10 short funny jokes that will make you smile

01/20/2026 by
10 short funny jokes

If you’re looking for some short funny jokes, then these might just make you smile.

They all tickled me, so I hope you enjoy them too.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Make Money

Short funny jokes:

1. The bacon tree:

Two cowboys are lost in the desert.

As they’re staggering through the desert and very hungry, one of the cowboys suddenly sees a tree draped in bacon.

“A bacon tree!” he shouts. “We’re saved!”

He runs over to the tree as fast as he can, but he’s shot up with bullets as he approaches it.

Sadly for him, it wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

2. Polishing a resumé:

To ensure you impress a hiring manager with your resumé, you must make your experience really stand out.

Even when the experience you have to offer might not sound like very much, you have to make it sound impressive.

For instance, let’s say on your resumé, you want to include the experience, “I changed a lightbulb.”

That simple statement would not be enough. A better way to say it would be:-

I single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of a new environmental illumination system with zero cost.

3. Reporting in sick:

I phoned the office, and I told my boss that I couldn’t come to work today because I have a wee cough.

She said, “You have a wee cough?”

“Really,” I said. “Thanks, boss. I’ll see you next week then.”

4. Never send your husband on an errand:

Jane said to her husband, Bill, “Could you please go to the store and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six?”

A short time later, Bill returns with 6 cartons of milk.

“Why the hell did you buy six cartons of milk?” asks Jane.

“Because they had eggs,” says Bill.

5. Married life after 50:

Jim and Mary had been married for over 30 years, and they were travelling from Los Angeles to London.

During check-in at LAX, the airline agent was apologetic to Jim and said, “Sir, I’m sorry, but the flight is full today, and you should be aware that you and your wife haven’t been allocated adjacent seats. Your seat number is 14A, and your wife’s is 42H.”

“Well, thank you, mam,” said Jim, with a smile. “Will I have to pay an extra charge for this bonus?”

“Oh, no, sir,” said the airline agent, politely. “Your wife has already paid.”

6. History matters:

Wouldn’t you agree that it’s an indictment of our education system today that young people have absolutely no idea who Neil Armstrong was or the type of trumpet that he played?

7. Little Johnny needs water:

Little Johnny runs downstairs late at night and asks his dad for a glass of water.

“Johnny,” says his dad, “that’ll be your fifteenth glass of water. Why do you need more water now?”

“Because my room’s still on fire,” says Johnny.

8. Hearing problems:

I went to the doctor because I had hearing problems.

“Can you describe your symptoms?” the doctor asked.

“Homer’s the fat bloke,” I responded, “and Marge has blue hair.

9. Pulled over for speeding:

Jack gets pulled over for speeding.

As the cop approaches the car, Jack requests permission to step out of his car, and the cop agrees.

The cop then says, “Sir, I’m obliged to ask, why were you speeding?”

“You see that woman sitting in the passenger seat?” says Jack. “That’s my wife. And the stern, miserable-looking woman in the rear seat, that’s my mother-in-law.”

“Right,” says the cop. “But how does that justify speeding?”

“My mother-in-law’s been living with us for three months now,” Jack continues. “This morning, my wife and her mother had a terrible fight, and my mother-in-law insisted I take her home. I’m trying to get her there before they have a chance to make up, and she says she wants to return home with us.”

The cop smiles benevolently at Jack and says, “Get back in your car, sir, and I will give you a police escort under blue lights and the siren, and we’ll get her home as quickly as possible.”

10. Date night:

Calum called his Mom and said, “Mom, I’ve just met the girl of my dreams. She’s wonderful?”

“Well, that’s grand,” said his Mom. “Why don’t you buy her some flowers and invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?“

Calum agreed that would be a romantic gesture and said he’d let Mom know how it went.

Naturally, Mom was keen to know how it went, so the day after the date, she called to hear his news.

“Mom,” said Calum, “it was a complete disaster.”

“Why, son, didn’t she come over?” Mom asked.

“Oh, she came over, all right,” said Calum. “But she refused to cook!“

Phil Sutton

Please share this post with your friends:

They were shared just for laughs, but did any of these short funny jokes really make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blog to reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

60 we were so poor jokes that’ll make you smile

01/16/2026 by

Every parent likes to tell their children stories about how tough life was in their youth. You kids today have a life filled with fancy vacations and designer clothes, but it was tougher for us, they’ll say. So, here are 60 amusing “we were so poor jokes” about the imagined realities of growing up in days gone by, when people were flat-out broke. People looking back with a slightly romanticised notion of yesteryear.

Get ready to smile at the sheer ingenuity of those who came from humble beginnings.

And feel free to pass on these little gems.

We were so poor jokes (1-10):

We were so poor, we couldn’t afford to dream.

We were so poor, our Christmas tree was a twig.

We were so poor we had to reuse birthday candles.

We were so poor, we couldn’t even afford to get lost.

We were so poor, we couldn’t afford to pay attention.

We were so poor even our pet dog only had three legs.

We were so poor our rainbows were in black and white.

We were so poor we used to wash our clothes in the rain.

We were so poor our TV only had two channels: on and off.

We were so poor we even had to eat our toenail clippings.

Make Money

We were so poor jokes (11-20):

We were so poor a brush was something you had with the law.

We were so poor a burner was a cell phone used for nefarious activities.

We were so poor that anything was legal, as long as you didn’t get caught.

We were so poor a window was an opportunity to steal when no one was home.

We were so poor an iron was a metal bar you’d use to defend what little you had.

We were so poor a comb meant a police search of our house looking for illicit contraband.

We were so poor a ring was something that had to deal with the consequences of a bad diet.

