Tommy Cooper One-liners: 35 that’ll make you smile

09/19/2024 by

If you enjoy Tommy Cooper one-liners, I’ve curated 35 for you to enjoy today.

For readers unfamiliar with him, Tommy Cooper was a legendary British entertainer hugely popular on television in Britain in the 1960s and 1970s.

Thomas Frederick Cooper was a Welsh prop comedian and magician. As an entertainer, his appearance was large and lumbering at 6 feet 4 inches (1.93 m), and he habitually wore a trademark red fez hat when performing.

As a magician, his tricks would often take an unexpected turn for comedic effect. That said, he was a skilled conjurer and a member of the Magic Circle.

Sadly, Tommy Cooper is no longer with us but his humour lives on and there are plenty of old videos on YouTube showing him performing in his heyday. They are well worth checking out if you have the time.

In the meantime, here are some samples of his unique humour.

Tommy Cooper One-liners

I went into a French restaurant and asked the waiter, “Have you got frog’s legs?” He said, “Yes.” So, I said, “Well, hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich!”

I had a dream last night; I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

I said, “Seriously, doctor, I have broken my arm in several places.” He said, “Well, you shouldn’t go to those places.”

I’m on a whisky diet, I’ve lost 3 weeks already!

Here’s a little trick I picked up. I don’t know who dropped it

I got complimented on my parking the other day. There was a ticket on my windscreen saying parking fine.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.

I never had much luck. I had a rocking horse and that died.

Two elephants fell off a cliff… BOOM, BOOM!

A guy stopped me last night. He said, “Have you seen a policeman round here?” I said ”No.” He said, ”Well, stick ‘em up!”

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

I was cleaning the loft out with the missus the other day. Dirty, filthy and full of cobwebs, but she’s good with the kids.

A woman called her husband and said, “The carburettor is full of water.” “Where’s the car?” the man said. “In the river,” she replied.

I got into this taxi, and I said to the driver, “King Arthur’s Close.” And the driver said, “Don’t worry Tommy, I’ll shake him off at the first corner.”

I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

I hurt my arm. I went to the doctor to get it mended. Afterwards, I asked the doctor if, when it was mended, I could play the piano. He said, “Yes.” I said, “That’s funny; I couldn’t play it before.”

I said, “Waiter, what’s that in my soup?” He said, “I’d better call the boss, I can’t tell one insect from another.”

Just before the show, the producer took me to one side. And left me there. He said, “How do you feel tonight?” I said, “A bit funny.” He said, “Well, get out there before it wears off.”

A policeman stopped me the other night. He taps on the window of the car and says: “Would you please blow into this bag, sir.” I said: “What for, Officer?” He said, “My chips are too hot.”

Did you hear that joke about the fire-eater? She hiccupped and cremated herself.

I met this man at the airport, and I asked him if he`d like to share a taxi with me. He said he would. I said, “You take the engine, I’ll take the wheels!”

I went to the bank today. I said, “Could you check my balance?” They pushed me over.

A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, “We have a drink named after you.” The horse says, “What? Eric?”

A man goes into a pet shop. He says, “I’d like to buy a wasp, please.” The shopkeeper says, “Sorry, sir, but we don’t sell wasps.” The man says, “But you’ve got one in the window!”

I said to the gym instructor, “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

So, I was getting into my car, and this guy said to me, “Can you give me a lift?” I said, “Sure! You look great; the world’s your oyster; go for it.”

Last week, I went to a seafood disco and pulled a muscle.

I said to the waiter: “This chicken soup contains no chicken.” He said: “And there’s no horse in the horseradish either.”

My wife and I were married in a toilet. It was a marriage of convenience.

Two kids were arrested yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

It’s odd, isn’t it? You stand in the middle of a library and go, “Aaaaagghhhh!!” and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on a plane, and everyone joins in.

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says, “Does this taste funny to you?”

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So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did you enjoy Tommy Cooper’s brand of humour?

