27 Quotes by Jane Austen that are thought-provoking

11/06/2024 by

Today I thought exploring some quotes by Jane Austen would be interesting.

As I’m sure many readers will know, Jane Austen was an English novelist known primarily for her six major novels, which interpret, critique, and comment upon the British landed gentry at the end of the 18th century.

Austen’s work explored women’s dependence on marriage in the pursuit of favourable social standing and economic security.

Austen’s use of biting irony, realism, and social commentary has earned her acclaim among critics and scholars.

For her time, she was a successful woman, and it’s always worth listening to successful people.

So, dear reader, be inspired by these excellent quotes by Jane Austen and see how many of them still resonate with us all today.

Quotes by Jane Austen (1-9)

An artist cannot do anything slovenly.

Respect for right conduct is felt by everybody.

It is very difficult for the prosperous to be humble.

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.

Nothing ever fatigues me but doing what I do not like.

We do not look in our great cities for our best morality.

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

Quotes by Jane Austen (10-18)

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.

Vanity working on a weak head produces every sort of mischief.

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

One man’s ways may be as good as another’s, but we all like our own best.

In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels.

Selfishness must always be forgiven you know because there is no hope of a cure.

There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

Quotes by Jane Austen (19-27)

The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favour of matrimony.

Nobody, who has not been in the interior of a family, can say what the difficulties of any individual in that family may be.

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.

There is safety in reserve, but no attraction. One cannot love a reserved person.

What wild imaginations one forms where dear self is concerned! How sure to be mistaken!

Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken.

I would have everybody marry if they can do it properly: I do not like to have people throw themselves away, but everybody should marry as soon as they can do it to advantage.

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Well, I hope so.

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35 of the best one-liners ever. You’ll love them all

11/05/2024 by

Today I offer you some of the best one-liners ever. Well, they are in my opinion, at least.

I love a great one-liner and these are all brilliant. They’re amusing, sharp and very witty. I hope at least one or two of them will brighten your day.

So take a couple of minutes and enjoy them all.

And please feel free to share them.

Best one-liners ever (1-12)

Am I indecisive? I’m not sure.

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

A clean house suggests there’s no WiFi.

Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.

It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.

I started with nothing, and I’ve still got most of it.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

When life gives you melons, you could be dyslexic.

You say you’re a compulsive liar, but I don’t believe you.

Since I had my neck brace fitted I’ve never looked back.

Best one-liners ever (13-24)

A liberal is just a conservative who hasn’t been mugged yet.

Yeah? You and whose army?

What did your last slave die of?

Yes, I’ve had a good time, but this wasn’t it.

If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.

You look like you’ve found a dime and lost a dollar.

Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.

My life’s as good as anyone’s if their life’s truly awful.

Keep looking like that and your face will stay that way.

Well, you certainly look like you’ve got the face you deserve.

Am I looking at you? Why? Do I look like I’ve got nothing better to do?

With a face like that, you must have done something terrible in a previous life.

Best one-liners ever (25-35)

Don’t be a fool all your life, take five minutes off and give the rest of us a break.

Drive like an idiot and it won’t be long before you’ll meet another idiot heading in the other direction.

Your face and voice suggest your career options will be limited to those things you can do well with your hands.

You shouldn’t laugh at your wife’s choices because you’re one of them.

You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon fails to return home, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving unless it’s something you plan to do more than once.

I love to hold hands at the movies but for some reason, strangers sitting next to me never seem that keen.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you’ll look forward to the trip.

Is it true that the security guys at the Samsung Store are known as Guardians of the Galaxy?

You know they’re your friends when you walk into their home, and you connect to the WiFi automatically.

The absurdity of the sexual act is God’s way of reminding us that he does have a sense of humor.

Enjoyed these one-liners? 

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these one-liners made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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21 thought-provoking quotes about fake friends

11/05/2024 by

Today I thought it would be interesting to explore some quotes about fake friends.

How often do you hear people say, “Oh, I have many friends?“

For a very lucky few, that may be true. However, most of the time, it’s not true at all.

Almost always, real friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand with some fingers to spare.

For me, a real friend is someone I could phone at 2 am if I was in serious trouble and be confident that they’d be straight out to help me in a heartbeat.