We were so poor a tie was an item used to secure something valuable to prevent it being stolen.

We were so poor and hungry that even the termites were too terrified to come to our house lest they be eaten.

We were so poor a handle was something you had on a subject you needed to know a lot about, like what you can get away with if you were careful.

We were so poor jokes (21-30):

We were so poor we had to use both sides of the toilet paper.

We were so poor our allowance was paid in Monopoly money.

We were so poor we had to share a bed with our neighbours.

We were so poor we had to use the cat as a hot water bottle.

We were so poor even the tooth fairy left us discount coupons.

We were so poor we couldn’t afford to turn the page in a book.

We were so poor our family vacation was a trip to our backyard.

We were so poor even the holes in our shoes had holes in them.

We were so poor we had to use the phone book as a booster seat.

We were so poor we couldn’t even afford a cardboard box to live in.

Phil Sutton

We were so poor jokes (31-40):

We were so poor that we only got to eat fast food if we caught a rabbit.

We were so poor our family portrait was a matchstick figure drawing.

We were so poor, we could only afford to listen to Simon or Garfunkel.

We were so poor a treat was going to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.

We were so poor my parents used to cut coupons for birthday presents.

We were so poor the only time I ever flew on a plane was in my dreams.

We were so poor we had to eat breakfast cereal with a fork to save the milk.

We were so poor making a fashion statement was wearing mismatched socks.

We were so poor entertainment was watching our neighbours mow their lawn.

We were so poor a runner was something you did when you couldn’t pay the bill.

We were so poor jokes (41-50):

We were so poor we didn’t have cups we had to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

We were so poor we lived in a house so small, I had to go outside to change my mind.

We were so poor our idea of entertainment was watching food rotate in the microwave.

We were so poor for Christmas we got a box of rocks with the instruction, “Be creative!“

We were so poor our idea of a comfortable bed was finding a carpeted floor to sleep on.

We were so poor getting away in the summer was going for a long walk in the local park.

We were so poor our idea of a designer handbag was a grocery bag with a Walmart logo.

We were so poor we didn’t have a doorbell, visitors to our house just had to yell “Ding Dong!”

We were so poor I had to wear my sister’s hand-me-downs, and she was a year younger than me.

We were so poor our idea of dining in a fancy restaurant was a trip to McDonalds, but only on payday.

Go Explore London

We were so poor jokes (51-60):

We were so poor a fork was something you found in the road.

We were so poor we had to save the gas from our farts and sell it as lighter fuel.

We were so poor the nearest we ever got to a jacuzzi was eating a plate of beans before taking a bath.

We were so poor our family motto was “Use it up, wear it out, make do, or go without.” Mostly the last one.

We were so poor Santa used to leave us a note saying, “Due to economic difficulties, presents are on backorder.”

We were so poor our experience of fireworks displays was watching our neighbours light theirs through a hole in the fence.

We were so poor I used to think double date meant convincing another friend to come along so we could split the cost of the pizza.

We were so poor my parents insisted anything I wanted had to be paid for with chores. So, if I wanted dinner I had to wash the car.

We were so poor the only time we went to an amusement park was on a school trip where the highlight was the free water fountain.

We were so poor my parents would talk loudly on our porch about the gangsters they knew in the hope that it would scare away the repoman.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did any of these we were so poor jokes make you smile, dear reader? I hope so. And if they did, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

50 corny but playful Yo Mama jokes

01/08/2026 by

If you enjoy Yo Mama jokes, then take a look at the 50 I have on offer for you today.

They’re all a bit corny, but they’re fun, playful, and lighthearted.

I hope at least a few of them will make you smile.

Enjoy them all, and please, feel free to share them with your friends.

Yo Mama Jokes
Make Money

Yo Mama Jokes (1-10):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, she babysat Yoda.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her social security number is 1.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she was overtaken by a sloth.
  4. Yo mama’s so fat, she has to buy group insurance.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she lost in a game of solitaire.
  6. Yo mama’s so old, Moses was in her class at school.
  7. Yo mama’s so slow, she’d lose in a race with a snail.
  8. Yo mama’s so slow, she gets overtaken by parked cars.
  9. Yo mama’s so slow, she could be overtaken by a glacier.
  10. Yo mama’s so lazy, she gets tired watching cars pass by.
Phil Sutton

Yo Mama Jokes (11-20):

  1. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a cordless phone.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless network.
  4. Yo mama’s so old, she used to babysit George Washington.
  5. Yo mama’s so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, even the deaf ask her to keep the noise down.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she forgot she was wearing her sunglasses.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was only a prince.
  9. Yo mama’s so heavy-handed, she’d break safety glass with a cotton ball.
  10. Yo mama’s so bad at technology, she couldn’t even find the START button on her computer.
Go Explore London

Yo Mama Jokes (21-30):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, her high school diploma is on a stone tablet.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
  3. Yo mama’s so bad at math, she can’t even count her own fingers.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, even a turtle crossed the road faster than her.
  5. Yo mama’s so lazy, even her remote control needs a remote control.
  6. Yo mama’s so bad at gardening, her plants filed for ‘plant protection’.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she sometimes introduces herself to the mirror.
  8. Yo mama’s so greedy, she tried to download cookies from the internet.
  9. Yo mama’s so confused, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
  10. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.
Make Money

Yo Mama Jokes (31-40):

  1. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thinks deja vu is a yoga pose.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, Tyrannosaurus Rex was her first pet.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over her own shadow.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, she was beaten in a race by a statue.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she went to the airport to catch a train.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, she doesn’t need a phone to make a long-distance call.
  7. Yo mama’s so lacking in a sense of direction, she got lost in her own house.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was just feeling a little unwell.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she put her phone on airplane mode and couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t fly.
  10. Yo mama knows so little about sports, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl thinking it was a food-tasting event.
Phil Sutton