If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

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21 best puns ever and guaranteed to make you smile

09/09/2024 by

Best-Puns-Ever-1I love wordplay, especially that form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings of words for humorous effect.

I think clever puns are brilliant, which is why I’ve been searching the Internet for some of the best ones.

Here of 21 of the best puns I’ve found, so let me know what you think.

As always when searching the net for wit and wisdom, it’s difficult to confirm the original author. Should you be one of them dear reader then please let me know. That way I can give you full credit for your brilliance.

Best puns ever:

  1. How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
  2. I hate peer pressure and you should too.
  3. Ladies, if he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, let that mango.
  4. I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a sh** in days.
  5. I’m a born pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  6. My new girlfriend works at the Zoo. I think she’s a keeper.
  7. A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where’s the bartender?”
  8. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  9. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  10. I’ve decided to sell my Hoover. Well, it’s just gathering dust.
  11. What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  12. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went downhill fast.
  13. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
  14. A cop knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes but my dogs don’t even own bikes.
  15. I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. That must be a milestone.
  16. To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing.
  17. This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that’s a nice Jester.
  18. Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence.
  19. I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda then I realised it was just a Fanta sea.
  20. A wife shouted to her husband that moose were falling from the sky. No, it’s just reindeer, he responded.
  21. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns but I realized that toucan play at that game.

Best-Puns-Ever-2Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Were these the best puns ever? Did they make you smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Articles you might enjoy:

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25 funniest one-liners to make you smile

09/07/2024 by

FUNNIEST ONE-LINERSHere are some of the funniest one-liners I was able to find today. They all made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too.

Unfortunately, I was unable to identify the original authors for these inventive and witty lines, so for the moment they are all classified as ‘Author Unknown’.

However should any reader be able to identify specific authors for individual one-liners, then I’d welcome your advice. I am very keen to add acknowledgements and links wherever I can, so please help.

In the meantime take a few minutes to enjoy 25 of the funniest one-liners because everyone needs to laugh whenever possible.

Funniest one-liners (1-12):

  1. I won $3 million in the lottery this weekend, so I decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
  2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there; he said he couldn’t complain.
  3. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Call me playful but scaring men is so easy.
  4. Time may be a great healer but it’s a lousy beautician.
  5. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
  6. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
  7. It’s easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
  8. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
  9. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
  10. My ideal woman is one who is too naïve to know she’s way out of my league.
  11. She wanted a puppy, but I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
  12. My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

Funniest one-liners (13-25):

  1. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
  2. The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.
  3. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
  4. My husband is on the roof. Only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
  5. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road!”
  6. My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename my cat.
  7. One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.
  8. Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
  9. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
  10. Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
  11. Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times, men avoided asking the way.
  12. “Doctor, there’s a patient on Line 1 who says he’s invisible.” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
  13. The deeper the pit you’re falling into, the more chance you have to learn how to fly. 

Funniest One-LinersPlease share this post:

So dear reader, were these the funniest one-liners in your opinion? Was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these one-liners made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Articles you might enjoy:

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25 dark humor quotes that will brighten your day

08/30/2024 by

If you’re looking for some dark humor quotes, dear reader, I’ve pulled together 25 that will brighten your day. Well, I hope so, anyway.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all and then please feel free to pass them on.

Sharing smiles is the most useful thing any of us can do. Laughter is always the best medicine.

