he decided to speak with the woman.

“Excuse me, mam,” said the pastor, “I couldn’t help but notice that each week you put $1,000 in the collection plate.”

“Why yes, Reverend,” the elderly lady replied. “Every week, my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church.”

“That’s wonderful mam and very generous of you,” the pastor replied. “However, a thousand dollars is a lot of money. Can you afford this? I mean, how much does he send you?”

“He’s a really good son, and he sends me $10,000 every week,” the old lady responded.

“Wow!” said the pastor, truly amazed. “Your son must be very successful. What does he do for a living?”

“He’s a veterinarian,” she said.

“Well now, that’s certainly an important profession,” said the pastor. “However, I had no idea it was so well paid. Where does he practise?”

The old lady smiled and said proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cathouses. One’s in Las Vegas, and one’s in Reno.”

Phil Sutton

Please share this post with your friends:

They were shared for laughs, but did any of these funny stories to tell really make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blogger to reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

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23 witty short jokes to tickle you and brighten your day

11/26/2025 by

If you’re looking for some witty short jokes to make you smile, then here are 23 that I hope will brighten your day.

There’s nothing like a good laugh to make the day feel brighter. Well, I think so, anyway.

So, enjoy the fun, and then please pass them on.

WITTY SHORT JOKES
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Witty Short Jokes:

  1. I saw a robbery in an Apple Store. Does that make me an iWitness?
  2. Q: Does February like March? A: No, but April May
  3. I have a fear of long distances, so I go to great lengths to avoid them.
  4. Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground beef.
  5. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
  6. Q: What did the snowman say to the customer? A: Have an ice day!
  7. Milk is the fastest liquid on earth. It’s pasteurized before you even see it!
  8. Q: Why do seals swim in saltwater? A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
  9. I had a fear of speed bumps but I slowly got over it
  10. Q: When does a duck wake up? A: At the quack of dawn.
  11. My girlfriend left me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I don’t have any.
  12. Q: How does an Elephant get out of a tree? A: It sits on a leaf and waits till the Fall.
  13. I don’t normally tell Dad jokes, but when I do, he always laughs.
  14. Q: Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A: A convict.
  15. I went to my doctor to see why I had such an excessive fear of snakes. He said I have a reptile dysfunction.
  16. Q: What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? A: No eye deer.
  17. A girl in the office asked me if I had a date for Valentine’s Day. I told her it’s always February 14th, as far as I know.
  18. Q: What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers? A: Leeks!
  19. An old man is struck by a car and brought to the hospital. A nurse enters his room and says, “Sir, are you comfortable?” The old man replies, “I make a nice living.”
  20. Q: What do you give to a pumpkin who’s trying to quit smoking? A: A pumpkin patch!
  21. I have a fear of overly designed buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.
  22. Q: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs!
  23. I saw a math book and a dictionary on a date last night. They looked like they had good chemistry!
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And if you did enjoy this post then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share witty jokes, surely everyone’s a winner?

Your support is truly appreciated.

Thank you.

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DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

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5 funny short story jokes guaranteed to raise a laugh

10/27/2025 by

Here are 5 funny short story jokes that I’m confident will make you laugh.

They all made me smile, so I hope you enjoy them too.

So take a few moments to relax and smile, and then feel free to pass them on.

FUNNY SHORT STORY JOKES
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Funny short story jokes:

1. Speed Cop:

Jim’s a police officer in Morristown, New Jersey.

One day he’s sitting in his squad car on Main Street when a car screams past him doing at least 100 miles an hour.

With blue lights flashing and sirens wailing, Jim chases after the car and pulls it over.

Jim approaches the car and says to the young driver, “Sir, please step out of the car for me.”

“But officer,” said the young man, “I can explain.”

“Just be quiet!” snapped Jim. “Driving at dangerous speeds on Main Street is a felony. You’ll be cooling your heels in jail until the police chief gets back and decides what to do with you.”

“But officer,” the young man responded, “if you’d just let me explain.”

Once again, Jim snapped at him, “Be quiet! You’re going to jail.”

A few hours later, Jim is checking on his prisoner in the holding cell at the station, and the guy is looking a little glum, to say the least. At this point, Jim is feeling a bit sorry for him.

“Hey buddy,” says Jim, “don’t worry. Lucky for you, the police chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” said the young driver. “I’m the groom.”