Everyone else is just people I know with varying degrees of familiarity.

Yes, there is a broader circle of people with whom I socialise occasionally but my close friends are those I know I can count on when the chips are down.

Many people we know tend to be ‘fair-weather friends‘ and some of them will be genuinely fake. There when it suits them but otherwise they care little for us.

So, when it comes to friends, we have to learn to differentiate the real from the not-so-real. A real friend will enter your life just as the rest of the world is leaving.

Here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about fake friends to help you with that process.

Quotes about fake friends (1-10)

You don’t lose when you lose fake friends. ~Joan Jett

A fake friend is an enemy in disguise. ~Ellen J. Barrier 

Better an honest enemy than a false friend. ~German Proverb

I didn’t lose a friend; I just realized I never had one. ~Author Unknown

Make sure the lions you roll with aren’t snakes in disguise.  ~Genereux Philip

True friends cry when you leave. Fake friends leave when you cry. ~Author Unknown

Pay close attention to the people who don’t clap when you win. ~Author Unknown

Growing up means realizing a lot of your friends aren’t really your friends. ~Author Unknown

Fake friends: once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you. ~Author Unknown

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. ~Author Unknown

Quotes about fake friends (11-21)

Sometimes it’s not the people who change it’s the mask that falls off. ~Author Unknown

True friends will always find a way to help you. Fake friends will always find an excuse. ~Author Unknown

You never lose friends. Real ones will always stay, no matter what and the fakes, you don’t need them anyway. ~Drishti Bablani

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have a ton of friends and more important to have real ones. ~Author Unknown

The same person that speaks highly of you will be the same person that downs you. Be careful who you call friends. ~Author Unknown

You don’t lose friends because real friends can never be lost. You lose people masquerading as friends and you’re better for it. ~Mandy Hale

A true friend cares about what’s going on in your life. A fake friend will make their problems sound bigger. Be a true friend. ~Author Unknown

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. ~Buddha

False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports. ~Richard Burton

I’ve got more respect for someone who comes out and says they don’t like me than for the ones who act like they do but talk bad about me when I’m not around. ~Mitchell Perry

Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they’re your friends. People pretend well. Real situations expose fake people. So pay attention. ~Author Unknown

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Did you find these thought-provoking quotes about fake friends interesting?

If you did then perhaps they might interest others you know too.

Please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins. If you could share it now then I’d be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

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36 best quotes by famous authors to inspire you

11/04/2024 by

If you’re looking for some of the best quotes by famous authors, then I have 36 great quotes to inspire you today. I’m confident that they will all get you thinking.

So, take a few minutes to read them all and then see how many of them you can work into your day.

Perhaps you have a presentation to do in the office? Well, a good quote to stress your underlying message is always a good idea. Maybe one of these would fit perfectly?

Enjoy them all and please feel free to pass them on.

Best quotes by famous authors (1-12)

It hurt because it mattered. ~John Green

To thine own self be true. ~William Shakespeare

Life’s not fair; why should I be? ~Margaret Atwood

You cannot find peace by avoiding life. ~Virginia Woolf

As you start to walk on the way, the way appears. ~Rumi

Straight roads do not make skilful drivers. ~Paula Coelho

Each moment is a place you’ve never been. ~Mark Strand

There is always something left to love. ~Gabriel García Márquez

To avoid criticism: say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. ~Aristotle

Everything is hard before it is easy. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose. ~C.S. Lewis

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way. ~Henry David Thoreau

Best quotes by famous authors (13-24)

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~J.K. Rowling

Sooner or later even the fastest runners have to stand and fight. ~Stephen King

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. ~Albert Einstein

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not. ~Oscar Wilde

When you can’t change the direction of the wind, adjust your sails. ~H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. ~Maya Angelou

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. ~Stephen King

I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival. ~Audre Lorde

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out. ~Ray Bradbury

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. ~Mark Twain

It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default. ~J.K. Rowling

Best quotes by famous authors (25-36)

It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~George Eliot

Self-awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead. ~Brene Brown

No one really has a bad life. Not even a bad day. Just bad moments. ~Regina Brett

Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood. ~George Orwell

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance. ~Samuel Johnson

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt 

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. ~Alice Walker

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down. ~Kurt Vonnegut

Challenges make life interesting, however, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. ~Mark Twain

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. ~Neil Gaiman

It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself and half-believed before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here. ~James Baldwin

There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can’t, but I can change the present so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having. ~Terry Pratchett

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find these the best quotes by famous authors? Were they as interesting and inspirational as you’d hoped dear reader?