Yo Mama Jokes (41-50):

  1. Yo mama’s so loud, you can hear her thoughts.
  2. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she could slip on sunshine.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she came second in a ‘solo race’.
  4. Yo mama’s so bad at cooking, even the trashcan spit it out.
  5. Yo mama’s so stingy, she uses both sides of the toilet paper.
  6. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought Bluetooth was a dental problem.
  7. Yo mama’s so dumb, if she played hide and seek alone, she’d still lose.
  8. Yo mama’s cooking is so bad, even her dog goes to a neighbour’s house to eat.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she tried to charge her credit card by plugging it into the wall.
  10. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought an Apple iPhone would count as one of her five-a-day.
Go Explore London

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these Yo Mama jokes made you smile, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

More fun you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

33 Why Did jokes that are all full groan

01/08/2026 by

If you like Why Did jokes, then I have 33 for you today, dear reader, and I promise you that they’re all full groan.

Every one, a play on words designed to tickle your funny bone.

So, relax, take an unofficial break, and enjoy them all.

And if any of them did seriously tickle you, then please, feel free to pass them on to your friends.

WHY DID JOKES

Why Did Jokes (1-11):

  1. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
  2. Why did the computer go on a diet? Too many cookies.
  3. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants.
  4. Why did the computer go to the dentist? It had Bluetooth.
  5. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  6. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
  7. Why did the banana go on a road trip? The a-peel of adventure.
  8. Why did the pen refuse to write? Because it felt that way ink-lined.
  9. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
  10. Why did the banana go to university? The a-peel of being well-educated.
  11. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.
Make Money

Why Did Jokes (12-22):

  1. Why did the lamp go to school? Because it wanted to shine amongst its peers.
  2. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems to solve.
  3. Why did the computer go to the party? Because it wanted to dance the byte away.
  4. Why did the banana go to the therapist? Because it had a split personality.
  5. Why did the photographer start a blog? Because he wanted more exposure.
  6. Why did the tomato leave the comedy club? Because all the jokes were tasteless.
  7. Why did the tomato go on a night out? Because it wanted to paint the town red.
  8. Why did the pen become a poet? Because it had an ink-credible way with words.
  9. Why did the zombie win the dance competition? Because it had some killer moves.
  10. Why did the scarecrow become a DJ? Because it had some a-maize-ing tracks to spin.
  11. Why did the bicycle become a stand-up comedian? Because it was wheel-y funny.
Phil Sutton

Why Did Jokes (23-33):

  1. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
  2. Why did the computer become a musician? Because it had great keyboard skills.
  3. Why did the tomato go to the party? To ketchup with friends and relish the good times.
  4. Why did the tomato turn purple? Because it was trying to ketchup with the latest trends.
  5. Why did the math student go into therapy? Because he had a lot of unresolved problems.
  6. Why did the scarecrow become a tour guide? Because it knew all the best fields and gardens.
  7. Why did the bicycle become a chef? Because it loved whipping up wheely delicious meals.
  8. Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the classroom? To help his students reach new heights.
  9. Why did the banana break up with the orange? Because they didn’t really a-peel to each other.
  10. Why did the scarecrow become a detective? Because it had exceptional ability in solving corn-undrums.
  11. Why did the math book become friends with the calculator? Because they both had problems to solve.
Go Explore London

Please share this post:

If any of these Why Did jokes made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

30 Guess What jokes to raise a smile or two

01/08/2026 by

I know how much readers enjoy a good laugh, and that’s why I’ve curated a collection of delightfully clever Guess What jokes just for you today.

These aren’t just your everyday, run-of-the-mill jokes. They’re mostly just a clever play on words. That’s what I enjoy, and I hope that you enjoy this form of humour too, dear reader.

So, grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax, and enjoy the humour I have on offer for you today.

And please, feel free to pass on these jokes.

GUESS WHAT JOKES
Make Money

Guess what jokes (1-10):

  1. Guess what? They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic. But so far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase.
  2. Guess what? I got my friend a fridge for his birthday. I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
  3. Guess what? My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, we went and had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
  4. Guess what? My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said ‘40‘.
  5. Guess what? I’ve just written a pop song about tortillas. Well, it’s more of a wrap, really.
  6. Guess what? I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We’ve got no gigs yet.
  7. Guess what? My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table. I had to take a running start, but I made it.
  8. Guess what? I had a joke about a boomerang, but I’ve forgotten it. It’ll come back to me.
  9. Guess what? My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
  10. Guess what? I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Phil Sutton

Guess what jokes (11-20):

  1. Guess what? I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.
  2. Guess what? I had an addiction to soap, but I’m clean now.
  3. Guess what? I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said, ‘Wii.’
  4. Guess what? I once did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
  5. Guess what? I was going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  6. Guess what? I was going to tell you a joke about infinity, but it doesn’t have an end.
  7. Guess what? I wrote a book on penguins. In hindsight, paper would have been better.
  8. Guess what? I used to be an astronaut, but I couldn’t stand the pressure.
  9. Guess what? At the library, I asked for a book on levitation. They said it was currently floating around somewhere.
  10. Guess what? A friend asked me if I had any sodium hypobromite. I said NaBrO.
Go Explore London

Guess what jokes (21-30):

  1. Guess what? I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired.
  2. Guess what? I wanted to learn to juggle, but I just don’t have the balls.
  3. Guess what? I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Tell you what, never again.
  4. Guess what? I’ve just told a chemistry joke, but I didn’t get a reaction.
  5. Guess what? I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work!
  6. Guess what? I told my wife I saw a deer on the way home. She said, “How do you know he was on his way home?”
  7. Guess what? My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home.
  8. Guess what? I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
  9. Guess what? I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
  10. Guess what? I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying, “Ooh, you’re brilliant.”
Make Money

Please share this post:

If any of these Guess What jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 funny jokes you can tell your colleagues at the office

01/08/2026 by

If you’re looking for some funny jokes you can tell your colleagues at an office party, then you’ve come to the right place, dear reader.