2. Gambling Habit:

An anxious father met with his son’s school principal, as he was concerned about his son’s obsession with gambling.

“All he ever wants to do is bet,” the father exclaimed to the principal. “He’ll bet on anything. Can you help me?”

The principal considered his question for a moment, and then he said, “I’ll see what I can do.”

A week later, the father met with the principal again to discuss progress.

“I think I’ve cured him of his gambling habit,” the principal told the father.

Encouraged by this comment, the father asked, “How did you manage that?”

Well, the other day, I noticed him looking at my beard, and he said, “Sir, I’ll bet you $10 that’s a false beard.”

“And what happened then?” the father asked.

“Simple, I took the bet, allowed him to tug my beard to prove it was real, and then I made him pay me the $10.” The principal responded. “He won’t do that again. He’ll have learned his lesson.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” said the father. “The other day he bet me $50 that he’d tug at your beard with your permission before the end of the week.”

3. Sunday Service:

One Sunday morning, Pastor Michael told his congregation that the church needed money to repair the church roof and asked the people to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.

By way of encouragement, he said that whoever gave the most money would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed around, Pastor Michael glanced down, and he noticed that someone had placed a bundle of $100 bills in the offering, all bound with an elastic band.

Naturally, he was excited, and he shared his joy with his congregation.

“I’d like to thank whoever placed this bundle in the offering personally,” said Pastor Michael. “There must be $1,000 here. Please make yourself known.”

At this point, a small, elderly lady at the back of the church stood up and shyly raised her hand.

“Mam,” said Pastor Michael, “we’re all so grateful to you. Please come down to the front.”

The little old lady slowly made her way to the front of the congregation, and Pastor Michael took her by the hand.

Naturally, he told her how wonderful it was that she had given so much, and as a thank you, he said, “By way of a reward, you now get to choose three hymns.”

Her eyes began to sparkle as she reflected momentarily and gazed around the congregation.

After a few moments of contemplation, she looked at Pastor Michael and then pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, “Right, I’ll take him and him and him.”

4. Divine justice:

Father Jeremy was a parish priest who was obsessed with playing golf.

He would be at a country club playing golf at every opportunity he got. It was a passion for him.

One summer Sunday, the weather was absolutely glorious, and he realised it was such a perfect day to play golf. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the temperature was really very pleasant.

“Days are rarely better than this for playing golf,” Father Jeremy thought to himself.

This left him with a dilemma. For him, Sunday was a working day, of course, but perhaps he could report in sick and then play golf at the country club in the next town?

Well, his passion for golf got the better of him, and he phoned the curate to tell him he was sick and would not be able to take mass that day.

He then packed his clubs into his car and drove two hours to a country club where he was confident he would not be recognized.

By mid-morning Father Jeremy was standing at the first tee ready to play 18 holes.

Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and the angels are his eyes and ears. And as Father Jeremy was ready to tee off, one angel was watching him with concern.

The angel then went to God and said, “Look at that parish priest. He should be preaching to his congregation today, not playing golf.”

God frowned at the angel and agreed that this was not what he’d expect from a parish priest on a Sunday.

“Leave it to me,” said God.

At this point, Father Jeremy teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it glided effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup 250 yards away. It was a perfect hole-in-one.

Never before had Father Jeremy achieved such golfing perfection, so naturally, he was both amazed and very excited.

The angel looked on from above, and he was shocked. He turned to God and said, “Lord, I’m sorry, but I thought you said you were going to punish him.“

“I have,” said God.

“How?” the angel responded.

God smiled and said, “Think about it. Who can he possibly tell about this now?“

5. The helicopter ride:

Dan and his wife, Mary, went to the state fair every year.

And every year Dan would say to Mary, “You know, Mary, I would love to go for a ride in the helicopter.“

Mary’s response was always the same.

“I know that, Dan, but the helicopter ride costs $50, and let’s face it, $50 is $50.” Mary would say.

This went on for many years, and eventually, they were at the fair one year, and Dan said to Mary, “You know, Mary, I’m 87 now. If I don’t ride the helicopter this year, I may not get another chance. I ain’t got much time left.“

Well, Mary had known hard times, so she could never be frivolous with money. Once again, her response was the same, “Dan, you know the helicopter costs $50, and $50 is $50.“

Well, as they were talking, the helicopter pilot overheard their conversation.