Well, I hope so.

If that’s the case then please share this blog post with your friends because when you share everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now on social media. If you can do that for me then I’d be ever so grateful.

Thank you for your support.

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Building personal branding for success

11/03/2024 by

Building personal branding for successPersonal branding says something about you. And personal branding for success is something which you should take seriously if your aim is to be successful.

How you present yourself to the world is being judged all the time and people will draw conclusions about you based simply on their perception of you and how you look.

That may not seem fair but in my experience, it’s almost always true. And reputations can often be built largely based on other peoples’ perception of you.

So, is personal branding something that matters to you dear reader?

In your opinion, does it matter what you look like; how you dress; how you speak; or what people see in your digital footprint on social media and elsewhere? Certainly, it should do.

What do you think? Does your reputation matter to you?

Perhaps you believe that the only thing that really matters is the quality of the work that you do?

If that’s true then you may not see the need to worry about your personal branding.

However, I can assure you, you really are being judged all of the time, whether you like it or not.

The importance of personal branding:

Think about it for one moment. Now, how often have you walked into an open plan office area looking for a manager you’ve not met and yet you have no trouble spotting who he or she is, immediately?

Building personal branding for successYou just can’t miss them, can you? There’s just something about them that says, ‘I am the manager!‘ Well, that’s personal branding.

It’s the same thing with social media.

How you conduct yourself within your digital footprint will speak volumes about you and it will have an impact on how you’re perceived by others.

A silly remark on social media about other people or the latest news can prove very costly and may have implications in future years because it could suggest something about your judgement, or lack of it.

Jobs have been lost and people have been forced to resign over ill-judged comments made on social media, often many years before.

So you have to ask yourself, do I really want to be successful in my chosen field?

If you do then you must ensure that your personal branding is consistent with your ambition. To be the one, you must look like the one, in every respect.

You must also promote yourself in the right way, at every opportunity.

Self-promotion is important because it’s all about selling yourself and making sure you’re perceived by the world in the way you’d prefer to be perceived.

If you don’t sell yourself and create the right image for yourself then no one else is going to do it for you, that’s for sure. Constantly working on your personal branding must be part of your strategy for achieving success.

The good news is that with WordPress, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Linked In and other social media channels, it’s never been easier to promote yourself, create the right image, build relationships and tell the world what it is you have to offer.

So the obvious question now is, where do you start on building a personal brand?

Building a personal brand:

In the video below, recorded at TEDxCMU 2011, Jacob Cass presents some interesting and useful ideas as to how you can go about building your personal brand.

This video will provide you with some useful tips and it’s well worth watching.

Further Reading:

One video cannot cover this topic comprehensively, of course, so you might like to consider adding a reference book on the subject to your personal reference library.

Here are three that are worthy of your consideration:-

  1. Introduction To Personal Branding: Ten Steps Toward A New Professional You by Mel Carson
  2. Personal Branding For Dummies by Susan Chritton
  3. KNOWN: The Handbook for Building and Unleashing Your Personal Brand in the Digital Age by Mark Schaefer

You can take a look at each of them by clicking on the appropriate link. Why not take a look right now whilst it’s all fresh in your mind? I hope they prove useful to you.

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Thank you.

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37 one line funny quotes to brighten your day

11/02/2024 by

ONE LINE FUNNY QUOTESOne-line funny quotes always make me smile. I just love clever wordplay and short, pithy comments. And I always make a note of them in my journal.

So today I’ve pulled together 37 one-line funny quotes which I hope will brighten your day and raise a smile or two.

Enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Pass on the smiles and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

One line funny quotes (1 – 21):

  1. Blunt pencils are pointless.
  2. I doubt, therefore I might be.
  3. The rotation of the Earth makes my day.
  4. Did Noah include termites on the ark?
  5. To be Frank, I’d have to change my name.
  6. Keep the dream alive. Hit the snooze button.
  7. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
  8. Which shoes do frogs prefer? Open toad sandals.
  9. Why do bees hum? They can’t remember the lyrics!
  10. If you don’t pay my exorcist, will I get repossessed?
  11. The cost of living might be high but it remains popular.
  12. You can add insult to injury by signing somebody’s cast.
  13. If everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  14. I failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil. It wasn’t 2B. 
  15. I used to have an hourglass figure, but the sand has shifted.
  16. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is on my to-do list.
  17. The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Restaurant In Peace.
  18. Should women have children after 35? No, 35 children are enough!
  19. You think you’ve got a handle on life and then you realise it’s broken.
  20. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  21. Adam and Eve were the first to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

One line funny quotes (22 – 37):

  1. Does refusing to go to the gym count as a form of resistance training?
  2. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It can dissolve marriages, families and careers.
  3. My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.
  4. I went to see my physician about my short-term memory problems. He made me pay in advance.
  5. I bought a new pair of gloves and they were both ‘lefts’. Good on the one hand but on the other, just not right.
  6. My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.
  7. I’m sceptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. That’s a bit of a stretch.
  8. Do I have a girlfriend? Well, I know a girl who would be really mad if I said I didn’t.
  9. Honesty’s the best policy, which suggests that dishonesty is the second-best policy.
  10. Houdini used a trap door in every show, which suggests it was a stage he was going through.
  11. Animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers
  12. Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
  13. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
  14. Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Hey! We don’t want your type in here!’
  15. A ghost walked into a Manhattan bar and ordered a Whiskey. The bartender said, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve spirits in here.”
  16. It was so cold in Manhattan last night that flashers were forced to describe themselves to people.

One line funny quotesPlease share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did any of these one-line funny quotes make you smile?

I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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3 humorous stories that’ll brighten your day a little

11/01/2024 by

HUMOROUS STORIESIf you’re looking for some funny jokes in the form of humorous stories then I’ve got three great ones for you today, dear reader.

I’m confident you’ll enjoy them all.

So grab a coffee, relax and take an unofficial break from the pressures of the day to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Humorous Stories:

1. Fly Southwest:

Little Johnny was looking out of the plane’s window enjoying the experience of his first flight.

Deep in thought he suddenly turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?“

Well his mother was a little perturbed by this question and she struggled to think of an answer, so she said, “Johnny why don’t you ask the flight attendant?”

Little Johnny was not a child lacking in confidence, so he walked down the aisle and politely said to the flight attendant, “Excuse me, mam, if big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?“

The flight attendant had heard it all before of course but she smiled sweetly at Johnny and then asked, “Did your mom tell you to ask me that?“

Little Johnny returned her smile and said, “Yes mam, she did.”

“Well“, said the flight attendant, “you can tell your mom that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mom to explain that to you.“

2. Voluntary donations:

Jim was driving home from the office one day when he found himself stuck in traffic because all the cars ahead of him had come to a complete standstill on the freeway. Nothing was moving at all.

Suddenly Jim noticed that there was a police officer walking down the line of traffic and approaching the car in front.

So Jim got out of his car and asked the police officer why there was a problem.

“Sir I’m so sorry for the inconvenience but the city’s Mayor is sitting in the middle of the road ahead and he’s in a state of extreme agitation,” said the police officer.

“He says he’s deep in debt and he’s threatening to douse his body with gasoline and then set fire to himself,” the police officer added.

“So what are you doing?” asked Jim.

“I’m going from car to car asking for donations,” the police officer responded.

“And how much have you collected so far?” Jim inquired.

“Well sir,” said the police officer, “we’ve only just started but drivers ahead have given us fifteen gallons so far and other drivers are still siphoning as we speak.”

3. Bubba’s tragic demise:

Sadly, Bubba was killed in suspicious circumstances in a terrible fire, suffering severe burns that left him completely unrecognizable.

In order to identify the body formally, the Los Angeles County medical examiner called in Bubba’s two close friends Jim-Bob and Joe-Bob.