Dark humor quotes:

  1. I’m not lazy. I just have an energy-saving mode.
  2. People believe in God but does God believe in people?
  3. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
  4. Where would you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it.
  5. I don’t hate you. I’m just not that excited about your existence.
  6. Just be yourself is not necessarily the best advice for everyone.
  7. In life, occasionally you’re the pigeon but mostly you’re the statue.
  8. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  9. If at first, you don’t succeed, remove all evidence that you even tried.
  10. Never hit anyone with glasses. If you must hit them, use a baseball bat.
  11. Friendship’s more important than money. Unless someone owes you $100.
  12. Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
  13. ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing unless you’re at a funeral.
  14. If one door opens when another one closes, your house is probably haunted.
  15. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you could be missing out on the joke of the day.
  16. My house is like the Bermuda Triangle. Stuff comes in never to be seen again.
  17. Why doesn’t my phone fly when I put it in airplane mode? I’d really like to know.
  18. Everyone brings joy to my house. Some when they arrive; others when they leave.
  19. If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, you’d have to ask, “What happened to the rabbit?”
  20. I always said I wanted to be somebody but perhaps I should have been more specific.
  21. Smell is one of the biggest triggers of memory. How will you be remembered?
  22. I’m not known for being tough but I have the heart of a lion. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
  23. I’m a leader, not a follower. Unless it’s a very dark and spooky place, then you’re going first.
  24. My grief counsellor died last week. However he was so good at his job, it hasn’t bothered me at all.
  25. The quickest way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach. An axe through the chest would be a lot quicker.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did any of these dark humor quotes make you smile, dear reader? I hope so. If they did, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

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33 amusing one-liners that might just make you smile

08/25/2024 by

You might enjoy today’s post if you love witty and amusing one-liners.

There are 33 little gems here that should tickle you, at least a little.

Either that, or they might make you cringe.

Yes, it’s true, a few are corny. Nevertheless, I hope they give you a laugh.

So enjoy them all, and please feel free to pass them on.

Amusing One-liners (1-11):

  1. As a skill, sign language is quite handy.
  2. We have a chicken-proof lawn. It’s impeccable.
  3. Try running behind a car and you’ll only get exhausted.
  4. If I had a DeLorean, I’d only drive it from time to time.
  5. Elvis, my pet mouse has died. He was caught in a trap.
  6. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
  7. Knowing how to pick locks has opened a lot of doors for me.
  8. I’ve got a pen that writes underwater. It writes other words too.
  9. If towels could tell jokes, would they have a dry sense of humor?
  10. What does a painter do when he gets cold? Puts on another coat.
  11. Live, love and laugh. If that doesn’t work then load, aim and fire.

Amusing One-liners (12-22):

  1. Why was it so hot at the ballpark after the game? All the fans left.
  2. I switched from eating venison to pheasant. It was a game-changer.
  3. The perfect solution for keeping Brownies fresh? Eat them all in one sitting.
  4. My wife would’ve looked for her missing watch but she couldn’t find the time.
  5. The Invisible Man married an invisible woman. Their kids weren’t anything to look at either.
  6. I explained to my carpenter that I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.
  7. When I was a kid, I thought Sunday School was where you learned to make ice cream.
  8. I went into a pub and ate a Ploughman’s lunch. The ploughman really wasn’t happy about it.
  9. Replace your chocolate bar with grapefruit as a snack and you can lose 90% of the joy of living.
  10. I arranged for a Russian driver to take me to the airport. His name was Pikkup Andropov.
  11. Police were called to the old folks’ home because an elderly lady was resisting a rest.

Amusing One-liners (23-33):

  1. My friend is so dumb he got fired from the Dollar store because he couldn’t remember the prices.
  2. A man was arrested after falling into a Combine Harvester whilst trying to steal it. He’s now been bailed.
  3. The sweater I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.
  4. My wife said suddenly, “You weren’t listening to me.” And I thought, “That’s a strange way to start a conversation.”
  5. I don’t mind coming to work each day. It’s the eight-hour wait before I can go home that I’m not keen on.
  6. A guy has been stealing shirts at the Shopping Mall in order of size. Apparently, he’s still at large.
  7. My wife’s been telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. She says it’s all about raisin awareness.
  8. There was a time when cosmetic surgery was a taboo subject. Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
  9. I asked the librarian where I could find books on Paranoia. She leaned in towards me and whispered quietly, “They’re right behind you!”
  10. A man walks into a hardware store and picks up a can fly spray. “Is this good for wasps,” he asks. “No, it kills them,” the cashier responded.
  11. Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Whereas married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post worth a few minutes of your time?