Today, I offer you five great jokes, and I’m confident you’ll enjoy them all.

So take a few moments for a little comic relief, and please feel free to pass them on to your friends.

Funny jokes you can tell your colleagues:

1. Buying a parrot:

Jerry’s wife decided she’d like a parrot for a pet as a birthday gift, and of course, she wanted one that could talk.

Naturally, Jerry knows it’s essential to keep his wife happy if he’s to have an easy life, but he doesn’t want to spend too much money on an exotic bird.

However, he hears about an auction where exotic birds are being traded, and he thinks this might be just the place to purchase a parrot at a reasonable price.

So Jerry arrives at the auction room and immediately spots a parrot with a reserve price of $100.

“That looks perfect,” he thinks.

So bidding starts, and they get to the $100 reserve price quickly, and bidding is with Jerry at the $100. He thinks the bird is his when suddenly a mystery bidder says $120.

Having the price pushed up at the last minute is an irritation, but Jerry is determined to get this bird for his wife.

So Jerry shouts, “$150!” But the mystery bidder then responds, “$200!”

Jerry is even more determined now, and he decides he’ll go on up to a maximum of $500. He thinks to himself, “If I can’t get it for that price, then I will just have to withdraw from the bidding.”

So Jerry and the mystery bidder continue their contest, and the price continues to soar until it reaches $500.

The auctioneer says, “Do I have any advance of $500? OK, fair warning. Going once…….”

It looks like Jerry’s got it at $500, and he waits with bated breath as the auctioneer says, “Going twice…..”

There’s no further bid from the mystery bidder.

“Sold!” says the auctioneer.

Jerry breathes a sigh of relief.

As he’s paying for the bird, Jerry says to the auctioneer, “I hope this parrot can talk. My wife would kill me if she knew I’ve paid this much money for a parrot only to find it can’t talk.”

The auctioneer smiles at Jerry as he says, “Yes, of course, he can talk. Who do you think was bidding against you?”

Make Money

2. Get knotted:

Three strings walk into a bar.

The bartender takes one look at them and says, “Sorry, but no strings are allowed in here.”

With that, they’re all ejected from the bar.

One string gets an idea and ties a knot at one end. Then it returns to the bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender looks at this string suspiciously and then says, “Wait a minute, you’re a string.”

The string is promptly ejected from the bar again.

Whilst this is going on, the second string gets an idea. It frays one end and then goes back into that bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender is just about to serve the beer, but then says, “Wait a minute, you’re a string.“

With that, the second string is ejected.

Whilst all this has been going on, the third string has had time to really think about the best solution.

As the second string is being ejected, the third string frays both ends and then ties itself into a large knot. It then walks back into the bar and requests a beer.

The bartender gets the beer, but he’s still a little suspicious. He looks closely and then asks, “Are you sure you’re not a string?“

The third string looks him in the eye and then says, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”

Phil Sutton

3. Pelican’s bill:

A pelican walks into a bar and sits down.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks.

“I’ll have a Jack Daniel’s on the rocks,” the pelican responds.

The bartender serves the drink, and the pelican strikes up a conversation with others sitting at the counter.

Half an hour later, the pelican, suitably refreshed, gets up, ready to leave.

“That’ll be $6.50,” says the bartender. “How will you pay? Cash or card?”

Looking slightly embarrassed, the pelican hands over a $100 note and then says, “Sorry for the big bill!“

Go Explore London

4. The bank robbery:

A man with a shotgun and a scarf covering the lower half of his face bursts into a branch of Bank of America.

“Freeze! No one move,” he shouts.

He hands a large leather bag to a teller and says, “Fill it with cash, and you won’t get hurt.”

The teller complies with his demand, but as he grabs the cash-filled bag from her, the scarf slips briefly to reveal his face. Quickly, he pulls it back into position.

However, panicked that a witness may have seen his face, he starts interrogating the customers.

Pointing his gun at a couple standing nearby, the bank robber growls at the man, “Did you see my face? Because if you did, I would shoot you dead!”

“No, I didn’t see your face,” the man says hesitantly.

“Are you sure?” says the bank robber.

“Absolutely,” says the man, “but I’m fairly certain my wife got a good look at you.”

Make Money

5. The lawyer at the Pearly Gates:

A lawyer dies and finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St Peter.

St Peter looks at him and then says, “You’re a lawyer. I’m afraid you cannot enter here. There’s a place down below reserved for you.”

However, using all his courtroom know-how the lawyer pleads his case until eventually, St Peter agrees to reconsider.

“OK this is what I’ll do”, says St Peter. “You’ll spend the same amount of time in Hell as you did on Earth, and then you can spend the rest of eternity up here in heaven.”

“Fair enough,” the lawyer responds.

“Right then,” says St Peter, “we’ll see you again in three hundred and seventy-five years.”

“Just a minute St Peter, what do you mean by three hundred and seventy-five years?” says the lawyer. “I’m only sixty-two!”

“Yes, I know that,” says St Peter, “but up here we go by billing hours.”