“Hey, listen folks,” he said, “I’ll offer you a deal. I’ll take you both for a ride in the helicopter, and if you can both stay completely quiet for the entire ride, then you can have it for free. However, you must not say a word. If you do say anything, you must pay the $50.”

Well, this sounded like a great deal to Dan and Mary, so naturally, they agreed, and up they went in the helicopter.

In an attempt to get them to say something, the pilot performed every fancy trick and move he knew, but they didn’t say a word.

To up the ante, the pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still, there wasn’t so much as one word spoken.

Finally, they landed, and the pilot turned to Dan and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!“

“Well, to be honest,” said Dan, “I almost said something when Mary fell out, but, you know, $50 is $50!“

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So did these funny short story jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

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8 really funny jokes that will make you smile

09/21/2025 by

If you’re like me, you enjoy really funny jokes. Something to make you laugh and brighten the day. Well, here are eight really funny jokes that all made me smile today.

I hope you enjoy them.

And, if you do, please feel free to pass them on.

Really Funny Jokes:

1. Money’s too tight to mention:

Two old friends, Mary and Jane, were going shopping.

Mary was a spendthrift and she had a bad habit of constantly overdrawing her bank account.

Before leaving for the mall, Jane complained about her own lack of funds and sadly lamented, “If I buy anything, I guess I’ll have to use plastic.”

Unconcerned, Mary whipped out her chequebook and said, “Well I’ll be using rubber.”

2. Blood from a stone:

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s wealthy banker, so the director decided to make a phone call.

“Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?” the banker continued.

“I … I … I had no idea,”  the director admitted.

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

3. Verifying your cheque:

The store clerk requested identification from a customer who had just written a personal cheque for her purchase.

After fumbling through her purse, she presented him with what she said was the only thing she had that bore both her name and address. It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank. 

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4. Asking for charity:

A devastated-looking man knocks on the door of a woman known for her charity.

“Please, ma’am,” he says when she opens up, “can you help this poor, tragic family down the block? The father just lost his job, and his wife is too ill to work. They’re about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone can pay their rent.”

“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” says the woman. “May I ask who you are?”

“I’m their landlord.”

 5. Ways of seeing:

Teenager, Billy lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.

After a brief but fruitless search, Billy gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes she’d found the lens.

“How did you do that?” he asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing Billy,” she explained. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

6. The rooster:

A farmer decided he wanted to go into town to see a movie.

As he was standing in line for a ticket, the ticket agent says to him. “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”

“Well,” said the farmer, “this here’s my pet rooster, Chuck. I never go anywhere without Chuck.”

“Sir, I’m sorry,” the ticket agent responds, “but we don’t allow any animals in the auditorium.”

Now the farmer is a wily old operator, and he knows how to work around a problem.

So, he disappears around the corner and stuffs the rooster down his overalls. Then he returns to the ticket booth, buys a ticket, and walks off to take his seat.

On this occasion, he’s seated next to two old women, Maude and Daisy.

The movie starts and naturally, the rooster begins to get restless. So, the old farmer unbuttons his fly so Chuck could stick his head out to watch the movie.

“Daisy,” says Maude, whispering.

“What is it, Maude?” Daisy responds.

“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”

“What makes you think so?” Daisy asks.

“He just undid his pants, and he’s got his thing out,” whispers Maude.

“So, why worry?” Daisy responds, “at your age, it’s not like you haven’t seen one before. When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

“Well, that’s what I thought,” Maude responded, “but this one’s eating my popcorn.“

7. Devoted wife:

Harry is on his deathbed, and he says to his wife, “Mabel, I will be gone soon, and there’s something I must ask you. In these 50 years of our marriage, have you ever been unfaithful to me?“

“Well, Harry,” Mabel replied, “I must be honest with you. I was unfaithful on three occasions during these past 50 years, but always with good reason.“

“Really?” said Harry, hurt by Mabel’s confession. “I didn’t suspect anything. Can you tell me your reasons?“

Mabel sighed and said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our house because we couldn’t afford to pay the mortgage. Do you remember that evening I went to see the banker, and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?“

Harry remembered the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?“

Mabel hesitated momentarily and then said, “Do you remember when you had heart problems and we didn’t have enough money to pay your medical bills? I went to see your doctor one night, and if you recall, he did the bypass surgery at no charge.“

“Oh, yes,” said Harry, “How could I forget, Mabel? You saved my life, so I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“Well,” Mabel continued, “do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed to be sure you could count on all 15 votes from the committee members?“

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8. The Lesson:

While walking along Pennsylvania Avenue, a congressman is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

Suddenly he finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter.