Were these one-liners amusing? Did they make you smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, just click on the links below.

Articles you might enjoy:

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21 brilliant one-liner quotes that are sharp and witty

08/24/2024 by

Here are 21 brilliant one-liner quotes for you today.

I’m confident that at least some of them will make you smile.

Certainly, they made me smile.

Enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Brilliant one-liner quotes (1-10):

  1. I did have a handle on life, but it’s broken.
  2. No, I can’t offer you a solution, but I can offer a sarcastic remark.
  3. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
  4. I don’t like jokes about the unemployed because none of them works.
  5. Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
  6. Every organisation is perfectly designed to get the results they’re getting.
  7. Do people really practise yoga every day? It sounds like a bit of a stretch to me.
  8. If you think television can insult your intelligence, nothing rubs it in like a computer.
  9. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  10. Letting go of a loved one is hard unless you’re trying to survive a rock-climbing accident.

Brilliant one-liner quotes (11-21):

  1. Have you heard about the new game for Generation Z kids’? It’s called ‘I spy with my little iPhone’.
  2. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  3. Worrying can solve your problems. I know because 99 per cent of the things I worry about never happen.
  4. Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
  5. I was knocked off the donkey I was riding when someone threw a rock at me. I was literally stoned off my ass.
  6. You might be tempted to fight fire with fire, but remember that the fire department prefers to use water.
  7. If you give a man a fish you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you’ve saved yourself a fish, haven’t you?
  8. I’m told money can’t buy me happiness but, surely being miserable in a Mercedes beats being miserable on the bus?
  9. So, what, if the early bird gets the worm? It’s better to be the second mouse and get the cheese. Worm or cheese? No contest!
  10. A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of Jack Daniel’s. The bartender said, ‘I’m sorry buddy but we don’t serve spirits in here.’
  11. If you want proof that light travels faster than sound, you only have to look at people who appear bright until they open their mouths.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did any of these brilliant one-liner quotes make you smile, dear reader? I hope so. And if they did, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.

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33 hilarious cheesy pick-up lines to make you smile

08/14/2024 by

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, particularly when we’re young.

We’re in a bar or a club and we see someone attractive, who we’d like to get to know a little bit better.

The weapon of choice in such situations is the pick-up or chat-up line as a conversation opener with the intent of engaging that person in the hope that it may lead to a date or even romance.

Sadly there are not many pick-up lines that we can truly look back on with pride though.

Here are 33 hilarious but very cheesy pick-up lines that may not stand the test of time but certainly they’ll make you smile right now. Enjoy them all.

Pick-Up Lines:

  1. Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
  2. Are you Yoda? Because Yodalicious.
  3. Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?
  4. Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
  5. Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper!
  6. Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  7. Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
  8. Hello, you’re so hot a firefighter couldn’t put you out.
  9. I must be in a museum because you’re a work of art.
  10. You’re so lovely, you make me wanna go out and get a job
  11. Hi, I’m writing a phone book. Can I have your number?
  12. I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.
  13. Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be pretty cute.
  14. I’m not a photographer but I can picture me and you together.
  15. Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
  16. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  17. I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
  18. Was your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
  19. I’m not a hoarder but I really want to keep you forever.
  20. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  21. Can I follow you? Because my mom told me to follow my dreams
  22. You must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet.
  23. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
  24. I heard you’re good at algebra. Can you replace my X without asking Y
  25. Do you have a band-aid? Because I scraped my knees falling for you.
  26. You really shouldn’t wear makeup. You’re messing with perfection!
  27. I may not be the best-looking guy here but I’m the only one talking to you.
  28. Would you grab my arm, so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
  29. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
  30. Do you know if there are any police around here? Cause I’m about to steal your heart.
  31. You look familiar. Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.
  32. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I’m willing to make an exception in your case.
  33. Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did any of these hilarious but very cheesy pick-up lines make you smile, dear reader? I hope so. If they did, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Articles you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

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13 corny jokes that will really make you smile

08/12/2024 by

CORNY JOKESLife shouldn’t be serious all the time. Occasionally we all need to smile.