The medical examiner showed Jim-Bob the body and he responded with a sharp intake of breath and then said, “Oh jeez, he’s burnt to a crisp. Could you roll him over please sir?”

So the medical examiner rolled the body and Jim-Bob responded immediately saying, “No sir, that ain’t Bubba.”

“Are you sure?” said the medical examiner.

“Yes sir, I’m sure,” Jim-Bob responded, “but you can ask Joe-Bob if you like.”

So Joe-Bob was brought into the mortuary and shown the body.

“Jeez,” said Joe-Bob, “he’s burnt to a crisp. Could you roll him over please sir?”

Though puzzled to receive this request once again, the medical examiner dutifully obliged and rolled the body.

Joe-Bob paused momentarily and then said, “No sir, that ain’t Bubba.”

The medical examiner was mystified by this turn of events. So he asked, “How can you possibly tell that it isn’t Bubba just by rolling him over?”

“Well sir,” said Joe-Bob, “Bubba had two assholes.”

“What do you mean, he had two assholes?” exclaimed the medical examiner.

“Yes sir, everyone knew that around here,” said Joe-Bob.

“How do you know?” the medical examiner asked.

To which Joe-Bob responded, “Because every time the three of us walked down Main Street together, you’d hear people say, ‘Here comes Bubba with two assholes’.”

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these humorous stories made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

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35 one-liners about life that will raise a smile

10/31/2024 by

ONE-LINERS ABOUT LIFEI love one-liners about life. The one I love most has to be the following:-

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”

Older readers may remember that this was the expression made famous by Marvin the Paranoid Android in Douglas Adams’ classic novel, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

I’m sure we’ve all shared Marvin’s sentiment occasionally when we experience life’s more challenging moments.

However positive we are, life can get the better of us sometimes.

So here are some one-liners about life that are guaranteed to raise a smile or two, as I’m sure at least some of them will resonate with readers.

Life can be absurd at times and it’s difficult on occasions to believe the evidence of our own eyes and ears.

Nevertheless, our aim must be to remain positive and to do that we must learn to laugh at life and ourselves.

Don’t take it all too seriously.

Just laugh as much as you can and that is the perfect counter-balance to Life’s absurdities.

Start now by laughing at all these one-liners which I’ve collected together to amuse and entertain you, dear reader.

One-liners about life (1-20):

  1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  2. Life is a terminal disease.
  3. Youth is wasted on the young.
  4. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
  5. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  6. It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
  7. We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.
  8. Being a hypochondriac could save your life one of these days.
  9. Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.
  10. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  11. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
  12. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
  13. I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
  14. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  15. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
  16. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
  17. Just because a road’s well-trodden doesn’t mean it leads anywhere worth going.
  18. As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else.
  19. Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism but stealing ideas from many people is research.
  20. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

One-liners about life (21-35):

  1. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than the police.
  2. You might as well laugh at your problems because everyone else does.
  3. God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.
  4. Dolphins are so smart they can train people to stand at the edge of the pool and throw fish at them.
  5. If I was doin’ any better, I’d have to hire someone to help me enjoy it!
  6. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  7. How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
  8. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  9. I thought I wanted a career but I realize now that I just wanted a decent income.
  10. Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they’re sexy.
  12. Why is it that most nudists are people you wouldn’t want to see naked?
  13. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
  14. Some people will appreciate it others will be irritated by it. Either way, you win.
  15. The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.

one-liners-about-lifePlease share with your friends:

So dear reader, did any of these one-liners about life make you smile?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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10 silly jokes that’ll definitely make you laugh

10/29/2024 by

SILLY JOKESLooking for some silly jokes to make you laugh, dear reader? Then I’ve got 10 good ones for you today and they’re guaranteed to make you laugh.

There’s nothing smutty here, just genuinely good fun.

So sit back and take a few moments to enjoy a good laugh.