Please share the fun:

I hope you found these funny jokes you can tell your colleagues as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh? If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today, then please share these jokes with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

So go on, please do it now. I will be ever so grateful.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

4 funny long story jokes to raise a smile

01/05/2026 by

Here are four funny long story jokes to brighten your day. They all tickled me, and I hope they make you smile too.

Enjoy them all, and please feel free to pass them on.

FUNNY LONG-STORY JOKES

Funny long story jokes:

1. Getting older:

Jean, Ethel and Mildred are three elderly ladies chatting about the challenges of getting older.

“I think 60 is the worst age to be,” said 60-year-old, Jean. “You always feel like you need to pee. And most of the time nothing happens.”

“Ah, that’s nothing,” said 70-year-old, Ethel. “When you’re 70, you don’t seem to have bowel movements anymore. You take laxatives, you eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and yet nothing ever happens.”

“Actually, I can tell you from experience, 80 is the worst age of all,” said 80-year-old, Mildred.

“Do you have trouble peeing, too, Mildred?” asked Jean.

“No,” said Mildred. “I pee every morning at 6 am, and I pee like a racehorse. That’s no problem at all.”

“Well, how about your bowel movements, Mildred?” Ethel inquired. “Do you have any problems with them?”

“No,” Mildred responded. “I have a bowel movement every morning at 6.30 am, as regular as clockwork.”

Jean and Ethel exchanged puzzled glances before Jean said, “Now let me get this straight, Mildred. You pee at 6 am and poop at 6.30 am? So what’s so hard about being 80?”

Mildred frowned before she said, “I never wake up before 7 am.”

Make Money

2. The mechanic’s skills:

Jeff was a mechanic working in his workshop, repairing a Harley Davidson motorcycle for one of his regular clients, who was a heart surgeon.

Jeff was just replacing the cylinder head on the bike when Dr Corker, his client, arrived to check up on progress.

“Hey doc,” said Jeff. “The bike’s almost ready for you but can I ask you a question first?”

“Yeah, sure Jeff,” said the heart surgeon. “How can I help you?”

“Doc, take a look at this motorcycle engine,” said Jeff. “I can open its heart. I can take the valves out. And I can fix those valves and put them back in again. And when I’ve finished, this engine works like it’s brand new.”

“So, what’s your question, Jeff?” Dr Corker responded.

“Well doc,” said Jeff, “my question is, how come I earn a small salary and yet you earn a very large one? Essentially, don’t we just do the same work? How come we don’t earn the same?”

Dr Corker thought about the question momentarily, then smiled at Jeff and said, “Try doing it with the engine running.”

Phil Sutton

3. On safari:

Jim and Irene were on holiday in Africa, and they’d taken Irene’s mother with them.

Now Jim’s mother-in-law could be a bit of a battle-axe, to say the least, but she’d recently lost her husband, so Jim accepted that this was the decent thing to do.

Anyway, they’d been on safari for a few days, when one morning Irene woke up to find her mother missing.

In a state of panic, she woke Jim, and they both went out to look for her!

Suddenly, they come to a clearing, where they find Jim’s mother-in-law, facing down a ferocious lion, eye-to-eye.

“Quick, darling, do something!” screamed Irene.

“You’ve got to be joking!” said Jim. “The lion got himself into this mess; he can deal with it himself.”

Go Explore London

4. Taking Sunday off:

It was a beautiful Sunday morning and absolutely perfect weather for a game of golf.

Being a golf fanatic, Father O’Driscoll couldn’t resist the lure of links, and he decided he’d skip mass and head out to his favourite country club.

Naturally, Father O’Driscoll spoke with his curate, excused himself by saying he was unwell, and explained that he wouldn’t be able to take mass today.

He then got in his car and drove out to the country club, which was in a neighbouring town.

When Father O’Driscoll teed off on the first hole, a huge gust of wind caught his ball, carrying it another hundred yards and dropping it right into the hole.

Father O’Driscoll was absolutely ecstatic. After all, it was a 450-yard hole-in-one. Amazing! The first time he’d ever achieved that Holy Grail for golfers.

Now God and Saint Peter were watching Father O’Driscoll from above.

Saint Peter gave God a puzzled look and then asked, “Why have you rewarded his behaviour with a hole-in-one?”

“Is it a reward or a punishment?” God asked. “After all, who’s he going to tell?”

Saily eSIM

Please share with your friends:

So dear reader, did you enjoy these funny long-story jokes? Was this post worth a little piece of your time? I do hope so.

If you did enjoy this post, then please share it with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now, and you’ll be making an old blogger very happy.

Thank you.

More fun you might enjoy:

DISCLOSURE: Some links here are affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I trust, and your support helps keep this website free to use. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

35 stupid jokes that are funny

01/05/2026 by

If you’re looking for stupid jokes that are funny, dear reader, then take a look at the 35 I’ve collected for you today.

Yes, they are corny. Yes, they are stupid. However, I’m confident that at least a few of them will raise a smile.