The congressman is still a little confused, given his circumstances, but thanks St Peter for his welcome.

“Now,” St Peter continues, “before you settle in, there is an issue. We seldom see politicians here, so we’re never quite sure what to do with you. However, we do have a procedure.”

“So, what happens now?” asks the congressman.

“Well,” says St Peter, “What we’ll do is have you spend a day in Hell followed by a day in Heaven. Then you can choose where you’ll spend eternity.”

With that, St. Peter escorts the congressman to an elevator and down he goes to Hell.

A few moments later, the elevator door opens, and the congressman finds himself standing in the clubhouse of the most amazing golf course he’d ever seen. Standing in front of him were all his old Washington buddies and other politicians who’d predeceased him.

They’re all having a great time, drinking, laughing and joking. When they see him, they greet him warmly, shake his hand, and reminisce about all the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of ordinary people. They invite him to play a game of golf and then afterwards they all dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

The devil joins them for dinner. The congressman is amazed at how friendly and caring the devil is. Nothing like he had imagined.

They were all having the most amazing time when the devil suggested it was probably time for the congressman to complete the process with St Peter.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and a wave as the elevator rises back up to the Pearly Gates. Suddenly the door opens and St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Well,” says St Peter, “now it’s time to visit Heaven.”

The time passes with the congressman joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. The time they had was pleasant enough if a little underwhelming, but it passed quickly. Before he realizes it, the congressman is back with St Peter.

“Well, now,” says St Peter, “you’ve seen what Heaven and Hell have to offer, so you must now make a choice.”

The congressman reflects on his options momentarily, then says, “Well, pleasant as Heaven was, what the devil has to offer me seems like a much better deal. So, I’ll opt for Hell.”

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and back he goes down to Hell for all eternity.

When the elevator door opens, the congressman finds himself in a stinking hellhole full of waste and garbage. Once again, he sees his friends, but they’re dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The smell is terrible.

The congressman struggles to comprehend what he’s seeing as the devil arrives to greet him. “I don’t understand,” the congressman says to the devil, “this is not what I voted for.”

The devil smiles at him.

“Yesterday,” continues the congressman, “when I was here, there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. How can this possibly be what I voted for?”

Once again, the devil smiles at him and says, “Ah, yes, you’ve noticed. Well, you see, yesterday I was campaigning. Today I have your vote. So, now you know how ordinary people feel.”

Please share this post:

So did these prove to be the really funny jokes you’d hoped for read reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, please share it with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Articles you might enjoy:

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35 thats what she said jokes to raise a smile

09/10/2025 by

Today, I thought it might be amusing to explore some Thats What She Said jokes.

This form of humour revolves around innuendo and double entendre.

Yes, it’s a bit silly and suggestive, but it’s innocent and fun too, as it reflects the nature of human interaction and the way we find humour in the absurd. And, let’s face it, much of what passes for physical interaction between people can seem a little absurd when you think about it.

As with all humour, appropriateness and effectiveness depend largely on the audience and the context. So, I hope my audience today will appreciate this form of humour.

If, for some reason, this humour is not for you, then I’ll try to offer you something more appropriate next time around.

In the meantime, for those who enjoy innuendo and double entendre, here are 35 Thats What She Said Jokes to brighten your day.