Silly jokes:

  • What do you call zombies in the belfry?
  • Dead ringers
  • What’s it called when you borrow money to buy a bison?
  • A buffaloan
  • What do you call a rotten hot dog?
  • A rankfurter
  • What do you call a hippy’s wife?
  • Mississippi
  • What do you call a ghost who only haunts the town hall?
  • The nightmayor
  • What do you call a dance for people who hate each other?
  • An avoidance
  • What do you call an American sketch drawing?
  • A Yankee doodle
  • What do you call a goat that’s a professional comedian?
  • Billy the Kid
  • What do you call an ancient Egyptian ruler with no teeth?
  • A gummy mummy
  • What do you call a blonde police officer?
  • A fair cop

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If any of these silly jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, and share this post now.

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3 funny stories that’ll make you laugh

10/28/2024 by

FUNNY STORIESSearching for some funny stories, dear reader? Well, if you enjoy jokes in the form of amusing stories then I have three little gems for you today.

So, grab a coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy them all.

And please feel free to share them.

Funny Stories:

1. The boasting Texan:

Gus was a proud Texan who’d never been outside the United States before. So he decided he’d take a vacation in Canada.

On arriving at Toronto Pearson international airport he took a cab to his downtown hotel.

During the ride into the city they passed Queen’s Park and Gus was a little curious to learn something about the place.

So he said to the cab driver, “Hey buddy, what’s that?”

“Well”, said the cab driver with a sense of pride, “that park is the site of the Ontario Legislative Building which houses the Legislative Assembly of Ontario. It’s like your State government. Believe it or not, those buildings are over 100 years old and they’re big don’t you think?”

Gus was unimpressed. “That’s nothing”, he said. “Back in Texas, we have older buildings that are twice as big.”

Then they drove passed the skyscraper known as First Canadian Place.

“And what’s that?” asked Gus.

“Oh, that’s Canada’s tallest skyscraper”, said the cab driver. “Believe it or not that’s 978 feet high and it took four years to build.”

“Only 978 feet, that’s not very tall,” Gus responded. “Back home we have much taller buildings and they were all built in half the time. In the United States that building wouldn’t even make the list of Top 10 tallest buildings.”

Naturally, at this point, the cab driver was starting to feel a little irritated by Gus’s boasting.

Soon they were driving past the CN Tower.

Gus stared at it momentarily and then asked the cab driver, “And what’s that buddy?”

The cab driver looked at the structure and then smiled, “Oh, that’s just a Canadian pepper grinder.”

2. The wrong priorities:

Jeff was a very successful, young lawyer who was involved in a terrible car crash on the freeway.

The whole of the driver’s side of Jeff’s Maserati had been ripped clean off, along with his left arm.

He was staggering out of the wreckage when a motorcycle police officer arrived at the scene.

Jeff was clearly in a state of shock, mumbling, “Oh my God! My car! Look at my car!”

Seeing how badly Jeff was injured, the police officer said, “Sir, please try to stay calm. We need to be more concerned about your personal injuries, rather than any damage to your car.”

Jeff slowly looked down to where his left arm has once been and then suddenly he screamed, “Oh my God! My Rolex has gone! Where’s my Rolex?”

3. The Psychiatric Hospital:

Jim and Rita were long-term patients in a psychiatric hospital.

One day they were walking past the hospital’s therapeutic swimming pool when, suddenly, Jim threw himself into the deep end.

Knowing Jim couldn’t swim at all, Rita dived straight in after him and dragged him to the safety of the poolside.

As luck would have it the head psychiatrist saw exactly what happened and recognized just how brave Rita had been in the circumstances.

In recognition of her bravery, it was decided that she was ready to be discharged from the hospital, as her actions suggested that she was now mentally sound.

So the head psychiatrist called her into his office to tell Rita about the review panel’s decision.

“Rita”, said the head psychiatrist, “I have some good news for you. Unfortunately, I also have some bad news for you too.”

“What’s the good news?” asked Rita.

“Well, in recognition of your bravery in saving the life of another patient”, said the head psychiatrist, “We think you’ve shown you’ve regained a sound mind, so it’s been decided that you’re ready to be discharged.”

“That’s good”, said Rita. “But what’s the bad news?”

“Well, Jim subsequently hanged himself with the belt of his robe in the washroom. Unfortunately, he’s dead”, the head psychiatrist responded.

“No, doctor,” said Rita, “he didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry.”

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Perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

If you enjoyed this post then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

Thank you for your support.

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