So, grab a coffee, relax, and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

STUPID JOKES THAT ARE FUNNY

Stupid jokes that are funny (1-10):

  1. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
  2. How do you start a pudding race? Say go!
  3. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.
  4. What is hairy and coughs? A coconut with a cold.
  5. What is the most unreliable diner? A fickle onion.
  6. Why did the pickle miss work? Because it was dill.
  7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  8. What food can you eat in a taxi? Corn on the cab.
  9. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
  10. What did the plate say to the diner? Lunch is on me. 
Make Money

Stupid jokes that are funny (11-20):

  1. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  2. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
  3. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
  4. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted!
  5. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up!
  6. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  7. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  8. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
  9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  10. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
Phil Sutton

Stupid jokes that are funny (21-30):

  1. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop, but it was sole destroying.
  2. Why did the sandwich go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
  3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  4. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
  5. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
  6. Why don’t Melons run away to get married? Because they cantaloupe.
  7. Why did the lazy grape stomper get fired? For sitting down on the job.
  8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  9. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
  10. What is yellow, brown, and hairy? Cheese on toast dropped on the carpet.
Go Explore London

Stupid jokes that are funny (31-35):

  1. I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you didn’t think it was funny.
  2. I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job, and I made my own hours.
  3. Why are hamburgers better than hot dogs? Because hot dogs are the wurst.
  4. Why did the guy put his money in a blender? Because he needed to liquidate his assets!
  5. I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids. In one ear, out the other.
Saily eSIM

Please share this post:

If any of these stupid jokes that are funny actually made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

DISCLOSURE: Some links here are affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I trust, and your support helps keep this website free.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

7 short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

12/13/2025 by

Do you like short story jokes? Those little yarns that go on for a while, only for the punchline to pop out of left field.  Today I have seven little gems which I hope will make you laugh.

Enjoy them all, and please, feel free to pass them on.

SHORT STORY JOKES
Make Money

Short story jokes:

1. The Dead Duck

A woman brings a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon.

As she lays her beloved pet duck on the table, the vet puts his stethoscope on the bird’s chest and listens carefully.

A moment later, the vet shakes his head and says sadly, “I’m really sorry mam, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.“

The woman becomes quite distressed and begins to cry.

“Are you sure?” she asks, tears flooding her eyes.

“Yes, mam, I am sure”, the vet responds. “Your duck is definitely dead.“

“But how can you be so sure?” the woman protests. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything, have you? Perhaps he’s just stunned or in a coma or something.”

The vet rolls his eyes, then turns around and leaves the room.

A few minutes later, he returns with a black Labrador retriever.

As the duck’s owner looks on in amazement, the Labrador stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examination table, and sniffs around the duck from top to bottom. He then looks up at the vet with sad eyes and shakes his head.

The vet pats the dog on the head and takes it out of the room.

A few minutes later, the vet returns with a cat. The cat jumps on the table and delicately sniffs at the bird from its head to its feet. After a moment, the cat looks up, shakes its head, meows softly and strolls out of the room.

The vet looks at the woman and says, “Look, mam, I’m really sorry, but as I said before, this is most definitely a duck that is no longer of this world. Your duck is dead.“

The vet then turns to his computer terminal, hits a few keys and produces a bill, which he hands to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, looks at the bill and sees it is $150.

“$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” she shrieks with incredulity

The vet shrugs his shoulders and says, “I’m sorry mam. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. However, with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.“

Phil Sutton

2. Never underestimate an old man

An elderly man had owned his large farm in Louisiana for many years.

Right at the back of the farm, there was a large pond that was ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.

One evening, the farmer decides to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn’t been down there for a while.

Before setting off, he grabs a five-gallon bucket as he decides he’ll bring back some fruit.

As he nears the pond, he can hear voices shouting and laughing with glee. Clearly, someone is having a good time.

As the farmer gets closer, he can see a bunch of young women who are clearly skinny-dipping in his pond.

He makes the women aware of his presence, and immediately they all swim over to the far end.

One of the women then shouts, “We’re not coming out until you leave, mister!“

The farmer replies, “Ladies, I didn’t come down here to watch you swim naked or make you get out of the pond. You carry on.“

The wily old-timer then holds up his bucket and says, “I just came down here to feed the alligators!“

Moral of the story: Never underestimate an old man.

3. Divine intervention:

For a weekend break, three old college buddies go down to Tijuana, Mexico, to enjoy a reunion.

Well, they hadn’t seen each other for quite a few years, so the stories were long, the laughs were loud, and the booze really did flow that night.

They had such a good time that they all woke up the following morning and found themselves in jail.

None of them could remember anything. However, within a couple of hours, they’re all sentenced to be executed the following day.

The following morning, they’re all escorted to death row, where Bill, the first of the group, is strapped into the electric chair. Then Bill is asked if he’d like to say any words.

“Sure,” Bill responds. “I’m from the Catholic University of America, and I believe in the power of almighty God. I am innocent, and God will intervene.”

The executioner throws the switch, but nothing happens.

Well, the prison staff can’t believe this turn of events. They beg Bill’s forgiveness and release him.

Next up for the chair is Gary. He’s strapped in, and once again he’s offered the opportunity to say something.

“Well, I’m from Harvard Law School,” says Gary, “and I believe that the power of natural justice will intervene because I’m innocent.”

Once again, the executioner throws the switch, but nothing happens.

Again, the prison staff can’t believe this turn of events. They beg Gary’s forgiveness and release him.

Finally, Mike’s strapped into the chair, and once again he’s offered the opportunity to say something.

“Well,” says Mike. “I have a PhD in Electrical Engineering from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and I can tell you now, you won’t be executing anyone if you don’t plug this thing in.”

Saily eSIM

4. It’s only Rock & Roll:

Mary, an attractive lady of 85, was marrying for the fourth time.

Naturally, this was a human-interest story, and the local newspaper decided to send a reporter to interview Mary.

The reporter sat with Mary and asked, “Could you tell me about your husbands and how they earned their living?”

Mary smiled and said, “Well, my first husband was a banker, then I married a circus ringmaster, next was a preacher and now at 85, I’m marrying a funeral director.”

“Wow,” said the reporter, they’ve all had such diverse careers.”

“Yes,” said Mary, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.“

5. Helping the unfortunate:

For the first time in decades, Giuseppe, an old Italian farmer, decided it was time for him to go to confession to seek absolution for his sins.