Thats What She Said Jokes
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Thats What She Said Jokes (1-10):

  1. That’s big. Thats what she said.
  2. It looks horrible! Thats what she said.
  3. I think it’s stuck. Thats what she said.
  4. I’ve seen it all now. Thats what she said.
  5. You can’t be serious. Thats what she said.
  6. I can’t get a grip on it. Thats what she said.
  7. That’s too much for me. Thats what she said.
  8. Stop fiddling with them! Thats what she said.
  9. Wow, it’s quite a handful. Thats what she said.
  10. I don’t like the look of that. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (11-20):

  1. You’re going to love these! Thats what she said.
  2. Keep it to yourself, please. Thats what she said.
  3. Well, that was disappointing. Thats what she said.
  4. Not now, I’ve got a headache. Thats what she said.
  5. Surely, you’re having a laugh. Thats what she said.
  6. This is harder than I expected. Thats what she said.
  7. I’ve never seen one that small. Thats what she said.
  8. I’ve not seen one like that before. Thats what she said.
  9. I didn’t think it would get this big. Thats what she said.
  10. That’s not a game I’m willing to play. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (21-35):

  1. I can’t keep holding it up like this. Thats what she said.
  2. I’ve never done it this way before. Thats what she said.
  3. It was over quicker than I thought. Thats what she said.
  4. You’ll get better with more practice. Thats what she said.
  5. Let’s take it out and see how it looks. Thats what she said.
  6. I’m going to need two hands for this. Thats what she said.
  7. It’s not as big as I thought it would be. Thats what she said.
  8. You don’t get many of them to the pound. Thats what she said.
  9. I love you, dear, but not enough to try that. Thats what she said.
  10. If you think I’m doing that, you can forget it. Thats what she said.
  11. Goodness, this one’s got its own personality. Thats what she said.
  12. You’re unlikely to find a pair bigger than these? Thats what she said.
  13. As experiences go, that wasn’t much to write home about. Thats what she said.
  14. There’s an easy way and a hard way. Let’s do it the easy way. Thats what she said.
  15. It’ll take more than a skinny latte and a blueberry muffin to impress me. Thats what she said.
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If any of these ‘Thats What She Said Jokes’ made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So, please go ahead and share now.

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5 priceless jokes that’ll tickle you silly

08/27/2025 by

Looking for some priceless jokes? Well, how about these five little gems?

They all made me smile, and I hope they brighten up your day.

Enjoy them all.

Feel free to share them with your friends.

priceless jokes
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Priceless Jokes:

1. Populating the Earth:

One day, God said to Adam, “It’s nearly time for you and Eve to begin populating Earth. So I want you to kiss her.”

“I don’t understand,” said Adam. “What does ‘to kiss’ mean?”

God understood that it was all new to Adam, so patiently he explained to Adam what was required of him.

Adam took Eve by the hand, and they disappeared into the woods. A little while later, they emerged, and Adam said, “That was most enjoyable.”

“I thought you might say that,” said God, “so now I want you to caress her.”

“But what does ‘caress’ mean?” Adam asked.

So God provided Adam with a brief explanation again.

Again, Adam took Eve by the hand, and they disappeared into the woods once more.

Soon they returned, and Adam smiled and said, “That was even better.”

“Good,” said God. “You’ve done well. So now I want you to make love to Eve.”

Again, Adam was a little perplexed. “What does ‘make love’ mean?” said Adam.

So God gave Adam another explanation, and Adam then took Eve by the hand back into the woods.

This time, Adam emerged from the woods alone, looking puzzled, within seconds.

He looked at God and said, “Lord, what’s a headache?”

2. The customer’s compulsion:

A man walked into a Manhattan bar and ordered a glass of white wine.

He took a sip of the wine, and then he hurled the rest of the glass into the bartender’s face.

“Oh, I’m really sorry,” he said. “I keep doing that to bartenders. It’s a compulsion, and I find it extremely embarrassing.”

The bartender was an amiable fellow, and he was sympathetic to the man’s problem, despite the provocation.

As he wiped his face, he suggested that the man see an analyst about his problem.

“Hey, another customer of mine is a psychiatrist with an excellent reputation. My brother and my wife both use him, and they say he’s the best there is,” said the bartender.

About three months later, the man returned to the bar again.

The bartender remembered him immediately. As he poured the man a glass of white wine, he said, “Good to see you, buddy. Did you do what I suggested?”

“Yes, I certainly did,” said the man. “I’ve been seeing the psychiatrist you recommended for two sessions every week.”

He then took a sip of his wine and again threw the rest of the glass into the bartender’s face.

As he wiped his face with a towel, the flustered bartender spluttered, “That doctor doesn’t seem to be doing you any good.”

“On the contrary,” said the man. “He’s done me the world of good.”

“But you’ve just thrown wine in my face again,” responded the bartender.

“Yes, but I’m not embarrassed by it anymore,” said the man.