So my question to you today is; do you like corny jokes?

No?

Well, that’s a pity because I’ve found 13 of them that made me smile. And I hope they will make you smile too.

The source of these corny jokes is a website called Tickld which is new to me.

However, I had a very pleasant time enjoying all the funnies it had on offer.

A link to Tickld is included so take a look but not before you’ve enjoyed what I thought were some of their best corny jokes.

And here are those 13 corny jokes for you:-

Corny Jokes:

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said: Thank you.

And I said: Don’t mention it!

 

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

 

My friend said to me: What rhymes with orange?

And I said: No it doesn’t!

 

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

 

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

 

Corny JokesSo what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world.

 

How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.

 

I’ve found a job helping a one-armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.

 

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?

Aye matey.

 

I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

 

People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do!

 

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

 

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

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So did these corny jokes really make you smile? Were they all you hoped they’d be, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media.

Share the fun and everyone wins. Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day

And if you’d like to see what else Tickld has to offer, just CLICK HERE.

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15 funny quotes to gladden your heart

08/11/2024 by

FUNNY QUOTESI’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I love quotes. And I’m always on the lookout for great quotes, and particularly funny quotes.

Many great quotes have influenced my own personal philosophy.

Others have been really useful as a means for reinforcing messages in presentations.

And then there are those that just make me smile.

I’m referring to those funny quotes that resonate with me, whilst offering a germ truth within the underlying wit.

So here are 15 funny quotes to gladden your heart and make you smile.

Enjoy them all. Certainly, I did.

Funny Quotes:

  1. In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
  2. I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not so sure.
  3. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  4. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
  5. If I won an award for laziness, I’d send someone else to pick it up.
  6. I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
  7. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  8. The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.
  9. I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
  10. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
  11. Life has no hands but it can still give you a slap in the face sometimes.
  12. Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then it’s just suspicious.
  13. Having great power is wonderful until you get the electricity bill.
  14. I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you’d like to punch in the face.
  15. Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. ~Author Unknown

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So dear reader, was this post worth a little piece of your time? Did you enjoy reading it? Were you amused?

If you were impressed and/or amused then please share this post with your friends on social media.

People love funny quotes, so please share this post now.

And let me say that if you could share this post then I’d be ever so grateful.

You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support.

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7 inspirational quotes about humor to make you think

08/10/2024 by

quotes-about-humorHumor is the most powerful medicine known to man [and woman].

Humor is a cure for so many ills. It doesn’t matter how bad you feel, a good laugh can really make you feel so much better.

In all humor there is an underlying germ of truth. It is poking fun at the truth that makes us laugh.

However, for those on the receiving end, humor can sometimes hurt. Having a good laugh at someone else’s expense can only ever be acceptable if they can see the funny side too.

So be careful with your attempts at humor. Be kind and be mindful of the sensibilities of other people.

Banter and mild leg-pulling is fine but overdo it and it can quickly turn into bullying. And that’s really not very nice, is it?

So, have a good laugh whenever possible. However, make sure someone else doesn’t have to pay an unacceptable price for your laughter.

Here are seven inspirational quotes about humor to reinforce today’s message.

Quotes About Humor:

  1. A day without laughter is a day wasted. ~Charlie Chaplin
  2. Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. ~Will Rogers
  3. There’s a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. ~Erma Bombeck
  4. I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person. ~Audrey Hepburn
  5. I realize that humor isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. ~Anne Wilson Schaef
  6. Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment. ~Grenville Kleiser
  7. Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings. ~Ellen DeGeneres

quotes-about-humor-2Please share these quotes with your friends:

If you found these quotes about humor inspiring and interesting then please share them on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you do, I’ll be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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