So, he went to the Roman Catholic church in his village and entered the confessional box.

He knelt and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

The priest replied quietly, “What is this sin of which you speak, my son?”

“Father,” Giuseppe continued, “during the Second World War, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy, so I hid her in my loft.”

“Well,” said the priest, “it was wartime, a fellow human being was in trouble and in need of shelter, and you helped. Surely, that’s a noble act?”

“But father,” Giuseppe continued, “it’s worse than you might think.”

“In what way?” asked the priest.

“She repaid me with s*xual favours,” said Giuseppe, somewhat embarrassed.

“In wartime,” the priest responded, “people act in ways they wouldn’t do in peacetime. If you’re truly sorry for your actions, then you’re forgiven.”

“Thank you,” said Giuseppe, “that’s a great weight off my mind. But Father, may I ask you a question?”

“Yes, of course,” the priest responded.

Giuseppe paused momentarily and then said, “Should I tell her that the war is over?”

Make Money

6. Jack the cowboy

Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day, as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch, a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances toward him, creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops, and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie. He steps out of the car and says to the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?“

Jack looks at the man, who’s obviously a yuppie, he then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and responds calmly, “Sure, why not?“

The yuppie then whips out a very impressive iPhone Pro smartphone from his jacket pocket and begins to surf the NASA website. Simultaneously, he uses the GPS satellite to get the exact coordinates of his location. He then feeds that back to Google Earth to capture a high-resolution image of this location.

The young man then opens the digital image in Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Langley, Virginia.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his iPhone Pro to confirm that the image has been processed and the data captured and stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he uses an AirPrint printer located in his car to print out a full-colour, 150-page report. He then turns to Jack, hands him the report and says, “Sir, you’ll see from the Executive Summary that you have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.“

“That’s right,” says Jack. “I guess you can take one of my calves.“

Jack then watches with amusement as the young man struggles to get the animal into the trunk of his car.

After a minute or two, Jack says to the guy, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my calf back?“

The young man thinks for a second, and then he says, “Sure, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the US Government“, says Jack.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?“

“No guessing required, son,” Jack responded. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to be paid for an answer I already know; to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars’ worth of equipment trying to show me how smart you are, and you don’t know a thing about how ordinary working people make a living, or about cows, for that matter. If you did, you’d know that this herd is actually a flock of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”

Phil Sutton

7. The old Native American and a $500 loan 

An old Native American man visits a bank seeking a loan.

The banker welcomes him and then says that a loan application form must be completed. So he takes a loan application form from his desk drawer and begins to question the old man.

“So, what are you going to do with the money?” he asks the man.

“Buy silver, make jewellery, then sell it,” the man responded.

“And what have you got for collateral?” asked the banker.

“Don’t know collateral,” replied the old man

“Well, that’s something of value that you provide us with to cover the cost of the loan if you fail to repay,” said the banker. “For instance, have you got any vehicles?“

“Yes. 1979 Chevy pickup,” replied the old man

The banker shook his head, “No, that won’t do, I’m afraid. How about livestock?“

“Yes, I have a horse,” replied the old man.

“How old is it?” the banker enquired.

“Don’t know, has no teeth,” replies the old man.

The conversation went on like this for a while, but eventually, the banker decided to grant the $500 loan to the old man.

Several weeks later, the old man returns to the bank.

He pulls out a large roll of $100 bills from his pocket, “Here to pay,” he says.

He then hands the banker $500 in $100 bills to repay his loan.

“Business has been good, I can see,” says the banker. “What are you going to do with the rest of that money?“

“Keep it close to me,” the old man responded.

“Why don’t you just deposit it in my bank?” the banker enquired.

“Don’t know deposit,” replied the old man

“Well, you just put the money in our bank, and we take care of it for you. Whenever you want to use it, you can withdraw it,” the banker responded.

The old Native American man leans across the desk, looks the banker in the eye and asks, “What you got for collateral?“

Please share this post:

So did these short story jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped read reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Articles you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 funny stories to tell your friends and colleagues

12/13/2025 by

If you’re looking for some funny stories to tell your friends and colleagues, then here are five that might just bring a smile to your face.

I’ve tried them on a few friends, and they all laughed out loud.

So I hope they make you smile too.

Enjoy them all.

funny stories to tell
Make Money

Funny stories to tell:

1. The Psychiatrist:

Now I hate to admit this, but ever since I was a child, I’ve had a fear that someone is under my bed at night.

My condition got so bad that I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist, and I explained my problem to her.

I was quite honest with her, and I just said, “Every time I go to bed, I fear that someone is hiding under it. I’m really scared, and I think I’m going crazy.”

“I can help you,” she said. “If you put yourself in my hands for about a year, I can help you overcome your problem.”

“What do I have to do?” I asked.

“Well,” said the psychiatrist, “if you come here for therapy three times a week for about a year, we should be able to help you get rid of your fears.”

“How much do you charge?” I asked, naturally.

“For each visit, the fee is $100.” The psychiatrist replied.

That needed a little thought, so I said, “Look, I think I’ll sleep on it, and I’ll come back to you if necessary.“

Six months later, as I’m walking down Main Street, I bump into the psychiatrist, and she remembers me.

“You didn’t come back to see me about those fears you were having,” she said.

“Well,” I responded, “when I left your office that day, I went into a bar for a drink, to think it over. I was explaining the situation to the bartender, and when I told him how much it would cost, he said he could offer me a solution that was guaranteed for $10.”

“Really?” said the psychiatrist, sounding more than a little irritated. “And how, may I ask, was your bartender able to resolve a complex psychological problem for just $10?”

“He told me to cut the legs off my bed,” I said. “I did, and no one can get under there now.”