3. The sooty tern:

One day, a young sooty tern was flying over the sea with its parents when the mummy bird ran into a cliff and dropped to the ground.

Oblivious to his mate’s fate, the daddy tern flew on, but the young bird swooped to the foot of the cliff in a bid to save her.

Alas, the mummy tern was already dead, and the tearful young bird was taken under the wing of a family of seagulls.

A week later, the head of the seagull family announced, “You’re a well-behaved bird, but I’m afraid we can’t keep you. However, we’re going to find a tern that can adopt you and act as a replacement mother.”

So the seagull put an ad in the local paper, which read, “One good tern deserves a mother.”

4. Difficult customer:

A man walked into a smart downtown bar and sat on a stool at the counter.

“Sir, what can I get you to drink?” said the bartender. “A beer, maybe? We’ve got an excellent special brew on offer this evening.”

“I’m sorry,” replied the man haughtily. “I don’t drink alcohol. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it, and I haven’t touched a drop since.”

The bartender tried to engage the man in friendly conversation by offering him a cigar.

“You can’t smoke it in here,” said the bartender, “but perhaps you can enjoy it later.”

“No, thank you,” said the man with a sneer. “I don’t smoke. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it, and I haven’t smoked since.”

Again, the bartender attempted a little banter, but the man was having none of it.

“Listen,” he said. “I appreciate you’re merely trying to be sociable, but the fact is I wouldn’t even be in this place at all but for the fact that I’m meeting my son here.”

“That would be your only child, I presume?” the bartender remarked philosophically.

5. Lady in the Casino:

The Las Vegas casino was virtually deserted, and two male dealers at the craps table were idling away their time in the hope that business might soon improve.

Suddenly, a stunningly attractive woman with a fabulous figure appeared and said she wanted to bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

“Certainly, mam,” said one of the dealers, happy to relieve the boredom.

“There’s just one thing, though,” said the woman.

“What’s that?” said the dealer.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind,” said the woman, “but playing topless always brings me luck. There’s hardly anyone about, so I’ll take off my blouse and bra before I roll the dice.”

She then quickly removed those garments, exposing her ample assets, and threw the dice before yelling, “I’ve won! I can’t believe it! I’ve won!”

She then scooped up all the money, picked up her clothes, and disappeared in an instant.

The two dealers were stunned. “What did she roll?” asked one.

“I don’t know,” said the other. “I thought you’d be watching the dice!”

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Please share with your friends:

So did these prove to be the priceless jokes you’d hoped for, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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30 knock knock jokes that are corny but fun

08/25/2025 by

Do you enjoy ‘knock knock jokes,’ dear reader?

Yes, they’re corny, I know. However, they’re fun too. Clever wordplay is always fun, and indeed, I find it amusing.

So, here are 30 knock knock jokes which I hope you will enjoy.

Grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax, and enjoy the smiles.

And when you’ve read them all, feel free to pass them on to your friends.

30 KNOCK KNOCK JOKES
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Knock Knock Jokes (1-10):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Boo
  • Boo who?
  • Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wendy
  • Wendy who?
  • Wendy wind blows, the cradle will rock!
  • Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Honeybee
  • Honeybee who?
  • Honeybee a dear and get the door, please!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes the police, open up!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alpaca
  • Alpaca who?
  • Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Mikey
  • Mikey who?
  • Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole; can you open the door, please?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Olive
  • Olive who?
  • Olive you and I always will!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wooden shoe
  • Wooden shoe who?
  • Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cow says
  • Cow says who?
  • No silly, cow says moooo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cash
  • Cash who?
  • No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock Knock Jokes (11-20):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Icy
  • Icy who?
  • Icy you but you can’t see me!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Kenya
  • Kenya who?
  • Kenya guess who I am?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more jokes left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Ivor
  • Ivor who?
  • Ivor question to ask you.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nicholas
  • Nicholas who?
  • Nicholas women shouldn’t climb trees.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Luke
  • Luke who?
  • Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Howard
  • Howard who?
  • Howard you like a big hug?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Noah
  • Noah who?
  • Noah good place we can get something to eat?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Atch
  • Atch who?
  • Bless you!

Knock Knock Jokes (21-30):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Harry
  • Harry who?
  • Harry up and answer the door!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more cookies left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nana
  • Nana who?
  • Nana your business!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Justin
  • Justin who?
  • Justin the neighbourhood, and heard you needed a laugh!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Europe
  • Europe who?
  • No, you’re a poo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in and we’ll tell you!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Who
  • Who who?
  • Is there an owl in here?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Fuk
  • Fuk who?
  • No, Fuk Yu!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes a nice place you got here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alex
  • Alex who?
  • Alex the questions around here!
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Please share this post:

If any of these knock knock jokes made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Affiliate Disclosure: This site is an affiliate of Expedia and related companies. This means that if you click on the link and make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products or services that I think will be valuable to you. Any commissions earned help support the content I create.

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50 funny what is the difference between jokes

08/14/2025 by
50 funny what is the difference between jokes

If you’re looking for some “what is the difference between jokes,” dear reader, then I can offer you 50 today that I’m sure will raise a laugh or two.

Give people a laugh, and they’ll forget about their worries, at least for a while. That’s my philosophy.

Whether you’re at your local bar trying to break the ice with some new friends or at a family gathering trying to make your notoriously hard-to-impress uncle chuckle, these jokes are sure to be a hit. Well, I think so, anyway.

So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare for an onslaught of comedic genius. Well, at the very least, a few groans.

Let’s get this laughter show on the road, shall we? We all need laughter, and there’s no better way to start the day.

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What is the difference between jokes (1-10):

  1. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
  2. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a tricycle? Attire!
  3. What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, whack, “Darn!” A bad skydiver goes, “Darn!” whack.
  4. What’s the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can’t dunk an elephant in your tea.
  5. What’s the difference between a teacher and a railroad guard? One trains the mind, and the other minds the train.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? One is heavy, the other is a little lighter.
  8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
  9. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
  10. What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What is the difference between jokes (11-20):

  1. What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
  2. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
  3. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
  4. What’s the difference between a tick and a politician? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other is a tiny insect.
  5. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
  6. What’s the difference between a thief and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch, and the other watches your snatch.
  7. What’s the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
  8. What’s the difference between a comet and a cat? One has a tail that’s blazing, and the other’s tail is for chasing.
  9. What’s the difference between a banker and a vampire? One sucks your blood, and the other your wallet.
  10. What’s the difference between a poker player and a skydiver? One takes a chance when he goes all in, and the other when he jumps all out. 

What is the difference between jokes (21-30):

  1. What’s the difference between a chef and a dog? One wears pants and the other just pants.
  2. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing!
  3. What’s the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, and a cat only nine times.
  4. What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a steam train? The teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the train says, “Choo Choo!”
  5. What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? One’s a pop fly and the other’s a fly pop.
  6. What’s the difference between a baseball player and a dirty puppy? One runs home after sliding into base, and the other slides into home after running in the dirt.
  7. What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
  8. What’s the difference between a circus and a brothel? At the circus, you have a cunning array of stunts.
  9. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
  10. What’s the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hooks, and the other hates his books.

What is the difference between jokes (31-40):

  1. What’s the difference between a robber and a politician? The robber steals your money and then runs. The politician runs and then steals your money.
  2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
  3. What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape? Grapes are purple.
  4. What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme.
  5. What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion? No one sheds a tear when you chop up an accordion.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
  8. What’s the difference between a gambler and a skydiver? A gambler risks going broke, and a skydiver risks going splat.
  9. What’s the difference between a mathematician and an accountant? An accountant would say that 1+1=2. A mathematician would need to prove it.
  10. What’s the difference between a casino and a church? In a casino, you really mean it when you pray.

What is the difference between jokes (41-50):

  1. What’s the difference between a pun and a dad joke? One just leaves you groaning, and the other leaves you groaning and slightly disappointed.
  2. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
  3. What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman? The used car salesman knows when he’s lying.
  4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
  5. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
  6. What’s the difference between a magician and a politician? One performs tricks and the other just tricks.
  7. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer doesn’t need a parachute.
  8. What’s the difference between a politician and a snail? One is a slimy pest, and the other is a snail.
  9. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
  10. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear, and the other’s a very good year.
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5 short funny stories for adults that’ll raise a smile

08/12/2025 by

If you’ve been searching for some short funny stories for adults, then here are five that will raise a smile, I’m sure.

Enjoy them all, and please feel free to pass them on.