2. The wealthy widower:

At 70 years old, Frank was now an extremely wealthy widower.

One day, Frank arrived at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful young woman who was just 25 years old.

This young lady was absolutely stunning, and she had it all. Good looks, personal charm, and perfect manners, and she hung on Frank’s arm, listening to his every word intently.

Well, Frank’s buddies were both impressed and more than a little jealous.

They were all muttering to each other and wondering how Frank was able to date such an amazing woman.

At the first opportunity, Frank’s buddy Jim corners him and asks, “Hey Frank, how did you get yourself such an attractive girlfriend?”

“She isn’t my girlfriend,” Frank responds. “She’s my wife.”

Jim can’t believe it, but he needs to know the secret of Frank’s success.

“That’s amazing,” says Jim, “but how did you persuade her to marry you?”

“I lied about my age,” says Frank.

Jim laughs out loud and then says, “Really? I suppose you told her you were only 50 then?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Frank. “I told her I was 90, with a terminal illness.”

Phil Sutton

3. Tortoises picnic:

Three tortoises, Razzle, Tinker, and Jimbob, were old friends who hadn’t seen each other for some considerable time, so they decided to go on a picnic.

Razzle packs the picnic basket with all the delicious things tortoises like to eat, such as weeds, grasses, dandelions, clover, turnip greens, fruit, and vegetables. And they take some bottles of beer too.

Now their favourite picnic spot is over a mile away from where they live, so it takes them a week to get there.

When they finally arrive, Razzle unpacks the food and the beer.

As he’s doing this, he says casually to Jimbob, “Did you bring the bottle opener?”

“No,” says Jimbob, “I didn’t bring it.”

Razzle then turns to Tinker and says, “Did you bring the bottle opener?”

“No,” says Tinker, “I didn’t bring it.”

So, they’re a mile from home with no bottle opener.

Razzle and Tinker then try to persuade Jimbob that, as it was his job to bring the bottle opener, he should go back for it.

“If I go back,” says Jimbob, “it will take me a week to get there and a week to get back. While I’m gone, you two will eat all this delicious food.”

Razzle and Tinker promise him they won’t eat the food until he returns, and so, reluctantly, he agrees.

So, Jimbob heads off down the road.

Two weeks pass, but Jimbob hasn’t returned. By now, Razzle and Tinker are starving, but they’ve made a promise.

Another five days pass, and there’s still no sign of Jimbob, but they’ve made a promise.

After another three days, there’s still no sign of Jimbob, but Razzle and Tinker are now starving. So, they start eating the food.

At that moment, Jimbob suddenly appears from behind a large rock and shouts, “I knew you’d eat the food, so I’m not going!”

Saily eSIM

4. Seamus and his mule:

Seamus was an old Irish farmer whose wife would nag him continuously.

She would be giving him grief constantly, from morning to night and was always complaining about something.

The only time Seamus got any peace was when he was out working in the fields with his old mule. Naturally, he spent as much time in the fields as he could with his best friend, the mule.

One day, when he was out ploughing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He guided the old mule into the shade, then sat down on a stump and began to eat his lunch.

From the moment he took his first bite, his wife began giving him grief again. He hadn’t done this, and he hadn’t done that, and all the problems in the world were his fault, or so it seemed.

Suddenly, the mule lashed out with both hind feet and caught her smack in the back of the head. She dropped to the floor and died.

The funeral took place 10 days later, and the priest quickly noticed something rather odd.

When women mourners approached Seamus, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement.

However, when men approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in apparent disagreement.

When expressing his own condolences to Seamus, the priest asked him about what he’d observed.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, Seamus, but I noticed when you spoke with women, you were nodding your head in agreement. Yet with men, you were shaking your head in disagreement. What was that all about?” The priest asked.

“Well, father,” said Seamus, “the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so naturally, I’d nod my head in agreement.”

“And what about the men?” the priest asked.

“Oh,” said Seamus, “they just wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”

Make Money

5. The Pastor:

One Sunday morning after the church service, and whilst counting the money from the weekly offering, the pastor found a pink envelope containing $1,000.

Surprised though he was, he thought little of it and just accepted this generous donation gratefully.

However, the following week, the same thing happened again. This time, the pastor was naturally curious.

So, the following Sunday, the pastor watched closely as the offering was being collected. As he observed the proceedings, he noticed an elderly woman put a pink envelope on the plate.

Unsure what to do, the pastor continued to observe proceedings each Sunday over several weeks. And each week the same thing happened.

The pastor couldn’t contain his curiosity anymore, and one Sunday he decided to speak with the woman.

“Excuse me, mam,” said the pastor, “I couldn’t help but notice that each week you put $1,000 in the collection plate.”

“Why yes, Reverend,” the elderly lady replied. “Every week, my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church.”

“That’s wonderful mam and very generous of you,” the pastor replied. “However, a thousand dollars is a lot of money. Can you afford this? I mean, how much does he send you?”

“He’s a really good son, and he sends me $10,000 every week,” the old lady responded.

“Wow!” said the pastor, truly amazed. “Your son must be very successful. What does he do for a living?”

“He’s a veterinarian,” she said.

“Well now, that’s certainly an important profession,” said the pastor. “However, I had no idea it was so well paid. Where does he practise?”

The old lady smiled and said proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cathouses. One’s in Las Vegas, and one’s in Reno.”

Phil Sutton

Please share this post with your friends:

They were shared for laughs, but did any of these funny stories to tell really make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blogger to reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

DISCLAIMER: Post contains affiliate links; no additional charge to you; commissions support the cost of maintaining this website. I appreciate your support. Thank you.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Next Page »