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Short funny stories for adults:

1. The Lions and the Lamp:

Three hungry lions wander across the Serengeti National Park in search of food when they stumble upon an old oil lamp.

Having never seen one before and being naturally curious, they start sniffing around it. As they’re doing this, one of their tails brushes against the lamp, and then there’s a ‘Pooof!’ sound.’ A genie is suddenly standing in front of them.

“Lions,” says the genie, “I’m the genie of the lamp, and I’ll grant you three wishes. That’s one wish for each of you.”

The first lion is so hungry he doesn’t need to think very hard.

“I would like a big, juicy piece of meat, please,” he says.

Pooof! In a flash, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat is lying on the ground in front of him.

Well, it’s the turn of the second lion, and he’s so hungry he decides he wants even more.

“I want a shower of meat, please,” he says.

Pooof! In a flash, there are big, juicy pieces of meat falling from the sky.

Not wishing to be outdone by his friends, the third lion thinks hard for a second or two.

“Got it!” he says. “I want a meatier shower!”

2. Parents know best:

Two young brothers, Will and Jack, had very different, extreme personalities.

Their parents quickly realized that Will was a born optimist, whilst Jack was a real pessimist.

So, being concerned about them both, their parents decided to take them to see a child psychologist.

The psychologist thought the parents were overreacting and tried to reassure them.

“Mr and Mrs Smith,” he said, “I’m sure you’re exaggerating. I’m happy to review their behaviour for you, but I’ll be surprised if your boys are any different from any other young kids.”

In an attempt to allay their fears, he then took Jack into a room filled with the most exciting toys any child could possibly imagine.

Naturally, the psychologist expected to see Jack play with all these toys enthusiastically.

However, Jack just burst into tears.

“What’s the matter?” asked the psychologist. “Don’t you want to play with all these wonderful toys?”

“No!” Jack responded. “I might break them, and then I’ll be in big trouble.”

Well, the psychologist was surprised by Jack’s extreme pessimism, but he couldn’t believe that both boys would be quite so different.

So, he decides to take Will into another room.

This room is filled from floor to ceiling with horse manure.

Naturally, the psychologist was expecting Jack to be completely repulsed by the experience.

However, Will was in his element, and he quickly started digging in the manure with his bare hands.

“What are you doing?” asked the psychologist. “Why are you digging?”

“With all this manure,” replied Will, “there’s got to be a horse here somewhere!”

Moral of the Story: No one knows kids better than their parents.

3. The new teacher:

A new teacher is sitting with her 6th-grade class for the first time.

Naturally, she’s keen to apply all the techniques she’s learned in her teacher training, and in particular, she’s keen to use what she’s learned in her psychology class.

She stands in front of her class and says, “Right, children, everyone who thinks they’re stupid, please stand up.”

Well, for a few minutes, there’s silence, and no one stands up.

However, just then, Little Johnny bravely gets to his feet.

The teacher smiles and says, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”

“No mam,” Johnny responded, “but it’s not fair, you standing there all on your own.”

4. On the Starship Enterprise:

On the Starship Enterprise, Captain Kirk is chatting with Doctor Spock one day.

“Spock,” says Captain Kirk, “you always remain calm and good-natured, even when you’re talking to people who are obviously far less intelligent than you. How do you do it?”

“Well, Jim,” says Spock. “I convey my contempt for people I consider inferior to me by simply agreeing with whatever they say.”

“Really?” says Captain Kirk. “That’s absolutely ridiculous!”

“I completely agree with you, Jim,” Spock responded with a smile.

5. Telling the time:

Two old Army buddies, Jim and Pete, are sitting up late at night, enjoying a bottle of the finest Scotch and reminiscing about old times in foreign places.

They’ve been drinking all evening, and they’re starting to get a little tipsy, to say the least.

Eventually, Jim asks, “What time is it?”

To which Pete responds, “I don’t know, but give me your old bugle.”

“Why?” Jim asks. “How can you tell the time with a bugle?”

“It’s easy,” says Pete. “Just watch me.”

Jim passes him the bugle, and Pete starts playing Reveille very, very loudly.

Within seconds, a voice shouts from the floor above, “Who the hell’s playing the bugle at one o’clock in the morning?”

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Dear reader, did any of these short funny stories for adults make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, click on the links below. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blogger to reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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